#beloved yucky boys

[itsabouttimex2]

Y/N’s not the Beloved?

(At least, not at first)

Thinking so hard about Y/N just… not being the “beloved” in the yandere dynamics, and instead being the “neglected” party.

Just, like-

It’s not that Sun Wukong and Macaque don’t love you for being their precious adopted kiddo, but… you’re “just” a person, and you don’t have a tail or fur to groom like them. You can’t climb as well as they can, and you don’t have fangs. And you just aren’t strong enough to keep up.

So there’s this inherent disparity, and you feel sometimes more like a guest than a member of the family.

But then MK’s rock comes along! And then it hatches and there’s a new little monkey in the family for them dote on! They have a new baby, one that’s just like them!

In a way that you just… aren’t.

You just can’t compare. Sure, they still love you- you’re never hungry or cold, your clothes are plentiful, and they still support your interests, but…

They just don’t love you like they love him.

Because MK gets the nicest things, in all the ways you didn’t. He gets brand new clothes just right for a growing boy with a true form that fractures in and out of existence. But many of your “new” clothes have to be hastily sewn up because they’re hand-me-downs from Papa, and they had ear and tail slits- they were made for Mystic Monkeys, after all!

(And you aren’t one of them, no matter how hard you try to be.)

And MK gets his favorite foods and snacks whenever he asks, no matter how far Baba has to travel or how many stores his clones have to trawl to find those illusive treats. And when he digs in, you think of the times Papa taught you to “appreciate” his hard work in the kitchen by making you eat every bite of a meal he made, even if you gagged and coughed through it… but MK gets full impunity to have sides replaced whenever he decides a food is “yucky” without even trying it.

You got gifts for being well-behaved or accomplishing goals, but MK gets them for simply asking. You got money by doing extra chores or babysitting the mountain monkeys. MK is given it because your dads are in a good mood.

Not to mention how many of your hobbies and free days are undermined because you “need” to babysit the favorite child.

So on, and so forth.

And then one day it all grinds to a peak and you can’t take the favoritism anymore, so you eventually have the quietest messy breakdown known to man in the ungodly hours of the morning. When you finally manage to pull yourself together, the decision is promptly made- with a tightly-packed bag in tow, you sneak out through a window, clamber down the house walls, and disappear beyond the horizon.

And Macaque and Wukong are devastated, obviously. Sure, you aren’t the “beloved”, which is clearly MK, but you’re still their baby!

BUT! It gets even worse, because for all the worry in their hearts, MK is even worse!

He throws tantrums and rejects food and has uncontrollable fits where he bites bloody marks into his arms through hysteric tears. And even when the kiddo isn’t screaming his bloodied little mouth off, it’s only to scream for you to come back.

So, while they would’ve always made an honest effort to bring you back home (this is your home, even if it doesn’t always feel like it), having their “beloved” child start to genuinely harm himself over your absence only ramps up the efforts to get their first kid back.

“Open the door,” comes your papa’s tempered voice, barely second after you’ve registered the knock. “C’mon, kiddo. We need to talk.”

His foot meets the wooden door, tapping and testing the strength- not that there was really any question he could clear the flimsy barrier.

Tap. Tap.

At the pause, you drop everything and scramble into the closet, right as Macaque kicks through the door with a huff. The leather of his boot catches the light with a dark gleam, but he retracts it and readies for another blow.

“You in, Mac?”

“Not yet- I missed.”

His next strike lands true, shredding the cheap doorknob out of place so forcefully that it tears through the glass window behind it and disappears into the bushes behind the hotel, entirely flattened into a copper disk.

“Not bad,” cheers Wukong, peering into the wrecked room. “Not bad at all, bud!”

With a hand clasped over your mouth to muffle the sound of shallow breathing, you hunker down and wait- with a bitter thought at how casual they are about all this.

Didn’t they realize how badly hurt you were by the unabashed favoritism, the constant coming in second, the unending isolation?

How could they treat this like a casual outing?

“Alright, bud- pack your bags and put on something warm! We’re heading home!

Just barely you manage to bite back a cry of frustration over this miserable circumstance, expected to return to a home that had essentially shunted you aside.

“C’mon, brat. Did you really think we’d let you spend any more time in this hellhole? The mountain is a lot safer, anyways.”

You don’t even realize that Macaque is reaching into the closet until he has your upper arm in his hold, pulling until you’ve cleared the wooden threshold molding between your sanctuary and the living space.

Barely even on your feet, Wukong is upon you with a scarf, wrapping it tight and finishing with a neat bow.

“You know, MK really missed you,” he sighs, thinking of tantrums that spanned hours and the smell of mold in the kitchen when food the child flung had spilled under the counter and gone unnoticed for far too long.

Why should you care that their baby was suffering?

But whether you care or not (and they’re certainly not waiting for your opinion), they’re going to take you “home”.

With Wukong’s hand to wrap around your shoulders and Macaque’s to grip your wrist, they slowly march the way back to the precious little Mystic Monkey that you’ve come to hate.

And though your heart turns over at the sight of MK wailing on the floor, there’s this strange discomfort that arises when they call it that:

“Y/N is back!”

and it prompts an immediate end of his formerly hysterical waterworks?

Because he runs to you and throws both of his chubby little arms around your legs, demanding that you “never ever leave again!” and both of your dads are right behind him, because their son gets whatever he wants, when he wants it-

And what MK wants is you.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Rebel

Prince!Kylo Ren x Cage Fighter!Reader

Summary: Prince Kylo was a rebel at heart. His grandfather, Emperor Anakin, was on his final limb trying to groom the boy into becoming a good Skywalker, but it seems he was too preoccupied with things outside his duty to care.

Word Count: 9k+

Warnings: fem!reader, alternate universe, slight modern/contemporary world au?, royal family-ish au, enemies with benefits?, smut (sadism, dom/sub dynamic, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, light bondage), kylo is going through a phase ig, yucky smoker!kylo (don't smoke pls), slow burn, typos, etc.

A/N: Felt like cross posting this on AO3 also minors dni you guys arent ready for this because I'm not ready for this HAHAAHHA my brain farts are real. also if there's anything wrong with my star wars lore just roll with it ok it's the beauty of my au world HAHHAH <3 Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx

"Put that out before father sees you."

Kylo looks over his shoulder, pulling away the cigarette from his lips as he blows smoke from his lungs. He looks at his mother and sighs, "my father or your father?"

Leia eyes her son, "Ben-"

"Kylo," he corrects, taking another puff of his smoke.

The crown princess narrows her eyes and with one flick of her finger, the barely burning cigarette shoots out of his fingers, across the hall.

"Bro- what the fu-"

"See," she places her hands on her hips, "you would have been able to stop me if you trained with Luke more often," Kylo's mother offers as she leans into him and sniffs his rank smoker odor, brushing him off as she did.

Leia's son, who towers over her, cringes as he is pat down harshly.

Leia notes, "you reek."

"Stop it," he quips as his shoulder is swatted with way more force than necessary. Kylo curls his arms over himself in protection. She does not relent, and so he calls, "mom!"

Leia sighs and places her hands on her hips, "no, you're right," she looks up at him, "I should just let the emperor catch you," she raises a finger, "and let's be honest. Even if you trained more with Luke," she turns about, " you still wouldn't be able to best me."

The woman marches off, mentally noting to rant to her son's father about him.

Kylo grunts as he watches his mother walk away. By the time she reaches then end of the hall, Kylo rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He pulls out his sleek, silver box of cigarettes and grabs a stick. He turns around as he begins to light the thing lazily pressed between his lips.

He doesn't get to though. His fire is burnt out by the ominous snippy atmosphere and his lighter slips through his fingers.

Immediately, the cigarette falls after, down to his boots and he grows frigid at the sight of the slouching man before him, hand propped on a cane, face concealed in a dark mask.

"Emperor. I-"

"Continue to disappoint?" he speaks through the constraint of his mask, not even raising a finger to get both the fallen objects on the floor as well as the one in Kylo's hands.

The emperor chucks out those hazards through the window, using so much Force that it probably propelled out of orbit. Kylo internally begins to sputter out curses.

"Why are you roaming here in the gardens, killing your grandmother's flowers, boy?" the old man demands, breathing heavily.

Kylo gulps and clenches his hands into a fist.

"Are you not meant to be training with your uncle?" Anakin quips, taking a deep breath as he slowly walks past his grandson.

Kylo tenses and steps aside to allow the emperor passage. He knows better than to do so, and yet he still offers, "do you want some hel-"

"Do you have a death wish?" Anakin wheezes as he heads to the arch in the hall, not even sparing his hulk of a progeny a look. He would have beaten his ass in his prime, he thinks, as he makes his way into the palace garden.

Immediately, Anakin feels a Force around him. He basks in it and Kylo can feel it too, though he thinks the Force is coming from his mother's father.

Anakain swears he can smell the scent of his beloved Padme in this moment. He mentally debates taking his mask off, but decides against it, knowing his child's child will throw a hissy fit, then his actual children will throw another hissy fit.

Kylo does nothing but watch the old man walk off. He thinks of the few memories he has with his grandmother then goes terse all over again when he hears a shout, "GO TRAIN, BOY!"

Kylo releases a breath, "yes sir."

Anakin, after a long while, finally reaches a bench and sits down. He looks at the flowers in the shrubs and bushes around him. He breathes in deeply, as deeply as his mask will allow him then closes his eyes. He pretends he was not himself, rather that he was his younger self. He thinks about his wife and how he would have plucked out a flower for her in this moment.

"Oh, Padme," instead he sighs, "you're grandson is a rebel, my love. I don't know what to do with him," he opens his eyes, "but you would have."

Kylo, at this point, had successfully fled the wrath of his forebears, and was now at the garage, readying his air speeder. He ruffles his black, baggy jeans with infinite pockets and feels his key eventually. He jumps in his vehicle and finds another box of cigarettes in his compartment.

"Thank you, Kylo," he mutters to himself as he gets another stick of nicotine.

He lights his cigarette as he waits for the garage door to open.

But then came a high-pitched beeping noise, and he immediately pulls away the lit stick in his mouth.

R2-D2 rambles on and on in his dings and buzzes in a scolding manner.

Kylo's ears ring. Fucking droid. He rubs his ear then turns to his side. He watches as the robot nears rolls back and forth as it chastises him.

"Can it, tin can."

R2-D2's light becomes red.

Kylo clutches his steering wheel, "if you rat me out to grandpa, I'll turn you into a museum display."

R2-D2 flares even more at the threat.

"Well, I don't give a shit if uncle Luke is waiting for me," he snips back, staring his engine, then driving off. He raises a hand, "later, loser."

R2-D2 loses its marbles.

Kylo drives deep into the capital city, the part that was more commercial and had less military presence. But really, the old man's reach was felt throughout the galaxy. It'd be a matter of time before his fun is over. That's why he intends on having as much fun as he possibly can.

He aimlessly roams for a moment, driving through streets he frequents, and some he doesn't recall he's ever been. He leans on his side and feels the wind blow back his jaw length hair. Then he finds himself parking in a coincidentally free spot on a busy street.

It's destiny, he thinks.

