#bc you feel like you can't keep up with other writers just churning out fics and they're all so good and nuanced and better than yours

[visceravalentines]

this is a post scribbled angrily in glitter pen in my diary pls ignore <3

[goldrushzukka]

aidays playlist breakdown: chapter 3

writers block is kicking my ass right now so instead of fulfilling my promise to finish aidays by november im just gonna churn out a couple of these. sorry. (end of the year. probably. writing is really hard.)

here's the fic

here's the playlist

the one by carly rae jepsen

ms carly slay jepsen back at it again with another song about casual sex with absolutely no strings attached at all ever. easy breezy. don't even worry about it.

(ID: "Truth is I never thought of us together / You're just a friend of mine / We should know better, this can't last forever / But kiss me one more time". End ID)

this is sooooo them bc they should know better! they do know better! but here they are anyway! sokka and zuko entered into this thing with the intention of it being unserious and temporary. theyre just people who have sex, and then they become friends who have sex, and then friends starts to turn into something...else. but they've set these boundaries, so they can't be something else, so they pretend it's not happening. they keep saying casual and acting like their feelings aren't there, just to hold on to what they have, in the hopes that it'll be enough.

(ID: "Romance is fine / Pour me some wine / Tell me it's just for the fun of it / Thoughts in your eyes / Hard to deny, but / I don't want love, don't want none of it". End ID)

this part of the song is the most applicable to chapter 3 i think. the scene where sokka asks zuko to catsit while he's away at yue's wedding is so thick with romance it's a wonder they don't fucking choke on it. that whole exchange is so. like. they're lying to themselves. sokka gives zuko a key to his apartment. 24 hour access. a promise not to turn him away, that he is welcome and wanted always. and they both somehow convince themselves (and each other!) that this is a normal thing to offer your casual sex friend. olympic level mental gymnastics happening in that scene.

(ID: "If you want to, you can stay the night / I don't want to be the one, the one / IF you want to, you can hold me tight / I don't want to be the one, the one". End ID)

this is the mindset. sokka gives zuko a key to his apartment, but they're super casual. zuko sleeps better beside sokka than he has his entire life, but they're not dating or anything. they talk every day even if they don't see each other, but it's not like they're in love, right? right. they can do all of these romantic things, make all these gestures and be there for each other, and it's completely fine as long as they remind themselves that it's casual, it's casual, it's casual.

valentine (what's it gonna be) by rina sawayama

another casual relationship banger, but this time it's anxious!!! this song just scratches something in my brain. idk how to describe it i think there's drugs in this

(ID: "I don't think about the future (It doesn't matter) / Or whether we'll stay together (Whether we'll part) / Making promises is dangerous (I'm just a phase) / I'm just your valentine". End ID)

they're casual, right? because anything else -- dating from the start, admitting feelings when they're in the thick of it -- is setting themselves up for failure. they met in a dirty bar and hooked up in the bathroom before going home together, this can't last. this can't be the great love story of their lives, right? right? so this is again, still, the lie they tell themselves. it doesn't matter, it's just a fling, i'm just your valentine.

(ID: "Nowhere else to go / Turn to you but I hope you know / This love is just for show / One night and nothing more". End ID)

the contradiction of "nowhere else to go" and "this love is just for show" is exactly the kind of bullshit zuko and sokka are trying to get away with. this isn't a relationship and there are no real feelings involved and we're just having fun, but no one else would have me and i don't want anyone but you. god. they're so fucking stupid.

house key by scott helman

YEAHHH BABY LET'S GET YEARNY!!!! LET'S GET SOME PINING IN HERE

(ID: "I wanna back splash and a house cat / I wanna make a home for you / I wanna T.V. and a settee / I wanna live alone with you / And when you wake up in the middle of the night / I won't complain if you turn on the light / Beside me you'd be happy you'll see / Can I get your house key? Can I get your house key?". End ID)

this song was not inspiration for this chapter bc i didn't know it existed until i'd already published, but it very well could've been written about this fic. this song is the dead of night, when it's too quiet and dark for anything but the truth. it's all the cards held close to the chest, all the secrets kept even from yourself. the agonising knowledge that this is real, this could be something, it could be everything, it probably already is.

lover by taylor swift

let's just get into it i can't talk about what this song means to me without sounding even more deranged than i already have in this post

(ID: "And there's a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear / Have I known you twenty seconds or twenty years?". End ID)

this is the thing with zuko and sokka in this fic. they hit it off immediately. they click. the "getting to know you" phase doesn't feel like learning, it's like remembering. it's just like carly rae jepsen says in her smash hit single call me maybe, "before you came into my life, i missed you so bad". always right. anyway this line makes me want to bite my own fingers like carrot sticks

(ID: "Can I go where you go? / Can we always be this close? / Forever and ever, ah / Take me out, and take me home / You're my, my, my, my lover". End ID)

this is what love is. this is it. can i go where you go ("i wish you could be here to see it"), can we always be this close ("do you want to take the long way?"), forever and ever ("i wouldn't want to be stuck with anyone else"). that's love.

(ID: "My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue / All's well that ends well to end up with you / Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover / And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me / And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover". End ID)

this is what i'm TALKING ABOUT!!!!! like!!!! all's well that ends well to end up with you equals nothing safe is worth the drive equals every moment of heartache is worth it to be together at the end!!!!! they have each been through so much, both separately and together. i have personally forced them to have so many problems. but this is what it's all for. this is the goal. this is what they get to have, when the dust settles and the sun finally shines on them: dirty jokes and a spot beside their lover. simple pleasures made grand by true love.