#bdrppanic

[attina-the-responsible]

It Can’t Go Wrong ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights​

“I can’t believe we’re packing all of this up. It feels like just yesterday we were unpacking all of it.”

Attina looked around their kitchen, one of the last places they had decided to pack, for obvious reasons. There were boxes everywhere. The movers were coming the next morning and a few days after that, their tickets were booked at Heathrow. It still felt impossible that all of this was happening. And it still scared the shit out of her. 

But, she wanted to do it. Even though it was scary and she had no idea if she would succeed. She knew that she needed to at least try. She had already passed up this opportunity once. There was no way she would get it again. 

“Is it weird that I’m going to miss this place? We weren’t here very long, but...it’s our first house.” 

[outfit]

[enthusiasticclouds-sally]

I Can Explain || Demon Dolls

@panicked-nights

Sally had been off the past couple of days... 

It had all to do with the death of her father. She had seen it happen in a vision and had gone to Scotland on her birthday to help him pass. It was hard, he admitted to hating her, she felt the boiling emotions deep in her own skin and still she helped him move on. 

She felt trapped in the residue of the emotions she had taken from her father so that he could have peace.

And the worse part was that she had to return back to Scotland one more time for all the arrangements of her father’s body. It was why she was currently seated at her kitchen table waiting for Panic to come down. She figured she owed him an explanation. She knew he was probably wondering what was going on with her and if she was going to leave again he deserved to know. 

To top it off, her empath abilities have now added being able to see the aura’s of those around her as well as taking away the emotions of others. Sally has been having horrible headaches from all the different colors she has seen in town.

Tea was already all made and once Panic appeared she greeted him with a smile handing him the warm mug of tea.

“It’s freshly made and your favorite flavor. You... have time to talk?”

[labellerose-acheron]

Spill the Beans *** [Beautiful Demon feat. Attina]

@panicked-nights​

Belle hated grocery shopping. On the list of her least favourite chores (and mind you, she liked none of them particularly well), grocery shopping was in the top three, at the very least. Right up there with hoovering/mopping and doing laundry. Okay, well, she didn’t like dishes either, much. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t like being clean, of course she did. She just hated how time consuming it all was. Especially now that she was feeding a very picky almost-18-month-old and eating for two (three?) herself, which meant a proper diet and supplements and--

She was already over it. A bit grumpy too. And reading news articles on her phone as she rolled down the aisles, her elbows on the cart, leaning over to take the weight off her lower back, which was already starting to hurt. Great. Obviously, she was not paying attention and her cart knocked right into someone else’s, making her drop her phone. it slid across the floor.

“Bugger,” she grumbled and looked up, eyebrows raising in surprise. 

“Percy?” Her phone lay forgotten on the grocery floor. 

[attina-the-responsible]

By the Sea ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights​

Attina was so glad that their final tour of the venue where they would be getting married and holding their reception happened to fall directly after the latest town dream. How many more of those bloody things were going to torture her with children that she didn’t have? How many more times was it going to remind her of all that she had lost?

She was, frankly, sick of it and glad to be leaving Swynlake. Once upon a time, she had defended it’s charm and idyllic nature, but it was one heartbreak too many for her. Amelia’s loss rolling back to her like waves, as if she did not dream of her daughter all the time. As if she was over it and needed reminding. She didn’t. What she needed was a bloody vacation.

They had gotten to the venue early. It was a lovely ballroom, with floor to ceiling windows on one side that looked out onto the beach, which they were steps from. It was not a large hall, but the perfect size for their small nuptials. The actual ceremony would be held out on the pier, which they could see from their vantage point. 

Attina had her back to the windows, though. 

“I was thinking the dance floor could go here,” she pointed to one end of the ballroom. “And the bar would go over there.” 

The manager of the venue nodded along as she spoke, taking notes on her clipboard. “I think that should be doable. What about the gift’s table?” 

[outfit!]