So, he pulls up in the edge of the street and hops out of his air speeder, aimlessly walking around. He pulls out his comms device and sends a message.

From Kylo: where u?

He shoves his comms back in his pocket, keeping his hands stuffed there, knowing he wouldn't get a response from his friend any time soon. He walks to the edge of the street, stops right at a pedestrian lane, then crosses once the light turns green.

As he struts past a conveniece store, he turns to his barely visible reflection and runs his hands through his hair. The street grows increasingly busy as he continues. It's packed with people on the daily their commute, off to work, to school, or to wherever they ought to be. With every being that passes him, human, alien, droid, or otherwise, he slowly feels the paranoia seep in him.

He rubs his nose, 100% sure that that old lady was whispering about him.

He was being watched, he was being looked at, he was being talked about. A work hazard, something you deal with as royalty. He likes to pretend he's better than that, public opinion doesn't matter to him, but he isn't a very good pretender.

He clears his throat, pulls out the shades he always kept handy on him, and puts them on. Suddenly, he's not as paranoid.

In truth, if you knew the faces of the Skywalker clan, not even these large glasses would stop you from recognizing him. But still, he felt better with them on. The only reason he probably did was because the little boy in him still believed the words of his father.

Ben had been 4 or 5 at the time, and had been struggling with the attention from the general public and the press. Han Solo had gave him shades, the very same one he had now, and told him when he had them on, he'd be invisible. It helped that his dad, mom, and uncle were in on it and pretended he was when he'd wear them. The servants were quick enough to follow suit. His grandfather though, ever the cynic, never played the game with him, and always told him to put the ridiculous thing off.

He figured then of course the emperor could see him. He had superior connections with the Force.

Kylo crosses the street.

A group of school girls catch sight of him and stare as he walks by. Once he's gone, they squeal and gush over how handsome he was.

Kylo feels his comms vibrate.

To Kylo: At work. Can't come.

Kylo snorts, then turns to his side when he smells an alluring savory scent. He sees the burrito stand and walks over as he replies.

From Kylo: im getting burritos

Kylo walks to the order window and decides he'll get what he always gets. The employee begrudgingly walks over to the window and leans on the table by the window, "Good morning," she says flatly, "what can I get you?"

Kylo examines at the bandage she has on her brow and the swollenness of her cheek. He knows it'll turn blue soon, but he doesn't say that, "two classic burritos, one of them with extra radish."

She nods and then punches up Kylo's order on the register, "12 credits."

Kylo pulls his head back, "12? It's 4.50 each."

"Not anymore for a long time," she mutters in response, shifting in her spot.

Kylo lets out a breath, thinking it's a ridiculous price, but pays 12 credits nonetheless.

He receives another message.

To Kylo: No.

Kylo snorts yet again at his text mate. He moves to the side and waits for his order. In the meantime, he looks around the block, thinking of what else he can do to amuse himself.

From the corner of his eye, he spots the sign The Death Star, and chuckles under his breath. He uses his Force to try and see what exactly this death star was, and then quickly realizes it was a cage fighting arena.

Kylo smirks.

From Kylo: come to 12th street. we're watching a cage fight in the death star :D

Kylo turns around when he hears his order get called out. He says quick thank you to the man who gives him his burrito. He looks at him and his pudgy form, then examines his knuckes before he pulls away. He spots, seeing no bruise on them. He definitely wasn't the one who punched the lady that worked here.

Kylo then crosses and heads to The Death Star. He looks at his comms one last time before heading for the entrance.

To Kylo: ????

"Moron," he chuckles to himself.

He reaches The Death Star, finding it had a small entrance with guard big enough to block it whole.

"50 credits," the bouncer says to him.

Kylo looks at the man. He was twice as big as the one who worked at the burrito shop. Still, Kylo thinks he could take him.

"Why so expensive?" he asks.

The bouncer rolls his shoulders back, "you got a problem, peasant? Then leave."

He does not like that. The bouncer was on the steps leading up to the door, which was why he was about as tall as Kylo. He wonders if he should force choke him and walk in, but then he feels a buzz from the comms in his pocket and is snapped out of it. He pays the over-expensive door fee then walks in, eating his burrito.

"Just keep walking straight then go down the stairs," the bouncer says, "you can't miss it."

He doesn't miss it. He immediatly spots the stairs, finding it went both up and down. Kylo looks up in curiosity. He figures if he instead went upstairs, there would most definitely be someone there waiting him to throw him down. He simply just descends with his burrito.

Once he reaches the only place the stairs lead to, he surveys the setting, wondering why there were chandeliers and drapes in this foyer when he knows once he gets to the area where the crowds were screaming, there would be a semi-large cage and audience members hollering for blood. Weird.

But then again, his grandpa lived in a palace and he was out for his blood.

He takes it back. It's fitting.

He continues to walk, chewing on his food, then get into the arena, at the very edge of it. It seems the round just finished, considering the reaction of the crowd.

Kylo promptly finds an empty spot, then sits down as he watches the cage get swept. It looks like a droid was shattered after the match.

He chuckles when he imagines it being R2-D2.

It takes a few minutes for the next round to commence, and by the time it does, Kylo's burrito was finished.

At this moment, he pulls out his comms and sees he's received multiple messages. He grins when he sees the one that confirmed that he was, in fact, going to be seeing his friend here at the death star soon.

There is a loud announcement suddenly, and the crowd goes wild. Soon enough two competitors are announced, and Kylo perks up and tilts his head when he sees the face of one of them, you, the burrito lady.

Kylo, is so stunned that has to push his shades down to see if he was seeing clearly. Yep. Still 20/20.

There you were, standing no longer in your burrito-stand uniform, but in fitted shorts and a fitted tank top. You had wraps in your hands and feet, and the marks on your face made total sense now.

Kylo leans back on his seat and pushes his shades up.

You got them from your cage fights.

He finds himself smiling.

Interesting.

"- with 27 wins and 2 losses-"

Hmm, an impressive record.

Kylo cannot help but to cheer with the crowd as it screams for you after you are introduced. An interesting name you had. He'll have to remember that.

Both you and your opponent's hands are raised just before the start of the match.

The prince nods his head and thinks he will enjoy seeing you win or lose today.

Halfway through the match, as Kylo is screaming for you as you bash your knee into your opponent, who was, mind you, twice your size, he is grabbed my the arm and ripped out of his focus.

Kylo turns annoyed then breaks into a smile, speaking loudly over the audience' noise. "Hux! You're just in time." Kylo hands the man the burrito with extra radish, then turns back to the cage, "burrito girl is really good!"

Hux takes the burrito and looks at Kylo, then the cage. The dark haired man clenches his hand into a fist and cheers as the round is called to an end.

The red haired man pulls his head back after beholding the collective protests.

"AW WHAT! SHE TOTALLY WON THAT ROUND!" Kylo snarls against the announcement that your slimy alienoid opponent was the victor for round 3.

Kylo sits back down and cross his arms. Hux sits down next to him and gives him a look, "you're insane, you know that right? D'you know what would happen to us if someone-"

"And you're boring," Kylo retorts, running his hand through his dark locks.

Hux holds back his eyeroll, and shakes his head instead. His ginger, gelled back hair reflects the glaring spotlights in the room. Hux unwraps his burrito and takes a bite, crossing his legs as he did so.

Kylo turns to him, mentally noting he appreciated he came to him right after work, the give away being he was still in uniform. Hux's sharp shoulder pads starkly contrasted the softness of his frumpy sweater, though they were both black.

"Extra radish," he points.

Hux nods and rolls his eyes, "yes," he chews, "thank you, Ben."

Kylo glares at him.

Hux chews some more, then corrects himself, "Kylo."

Kylo turns away, looking back at the cage.

The next round promptly begins and Kylo is visibly excited. He talks over the loud cheers of the crowd, "we're going to meet her after the round."

Hux knits his brows as Kylo stands to his feet and claps for the competitors.

"Meet? Who?"

"Her!" Kylo points to the cage.

Hux looks.

"I paid 500 credits to have her company to ourselves later," Kylo says with a fond smile.

Hux nearly chokes on his burrito, "you what?!"

He is dutifully ignored for the rest of the match.

When the match does end, Hux thinks of Kylo's decisions even more poorly. The prince is incredibly sour, as the match did not end in favor of this burrito girl as he had gotten fond of for no other reason than that he is compulsive.

Hux does not know if he should be mulling over the fact that the girl, who lost the match on a technicality, worked part-time at the burrito shop that made the delicious snack he just ate, or the fact that Kylo, in all his temper and moodiness, was about to meet her when he was extremely disappointed and very emotional over her loss.

Hux, though he knew about Kylo's explosive tendencies, doesn't dare offer to just leave though, considering he basically made himself homeless by paying so much to meet the cage fighter.

That would be funny though, no? A homeless prince.

When Kylo and Hux are let in the back room, the two turn to each other, seeing the poor conditions of the place.

"500 credits dude," you say, standing from the spot you were sat on.

Kylo takes in the cuts and bruises in your form, agreeing with himself that, considering the violence you exacted and received in the ring, you looked extremely well, and came out mostly unscathed.

"You should have won that round," Kylo says shaking his head. He watches as you smile softly at his words. He feels his chest flutter and decides he enjoys the subtleness of your expression. He would love to make you react the same way again, "that thing outnumbered you with his six arms."

You shrug, toned shoulders glistening with sweat and ointment. Now that he was up close, Kylo could see how fit you were. He licks his lips when he catches your barely visible navel.

"A biological advantage," you retort, "it's not like I can ask him to cut off his arms for me to make it fair."

"Still," Kylo raises a finger, "you should have won."

You shake your head at his words, offering another smile, but no further reply.

Hux surveys the dingy room, thinking if you worked at a burrito stand and a cage fighting job, you must be desperate for credits. He turns to you and straightens up, "you know, with your skills, you could do well as a trooper," the commander says, "you would be paid well, given lodging, health care-"

"So you are an imperialist," you place a hand on your hip and point to him.

Commander Hux tenses. Kylo chews his bottom lip as he holds back a laugh.

I mean, Hux was very visibly an imperialist.

"I thought you just liked imperial fashion on whole other level," you add.

Hux finds himself getting defensive, "is that a problem?"

You tilt your head, "liking imperial fashion or being an imperialist?"

Kylo pretends he's offended and knits his brows, speaking at the same time as his friend, "both."

You look between the two and shake your head, "no. It's just weird to see an actual, I don't know, officer from the regiment spectate a match."

Hux narrows his eyes, "why, is this place illegal?"

You snort, and Kylo beams at the idea.

"I wouldn't have joined this troupe if it was."

Kylo is mildly disappointed, but more so amused by the topic that was spiraling and how Hux was reacting to it. Kylo turns back to you when you point at him, "I remember where I know you from."

Hux feels slightly agitated over the idea the prince was going to be recognized.

Kylo smiles and adjusts his shades, "yes, you took my ord-"

"History class, 204, professor Djarin."

"..."

Hux pulls his head back and looks between Kylo and you.

Kylo is dumbfounded. So much so, he takes off his shades, "you went to Naboo Public State?"

You promptly laugh upon seeing his brown eyes, knowing well how much he rolled them at your shared history teacher, "yeah. Djarin called you Skyslugger cause you were always late."

