#berkley vaughn

[iheartgracie]

berkley vaughn sad quotes

“You’re not my brother,” Alexis slurred, falling into me. Every time she said those words, it hurt. Even all these years since the first time”

“I’d stare up at my bedroom ceiling and try to picture what my life would’ve been like if I hadn’t been kicked out of their house. ”

“Is it weird for you, going home?”

“I don’t.”

“You don’t? As in you don’t go home?”

“No, I don’t have a home to go back to.” He tilted his head and corner of his mouth lifted, but it was a thin ghost of a half-smile.

“No family?”

A flicker of sadness rushed across his face. “I have a sister, but… that’s complicated. So, to come here and see a place your grandparents owned, that’s pretty cool.”

“Hey, Kid, I didn’t want to say anything until I knew for sure, but here’s the last address I have for Elizabeth Vaughn. Sorry I couldn’t deliver this to you sooner and sorry it’s not better news.

Leaving Jules that morning with a kiss on the forehead while she slept, I’d driven for two hours. Through my windshield, I stared up at the wrought-iron fence with the block letters welded in place. Dayton Memorial Cemetery. I don’t know how long I sat in my car staring up at the gray sky hoping this was a mistake, that he’d screwed me over and made this all up”

“My breath collected in front of my face in a puff of steam. Each mini cloud dissipated and clung to the windshield, fogging it up from the inside.

A primal scream ripped from my throat, raw and unstoppable.”

“Standing on the side of the road, I screamed into the frosty, freezing air. I slammed my hands into the roof of my car, denting the shit out of it. I kicked the side panels and raged against the piece of metal that hadn’t done a thing to deserve my ire. Here I was, sitting on the side of the road, all alone.”

“How’s it going to end up once they realize you’ve fucked them for the whole season?” He stood in the hallway. His bright red jersey like waving a flag in front of a bull. I charged at him, not taking a second to think, and met his face with a fist I’d held back for too long. Every nerve ending was firing like I was out on the field bracing for another hit. My skin tingled, sparking like a misfired firework ready to destroy anything in its way. For the angry kid standing on a doorstep to a house that would never be home. For the scared kid thrown from place to place always feeling unwanted. And for me, the guy who thought he might find that happiness that would never be there again. I rammed my shoulder into his stomach. His back slammed into the floor and his fist connected with the side of my head.”

“Today was the day I’d lost my mother twice, threw away my football career, and now had to stand in front of fifty people and pretend my world wasn’t disintegrating in front of me.”

“I’ve put up with a lot over the years. I’ve helped you dodge a shit-ton more than I should have…” I raked my fingers through my hair. “But you’re not the sister I thought I had. If you could do this to me… If you could do this to someone I love.” I squeezed out that last word, it was barely a whisper between us. “You’re not the person I thought you were.”

“You think you’re the only one dealing with shit?” My voice dropped to a growling whisper. I didn’t need to broadcast my misdeeds all over the stadium. “I took the money. I didn’t spend it on any of that. I spent it on a PI to track down my mom. The one who dropped me off on my ex-con, soon-to-be-lifer dad’s porch when I was seven.” A rolling, grinding anger that I couldn’t hold back shot forward.

His head snapped back and he stared back at me. The muscles in his neck worked overtime. “Did you find her?” The sincere interest threw me, but I’d learned about letting my guard down around him.

“Yeah, I found her.” I lifted my chin. “At the Dayton Memorial Cemetery.” The shot at my raw wound deflated my anger and that let the pain right back in.”

“I’d had a home, something I’d longed for since I could remember, and I’d thrown it away.”

“The words on the small plaque nestled into the grass were her name. Tears swam in my eyes.

Elizabeth Caroline Vaughn. I set the present on top of the low-profile cut granite.

And the date of her death. June twenty-seventh.

And the year.

I sucked in a shuddering breath. It was five months after I’d ended up in my first foster home. Eight months after my birthday, when she’d dropped me off on my dad’s doorstep.

I fell to my knees. The snow crunched under my body, wetness seeping into my jeans. Tears streamed down my face. I’d been looking for her for over a decade and she’d been here all along. Waiting patiently for me to find her.”

“My beautiful boy,

I love you with all my heart and I’m so sorry I had to leave you. You deserve so much more than I have to give you, and now that I know I’m sick it’s only a matter of time before I can no longer take care of you. You’re the only person I have left in the world, and I don’t want to let you go, but I hope your father will be able to take care of you now that I can’t.” Jules’ voice cracked and I held on tighter to her. The cold, scratchy wool of her coat and the steady rise of her stomach with each breath reminded me that I was still alive. I was still here—with her. The way I’d had to take over cooking at home and how my mom had stopped going to her jobs filtered back through years of memories. How she’d gotten skinnier and the fullness of her cheeks had faded away. How much more slowly she’d walked, and the way she’d clutched her side as she’d walked away from me.

“This isn’t fair, none of it is, but I hope someday you can forgive me and that you’ll have the life you deserve. The life I never could have given you.

I love you with all my heart,

Mommy”

“You’re loved Berk. More than you could ever know. Your mom loved you. The guys love you. Alexis loves you. I love you.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “And that will never change. Losing your mom—” Her voice gave out and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “That’ll be something that you always carry with you. But you have a family that loves you and will always be there for you.”

