#been watching this for the first time in chronological order w my bf and it's been a treat

[bluelightningcommander]

No OCs today, just my current Clone Wars fave

[tartagliaxx]

hello!! i cant seem to find our last interaction but to be fair it was a whileee ago 💔 ahah hi it’s me, the anon that dropped off the face of the earth 😔 firstly i wanted to clear up a few things! my life has been pretty yucky since we last talked so i went off tumblr for awhile,, got sick, got sucky grades back, changed subjects etc etc. i’m sorry i disappeared like that regardless! i tend to do the whole hibernate into my little wallow of sadness and come back out when i’m finished,,, (a bad habit i need to break) i hope we’re okay! i actually just got back on socials and was surprised to see you mention the band hcs ahah and remembered f u c k i disappeared. tldr: me being a ghost was definitely not your fault and just me tryna figure out my life lol!

idk why spacing is so weird on asks anyway, how’s everything going in your life? are you doing alright? since we last talked i did catch a few glimpses of? maybe you didn’t get childe? i should really catch up on ur blog 😀 if he didn’t come home i’m tying him up and roasting him like a piece of meat on a fire bc w t f man???? rude as fuck not to come home to ur wife 😡🔫🔫 if he d i d come home,, disregard everything i said ☺️ <3 he’s safe,,, for now...

so back to the matter at hand: band hcs. love, please!!! do not force urself to write these 😔 i know u said u got em queued up but i can’t help but feel guilty bc i was definitely meant to throw my two cents in there! *cue me scrambling for my notes* from what i can gather.... *squints at notes* i could see childe as main vocal/on the electric guitar maybe bc i think that’s kinda sexy of him (nothing to do with ed sheeran playing guitar...😳) kaeya i can see as sub vocal/bass guitar - i feel like he wouldn’t be the face of the band but very popular for the vibe he’s got going. benny on the drums because benny on the drums that’s my explanation aaaand old man zhongli on keyboard/sub vocal. that’s what i had ahah probably totally different to yours but tell me your thoughts - i look forward to seeing yours! (note: this was just a boy band of my favs 😔) i just saw another post u had about...something i can’t remember but i had thoughts abt it and will send them in a seperate ask!!

i’m sorry i can’t remember much of what we said last time aaa my memory is horrible but i do remember something abt us watching barbie movies tgt and u perhaps saying that’s cool 👀 heh um,, if we were to start, would you want to go in chronological order? 👀 alright! this is very long so i’ll wrap it up there, all my love~! 🦋💞xx (if i got the emojis in the wrong order...no i didn’t 😳🤚)

mAN ahahahhahahahah ok, first of all, i never meant for you to feel guilty over this or put you in the spot for that matter because trust me, i understand. i sometimes need to stay away to recharge and stuff. besides, no one is ever, ever required to keep talking to me after they sent an ask. it’s not your responsibility to socialize with me but i appreciate it regardless. i’m so sorry your life was not going very well but i just know that better days are coming :)) and yes, we’re definitely okay. i do hope that u didn’t feel forced to send this tho!

things have been great! i have been doing absolutely nothing in contrast to back then when i was doing absolutely everything. it’s like a recharge period for me. oh and im doing my graduation rites on may 8 so there’s that.

ok so,, i lost 50/50 w mona and i lost all hope that i’ll get childe but drama queen went brr and came home on my 16th pull after that. i’m still a little salty bc you dont do that to your wife yknow??? so you have my permission to put him in a stick and grill him over live fire 😍

🥺🥺 that’s sounds fun!! the hcs are already done. i had a huge brainrot yesterday and finished it in one sitting. very different from what you have but im starting to feel like yours had more sense to it asvdhskkcbsjka n e way, childe being your bad boy guitarist bf.... MAN i see it and i love it. i feel like kaeya would exude sm mysterious energy and he just catches attention on stage. mr. popular through and through. and like,, i hc kaeya has pretty hands and just,, imagining it on a bass, fingers stretching to reach the chords... ugh seggsy 😭 benny boy send tweet!! i love that.. i feel like he’s the type to always have tons of spares on him bc he keeps snapping his sticks bc he gets into it. i love the polarity tho bc off stage he’s the softest boy around 🤧 and lastly, big man zhong... hehehehe... yes.

i got your other ask and i’ll answer it separately so we can vibe better there. on another note,, yes please!! let’s watch the barbie cinematic universe chronologically together!! idk how we’ll do it though? discord maybe? if u have that u can send in your id through an ask and i’ll send the request privately. thanks for dropping by again, bub!

ps. i think you got the emojis right

[bb-bambam]

a decade with jjp

well, here we are at the end of 2019, which means that it’s been a little over 10 years with jjp. this is a compilation i put together of (most of, but definitely not all because i only really went through my blog and my twitter!) the jjp moments we’ve had the privilege of seeing over the past 10 years. i tried to put them vaguely in chronological order, but there were just so many that it was sort of hard to keep track! i hope you find your favorite moments here, and are reminded of some that you’ve forgotten about! (i know i definitely was!)

here’s to a wonderful decade of smiles, laughter, and happiness with our resident soulmates, and we hope for many many more!