Hux internally cringes, agitation level skyrocketing, because that does sound like something that would have happened to him in school. That meant, you knew exactly who they both were now, which meant, if you wanted, you could happily talk about how a commanding officer and the prince of the empire went to your cage fight match at a place called The Death Star, and paid 500 credits to speak with you after. Lord, he could already hear General Leia's disappointment in his head.

Kylo snorts, though he was more annoyed at the memory than amused, "damn Din Djarin."

"You never graduated, did you?" you ask.

Hux turns to Kylo, wordlessly telling him not to answer that.

Kylo does anyway, "I didn't, no. Parent's pestering me to re-enroll."

That's enough, Ben, Hux thinks loudly.

You tilt you head, "maybe you should."

Hux turns to you and presses his lips, "hear that, maybe you should!"

Kylo turns to him as Hux slaps his hand on Kylo's shoulder. He glares at Hux, "no."

A beat passes.

You look between the two, "so, what did you want to talk to me about?"

Hux instinctively turns to Kylo, prompting you to do the same.

"Well," Kylo starts, leaning onto one leg, crossing his arms.

Hux recognizes this behavior and then makes a face.

"I honestly wanted to just talk about how I think you deserved to win, and perhaps," he moves slightly closer to you, "to invite you to hang out with us."

Hux shakes his head and raises his hands, "count me out. I have places to be."

"Just you and me then," Kylo smiles softly.

Hux rolls his eyes, he was right. Another day, another plaything. He so very much wants to leave now.

But then, Hux catches the way your face twists. He finds his lips curling into amusement as you furrow your brows. You are clearly uninterested, and suddenly, he is glad that Kylo paid 500 credits just to be here. His rejection will be sweet and deserved.

"Your payment for a meet does not extend to outside endeavors."

Kylo nods, leaning towards you more, "oh, I know. Just wondered if you would be interested in getting a drink."

"Well, I'm not."

"Interested in getting a drink?"

"In you, Prince Ben."

Kylo's face twitches. Hux clears his throat to hold back his laugh.

Kylo doesn't have anything else to say and it is hillarious.

Another beat passes.

You shift in your spot as Hux turns around and laughs in his hand. Kylo rubs his nose and straightens up.

"Is that it?" you ask.

Kylo turns to you, ire beginning to burn, "what?"

"Is that all you wanted?" you clarify, waving a hand. "I mean, you paid 500 credits, I can show you around the place if you like."

Hux turns back around and smiles, "oh, please, do. That would be lovely."

Kylo clenches his jaw, "no. I saw everything I needed to see already."

Hux makes a soft oof sound and indulges himself with a chuckle.

"I'm a force user," Kylo says, "I used my Force Sight to see."

"Ah," you nod.

Hux turns to you and nods, "I stand corrected, I think we will both be leaving now."

You purse your lips and shrug, "suit yourself."

Kylo releases a huff. You knit your brows when he nods to you in regard, "burrito girl."

You blink at him, "500 credits dude."

Hux watches as you curtsy at Kylo. He shakes a hand and his head, mouthing, "he doesn't like that."

You straighten up and watch as the two then walk out of the room.

"Oh, if you ever want to apply as a troop, tell them you were recommended by commander Armitage Hux."

You raise your brows at that, "your name is Armitage?"

Hux makes a face at your expression, "what? Why?"

"Nothing it's just, you don't look like-"

"Hux, let's go."

You turn to Kylo, who just walked out of the room.

"Just call me Hux, everyone calls me that."

You purse your lips then nod.

"Goodbye then," Hux waves and follows after his friend.

As Kylo and Hux exit the room, then the arena, the latter notes, "well that was fun."

Kylo ignores him.

Hux chuckles, "oh, come on. She was a good fighter. You said it yourself."

Kylo grunts.

"I especially enjoyed it when she defeated you."

Kylo glares at Hux. Hux grins from ear to ear.

"Do you want me to demote you?" Kylo groans.

"You can't demote me, prince Ben," Hux says a-matter-of-factly as they climb up the stairs.

Kylo eyes Hux as he ascends before him then uses his Force to make him trip on the steps.

As Hux nearly faceplants, barely catching himself with his hands as he crashes down, Kylo steps over him and continues climbing up.

"BEN!"

Kylo hisses harshly, "don't call me that."

Kylo leaves Hux, deciding he deserved it for being annoying. He thinks he'll go get drinks by himself since no one cared to keep him company.

He nearly breaks his comms after all the ruckus it made while he was brooding in a booth at a lounge he frequented. He doesn't destroy it though. It wasn't his to break. It was a gift from his uncle. His mother refused to get him a new one after breaking countless ones before this one. Luke made him swear to keep it intact.

Kylo abandons his booth to get himself another drink after finishing his nth cocktail.

This time around, with his tiny martini glass in hand, complete with a paper umbrella, he decides he's going to dance, even if he was tipsy and, frankly, hated dancing, especially those folkdances his mother and grandmother taught him and made him do every moment they could. Fuck that shit.

Kylo puts the umbrella stick in his hair just by his ear and chugs his drink as he walks to the crowded dancefloor.

He raises both of his hands and sways his hips on beat as he sifts through the creatures dancing to insanely loud music.

He randomly taps someone's shoulder and hands them the glass, which they stupidly accept, allowing Kylo to break it down and boogie freely with no glass to think about. Only his dark glasses.

By break it down and boogie, of course, I meant Kylo was flailing his head and arms around, pivoting his shoulder and belly to the music. Was it good? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

He feels a bunch of people come onto him, grinding on him or dancing with him. He lets them. When they tell him they should take their dancing somewhere else, he refuses.

Eventually, he's turned down a bunch of people and is left alone.

With his forehead damp with sweat, he exits the dance floor when the music changes to something slow.

He decides to get himself another drink.

"Never knew you had that in you, Ben."

He cringes before he even sits down. He turns to the woman in a pink dress next to the stool at the bar he was about to sit on. He feels his brows pull up at the sight of her.

"Don't call me that, burrito girl," Kylo quips as he calls for the bartender.

You furrow brows further, leaning on the bar top, "call you what? Your name?"

Kylo is served another cocktail, the only one he ever orders, without needing to say it. He thanks the bartender as he downs his drink.

You raise your brows at him, watching some of the liquid spill from his corners of his mouth.

Kylo turns to you, wiping his lips, "don't call me Ben."

You blink, "so... you want to me to call you 500 credits dude?"

"Kylo," he retorts, as he racks his brain. He can't seem to remember what he's looking for though, so he asks, "what was your name again?"

You give him a once over before responding.

When he hears your name, Kylo shakes his head, thinking, truly, the only time he heard it was during the match earlier today, "I really don't remember you."

You chuckle, "yeah, more so now than ever."

Kylo looks at the bright pink dress on your body and thinks it looks good on you, "you change your mind then?"

You take a sip of your drink and turn to him, "what?"

"You come here knowing it's where I'd be?" Kylo leans forward.

You raise a brow at him, "no. I came here to meet someone but I got stood up."

Kylo chuckles, "serves you right."

"Excuse me?" you tilt your head.

Kylo grins and stands, "you're excused."

Kylo walks off and heads for the dancefloor again even though the music was still slow. Why? Because fuck it. He was down to slow dance with strangers.

You take your turn to survey Kylo as he drunkenly moves to the dancefloor. He was incredibly large and even through his baggy clothes, you could tell he was quite athletically built. You turn away just before he catches you looking.

The entire time he dances, Kylo's eyes isn't closed like how they were a while ago. He was looking at you, faced to the bar, hunched over in a pretty pink dress, waiting for no one.

Pathetic. You should be dancing here with him.

He dodges a two headed alien that asks if he wants to have a good time and walks back to you.

He calls out your name and grabs your arm, making you turn to him from your seat with a glare that would have intimidated him, but he was drunk, and he could so take you... in more ways than one.

"Forget about that loser. He's not into you. I am. Dance with me."

You gotta hand it to him. He is confident. But then again, it'd be embarrassing to be in line for the throne and not be.

You take a moment to wonder how Kylo could possibly know you were waiting for a guy then decide he was just good at guessing, not that you looked pathetic right now. You pull your arm out of his grasp, "haven't we established I don't like you?"

"Yeah," Kylo scoffs, placing his hands on his hips, "well, I don't like you either."

You narrow your eyes at him, "why do you want me to dance with you then?"

"Because this is what lounges are for!" Kylo flails his hands out, "not for sulking."

You roll your eyes at him and turn away.

Kylo raises a finger and uses his Force to spin you around. When you realize this is what he did, you stand and look up at him, eyes devoid of any amusement, "you know, I don't care who you are. You're seriously pushing your luck right now."

Kylo enjoys a good conflict. He shakes his head the way drunk people do and raises a finger, "if you're going to waste your time waiting on someone you already know stood you up, wouldn't it be better for him to walk in on you having so much fun rather than looking miserable?"

You clench your jaw at his words and tense when he grabs your wrist and pulls you to the dance floor.

This time, you do not refute him, though you drag your feet on the way.

"Only to make him jealous," you say, walking close to Kylo.

Kylo makes a gagging sound, "how corny of you."

You shove him back, and Kylo is taken off guard by how strong you actually are. He collides into a group of people, who promptly shove him back towards you. You grunt as you catch him, keeping him upright.

"You're wasted," you hiss.

Kylo grins, "no, I'm Kylo."

You roll your eyes, pushing him away with less force, then turn around and leave him there.

Kylo grabs your arm before you can walk away any further .To his surprise, you do not repel him and easily fall back into his arms.

"We're meant to dance not to-"

Kylo shuts himself up when you speak a name that is not at all his.

He lifts up his eyes and sees a man looking at you with contempt. Before he can think, you shove him away and walk over to loser. The man eyes Kylo as you walk with him.

Kylo feels a headache coming on. He just stands there in the middle of the crowd, sticking out like sore thumb with how large and unmoving he was, waiting for the headache to come. To his luck, it doesn't.

He decides to go to the bathroom then settle his bill.

He busts open the men's bathroom door, cringing at the sound of moans that come to a halt when he enters. He quickly washes his hands and walks out, pulling out his comms device, sending a message to multiple people to have him get picked up.

He decides to drink some more as he waits.

He downs about three more cocktails before paying his dues and coming to terms with the fact no one was going to pick him up.

He sighs and drunkenly gets out of the lounge, gracelessly bumping into some people along the way.

He is surprised to see a pretty pink dress when he gets out to the curb.

Kylo calls out your name and hears you gasp.

When you turn to him, he swears he sobers up a fraction at the sight of your red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

He coughs and shifts on his spot, "you want me to kill him?" He points to no where.

You knit your brows and cross your arms, "what?"

"I can kill him for you," Kylo mutters.

You make a face and shake your head rapidly, "are you insane?"

"Yes," he mutters, "I don't like it when girls cry over guys-" he brushes his nose, "-s'why I don't date."

For a prolonged moment, you stare at Kylo, at this drunken Ben Solo, second in line to the Skywalker Empire, the same one who laughed at your joke that one time during lunch. You feel incredulous to the events that has transpired.