“Tears welled in my eyes. “Some of the kids at school had gotten jerseys when the new football season started. I begged my mom for one. I was such a pain in the ass. We were eating beans and rice on a good day and I wanted a stupid football jersey, when there was no way we could afford it. But a few months before she left, we’d found a huge bag of yarn in the dumpster near a craft store. She made me gloves, a hat and a scarf—practical stuff. But I still bitched about that damn jersey.” I ran my fingers over the white 11 and turned it over. My name was knitted in big block letters on the back. My favorite number. My number now. “A kid who had no idea what real life was like and how bad things could get. I never got to tell her how much I love this.” My nostrils flared, and the frigid air bit at my skin against the falling tears.

“She knew.” Jules covered my hand with hers, tracing the letters along the top.”

“She knew. All the things you think she’s missing out on. She knew you loved her and she knew you’d find your happiness.”

[maddiesflame]

The Third Best Thing headers

like/reblog if saved © maddiesflame

[wlwjoong]

i said berkjules rights 😘💅🏻✨

[literaredits]

━ fulton u headers

like/reblog if you save it. ©️ rosecalioway on twitter.

[trash-box]

my favorite january jones quirk is the fact that the speculative list of who fathered her child includes: bobby flay, matthew vaughn, jason sudeikis, liam hemsworth, xander berkley, michael fassbender... like miss thing was BUSY

[squaredancing-weston]

Extra Credit || Family || Brody Weston

Samuel Moreau (78)-- maternal grandfather -- retired (FC Robert Duvall)

Doris Moreau (78) -- maternal grandmother -- retired (FC Vanessa Redgrave)

Dale Weston (60) -- father -- horse breeder  (FC Pierce Brosnan)

Kimberly Weston (56) -- mother -- professor of Equine Husbandry and Nutrition at UC Berkley (FC Annette Bening)

Mark Weston (35) -- brother -- dairy rancher (FC Jensen Ackles)

Sarah Weston (32) -- sister-in-law -- dairy rancher (FC Ronda Rousey)

Stephanie Weston (14) -- niece -- student (FC AnnaSophia Robb)

Connor Weston (12) -- nephew -- student (FC Josh Hutcherson)

James “Jim” Weston (8) -- nephew -- student (FC Jake Vaughn)

Robert “Bob” Weston (33) -- brother -- Event and Field Marketer for Lagunitas Brewing Co. (FC Channing Tatum)

Jeffrey “Jeff” Weston (28) -- brother -- accounting clerk (FC Ryan Kwanten)

Taylor Weston (29) -- brother-in-law -- bank manager (FC Coco Martin)

Brody has a lot of family.  Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins-- all scattered around the west coast, all just a quick plane trip away for reunions on an annual basis.  But of course his immediate family is now all almost all immediately located within the Bay Area.  

His maternal grandparents, Samuel and Doris Moreau, live in a nearby assisted living facility, where Doris helps the nursing staff care for an dementia-afflicted Sam.  The old man is by far the most awesome old person Brody has every met, serving in the Navy in his youth before settling down with his grandmother, who was a nurse.  However, the guy has the most spot-on gaydar ever, hinting that Brody may not be the only bisexual in the family.  And even as his memory has begun going, he is still madly in love with his wife, constantly flirting with the “hot nurse” that comes by all the time and taking her out on dates to the gardens and cafeteria when they’re both feeling well enough.  

His parents, Dale and Kim, live on a six-acre ranch house out in Petaluma, where at any given time you’ll find up to a half-dozen horses and more cats all over the property.  Dale is fairly quiet by nature unless you hit on the right subject, but once you get him started he’s quite lively and prone to playing Devil’s Advocate just to keep the conversation interesting.  While he never really understood Brody’s passion for dance or “the gay thing”, he’s been nothing but supportive of his son.  It was always Kim though, that’s been Brody’s big cheerleader, taking him to lessons and performances and excited for everything in her kids’ lives.  Brody feels like all of his good morals and strengths come from his parents.

Brody’s brothers are as distinct in personality as three strangers, but he loves them all like hell:  

Mark, the “stick in the mud”: responsible and protective, calm and clear-headed, slow to anger and forward-thinking.  Married to Sarah at twenty, Mark joined her family’s dairy ranch business, and they had Stephanie, Connor, and Jim.

Bob, the “fun one”: constantly chasing good times and the next thrill, spontaneous and teasing, but also easily the most likely to help his brothers with whatever antics or dream they’re chasing.  He followed his passion and found a job at a Petaluma brewing company.

And Jeffy, the “cinnamon roll”: introverted and meticulous, reserved and sweet, the tag-along of his family and easily able to stir all of his brothers’ guard dog instincts.  The Weston boys all looked out for each other, but God help you if you ever messed with Jeffy.

Which is exactly how the rift in the family became so enormous.  During his last year at Sonoma State, Brody and Jeffy and Taylor (Jeff’s then-boyfriend) all got concert tickets in the city.  However, when Jeff backed out last minute to study for an exam, he sent his brother and boyfriend ahead without him.  Drunk and high off of the music, Brody was completely taken off guard when Taylor kissed him.  To this day, while he knows he pushed him away the first time, he still takes full responsibility for the fact that the two of them ended up in the cab of his truck and him screwing the guy six ways until Sunday.  

The next morning, both were hugely remorseful, with Brody insisting that it was easily the worst mistake of his life.  Thought Taylor wanted to confess immediately, Brody was certain that their screw-up would destroy his baby brother, and if either of them loved Jeff half as much as they claimed, the best thing to do would be to just forget the night ever happened and never say a word.

