#been a rough few weeks physically and mentally but i'm back bitches

[kennabeth]

as someone who's seen both the x files and read the inkheart series do you also see a similarity between mulder and mo??? both of them have someone disappear in their lives and seem to perpetually victimize themselves because of it. also hot headed and kind of rash and self righteous. just realized this myself

congrats on sending my absolute favorite ask i've ever received omg

i 500% see exactly what you mean--i've been thinking about this the past few days and there are so many examples i think of mo's mulder-esque rashness but when basta says he's going to start maiming meggie in inkheart to make mo read and mo doesn't even change his expression or say anything and just pitches the mug of boiling water at basta's head has GOT to be something mulder actually did in the show. has to be.

idk if you're familiar with the absolute funniest txf post on the entire internet ("ever heard of the knife alien") but the energy coming off of that is the exactly how it feels when mo tries to explain how the reading thing works.

person: "there's no way that person over there is a book character you brought to life. that's just ridiculous"

mortimer: "ever heard of fucking magic"

and resa as samantha?? i could spend Y E A R S thinking on what that says about her since we never find out what happened for sure to samantha and honestly get to decide which of the possible options we like best.. which is so in-theme with inkheart in general i want to weep. samantha's story is always told FOR her and she never got the chance to have any agency in it which. whew. is so exactly what resa was furious about in inkdeath (how the inkworld is a world for men but she will not stand by and let them tell her story for her yk!!). even before we find out in inkheart that resa is alive and well (well. not really) there's so much speculation about where she could be, why she would have left (from the people who don't know she got sucked into the book), what she's like now that i refuse to believe cornelia didn't watch the sht out of txf and internalize it even by accident. ain't no way.

detour over--mo and mulder both just. THRIVE on being the designated Sad Boy in the room. mulder does because he's an attention whore but i think it's the only way mo feels validated in a grief he can never fully explain to people for fear of looking like he believes bigfoot came from the fucking moon. he certainly doesn't have peers he confides in even in a casual, non-magic-related capacity (all of the folcharts being such crippling loners is kind of funny; someone remind me to come back to that one day) so he needs everyone he comes into contact with to acknowledge his pain without letting them actually know him. so he--for lack of a better term--acts out and gets himself into the dumbest possible situations. always tells stories like he's the only one affected by whatever happened (unless the other possible victims are resa or meggie ofc) (and this isn't rabid dustfinger-stan!kenna talking, i'm thinking about the lack of empathy for fenoglio's grandchildren being traumatized, the dismissive "wow that sucks" when strolling players were killed because of him (although maybe we can argue he just didn't feel like meggie needed to hear that idk)).

all that's up until inkdeath which is so obviously and magnificently his book. his rise above victimhood to become the avenging angel fenoglio thought he was casting as cosimo is so gorgeously written i feel like i should send cornelia $50 for rereading privileges. and that's where he and mulder finally diverge i think--and it's not quite fair to mulder because so much of his character was dependent on duchovny but mans really just took tf off on his gf and their tiny baby, had no contact with her, took no responsibility, lowkey becoming scully's samantha for a while lmao.

[sleepyyshouto]

comfort crowd — bakugo

a/n: the rest of these haven't really been that angsty and i was planning to keep it that way but occasionally you need to make your comfort character cry so here we are, this is lowkey hurt/comfort but like comfort isn't super obvious at this point bc griefs a bitch. (TW: minor child character deaths, insecurity, mentions of kidnapping (kamino ward))

song: comfort crowd by conan gray & you are in love by taylor swift

!! iida — prev | bakugo | next — momo!! | series masterlist

bakugo — words of affirmation/physical touch

you knew today was going to be rough for your husband before you even opened your eyes. it was the twelfth anniversary of the battle at Kamino Ward and leading up to the day he never sleeps well, haunted by old nightmares that rarely show any other time of year. waking up to his red rimmed eyes with bags under them made you fight back a cringe even as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. he had slipped out of bed about a half hour ago and it had originally been a big problem in your relationship, him working on days when he could instead be grieving, resting, you knew that today was one of the days he had to work or else he would mentally spiral for the rest of the week.

