#because i know ppl take a lot of enjoyment from this game. and i respect that

[strunglights]

last post because I actually need to take a break from all kinds of social media because the Scott/Noxcrew slander is driving me up the walls.

I've seen the statement "Build Mart is never getting removed because Scott likes it," way too many times. Scott has made it VERY CLEAR that he is involved in team making, and in very little else. he gets little say into the actual games. he literally said the only things he really does is make teams and the update video, which he is given a script for.

the fact that Scott is genuinely worried when he's on a good team or when he does good at the event because he knows he'll get hate and death threats is fucking horrendous.

again, I'll say it louder for those in the back, SCOTT IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES BUILD MART. furthermore, no one is saying that Dream and Sapnap can't complain about Build Mart. I think it does need revamping, as every game does eventually. but it's the constant harassment, whether direct or indirect, to Noxcrew and Scott over a fucking block game.

And do you know why people give Dream and Sapnap a hard time for complaining about Build Mart? it's because their fucking fan base takes it way too far and makes so many blatantly false comments about Scott and Noxcrew. in doing so, the fan base reflects badly on Dream, who will then get backlash from people who don't follow him.

the fact that so many people will die on the hill that Noxcrew hates Dream blah blah blah. toxic the lot of you. Dream has even said, for example, that if they "nerf" the funnel tactic by changing rules, it's fair of Noxcrew to do. If Dream can respect Noxcrew and the event they created, why can't other people? especially when we're not supposed to argue on Dream's behalf.

when people are so used to watching the same POVs for MCC, it's easy to be biased and to tunnel vision. for example with PKW, yes Epic landlord was being quite awful in making the game harder to prevent ppl from finishing (which btw is not only Dream, Pete has finished), and it sucks that Dreams best game was removed. But in reality, there were so many issues with PKW, so they're working on a revamp. while at face level, it might seem like targeting Dream, but if you truly try to understand the perspectives of other CCs (and I can say this because I watch at least one POV from every team every MCC so), it's not so black and white.

I need to stop. I can talk about this for ages. but yeah, in summary, pls think about what you say before you harass Scott and Noxcrew and accuse them of being biased people, when they're just trying to make an event that is enjoyable for everyone.

[cosmosrival]

there it is! kama interlude analysis by a kama fan!

WELL. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE TITLE: this is just my own thoughts!! youre free to think whatever u want !! i am just putting my own knowledge into words because i genuinely love kama, and i would like for kama’s depth to be understood by the NA fandom a little more!! i try to stay as close as possible to their character in everything i do because i believe that the more in character they are, the funnier/more interesting content ppl will produce. 

and hopefully i understood them well ???!!!! HOPEFULLY ?!

i will be screenshotting the translated reddit post under this read more and stop whenever something i find interesting to develop pops up ! or else it’ll get way too long lol if you wanna read the interlude for yourself heres the link!

with that said, let’s go!!

kama’s interlude begins with guda passing the hell out because of exhaustion and then waking up in a dream sequence where kama treats them to some relaxing adventures, stuff to take their mind off heavy things!! first dream sequence is kama roleplaying a highschool setting where they’re dating.

i like this because they openly admit that its an illusion, breaking the immersion but as long as youre okay with roleplaying, they’ll continue it LOL  at some point, caesar mentions the student council president and arjuna appears behind him 

since this is an illusion that kama made, i’ve been wondering about the fact that the way servants conduct eachother in this interlude is mostly because that’s how kama envisions they would act in a highschool setting, in an amusement park and finally with eachother (mostly for confirmed couples such as siegbryn, consort yu and her hubby etc...). suzuka and sei being gyarus is obvious, but arjuna as the student council president... is so cute???!!! i MEAN IT FITS ?! THATS A GREAT IDEA KAMA!!!! ANYWAY

this is kama’s first monologue and since they’re primarily the god of lust, all of the more vanilla stuff they mentions such as sharing a pair of headphones embarrasses them since its so tame. ITS CUTE !!! kama expects you to be horny in class !! what are you doing thinking about hand holding !!! medusa saves u from that tho with a direct reference to her relationship with kama’s vessel 

this is interesting !! and reassuring !!! i think that kama as a character has a lot of depth and just reducing them to “sakura” would be a waste and this interlude shows how different they are from her. but they’re also similar! sakura went through a lot just like medusa says and kama does have trauma related to shiva. its not the same circumstances but the same kind of suffering which explains the nuance here. and what i like about chaldea is that there’s been multiple instances where its been proven that servants can grow thanks to their relationships with guda (most common example: leveling up your bonds) BUT ALSO, saint graph evolution (alts). and as a kama fan i’d like to see them happy someday and this interlude as a whole is proof of their healing/coping because of the time they spent in chaldea and how they interact with others. more on that later ! here, they don’t recognize medusa which is normal since they’re not sakura (someone else entierly), but...

they care about her ! because of sakura’s influence being a part of the servant called Kama(assassin). the difference here is important !! but i’ll come back on this in a bit. quick mention to the greek cupid <3 kamadusa nation we were fed (i clap by myself because im the only one who has 57575757557 kama rarepairs-----)

kama is a delinquent whos horny in class but still takes a few notes, enough to do well on their tests! and thats tea<3 smart horny lazyass !! theyre a gift

SO ARJUNA WAS OUT FOR BLOOD ????? ANYWAY, this is right after the actual fight against weirdo terrorists, and im happy to know that kama DOES enjoy a good fight (as proven in their voicelines as well) but theyre not a farming unit because it’d be too much work (single target NP..)...!!!!!!! lavish god of love.... 