The arrangement lasted one week before Taylor cracked and sobbingly confessed to Jeff.  As predicted, the youngest Weston was crushed, breaking up with his boyfriend immediately and exposing Brody for his betrayal.  To cement the damage, Mark and Bob both jumped their brother in the parking lot, sending him to the hospital with cracked ribs, a busted lip, split eyebrow, and many other bumps and bruises.  To try to lessen the problems he’d created, Brody quickly and quietly finished his schooling before changing states, away from his family.  And a few years ago, Jeff and Taylor reconciled and married, reenforcing the boy’s opinion that he did the right thing, as he was not only not invited to the wedding, but also missed the birth and growing up of his youngest nephew Jim.  The only tie that still remains between Brody and his family is due to his mother’s stubborn persistence, as Kim for the last eight years has made a weekly-to-bimonthly phone call to keep up with her son, as well as sending holiday cards, in which she makes sure to include Brody.  However, the boy is determined not to hurt any of the people he loves again, and so makes sure to keep her at arm’s length, even as he desperately yearns for the contact in the short conversations.

[thebookbreeze-blog]

Review: TIGHTROPE by Amanda Quick

Review: TIGHTROPE by Amanda Quick

Tightrope by Amanda Quick, Berkley, May 2019, 4 Stars

BLURB:

An unconventional woman and a man shrouded in mystery walk a tightrope of desire as they race against a killer to find a top secret invention in this New York Times bestselling novel from Amanda Quick.

Former trapeze artist Amalie Vaughn moved to Burning Cove to reinvent herself, but things are not going well. After spending her entire…

[crimespreemagazine]

INTERVIEW WITH AMANDA QUICK

INTERVIEW WITH AMANDA QUICK

Tightrope

Amanda Quick

Berkley Press

May 7th, 2019

Tightrope is a fabulous mystery, typical of what readers have come to expect from Amanda Quick also known as Jayne Krentz. This action based plot has secrets, betrayals, Hollywood actors, circus characters, spies, gangsters, and a sweet romance, although the focus is more on the suspense than the romance.

The plot has Amalie Vaughn…

[tometender]

Firestorm My Rating: Written by: Nancy Holzner Series: A Deadtown Novel (Book 6) Print Length: 294 pages Publisher: InterMix (May 16, 2017) Publication Date: May 16, 2017 Sold by: Penguin Group (USA) LLC ASIN: B00JJXHKXY Genre: Urban Fantasy

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/fire... Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Firestorm-Dead... Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fires...

They call it Deadtown: the city’s quarantined section for its inhuman and undead residents. Most humans stay far from its borders—but Victory Vaughn, Boston’s only professional demon slayer, isn’t exactly human… When Vicky allowed an ancient goddess to possess her, she had no regrets—it was the only way to protect the people she loved. But now Ceridwen, locked in a power struggle with the Hellion that long ago claimed Vicky with its mark, refuses to leave. Both beings believe controlling Vicky is the key to winning the coming war for the human realm. Despite the forces pulling her apart, Vicky needs all her wits about her. The demons of Hell are growing bold and she can barely keep up with the attacks plaguing the city: sirens in the Mystic River, goblins snarling traffic on Storrow Drive, imps tearing the gold from the State House dome. As the signs of war multiply and Hell threatens to overrun its boundaries, Vicky finds herself torn between her duty to save the world and her desire to save something of herself…

Firestorm by Nancy Holzner Vicky is possessed by an ancient goddess and a demon has marked her and is attempting to take control as well. Vicky thinks she has it all under control, but you just know something is seriously going to go wrong with all her well laid plans. Demons are breaking through all over the place and it all comes down to Vicky, her wits, her strengths and her ability to work with what you got on hand. Things are really heating up for Vicky and not in a good way. All hell is breaking loose and its about to get really real! Talk about action intense, FIRESTORM, seems to be chock full of conflict, inside and out. I have to admit I enjoyed her external conflicts/ battles a lot more than the internal switches with the demon and goddess. I was invested in the telling but found the internal struggles a little distracting. Holzner gives you closure in FIRESTORM's plot but leaves just enough open making you want more. My Full Review to come. I received this ARC copy of Firestorm from Berkley Publishing Group - InterMix. This is my honest and voluntary review. Firestorm is set for publication May 16, 2017.

[krissysbookshelf]

Every Little Thing (Hart's Boardwalk #2) by Samantha Young

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Review:

                                Bailey Hartwell has many reasons to feel content—her successful business, a close circle of friends, and her steady boyfriend…even if their romance feels staid after ten years without a serious commitment.

  The only challenge in her life comes in the form of sexy businessman Vaughn Tremaine.

She thinks the ex-New Yorker acts superior and that he considers her a small-town nobody. But when Bailey’s blindsided by a betrayal, she’s shocked to discover Vaughn is actually a decent guy. Vaughn admires Bailey’s free spirit, independence, and loyalty. As his passion for her has grown, his antagonism toward her has only worsened. Every little thing Bailey does seduces him. But when Vaughn’s painful emotional past makes him walk away in fear he will hurt her, it opens an old wound in Bailey, and she uncharacteristically retreats. Once Vaughn begins to realize he’s made the biggest mistake of his life, he has no choice but to fight like he’s never fought before to convince Bailey that the love they’ve found together only comes around once in a lifetime.