predebut

the fateful audition that started it all (x)

bounce era

back in their awkward stages (x)

jaebeom teasing jinyoung (x)

they’ve always matched well (x)

jaebeom’s happy birthday song for jinyoung (x)

jaebeom singing that he loves jinyoung before cracking an egg on his head (at 7:45) (x)

flirting on twitter (x)

jaebeom feeding jinyoung (x)

shopping date (x)

their promise to make a second album (which would eventually come true 5 years later!) (x)

ggg era

jaebeom being soft for jinyoung even when they were on opposing teams (x)

jj dads w their baby youngjae (x)

hugging each other after pretending to fight to prank yugyeom (at 6:50) (x)

their fingers lacing together in a weirdly intimate way (at 13:50) (x)

a era

sharing a shirt in the “a” dance practice videos (x)

being cute in a corner by themselves (x)

jinyoung’s thank you note to jaebeom (x)

flirting during a fan event (x)

never forgetting their roots (x)

stop stop it era

jinyoung comforting jaebeom (x)

holding hands (x)

weird flirting (WHAT was jinyoung looking for?) (x)

jjparents (x)

the time jaebeom manhandled jinyoung to the ground and they both looked way too happy about it (x)

jaebeom exposing himself on instagram and trying to delete the evidence (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s (favorite) annoying dongsaeng (x)

not exactly a jjp moment but jackson being a jjp shipper (x)

just right era

jinyoung being extra for no reason (x)

their simpsons couple rings (x)

jaebeom feeding jinyoung (and then licking the same hand?) (x)

jealous jinyoung (x)

mad era

their iconic ceci photoshoot (x)(x)

being cute before the comeback stage (x)

jinyoung flirting with jaebeom (x)

clingy jinyoung (x)

the first sukira game (u all know the one) (x)

and what’s more, jaebeom puckered his lips (x)

this video where they were all over each other (x)

jinyoung declaring jj project as his one and only unit (x)

they aren’t close, they’re deep (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung by touching his hand (x)

jjparents w their babies yugjae (x)

when they almost left jinyoung behind but jaebeom made sure they didn’t (x)

holding hands (x)

jaebeom thirsty (it’s the second tweet in the thread!) (x)

miscellaneous moments (including jinyoung calling jaebeom “jagiya”) (x)

fly era

domesticity in a restaurant and jaebeom feeding jinyoung (x)(x)

checking on each other onstage (also i kind of went off in my tags?? lmao) (x)

communicating w their eyes (x)

jaebeom knowing exactly how jinyoung wants to confess (x)

the second sukira game (including a comparison to the first!) (x)

jaebeom being absolutely whipped and letting jinyoung get away with anything (x)

them being cute and touchy (x)

jinyoung between jaebeom’s legs in the car?!?!?! (x) 

jaebeom helping jinyoung wear his blindfold (x)

the softness in this vlive (x) 

jinyoung being a “ghost” and jaebeom being whipped (x)

a hug for jaebeom for getting a strike (x)

jinyoung being needy (x)

them being domestic in front of everyone on vlive (x)

jj dads w their baby yugyeom (x)

when they went on this show JUST to be domestic (x)

jaebeom thinks jinyoung is the prettiest (and lowkey admitted he likes jinyoung crossdressing?) (x)

unnecessary clinginess (x)

fly tour

jinyoung doing The Most when jaebeom wasn’t there for their concerts (x)(x)(x)(x)

jaebeom watching jinyoung with utter fondness (x)

jinyoung being so incredibly happy to have jaebeom back (x)

jjp on a walmart date (x)

jjp on a pizza date (x)

jjp on a family shopping date w their baby bambam (x)

jjp on a family aquarium date w their baby bambam (x)

hard carry era

this 20 min vlive where it was just them being cuddly (x)(x)

their wedding day (x)

whipped culture on asc (x)

them being…like This at a fan event (x)

bookworm boyfriends (x)

communicating w their eyes (again) (x)

jaebeom singing prove it to jinyoung (that song was written for jinyoung ok) (x)

jaebeom LOOKING DIRECTLY AT JINYOUNG while talking about marriage (!!!!!!!) (x)

jjp describing each other as their ideal type (x)

the start of jinyoung calling jaebeom “jaebeommie” (x)

jinyoung demanding appreciation from jaebeom (x)

jjp talking about their feelings when jaebeom was injured (x)

sharing an umbrella (x)

i just really love this pic. jinyoung adores jaebeom so much (x)

jjp soulmates confirmed by mbti (x)

no one knows jaebeom like jinyoung does (x)

more couple rings (x)

in their own world (x)

jinyoung singing happy birthday to jaebeom (x)

jinyoung thinks jaebeom is the most handsome (x)

jaebeom telling jinyoung to sit on his lap (x)

again…them in their own world (and the lip thing) (x)(x)

this fanmeeting skit (x)

singing “my home” to each other (x)

never ever era

touchy at the airport (x)

their embarrassing moments are shared because their pasts are just too intertwined (x)

jaebeom touching The Butt (x)

jinyoung biting jaebeom’s cheek (x)

soft touches at a radio show (x)

jackson calling them out (x)

jaebeom again letting jinyoung be informal (x)

jinyoung doesn’t match with anyone but jaebeom (x)

bambam instigating jjp moments (x)

jinyoung always takes care of jaebeom (x)

they share shampoo (even though it’s not okay when mark uses it) (x)

coffee date (x)

yugyeom facetiming his dads (x)

they ACTUALLY almost kissed (x)

whatever THIS was (x)

jaebeom playing with the holes in jinyoung’s jeans (x)

jaebeom losing suspiciously easily to jinyoung at a bar battle (x)

jaebeom letting jinyoung win at arm wrestling (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung from touching his butt (x)

jaebeom thinks jinyoung is the funniest man alive (x)

verse 2 era (<33333)

they filmed in hokkaido which is a place jinyoung always wanted to visit (x)

cuties talking on the phone (x)

this whole interview (x)

jjp in the bathroom then vs jjp in the bathroom now (x)

they’re just so soft (x)

tomorrow today (stream verse 2 and this mv!!) (x)