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYY THE REAL DEAL !!!!!!!!!!!! “it feels wonderful to be your girlfriend” christ, kamadeva was so used to being a husband and a good lover, it reflected in their servant version.... but ree what do u mean by servant version???

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS !! kama explains it very well in the screenie just above ! 

“You know very well how servants work.”

KAMA ASSASSIN (the servant in your chaldea) is neither KAMADEVA or SAKURA MATOU or MARA. they’re a MIX OF PARTS OF THE THREE. creating an entierly new person(in this case, servant) !!!! it might sound like i’m repeating myself, but this is important!!!!!!!!! i will say this multiple times so people remember it !!! and if u already had this figured out: GOOD JOB I LOVE U !!!

Kamadeva (the god) has many stories, ones where he was born from concepts (dharma and shraddha), one where his parents are brahma and sarasvati, one where his parents are vishnu and lakshmi, stories about his reincarnation after his death where his parents are krishna and rukmini, his love with Rati and so on. We all know Sakura’s backstory since this is nasuverse. And Mara is a demon, an entity that tried to corrupt Buddha and prevent him from reaching enlightenment/stray from the path. Kama assassin has parts from all of these entities which explains why they have a vague longing for Rati, why they have a soft spot for Medusa and why they have an affinity with Kiara(and also like talking about corrupting u !). 

they then mention how a japanese highschool setting is fun and all i have to say is: i’m gonna make an indo fam delinquent vs student council au out of this one folks !!!!!!!! i gotta !!! 

OK next

TIME FOR THE SECOND DREAM SEQUENCE WHICH I WAS VERY VERY VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY AFRAID OF BEFORE THE TRANSLATION CAME OUT.

THE PART WHERE KAMA ACTS LIKE YOUR CHILD.

well with their stage 1 it was expected but without the translation i have to say that i was scared shitless! because people hate thinking! and even if kama clearly tells you that it’s a charade, u know a JOKE. A DREAM SEQUENCE. DONT BE A CREEP. KAMA INTENDED FOR IT TO BE WHOLESOME. i know some ppl wont use their brains. but u know its fgo and degenerates are everywhere. 

anyways. family bonding time ensues until another monologue appears!!

exactly like before, kama mentions myths that belonged to kamadeva. Meaning that the Kama in our chaldea isn’t the Kamadeva we know and is not Pradyumna either but the fact that the writers chose to have kama acknowledge it is very reassuring !!! Because it means that they’ve chosen to make it a part of their (complicated) history. Kama says that Pradyumna is the myth about themself they know the least, once again proving us that the Kama in our Chaldea (Assassin) is a different entity and that they were summoned to the throne upon their death, the moment they were burned by Shiva’s flames and became Ananga, in any case they’re still familiar with all of their own myths. it allows us to keep heroic spirits separate from their original myths. Obviously! And in the case of pseudo-servants, it allows us to keep them separate from their vessels. Cuz this is a fanservice japanese game. Andddd the fandom likes forgetting this fact quite a lot i’ve noticed. As a person who loves thinking about tons and tons of headcanons for fun, this allows us a lot of space ! Because this is fate/grand order at its base. Nasuverse. 

I’m glad that the interlude explains it so clearly, it’s very good !! Because the majority of myths from every culture are confusing, family trees are confusing, names are confusing, powers and attributes are confusing... its a mess !!!! the fgo characters we know are just cut from their own respective timelines/historial figures so the writers can organize themselves more easily. Like cutting halves from a big cake. Kama (Assassin) is the Kama that died from Shiva’s flames and became the universe ONLY. In Nasuverse, Arthur Pendragon is a woman. Anastasia Romanov NEVER had a demon familiar named Viy in real life despite the creature being part of russian folklore. u know ! im russian i can testify dude !! 

hopefully everyone got this bc i wont be explaining this any further dude, its exhausting !!!!!! bangs my hands on the table !!!!! 

ANYWAYS kama mentions “eternal pain that turns [them] into ash” being their key element. Their trauma is at the center of their heroic spirit self, what they are as a servant. This suffering is tied to everything they do, why they’re so lazy, why they’re so lax, why they’re so detached from their job.  But they’re not detached from their role. And “job” and “role” have different connotations here. They refuse to work as a cupid because of obvious reasons. BUT. They’re not detached from their role as the God of Love, as the God of Passion. The embodiment of those feelings. This whole interlude is proof ! They’re giving u free therapy because they Love you. Passion. They feel your love. Passion. They acknowledge how much fun you’re having. How passionate you are about certain things. They might seem extremely detached and hateful, but they aren’t. They’re one of the most empathetic servants there is. And their ability to love everything, even the things they hate is what makes them so miserable. Because it’s a part of them. Because the concept of Kama in hinduism is linked to them. Be it lust or simply the passion born from anything you do where you’re enjoying yourself. (quote:  “ the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature “. R. Prasad (2008), History of Science, Philosophy and Culture in Indian Civilization )

... I’d like to say that this contrast with Mara is interesting. And that i’m glad the writers chose to add in Mara to the kama assassin Beast mix. 