      Every Little Thing is one of those my enemy is my friend situations but its done in such a way that yes, while romantic how Bailey and Vaughn are drawn together I also felt as if he were simply one of those rebound guys in under the circumstances which made me not care so much for the developing romance between them since I didn't feel as if Bailey had enough time to really process or cope with what she'd gone through.

That aside I did like like them together when they were getting along.

I had some mixed feelings both ways but I did enjoy reading Every Little Thing and I did find myself partial to Vaughn who held my attention through the book.

If you haven't read the first book in the Boardwalk series I suggest you start there to really grasp their previous involvement and history.

  Samantha Young

          This title will be available for purchase on March 7th, 2017!

        Krissys Bookshelf Reviews has a QR code for your phone!

  Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews received a print copy. All thoughts, comments and ratings are my own.

Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews received a print copy in exchange for an honest review from Berkley Publishing.

  If any of Krissy's Bookshelf Reviews has been helpful please stop by to like my post or leave a comment to let me know what you think. I love hearing from followers!

Thank you so much for stopping by!

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[iheartgracie]

berkley vaughn soft quotes part 3

“We returned fire, but he’d sacrificed himself and took out Berk…who then proceeded to put on his Oscar-winning performance of dying. He slow-motion fell down the stairs, hitting every step while holding on to the railing, howling and groaning the whole way.

At the bottom of the stairs, he grabbed Keyton’s hand. “I’m so cold. Hold me, Key.”

Keyton’s shoulders shook and he wrapped his arms around himself like he might fly apart with his case of the giggles. He gasped for breath and held his side. “It hurts.” Each word was on a half-laugh, half-choke.

Berk finally lay completely still, letting his mock death sink in with the required gravitas. Then his eyes shot open, staring right at Keyton. “You’re laughing? I didn’t think you knew how. Totally worth it. You want a drink?”

“Everyone got up, except for Berk. He sat perched on the edge of the lawn chair with a Twizzler between his teeth. Nix shot him a disapproving look and LJ grabbed his arm, dragging him toward the house with everyone else.”

“Berk called out, dragging a chair over beside him at the table. “There’s an open seat here, and tell me what I need to do to get another batch of those cinnamon rolls.”

“Have you ever read that book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie? Although in this case it’s like, If a Mouse Breaks into Your House and Steals a Cookie.” I lifted the corner of my mouth.

“It was unlocked.” He downed the glass and set it back down. “Leaving your door unlocked on a street full of degenerates isn’t the best idea.”

“Exactly. Who knows what crazy person could show up and start raiding my food supply.”

“Exactly.”

“He tapped me on my nose with one of the cookies he’d weaseled out of the box when my back had been turned.”

“Me?” Her squeak was so high I was surprised it didn’t shatter the lenses of her glasses.

“Yeah, I have a special occasion coming up and wanted to know if maybe you’d be able to make a cake for me.”

“Me?”

“Unless it’s the Keebler elves making all the awesome stuff you bring over to the house.”

[iheartgracie]

berkley vaughn soft quotes part 2

“You’re not supposed to bask in my stress.”

“How can I not when your delicious treats are what I get because of it? I’m tempted to stand outside your bedroom banging pots and pans to keep you bleary-eyed and baking.”

“You draw?”

He tugged a book from the shelf and dropped it on top of his supplies. “Sometimes.”

“Will you draw me like one of your French girls?” I batted my eyelashes at him and was rewarded with a knuckle-driving punch to the shoulder.”

“Berk, what are you doing here?”

“Waterskiing. How’s your head?”

“Damn shelves, jumping out of nowhere.”

“They’ve been known to do that. Hit and runs left and right in this place.”

“He frowned. “You don’t plan on coming?”

“No tickets.” I shrugged. “It’s probably sold out.”

“There might be a way I could get you one.” He looked over his shoulder.

“If you can score me some of those donuts with extra sprinkles.”

“I looked up from the dough Avery was rolling out and caught Berk’s eye.

His thumbs up melted my heart.”

“His smile could’ve lit up the stadium for the rest of the season.”

“Her eyes snapped open and she wiped at them with the heels of her hands.

I grabbed her wrists to stop her from scraping ninety percent of the skin off her face. “I was joking, Jules. You’re perfect. Not an eye booger in sight.”

She glared and poked at my chest. “Jerkface.”

“How can you be so cruel?” I wrapped my arms around her, tickled her and blew raspberries on her neck.

She finally relented, laughing until tears were in her eyes. “Fine, you’re not a jerkface.” The words came out in pants.

“What am I then?” I didn’t let her out of the circle of my arms.

“My new favorite audience member.”

“I’m surprised you lasted as long as you did.”

“It’s official, you all freaking suck.”

“You’re seriously not going to eat one?”

Jules had the box balanced on her lap.

My mouth watered for two different reasons.

She shook her head. “I’m good. I’ll split one with you.”

“Split one? Are you insane? I could inhale that entire box on my own.”

“And I love the pancake shapes. Is this a mouse?”

It was supposed to be a heart. “Yeah, it’s a mouse.”

“How are you scared by this?” He held out his hand toward the TV with the evil alien creature pointing his glowing finger toward the kids hiding him.

“He’s a walking, talking testicle. Is it almost over?” I held onto his shirt, using it to cover my eyes.

“It’s ET! He’s a childhood classic.”