You weren't shocked that he didn't know you from university. For starters, he was a chronic repeater, turned drop out, which was insane to think considering he let the class copy off his exams, setting a new curve because of how many of them aced that test.

Ben Solo was the cool kid with bad habits, and he hung out with troopers in his spare time, which meant he didn't really know anyone beyond his circle.

And this Kylo persona was just the same as the Ben you once knew. Bigheaded, loud, and rebellious, with streaks of genuinity and thoughtfulness who wouldn't expect from him.

He was a loose canon in other words. This was why you didn't like him, why every time people would gush about him, you'd let yourself think opposite because nothing ever came out of liking a guy like him.

You ask through your clogged sinuses, rather out of context, "why can't I call you Ben?"

Kylo runs his hands through his hair, the umbrella he left there falls on the floor, "cause I don't like him."

"You don't like Ben?"

He shakes his head, "don't wanna be him."

A group of people exit the lounge the next moment, prompting Kylo to walk over to you to make way. You narrow your eyes at his answer and wipe your face. He probably meant he doesn't want to assume his roles as a prince.

You find yourself chuckling.

Everyone's got their own thing, you think.

"You're drunk," you mutter, making him turn to you.

"I'm Kylo," he repeats once more, making you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, I got that, prince."

Kylo grumbles, looking away from you, "shut up."

The word triggers you, because the man you thought you loved and would love you back just spoke the same words to you a while ago. You look at him, emotions flaring up all over again. They manifest in rage and contempt, "no."

Kylo turns back to you, face fully annoyed.

"It's the truth, isn't it?" you stab, "why do I have to shut up about it?"

Kylo shakes his head and let out a deep breath. The smell of alcohol makes you pull back, "now I really don't like you."

You scoff, "well I really don't like you either."

"I didn't even do anything to you," he raises a finger, "and you rejected me?" he retorts in full offence.

You pull your head back at his words.

He begins to trail off, "what? Was I a jerk to you in uni? I wouldn't have been because I barely talked to anyone there, so I know you're just being spiteful."

Is he really on about that? You make a face, "have you never been rejected before."

"Of course I've been rejected," he sputters out, "just not without unfounded reason."

You cannot believe what you're hearing, it was like this moment really was a reply of your earlier encounter.

"Are you trying to say I'm being senseless?"

Kylo scoffs, "I'm saying you getting dumped is the universe balancing itself out."

You let out a dry laugh, "wow," you step on his foot, making him reel back in pain, "asshole!"

Kylo nearly topples over as he pulls his leg back and grunts, "you little shit!"

You very much walk away after that. You manage to storm to the edge of the street before you can't move at all anymore.

It takes the honking obnoxious sounds of Kylo coming near for you to realize it was all his doing.

He comes over like a siren, screaming out in the otherwise quiet street, "give me one good reason why I shouldn't shoot you out into orbit right now."

You turn to him, feeling just a fraction of a tinge of fear rise up into because he was from a line of powerful Force users after all. But then you remember Ben Solo was all bark and hardly any bite. You scoff, "well, for starters, I don't think you could even if you wanted to."

Kylo laughs. It's honestly pretty dark it makes your skin break out with gooseflesh.

"If you could, you'd have done it by now-" you choke on your last word. Literally, Kylo force chokes you up until he gets close enough to press his hand on your throat.

In all honestly, you were in a damning situation, and yet you were more focused on the way he licked his lips, grit his teeth, and rubbed his fingers on your skin. That, and the fact that you still could actually breathe through the pressure he was putting on you.

You felt your stomach roll.

He pulls you close to him, and before you can think of fighting back, he uses his force to keep your body pinned in place.

He releases you altogether and gives you a once over, "don't underestimate the things I can do."

Kylo looks at the cut on your lip, drawn over with lipstick. He thinks of licking the color off, "the things I want to do to you."

Your heart skips a beat. You huff, hands shooting to his sides the moment he releases you from his Force hold.

His other hands comes to your neck. He tilts your head up at him.

You heave, "and what do you want to do with me... Ben?"

He hisses, "put out that glint in your eye," he steps forward, pressing his fingers into my scalp, "make you beg."

You feel your stomach roll.

It amplifies when Kylo traces the injuries on your face with his fingers.

Needless to say, Kylo was wholly surprised but fully pleased when you got back to your place and didn't put up much a fight against him.

He was a kinky fucker, making you get on your knees, making you do his every whim, making you call him sir.

You figured pretty quickly that he probably craved to be in control, considering how bossy he was. Kylo figured the opposite for you, considering how readily you were to be told what to do.

He fully enjoys making you undress him, especially with all the lip worship you gave on his burning skin. He half regrets making you undress yourself, considering how satisfying it was to see you strip. He would have loved it more had he done it himself. Maybe next time.

He massages your body the moment your bare. He makes it a point not to press on your bruised skin, but then the inner sadist in him felt his insides ignite at the whimper that left your lips when his hand brush over your swollen hips.

"Kylo," you moaned as he kneaded at your sides while he trailed kisses down your sternum.

He lifts his head, smirking as you tugged at his hair, asking for his attention.

"Yes, my sweet?"

With you pressed beneath him on your bed, you buck your hips upward into him. He feels his cockiness double with your neediness.

"I'm gonna have to hear you beg, baby girl," Kylo muses, "that's our deal."

You whimper, "please."

Kylo is insufferable. He grabs your bare thighs and pulls them apart, rubbing himself in your already sopping heat. He pouts, feigning confusion, "please what?"

"Please, sir," you whine.

He laughs, asking again, "please sir what?"

"Please, sir, do something."

How desperate. Adorable.

Kylo sighs and nibbles on your breast as you tighten your legs around him, "hmmm, let me take my time."

Your soft flesh reluctantly retreats out of his mouth as you force his head off you by lifting it up. Your nipple is grazed out of Kylo's teeth as you shimmy beneath him, pushing your way down against his wishes, wanting nothing more than to be aligned on him.

You want to be a brat? Game.

Next thing you know you're paying your dues, pressed on your knees, hands bound to the bed with his belt as he lets your needy core drip down your parted thigh as he barely touches you with his fingers.

"One more time," Kylo coaxes as you sob and whine.

"I'm sorry, sir," you sigh in defeat, eyes watering at the edging.

Kylo shushes you, though he laughs and shifts behind you. Your body jolts you feel him grab your hips that have been tirelessly hanging in the air, waiting for this very moment to come to pass.

"Now, remind me what you want again?" Kylo says as he brushes the tip of his length against your entrance.

You let out a pathetic cry, feeling your core flutter in anticipation. You desperately cry out his name.

He appreciates it, but it isn't an answer. He tells you this exactly.

"Need you," you mutter, "need you to fuck me."

Kylo's ego is through the roof. "Need me to fuck you?" he repeats, though he does not give away how much that strokes his ego.

He does not forget your lack of respect though, "where's that sir, baby?"

You nearly sob as you repeat yourself, "need you to fuck me, sir."

You let out a lewd noise when you feel him slowly push into you.

You immediately try to fuck yourself onto him, but you're too delirious, and he's too strong for you to follow through. Kylo locks you in place, pulling you tightly against him, "hold on, pretty girl. Don't ruin this for me. Need you to calm down and take me well."

All you can do is pull at your bounds, further helping the bruises form there for visibly.

"Kylo," you groan in an empty threat and desperate plea.

"Okay, okay," he chuckles, slowly beginning to move.

You graciously moan in response.

He immediately quickens his pace.

Your noises grow louder.

Kylo wonders about your neighbors. He smiles and decides he doesn't care though. The next moment he thrusts into you so punishingly, as if it was a punishment. But no it felt so good.

Your bodies slamming against each other makes your bed creak in distress as it, itself, ruts into the wall behind its headboard.

You drool on your arm as you breathe hotly against it.

Kylo drives you further into insanity by rubbing into clit.

Needless to say, the next thing you know, you're making even more of a mess and your legs begin to give out as he continues to brutalize into your tenderness.

You come around him with a frantic cry and feel your body quake and tighten around him.

The ripples of ecstasy continue to ride out and heighten when Kylo comes inside you, pouring all his heat, frustration, and want into you.

He basks in your wetness the way you bask in his hardness. Your toes curl and your air leaves you. Kylo's rigid thrusts continuously grow sloppier.

A few moments pass and you both go putty.

You very much remember going for a less intense, more intimate round two after, with him leaning against your headboard and you maneuvering up and down him as your chests pressed together. You very much also remember Kylo curling into you later that night.

What you don't remember was ever kissing him, or feeling him get up to leave the morning after.

So it was a big fuck you when you saw him later that day, with his stupid ass shades in the middle of the afternoon as he whimpered over a ticket.

You made a mental note of the make and plate number of his air speeder next time he makes a mistake of parking it here.

The truth was, Kylo had been waiting for you at the burrito store, not knowing you didn't have a shift that day, and once the pudgy guy, a funny guy honestly, name Marley, told him he couldn't loiter there, he bought a burrito and asked where you were. Marley told him that you didn't have a shift today, so then he made Marley promise to pass a message to you. Kylo trusted him to tell you that he wanted to apologize for leaving.

That fucking summit earlier today was so fucking boring.

And Marley did mean to pass the message on, it's just that he forgot after taking so many burrito orders.

So it came as an even bigger fuck you when Kylo came to your match that same day, cheering you on.

What you wouldn't do to have him trapped in this cage with you.

You made it a point to tell the guys at The Death Star, not to let 500 credits dude anywhere near your changing room later that day, nor to let him in the place again, in fact, unless he was willing to pay 500 credits as a door charge.

So the next day, guess who wastes 500 credits trying to get into The Death Star for absolutely no reason?

Kylo does.

You didn't even fight that day.

The day after that, he has half the brain to go to the burrito stand again instead.

You nearly lunge at him and the stupid shades propped on his pointed nose through the window when he says, "you made your guy charge me 500 credits as a door fee?"

"Sorry, I only do burritos here," you quip back, "don't know what you're talking about."

Kylo brings out some units, "20 burritos then," he raises a finger, "I'll give a tip only if they're made by you."

You growl at him, nearly swatting the credits off the window sill, "the fuck do you need 20 burritos for?"

"I have a family!" Kylo calls back.

"And you're their burrito provider?" you scoff back.

"I am, actually," Kylo growls, "this is the only place in the capital that has nice burritos!"

Marley overhears this and pushes you aside, "why thank you, Kylo."

Kylo turns to him, clearing his throat, "it's not really a compliment. It's my opinion."

Marley beams, "and a great one! You know, I've been meaning to tell you, you look so much like our star prince, Prince Ben Solo."

You watch as Ben Solo cringes and waves his hand, "trust me, we look nothing alike."

You scoff at him.

Marley doesn't get to refute that as suddenly, he remembers something and turns to you, "oh," he gasps, "that reminds me. Kylo was here when you didn't have a shift and said he wanted to speak to you."

You pull your head back, "what?"

Kylo's eye twitches, "wait, are you saying you didn't pass my message to her?"

Marley turns to Kylo, "well, I was stacked up with burrito orders-"

The ding of an alarm from behind you indicates that you no longer have to listen to him, as your shift just ended.

You're not dealing with this.