Because the anger Mara feels can become a drivepoint for Kama. I’ve always believed that anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, it’d explain how layered Kama is and how valid their emotions are. Constantly torn between love and hate. An eternal grudge (i don’t deserve to be hurt like this) and an eternal misery(maybe i do deserve to be hurt like this). 

i wish they were my roommate <3 oh fuck ree got emotional wait where were we.

OH YEAH

i think kama saying that they dislike being involved with other indian servants because theyre linked to shiva is a feeble attempt at trying to keep up a strong front because they still love them in the end. cuz that’s how kama is ! after a while they’ll get bored of bullying ganesha and ashwatthama. they’ll get interested in rama because their respective mythos are linked even if their servant selves have no connection. hell, at the end of the interlude they talk about parvati and how they themself changed and realized things. BUT OH WELL, THATS STUFF FOR ANOTHER POST HEHE thats just ree wanting kama to b happy yall move along !!

.....THIS ISNT A COLLEGE STUDENTS ROLEPLAY BUT ITS A CUTE JAPANESE COMPANY BOSS/UNDERLING SETTING AND ITS CUTE SO I THINK KAMA WEARING A PENCIL SKIRT AND POURING U ALCOHOL IS CUTE. CUTE.

further proof of kama’s overflowing affection and what i detailed above!! hopefully u all knew this one simply from reading this interlude/their profile page and dont need me to write it down for u. HOPEFULLY !!!!!

(I START BEATBOXING VERY RAPIDLY AND RUNNING TOWARDS YOU) KAMA IS A SADIST AT THEIR CORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re easy to fluster because theyre not used to being so vanilla, but whats underneath is how they truly are !! a beast turned servant, the sweetest sadist !! theyre very mature and this interlude is so well written (wipes my teears

this is directly linked to what i explained above, by burning you away, you’ll melt into nothingness just like they did. When they were the universe, they felt both everything and nothing. 

But was it really relief ... ?

... IT WASNT.

AND PARVATI SAVES THE DAY !!!!!!! phew!! thank u paru, it’d still like to be able to touch kama’s huge titties and i cant do that if i turn into ashes (falls down the stairs

ok she summoned lovey dovey canon couples to annoy kama since they’re exhausted of seein them!!

...............(I TAKE OUT A KNIFE) TAKE THAT BACK. DONT TALK TO THEM LIKE THAT. TAKE THAT BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ohhhhhh im obsessed i love when theyre angry<3 i love when theyre fighty <3 i think they should beat the living shit out of a boxing bag DAILY to let out some of this steam. they’d be a monster on the ring... aaa kama in training boot y shorts aa a .. .uughg hg ouu... (you all shove me into a locker)

ok this is interesting !! i think that the interlude showing us that parvati feels a semblance of guilt is character dev. proof for what i mentioned before!! in ookuu parvati felt quite ..unsympathetic to me, even if kama is a beast who wants to annihilate humanity, when u think about it, at their core their grudge is because of her and shiva’s betrayal. and here, she properly apologizes for making kama so upset. this is heartwarming to me since i dislike thinking that members of the indo fam hate eachother :( same goes for arjuna and karna, at some point i’d like for them to act like bros normally and finally be comfy. but anyways !!

u wake up from the dreams and da vinci, mashu and paru are here to tell u whats going on. But its fine bc u remember everything and u have to go thank someone for helping u out!!!

CUTE !!!!!!! THEY CARE ABOUT U !!!!!! but whether it be because of their role or because theres a deeper meaning is entierly up to your own interpretation because...

of what they say here. 

and here !! 

ohhhhhhhhh this is so important !!!!!!

this is actual proof of kama’s growth as a servant and how servants evolve in chaldea !! chaldea is not the same as a grail war, its a special, cut-off place and thats what makes it even more relaxing to think about. Everytime u summon a servant in ur chaldea u give them a chance to have fun with you, to have fun with other servants, to make amends, to start from scratch, to discover things they would’ve never known in their time (movies, video games, tons of different foods etc...), u give them a chance to relax. to grow !! this is the headcanon that im most attached to and im glad to see it be confirmed in the interlude of a character i love tbqh i had to stop and talk about that.

everyone say thank u kama !! can we roleplay a college roommate coffee shop slowburn au next time <3 

ANYWAYS if you’ve read it this far: thank you !!! im sorry if you expected something very serious, im not that type of person hehe im jus here to have fun and look at things i like, and the interlude itself was quite lighthearted and refreshing. By talking about the myths and all of kamadeva’s stories, the writers basically gave lore nerds a huge thumbs up like... “its ok now !! u can go ape now !! go be insane<3 love u<3″ and all of this kama characterization GENUINELY makes me so happy because i think they really needed that. kama assassin... (i blow a kiss to the sky) is a little mess of a servant... a god, human crumbs and a demon... a total mess... im in love with them...

