#basil.ramble

[basilramble]

There's actually nothing scarier than the inevitability of dying and I feel like throwing up any time I think about it

[chaosgenasi]

the new candela obscura circle !!!!!!

[basilramble]

I think my hottest take is that it isn't immoral to value your own life over others. It's just that humans don't like being the other, so we value people who put other people's lives over their own

[basilramble]

people always talk about reincarnation as if it's not really dying but it is dying. It's dying in every sense of the word. If you reincarnate and you have no memories of the life you lived before and you are an entirely new person living an entirely new life then the person you were is by all accounts dead.

[basilramble]

Having a fear of death is so hard because sometimes I'm just fine. I'm chillin. And other times even just thinking about the stars in the sky is a trigger and I have to hit the emergency button in my brain that ends all thoughts immediately to avoid having a panic attack

[basilramble]

I know I can get away from my dad but how do I get my mom away from my dad how do I keep pretending everything is fine how do I stop him from hurting her how do I stop her from hurting herself how do I get her to leave I hate him I want him out of our lives but I don't want to ruin his I just want him gone I just want him to shut up I just hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I'm so. Tired

[basilramble]

I need to get weirder

I lost it somewhere along the way

I need to stop feeling so ashamed

I need to stop being so afraid

I don't want people to hate me

I don't want to annoy anyone

I want the people I like to like me

I want the people I don't like to like me

I am so scared of being myself

I don't even

remember

who I was

[chaosgenasi]

fearne calling ludinus a dumbass. iconic

[chaosgenasi]

making a silly little conspiracy string board and connecting the dots between an unknown person/group hiring the nobodies for a “smash and grab” re: hexum to hexum having dealings with the paragon’s call to the new and improved paragon’s call basically being a front for the ruby vanguard to ludinus using the potions of possibility and a beacon for the malleus key to ashton asking milo to contact the nobodies again to ashton checking in with milo/the krook house next episode. anyway i just think it’d be neat if we get to find out more about 1) the nobodies themselves 2) who hired the nobodies and if this was a targeted attack for the purpose of draining resources from the ruby vanguard 3) if that person/group was aware of what hexum was and is smuggling, i.e. dunamancy, that would not only be great for ashton, but it would just be really fun overall to bring the luxon into the current conversation(s) surrounding the gods, the elementals, and predathos

[chaosgenasi]

okay but ashton’s response to the corset being “my back hurts, i’m okay with anything.” ashton getting compression wear/clothing real to me

[chaosgenasi]

lightkeeper alexandra is still the coolest

[chaosgenasi]

watched nimona. definitely didn't cry (cried)

[chaosgenasi]

you slipped on an apple. and hit your head on the steps

[chaosgenasi]

howard with fucking brass knuckles in his pocket i'm screaming

[chaosgenasi]

mini ashton greymoore playlist based on current vibes

[chaosgenasi]

brennan just casually being like “look. i’m an antifascist and i don’t like cops,” is so real