"I'll see you tonight, doll." He whispers into the dark and you sleepily grasp his hand, giving it a quick squeeze as per routine.

"be safe, I love you." You murmur back, the feeling of his lips on your forehead before he heads to your bedroom door whispering a quiet, "I love you, too." You roll over and go back to sleep, needing to sleep a few more hours before starting the day.

It isn't your alarm but you're phone going off three hours later that wakes you up. grumbling you turn over just to see seven missed calls from kirishima and quickly sitting up.

"hello?" you call out, voice rough from sleep but a sense of panic beginning to build in your chest.

"y/n, it's - it's bad. there was a bomber early who took out 6 kids at a daycare where bakugo was patrolling. he was there right after it happened but all 6 of them were already dead. i'm gonna come drop him off at your house but he's- he's in really rough shape." a knot formed in your stomach at the words and you threw the covers off as you moved to the living room.

"i'm ready for him when you get here." you mumble into the receiver, gathering the large blanket on the sofa and turning on some of the lamps to bring light to still dark morning.

"roger." he hangs up and you curse the universe for it's timing. losing someone always hit katsuki rough. he had a bleeding heart behind his mask of assholery and every people he's ever lost he could name out loud with their family members who he visited each year. that on top of it being the same date he was rescued from being kidnapped by villains who still haunted his dreams, and the day his mentor lost his quirk which he blamed himself for, was a terrible combination.

the sound of eijirou's truck pulling up in the drive way had you unlocking the front door and watching through one of the windows as he got katsuki out in order to gauge just where he was mentally, whether it be him somewhere else mentally, angry at the world, or as he was now shell-shocked and spiraling. opening the door, you couldn't help the way you heart broke at the silent tears streaming down his face. his arms automatically went around you as he got close enough, head burying in your shirt as he started to sob. closing the door behind the two of you, you tightened your hold on him, staying silent in his time of need. you felt out of your depth, not used to him reacting this way and fearing he had hit his breaking point.

"do you want to me to the bed, love?" you asked softly, running your hands through his dirty hair with bits of concrete embedded in it. the shaky nod had you moving there slowly, katsuki's arms never loosening even as you laid down and his head rested on your chest. as his hands moved from your waist to move towards his hair you quickly took them in yours, finally able to see where he was mentally.

"it's not your fault." your voice is loud in the comparison to his quiet sobs which grow larger at your words. "it's not your fault. there was nothing else you could have done."

moving his hands to one of yours as they shake and relax at your words, you use another to tilt his head up to look at you. his face is covered in tear tracks, his eyes red and bloodshot, the sight breaks your heart and you take a deep breath to keep talking when all you wanna do is cry for the man in your arms in so much anguish, he's crying for the first time since your wedding night.

"okay? look at me. it wasn't your fault. whatever you did was enough, there was nothing more you could have done. you did enough, you are enough." you stress even as he tries to hide his face, but you need him to hear this. "okay? you're enough." the words have him moving closer, as if he could crawl in your skin, as his hands tightly grasp yours in between the two of you. his breath slowly starts to even out despite the tears you still feel dampening your shirt and you squeeze his hands in yours.

"you did enough, you're enough," you repeat, voice thick with emotion as he relaxes into your body, silent, but from the way his grip starts to slacken as begins to fall asleep. you hold on anyways, as if you can sear the words in his skin with yours purely by touch and will power. you know this isn't the end of this, he'll wake up and it'll start all over again whether he's screaming or crying and you'll question if what you're doing is enough, but the storm will pass, the wounds will heal and scar, that it'll come back next year, but that you'll both get though it. yet as you hold him close, you pray to every god you've ever known to take the pain away, to give it to you, to go back and not let him leave the bed this morning, because he'll heal with time, but time isn't kind.

do not edit, claim, or repost my works as per @sleepyyshouto

[stellocchia]

Uhhhh... Motherfucking au where everything's the same but SBI is canon and techno is a person with morals and empathy.