..............tho now the wait for a summer alt where they interact with the entire indo fam begins (im sitting in a chair unmoving)(i have a gun in case minase begins acting gross

[oakmd]

Congratulations ! You received 1,000+ followers !

Continue? ▶YES ▷NO

 Well, I can’t really express anything but amazement at such an accomplishment, and to be honest I’m pretty blown away that so many of you have stuck with me since the beginning of this blog, and that so many of you enjoy Professor Oak enough to stay. I’ll forever stand by the fact that this blog was the best 'joke’ I ever made, and probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve actively kept at. 

As much as I hope this blog has helped you find comfort and laughter, RPing Professor Oak has definitely changed me for the better, as well. It has given me an outlet to heal parts of myself and provide help to others, and also pushed me to practice positivity even when I know I get so low sometimes that I don’t even want to try. Another bonus is that I have met wonderful people here, most of you just strictly friends on the dash, but I’ve also gained relationships with people that have extended into discord and I’m sure it has made all the difference this past year and a half. 

As usual, I’m not really a fan of long-winded gushes of emotion, so I’ll keep it short, but I would really like to have it be known that my love for Professor Oak has grown tremendously, in ways I would have never reached without taking the time to thoughtfully craft his backstory and work to develop him further. I know he’s a very nostalgic character that so many of us know and respect that I’m always very careful of how I choose to build on the image without ruining what’s already there.  Out of all my many muses here, this one has seemingly ( and surprisingly ) all at once snuck its way as my primary blog; the blog I always look forward to logging into the most, where I enjoy following your activity whether it be IC or OOC, and just generally enjoy being in the presence of people so passionate about a fandom associated with my childhood. I love this little corner of a community that has welcomed me and engaged with me and unknowingly kept me going, and to look back at my experience and see that I’ve had no trouble at all makes me feel really lucky.

There will never be a way to fully and accurately express my thanks, but I will say it anyway: thank you so much, and I hope that no matter where you go, and no matter what you do, you are trying to be your best, and that you’re happy. Professor Oak will always be there to congratulate you when you reach your dreams.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ( because my mind is so scattered - ) special shout outs to special people: 

@timecapscle - wasn’t it you that said i’d one day get 1,000 followers? : ) you’ve literally supported me since the beginning and i just wanna say that i appreciate your enthusiasm for professor oak as much as i appreciate your enthusiasm for bill. its wonderful to see someone represent an otherwise under represented character and you do it well. i care for you so much, and wish nothing but good things for your future even if you want to do bad things in the name of science

@diligentseeker / @evolutionexpert  - someone i consider a cherished friend, despite how sporadic our interaction seems, i appreciate all our random long talks on discord, and i’ll never forget our very first conversation. it meant a lot to me, and i want to thank you. i dont meet a lot of ppl that i feel ‘get’ me on some unspoken level, so when it happens, its a nice surprise. anyway i won’t ramble because i take it you’re not one for praise, but im glad people like you exist. with that being said please stop making professor elm stress me out.

@undinaes - the moment you’ve been waiting for. SIKE! just kidding; its no surprise that you’re always filling my dash with testimonials from people that see you for what you are. you’re a beam of sunshine with all the qualities to match; warm, bright, and a natural source of energy that brings people together. your passion for writing is astounding and even when ppl dont deserve your kindness, you’re unbiased in giving it out. truly a mom through and through. but most importantly, ur my girlie and im glad we met :v

@ofpalletown - in my mind, you are practically ash, and ill be here to support you even during all your moments of Extra™ ... but aside from that you’re very loyal to your friends and full of something sunny that i can’t describe. ur gonna be okay, kid. so pls stop stressing out ur dear prof oak 

@03redd - i probably mentioned not long ago that your blog is really good, but ill say it again in case you weren’t listening. i love your blog? its very fun to follow, and i think you’re one of my favorite reds. even with me not being game verse, its so easy to just immerse myself in whatever nonsense you have red drag professor oak into. i dig your creative energy. 

@normaliium - and ofc i cant leave out my cousin. the one to be admired, the ever-successful, brilliant human being that loves me even when i take off ten years of your life each night. my life would lack such substance without you, and i will never forget all you’ve done to help me when i would otherwise be left to myself. you make me really proud to know you, you really do, and everyone i ever talk to you about can attest to that. #YOLO

@bossgiovanni - you haven’t been active in forever, but you remain one of my friends and that’s all that matters. from skype to discord, im glad we could stick together even with our blatant differences in opinion. you are always so nice to me and say the kindest things, and i just wanna say thanks. hope youve been doing well! you are capable of so much, and i believe in you, so don’t forget that. 

@agentmansley - can i jsut say thank you for staying true to your muse and throwing even the purest of characters into your mess? i have loved your blog long before i made professor oak, and you’re seriously one of the funnest people i’ve rp’d with here. everything i’ve written with you is refreshing and new, and never fails to make me laugh. thank you for your love for kent, and also for writing with me. i know you’ve been MIA for a while, but you’re definitely a memorable person. 