[attina-the-responsible]

How to Tell Your Family You’re Moving Across the World According to Mermaids ~*~ [Merfam]

In which Attina and Panic make a big announcement...[takes place at the beginning of the summer.]

@arista-the-musical​, @aquata-the-champ​, @alana-the-brilliant​, @melody-the-unwritten​, @panicked-nights​

[tw -- none]

ATTINA: Attina had cooked a nice salmon and tofu (for the veggies) dinner for everyone. It was almost easier to wrangle everyone now, because there were so few of them. Andrina and Adella were such big presences that dinners felt so small without them. But, she’d already called them both and told them that she was moving. It had been nice to slide into it that way, but they were also the oldest. She had no idea how the rest of her sisters were going to react.

It was nice to have Panic there for moral support. And her dad, of course. Who was aware that tonight was going to be the night.

Attina was not nervous that they were going to be angry with her. She was actually nervous of the opposite. That people would want her to leave. That they would tell her that why did it matter, why was she making a big deal of this?

She waited until the dinner was winding down. One of the sisters actually got up to put her plate up because Attina was procrastinating.

“Wait—“ she barked, when the sister stood. “Uh, please, sit. I, er—we—“ she glanced at Panic. “Have something to tell you.”

Attina took another breath. “PanicandIaremovingtoAustralia.”

AQUATA: Aquata almost choked on her salmon. “Australia?” she repeated.

This was the thing: Aquata was learning to let go of the idea that all of her sisters would stay in the same place forever. Especially after talking to her at the wedding, Aquata now understood that this wasn’t just a phase for Andy and she probably wasn’t coming back. And even though Adella had gotten the brunt of Aquata’s crisis about the family splitting up, Aquata had eventually made her peace with it.

She maybe expected Tina to leave, eventually, especially since she didn’t have her wedding in Swynlake. But Australia?

She coughed and cleared her throat, her expression going neutral. “That’s a long bloody plane ride.”

ARISTA: Arista chewed on her tofu, happy to just sit among her family. Dinner nights were always so lovely. It was how they all caught up on things. (Well, at least the ones who were still in town).

Her brows shot up, Aquata had a point. It was a long plane ride. “Australia? Like forever?” Australia seemed pretty permanently away from Swynlake. But she trusted her sister to not make decisions unless she had already thought it over like a million times. “You think you’ll be near where Jake’s from? Maybe he can give you some pointers or teach you slang.” She tilted her head, trying to think back to all the weird things she’d heard her sister’s boyfriend say over the years.

ALANA: "Australia?!"

To be honest, Alana had a moment of fear. It struck her suddenly and she looked at the dinner table, at the empty seats where Andrina and Adella once sat. She felt something twist in her gut, but then she looked at Tina and that twisting feeling transformed into a swell of pride.

"Ohmigosh that's so great!" she exclaimed. "Wow, more excuses for me to visit."

MELODY: Well, that was far. Was the first thought as Melody digested the news. She wasn't all that surprised though. Each of the girls were moving on in their own way she wondered who would be next truly.

But this wasn't supposed to be sad. Not at all. "When are you planning on moving?"

PANIC: Panic watched everyone's reactions grimacing ahead of time almost expecting for it to go terribly. Though it wasn't that bad not yet. "It's a long plane ride for sure but we're planning on getting a big enough place you guys can all visit whenever." Panic offered leaving Tina to answer Arista because really who knew especially with school. 

"Toward the end of summer, we need to be there by Late August so we want to settle in a bit."

ATTINA: Attina hadn't announced something like this since...well, since her pregnancy. And she'd done that one on one, because as much as she insisted on these dinners and everyone sharing their lives with each other, she always found it a little overwhelming to be the focus of the attention.

It was nice to have Panic there to help her, because she was trying to untangle her tongue while all her sisters and cousin stared at her. She knew it must be shocking and probably felt like it was coming out of left field and she felt herself about to word vomit everywhere a bunch of excuses.

Panic corralled everyone first and Attina shot him a grateful look before nodding.