You immediately hang up your apron and promptly leave, heading out the back, trailing down the narrow alley.

Before you could even reach the end of the exit, you jolt back when you see a heaving Kylo run up to you and block your passage.

You glare at him, watching his adam's apple bob as he gulped. You, yourself, gulp at that.

"I had to leave because I had a duty early in the morning," he rushes out.

You huff and push past him, shoving him back. Again, he forgets about your strength, not that he remembers much about that night beyond your sweet sounds, and is shocked when he nearly topples back.

Kylo does feel something familiar with how he uses his Force to keep you from walking away.

"Kylo, I will fucking deck you, I swear to--"

"I didn't think of leaving a note because I panicked and I'm an idiot."

Kylo circles around you and raises his hands in surrender. He accepts the consequence of you decking him if you really meant to once he removes his Force hold.

You sigh deeply, but don't bash his head against the pavement. He is grateful for it.

"So," Kylo starts, "do you still hate me?"

You narrow your eyes at him and scoff, "what is that? An apology with no apology?"

Kylo watches you walk off and chases after you, not at all convincingly responding with a, "I'm sorry!"

To be fair, even he could tell that he sounded more confused that apologetic.

"Take a hike, Ben."

Kylo growls. He pulls his shades off and manages to stand in front of you. He clenches his jaw and points with his glasses, "you know what. I hate you too."

Your face contorts. You scoff, "great," you force a smile, moving on.

He blocks you again when you sidestep, "you have made me spend thousands of credits in such a short span of time."

You sidestep once more, only to have him block you.

"I never asked you to do any of that!"

"So you're not sorry," Kylo narrows his eyes.

"Not at all," you gleam.

"Then that fucking does it!" he barks.

You look up at him as he seethes.

He steps forward, "you hate me, cause I'm an dick, and I hate you, cause you're a bitch."

You let out an incredulous laugh and feel your insides rage.

You grab him, intent on seriously hurting him, but it seems he anticipates it and grabs you right back then spins you over. He pushes you against the wall of the dingy building, pinning you against his body.

He can feel his heart hammering in his chest.

You can feel your heart hammering in yours.

Neither of you can tell the other felt the same.

"Let me go, you fucking-"

"But I'm sure you can't say fucking without thinking of me fucking you, huh," he mutters under his breath as he brings his face near yours.

You tense at his words. You feel your breathing strain after.

Kylo's lips barely curve.

Defiantly, yet halfheartedly, you mutter under your breath, "fuck you."

He leans in and rubs his nose against your ear, "that can be arranged."

When Kylo releases you, you shove him back and walk off.

He heaves as he watches you storm away. He releases a breath in annoyance and licks his lips, finding himself gritting his teeth at his shoes. He got all worked up for nothing?

"Hey!"

Kylo lifts his head

"You better keep watching my matches," you say, turning to him as you walked back, "I get a cut from the door charge."

Kylo shifts in his spot. He does not show how he is pleased to know you want him to come to you again, "that 100% markup is cruel."

You shrug, "well, I hate you, so..."

Kylo holds back his laugh, "you'll pay for that, pretty girl."

You ignore the way your stomach rolls at his pet name. "Make me," you mock, turn away, then walk off, "see you, Ben."

Kylo scoffs, "oh, I'll make you."

[mx-myth]

Mlc au where li lianhua just. Doesn't re-enter the jianghu. He has a couple of Big Realisations and disassociates so hard that li xiangyi is permanently dead now and he's not touching that shit with a ten foot pole.

He still meets fang duobing except they meet during on of fdb's probationary cases because he's like, sprained his wrist. He's also bleeding a lil' bit everywhere so when he sits down at the booth where llh has set up shop llh is like who is this yucky boy. Fdb is like daifu I'll pay you x amount of money to heal me. Llh ups his first impression to yucky rich boy.

Anyway it turns about when llh isn't there to guide him fdb is really reckless. But guess what! He always meets li-daifu wherever his case is! Isn't it a miracle? (Llh is long-suffering. Why does this (his, unfortunately) yucky little rich boy keep coming back to him)

Very soon fdb starts giving him gifts instead of money (because he has no money management skills). He starts off small like flowers and little soaps then desserts and then suddenly he's showing up with a set of fancy robes for llh (who had seen fdb looking at him all intently when he was estimating his measurements and thought he was checking him out. It was the start of a minor - soon to be major and ongoing - crisis) (but it turns out he likes the fucking robes).

At some point fdb runs into A Spot during one of his cases and declares, to everyone in the vicinity, that he's li xiangyi's disciple. This is overheard by di feisheng's spymaster (I CANNOT remember what his name is) who reports it back to dfs, who is like hmm, interesting.

And obviously, the most logical response here is to kidnap him and announce that he has li xiangyi's disciple held hostage.

Llh hears of this, scoffs because xiaobao can take care of himself, paces for ten minutes, and then grumbles to himself while grabbing his sword and booking it. He bursts onto the scene and it's all like:

Dfs: ...li xiangyi? You're alive?

Fdb: li lianhua-daifu!!! ...why do you have a sword.

Dfs: oh, i get it, you went into hiding. *shaking fdb* is this your new boytoy

Llh: di feisheng! Unhand him, he's a paying customer!

Dfs, nodding: I see. Boyfriend then. But you haven't had the balls to court him properly, huh

They have an argument that is actually just them exchanging small talk. Fdb is slowly dying because this is dfs, villain of the jianghu, so why is he having a reaction to him scruffing him like a kitten? Also, is li-daifu actually li xiangyi???

Long story short about three weeks later dfs arrives for dinner. And then he just. Keeps showing up. The third time he shows up fdb is there also having dinner with llh. They bristle at each other like street cats but eventually it becomes a Thing That They Do.

(In the background dfs is picking up the fucking slack and destroying the whole nanyin revival plot. Fdb keeps unintentionally and accidentally foiling related plots as he takes cases)

(Fdb: I found this in my latest case and I don't know what it is. *holds up the Rama heavenly ice shard or whatever it is*

Dfs: ...it's a screwdriver.

Fdb, who has never seen a screwdriver in his life*: oh, okay *sticks in a drawer of the lotus tower and immediately forgets about it*)

(Dfs thinks it's amusing bordering on ridiculous because fdb just keeps bringing these artifacts back. But he doesn't know what they are and neither does llh so the lotus tower is turning out to be a really safe place to put them)

Also because this version of llh actually knows from the start that he wants to live. He just never actively looked for a cure because he didn't have much to live for in his little life. But now he does so he accepts the Styx flower or whatever dfs finds for him and they all live happily ever after.

(*Edit: oh I'm an idiot. Of COURSE fdb knows what a screwdriver is. He lives with the Queen of Inventing Clever Things (master he my beloved) for god's sake. I think if he knew dfs was lying to him he wouldn't be able to let it go, since we all know how he is. So I don't know what dfs would actually tell him lmao)

[finniestoncrane]

What’s this? I haven’t fallen into your inbox yet?

Time to change that.

Any scarecrows your pick, what’s their dirtiest fantasies

Dirtiest Fantasies

Scarecrow Headcanons my beloved for you anything u-u (and also i wanted to be yucky disgusting about the boys anyway lol) 🎃🧡 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: humiliation and degradation, abuse of authority, teacher/pupil vibes, blood play, knife play, fear play, some cnc, somnophilia OH GOD SO MANY GOOD THINGS

golden age

he feels it's probably not a great thing for him to admit to

given his chosen career path...

but it's just a kink, so let him live omg

so what if he wants you to pretend to be one of his students

a struggling little soul who needs some extra tutoring

and maybe you tell him you'll do anything for him

anything to pass his class

"please professor crane, i want to make you proud"

"you're my favourite professor, i admire you so much"

"i actually... have a little bit of a crush on you haha"

"maybe we could come to an... arrangement?"

the feeling of control, of having you under his thumb

of you needing to please him

that's what's getting him off for sure, all the power play

he might even have you bend over his desk for some spanking

arkham

this jonathan would prefer to have you in a state of agreement

preferably coerced or (agreed to beforehand or not...)

he wants to feel in control, but also needed by you

so his fantasy involves you being lulled into a gentle sleep

and then subjected to his fear toxin, inducing a nightmare

while he watches from the corner of the room

palming his cock as you squirm and whimper in the bed

tears falling in complete terror before he lays down on top of you

you'd do anything to feel some comfort in that moment

even if it's coming in the form of nightmare vision crane

so you'll be likely to let him do what he wants

anything to bring you out of the horrible dream you're stuck in

having you beg him to save you, clinging to him

to look at your face contort in terror and pain

while he empties himself inside of you? perfect

btaa

more fear play, but with a very physical and very lucid twist

he needs you to be fully conscious and completely aware

the fear isn't coming from any drugs or toxin

no no no, he wants to create the fear in you

so you'll definitely be tied up, only a safeword in your arsenal

as he dangles a rather literal sword of damocles above you

vulnerable body exposed to the potential danger

the teasing, the threat, your pulse beating fast as he measures it

maybe it drops a little, maybe it punctures the skin just a tiny bit

and maybe, just to make sure everything is nice and clean

he licks it away, hiding the evidence, like a good criminal

maybe he'll get you to lick the blade clean yourself

because you'd do anything for him right?

mostly out of adoration and devotion... obviously

but also because you know what he's capable of

[amnesiaguy]

to be honest, reducing siken’s you are jeff to just the “you’re in a car with a beautiful boy” stanza is such a disservice to what is one of my most favorite & beloved fucked up poems. have we no love for the identity fuckery with the twins… “god is the space between two men and the devil is the space between two men”… “don’t leave the room until i come back from the dead for you. i will come back from the dead for you”?? the whole poem is mounting anxiety about the teetering construct of the self that builds into panic by the last stanza, most of it concerned with the blurry line between identities [brother / lover / father / god / etc], and a lot of it is gross! i’m sorry, but if you want the car with the beautiful boy you also have to take the fratricide with the lug wrench and the incest metaphors, you can’t cherry-pick the one bit that isn’t yucky!!!!! it’s a yucky poem and that’s why it’s good!!!!!

[discodyke-doggirl]

ngl whenever i see an asshole be like “ugh boys are all terrible and yucky and bad idk how anyone could be attracted to a boy or want to be one 🙄” I want to throw hands so fucking badly BOYS ARE HOT AND AWESOME AND GREAT DONT SLANDER THEM JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE LAME AS HELL >:(

anyways boys and all flavors of transmasc my beloved i am kissing yall sloppy style you are all so loved and appreciated :3

[wav3y-zzz]

Didn't realise I'd have to state the obvious over here in the cool kidz club, but if you are a pedo nonce proshipper, GET UP OUT OF HERE!!!!🤢🤮 NO LANKY NONCES ON MY ACCOUNT EWWWWWWWW YUCKY!!!!!!!! THOU HAST BEEN WARNED!!!! ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫🚫

If you a proshipper like actually just piss off, I can't be bothered ✋️🙄

Anyway intro post time ig!!!!! Sorry NOT SORRY about allat at the top, just want to make it clear I don't want any creeps on my account.