So the 16th was an overreaction and he actually regrets it. He got really swept away with everything in pogtopia and Wilbur egging everything on didn't help. So when he starts his retirement he actually means it and there's no wither arc

He still forgets to tell anyone he's in retirement so the butcher army kinda happens as it did before. He actually willingly follows them back to lmanberg for a trial (he doesn't just immediatelly comply with them of course but no actual battle Takes place)

He gets executed without trial and wether he has the totem or not he doesn't use it. He loses a life, figuring that if he gives them their show of power this whole shitshow is finally gonna be over.

He finds Tommy and like any decent person but especially a brother he takes him in officially. No raccooning needed. He focuses on helping Tommy recover a bit, both physically and mentally while doing his thing and keeping an eye out for lmanberg, if they decide one life wasn't enough.

Hiding from dream and stuff is p much the same

Phil comes back by himself.

They don't exactly have any reason to go to lmanberg so they don't exactly do.

Well. Mostly. They sometimes sneak around especially when dream is there to kinda scout what's going on. It's a compromise. Techno is gonna support him in getting stronger and getting info for his endgoal of getting the disks back and Tommy will hold back for now and be patient.

Butcher army still moves onto dream anyways because... Idk I feel like quackity would've gotten to him anyways like. Why not yknow.

The festival happens and the community House scene is pretty similar

Dream blames it on Tommy, wants the disc tubbo has, Tommy reveals himself.

The whole thing is just hilarious because. Yknow. People didn't know Tommy was alive. So first they thought dream was insane and then Tommy fckin entered the stage. Techno backs him up. Tubbo is pissed. His reasons are pretty different while also being pretty much the same.

Tommy let him think he killed himself and was okay doing so while going after his stupid discs. He's alive so there's the possibility he actually did blow up the community House and give them trouble with dream. Lmanberg and techno aren't cool or anything. After the execution they were just mutually ignoring each other. Lmanberg thinking he was like. Scared or some shit.

Listen. Tubbos just been having a hard time ok.

They still kinda have their shouting match because both have been bottling up shit

Dream gets the disc

Dream announces doomsday

Tommy sides with tubbo

Techno is ok with that. He didn't have an agenda. He's in retirement. He makes it clear though that this means that that's where they part. Techno's taking his retirement very serious. Techno and him had the compromise that techno would help Tommy get ready to get the disks back before releasing him back into the wild. If Tommy gets involved now, this deal ends.

Techno's Not getting involved with this conflict.

Tommy pretends to think for a few seconds but there was never a decision to be made in his mind.

They hug and part ways

Tommy still rallies the people

It still falls apart after he leaves

People are still pissed at him

So doomsday arrives and it goes pretty much the same except. Yknow. No techno or philza.

Dream releases several withers like. One or two hours early because he's a fucking bitch. (Here he actually has wither skulls himself)

And when I say several I mean several

Once he has enough spreading chaos and keeping everyone busy he builds the tnt grid and yeah.

Lmanberg is a crater anyways.

However. Philza (who in this au actually bothered to learn about the country he helped rebuilt and lived in for weeks) went and got all of ghostburs stuff the night before because. Yknow. I want him to a bit more of a good person in this.

Also. Yknow. Friend.

There's still a lot of shit blown up. The minecraft-blade-soot-innit family ain't saints. They got ghostburs shit. That's it.

So afterwards most of the shit goes the same with dream. The scenes on the grid etc etc etc

When Tommy after a long day enters his house there's technoblade and Phil and ghostbur who've been waiting for him to come home after that shitshow. They comfort him, tell him he can always come visit them in the Arctic or even live there with them if he wanted. He declined but thanks them anyways

They spend the night just to make sure he'll be okay.