“You’re loved Berk. More than you could ever know. Your mom loved you. The guys love you. Alexis loves you. I love you.” Tears brimmed in her eyes. “And that will never change. Losing your mom—” Her voice gave out and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “That’ll be something that you always carry with you. But you have a family that loves you and will always be there for you.”

“She knew. All the things you think she’s missing out on. She knew you loved her and she knew you’d find your happiness.”

[iheartgracie]

berkley vaughn soft quotes part 1

“Have you ever read that book, If You Give A Mouse A Cookie? Although in this case it’s like, If a Mouse Breaks into Your House and Steals a Cookie.” I lifted the corner of my mouth.

“It was unlocked.” He downed the glass and set it back down. “Leaving your door unlocked on a street full of degenerates isn’t the best idea.”

“Exactly. Who knows what crazy person could show up and start raiding my food supply.”

“Exactly.”

“He tapped me on my nose with one of the cookies he’d weaseled out of the box when my back had been turned.”

“He downed another shot of milk. “Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s figure out how we’re going to track down TLG.”

“TLG?”

He stared back at me with determination glinting in his eyes. “I’m not stopping until I find The Letter Girl.”

“I slid the plastic container closer to the edge of the counter. “You’re good if I take these?”

She smiled and it shone through her eyes. “Who do you think I made them for?” Turning, she put the now empty plate into the sink.

A wave of heat spread in my chest and stopped me in my tracks. “You baked these especially for me?”

“Both their heads turned and their double glare made me grin even harder and pick up the game controller off the coffee table. “I’ll take a beer and two glasses of shut the hell up for these two.”

“He brushed sprinkles off the side of his mouth.

“Berk!”

“What?” His big-eyed innocent look did nothing to remove the splotch of chocolate on the side of his mouth.

I grabbed a napkin and wiped at the spot. “Next time, be better at hiding the evidence.”

“You did good, kid.”

He stared up at me with a huge grin. “Kid? I’m barely a year younger than you, fuckface.”

“But much wiser, I am.” I pressed my palms together and went for the best Yoda impersonation that I could manage while being nearly six-three and hefting at least twenty pounds of gear across the field.

“More like more annoying.”

“One man’s wise is another man’s foolish.”

“Looks like someone’s ready to party.” LJ stood beside me, not a bead of sweat on him.

“I’m sure you and Marisa have some pre-class ritual including face paint, stuffed animals, and tricycles you’ll wander off into the woods to complete.”

“Apparently, my five-year-old, no-longer-white, bordering-on-holey shoes were too much for him to take, so I finally let him buy some for me.”

“You can call me anything you want—except Julia. The only people who call me that are in this room and no matter how many times I tell them differently, they still do it.”

“Anything I want, huh?”“How about Snowglobes?”

Her cheeks turned beet red and she shoved at my shoulder. “Anything but that!”

“Are you sure? Anything? I’m sure I can come up with something in that same vein. How about Lana?”

Her eyebrow shot up.

“Some things are better backward.” I stood there taking a sip of my drink, waiting for her Wheel of Fortune reveal as she ran through the letters.

“Berk! Anything that you could say in front of a classroom full of second graders.”

“What part of the city are these second graders from?”

“She laughed and some of her champagne dribbled down her chin.

“Such a messy drinker. And you’ve only had one glass. Or did you get started before our party bus ride happened?”

“I turned to him and our gazes collided.

He coughed into the glass he had up to his mouth. Wheezing and spraying his drink all over the place, his eyes got anime character wide before he barked out a, “Holy shit.”

“He’s lucky my mom didn’t see that. She’d have freaked. They had to bring in a whole catering crew from Philly just for this.”

“As if the party couldn’t have gotten any swankier.”

“You really don’t need to join me.”

I held up my hand. “Julienne Fries, when will you learn? I don’t do anything I don’t want to, especially not going for a run at—” I picked up my phone and my eyes bulged at the time. “It’s not even seven am.”

[iheartgracie]

berkjules quotes part 4

“I hope you don’t lose everything you’ve worked for, for someone who doesn’t treat you the way they should. People who want the best for us don’t try to cut us off from other people who love us.”

With tears in her eyes, she gave me one last look. “Bye, Berk.”

“He’s so in love with you.” Tears glittered in her eyes.

I opened my mouth to stop her.

“No, I’ve known him longer, remember?” She smiled at me with a wry look. “He’s head-over-heels for you. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone else, except for The Letter Girl, but she wasn’t a threat because she was only pen and paper. Except she was you. And you’re real.”

“I want him to be happy. And so should you.”

“You make him happy.”

“I’d held her in my arms, brushed away her tears and found myself in her. I’d had a home, something I’d longed for since I could remember, and I’d thrown it away.”

“I keep waking up in the middle of the night and looking out the window at your room and I want to be in there with you. I want to be holding you and rubbing that spot on your nose with the freckle cluster that kind of looks like a tiny strawberry.”

She lifted her hand and rubbed it along the bridge of her nose.

“And I want to call you, or even write you letters, because I miss you, Frenchie. I miss you so much that even with all the people I’ve lost in my life, it’s you who keeps me up at night because you’re part of my heart. You’re part of my soul and I swear…” I choked through the words, pushing past the tightness in my throat and the tears in my eyes.”

“I promised I wouldn’t do this, that I’d give you space and not make showing up here like this, but fuck it. I love you so much that my future that was once so crystal clear is a wasteland stretching on as far as I can see when I try to picture it now without you.”