"Yes, late summer. I will, uhm, I'm--I accepted an PhD studies offer at the National Australia University in Canberra for Marine Biology. It's not near Jake's, unfortunately." She had already looked that up, because of course she knew where her sister's boyfriend was from. "But, I'm sure he can give us plenty of pointers."

AQUATA: Aquata was stunned.

Andy had always been a loose cannon. Adella had always wanted to get out of Swynlake from the beginning. But Tina? Tina, who basically ran Whosits and Whatsits, who went to every community event, who had a house here and friends and, okay, probably a lot of bad memories too, but who seemed more a part of Swynlake than anyone else?

It was like one of those moments when you were a kid and realized the teacher didn’t sleep at school. Attina had her own life. But.... Australia was really far.

Aquata didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t want to make a scene, or be the unsupportive one (again). But for someone who liked plans and routines, who liked being able to keep track of everyone, it was a lot to process.

“Congrats, Tina, that’s cool,” Aquata said flatly. She needed to go for a swim. She looked at Panic and smirked. Humor was a little easier than being sincere. “Better be a mansion. I’m not getting on a twenty-hour flight for any old cottage. Or maybe I’ll just swim there. Probably faster.”

Aquata made a face to show she was joking, because she didn’t want to freak Attina out, but honestly, it did sound like a fun idea.

ALANA: Alana was still processing this. First Andrina had left, which seemed like a given and honestly, Lana had been surprised it hadn't happened sooner. She missed Andrina so much, her absence like a loose tooth she kept on prodding with her tongue. Adella had left second, which hadn't been a surprise either; she'd already left once the first time and she'd never wanted to stay in Swynlake. She had big dreams and a little town in England didn't exactly lend itself to them.

And now Attina --

Maybe this had been coming from the beginning. Maybe Attina dreamed of things too, dreamed of the ocean and helping save it. Maybe it was obligation that had kept her trapped in Swynlake, that obligation growing into fear and spreading across the rest of them. Maybe that's why Andrina had broken away, why Adella had always dreamed of bigger things. Maybe it all went back to Attina and the fact that she had stayed in the first place, instead of leaving.

Alana always wondered why she was working in a shoppe when she had a Master's degree.

Alana didn't know what she'd do without her big sister. It was one thing for Andrina and Adella to go off -- but Attina?

She wasn't sure where to look. Looking at Attina might make her cry. Looking at Aquata might make her scared. So she looked at Arista, who was soft and smiling and with a deep breath, Lana tried to relax herself.

(She wondered, briefly, if she would ever leave Swynlake; she'd thought about it a lot as a teenager but now... well with her own place and her own life separate from the legacy of her family, it didn't really bother her as much. She wondered, out of all of them, who would go and who would remain).

"Oh my gosh, do you have a new place picked out already?" asked Alana. "Is it by the beach? Please tell me it's by the beach."

ARISTA: Arista, of course, was sad to see any of her sisters go. But she knew they all had to do some exploring of their own some time. She had left for a time to find perspective and where her music came from. Andy had left to grow and spread herself far and wide so she could experience everything the world had to offer. Adella had dreams that were outside of Swynlake. And so while she had been sad for those instances, she was happy for them because she knew they were becoming who they wanted to be most in the world.

And though the sadness over Tina hit her heart particularly hard as Tina had been the most patient and the most kind to her growing up (they of course were not without their fights as seen over the last couple years) but Arista knew that Tina had put a lot on hold and been through so much in town that it only made sense that she too at some point would want to find something different out there. And that didn’t mean they were losing her. They were just gaining distance while she became an even brighter version of herself.

She looked between her sisters, they all has their respective reactions but one thing was clear, they loved their sister and wanted to see her happy in their own ways.

She smiled softly, her voice matched her smile as she looked at her eldest sister, “I think you really deserve this, Teens.”

MELODY: Melody sighed softly but nodded, this was good. The degree was amazing. And it would be good for Attina and Panic, she was sure of it. Or at least she hoped. Just like she hoped all the others girls were happier doing whatever it was they were doing right now.