@tcssaiga - i dont have a lot of cross-fandom interactions so when they happen im usually pleased. you’ve got great characterization, and have perfect dialogue. i never watched a whole lot of inuyasha but i’ve atched enough to know that you’re pretty close to canon. thanks for the interactions even if you’re mean to prof oak on archer ; (

@askgarymfoak - MY LITTLE ACORN!!!! the dedication you have for gary honestly gives me so much life, and i love rping with you on discord and just yelling about sam / gary hcs. its always a highlight of my day and i can tell you’ve thought about gary and his life long and hard, and its so cool to see someone interested in all that makes him the Headache we all recognize and love. please never stop sharing with me the personal hcs you have for the boy, i always want to hear them. 

@futureheld - we don’t even rp with each other on this muse BUT youre one of my longest tumblr rp friends that i still talk to and you’re really important to me. we have history, we go back!!!! okay? #FRIENDSHIP n all that. but tbh id follow you on any muse because your writing is just great? id write any weird crossover with you because you have a talent for making it work seamlessly anyway. thanks 4 the memories, loser. 

@seviiserver - CELIO!!! we dont talk as much as we used to, or rather, we talk in bursts every now and then but i consider you one of my good friends! not only are u really talented in all things artistic, but i love your writing and it’s always enjoyable to read, even if its not one of our threads together. you made me have so much adoration for celio and like all the other ppl ive met who bring life to underrated / under-rp’d muses, i enjoy seeing everything you pour into him... AND ALSO I LOVE OUR OAK / ROWAN INTERACTIONS? i love them so much it hurts okay. even if its just silliness in discord it brightens my day. anyway perhaps one day we will cross paths in this sleepless city and i will finally teach u how to ride a bike.

@rottenrhythms - i know i dont have much to say or comment with whenever you message me on discord, but i admire how much detail you put into your characters and meta. im always impressed with all the work and thought you put into your world-building; i wish i had that much drive. also, you’ve made a lot of improvement with yourself from the time i first started talking to you on skype. be proud of your progress, and keep working at it, it’s worth it in the long run!

@lack--two NATE youre definitely a very sweet person, and perhaps a little more devious ooc than i’d imagined you would be ( at least to me, why must you poke me for reactions? ; ( u wound me ) but you’re a soothing presence to be around and im glad you were finally able to make discord work. bonus points for letting me yell about yugioh all the time. never stop being wonderful. im here for you whenever you might need a listening ear, okay? 

@loyalpika / @palletbloomer - #PRIKA!!! ever since i first followed you i remembered being blown away by your extensive headcanons on pikachu and i genuinely enjoy every blog you make! we dont talk OOC but from all your ooc posts you seem like a very caring older sister and thats nice to see; with you running around all the time, i hope you do get some rest every now and then! i hope our camaraderie never falters, take care friend! 

@thepkmnnurse - i cant forget all the love and support both you and your muse have for professor oak, and im happy you try to spread positivity on the dash whenever you can! we don’t talk much OOC but from what i can tell you’re just as kind and nurturing as nurse joy herself. i hope you’ve been taking it easy wherever you are, and i hope your days are bright!

@rebelracket - will there ever be a day that i dont enjoy seeing your delinquent muse causing havoc on the dash? your creativity is wonderful to witness and i enjoy clarissa so much, thank you for interacting with a pure ol’ muse like mine. i hope we can continue to keep writing together, im excited at where we might end up. p.s. your art is delightful.

@porttownprince - you’re a gentle presence on my dash but im glad that youre here and that you’ve stuck around despite all the bad things that followed you. i hope you can overcome all the trauma you’ve been through. thank you for being kind with me!

@nikkouki - i know i dont say much but i enjoy your random check ins with me on discord, and i think youre a sweet young girl. you’re gonna go far in life, just make sure you keep going! continue being a precious kiddo and don’t forget to study your japanese ; (

@viciousvainglory & @midoriyamight - i cant think of one without the other so accept this double-tag lol. you’ve both supported this blog since the beginning and i wont forget how welcome you made me feel! no matter what blogs you’re on im glad we can still be friends! you deserve the big toblerone! 

@fateandfury - my long time writing parter without knowing we were long time writing partners! the work you put into professor juniper is something to behold! we haven’t seemed to interact much despite rping professor muses, but that doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate your take on such a muse!

OTHER BLOGS TO BE ADMIRED ( also in no particular oder) : @sterlingsilverchampion @starmarkcd @pxgtails @satanstories @champofpallet @golden-oak @spriggaens @nurturen @florenselite @craniumaniac @ask-guzma @tenderpoison @gocatchem @faemoria @hikaup@writtenbykaichu @executiveariana @honoxtokage @simikami @bigcalavera @rotorotom @thehopcful @and-they-succeeded @metalprincess13 @keep-those-memories-away @hisvanity @attitxde @asmayflies @sesshcmaru @theagentlooker @ambcrly @kantocowboy @dauphindekalos @beareroftheblueorb @blastingxff @aquaelegance @bugeyesboutique @make-it-trouble  @thunderstonereject  @theagentlooker @soultattered @scvedbylove  @diluviumx @inevitabilis-sors @pokedouche @fightiniumz @firespun