The next day they go back to the antarctic

Mostly the same stuff as in canon happens

Tommy and Tubbo still get the gear for the fight against dream themselves. Tommy made the decision to do the disc thing without techno during the community House scene and he wants to respect techno by not going back on that. Though he knows if really necessary he could go and barely need to do any convincing for Techno to help him out with some gear

Getting worried about tubbo he doesn't want to chance it but not wanting to put techno on the spot he tries to steal and very similar to canon techno just pretends to be too busy to care.

When they leave techno Phil and ghostbur are also waiting for them though not on the prime path. They're a bit off to the side and them and the duo don't talk. Tommy's already done that with them after he got dreams invitation. Theyre just there to see him go off.

They're not with the saving group but they don't need to be and one of the first things Tommy does after his victory is private message them that he's safe and they won and dreams in prison.

He comes over for dinner the next day to tell them in more detail so they know what's going on and that's about it for season 2

I'm not getting into season 3 now and probably never but a few tidbits about it

Tommy still has to somewhat earn the diamonds for his hotel from philza. The minecraft-blade-soot-innit family might be semi functional but that doesn't mean Phil just gives them money whenever they ask for it. That's not how you raise kids.

Tommy obviously sends them an invite to the hotel opening anyways and techno asks what the VIP perks are

Tubbo and Tommy still have to work through a lot just like in canon. Add to that that tubbo doesn't quite know what to think about Tommy and his family being this close again. On one hand they weren't involved with doomsday like in canon and have just been keeping to themselves since Techno's execution. On the other Techno's behaviour in season 1 is still fresh in his mind and "he was having a rough patch" kind of doesn't just give him closure on that. Like he's not mad. He just doesn't know what to think of it. Cuz like. Techno's not trying to redeem himself or anything. He started his retirement because after getting out of that ravine and the adrenaline fading and just having time to think and realize what happened he realized that he couldn't let himself be controlled by the voices anymore so it's like. Going from full on alcoholic to no alcohol at all ever within a day. And to make that possible he focuses just on his retirement. This isn't about becoming a better person per se it's about not getting so strung up in shit that you tell your younger brother to die while sicking withers on him. He recognizes that he fucked up. He accepted lmanbergs judgement of executing him. Now he just wants his fckin peace. And that's kinda weird to think about for someone in tubbos position. Because. Yeah.

Thinking about Tommy spending time with his family like everything's peachy irks him because. Kinda makes it seem like everything's resolved. Like he's okay with them just having a happy ending despite them not really deserving one. But with time he realizes that Tommy needs them as a support system and that getting worked up about it just isn't worth it.

Uhhhhh and that's about it I think

Ooooh, semi-functional family sbi and clingy duo angst? Love that!

I do wonder how the whole exile debacle would go if they were actual family, especially considering that Phil was in New L'Manburg and therefore knew about the exile and could go visit Tommy freely, same with Techno actually (except for the being in New L'Manburg part), but, like, for him we can pretend he didn't know. Like, would Phil try and go visit Tommy more then once? Or would Dream find a way to keep him away? Maybe make him think he has no right to meddle with Tommy's life just now?

Also I wonder how Ranboo would be involved in all of this. Because if Techno and Phil were not there during Doomsday I doubt they invited him to live with them and I doubt they made the Syndicate, so would Ranboo live with Tuboo? Would he try to act as a sort of mediator for Clingy Duo?

Like, there are so many possibilities for this....

[roseabelle21]

No. 1

Requested by: @mirukobecomingbothered​

I might have gotten carried away with the headcanon, I'm sorry! 🥺🥺 I added a few twists of my own and I hope it reached your expectations. I hope you like it! ♥️♥️♥️

Pairings: Hitoshi Shinsou x reader, Katsuki Bakugou x reader

Status: Unedited

Genre: Fluff with a tiny weeny bit of angst.

