#being called a cheater bc it’s ok for her to do whatever w whoever but when it was me it’s cheating was just 2 much

[menalez]

Peak story time please!!!

What was the first thing that peaked you, and when did you peak (not just specifically “peak trans,” but anything “peak patriarchy”)?

okay so in terms of like “peak patriarchy” tbh it’s hard to pick one moment. i grew up in a pretty patriarchal society & country. i was already pretty sick of it from a young age bc i was basically getting called a whore, being harassed, & getting pressured by ppl within my society (luckily not my family) over me not wearing the hijab. when i was in my early teens, i faced rape & most ppl i had opened up to (most being close friends) either said it was my fault or called me a liar or basically minimised what my rapist did like it’s not a big deal to rape someone. again, was called a whore & harassed for that. then i had this one guy as a remaining friend & lucky me, happens to be a guy who had a crush on me for 4 years at this point & was persistent despite repeated rejection. eventually i felt bad and powerless bc rejecting him didn’t mean anything to him, he was arguing im “still his girlfriend” (when i said im not with him & do not want to be) and he said maybe to ME we rnt together but to him we r. anyways after putting up with that for a while, i ended it for the 50th time & he said “is it bc ur a lesbian” and i said yes. 6 months later he sends me flowers to my place in bahrain (his brother delivers it to me) & i was like wtf. so i had to end it again. and again. by that point i was pretty fed up honestly but eventually i got him to leave me alone bc he said like “stay pls maybe i can change your mind ;(“ and i said he cannot and then said if my mind changes ill hit him up. i already knew my mind wouldn’t be changed lol bc i tried not to be a lesbian for long enough to know it’s just not possible. but at least that somehow convinced him to leave me alone. but then when i was done w that situation & opened up about being a lesbian online, i got repeatedly hassled on whether id date a trans woman etc & about penises. i was a tra and was like no unm id totally date a trans woman but not with a penis bc im penis-repulsed. and ofc then i got hassled w messages like “isnt that terfy / transphobic” so at this point im like what the fuck. here’s where i started to peak. anyways like a year or two later i have my first gf right and she’s a massive TRA. im still leaning towards the TRA side but talking vocally about how sex exists & so does sex-based oppression & that lesbians are allowed not to like penis. anyways my then-gf pressures me into an open relationship & says it’s bc my body is like “too perfect” & it makes her insecure and she hates her body etc. she says that she was told that polyamory can help solve her body image issues & was convincing me of how it’d work. i was skeptical and not for having an open relationship but like how can u say no to someone u love telling u that ur the reason for their insecurities & that u can help them simply by letting them fuck other ppl??? so i was like okay fine. immediately my ex dates like 3 other ppl at once, 1 of them being a trans woman. i was against this n was like how’s this meant to help w ur body image issues … this person literally has a penis and a completely body from u… n my ex was tryna convince me that it does help somehow. anyways the trans woman wants desperately for us to become a throuple. writin detailed fantasies about me to my then-gf, made a Facebook profile set in bahrain with an arabic name with a hentai profile pic, etc. eventually my ex says “oh but i don’t think she’d be into that, she’s penis repulsed” and the tw goes all :( aw what a shame :( i hope she gets help for this :( and my ex agrees. my ex then tells me about this non-chalantly. im like erm ok… then a week later i text my ex and i say that the whole thing rly upset me. they both then proceed to gaslight me that im crazy & it’s not like that & im such a misandrist & i should be able to love trans women bc they’re women and what’s in their pants doesn’t matter. my ex switches between telling me that i should undergo some genital “exposure therapy” and telling me such therapies aren’t useful so it’s not like they want me to go there. i stand down eventually. probs peak trans there