“People fuck up and who knows what the future holds. And before you say anything, I want you to know, Alexis is family, but you’re my forever.”

“These past few days…” She hugged the book box tighter to her chest. “I’ve missed you so much too.” Her watery smile was the first ray of sunshine after a turbulent storm. A ray of hope. “And the future I’d never been able to picture for myself was clear after I walked out your door. It was bleak, lonely, and not filled with even half the love I feel for you.”

“I rushed forward and wrapped my arms around her. The hard edges of the box dug into my chest, but I didn’t care. I’d sit on a bed of nails to be this close to her again.

She laughed, skimming her fingers along my jaw and looking into my eyes with that kind of open love that made her Jules. I’d never take it for granted again.”

“Jules came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “What’s up?”

I ran my arms over hers, letting her squeeze me tight. The weight of her embrace blanketed me in a love I’d never thought I’d find. I pulled her around to my front and clasped my hands at the small of her back.

“Nothing’s up. Just taking it all in.”

She turned her head to the side, looking at our ragtag group of friends. “It’s a good day, isn’t it?”

Even with everything I’d been through today and the emotional nosedive I’d taken visiting my mom’s grave, she was right. I hugged her tighter to me and kissed her temple with a heart so full, I couldn’t hold back my smile. “It is. The best day, and I can’t wait to make a lifetime of memories like these with you.”

“Thanks for thinking of me.”

He slipped his arms around my waist. “Always.”

“Every day with her was an adventure in what it felt like to be so loved it was like living in a dream. She was my dream girl, and no matter what, we’d have our dream life filled with all the love we’d been searching for all our lives and could finally share with one another.”

[iheartgracie]

berkjules quotes part 3

“She pushed at my chest laughing. I loved that she called Alexis my sister. There was never a question in her voice or one of the strange looks everyone always gave us, and that made me love Jules even more.

That slammed into me hard and I tightened my hold around her waist. I loved her. And it would only be a matter of time before I lost her.”

“I flung the taxi door open and froze a half-step out. Berk sat on my front steps. Once he saw me, he stood up. He knew. Why else would he be here waiting? His gaze was trained on me like he was seeing me with new eyes. I couldn’t face him right now. “Can we talk later?” Like the scaredy cat I was, I scurried up the steps, bypassing him, and shoved my key into the door lock.

“Did you write the letters?”

“Berk, can we talk about this later?” My heart attempted a speedy exit from my throat. I opened the door.

“No, we need to talk about this now.” He wrapped his fingers around my arm, holding me in place. “LJ showed me some post saying you were The Letter Girl.”

“Jules, look at me.”

I couldn’t. The tears were back. They prickled at the backs of my eyes and I blinked to try to keep from dissolving into a puddle. “I think we should back off for a bit.”

“Because I found out you’re The Letter Girl?”

“You know that’s not why.” I took a deep breath, breathing through my nose even though it burned.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

I licked my lips. “Things are moving really fast and I think it would be best to chill out for a while.”

“You’re breaking up with me.” Hurt radiated from his voice.

“I’m barely to a place where I can look at myself in the mirror and not want to wear a snowsuit. I’ve hated myself for so long, and I’ve hated the way I look for so long, and I’m finally coming to a point where I’m okay with being me—most of the time. But what happened today…”

I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut. “What’s happening right now, with people talking about the letters and me and you together as though I’m a circus freak? I’m working hard on loving myself. I know I can get there. But I can’t do it under the searing spotlight at your side. I can’t do it when I know people are constantly looking at you and back at me and wondering why the hell you’re with me.”

“I don’t care what other people think.”

“I know you don’t, but I’m not there yet.”

“If you’re worried about other people around here, maybe go home for a few days. Lay low there and hang out with your mom and sister. Things will blow over.”

A hysterical laugh bubbled up from my stomach. “From the frying pan into the fire. Who do you think drummed these things into my head for the past twenty-two years? Do you know what it was like for me growing up?”“He stared at me like he couldn’t fathom anything other than a picture-perfect childhood shattered by the death of my father.

“But your mom was nice enough.”

“To you. She was so nice to you, but every word from her was trying to cut me down. Like seeing me happy for even a second offended her.”

“I’m sure it’s not—”

“I don’t even know if my own mother loves me.” My voice cracked and my nose was a split second from running. Another ugly cry was rushing to the surface and I didn’t need him here to experience it. “How about that? How’s that for some honesty? She’s the one person who’s supposed to love me unconditionally and I’m fifty-fifty on whether she’d even care if I disappeared off the face of the earth. Those are issues I’m still dealing with, and I can’t add being on your arm to that—not now.”

“I don’t care what other people are saying. And I don’t care that you’re The Letter Girl. I’m fine with it—more than fine with it.”

Tears trailed down my cheeks. “But I’m not. This is a tightrope I’m walking and I’m three minutes from flying into the kitchen and eating half the stuff I baked over the past week, but I won’t. I can be strong right now, but every day, knowing that’s what’s going on? I’m not that strong, Berk. I’m just not. This is my breaking point.”

“Jules was The Letter Girl. She was the woman I’d fallen in love with through her words and the one I’d slowly discovered my feelings for right across the street. The whole time I fought my feelings for her, it was because I’d been afraid of betraying—well, her. She’d kept that from me. The letters I’d read and re-read hundreds of times. The woman I’d finally said goodbye to in my last letter, she was Jules all this time.”