It felt lonely in a way, seeing everyone move on but making her life more steady here. Would she be like them too one day? Would the rest of the Triton's be like that?

"Congrats Tina. That's going to be such a cool program. " None the less Melody would take each day by day and today was Tina and Panic's day.

PANIC: Panic nodded giving the girls all a smile, a brief glance over to JEFF too. "We'll be near the water and no little cottage don't worry. Though maybe not a mansion big." Panic grinned with a raised eyebrow in Aquata's direction.

"Enough room and good scenery, it'll be worth the flight." Reaching over Panic gave Tina's hand a small squeeze. This was going a lot better than expected and part of him wondered if it was because some of the others girls had left. Strangely enough this was more common than you would first think.

ATTINA: No one was yelling. Everyone was smiling--some more reserved than others. The air was a little stilted, awkward, and nervous, but...no one was yelling. That let Attina know, more than anything else, that this was the right decision. She had let out the breath she was holding and managed a tentative smile herself.

There were little tears shining in the corner of her eyes, but she nodded, squeezing Panic's hand back when he reached for her.

"Yes, of course. You are all welcome to visit, at any time. And we'll all FaceTime and text. It will be like I'm not really gone at all."

"We'll miss you too, Tiny, but don't worry. You're going to do brilliantly," Daddy said, reaching over to squeeze Attina's shoulder. She smiled over at him. "Your mum would be proud."

"Daddy," Attina said, those tears trembling--much more closer to falling. "You must promise to keep me informed of everything. I'll miss you all so much."

[attina-the-responsible]

Let Them Eat Cake ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights

They had an appointment at the Blue Oven for cake taste testing. At first, Attina had been hesitant to do so. It felt so real, taking this step. Even finalizing the guest list didn’t feel as real as this, because the cake was something that could melt on her tongue. She’d be able to feel it, taste it. It wasn’t an electronic save the date that had been sent out.

There was also the part of her that wanted to bake her wedding cake herself. It had taken several people to talk her out of that. It would be too much work, on top of planning everything else. And didn’t she want to relax on her wedding day? (Ha, fat chance of that happening.) 

But, no, everyone was right. It was best to leave this to the professionals. Especially with Attina’s need for everything to be perfect. They were just choosing a flavor today anyway. The colour scheme hadn’t even been chosen yet, so it was impossible to discuss what kind of cake aesthetic wise they wanted. Still, she came armed with her (large) wedding binder and sat, fiddling with the corner as the trays of wedding cake slices were laid out in front of them.

“Here,” she said, handing Panic a pen and pencil and notepad and then opening up her binder and flipping to the cake section. “We’ll rate each one 1-5 by overall flavor, moistness, uniqueness...can you think of any other categories?” 

[attina-the-responsible]

Oh, Bring Us the Figgy Pudding ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights​

Attina did not think she was the only one with the idea to make this Christmas go off without a hitch, but she did think that she was the only one actually capable of it. And this was for one, very important reason: the most important part of Christmas was the food. Gathering with family, too, of course--but the food could make or break such a thing. It was food that everyone gathered around. It was food that made you feel warm and happy and grateful. 

So, Christmas morning she and Panic had awoken early, exchanged their own gifts quietly, gathered up the things they had made in advanced (mostly the various desserts and the most important part: the main course), and headed over to the Triton House. 

Clicking on the radio, so that Christmas music played soft and low through the kitchen, Attina reached up to tie her hair back.

“Alright: salmon and dill sauce, potato and leek soup, roasted parsnips, mashed potatoes, toasted brussel sprouts, cranberry relish, braised red cabbage...where do we want to start, Chef?” She raised her eyebrows in Panic’s direction.  

[comfy cooking outfit]

[attina-the-responsible]

The Sound of Silence ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights

Attina was good at many things. She was good at cooking and baking, she was good at knitting, at cleaning, at singing, at doing someone’s hair, and, once upon a time, she had been good at being a big sister and a daughter and a fiancée.

