#bc val is a manipulative dickwad and husk is SO different

[a-schmoozer-and-a-dummy]

when Angel and Husk get together- properly together, “i love you” together- Angel finally has to face the fact that what Valentino is doing to him, is abuse.

he knows that it’s bad, it’s fucked up, it’s an unhealthy power dynamic- but he’s never thought of it as abuse because at one point, a long time ago, he consented, and he signed that contract with a fairly decent idea of what he was getting into, and if this was abuse then he wouldn’t have signed up for it, right? right? and it’s not that angel is too dumb to see it for what it really is. Angel knows that Valentino is abusive and we see that when he stands up to him at the club and when he tries to get Val to ignore Charlie when she comes to the studio- but what gets me is the fact that Angel focuses more on protecting his friends than himself. Angel’s threshold for abuse is “you can do it to me, not to my friends,” and in a way isn’t that kind of consent in itself, right? so Angel isn’t really being abused, even though he openly admits to being exploited, right?

that’s what he desperately tries to tell himself, at least, even when he does try to break himself so Valentino can find another toy to play with.

so, no. Angel doesn’t think of himself as a victim of abuse until he gets closer to Husk, until he starts dating Husk, until Husk is asking for consent just to kiss him and holding him in a way that doesn’t make him feel caged in and letting angel bitch and moan all he wants. Angel doesn’t see himself as a victim of abuse until Husk apologizes for raising his voice at him during an argument and holds his shaky hands after a nightmare and listens to Angel when he asks for time alone.

and that makes going back to the studio that much harder.

because he finds has someone who will listen and respect his boundaries. he has someone who asks to touch him, even when just holding his hand, and someone who knows him well enough to make him a drink in advance when he gets home after a long day. he has someone who makes him want to get sober, someone who makes him believe in this whole redemption thing, someone he doesn’t have to perform in front of.

it’s hard to go back to Valentino. it’s harder knowing that Husk will be there at the end of the night, regardless of how fucked up Angel feels.