the iconic mirror choreo (x)

holding hands and looking super happy about it (x)

jj project is jinyoung’s home-like space (x)

their tombstones will be side by side (x)

they can’t keep their eyes off each other (x)

the depth of their relationship is just…wow (x)

jealous jaebeom (x)

photographer bfs (x)

always complimenting each other (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s favorite dongsaeng (x)

they drink together (x)

talking about soulmates (little did we know what jaebeom would do 2 years later…) (x)

their special relationship (x)

marriage (x)

their shared bookshelf (x)

kings of domesticity (x)

jinyoung is jaebeom’s cat (x)

jaebeom inviting jinyoung into his room (and jinyoung loving his cats!) (x)

even more couple rings (x)

jaebeom calls jinyoung “youngie” confirmed (x)

jackson telling us what we already knew (x)

jjp’s photo essay (x)

7 for 7 era

the jjp imagery in the you are mv (x)

clingy jinyoung part 43762 (x)

jinyoung getting away with everything as usual (x)

idk what THIS was but (x)

jinyoung being incapable of shutting up about jaebeom while he was in the jungle (x)(x)

jaebeom getting hot and bothered bc of jinyoung on camera (x)

these cute pictures (x)

always always in their own world (x)

jaebeom serenading jinyoung with “face” (x)

editors always acknowledge the soulmates (x)

lest we forget: jaebeom looked at jinyoung like THIS in the middle of running a food truck (x)(x)

eyes on you era

jinyoung recognizing jaebeom by touching his ear (x)

jaebeom recognizing jinyoung by touching his chin (x)

jinyoung can do ANYTHING (x)(x)

jjp married (x)(x)

jaebeom getting flustered (x)

this little thing they always do when they perform “look” (x)

jjp domestic (x)

jinyoung loves nora okay (x)

ice cream date (x)

they really want each other to strip (x)

informal jinyoung again (x)

they’re just so. soft (x)

always looking out for each other (x)

they love taking pictures of each other (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

eyes on you tour

jjp on a paris date (x)

jjp dancing together in nyc (x)(x)

secret flirting onstage (x)

jaebeom checking out jinyoung’s entire butt (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

lullaby era

don’t send them anywhere together (x)

complementary rings (x)

business as usual for them (x)

jaebeom staking his claim on jinyoung’s birthday (x)

looking at each other (and doing the lip thing!) as yugyeom talks about first loves (x)

jinyoung does not fear jaebeom at all (x)

jaebeom cannot lie to jinyoung (x)

miracle era

onstage flirting (x)

jinyoung’s fave songs are the ones jaebeom writes (x)

they make each other soooo happy (x)

one of my favorite sets of pictures ever (x)

literally married (x)

literally married pt 2 (x)

jinyoung through jaebeom’s eyes (x)

JB GA DAISUKI (x)

jinyoung waiting for jaebeom (x)

another serenade courtesy of jaebeom (x)

jaebeom being a (probably) biased ref (x)

jinyoung can talk to jaebeom about anything and jaebeom wants to have his last meal w jinyoung (x)

another ice cream date (x)

jj handshake #847348 (x)

focus on me era

happy to be together in the airport just before jus2 promotions and jinyoung’s drama (x)(x)

jaebeom making the jus2 showcase a jjp event for some reason (x)(x)(x)

jaebeom turning jus2 promotions into a jj project promotion period for some reason (x)(x)(x)

needy jaebeom (x)

finally reunited! (x)

eclipse era

jinyoung gives jaebeom a sense of security (x)

jaebeom’s cheeks are too cute (x)

eyes always on each other (x)

jinyoung getting away with informality part 397843 (x)

THEY’RE! SO! SOFT! (x)

hugs! (x)

jaebeom said jj project is forever (x)

bambam supports! (x)

jjp on the best friends episode of plof together (x)(x)

jjp on radio apart (x)

jaebeom likes being in jinyoung’s arms (x)

their got2day which was just them being soft (x)

JJP SOULMATES (!!!!!!!!) (x)

keep spinning tour

flirting onstage again (x)

they know everything about each other (ft. an interview from 2018!) (x)

holding hands at the airport (x)

it was fitting that they were chosen to make up a handshake (x)

very close at the airport (x)

giggly and tipsy (x)

thailand always gives us the moments we deserve (x)

selfie time! (x)

jaebeom always looking after jinyoung (he wasn’t feeling well that day) (x)

jaebeom being smug abt having jinyoung all to himself (x)

sharing secrets onstage (x)

ycmn era

jaebeom leading jinyoung offstage (x)

jinyoung being clingy again (x)

pda as usual (x)

everyone ships it (x)

jinyoung thirsty (x)

wanting to be with each other after got7′s first daesang win (x)(x)(x)

possessive jaebeom at the mamas (x)

jinyoung teasing jaebeom and jaebeom being whipped (x)

clingy jaebeom (x)

so smiley (x)

clingy clingy (x)

softest in the world (x)(x)

flustering each other (x)

jinyoung cute jaebeom sexy (x)

photographer bfs again (x)

jaebeom wants jinyoung all to himself (x)

actually what was going on w them on this day (x)

spending 10 years together looks like this (x)

dramas

dream knight (x)

dream high vs. dream knight (the tension…) (x)

when a man loves (x)(x)

compilation (x)

unknown/multiple eras

jjp are happiest with each other (x)

sharing secrets (x)

the happiness they get from each other… (x)

jinyoung being jaebeom’s fave dongsaeng (x)

sharing a jacket (x)

sharing a sweater (x)

compilations and miscellaneous stuff

compilation of jjp just knowing it’s the other (including by touching jaebeom’s inner lip…) (x)

compilation of jinyoung vs. jaebeom battles that jinyoung always wins (bc jaebeom is whipped?) (x)

compilation of jaebeom laughing bc of jinyoung (x)

compilation of pics of each other (x)

compilation of jaebeom being literally incapable of controlling himself (x)

compilation of all their “kisses” (x)

miscellaneous moments (x)

miscellaneous soft moments (x)

miscellaneous underrated moments (x)

and last but absolutely not least, this submitted list of further jjp nonsense (x)

[jwink-4life-blog]

My girlfriend posted this. Turns out I'm the asshole. lol. LMK if i am.