The names Wav3y! I don't really mind what people call me, but yk Wav3y is I and I is Wav3y, calling me anything else would just be kinda strange yk 😋

He/him pronouns maybe?? Again I don't really care

Fairly standard dni criteria, proshippers or any of the other variants, racists, homophobes ect. Also dni if you're just like unfunny I don't want among us jokes up in here, I already have to deal with unfunny people in my day to day life I don't wanna have to deal with them online too

I like to do ART in case you haven't noticed, but I also like other things, like music. 90s and early 00s music if we're being specific, im really into Talkshow boy mostly, but there are a ton of other things i listen to,,,,,old music kicks ass yall just dont get it. Also, i mostly collect fnaf merch and monster high dolls in case you wanted to know how insufferable i am!🤑

I LIKE OTHER THINGS ALSO!!!!👍 HISTORY I LOVE HISTORY AND HISTORY RELATED THINGS,,,,, like clone high and horrible histories! Mathew Baynton my beloved.. I'm the biggest FNAF fan I've been into the games for years, it's pretty much one of the only things I've liked consistently for years. I like the games, the books and OMG THE MOVIE NOW which feels so crazy to say after all this time. I of course like other games, I like cookie run ovenbreak (not kingdom) and also undertale (I ❤️ METTATON). And ya, I DO LIKE GOTHIC LIT, i especially like when the book is about mad science (yes i do know everything there is to know about jekyll and hyde).In case you couldn't tell I do get weirdly obsessed with random fictional characters, must be the autism..

I've got a couple of other socials, like tiktok and Instagram, but I ain't really all that active on them, JUST STAY HERE ON TUMBLR YOU GUYS! (no but like actually do follow me on tiktok or whatever)

(Anyways feel free to ask me random stuff, send drawing requests idc go crazy)

[kaleidoscope1967eyes]

Dark Prince Luke Thoughts™:

Tagging: @stonegoldsxcrxt, @myevilmouse, @spacesurfing, @laserbrains, @ancient-stardust, @hansonveggieclub, @fandom-gal44, @starobi, @dailydragon08, @lex-the-flex, @rogue-kenobi, @princessxkenobi, @demigoddessqueens, @micheleamidalajedi, @lukefics, @xo-yucky-femcel-bunny-xo, @rogue-kenobi

Buckle up, this one's a long one!

Warnings: suggestive stuff at the end, but nothing descriptive

Your wedding was, to put it simply, extravagant. What else would you expect from the literal Crown Prince of the Galactic Empire?

Luke was initially against making the event of your marriage a spectacle for the entire galaxy to see; he would have preferred a small, private ceremony on Naboo with only your loved ones present.

Palpatine, however, had other plans. Not only would your wedding be a way to demonstrate the immense wealth of the Empire, it would also generate immense sympathy and support from the public.

Luke was without a doubt the galaxy's favorite bachelor--closely followed by the suave but scandalous Prince Han of Corellia--as well as the Empire's golden boy. By marrying a beloved member of the notoriously rebellious Alderaanian nobility, Luke would prove the unity of the galaxy under Imperial rule.

You and Luke were essentially engaged before you even had a chance to get to know each other. Palpatine had ordered for every eligible bachelorette from the galaxy's wealthiest and most powerful families to be presented to the young prince so he may choose a bride. Luke did not have a say in this, but he feared what would happen to the poor girls if he refused to take part, so he reluctantly agreed to it.

Choosing you was actually an act of rebellion. As a member of a lesser Alderaanian noble house, you were accompanying Leia as her aide, and neither of you truly wanted to be there. You weren't meant to be an option. When Luke held his hand out to you--not Leia, not any of the other princesses or heiresses, you--the galaxy stopped. This wasn't supposed to happen, but the look in his eyes told you it could.

Just because your marriage was arranged doesn't mean it was a loveless one--in fact, you were the power couple of the Empire. You were attracted to him the moment you first saw him in person, and you quickly fell for each other over the course of your wedding preparations.

Despite his mysterious exterior, he only ever treated you with kindness and respect--he was nothing like the entitled, spoiled prince you envisioned in your mind. You could tell there was light beneath the dark exterior the Empire forced upon him. He simultaneously respected your space while acknowledging your existence in a way that made you feel like you were more than just a 'lesser noblewoman.' And he was so, so, beautiful.

You were so genuine and real with him in a world where most people weren't. You didn't blindly worship or despise him--you treated him like a person, an equal. Because of this, he felt a strong desire to protect and cherish you, and as plans for the wedding were underway, he made sure you were treated like the beautiful, powerful princess you were meant to be.

You shuddered at the thought of just how much your outfit cost. Your hair was done up in elaborate braids decorated with pastel-colored flowers from your home planet. A tiara of pearls and diamonds encircling a corusca gem adorned the top of your head, and from it extended a veil of intricately woven Alderaanian lace. The dress itself was crafted from the galaxy's finest shimmershilk and embroidered with glimmering, crystal-encrusted designs. It hugged your figure beautifully, the skirt trailing elegantly behind you as you walked down the aisle.

Luke's outfit was equally as stunning: he wore a sleek black military uniform decorated with a crimson sash and various medals signifying his rank. A cape of cyrene silk draped across his shoulders, a reference to his Naboo heritage. As a final touch, a silver crown resembling rays of sunlight sat upon his head, reinforcing his almost deified status in the galaxy.

After over a year of planning, the time came for your wedding. It was the event of the century--every holonews station held countdowns to the day it would be broadcasted live. It felt like the entire galaxy was on the edge of its seat in anticipation.

The ceremony took place in the Senate Plaza as opposed to the Imperial Palace, as your marriage symbolized the unity of all nations, cultures, and planets under the influence of the Empire--even the rebellious ones.

Hundreds of thousands--if not millions--of spectators surrounded the venue, desperate to get even a glimpse of the royal couple. Security was tight due to fears of potential rebel interference. While there were handfuls of protestors in the crowd, nothing escalated beyond shouts of 'death to the Empire!'

As there had never been a royal wedding quite like yours in the recent history of the galaxy, there was no real precedent for how things were supposed to be, so the traditions you followed were amalgamations of ones from various cultures.

The two of you walked hand-in-hand down the aisle, followed by a procession of your family members and close friends: the Naberrie family behind Luke, and the Organa family behind you. Also present were Ahkelar and Arakhmil, his bodyguards; Sabé, his childhood governess; and Mon Mothma, your political mentor. The presence of your loved ones symbolized how your marriage would unite your two families--more importantly, assimilating them into the Imperial Family.

The premier Coruscanti philharmonic orchestra played a fusion of traditional Alderaanian and Naboo folk music as you made your way down the aisle, and onlookers cheered as they waved Imperial flags and showered you with flower petals.

When you reached the altar in front of the Senate Building, your entourage stopped to kneel behind you, and you and Luke turned to face each other, hands intertwined. The love in his eyes and gentle smile he gave you made your heart weep. Whatever your future as an Imperial Princess had in store, you would always find solace and comfort in him.

The officiant of the wedding ceremony was none other than the Emperor himself. You did your best to maintain your composure; his presence was absolutely sickening. Adjacent to him stood Darth Vader, the human incarnation of a shadow, if he truly even is human. Thankfully, you had your soon-to-be husband there to keep you focused and calm.

Palpatine began with a speech about the glory and righteousness of the Empire, how it brought together two people destined to rule the galaxy with the strength and power of their love. In typical Palpatine fashion, it was moving and captivating on the surface, but it was little more than thinly-veiled propaganda. His declarations of peace were merely metaphors for submission. The most obvious was how he spoke of a bride's devotion and duty to her husband, how she must remain obedient to him--a subtle but direct threat to the Alderaanians viewing the ceremony.

"Do you, Lady Y/N of Alderaan, pledge your life to Prince Luke of the Galactic Empire and take him to be your husband?"

"...I do."

"And do you, Prince Luke, Heir to House Palpatine and Crown Prince of the Galactic Empire, take Lady Y/N of Alderaan to be your bride?"

"I do."

Darth Vader stepped forward, presenting the rings that would cement your status within the Empire--by putting them on, you would exchange your freedom for limitless power. The rings had matching flamegems, glowing and pulsing with the heat of a miniature star. Taking your hand in his, Luke slipped the ring onto your finger, and you followed suite for him.

"May the two of you remain forever faithful to one another, and may you uphold the legacy of the Imperial Family with your benevolent leadership and a surfeit of children. With the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife, Prince and Princess Consort of the Galactic Empire."

Luke placed his hands on the side of your face, whispering 'I love you' and kissing you deeply. The crowed cheered even louder than they had before as you and Luke embraced each other.

The wedding ceremony was followed by an even more extravagant reception within the Senate Building. You and your new husband had changed into attire more suitable for engaging in the festivities: you wore a sultry evening gown with a plunging neckline and striking slit along the side, and Luke wore elegant, loose robes showing off his toned physique. It was near impossible for anyone to keep their eyes off you; you were without a doubt the most attractive couple the galaxy had ever known.

The party was filled with lively music, dancing, exquisite food and drink, and plenty of company. Prince Han was causing quite the riot. The two of you spent time socializing with your friends and families, but you also had many, many guests to greet and thank for attending. You met with dignitary after dignitary, spending more time making small talk with strangers than you did partying. In a rare instance of kindness, Vader insisted on taking over to let you enjoy the moment. The greetings stopped shortly after.

In spite of how reserved he usually was, Luke absolutely adored getting to show you off on the dance floor. You were his gorgeous bride, his beloved princess, his first and his only love--the one person he never had to worry about losing. The smile on your face and the sound of your laughter as he waltzed with you was enough to keep him happy for the rest of his life.

Representatives of every star system were responsible for presenting the royal couple with a wedding gift unique to the resources and cultures of their planets. Naboo had gifted a Guarlara mare and stallion named Veré and Set, whose names were taken from a famous folktale about eternal lovers. Aside from being exclusive symbols of nobility, Guarlaras mated for life and therefore represented true love; as you and Luke were avid lovers of animals, you were elated to receive such beautiful creatures.

Your adoptive aunt and uncle, Queen Breha and Viceroy Bail of Alderaan, presented you with a pair of droids who had served Padmé Amidala during the Clone Wars: R2-D2, an astromech droid, and C-3PO, a protocol droid. "They will serve you well on your new adventures as a married couple," Princess Leia told you. You understood what she meant--the droids were specially modified for untraceable, clandestine communication.

Much to your horror, Orn Free Taa of Ryloth presented you with an enslaved lethan twi'lek woman in what was to be the scandal of the century. You had no choice but to accept; not only would rejecting her create a rift between the economically important planet of Ryloth and the Empire, but it would have her thrown back into the treacherous slavery underworld. Luke ensured you and the woman, whose name was Yuna Dawani, that he would arrange to have her become a free and fully paid employee of the royal household.

The festivities lasted deep into the night, and by the end of it all, you were exhausted. However, that didn't stop you from enjoying your wedding night--as soon as you returned to your shared chambers, you relished in spending the rest of the night in each other's arms, passionately making love to one another.

[court-jobi]

Can I ask about two things? Blue Mando-Paz Feels and The Touch Barrier? Feel free to only answer one! This is @newpathwrites btw.