“She’s fucking gorgeous. She’s everything anyone could ever want in a girlfriend. ”

“Jules, I’m crazy about you.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I needed you to know that. And… I know I promised I wasn’t going to say anything to send you screaming from the room, but I want to be completely honest with you. I love you. And I needed to say that. If you’re going to walk away from me, I don’t want there to be any more secrets between us. I’m head over heels in love with you. Hell, I even felt like I was cheating on The Letter Girl with how much I liked you even from the beginning. And I see you, Jules.”

“If you need me to go and you don’t want to be with me, then I’ll respect that. I can’t force you to put up with everything that comes with being with me or force you to love me back.” His voice cracked and tears glittered in his eyes. “But I hoped you might.” Those last words were whisper quiet against my lips.”

“They can say whatever they want, but it’s me and you, okay?”

Taking my face in his hands, he brushed at my tears with his thumbs. “It’s us. Tell me when you’re upset, but don’t run. Because now that I know you love me, I’ll never stop the chase. Can you promise me that?”

I nodded, staring into the eyes that had seen deep into my soul. The ones with the golden flecks that always looked at me with a tenderness I’d never expected.

He squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against mine”

“I took her chin between my fingers and tilted her head up. “How many times do I have to tell you, Jules. I’m into you. Whether it’s in letter form, cookie form, pole dancing form, sitting in your sweats on the couch watching TV form, or any other way you want to show me what you’re all about, I’m here for it. I’m here for you.”

“My brave, beautiful woman”

“One of these days you’ll see yourself like I do.”

She turned to me and held my gaze. Her uncertainty and vulnerability simmered just under the shield of her gaze. The one she dropped for me. She swallowed and covered her hand with mine. “I hope one day I can.”

“Jules turned to me and took my hand. “I don’t want you to think I’m blaming Alexis, but I don’t like seeing you upset. And sometimes you clam up when things go wrong, and I want to help.” She traced her fingers along my knuckles. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.”

“Tell me why not today. Let me in, Berk. Tell me what’s going on. What happened today? You were late to the game? Do you have any idea what you’re putting at risk?”

“I know exactly what’s at risk.”

“Then talk to me. Tell me what happened and maybe I can help. Maybe we can work on it together.”

“There’s nothing to be worked on, Jules. There’s nothing to be fixed. It’s unfixable. Not everything can be solved with cupcakes and cookies. Some of us are dealing with real-world shit that can’t be fixed with a smile and a pound of sugar. You don’t understand. You couldn’t understand. With your country estates that ran in your family, and beautiful three-day engagement parties and your sister’s wedding that’ll probably cost as much as I make next year in the pros.”

“If you make it. You didn’t play because you were late! There are scouts and coaches watching every move you guys make. What could be so important you’d risk that?”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“And what’s her excuse now?” I stood up too, pushing off the wall. “She went through a lot of what you did, but got to stay with the great family because of you, and unlike everything you’ve accomplished, she’s not trying to do better. She’s trying to drag you down. Everything you told me only makes it worse. She screwed you over and didn’t even appreciate what she had. Look at you. Look at how far you’ve come. And the amazing future you have—she’s trying to destroy that. She’s not good for you.” I swallowed past the boulder lodged in my throat. You keep telling me not to put up with the toxic people in my life, but you need to look at the people in your life too. You need to do this for you.” I lifted my hands to his face, but he caught my wrists.

“And for you, right?” He pushed my hands away. “If I want to be with you, I’ve got to cut her off.” He practically snarled. “Not see her anymore.”

“She shook her head. “No, I’d never give you an ultimatum like that. I’d never force you to make that choice. I know you love her. And I love you.” Her voice cracked. “Coming third isn’t the issue. But I can’t stand by and watch someone hurt you. Football comes first. I know that. And I’m okay with that.” She let out a shaky breath, pushing her hands out palms-down like that was an issue long ago settled in her mind. You are so fierce and unstoppable out on the field. But I need to put me first. And I can’t stand beside you and watch her toxic behavior tear you down. I can’t do it and I won’t.”

I blinked, staring at her through the sawing pain eviscerating my heart. “Then where does that leave us?”

“You tell me.” She wiped at her nose with the back of her hand, her eyes red-rimmed and boring into my soul.”

“What does Alexis have to do with this? Stop trying to drag her into everything.”

Jules whipped around. “Is that what you think I’m doing?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

“Then here’s something for you to think about when it comes to the always-innocent Alexis. If she hadn’t been helping me—” Jules took a deep breath and swallowed. “Then how’d I know about the present? The one that apparently means so much to you, but you’ve never shown me. I don’t know why Alexis would want to set me up, but that’s exactly what she did.” Doubt jabbed at the back of my mind. Alexis edged closer to me. “Berk, remember what happened with Gretchen?” Gretchen was a girl I’d dated for a little bit senior year of high school, who’d never liked Alexis. Started making wild accusations about Alexis until I’d had to end things. It had hurt. A deep down kind of hurt that I hadn’t wanted to revisit again. “Why would Alexis lie?” Jules clutched her hands in front of her face. “Why would I?”

[iheartgracie]

berkjules quotes part 2

“If a certain player can get my ticket again, I’d love to.” She tilted her head and her gaze bounced up and away again.