I am still with my girlfriend so please don't be mean to her. I did this to see if it would help me with my anxiety associated with the whole situation. Maybe it will help me move on. 

My girlfriend posted this. Turns out I'm the asshole. lol. LMK if i am.

"So my boyfriend recently decided that he was having issues trusting me for little things he would consider white lies. (i.e. things such as saying I could handle spicy food when it turned out i no longer could) so he wanted to go through my phone, which I obliged. He went in to my Snapchat account and asked who a particular person I was talking to was.

I told him the truth, that it was someone that I had met through tinder and had become friends with. This person was well aware I'm with my boyfriend and made no moves to try and flirt or insinuate he was hoping my bf and I broke up.

My bf went through the conversation and didn't see anything suspicious, his words, not mine. All there was were complaints of wanting to kms and stomach pain. However he still insisted that he couldn't trust me and has beliefs that I'm possibly cheating on him if he has no proof of such and I never did. I never met the person I was talking to IRL

Am I the Asshole?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hey, her boyfriend here. I just thought I would fill in what is missing. At the time of her post, we had been dating since the summer of 2019 (8 months in total) but officially SO since late November (3 months). Still together!... maybe not after this. I address the extra information she added on the comments too.  

Organized in chronological order:

1. She mentions a guy, let us call him Jeff. She said that Jeff and she went to a movie together after we had gotten together; that is true. Expect she left out that when we were dating she went on a date with this guy. That was perfectly fine. At the time she was not my girlfriend. She had vented to me that the guy ditched her halfway through the date and began to cry about it. She vented how upset she was because she was looking forward to it. During the time she was venting, I listened and gave her friendly advice. I finally realized months later that I really liked this girl and wanted to be with her so I asked her to be my girlfriend and to my luck, she said yes. We discussed on the day we got together that we would not talk to ex's, flirt with other people, and get off of our dating apps. Even talk about not putting ourselves in a position where cheating could occur because of someone else making a move. However, not a month into our relationship and she goes to the movies with Jeff. On are seconded date we went to the cinema where we kissed and hugged during the movie and had sexual relations for the first time after the movie which is perfectly fine. She was single and she could do with her body as she pleased. But once she got in a relationship that should have changed. What am I supposed to think? She had dated the guy before, cried about him and were at a place where I know that they could be affectionate. She told me that she was going to the movies with him and I expressed that I was not OK with it. She still went. That was the first red flag. The reason why it was a big deal was that we had just talked about our relationship and the guidelines that we expect to follow.

2. After the time she went to the movie with "jeff" (not his real name). I started to get on tinder to look at her profile to see anything suspicious (She had lost my trust). I was looking for new changes to her bio and photos. Probably a day or two later I noticed her tinder profiles had disappeared from my matched list. I thought that maybe she had blocked me so I could not see changes. Second red flag.

3. I talked to my support system such as a friend, and family they agreed that it is something worth bringing up.

4. I confront her about everything so far.  

She explained that her father had prank called her using an automatic voice recording that called about a tinder date. She said she got scared because she didn't understand how they got her number and deleted the profile. So I asked her for her phone. She gave it to me but before she did she entered Kik and swipe the start page to the left and press some things. At the time I had no idea what was Kik so I just asked her what it was and she said it's an internet browsing app. She failed to mention that it was a messaging app too. I exited out of Kik and went in to tinder and we tried to sign in. There was no profile connected to her number so I left it as she was saying the truth.

When I brought up Jeff her excuse was that she had always gone out with guys by herself and it wasn't a problem ever. She said that I should trust her. She said it was her first relationship, so she didn't know it would have been an issue. I didn't like that excuse because we had already talked about guidelines in our relationships and she was breaking one. I explained that I don't trust Jeff (but I didn't trust her too). This is a guy that has dated another guy to watch free movies and get free food but he's not gay. He's is a shady person. She said nothing happened between them. She agreed on the conditions that would not happen again. We went on with our lives together.

5. Some time passes. We had other issues later on but like any other couple.

6. One day while I was driving she had mentioned that she was keeping in touch with people all over the world and that they were her friends. She mentioned that she use to be in love with a guy from out of the country and would have phone sex with another that lived out of state. I didn't say anything because at the time I didn't feel that she need to get rid of these friends since they were so far away. Later on, stuff happened that changed my mind.

7. Some time passes again.

8. One day when we were laying in bed together I noticed that she was deleting her Snapchat and Kik from her phone. I just made a mental note because I thought it was old. I didn't ask anything and she just told me that she needed space on her phone. It sounds valid to me. Still, though, I didn't ask. Later in the future, she told me that she had deleted them so I wouldn't think she was cheating.

9. Later on that night or the following night she was acting weird. She didn't want to have sex which is fine but she distanced herself from me. We would normally cuddle but she was on the other side of the bed. Her mannerisms were almost like covering her vagina where ever she moved (not on her period); it was behavior she never exhibited before. I joked with her to try and make her feel better and she said: "you are a bitch though!". She was defensive about my jokes. Not how she normally acts when I joke with her. That whole night was terrible, it just became a battle of who could annoy the other.