Quick Background:

An outcast because of a 'villainous' quirk? Check.

Do you have friends? Not sure if you can call them your friends when they are all blithering idiots who want to mess with the spirits.

Does everyone think that you will be a villain someday? Every time.

Is everyone afraid of you because you look like you've been dead for the past five years but still walking above ground? Absolutely!

When do people see your cat do they automatically think that you are a witch? Yes, but more like a demon in disguise.

You shrugged them off, your quirk might be on the freaky and terrifying side but it is powerful.

Contrary to popular belief, ghosts are nice, most of the time. Maybe a bit clingy and attention seeker towards you since you are the only one who can see and hear them.

They are a nice company to be around. Most of them.

There was a time you used to hate your quirk, there never seems to be a privacy when you see those supernatural things.

You see things you wish you couldn't, things that can go beyond your imagination.

Everyone thinks the worst in you, and there are days when they get to you.

When that happens, the ghosts always have your back.

You try your best to prove them wrong, and when you got into UA and placed top 5 in the sports festival, some perspective changed, and some called you a freak.

Though they are all wimps since they can't say it directly in your face or around your friends, especially your boyfriend.

Lord knows what'll happen when someone talks shit about you around them.

They probably met Jesus soon after.

Shinsou Hitoshi

Straight off the bat, your favourite date, past time, and other couple activities are sleeping.

Him catching up on his well-deserved sleep and you calm your mind from everything.

Nothing in between.

Naps in the couch, beside the window, your rooms, maybe beside the window in the common room after stargazing.

You have to pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands.

This sleepy boi understands the pain and suffering you go through the best, especially since he's been there.

Both of you start as acquaintances.

You met him when your cat decided to give you a heart attack by running off to who knows where and not coming back for h o u r s.

It freaked you out since staying out late is unlikely of your lazy ass cat.

Despite your fatigue from training, you rushed outside to find them.

You didn't have to look for too long, you found them at the park accompanied by an Einstein inspired purple-haired guy with a UA uniform.

You let out a breath of relief, it didn't last long as anger bubbled up in your chest.

Yelling out their name that startled not only your cat and the guy, but the rest of the people at the park as well.

Shinso stared at you scolding your cat whilst bringing them in your arms.

Amused and curious at the same time.

Thinking that you took that TikTok meme "I'm alive but I'm dead" a little too far.

A chuckle that left his lips and your glare started a long interesting talk.

Both of you started eating lunch together at school with the Dekusquad.

A few teasing looks from Uraraka when he sat down beside you and greeted you before anyone else.

They started inviting him to your hangouts outside of the school and study dates.

It happened almost every day once he transferred from class 1-A.

A month after that Uraraka and Kaminari started teasing the both of you.

It confused you when they made a big deal about you and Shinsou spending more time with each other than the rest of the class.

It only confused you further when Shinsou started blushing every time you look at him or even go anywhere near him.

He finally confessed to you when both of you got stuck in the closet playing 7 Minutes In Heaven.

It was hard to listen to him because of the endless teasing of your ghost friends.

They approved of him the moment he talked and looked at you like a normal human being.

Shinsou as a friend was protective of you, knowing all of the nasty looks and what people say about you because of something uncontrollable.

And now that you're his girlfriend? Oh boy, haters can run but they can't hide.

He is the most chill person you will ever meet.

But once you decided to talk shit about his girl, just pray my dude.

Or beg for mercy.

If they are one in a million lucky ones, it might work.

But they're not so.

Not even Aizawa can stop him, cause he will turn blind eye.

Nobody talks shit to any of his children students and stay alive to tell the tale.

The both of you are his prodigies, they know nothing of the hard work you both put in your training with him.

You and your boyfriend are the best in stealth missions and gathering information.

You use your friends to gather information undetectable and Shinsou tricking the villains to brainwash them.

