#because it's both making me /want/ to go through umineko and think about lambda 24/7
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help me i am fixating on lambdadelta so bad and i don’t know what to do ;~;
#ooc#i have not read umineko. ''then why are you fixating on her'' you say??#because i do not choose the fixation. It Chooses Me.#afjkddgkjdf jokes aside my specific brand of neurodivergency is a nightmare here#because it's both making me /want/ to go through umineko and think about lambda 24/7#but also making me almost entirely incapable of actually doing that#so i suffer.................#the other problem is that every time i take a break from umi after the miracle occasions i manage to actually get through some#when i come back; i've forgotten everything that came before. whoops.#i also do feel guilty/like a little bit of a ''bad fan'' because i don't really try and solve the mysteries in mystery stories.#mostly because i have zero belief in my own intelligence and i feel too stupid to figure everything out most of the time#i heard ryukishi explicitly calls out and mocks those kinds of fans in umineko too........ ouch......................................... :')#<- i still love him though c:#basically the struggle is real; and please talk to me about lambda#cause while i doubt it'll solve my executive dysfunction; it might still be fun afdskjhdjkgd
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