10. The next morning I could not stop getting this feeling that something was wrong. I knew I didn't have much of a reason to ask for her phone again. Still that night I talked to her. I began to doubt myself. I explain to her, how when I was a child my mother would have me call all the numbers off of my dad's phone from call history to see if my dad was cheating(He was) so I told her that I think this is the reason why I may feel she is cheating on me with no evidence. I asked if she would let me see her phone to prove my suspicions are wrong. She said yes. I smiled and didn't take her phone. I felt that was good enough for me... until after we were done eating she began to get ready to shower but before going she made eye contact with me and placed her phone in her backpack, never breaking eye contact with me; solid 20 seconds of eye contact. I just made a mental note that it was weird that she put it away so awkwardly.

11. Later on that night in bed I thought it was the best time to ask her for her phone to finally put my suspicions away. She gave me her phone. Initially, she didn't bother looking over to see where I was going on her phone. That made me feel that I had nothing to worry about. I went to her phone and didn't find a thing but then I remember she had deleted her Snapchat and Kik.

12. The next move was to go into the files of her phone where stuff is stored even when the app is deleted. I enter the Kik app file and she was sending a video of her kissing the screen and role-playing. She said it was before we were together. I check the date it's in late December after I met her family. This is when her relaxed attitude change to focusing on the screen at all times.

13. I download Kik and Snapchat. I made sure to remove the phone from her hands once she signs in to not have a suspicion of her deleting stuff.

14. I still didn't know much about Kik but later I found out that if you delete or sign out of the app all your messages will be deleted. No message was found because she had deleted the app. Just a guy's name that she said was a friend but messages in the conversation were empty.

15. Snap chat was where I found a red flag. I enter her snap chat and saw 4 guys' names. I asked her "before I go in any of these do you want to tell me anything?" she said no.

I enter the first guy chat, it was the out of state guy who she had phone sex before; he saved messages. The saved messages didn't look suspicious but it's Snapchat so there can be some that weren't saved. Weird that she talking to someone she uses to have frequent phone sex with but OK. Didn't say much about it.

The second guy, he saved messages too. He was sending her voice messages. Saved messages were not suspicious but it's Snapchat so there can be some that weren't saved. I asked her who he was since his name was not familiar. She said he found her from tinder and they been messaging since. That was a red flag for me because we discussed we would not communicate with the people we meet from tinder. She said that he never made a move on her... stuff like that; however, she then said how she was trying to meet up with the guy at Denny's once because she wanted pancakes and even though she wanted to he would not go unless she would take a friend with her because he knew she had a boyfriend. Sounds weird?? Yup! She said they never met. why would she try to meet up with him by herself? So I'm the asshole? why do all these dudes supposedly "save the whole conversation"?  

The third and fourth were guy she has been friends with and I have no problem with her hanging with the two of them together. She had mentioned these friends a long time ago so it checked out.

16. On the drive home, after I went through her phone. She must have the worst timing ever because she brought up the fact that she used to cheat when playing cards with her dad. Her dad got mad at her and would not play with her again. She would ask to play with her dad but he wouldn't let her because she would cheat. Then she told me that if her dad would have given her another chance she would have proven that she wouldn't have cheated again. Why did she say this??? no idea. Bad timing, maybe?

17. But right after that story she then became mad and quiet. She said I had broken her personal space which all she has in her life. I told her that I gave her phone back and she could go through mine whenever she wanted. She still was mad. Saying that I took her privacy away. This got me heated because I didn't say she had to stop talking to anyone after I found the suspicious activities. I blew up! I told her we will talk about it at her house! Then she started crying saying how she is sorry and so on.

18. Once at her house, I told her that anyone from a dating site that she met; people she had any sexual activities including phone sex from the past she would have to stop talking to if she wanted to be with me. I dropped her off and left angry. We took the weekend apart from each other.

19. I talked to my support system again and they said it was time to cut it off. I agreed but...

20. My dumb ass stayed with her. lol, We talked it out. She blamed her inexperience with the relationship since it was her first. Saying she didn't know better.

21. We had other issues like any other couple.

22. I was going to finally break up with her but I had to wait until the weekend because I promise to take her sibling to school for a few weeks. I waited to break up with her to keep my promise to her.

23. She caught on to me being distant and faking being happy. She confronted me about it and we decide to work on our relationship.

24. Part of the conversation involved people who thought I was overrating about past relationship troubles. Turn out she was talking about Reddit!!! Hi, Reddit! Seems allot of info got left out. SMH. I thought it was weird how everyone I went to for advice thought I made perfect sense but with her, she thought I was overreacting, insecure, and bad shit crazy.

24. I fell in love with her. Hopefully, I don't get my heart to rip out. lmao.

25. Almost forgot, the "white lies"... well, do I have to go in detail about this? Shouldn't this post speak for itself? I understand why we use white lies; we are using then to not hurt someone's feelings. "Hey, do I look ugly?" "No, you are a snack". This was not the case. I have caught her many times lying about stuff that there's no need to lie about, hold information, and change a slight thing in her story to fit her narrative. For example, "My bf went through the conversation and didn't see anything suspicious, his words, not mine". Really? Did I say that? The only thing I told her was there was not enough proof to say she didn't cheat on me. There was defiantly so suspicious activities.

Am I the asshole?

Is she the asshole?

Or am I a 100% simp?

