#bi margret is now my headcanon miuhgybtvf

[makerofmadness]

I accidentally posted the previous thing early so here’s more stuff (sorry everyone):

Melody: I dunno if I'm ready to process the ramifications of this bullshit.

-

Felix: Andy's first detention, I'm so proud. Melody: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention? Claus: Because they're an idiot. Margret, terrified: They can do that??

-

Melody: Are you tall enough to play basketball though? Claus: Are you calling me short? Melody: I'm calling you vertically challenged.

-

Peter: When do you usually go to sleep? Melody: Whenever I collapse is entirely up to the gods.

-

Andy: I’m here for the cult stuff. Margret: How did you find us? Andy: I saw your ad on craigslist.

-

Margret: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

-

Andy: But when all hope seemed lost, I had an epiphany! Andy, earlier: I'm going to throw myself into the sea.

-

Claus: ...My man Andy just killed a goldfish. Andy: *licking their lips* Yup. Delicious.

-

Peter: You’re charged with…..breaking into a pet store? Claus: I thought the animals might be lonely.

-

Margret: Die. Claus: Please don't die! Margret: DIE! Claus: PLEASE DON'T DIE! Felix, confused: Why are they yelling at a plant? Andy, watching while eating popcorn: They bought it together and Claus wants Margret to accept it as their kid.

-

Melody: Oh god, they texted you ‘hi.’’ punctuation only means one thing, Claus. They're mad at you. Claus: No, it's Felix. They're just being gramatically correct! *meanwhile* Felix: And then I used a period so they'd know that I'm mad at them. Andy: A period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'. Felix: I stand by my choice.

-

Melody: What do rainbows mean to you? Claus: Gay rights. Andy: There's money. Margret: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Peter: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

-

Felix: Don’t stay up all night, Peter. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

-

Melody: Being half asleep and feeling someone gently plant a kiss on your forehead is one of the purest kinds of love in the world. Peter: Unless you're home alone.

-

Melody: You are a solid 11/10. Margret: Aw, thank- Melody: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

-

Claus: So, according to my university, it is, quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.” Claus: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing. Claus: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!?!?!

-

Claus: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Margret's birthday invitations. Peter: Well, what are they supposed to say? Claus: "Margret's birthday". Peter: So, what do they say instead? Claus: "Margret’s bi". Peter: Peter: Works out either way.

-

Peter: Blue M&Ms are the best. Claus: whAT IS THIS SLANDER? Peter: What about it? They are. Claus: I WILL NOT ALLOW SUCH LIES ON MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER! Claus: THE RED ONES ARE THE BEST! Peter: YEAH? WELL YOUR MOM'S A HO! Margret: They're all chocolate inside, the colors don't mean anything. Melody: I like the yellow ones. Peter and Claus: SHUT THE FUCK YOUR MOUTH!

-

Andy: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person.

-

Claus: New year, same me. Because I'm perfect.

-

*Everyone is giving advice to Claus* Melody: It's okay to ask for help. Margret: You're not a burden. Andy: Murder is okay. Felix: Your feelings matter.

-

Melody: I feel awful about killing you. Margret: Melody: Even though technically you never even died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

-

Peter: I’ve never been in a snowball fight before. I don’t know the rules. Felix: What? Peter: Is there a point system, or is it to the death?

-

Margret: You played me! Andy: Like the cheap kazoo you are!

-

Peter: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. Felix: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

-

Melody: You remind me of the ocean. Andy: Because I'm deep and mysterious? Melody: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

-

Claus: Uh, Felix? Peter is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof. Felix: What? Andy: I think they meant, Peter is drowning. Felix: WHAT?! *Meanwhile* Peter: *is drowning* Melody: OH MY GOD, PETER! KEEP SWIMMING! Peter: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks* Melody: PETER!

-

Felix: Do we have any orange juice left? Melody: *pours the remaining juice into their cup* Melody: Sorry, we’re all out.

-

Melody: We either die free, or die trying! Claus: Are those the only choices?

-

Andy: I am going to need you to swear- Felix: Fuck. Andy: Andy: ...swear as in promise.

-

Peter: I need to dye my hair. Andy: ... Peter: Or get another tattoo. Andy: ... Peter: Or a new piercing. Andy: Why? Peter: To, you know, appease the mental breakdown gods.

-

Melody: Yeah, I don’t like people. Felix: Oh, well now that’s not fair Melody. Have you met all of them? Melody: I’ve met enough of them. People. What a bunch of bastards!

-

Peter: Who wants to make fifty bucks? Margret: How? Peter: I need someone to take the fall. Margret: What did you do? Peter: I can't tell you. Yes or no, no questions asked. Melody, from the other room: Oh my god. Peter: ... Melody: OH MY GOD! Margret: Make it a hundred. Peter: Deal.

-

Margret: *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages* *Jumpscare* Margret: *Jumps back* OH SHIT, IT'S A WHITE GUY!!!

-

Peter: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Peter. Melody: But you're Peter. Peter: Kinda stuck. It’s a long story.

-

Andy, holding a gun: If the conspiracies about life being a simulation are true WHOEVERS CONTROLLING MY SIM I JUST WANNA TALK.

-

Melody: Andy, you’re such a genius! Andy: Yes, I know.

-

Margret: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along? Andy: What did you just say- Margret: Foetons! *Laughs* Andy: Wh-what?

-

Andy: I got an idea! Claus: Does it involve breaking the law? Andy: By now don’t you think that’s a given? Claus: I was just trying to be optimistic. Andy: Don’t bother.

-

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Margret: No returns. Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...