In short, you guys are the power couple of Class 1-A and everyone agrees.

A force to be reckoned with.

Besides, no one can pull off the cosplay of Morticia and Gomez Addams better than both of you can.

You rely on each other when times get rough and needed reassurance.

Being each other's rock to hold on and find comfort in.

Shinsou will wrap his arms around you as you spill everything to him.

Reassuring you that you are his hero, muttering sweet things in your ear, stroking your hair to calm you down, and humming you to sleep.

He knows what it feels like to hate something that is apart of you.

And he tries his best to make you see the best in the worst you think of yourself.

Everything about you is beautiful, nothing that is apart of you is worth hating.

Honestly, you couldn't wish for anyone better to be your significant other.

They can call you anything they want, but you will always be an angel in his eyes.

All of them can keep talking, and he finds great pleasure once they see your true power and find themselves speechless.

"That's my girl."

Bakugou Katsuki:

Not gonna lie, he will probably think that you are a zombie or somewhat related to them.

From the moment you walked through the door, slouched back, droopy red eyes, panda-like eye bags underneath, paper white skin that is unhealthy to look at, he was certain that you are going to collapse at any given moment. 

He scoffed, wondering how the hell you managed to get into UA, let alone the Hero class.

Were you even in the right class or are you just that tired to not see that huge ass sign at the door?

Either way, he didn't care.

So long as you don't stand in his way from being the best, which is highly unlikely to happen in his eyes.

So imagine his shock when you managed to score higher than him in the Physical Assessment Test.

What in the hell?

"Hey, freak bitch! How the hell did you score higher than me?! What are you playing at?!"

Kirishima immediately held him back and apologized profusely to you. 

Bakugou's anger at you only increased when you only stared at him blankly before rolling your eyes and walked away. 

Throughout the rest of the day, whenever he tries to call you or even go near you, he finds himself tripping over nothing or his things randomly dropping.

To say it freaks him out will be an understatement.  

However, that didn't stop him from pestering you. 

Constantly asking yelling- at you demanding your quirk and challenging you for a fight.

You're nonchalant response and sassy remarks only ticked him off.

The two on two activity was useless since you did nothing and Todoroki handled the rest. 

Cue the USJ incident and he is finally satisfied when he saw your quirk at first hand. 

Skeletons rising from the ground and villains mysteriously flying away from you when they get too close to you. 

He immediately put everything together and he is ecstatic. 

An unusual quirk but powerful nonetheless. 

Katsuki finds himself watching you in the classroom and during training. 

Finding your quirk nothing short of weird and curiosity of finding out how you use it is eating him alive.

Sometimes, he catches you talking to yourself and it only makes him more curious. 

And think that you are crazy.

The moment you agreed to challenge him was the beginning of your friendship.

He overheard a few girls that you went to school with talking about your hideous appearance and quirk when walking towards the school for training.

A slight twinge in his heart when he saw you, although your face didn't reveal anything, your eyes sure did. 

He dragged you by the arm to go faster and reassured you in his blunt way.

After that training with Bakugou became a routine.

The Bakusquad saw you both walking out of the park.

You declined their offer of going out saying that you have something to do and Bakugou just saying that he's not interested in going. 

So the teasing of when both of you will make it official happens every. Single. Day.

Be it weekends or weekdays. 

They will not stop their teasing even if they are on the verge of death.

Your bond with Katsuki strengthened when you came to rescue him from the villains and when he failed the Provisional License exams.

You were the first one to notice his change and the first and only one to confront him. 

He was shocked.

He thought he had it hidden well but not to you. 

At first, he was hesitant to tell you anything. But one hug from you and his walls came crashing down.

After that incident, you came to each other to open up.

You told him how you hate your quirk sometimes. Seeing things that gives you nightmares and paranoia.

In a short but somewhat sweet way, he told you about how those fears make you a stronger person. Physically and mentally.