LMK

[raaidens]

17, 18, 31, 41

17. character you don’t understand the hype over? 

fuckin. big boss dude. i mean i like him alright but i just don’t understand the popularity? he ain’t that great. solid is, like, waaaay more interesting as a character imo (ppl are free to like him ofc i’m just not rly Invested like i am w/snake)

18. game you think is underrated?

okay lloyd we both know why u asked this and we both know what i’m gonna say

its mgs2

like ok in the tumblr fandom its decently popular but when i was a wee lad on the internet i used to run into cishet dudebros who thought 2 sucked bc of raiden and i would get in fights with said dudebros (mostly on like. random forums where i’d make an account just to fight and then leave) because i love mgs2 with every fiber of my being and i realize now that a lot of people also love mgs2 with a similar passion but i still maintain that until every soul on earth loves mgs2 it is underrated ok its so fucking good

31. a character you relate to?

i think we all already know how much i relate to raiden so i’m actually gonna talk about another character i relate to bc i don’t wanna bore the world with me talking abt how i relate to raiden again. so uh actually i also really, really relate to kaz??? which alright i could have guessed going into peacewalker and mgsv (and then coming back around to mg2 when i realized i still relate to miller when he’s old and sad and not just young and sad, go figure). like idk i relate to his younger peacewalker persona w/the performative charm and the trying to get laid mostly to avoid thinking about being sad, and in like a totally different way i can relate to the whole anger/vengeance thing in mgsv and i my bpd ass rly rly relates to the way he clings to bb and hates and loves him at the same time bc that’s classic borderline behavior and i have done the same thing to so many ppl so many times dude 

41. how did you play the games: chronologically or by release date? which order do you think is better?

alright so, originally i played mgs2 first bc my friend’s brother had it and i wanted to play it bc i saw raiden and he was cute and then like.,.. that was it. i read a summary of mgs1 so i could figure out what was actually happening when i replayed it (tho i ended up playing it like... four times before mgs4 came out). i didn’t play 1 bc i was like “ew ps1 game those are hard and scary” (keep in mind i was literally 8) and i skipped mgs3 bc i didn’t care about big boss (some things never change lmao). i played mgs4 when it came out when i was like 12-ish and basically cried myself to sleep for like months and had a mini gay awakening when i realized how gay hal and dave are for each other (once again, some things never change). and then after watching a lp of mgs1 and a year of perusing fanfic and writing things that were once posted on ff.net but have since been lost to the ether, i left the fandom for like 6 years. and then last january i showed my best friend and my bf that part in mgs4 where otacon tells u to change the disc and then he’s like “o wait this is a ps3 lol” and that somehow convinced them that it was time for them to experience the series and we played thru the entire thing in order of release. 

[2slowgoers]

Ghosts of Christmases Past

Hi L,

I find that since it’s the end of the decade it’d be a good idea to write a tribute to all my fleeting memories of our friendship. Initially a challenge from you because you think I forget everything, I’ve used it as an exercise to remind me of why we’ve been able to become and stay so close in the relatively short 5, 6 years we’ve known each other. I realised that oftentimes it’s not the memory of our interaction but more so a feeling that stayed with me. Thus, the list you’ll see below is vague because I don’t really recalls details, but they’re there because they left a mark (I did use a few hints from my phone album). I’ll be writing this in chronological order from our first meeting to the last time we met in November

I’d love to hear if any of the things I write down are not in your memory or are remembered differently :) Memories are such a curious thing. 

-I think we were in front of LDC? But it was ISO and we were all getting to know each other and you complimented my fashion ;p I really appreciated it. I think at that time I had a pretty good impression of you and thought we might get along (I think I have a pretty accurate first impression of people for myself).

-I also remember me, TT, and ST visiting you in your dorm at Goodhue during spring term maybe? You said that T’s bf at the time had come to visit but I don’t remember that. I just remember you weren’t too happy then but I don’t remember why :\ maybe you were stressed from work?

-winter term after you came back from studying and trekking abroad, I remember feeling nervous messaging you about your trip. Somehow it felt like we didn’t get to talk too much about it during that first conversation, or at least it wasn’t fully positive. I think you’d opened up about the struggles of traveling alone as a woman and getting harassed then?

-feeling replaceable when you and T got close, wondering if y’all would have dated if you’d met earlier. Anyway we talked (I don’t even know how I managed to approach you about this lol), and you talked about being friends with couples in your past

-summer after second year, going to Monterey with your family and eating at the Italian bistro bc your dad loves Italian food

-you visiting me in Seattle that summer and getting high with R. We had lunch with some college mates and were planning to go out but instead y’all just napped all afternoon. That was annoying but funny still

-visiting you in Berlin that fall -- going to all those weird bars, and in the last bar this guy came to sit with us and you talked to him, telling him we were all in relationships and he fibbed that he also was in a relationship. Later you told me his breath stank lol (let’s not mention all the other wildness that night -- still traumatised by the racist heckling and the people openly having sex at KitKat)

-meeting up in Venice (it’s still one of my fondest places that we went to together), trying to find cheap aperitifs and drinking them in front of a church, and lamenting over how romantic everything was and how many couples there were everywhere

-you, TT and ST coming to visit me in Budapest and us going to ruin bars. We left early and I remember being woken up at like 4am to open the door for TT. Also walking around Margitsziget (the island), and going to the open-air thermal bath. Do you remember zipping around in a whirlpool with throngs of people in it? 