I’M SO SORRY IF I MISSED PEOPLE, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR SOMEONE SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MEMORY-FOGGED AS ME. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT INCLUDED AND EVEN IF WE’RE NOT MUTUALS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS BLOG. WITHOUT ANY OF YOU I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GIVEAWAY!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[entactagn]

i love robbery and fraud

are we asking for normativity when we ask for freedom from the burden and vulnerability of ascribed fraudulence? a realist answer is no — we’re asking for undetectability, or at least not punitive detection — we’re asking for mobility unconstricted by norms that sort people out into real and fake —

maybe another genre of answer is possible — Joanne the scammer isn’t trans (I guess) — she’s a character played by a cis guy, as far as I know —

yet her indulgence in messy femininity isn’t outside transfeminine repertoires either — it’s a send-up of white femininity, specifically, but hyperbolic, slant — not a familiar type of white femininity at the moment bc now such a character would easily fall into law-abiding overcompensation (by which i mean: racist harassment dressed up as overzealous law-enforcing fragility)— which now in CA is gonna be illegal because of the CAREN act — abuse of the first-responder system / policing — itself hyperbolic, an inflation of danger around racialized strangers perceived as intruders — and an inversion bc the danger actually comes from calling the police

Joanne the scammer revels in criminality — she loves robbery and fraud — she’s a messy bitch who lives for drama — she lives for pretense and for the visibility of her pretense — all this can be dismissed as make-believe: it doesn’t map onto the lived reality of transfeminine or trans ppl more generally, the violent, for some lethal dispossession of claims on dignity / respect / recognition as valid members of a sex not assigned at birth — but she solicits a non-realist response. to this address : “hey girl, I just wanted to let you girls know” — her addressee is singular and plural at the same time -- it’s someone and anyone, an adversary and a general feminine surround

Joanne the scammer may figure another way of inhabiting trans femininity — not one that has anything to do with realist genres or the double bind laid out here — where artifice becomes hypervisible and a source of perverse enjoyment — her eyebrows arch, her hair flips, her lips curl and smirk — i’m not saying that trans ppl are too serious about their genders because they aren’t — it takes a lot of difficult, humiliating, and precarious work to dismantle the coercive-dissociative habitus of assigned sex — maybe though w Joanne we come closer to somebody like Andrea Long Chu: sex as commitment to a bit — pussy envy — minor nastiness and bitchiness and overstatement— diffusion or involution of phallic libido into polymorphous deviance

maybe Grace Lavery will talk about this in the Silence of the Lambs thing she’s writing?  but in any case i guess that would be an instance where “the reveal” happens (but not in the same way as eg The Crying Game) — here the reveal is not “surprise the person you thought was a beautiful woman is a hideous fraud” -- it’s the revelation of self-display, the shocking abjection / depravity of tucking your cock between your thighs (quelle horreur !) — as people have pointed out, though, that moment is still beautiful and hot — not simply damaging i.e. the damage isn’t simple — cf. Jennifer Nash — archival complications of this sort of pleasure, which is meant to demean and disgust, proliferating thru its afterlives as an icon of a certain kind of otherwise impossible (for Steinbock “invisible”) desire — misrecognizing yourself in a degraded pretense can be necessary and exciting and enabling

[tayegi]

THE NEW CHAPTER FOR NEW RULES HAS ME SHOOK Idk if its my hormones acting up or something but boi i cried when jimin brought up his confession note

Anonymous said:I'm so upset and shocked, I get that Jimin doesn't like OC anymore but he deserves to know how snakey and shady Mijoo is. It's just wrong. I'm so sad :(

Anonymous said:is it weird that ive actually cried over pt2 of new rules? i was so mad !!! i definitely wouldn't have be able to contain myself and id lash out omg i hate betrayal so much!!! i sorry im just so emotional right now! i hope all of this is for the best and props to oc for being so level-headed and mature about this whole thing!! and ofc thank you for writing it ♥️

luxinfired said:Hey Lu! I enjoyed New Rules 2 even though my heart broke for the OC 😭 I liked the turn of events, but wow Mijoo... I didn't expect that, from her and hopefully she isn't just evil, I hope there's more than meets the eye about her. As usual, great work! Your OCs are so richly portrayed, I love that :)

Anonymous said:I read new rules and i honestly haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. Part 2 really has me in my feelings.. i feel pretty similar to oc.. i wouldn't want to hurt my precious friend but my heart hurts thinking about not being able to tell the truth to anyone (except for jk i guess lol) i hope they can resolve their feelings and still be friends and i hope jimin knows that oc really did love him.. but anyways i loved it thank u so much for writing! 💓

Anonymous said:holy shit lu new rules chapter 2 fucked me up i did nOT SeE THAT ONE COMING I love your writing omg that one hit me like a truck... but.... poor oc

Anonymous said:new rules ch2 fucked me up, lu why are you doing this to me??????