Attina was good at many things, but what Attina was best at was avoiding the hard things. She did not know if she had always been good at this, but it had simply become necessity, then a habit, then part of her character. It was like vines wrapped so firmly around her, she couldn’t untangle them. Even if she tried. And she was trying.

She tried with her sisters first. Little by little. It wasn’t so much that she stopped avoiding the things that she was feeling, but she stopped avoiding them. Stopped walking on egg shells. Stopped treating them like they were Andrina, and that they hated her.

It was going alright, but there was still this wound that made her feel as if she was lagging, limping along. 

That wound had a name: Panic. 

She tried not to miss him. To avoid the missing, but she couldn’t. It was a wound that couldn’t heal, because it wasn’t supposed to be a wound in the first place. She still kept her ring on her finger, still referred to him as her fiancé. They still had a house together. They still had a child together. 

So, here she was, at Sally’s door, in an attempt to mend the largest wound of all. She didn’t know if she would succeed, or what she would say, but she did know how to try--even if she wouldn’t be any good at it. 

Her heart was in her throat as she knocked on the door, hoping that it wouldn’t be Sally that answered.

It wasn’t. 

Attina blinked, swallowed, and then tried to smile, just a little when Panic appeared in the doorway. “Hi,” she greeted him softly. “May I come in?”

[outfit! probably with nude tights.]

[attina-the-responsible]

BDRPwrimo -- Day 27

Write either a flashback or a flashforward thread with another mun!

Precious as a Pearl ~*~ [Siren] [Flash Forward]

@panicked-nights​

It had been a long day.

Everyone was tired and everyone was grumpy. But that came with the territory when you spur-of-the-moment adopted a young girl who needed a home. The RAS agent that had met them an hour’s drive from their house told them all the necessary details: Her name was Pearl, or what was the best translation of her mermish name, anyway. Her parents had given her up because some of their pod had been poached and they were afraid they were going to be next. (Attina thought this rather horrid of them, if she was honest. Why not just move onto land? Yes, it was an adjustment, but there were programs to help with that.)

Then, the agent had handed over a file with “Pearl” written across the front of it, nodded, and left. 

There wasn’t much for it after that. Attina and Panic had put Pearl in the car and headed back home. The drive felt infinitely longer in this direction. Pearl cried so hard that they’d stopped the car and Attina had crawled into the back with her. She tried to sign a bit of mermish with her, to get her to calm down a bit, but the girl hardly looked at her through her tears. Eventually, she managed to tucker herself out and when they arrived back at the house, she was still sleeping. 

Attina unhooked her from her car seat and scooped her up into her arms. 

The babysitter greeted them at the door. They thanked her with quiet words and then watched as she got in her car and drove off. Attina looked at Panic over the top of Pearl’s dark head of hair and smiled at him. It was an exhausted little smile, but a smile all the same. 

“How much do you want to bet this will just devolve into a crying match between Pearl and Annie?” Attina joked as Panic fiddled with his keys. She sighed and shook her head. That wasn’t the proper question to ask. 

“You ready?” she asked instead. 

[attina-the-responsible]

The Purr-fect Hero ~*~ [Siren][BDPL]

@panicked-nights​

Attina was on her way to Hammerlocke. A few friends were along with her, and her sister too. She was feeling really confident now! With two gym wins under her belt and Astrid thiiiiiis close to evolving. It wouldn’t be long now, probably before she got to the next stop on her journey: Hammerlocke and the Fighting/Fire Type Gym there. 

She wasn’t worried, though! Her Water Types were excellent against Ground types, and she’d just beaten the Grass Gym, which was one of her weaknesses!

She was exploring the road. Astrid at her side. They were walking down the road when a bush started wiggling.

“Squirtle?” Astrid said, tugging on her skirt.

“Yeah, let’s go check it out.” 

They stepped off the path and--found a very fluffy Eevee tail swishing back and forth, as it struggled in a bush. 