-me doing your hair in T’s room the following winter, with you sitting on a pile of newspapers on the ground. I think we were trying to dye your hair brown

-us cooking at your house with your hs friend H and then the garbage can set on fire (?!); I think you were trying to make carbonara that time but the eggs weren’t going great or something; it was also the first time I’d seen anyone microwave tomatoes

-you and V trying to eat her frozen coconut water from a box and using a knife to hack at it. I was so scared for your fingers

-us going to the career center training with a quarter of a watermelon and eating it with spoons. I loved eating watermelons like that and feel like I haven’t really eaten that way since :(

-our birthday picnic and going to Valley Scare -- do you remember being scared? I feel like most of the folks were freaked out by the clowns and I was trying to not exhibit any fear so the attention would get directed to everyone else

-that one group confession/conversation we had in our room where people brought up their insecurities and feeling left out; I later confided in you about my hesitance with everyone trying to uplift each other through their looks

-going tubing toward the end of the year with J and trying to blow up those damn tubes! You had to blow mine up eventually because I was running out of breath

-the next time going tubing with everyone and it being a mess! Definitely thought we were going to die a few times (there was one particular moment where some of us were trying to latch onto a tree but there were bugs on it, and behind us TT and someone else -- was it you? -- got stuck on a shallow pebbly area)

-during graduation, I pulled you and T together to introduce to my parents, purposely to pad their meeting with T. I was hoping also that your dad would get along w my dad but they barely talked :[ 

-visiting you and H with T in August! I remember paddle boarding with y’all (lots of fun), watching you all play games, and going to eat pizza and trying kombucha for the first time. That was a much needed break from my family then

-you and J coming to visit for my bday! We went to Ktown and sang karaoke and ate bbq (J said that while we were waiting in line some girl passed by and gave me a judging side-eye); watching the Parent Trap with you; us all sitting in the pool area and chatting (K and JN came with a cake! it was so good) about the future and all its unknown

-the two wonderful weeks in Taiwan :) the pace was good and I really appreciated having you show me your city (and also exploring new places with you). I remember waking up early and staring out your window as you snoozed next to me; your smelly dog and me not knowing how to pet him; going to the most beautiful little thermal spa (and taking advantage of our time there alone); going to night markets with you and of course getting my ears pierced :)); playing with super fluffy cats at the cat cafe; scoping cute stores and cafes at the artsy warehouse area; eating that nasty eel in Tainan; biking around in Tainan and then you getting bird poop on your scarf (!); the cute capsule hostel in Kenting; driving scooters around Kenting and being terrified of the wind. I’d love to do something like that again, with a nice pace to explore a place that’s less familiar to us both and maybe through a decolonized lens :)

-seeing you and J in the Bay Area after you moved there. We were taking all kinds of photos with different flowers in your neighborhood; going to First Friday in Oakland; eating at a cafe in Berkeley and spotting Nick Robinson even though you and J were sure I was mistaking him; us eating cioppino in that one seafood restaurant outside (I don’t think it was very impressive)

-you came back again in like October and we went to see A in the burbs. It was practically blizzarding and we tried to go to that one mall but ended up at a Mexican resto. I think we ended up going back to her place to play Life? 

-spending Christmas, another precious chill time :) painting ornaments; decorating the tree; you and that puzzle (which still lies on our floor); cooking everyday; watching Strong Girl; going to that comedy show with my cousin and walking back in the cold; going to see the Christmas lights and paying money to see a rather unimpressive “4d experience”; buying a butcher’s knife and you hacking away at some chicken bones happily because I was too scared to do it

-hiking in March was also fun! You chose a beautiful and lovely b&b. I remember exchanging music with you (lots of Spanish electropop); eating that overpriced hotpot; and taking a bunch of photos while waiting for pizza

-seeing you again in June (feeling claustrophobic; going to that strange queer fashion show), 

-August (going to see Yuna <3; that bike trip where you and T were going so fast; eating food at that little pagoda with our hodgepodge of food which was actually pretty good; having Thai temple brunch), 

-September (2x! Spending time with my sister and all the stress incurred on us both that came with it before and after; I really appreciated you being there for me; getting good vegan food and trying but failing to find a plan for M; and trying to find hotpot mix all over the store but it was right under our noses?? -- the 2nd trip you came to Chicago and we watched Hamilton!!) 

-and then November (going to see Mean Girls in NYC and you were waiting in line with that white saviour-seeming lady and the guy in the t-shirt; trying to meet each other’s friends; eating at Modern Love --still the most inspiring place I’ve eaten in 2019 aside from the Mexican Michelin place T and I went to for our anniv; walking around the park and you giving me a leaf for a bookmark which I actually kept for like a month)! 

So many times this year lol, often unexpected and last minute. I’m sure there are plenty other memories rolling around in the back of my mind but these are the ones I wanted to highlight. Although I don’t know when we’ll reunite next, I have no doubt we’ll continue to support and uphold each other no matter the distance and time. You’ve been such a funny, supportive, insightful, and passionate part of many of my best memories in these past few years. I don’t say it enough but I hope you recognise the influence you’ve had on my life and those of others. Thank you, and I love you <3

Onwards to 2020!

W (December 30, 2019)

[labellerose-acheron]

1,3,5,7,8,9,12,23 for all

1: Do you have a crush at the moment?

Belle: her HUSBANDSimba: BERLIOZZ Toulouse: tbh we don’t fuckin know Bambi: uhhhh theo (but also /whispers: dash)Perdita: paul she guessesSweet: nah not particularly...he did like bridgetteMaui: pfft noAttina: ROBIN!!!!Hercules: all cute pretty nice girls--kiki, elena, georgette, he loves all of them he’s hopeless help himAkela: no :’(Peach: nah she ain’t got time for crushes she’s climbin that social ladderUrsula: hera probably lbr. mel when she meets her... her girls at the court

3: Longest relationship you've ever been in?