He's by your side no matter what happens, he won't let you go through this alone.

To further emphasize it, he gave you a one arm hug.

He asked you out a few weeks later, quietly and all blushy face which was the first for him. 

Of course you said yes.

You both agreed to keep your relationship a secret from everyone until Halloween where - much to everyone's surprise- he joined in.

The real icing on the cake was when they saw you both in a cliche couple, Harley Quinn and Joker.

Mina and Kirishima were the first ones to realize and Denki being the last.

You are practically inseparable after you relieved your relationship. 

Anyone who talks badly about you and your quirk won't last long in the face of the earth.

Katsuki Bakugou is already explosive enough as he is, and you decided to talk shit about the love of his life?

Girl/Boy bye.

I hope you crossed everything off your bucket list cause the last thing you will see and hear is the sound of his explosions.

He once asked you about what your spirits think of him.

You were silent for a while before you replied, "I don't think you wanna know."

You know he won't stop there, he kept pestering you, again and again, every chance he gets to ask. 

Annoyed you told him.

"They think you are a crusty pomeranian and they find you amusing since it's a miracle that you still have your voice after al those yelling."

They like annoying him, whenever you both are alone, they whisper things to you that'll get you to giggle and he'll angrily question what they were talking about.

Making his things fall or mess with his hair. 

They like him for you.

As long as he keeps you safe and happy, they'll keep him safe and sound.

From the villains and the bad spirits. 

Random:

You have the perfect quirk to scare the living hell of your friends and family during Halloween season.

Who are you to deny the advantages of it. 😏😏😏

Various crosses and other blessed items by the priest litter around your room to keep the spirits away.

[bedeliadumaurier]

hey, just wanted to say that i really respect you. to work go to work most days when you're depressed (no matter the type of work)... i can't imagine it. i go through rough patches and though i only work once a week, when i do i can't always imagine getting through the day/my life lmao (it's physical labour, i can't imagine doing it full time like you). i'm happy for you that you can spend time w your wife, on holiday or not :) i wish you peace and happiness 😌

Oh wow thank you? This is a really kind message and I’ve been feeling a little down on myself lately so it’s nice (and helpful, mentally) to hear stuff like this. 

Two things: first, I’ve been in a pretty bad place like you before too. I’ve talked about this a bit on here before so sorry if I’m repeating myself, but I want to be as clear and honest as possible so maybe some of y’all will feel a little less alone in the world: when I worked at the firm a few years back I literally did not show up to work for three consecutive days. Three days! (*no one noticed I wasn’t there for a long time I guess because people tended to just hide in their offices with the door closed anyway). I missed hugely important things that got me in deep shit. I couldn’t get out of bed. I just laid there and cried til I gave myself a headache and if it wasn’t for having to feed the cats I probably wouldn’t have gotten out of bed at all. Depression is an absolute bitch. It’s overwhelming and suffocating. People die from it.

So, I know people say this all the time and I know it always sounds like bullshit but please try to allow yourself to be proud of your small successes! I know I have a hard time remembering this too, but even working one day a week and keeping yourself alive when you’re in a really dark period is SUPER difficult. It’s hard, you’re doing a hard thing and that means you’re a really strong person for doing it. 

Second: as much as it can be exhausting, I personally find physical work like this fairly satisfying and good for my mental health? Like, I show up at some house with my gardening tools, spend a couple hours pulling weeds and clearing out fallen leaves/branches from the winter out of some flower beds, and when I’m done it looks neat and tidy and I can see the results of my work. So I get to feel kind of accomplished?? And that makes me feel kind of good. So yeah idk everyone is different but I hope maybe you can find something that makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something, once in a while? Whether it be work or cleaning or colouring books or whatever! You know?

Anyways! I’m proud of you for hanging in there and doing what you’re doing! Please be gentle with yourself, anon, and thank you so much for your sweet message :)