#bc the panic and guilt spirals and anger is not it girliepop
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u know it’s bad when ur doctor literally goes “hey you need to take a break from Lent/going to Mass this year until we work through some stuff”.
#blue chatter#this is because I am at the point where I cannot walk into a church without shaking#I had two really bad experiences at Mass in a row and it was. honestly rly damaging.#neither of the churches in my area are really viable places for me to go right now#so either I try and find an Orthodox Church or smth#or I go to online mass#but yeah my therapist is specifically known for helping ppl work thru religious trauma n scrupulosity n such#and she was like ‘hey. building up your relationship with God is really important. if you go to those churches again it is going to be bad’#the goal is getting to a point where I can live my faith and be close to God in a safe and healthy environment#bc the panic and guilt spirals and anger is not it girliepop#point being. I will be observing Ash Wednesday at home this year.#and be talking with my therapist about a good Lenten devotion that won’t cause more harm than it helps
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