Belle: a year on thursday!! w hades obviSimba: two years, end of this month--with berliozToulouse: his marriage lol which when you think about it they only dated for like 3ish months. my poor bab Bambi: theo!! officially for like 2 months, but unofficially for like pffft 6-7?Perdita: paul -- 2ish years where the fuck are theySweet: 6 years, his ex-fiancee fuck you annaliseMaui: neverAttina: her first boyfriend, they dated for like 9 monthsHercules: his girlfriend in egypt he dated her for like 6 monthsAkela: his wife I CRY they were married for like 15 yearsPeach: lol phillip so like 3 monthsUrsula: has never had a steady relationship

5: How is your relationship with your ex?

Belle: doesnt really have an ex? i mean she went on a few dates in secondary, then there was adam...they never dated tho but that relationship is a bit strained Simba: his second girlfriend and him are still on good terms, they don’t ever talk but they’ll like occasionally like a big life event of the others. his last bf tho ahha he hates andrewToulouse: lol he pretends she doesn’t existBambi: doesn’t have an exPerdita: well they’re back together now so great! (hates her first bf and will punch him in teh face if she ever sees him.)Sweet: if there was a person sweet hated, it’d be annalise. since she outed him as a magick and made him lose his job.Maui: doesn’t have oneAttina: heh well she erased his memories so, that’s,, not goodHercules: they still keep in like--vague touch. Akela: doesn’t have an exPeach: doesn’t have an exUrsula: doesn’t have an ex

7: Have you ever cheated?

Belle: no.Simba: hell no. but been cheated on (by like lol most his relationships)Toulouse: would never tbh; has also been cheated on (tho #unconfirmed)Bambi: no but lowkey probably wouldPerdita: nope. but guys have cheated on their gfs w herSweet: probably he tries not to think about itMaui: nope but def has slept w girls who have bfs. has tried to be mroe careful these days bc #prnightmareAttina: lol all the time, literally every relationship if they didn’t just dump her from the startHercules: no!! my pure baby how could u do that to himAkela: nope! his wife and him loved each other v muchPeach: no but she’d def cheatUrsula: nah but has seduced ladies away from their husbands

8: Would you date someone who's well known for cheating?

Belle: no, she already has trust and abandonment issuesSimba: he would have to consider it, but if he really loved the person, yesToulouse: nope. cheaters are vile.Bambi: sure why not--just don’t cheat on mePerdita: sureSweet: not if like--everyone knows about it and it’s obvious but if his partner like confessed they had done it in the pastMaui: eh sureAttina: definitely not lolHercules: probably he’s so sweetAkela: certainly notPeach: eh sureUrsula: if you cheat on her she’ll do really bad things to you so yeah, she would date a cheater but fuckin watch it

9: What's the most important part of a relationship?

Belle: having someone you can depend on and share your life with; who loves and supports you and encourages you to be betterSimba: love--everything about it: snuggles and kisses and sharing a life together and going places together and having a person that’s yours and you’re theirs.Toulouse: trust. companionship. loyalty.Bambi: is too young really to know the meaning to this questionPerdita: a partner in crime.Sweet: understanding, companionship, pure, unadulterated love, chosen family, wanting to help each other achieve greatness. Maui: sex.Attina: having a person who is loyal to you and who loves you for who you are and accepts you and family!! of course!Hercules: companionship. unflappable loyalty.Akela: a mate. a partner. a family.Peach: status.Ursula: relationships are for weak people

12: How many people have you ever hooked up with?

Belle: kissed 4 or 5; slept with 1Simba: slept with probably around ehh 20 (if we don’t count the cross-europe depressed-sex-a-thon that number drops down to like 7-8)Toulouse: jesus i don’t even know so many, like 20ish is probably a good number could be more, def not less he’s been hooking up continuously since he was like 14.Bambi: virgin bab but he’s kissed uhhhhhh 3 now? /squints ber, theo, why do i feel like there was someone elsePerdita: the number scares me tbh 30+Sweet: a solid 10 probablyMaui: he’s making his way up to 20ishAttina: kissed around 20 probably, slept with 2Hercules: kissed around 3, slept with 1Akela: has only ever been sexually involved w one personPeach: kissed 1, lil virginUrsula: lots man, lots.

23: How many relationships have you had? 

Belle: one, with her HUSBANDSimba: 5! if we are just counting his ~official relationships and not like cute little kid ones. Catherine (dated for 6 months --16), Kamaria (dated for 10 months--17-18), Megan (dated for a little under a year 19), Andrew (20-21), and Berlioz (24~)Toulouse: 2, with Anita (dated for about 3 months) and there was probably some girl when he was like 16 idk let’s name her Sabine, sure. they dated for a summer so 3 months.Bambi: 1, with theo--currentPerdita: 2, one with her ex when she was 15 connor...i think that was his name.../checks yes i was riGHT they dated for like 6 months. then paul, obviously.Sweet: i’d sayyy 6? probably. his first relationship was a girl, named -- julia (dated about a year--17-18), dated someone in college probably the whole time bc sweet is a long term relationship kinda guy, let’s call herrr alexandra (dated about 3 years 20-23); his first male relationship was in med school so he was like 25, they dated about 2 years probably -- raymond was his name. then uhh he was p busy for a while, didn’t date again until he was like 30, that’s when he met his ex-fiancee, they dated from the time he was like 30-35 i think that works w my timeline /squintsMaui: never datedAttina: im just gonna list them bc it’s exhausting: Ross, Collin, Warren, Jamie, Dylan, Randall, Jamie, Tyler, Aaron, Oscar, Liam, Stewart, Anthony (these are in reverse chronological order)Hercules: neith, from egypt, they dated when he was 16-17Akela: his WIFEYPeach: phillip.Ursula: lots of hook ups