Anonymous said:(spoiler just in case) i think tumblr cancelled my message, but seriously i almost punched myself over OC's friend like who even does that? I thought OC would've confessed at the point where Jimin revealed that, but I understand her decision. I feel her sadness as if my own T.T

artblocks said:UGH LU THAT UPDATE IS MAKING ME CRY!! I feel so sad that OC didn't get to be with Jimin (it is a Jungkook fanfic after all but still!!) ... like I wish she told him that she didn't receive anything ;-; I hope OC will be happier in the future updates! Ugh I get too immersed in your writing T-T great job Lu

Anonymous said:I hurt my own feelings reading new rules but I loved every angsty second of it! I just love how much character and depth you give each oc it's so enjoyable to read. I hope you're doing well too be happy and healthy!

curiosityuponus said:I teared up with the new NR chapter. I mean, how fucking low and disgusting from Mijoo. While the main char swallowed her feelings to not hurt her, she sabotages any way to get into Jimin's pants. I soooo want her to break off that toxic friendship and take Jimin back. Oh god, I'll be screeching in happiness. Poor JK tho, but no hard feelings when there's none in the beginning haha. I want Mijoo sad and alone❤ Anyways, whatever you'll do with the story I'll like so🙆 Can't wait for next chap!

Anonymous said:fuck. I cried so hard reading New Rules Chapter 2 and I was so angry, screaming and shouting. You got me fucked up, Lu. I can only hope this shit never happens to me. But honestly tho - imo, the OC needs to cut off Mijoo. Like what kind of friend is she? Backstabbing bitch. It's toxic. I can't handle that toxicity and would cut that shit out. Once is enough to show the true character of a person. And I want to hug and cry with the OC so badly. I'm really sad. My heart is breaking with hers.

Anonymous said:The OC didn't deserve that my heart broke. Like wow how can people be so selfish and this is just writing. You are just so good. Wow.

Anonymous said:omg...i feel so bad for the oc...jimin liked her back but she didn't get to have a happy ending with him bc of mijoo 😢 ahhh the oc handled it so sweetly :(

Anonymous said:New Rules made me cry so much... My mother looked quite worried when she walked in and saw me sobbing. In addition, I just can't help but despise Mijee for not giving Y/N Jimin's note!!! :(

Anonymous said:🎶Quit playing games with my heart🎶😭

Anonymous said:god that update for new rules made me so sad :( i'm surprised at how the oc dealt with confronting mijoo and forgiving her, but it makes me love her so much more as well (heavens know what i'd do with the temper that i have). now i just want to give oc a hug, some pints of high quality ice cream, and tell her how beautiful she is inside and out

Anonymous said:+++ (I didn't add the pluses before but I'm the anon talking about the seat of someone's pants metaphor.) I kinda wish that the OC had raged at Mijoo or something like that, simply because unleashing anger is cathartic and it pains me to think of her holding all of those emotions in a pent up place, but the way she handled things was the most mature way, so I respect her so much. This series is probably my favorite ever because it's so relatable and so in touch with +++

doubletroublesince1994 said:OMG I CANT BELIEVE YOU MADE ME CRY WITH THE SECOND CHAPTER MIJOO IS SUCH A BITCH AND THE MAIN GIRL IS TOO NICE AND JIMIN DESERVES TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED BECAUSE ITS NOT FAIR OMG THIS IS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO HANDLE

ahhh it’s amazing how many ppl i’ve made sad or cry with this chapter :( can you believe that when I first started this series out, I didnt expect there to be any angst? i thought it would all be crack smut comedy fluff. aksdfjkl what is wrong with me...? :”) 

sorry guys. i think im on my period and i just have a lot of pent up feelings haha. Thank u for being sad with me D: 

[myperspectiv3]

July 3, 2017

Phew; rent, water, loans, and other misc things are due. Ah well, its life. I spent time with my family this weekend. I also did something I’d NEVER said I’d ever do in Richmond. I had a blast at a this bar I was convinced to go to. It was quite entertaining to say the least 😂. I’m glad I tried something new. I ate some good food at home and caught up with my nephew. He is extremely intelligent and has an awesome personality. It’s like he’s been here before. He defintely picked up my spirits. I came back to MD last night. Isolated feelings quickly consumed me. Luckily, someone wanted to actually spend some time with me today. In fact, that was the highlight of my day. We’ve hung out a few times since April actually. The second hang out session was a bit rocky but this third session was enjoyable. Hmmm, idk we’ll see how this pans out. I typically get kicked to the curb with out any notice 😂 (sad but true 😔). At least we have a lot in common, which is mostly food and going places. Speaking of kicked to the curb, the group of friends or I guess associates are definitely keeping me out of the loop. In fact, I think its a personal issue with one person who is sort of the “organizer” of this group of ppl and makes the others “fall in line”. Ive definitely attended a few things I was invited to like bars, game nights, and I was even the designated driver on a few occasions. I said no to a few out of town events I was invited to attend with the group for several days recently because I wasn’t trying to take a trip with this group of 5 ppl and share one, yes ONE hotel room. PLUS, I barely know y'all. 3-4 days with a group of ppl really doesn’t work with my personality. I’ve tried it before. I told them this and I guess its personal because I haven’t been invited to anything since. Who does that? Was I out of line? I’d respect someone’s space and just keep in mind that they’d rather hang out for daily things. It pissed me off but I realized they arent my friends anyway. I’ve been working out with 1-2 of them from the group and they’ve been telling how they’ve been doing a few things in the area and I’m not invited due to my responses. That’s so fucking childish to me, I should just cut them off completely. I didnt know anyone here so it was nice to have ppl to hang with and go places but if someone purposely excludes you, I don’t see that as someone worth investing your time with. I guess ill be friendless and I’m okay with that. Idk I just find it hard to trust people. I typically let my guard down to the point where I depend on the interactions of people in order to enjoy certain things and I’m learning that’s the wrong thing to do, as I’m sitting on this metaphorical curb I’ve been kicked to all my life…

[getdownsaturdaynight]

So! I’ve been trying to organize my thoughts about YTTD for several days now. It’s a game some friends & mutuals of mine really enjoy, so I feel kinda mean getting this negative about it, but... man. I hate this game’s writing. 