I didn’t want that. I wanted her gaze on me. Her thoughts on me. Her body screaming out for me as much as mine yearned for hers.

“That can be arranged, especially if you keep promising me after-game treats. Consolation or celebration, I’m up for them anytime.”

Her laugh came out as a tight stutter. “That could be interpreted as a little dirty.”

I’d hire a damn skywriter if that’s what it took.

“If it still needs interpretation, maybe I should be a bit clearer.” I ran my finger under her chin.

Her gaze lifted away from the box to meet mine. “Clearer?”

“Much.”

“I dropped my pads and wrapped my arm around her back, sinking one hand into her hair, letting my fingers wind around her silky, inky curls.

A small gasp shot from her lips and I couldn’t hold back my smile. I was filled with the feeling that made you forget everything else and want to bottle up that single moment of pure, unrelenting and unparalleled joy. “Much.” And I wasn’t taking any chances this time. Voices rang out against the concrete around us. Players, coaches, and everyone else in this gridiron circus flowed past us, past our little island in the middle of madness. But I couldn’t hold it back any longer; like a dam in a torrential rain storm, I was overwhelmed by her. And kissed the shit out of her. The electric fire of desire coursed through my veins and the only antidote was her touch.”

“Your lips make me forget about everything else. They make me forget about losing, about the hundred people in the hallway beside us, about anything not centered on this mouth. How’d you get so fucking sweet, Jules?”

“Berk had kissed me.

Berkley Vaughn kissed me, Julia Kelland.”

“You kicked ass.”

“Not quite yet.” I grabbed onto the support pole beside me and swung around, letting one more dart hit him square in his chest.

He stared back at me, slack jawed, watching the orange and blue tipped Styrofoam fall to the ground. “You shot me.”

“You said it was every man for himself.”

“Cutthroat to the end.

“I have my moments.”

“She was so gorgeous it hurt not to touch her.”

“Jules let a curse fly here and there and glanced around like the swear police would come lock her up.

Jules baked congrats cupcakes for my game.

Jules was here with me when she could be anywhere else.

Jules was a secret sexy goddess who had a pole in her bedroom.

I couldn’t hold back my smile. How had I ever not seen how brave she was? How indescribably beautiful?”

“I couldn’t stop myself. The perfect curve of her eyelashes. The small indents on either side of her nose from her glasses. The way her full lips parted as she breathed. I wound a strand of her hair around my finger. She was soft and warm nestled against me.”

“Her eyelids fluttered and I rested my head against the pillow, trying to pretend I hadn’t been committing every line of her face to memory.”

“She stared into my eyes with so much openness and joy it made me want to keep her in bed and show her every single way she was mine.”

“The warm, early-morning sun streaked through her slatted blinds, lighting up her hair and making the deep chestnut brown glow. The gentle swell of her curves was pressed against my body.

Everything about her made me want to never let her go. She was the kind of woman I’d dreamed of one day being at my side. Beautiful. So warm and caring,”

“Sounds like a date.” She laid on her side with her head propped up on her arm. Her hair was all over the place and her eyes looked even bigger without her glasses on. Eyelashes framed those beautiful chocolate eyes currently raking their way up and down my body.

“It sure does.” I kissed the tip of her nose.

This was a perfect moment, the kind they make slow motion in a movie so you get every excruciating detail of the action. Her beauty was heart-stopping. The kind where you know someone inside and out, and everything about them only takes what you already liked to the next level”

“You’ll watch the game?”

“Every second.”

“Good. I’ll miss you.” He took my chin between his thumb and finger and laid a kiss on me. This was a gasping-for-breath, forget-your-name kind of kiss that only reminded me of his promise and exactly what we’d done two nights before. “And I’m counting down the days until I’m back here. Will you wear a skirt for me again?”

“I only have the one.”

“I don’t care if it’s made out of toilet paper. I want to see those legs.”

I laughed against his lips.

With one more planted kiss, he let me go and jogged around to the front of his car.

“Bye, Jules.”

“How she looked at me and saw so much of me I never let anyone else see. How with my arms wrapped around her, I felt safe, and the closest I’d ever come to having a home. She was the most beautiful thing in the world to me and it scared me more than losing the next game or not making the draft. Because I’d never had anything as beautiful as her in my life.”

“Jules covered my hand with hers. There was a tightness in my chest. One that wasn’t from pain or hurt, but from how hard it was to contain all the feelings she brought out in me. ”

“You remember that?”

He nuzzled the top of my head. “There’s nothing I forget when it comes to you.”

“watching Jules run around in an adorable blue and purple knit hat with a white pompom on top made me want to move to a winter wonderland. Her cheeks were bright red. The dark wisps of her hair stuck out from the bottom of her hat as she ran around with her arms out at her sides, getting covered with flakes like the most beautiful statue ever sculpted.

“Do you think we’ll get enough to make a snow man?” She opened her mouth, catching flakes on her tongue and laughed. The snow whipped at us from all angles. The flakes clung to her eyelashes under her glasses, and the sight left me breathless. Another piece of my heart mailed to her in that second in a signed, sealed, and delivered envelope. I could imagine her doing the same thing with two little kids at her side, a boy and a girl that both looked just like her.”

“If I’m ever snowed in anywhere, I want to be snowed in with you.”

“Not that she ever made me feel like I was a kid from the wrong side of the tracks, which made me want to give her the moon and stars. She deserved them. Every single one.”