Hekk yeah I'll answer both, @newpathwrites!!! Let's goooo~

The Touch Barrier | Ver. 1 under the cut

Ah my lovely fic headcanons with no real name... The Google Doc I have my drabbles about Paz Viszla are on just a funny sheet called quite literally Blue Mando Paz Feels. We had so little Paz content at the time I began writing these in 2019, but when I tell you my mind went wild...

Big blue boi Mando had my heart from the get go, and I quickly envisioned a nameless little OC (that I have yet to get onto paper). I paired him with a gentle soul who has a heart bigger than her head, and shakes the moment a gun is put into her hands-- but I think that brand of softness may be just what he needed in this harsh lonely world Mandalorians are so used to. He's big, he's blue, and it's cuffing season.. all I gotta say on that.

Now that I've seen more of Viszla in Season 3 I HAVE NEW SOURCE MATERIAL MUAHAHAHA but (ach-hem) I really do think the newest episodes helped me figure out his 'voice' so I might pick these little stories back up!

//psst my favorite of these is one where oc/reader's helping him clean up after a yucky, muggy recon mission, seeing him scrub himself really hard and she fusses over how rough he's being-even with himself. I go into how to care for your beskar, some Din Djarin rivalry-ish backstory, and how SWEET Paz can be when he's treated gently... Perhaps I'll flesh this one out if there's interest?

But also... my beloved:

I answered a bit on my different directions on The Touch Barrier here... But I imagine you'll be most interested in the first iteration of it, so here's a snippet!!

"Are we ok?"

The helmet straightened up, fixed to you again from its nervous evasion. "What?"

"You look like a caged lothcat right now.." you shared, unable to hold back a smile. "And here I thought we were on hugging terms~"

Inside the beskar suit, Mando’s neck flared with heat. And before he could silence himself,

"..we are?"

You hummed noncommittally- betraying your whole-hearted desire.

"I hoped so. At least I thought we might be, based on how you boarded the other day. Unless you didn't necessarily want me there. After all, I know you were kinda having a hard time staying upright."

Only then did Mando's beskar curves slide more naturally into place. No longer bolted to the wall but angled catty corner to you. 

He recalled the 'hug' referenced, but he also remembered how he'd cupped your head to him after you'd brought him up to the cockpit-- that one was for comfort. Not stability.

"I was. But that's not why I .."

–but before he fully finished his train of thought, the baby in the hold let out a frustrated garble of calls as a rolling ball clinked out of his reach. Each plunk echoed down the rungs until it rolled off to parts unknown. You snorted, wondering what on earth he was getting into up there.

"Gosh, that little guy. Sorry, what were you saying?" you recentered from your distraction.

With a lag in his shoulders, the Mandalorian thought the truth to be the best answer. But still wanting to answer to the Child, he nodded his head on for you to continue down to the hull, and he'd follow,

"I was just going to say," he answered, "I didn't do that because I couldn't stand on my own. i-i mean I couldn't, true, but the thing is, I 'wanted to'..." 

His heart was thundering, some cracks in his words were audible,

"I was bleeding out all over the floor. But really, l I could think of was just how grateful I was that you hadn't been hurt. You were safe, and seeing you? I was relieved."

Now side by side in the open air cargo space you smiled, feeling a bit like the silly girls in the holonovels when they pushed their hair behind their ears.

"Well... For one, I'm glad you're not bleeding all over the floor."

That earned you a breathy laugh, "Thank you."

"And for two, I'm- glad you wanted to. Because I may or may not have been wanting to, myself.." 

Mando paused in his strides. which you matched. Even though you were unable to read his expression, you gave a satisfied little smile with your answer, 

"So… it sounds like we're on the same page."

"Sounds like we are."

The Child whined again, making both tip their head off to the side, perfectly in sync.

"I can go get him-- meet you back up top?"

"Okay." He nodded and they split.

Back in the cockpit, you wrangled the bouncing little potato sack. Mando turned when you came in, hearing you corral the kid trying to jump out of your arms to get a better view from his pram.

"Ok ok kiddo, good grief– your seat's but going anywhere!" You shrilled. Planted into his blankets, he sat back in content, swaying side to side, taking in the stars and clusters they were passing in awe.

"Handful?"

"More like tryin'a be a hand-empty, the little wiggle worm." you sassed. His playfighting was all in good fun.

The Mandalorian spun to meet you. First and foremost, you know he'd set the locks on the overhead panels on the side wall, but then he surprised you when he faced fully after you readjusted your clothes the kid had tugged every which way.

"You're good with him. He seems happy to have someone else around." He complimented, stepping into your space. 

Then- finally- meeting your sparkling eyes with all their silent anticipation of his arms, he wrapped around you to pull you in. You locked him in by the waist. 

Then, slightly softer, he nearly whispered, "and.. he's not the only one."

Smushed slightly into his flight suit padding above his chest plate, you smiled. The pats you gave him back passed assurance and as much comfort as you could manage in this relatively tiny hunk of metal in the vast black dust of space. 

"Feeling's mutual, hon."

Hope you liked it!! More of this may come one day...

...dangit.. now I wanna finish this. (le sigh)

[kayjaydee17]

WIP Wednesday

From the next chapter of Don't Worry, Baby

Contains: diapers, wetting, infantilism, little Izzy, manipulative Stede (my beloved <3 ), baby talk.

Ed shifts, feeling the mattress and blankets. "Don't think so, mate," he says. "Bed's dry."

Stede smiles at Izzy and tickles him under the chin. "Yes, it would be," he says. "Because someone was very, very brave last night and asked me to put him in a nappy."

At that, Izzy bursts into a fresh flood of tears. "Wuh," he says. He chokes on a sob and tries again. "Wuh -- wuh --"

Stede strokes his hair. "Deep breath, darling, take your time."

"Wet," Izzy finally manages to gasp out between sobs. "Yucky."

"Oh darling," Stede coos. "I think you're feeling very little indeed." He pulls the blankets down; even through Izzy's pyjama bottoms, he can see how heavy his nappy is. "Such a wet wittle boy," he says. He knows he's baby-talking, but he just can't help himself, not with this tiny little thing. "Don't worry, darling, Daddy and Papa are going to get you cleaned right up." He looks at Ed. "Ready to learn how to change a nappy?"

Ed is staring at him. "He asked you to put that on him?" he says.

"Yes, dear," Stede says. The baby really is very unhappy with how wet he is, so Stede starts helping him out of bed. He's not very cooperative, too lost in his fussing to realise Stede wants to help him. "I popped my head in to say goodnight and the little thing woke up." He finally coaxes Izzy out of bed and pats his bum where his diaper is sagging. "And it's a good thing I did," he says. "Because someone woke up very wet, didn't he? Such a good boy, using his nappy." Izzy is still his strong, stocky self, but he feels so small under Stede's hands. He has been waiting to see Izzy like this, ever since that first hint of him days ago, scawy breathed as big frightened eyes blinked up at him.

Stede had no idea how to interact with Izzy when he thought he was an adult. Now that he's little, it's easy.

"Wait, go back," Ed says, pushing his hair out of his face. "He just asked you to put him in a diaper?"

"Not exactly," Stede admits. "I asked if he wanted to go to the toilet and he said no. So I suggested that he might feel safer with a nappy on."

He knows that isn't exactly what happened, but he doesn't want Ed to think he forced Izzy into nappies or some such nonsense. He's been oddly resistant to the idea of them, shrugging and changing the subject whenever Stede mentioned them. He supposes it's one thing to learn your best friend-slash-lackey is a little and quite another to see him happily using his nappies.

"Oh," Ed says. "Well, that's -- good. He's wet?"

"Wet," Izzy agrees miserably. He wipes his nose with his sleeve and fresh tears fill his eyes. "Dee, wet, yucky."

[canisonicscrewyou]

hi !! i got this idea from some of my other mutuals (evildead and ratoffstring and sharktoothedfae) can you tell me about some things you enjoy ? please and thank you !! :3

!!!!! oh boy I just took a big hit off my pen let’s seeeee

I. Love. Making. Little. Drinks. I love the rituals and craft of coffee and tea and cocktails. I love it at my job, and nowadays the only thing I really dislike about being a manager is that it means I can’t bar as often as I’d like. I love it at home where I brew myself & my partner & our roommate coffee with my French press on our days off. I have strong opinions on coffee roasts and types of tea and gin. I love light roasts and used to especially lean towards light roasts so acidic that they’d curdle milk/nondairy/etc. I prefer something that’s less heartburn inducing for my regular nowadays(Starbucks Green Apron & Anniversary Blends my beloved)(Atomic Coffee Cabot Street my beloved)(Trade Coffee in general my beloved). Likewise, I also really like shitty cumbies gas station coffee, and instant coffee, and Arizona iced teas and what have you. I do NOT like energy drinks because most of them are carbonated(yucky)(aside from when it’s alcohol that’s carbonated for some reason?). But I do like Monster’s Lemon or Raspberry Iced Tea if I ever need one. I’m just a beverage opinions girlie.

On a similar note I also really love herbs and other botanicals !! I have a little “apothecary” near my altars and also a big tea/coffee/herbs cart in the kitchen lol, and used to dabble in making different cordials and tinctures and stuff- and I wanna start doing more of that again soon. But I also just like rose and mugwort teas now. I’m in the process of setting up an old snake tank as a little herb garden and I’m excited!!! :3 My mom and I had an herb garden & a vegetable garden (+ the home to one fuckass big blackberry bramble) when I lived with my parents so I’m sosososo excited to make a little one againnnn.

I love cooking dinner and more specifically I love cooking dinner for @demonicomens . I love cooking them good food & experimenting w stuff I think they will like. I also like introducing them to the concept of a sunbutter & jam sandwich(and the next time we get bananas I have promised a sunbutter and banana sandie). I like peeling oranges for them and cutting strawberries into hearts for them. Now I’m just thinking about how much I lovelovelove cooking & baking for other people.

I have lost the energy to ramble. I love decorating my spaces. Here was my living room at some point, I wanna take newer pictures when I put more stuff on the walls (as usual)

Finally that gay bitch the Master (Rory!Master AU my beloved).

Thank youuuuuu

[dirty-droid]

1, 14, 18, 21, 35, 42

1.Sweat or spit

Sweat, mmm salty 😌 tbh though I hate spit so much, it's so fucking yucky 😭 I don't want to be spit on, I don't want to spit on anyone, it just feels so bad cannot do it

18.Censored porn or humiliation porn

No strong preference here, I don't have a humiliation kink, so maybe censored porn? I'm not sure exactly what this referring to, there's everything being blurred or covered, which is annoying but not that bothersome that I've never enjoyed like, censored hentai before, but there's also that mormon porn thing where they take a picture of a scantily clad woman and then cover up her clothes somehow with editing, and there's an illusion that makes her look naked even though she isn't actually? It doesn't do THAT much for me, but I see the illusion enough to go hehehe naked lady so I think I'll take that over humiliation.

21.Pet play or slave play

Pet play my beloved 😍 y'all I am the best puppy boy, I'm hecking ADORABLE, and the whole mind game of pretending to be a dog just hits the spot, I want to be loved and cherished and valued simply for existing and being cute, very affirming stuff

35. Name calling or pain

This is a tough one, because name calling never hits as hard as I need it to, but also, I can't be hit that hard 😅 my pain tolerance is shit. I guess name calling, because it's also very romance

42. Orc or werewolf

werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf werewolf

God that doesn't look like a word anymore but werewolves were baby's first fetish over here, fucking HUNT ME DOWN AND MATE MY ASS

Thank you for asking and you're welcome for the TMI!