“Oh! You poor thing! Here, let’s get out out of there. Astrid, do you think you can pull those branches back?” 

The two of them got to work, though it took a bit of finagling to free the Eevee.

“You’re not alone, are you? Where is your owner?” she asked, stroking the Eevee’s ear. 

[enthusiasticclouds-sally]

Tea Time For Two || Demon Doll

@panicked-nights​

Sally had just finished turning off her stove to pour some tea out when the doorbell rang, which she was expecting. Immediately, the sound of barking began to echo through her home, two sets of barking now that Silas was an official new member of the family. 

The redhead left her kitchen to walk to her front door, her two pups already waiting for her there with tails wagging excitedly. They weren’t used to visitors coming over too often so they got excited when one did. 

Sally opened the door to find Panic. She gave him a warm hug and allowed her friend to enter right in.

Admittedly, Sally was still getting used to only feeling one set of emotions from Panic. It was still very strange for her to know that Percy was no longer right there with Panic. It continually threw her off some, but that was life wasn’t it? Always changing. 

“Don’t mind those two, they always get like this whenever someone comes around. You haven’t met Silas though yet, have you?” 

At the mention of his name, the dalmatian barked, making Sally laugh as she gently ran a hand through his head to give him some loving attention. “This is Silas. He doesn’t bite, promise, or well he hasn’t yet anyways.”

[attina-the-responsible]

I’ll Wash, You Dry ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-nights​

Andrina had stormed out and Attina went right back to doing the dishes, as if nothing at all had happened. Her scalp was still throbbing a bit and her cheeks were pink with fury and embarrassment, but besides that--she looked unruffled. Though, the way she was gripping the sponge gave her away. She didn’t cry, even if she kind of felt like she wanted to. The fire in her chest had evaporated any of her tears.

After a minute or so, she heard someone come into the kitchen beneath the sound of the rushing sink water.

“I don’t--” she started sharply, thinking it was one of her sisters (or, even worse, Daddy), but when she turned to see it was just Panic, she huffed a breath and went back to her scrubbing. 

“If you’re going to stand here, dry the dishes,” she commanded, handing him a dish towel without looking at him. “So we can get out of here.” 

[attina-the-responsible]

No One Puts Baby in a Corner ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-percy​

The holiday season was Attina’s favorite time of the year! Sure, mermaids didn’t celebrate seasons like Christmas, but since she had grown up on land, it was a tradition her family adopted anyway. One that Attina loved. She loved eggnog (though, she wasn’t sure how much she liked it when she was pregnant, it was kind of nauseating). She loved wrapping presents! She loved big Christmas dinners and stockings hung by the chimney with care.

But, phew! The shopping was taking it out of her this year. She was glad she had Panic-the-pack-mule with her, because if she had had to carry their haul today by herself, she probably would’ve collapsed!

As it was, she collapsed now, onto Panic’s couch, surrounded by presents. She was hiding most of them here so that someone (coughAndrinacough) wouldn’t get nosy and let things slip. Toeing her shoes off, she wiggled her feet in her fuzzy socks and rubbed at her lower back.

“Oh, it feels nice to sit down!” She was, in fact, laying down, but semantics. “Gosh, I can’t believe we’ve got at least two more rounds of that!”

[attina-the-responsible]

Taking the Plunge ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-percy

So, everyone had said yes.

Andrina (sort of), Adella (reluctantly), Arista (enthusiastically), Aquata (begrudgingly), Alana (cautiously), Ariel (emphatically), and Melody (trustingly). 

Even Daddy had said yes. 

Attina had the green light. It felt like--a veil being lifted back, like untangling from a net and being able to swim free for the first time. Her heart fluttered in her chest. She wanted to run, jump, scream. 

Instead, she kicked everyone out of the house. Well, sort of. She’d really only needed to kick Arista out--Ariel and Adella were at school, Aquata was at swim practice, Attina had cornered Daddy before his business trip to Bournemouth, so he was gone now too. 

It was just Attina, all alone in the big, big house.

