#because if he hadn't noticed I'd have pulled through with my plan to unalive myself for real | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

there-will-be-a-way · 9 months

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This 👌🏻 close to becoming homeless in the future. Because if I go to the rehab clinic, I'll likely lose my spot in the living group (they don't get money for people who aren't there and I'll be gone for 3 to 4 months so 🤷🏻‍♂️). But I need to go to the clinic in order to get my shit together because if I keep drinking in the living group, they'll kick me out sooner or later. A guy at my ward is in a similar position. It's scary how many people here are homeless. That's where addiction takes you, huh.

I tell myself I won't be one of them, but I also told myself I'd never end up as an alcoholic soooo. Shit. Where to go from here? I genuinely don't know. My life has never been this fucked before.

#personal posts #psych ward blogging #one of the nurses saved my life by noticing something was wrong with me #on the day I was discharged #because if he hadn't noticed I'd have pulled through with my plan to unalive myself for real #now I'm still here #and they'll likely keep me until the 15th of September (when I move back to the living group)#oh man #I've never been this lost before #the metaphorical water I might drown in is right up to my chin and I fluctate between apathy and naked cold fear #tw suicidal ideation #tw addiction #*was supposed to be discharged #also #my roommate keeps staring at me while I sleep #woke up at 6am today to her sitting upright in her bed and watching me #like what the fuck

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