[likealayka]

Thinking about how in CAOS bdsm relationships were only portrayed as "bad" and "abusive" again.... It's not like there is consent or pleasure in it, you know? It's just yucky manipulative men making poor silly women get whipped for their sexist pleasure and silly young boys getting chained and collared because they don't know any better only to be saved by their beloved saviour Sabrina... Oh gods.

Genuinely still sad that I wasted my time on this show when it came out - I literally binged it the moment new part was made available... Ugh.

[dballzposting]

Dragon ball characters as niches of asexuality

Greyace: Vegeta. Um possibly demi but IDK. I do know that there needs to be notable emotional influence beforehand. The only two people hes ever wanted to fuck in his life BTW are his wife Bulma and his rival Kakarot. Bulma had stunned him with her strength of character and gentle caresses while kakarot had inflamed him with his ... self.

He’s grey-ace meaning sexual attraction is rare and not a driving factor/priority in his life and lifestyle.

Aro AND ace: Goku. He just doesnt care about any of that.

aegosexual: Tarble

Cupioromantic/sexual: Piccolo

He did well when Goku was dead and Ms Chichi was his beloved. And he is respectful enough of the human sexual condition. He will do whatever it takes. He’s the milkman

Bonus corner, not ace but aro: GT Trunks.

For all you #TrutenTruthers out there I’ll say that he’s demiromantic c:

Sex repulsed: Gotenks-kun.  Like if he were older

Like i underatsnd that he’s only around for 30 minutes at a time but IDKKKK if he were around for longer we’d see him say shit like “NO WAY SISTER. I don’t go for that. Back off. I’m abstinence until I die. Radical!” and then he’d do a kickflip. Ugh TBH tho if Gotenks were your teenage son honestly you’d be worried about him going into puberty becasue, judging by his temperance and exuberance as a youth, you would just assume that you’d have to keep your boy on a tight leash. Like he’s gonna be chatting up ALL the chicks. But if anything, entering that age stunted his charisma a bit. He still has his charm but sometimes there’s this trepidation when talking to girls for the first time, before the relationship settles into a comfortable friendship. And you don’t know what that’s all about until he’s 16 and standing in the kitchen and is like “hey can I. Can I ask you something.” and he confides that he wants a GF but he doesnt want her to, like, be coming at him asking for sex...! He likes girls BUT he gets so weird about them becasue he doesnt want to accidentally lead them to think that he’d be down for that :(. You do your best as a parent and tell him that for the love of goodness gracious do NOT do the sex then. First of all, (insert sex risks here). Second of all, it’s just one of those things that you shouldnt do if you dont want to do! Gotenks is like “i think it’s so weird and yucky WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE SEE IN IT ?” and you tell him that everyone else must be stupid. Then when he’s 17 he has a girlfriend and as far as you can tell things are going well, and you feel confident that your boy isnt doing shit he shouldnt be doing, but one day he comes home a tad after curfew and he seems frazzled and jarred and disturbed in the face and he sort of slinks off to his room and shuts the door. Later at 11 pm before you go to bed you catch him in the kitchen making a smoothie with literally all the fruit he can find in the fridge. He’s standing with his back to you cutting up a pear and there is grapefruit juice all over the counter and the blender is already half-full and he’s got Butter Pecan ice cream out becasue it’s the ice cream you happen to have and he’s gonna put it in the blender. And you ask him if he’s alright and slowly but surely he confides in you that he was hanging out with his girlfriend and he did something that he doesnt feel good about. He had told his GF that sex was OFF of the table, and his GF had blindsided him by suggesting compromises. Gotenks, while cutting mold spots off of strawberries, says that he had been blindsided becasue he hadnt considered compromises and he didnt have time to develop a proper emotional response and she had suggested hand stuff and he had said OK and now hes in the fucking kitchen at 11 pm saying shit like “sooo i jerked off my girlfriend.” and you the parent have to be like “I take it you’re in distress over this?” and hes like “yeah. Yknow. I thought that I would be mature and cool and okay with this. But I’m pretty fucking far from okay.” Yknow

Sex neutral: Goku. He just doesnt give a shit. He’s down for whatever

Sex favorable: Yajirobe (far left).

Yajirobe fucks sex hot women and he doesnt even care that they're hot.

Orchidsexual: Gotenks but specifically the one that is a fusion of Future Trunks and Goten from the DBS Heroes manga

He’s 1/2 Future Trunks so he’s male-attracted but he’s still sex-repulsed so he’s like “NO WAY MISTER! I don’t go for that. Back off. I’m abstinence until I die! Bombtastic!” & he’s confident in that & he can see a hot guy and be like “Wow! Hot a what baabhabhiat!” & then not do anything about it KING!

Honorable Mention: Akira Toriyama. He wrote the most asexual/aromantic piece of media. No comment on his personal business but we have to give him thanks for his work, which is strongly representative of the asexual perspective. Thank you sir

[abigail]

Pls i must know ur thoughts on saw x!!! <3

hiii !!! omg okay so. I just got home and I got out the cinema maybe an hour or so ago.. so this is just gonna be me emptying my brain with my first initial thoughts on it !! I might have actual formed opinion and thoughts in a few days or after a second/third viewing but ok here we go !!

spoilers ahead (sorry) (also very long lol sorry)

John Kramer, life coach ?? so true actually <3 idk this conversation he had with the doctor made me giggle and in that moment I was like we’re BACK !!!!

anyway the beginning dragged a LITTLE bit for me because idk I was waiting for the delicious opening trap they always do and then when we finally got it, they basically edged us because it wasn’t actually happening and cut off OUGH evil. I wanted to see it so bad damn.. also - i find it interesting how in johns daydream about that man in the trap he imagined him doing it but still getting his eyes sucked out like.. my man is a sicko !! I know he wants to do well with his traps (in his own special way lol) but the fact he is imagining the man partly (?) failing is.. something. love him regardless like that’s my grandpa but I do find it interesting how when imagining someone in a trap he’s not even imagining them fully succeeding with it .. hmm anyway, the guys eyeballs getting sucked out was well gross and in that moment I was once again like WERE BACK !!! <3 yum

quick note, I found the idea of having them all in the same room but doing separate traps very cool, at first I wasn’t really vibing with it but actually it’s such a cool idea? like they’re a group so they must be together, and usually when they’re all in the same room and it’s a group trap that’s connected somehow they have to work together somehow even if in a small way or whatever,, but in this one they’re all gonna do their own thing and just witness each other ? really interesting I liked it a lot <3

the trap of the girlie cutting her leg off was yucky but omg.. the guy cutting his skull open and picking a bit of his brain out ? fucking insane. so fucking good. truly I thought of that gordon ramsey meme of delicious finally some good ducking food!!!!! (the food is onscreen gore) if that was me though I would simply die oop- like the leg one I would MAYBE attempt but you want me to do WHAT with my skull/brain ?! yeah I’m just gonna sit in peace until my face is burnt off I guess I’m not playing your little game :/ sorry john

speaking of gore btw I kinda figured out the people were sus to begin with but when I really knew and figured it out is when they didn’t show them ‘operating’ on john,, like a saw movie NOT showing someone getting cut open and blood and stuff ?? somethings off… anyway !!

amanda and gabriella… I just know the girlies on here are shipping it and I love that for them . <3 anyway I absolutely LOVED how amanda was really emphasising with her because like. obviously she is !!!!!!!! it was just such a good touch to add.. I love amanda so much and she is such an interesting and beloved character to me and to add her just sympathising for gabriella and putting off doing her trap and trying to really help etc was so good…. also hurt so bad seeing her do it and then that cunt of a doctor kill her anyway like. truly so sad to watch.. amanda and gabriella could’ve been murder girlfriends like ?!?!?! evil. so so evil they took that from us >:-(

the end with the little boy GOT ME SO BAD.. like he’s just a little kid who has done nothing wrong fr and seeing my my grandpa so sad was so upsetting honestly I was tearing up.. he truly didn’t imagine it to go that way and didn’t want a CHILD who was GOOD to go through something he knew was gonna be traumatic even if he knew he would be alright..like it’s a lesson I suppose for him and a moment to remember for future traps for him etc but fucking ouch. loved the kid too, the way he tried to save john because he obvs wasn’t in on it and was truly trying to save his life (because to this kid, john is just some nice old man who helped him fix his bike) made me die like he’s such a good kid, I kinda hope we get to see him grown up in a future saw movie or something ?? I’m not quite sure how they could do it but yeah loooooved that whole moment

ok and finally when john was on the phone and said the word ‘detective’ I did a little yell like I hate hoffman but obviously it was him and like.. I knew amanda was in it but had no idea about hoffman and then when WE HEARD HIM ON THE PHONE ?! I was so excited to hear his voice oh my goddd it was another moment I got emotional and teared up and during the start of the credits I even turned to my brother and we began saying how good it was etc and I said how excited that bit made me and he was like ‘lol I saw’ and then my brother said ‘bet if he was on screen you would’ve cried haha’ AND THENNNNNN !!!! end credit scene hoffman shows up and besties. BESTIES !!!!! I cried. I was just so happy and honestly I’m on my period rn so that probably has something to do with it but I was just so happy and emotional and the character I HATE made me cry. insane. obviously it just for me so off guard I wasn’t expecting it and like.. these movies mean so much to be and the past two were. Not the best to say the least,, so with this one having been so good and for it to end with such a call back and reveal of hoffman being there and involved.. so delicious <3 finally some good fucking food

also ! I got so excited hearing about the mention of the doctor overseas and the woman saying it’s her dad because surely that’s a callback to saw 6 (one of my faves !!!!!!!!!!!) where john tried to get on the experimental treatment but was denied by the life insurance people ? I’m not sure I don’t have time to fact check but if so ? beautiful <33

I fucking loved this movie. It wasn’t perfect but god it was so good, it felt like an actual saw movie again and is easily up there in my favourites of the franchise, I think I need to rewatch it before saying where I’d actually rank it and to see if my feelings on it change but yeah so fucking good.. an actual wonderful addition to the franchise and I can’t wait to see where else they go with any future saw movies if it’s gonna be on that kinda level again :-) BEAUTIFUL !!! <33 mwah mwah mwah

oh and yes I blew kisses to the screen upon seeing amanda btw <3 love her

[treesbian]

there are less than 1,000 kallura fanfictions on ao3. man we really hated it huh. there's one author that writes a lot of it but it looks like they only do straight ships and also ship pidge and lance which is yucky. i found One more kallura fanfic where keith isn't a boy/is a girl. it isnt finished though and hasnt been updated since may. it's cute allura calls them "beloved" and then purposely messes with them more bc she likes their reaction. there are a lot of FREAKS in the kallura tag also. like what is this. warning for very nsfw and frankly disgusting text below the cut

actually never mind i don't want that on my blog. you should read the femslash kallura i linked though it's so cute ;_;