Not for long, though. She had invited Panic over, in a vague text that told him it was Important and that he should come over As Soon As Possible--and then, she waited until there was a knock on the door.

Scrambling towards it from the living room, she pulled it open in record time, not even saying hello before she threw herself into Panic’s arms and kissed him, tugging him back into the house on her tip toes.

“Hello,” she said, breathless and starry-eyed when the kiss did finally break. 

[attina-the-responsible]

Too Much ~*~ [Siren]

@panicked-percy​

Attina was really glad she was drunk right now.

If she wasn’t, she’d be really embarrassed and that was not an option.

Not only had she drank too much, but she’d drank too much at what was supposed to be supporting her cousin! Attina was the worst big sister in the whole world. She was pretty sure she’d said that at some point with her head in the toilet bowl.

(Which was a whole other thing because she felt so dirty. She was really glad she was too drunk to think about that too.)

Instead, she giggled her way into the elevator, relieved of the shame spiral she’d gone on while puking into Pixie’s toilets. Adella and Melody had deposited her in Panic’s arms and she’d sobered up just enough on the car ride home to be back to her bubbly self as they made their way into the elevator and she very determinedly pushed the button for the sixth floor.

“I--am staying at yours tonight,” she declared, spinning back around to poke him in the chest, though she kind of skittered to the side a bit, still giggling as her shoulder knocked against the wall as the elevator started moving. “You’re brother’s not hoooome,” she sing-songed as her fingers crawled up the front of Panic’s shirt.

[attina-the-responsible]

Prom 2020 ~*~ [Siren]

In which we continue from prom...[June 13]

@panicked-nights

[tw -- brief discussions of child death]

ATTINA Panic pulled her out of the room and Attina didn't want it. She wanted to protest. To not make a big deal out of this. It was already too big. If she didn't get the lid back on properly now, she wasn't going to be able to shove it back in.

"It's not--it's not about talking," Attina said with a shake of her head, pulling her arm from his grip once they were outside the dance. "Let's just go back in." She looked away from him, towards the door. "I can't do this right now."

PANIC This wasn't anywhere to talk about anything but if attina would say anything PANIC wanted to hear it."Then what's it abot? Not wanting to be their for the tattoo. About something else? I don't know anymore."

ATTINA "I just don't want to talk about it, Panic! I don't want to talk about her. What's so hard to understand?" Attina burst. "It's over. I'm just--trying to move on."

PANIC "Move on? We're not moving on Tina. We're at a standstill." PANIC whispered unwilling to be heard by anyone but her. He could bare anyone else being part of this conversation.

ATTINA set her jaw. She didn’t want to talk about this. She didn’t want to think about it. Her heart was hard in her chest.

"You might not be moving on, but I am. I don’t know what you want me to do, Panic! She’s gone. There is nothing else for it. Just leave it alone. Get a tattoo if you want but don’t expect me to be there too. That’s not fair. You can’t force me."

PANIC rubbed at his face with a breath out. "You're not moving on Tina. This is not moving on. But fine I won't ask about it again. I won't mention it."

ATTINA sighed. She could fight more, she'd dig her heels in. Say that she had moved on. That she needed to move on. That moving on was all she knew how to do. Grief was not a stranger to her. She knew what she was doing here. If Panic had a different way of grieving, fine, but don't expect Attina do grieve the same way.

She didn't want to fight. This whole night had been about not fighting. Or being sad.

Eventually, she forced a little smile and reached out to grab his arm. "There," she comforted. "Let's go back in, yeah? Maybe dance...drink a little more champagne." She leaned in to kiss his cheek. "The night's still young."

PANIC ran his hands through his hair, it hadn't been like he had spent too much time on it anyway so when it floof'ed around it just didn't bother him.

He just couldn't push her. How was he supposed to know what was right or fine, Was he either of those things. He didn't want to fight the last thing he wanted to do was fight. But he didn't know what to do anymore besides agree and follow her in.

"Yeah okay."