Some spoilers (but no ending/death spoilers) below.

Chapter 1 is an imperfect but incredibly ambitious game. The ZE-style puzzles, especially the mirror room and the roulette game, are well-constructed. I had to do some complete guesswork in the first Main Game, but it’s nothing worse than the hail mary passes I’d have to do in Danganronpa or Ace Attorney. I could nitpick several elements of the story, but the overall narrative works, and most of the twists (especially the ones involving Kai) are tight and set up well. 

Then, we get to Chapter 2.

I had high hopes, because the introduction scene with Kai is absolutely adorable, but then... new characters, new mechanics, and new arbitrary forms of torture just get thrown at the cast and the player. While the minigames (especially the dancing one) are mostly fun, and have some wonderful failure animations, they simply can’t make up for the story.

I’ll start with the best element first, and that’s Reko. The arc about Reko’s former band is probably the side story that gets the most cohesive resolution out of anyone’s in the cast (even if it’s not a happy one). I have my biases - aggressive rocker chick with a heart of gold is my jam, look at how much I worship Phi! - but Reko really gets her moments in 2-1, and that flashback at the beginning of 2-2 is legit the most emotional I’ve been while playing. Alice, too, is a real star of this chapter, going from being one of my least faves in Chapter 1 to a fave by the end.

Other than some incredibly cute Gin moments, and some welcome development with Nao in 2-1 and Keiji in 2-2...  that’s where the positives end.

Pacing is an issue that plagues this whole chapter. Chapter 1 had this hurried element to it, where even though you weren’t on a physical timer, it really felt like the cast’s stress and despair were building at an exponential rate. In Chapter 2... spreading out the plot over several days (most likely to accommodate the minigames and negotiation phases) removes so much of the immediate danger. Nankidai could have done something with that waiting period, maybe a little more existential horror, but all we really get are some bloody hallucinations, and the impact quickly wears off after the first one. Especially when you know you can “fix” them with a machine.

I thought Mary was one of the weakest elements in Chapter 1, but I’d gladly take her back over the floor masters in Chapter 2, all of whom feel like they came straight out of Villain Stereotypes 101, no matter how cool their designs are. And it’s one thing for them to alternately support and abuse the players, but when they start turning on each other... it’s like, okay?? Thanks for reinforcing the arbitrary nature of this game? It still doesn’t make things good? If anything, it just cheapens the deaths of the actual players even more.

And I know some people really like “Sou”’s story, but it’s like... it ain’t for me. There’s too many nonsensical moments. When he gets his “amnesia”, why does everyone trust Kanna to take care of him? Once Sara finds out he’s lying, there’s this cool moment where you think he’s going to emotionally blackmail her and only her, which could have some nice tension - and yet less than five minutes later, Keiji and Q-Taro have called him out and he’s gone back to being the most obvious asshole he can be. And then he gets a few sympathetic moments, some more blackmail, and the world’s shortest redemption arc, and none of it works. I went through the Main Game in 2-2 just wanting it to end (and I can’t really get much more into the rest of 2-2 without spoiling everything).

But I think the best way to talk about this game is via its two youngest characters, Kanna and Gin. Let’s start with Kanna: she’s pretty much a cosmic chew toy, totally fucked up since the very beginning of the game. For someone so vital to the plot, she doesn’t get much development outside of her relationships with her sister, or Sou, or Sara - there’s very little on who she is as a person, or what makes her unique. That makes it fairly hard to invest in her, even as she’s delivering what are supposed to be very powerful, emotional lines. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one thinking this, since she gets among the least fandom content out of any of the cast. Maybe she’ll get more development in a hypothetical Chapter 3, but... who knows?

Then there’s Gin. I think we can all agree Gin is wonderful. His speech pattern, woof, it’s incredible, meow. I certainly went out of my way to make sure big sis Sara was looking after him in every available negotiation segment. But he’s got the opposite problem to Kanna - I don’t want to see anything bad happen to this kid. Nankidai knows this, which is why he continues to specifically put Gin in death traps for him to be rescued before he suffers any physical damage, and it’s like... stooooppppp. Stop!! If you keep going back to the well with this almost-torturing Gin, it’s gonna lose its impact, because he’ll soon be not much more than a continually kicked puppy. He deserves better. He deserves a lot better. 

Everyone in the cast deserves better.

Nankidai should be commended for pushing RPG Maker to its absolute limits as an engine, and YTTD is one of the most impressive solo-creator games I’ve ever played. But impressive doesn’t equal good. And several beautiful coats of paint can’t save an atrocious plot.

-

P.S. Unrelated to the above rant, but as I was writing and editing this over the course of a few days, I saw that one of the main ships in the fandom is Sara & Keiji and WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK