#bills and worry about money specifically. like i was miserable in high school but now i think i look back on it fondly bc 1. no true

[gentlethorns]

okay i'm struggling again

[loser-writings]

Pleeeeease since you did Mirio can you do Omega Tamaki and Omega Aizawa ^0^

(Of course! I knew it was a matter of time before I got asked to do Aizawa so I kind of went all out

Shouta Aizawa

 (TW: Mention of Teen Pregnancy and Miscarriage)

Nobody in class 1A had known that their homeroom teacher was an Omega, but looking back on it, it made sense. He was fierce when it came to protecting his students and made it clear that he would give up everything in order to keep them safe. His scent of coffee was just something the students had gotten used to, not considering it to be the scent of an omega since it wasn’t stereotypically sweet, and when you thought about it, that sleeping bag he carries everywhere may be his form of a nest since he clearly is rather too lazy to make a proper nest, or too lazy to clean it up when he has to put it away.

His low testosterone caused by being an omega also explains his overall lack of energy since lack of testosterone in males often causes sleeping issues, and even sleep apnea. Because of the downsides of being an omega, he takes testosterone injections at the cost of his fertility. Yes, he decided after high school that if he were to be a hero, he would need testosterone, but his doctors do say that if he ever decided to have kids, he could stay off of it for a while and let his body go back to how he used to be. He would experience a heat cycle (Another thing he hasn’t had to deal with for years) and then could start attempting. For now though, that was completely out of the question just because of his past. Something nobody knew about.

Despite his friends' attempts to set him up with somebody, everyone seemed to run away after hearing about his infertility and lack of desire for kids. He never really blamed them since he knew everybody wanted that ideal lifestyle. Get a mate, possibly get married too, have a kid and grow old. Yet here he was, choosing not to have kids because he wasn’t sure if he could handle it.

He sighed softly seeing Hizashi with a very familiar look on his face. “What do you wan-” “I found the perfect alpha for you! Seriously Sho, the best part is that they already know you too!” Shouta instantly rolled his eyes and looked back down at the tests he was grading. “And who might that be?” The second your name left the loud blonds’ lips, Shoutas’ eyes opened a bit wider than they usually did. 

You were in his class with Hizashi, so you both used to be close. Really close actually. When Hizashi noticed the others' silence, he cheered because he hadn’t protested to the idea yet. “Come on Sho! They’re relocating here since they got a new batch of heroes in Tokyo, and they got tired of it being a competition.” The Omega hummed and sighed, sitting up a bit. “Don’t call it a date, that is the last thing I want right now, but let them know I do want to meet up. It’s been a long time, and I want to see where they’re at now.”

Hizashi cheered again and quickly ran out of the room, Shouta assumed to tell Nemuri, leaving the Omega to his own thoughts. He sighed softly and laid his head down on the desk for a moment as memories came flooding back. Specifically the ones during the summer between 2nd and 3rd year. Neither of you had told anybody, but you were courting. 

Late night dates in downtown Tokyo resulted in hours of the two of you hopping from hidden cafe to hidden cafe, enjoying each other as you used each other to forget about stress. Sneaking into each others bedrooms to cuddle and talk resulted in the both of you getting caught and scolded by your parents, but neither cared since they knew they would do it again. 

Then it came back to his memory. The night where he had a nightmare about Oboro and went to seek you for comfort. It only ended up with you both going too far, yet at the time neither regretted it. It wasn’t until he sat in Recovery Girls office that he regretted what he did.

A hand slipped across his stomach and he shut his eyes as he gripped his shirt. Nobody ever knew except for you, and his omega wanted nothing more than you the second Hizashi said your name. His scent went from strong coffee, to burnt as he remembered hearing the news that the baby, the one neither of you had planned for, wasn’t there anymore. After that, he pushed you away and tried to avoid you by focusing only on his goal to become a hero. He never coped with any of it, just pushed it back down to ignore, but it was all coming back to him.

The students seemed to notice the horrible smell coming from Aizawa, but not one dared to mention it in fear of him snapping at them. At the end of the day, Midoriya seemed to pack up a little slower than usual and waited for everyone to leave before approaching his teacher. 

“M-Mr. Aizawa, Are you okay?” He asked softly to the man who rested on his desk. He slowly sat up and looked at the other, seeing how he seemed to tremble under the intense gaze. “No, but don’t worry. I just have to deal with something that I completely neglected.” He slowly stood up and grabbed the sleeping bag before sighing. “Midoriya,” The boy hummed, wondering what the other would say. “Thank you for checking on me.” Aizawa walked past him and ruffled the green locks as he left the room. Midoriya couldn’t help but smile. He smelled like normal coffee again.

When he got home, his Omega told him to clean himself so he at least didn’t look undesirable. He huffed, telling himself he wasn’t trying to be desirable, yet he did so anyway. He showered, trimmed up his stubble, and put on some nicer clothes. Nothing crazy, just a black long sleeve and some grey jeans. Once he had finished, he had realized how much effort he was putting into his appearance and sighed softly, upset because he was ignoring what his Omega wanted.

He felt himself growing anxious as he headed towards his destination only to scoff a bit as it was a little hole in the wall. You would easily pass this place if you didn’t know what it was. As he walked closer, he saw you standing there. You were obviously as anxious as he was, but you didn’t hide it as well. You never did. 

The second your eyes met, his Omega was scratching at his chest, yelling at him to run into your arms, but he kept himself calm as he approached you. When you opened your arms cautiously, he carefully slipped into your hug before subconsciously snuggling into your scent gland like he had done years ago. He pulled away after saying hello and followed as you walked inside.

The date itself was pretty awkward at first since you both knew a lot about each other already, yet almost nothing at all. He watched as he picked up on all of your nervous habits, smiling a little when he realized that you were still so similar to how you used to be. “Do you want to hold my hand?” He asked without thinking since it was something he knew would help calm your nerves. You instantly nodded and took it before smiling a little. “They’re still so rough. Do you even know what lotion is?” You joked a little, happy to see that it made the other grin a little. “I kind of forget about it until one of my students brings some in. Normally it smells disgusting though, so I had to start threatening them with extra homework if they bring in things that gave me a headache.”

That started the conversation of UA and how you were surprised when Hizashi said that he was a teacher. “You’ve always been a natural teacher though. I know you taught me a lot when we were together.” You spoke freely before tensing up when you realized your words. Aizawa sighed a little and squeezed your hand softly. “Yeah...You taught me a lot too.”

Another round of silence before you spoke again. “Hizashi also said that every date he or Nemuri set you up on failed miserably.” Shouta only smiled a little before nodding. “Majority of them were Alphas who only wanted to mate with a pro-hero. My guess is in hopes of having strong kids. Most left during the date once they found out I didn’t want kids or that I take testosterone since that also pretty much renders me infertile.” This time you held his hand a little tighter. “Well they don’t know what you went through. Not only that, it’s your body. Since that is what you wanted, that is what you did and you shouldn’t be treated badly because of it.” 

He noticed how you seemed upset by him saying that they just left and couldn’t help but smile a little. “It makes sense to me. Why would anyone want an Omega who destroys what makes them an Omega?” You scoffed at his words and rolled your eyes. “You aren’t destroying anything, Shouta. You are doing what you need to in order to be comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that.” 

His omega purred at your words, the first time he purred since high school, and squeezed your hand softly. “You haven’t changed at all.” He chuckled and rested his other hand on top of yours before sighing. “Neither have you. It’s nice knowing I don’t have to live up to some shitty hero expectation.” He hummed before nodding in agreement. 

“I assume you’ve been on some courting dates as well?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Those weren’t shit compared to what we used to do. All they would do is complain about me not matching my hero persona and then want me to pay the bill after they spend hundreds of dollars on food.” He chuckled seeing you ramble. “They all thought because I’m a hero that I’m made of money. I have money because you taught me to save it and not spend it all the second I got my paycheck, not because I’m a hero.” 

After a bit at the cafe, you suddenly got an idea. “Sho, let's go run around the city for a bit?” He tilted his head as he sat down his empty drink. “We aren’t kids anymore-” “No, I get that, but one night. Let’s run around as if we were for one night.” He looked at your excitement and melted, feeling his omega begging him to agree. “Fine. Only because I don’t have to work tomorrow.” Seeing you cheer and stand up made him grin a bit. When you went to pay, he tried to fight over paying the bill because “You weren’t made of money” but you just flicked his head softly and told him to hush. He smiled one more time before giving in and letting you pay.

He let you drag him around the city and he couldn’t believe he was admitting this, but this was the most fun he or his omega had in a long time. Getting ice cream at 10pm, tasting random food from the vendors on the streets, window shopping, even sneaking into a drive in movie theater and renting a radio so you both could sit together and watch the movie. It made him feel young. 

It was almost sunrise and you both were walking along the beach, smiling and laughing like old times. Like how it was when you both were courting in high school. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the fact that you had scented him extremely well, but he was as giggly and happy as could be. The cool water washed past his feet, pants rolled up to make sure they wouldn’t get wet, and you hummed, feeling him squeeze your hand softly.

“Hey Shouta?” He hummed softly before grinning at you. “Thank you for agreeing to come out with me. I was really scared when Hizashi offered to push you in my direction, especially after everything that happened in our past, but I hope that we can recover what we once had.” His omega purred again causing him to press a hand to his rumbling chest. “Yeah...No problem. I should thank you for getting me out of the house. If I’m not there, I’m in the school, so I guess I did need a break from that.” You grinned and squeezed his hand. “You always have avoided things by working. Sometimes you need to take a moment to just stop and relax. Remind yourself that everything happens for a reason, and that you’re alive. That in itself is something to be grateful for.” 

He hummed in agreement before sighing softly, looking out to see that the sun was rising. “I can’t tell you the last time I stayed up this long.” He admitted. You hummed in agreement before sighing. “I guess I should take you home, huh?” He instantly let out a whine at the thought before looking at his chest with a red face. “Come on, stop actually doing stuff and go back to sleep.” he mumbled to his omega before you laughed. “It’s cute Sho. I miss hearing your omega make noises like that.” You kissed his cheek which made him turn dark and his omega to purr once more. He glared at you a little and sighed. “You’re so lucky. If it were anybody else, I would’ve left a long time ago.” 

You chuckled before turning around to walk back to where you came from, pulling him behind you. “Come on, Sho. We need to sleep.” He huffed softly but nodded, moving to rub his tired eyes. 

He led you to his apartment before stopping outside. “Have you already found a place to stay yet?” “Not quite. Currently staying at a hotel until I can fin-” “Want to move in with me?” He asked abruptly. “I mean...It’ll make rent cheaper and it’ll stop you from wasting anymore money.” You could only chuckle before taking his hands and pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Only if you agree to not be a picky eater-” “I was not a picky eater when we were togethe-” “Don’t even try me, I had to convince you to eat real food.” “Okay and your point?” 

You both couldn’t help but smile and you sighed. “Fine, I’ll move in with you tomorrow...Or I mean I guess today, but we need a nap since I kept your ass up.” He hummed and nodded. “Fine then.” He opened the door and took your hand, pulling you in after him. “Sho, what are-” “We are taking a nap together. I’ve always slept better with you.” 

Tamaki Amajiki 

(Mention of heats, harassment, and implied NSFW)

Someone please tell this boy that being an Omega hero is okay. He often feels pressured by society to fit into the soft, omega role that everybody seems to want. Yet with the help of Mirio and Nejire, he easily became one of the big 3 in UA.

Yet when it came to talking to others, especially in crowds, he felt himself grow anxious and even slightly panicked. His normal sweet yet salty scent would turn to smell more like fish during these times. This was when most Alphas would scoff in disbelief at the fact this omega seemed to be one of the big three. 

Besides Mirio and Nejire, there was one other person he found himself able to talk to due to years of knowing each other. You were an alpha who never raised your voice or got irritated by his bashfulness. In fact, you would go out of your way to show your patience and kindness by doing little things when his anxiety was getting bad. Ordering for him at restaurants, letting him hide behind you when he started to tremble, and quickly getting him away from social situations that could cause him to have an anxiety attack were just a few of the ways you showed how much you cared.

This was one of those moments. He was out with you, Mirio, and Nejire when he heard them. The alphas behind him that were starting to comment about him being an Omega in a group of three alphas. 

“Must be a Knot licker to keep three alphas to himself.” “Don’t you know that the proper term for a bitch like that is a Puppymill?” Tamaki felt himself whimper and grabbed your arm, holding you tighter as they continued on with their comments. You hummed softly, feeling him start to tremble. “In front of me baby, come on.” Your arm wrapped around him and softly pushed him in front of you, yet the comments continued. 

Your alpha had started growling, scent starting to burn. Mirio and Nejire took notice and turned to see the Alphas snickering to themselves. “B-Baby don’t-” “Tamaki I don’t like how they’re talking-” “I know but...please ignore them. I’m not worth a fight.” You glared at him as he gave a sympathetic smile. You huffed softly and wrapped your arms around his waist. “It’ll be okay guys. Let’s just get our food and we can leave. Maybe a movie night would be fun?” “Yeah! Maybe we can watch something like shark tale! Right Amajiki?” Nejire spoke happily and the Omega couldn’t help but feel thankful for his friend group at that moment, but he then noticed your grip leave his hips as your sent burned ten times more. 

Your temper was getting the best of you and before the others could say anything, you grabbed both men by their heads before slamming them together. “Will you two Knotheads shut the fuck up?! You’re making Omegas uncomfortable with your disgusting language.” Mirio was quick to start pulling you away as the two Alphas began to growl. “Come on, the last thing Amajiki would want is a fight, now stop it-” “They wouldn’t stop making comments-” “Yeah welcome to lose-tie knotheads.” He moved to sit you in front of him and Nijire, who was holding the Omegas hand to keep him calm. 

After you all left the store, you stopped for a moment and shook your head. “Don’t you fuckin-” “Hey!” One of the guys from before started walking towards you. Tamaki instantly started to tremble as the men walked closer, yet you stood without wavering. “What.” you said bluntly. “That shit you did back there? Not fuckin’ cool”

“Oh but harassing Omega’s is?” Nejire spoke before they barked at her. “Shut the fuck up Cat-Pole.” “Cat-Pole?!” You growled once again and they just smirked. Mirio simply hummed and walked beside you before pressing his hand on your shoulder, a simple gesture to them but a secret code between the two of you.

You hummed and turned back to the other two, slipping an arm around them both as you walked down the street. “W-What was that-” Then there was the yelling before Mirio skipped back with you all happily. “Took care of that!” He cooed as you all continued to walk. Tamaki blushed slightly before noticing how your hand stayed on his waist. 

When you all got back, Tamaki excused himself. He claimed not to be hungry anymore since the alphas had upset his stomach, but you knew the real reason. You told the other two about your plan and they hummed happily, letting you leave after the tall omega.

“Tama~” You called as he stopped outside of his door. “O-Oh...Is there something you need?” You nodded and held out your hand. “Come to my room for a sec okay? I have some things for you that I didn’t have time to give you.” He blushed slightly at the idea of getting something from you, but nodded. His hand slipped softly into yours as he walked behind you to your room. 

He instantly purred the second he walked in. It always was comforting in your room, and it made him accidentally chirp. He instantly blushed dark and whimpered, covering his mouth with his spare hand. “You’re alright Tama. Sit on my bed, Okay? The stuff is in my closet.” 

He carefully sat down, huffing as he started rubbing at his neck. He was one of the few Omegas who couldn’t take suppressants due to them messing with his quirk, so he knew what was happening. He had attracted those alphas because his heat was about to start any moment now. He was about to hide in his nest right before you pulled him away.

He tried to focus on anything besides how strong the scent of saltwater taffy was becoming, huffing softly as he moved to shrug off his sweater since he knew he was going to start soon. Another soft whimper came from him and you darted out of the closet. “Sorry baby, I lost one of the items. I know you’re getting uncomfortable but I wanted to give you these for your heat.”

He let out another whimper as he moved to sit on his legs instead of his ass, huffing as he quickly started digging in the bag to pull out what you wanted to him to see. He was nervous because out of the three alphas, he grew closest to you and was hoping it was a courting gift even if it was a bit late. He only gasped when he pulled out a hand crochet octopus, smiling at it and hugging it tight to his chest. “T-Thank you, Alpha.” he called out before hiding his face in the toy. 

You simply hummed and moved to stand. “That isn't all of it, but your heat is coming faster than I thought. Come on, you can open the rest in your room” He nodded and felt you move to pick him up. He gasped and held onto you as you rushed him back to his room. The other gift was in your hand, but you could only focus on how amazing Amajiki smelled. Of course you knew why, but you held back as you looked for his nest, finding it on the floor in the corner of his room. You carefully sat him down and he quickly climbed in his nest, nose shoved deep into the toy as he trembled. 

“Here Omega.” You laid the blanket at the edge of the nest, making sure not to enter without the others permission. He let out a whimper and sat up slowly to grab the blanket. He held it close to his chest and smiled, still trembling like a leaf. “I-I love them, Alpha.” He chirped again which only made you smile. “I’m glad...I wanted to court you before your heat, but I was really late.” 

Hearing that made his eyes water before he crawled to you, sitting up to wrap his arms around you and hug you tight, scenting you completely in his thick and heavy scent. You only grinned and pecked his neck which made him gasp. “You smell like the Ocean Tama. I love it.” 

His omega purred before he moved to pull you a bit. “Alpha...Stay with me?” he mumbled softly as he tried to get you to crawl in his nest. You knew what he was implying and you only smiled, pulling away slightly. “You sure baby? I haven’t even taken you on a date.” He instantly nodded with no shame at all. “Please Alpha. I want you to help me.” Your alpha chuffed which made you blush and Tamaki snort before hiding in your neck.

“Okay Omega. I’ll stay with you.” He purred loudly and held you tighter as you carried him to the door so you could shut and lock it properly. “Thank you Alpha...I love you.” He chirped out with pink cheeks. You only smiled as you carried him back to the nest and pecked his lips before resting him in his nest. “I love you too. Omega.” He chirped again happily before pulling you down with him. 

He threw a leg over your stomach and snuggled into your scent gland, humming happily at how your scent was starting to become stronger in reaction to his. “Oh...I’m sorry in advance.” He whispered and moved to start kissing on you. “Why is that?” he blushed darker and moved to hold your hand. “I uh...might get needy.” You only grinned and pecked his lips once more. “It’s your heat. I’m right here to help you. Do whatever you need, alright Omega?” He purred once more at you calling him that before he sighed happily, melting into your arms. “Alright...I’m going to take a nap...Y-You should too.” You only pulled him closer before nodding. “Okay baby, rest now. Goodnight.”

[scxrlettwxtches]

worn out jackets | hwang hyunjin

Genre: badboy!hyunjin x class president!reader, fluff, angst Warnings: cursing(?)

Word Count: +10.0k

Description: When you accidentally find yourself monitoring the detention of the school’s bad-boy prince Hwang Hyunjin, it leads to a path of personal discovery that neither of you could’ve foresaw.  Author’s Note: so i’m back. i haven’t written anything in months, but now that school started, i found a need to vent out my feelings again, so here we are. i can’t explain why my venting ended up into a 10k fic, but yeah. here’s my first stray kids imagine ever! hope you enjoy!

i.

“For the last time, Hwang Hyunjin, could you please leave me alone and let me do my job?”

The smirk you got in return gave you the answer you didn’t want to hear. It was only the two of you in the classroom, your teacher having run out long ago and making you watch over the bad-boy delinquent that was currently stuck in detention. She was probably eagerly waiting for you to walk in to receive your week’s work so she could escape the unbearable claws of Hwang Hyunjin. 

Speaking of Hyunjin, he was still staring at you with that interested spark in his eyes, as if you were some sort of toy he’d never seen. It held an intensity that you’ve never had directed at yourself before, but you held his stare steadily, only breaking your gaze to focus on the work in front of you. 

“Embarrassed, princess?” You could hear the triumphant smile in his voice, and it grated uncomfortably on your ears.

“Hardly, I just have more important things to be doing, which you apparently do not.”

“That’s not true. Believe it or not, I’m a very busy man,” Hyunjin had the audacity to look offended as he replied, perking up as he suggested, “Maybe if you--I don’t know--let me out of this stupid place early--”

“In your dreams, idiot.”

Hyunjin’s expectant face fell in a pout before it morphed almost instantly into a slightly more dangerous scowl (jeez, how does he have a facial expression for every second of his life?), “Come on, Class President,” he drawled in that deep voice he used to woo the entire female school population, “You don’t want to be such a prissy, good girl, do you?”

“Sadly for you,” you began, marking the paper you were reading with more force than necessary, “that’s exactly what I want to be.” 

Your reply made Hyunjin roll his eyes, flopping on his desk in frustration with an audible groan. Luckily for you, that was the end of his verbal annoyance, although the small wads of paper that he continuously threw your way did slow your efficiency by at least 6%.

An annoyance. That was what Hwang Hyunjin was to you.

When the second hand of the clock struck the zero to signal 5:00 pm, you leapt out of your seat even faster than the person attending detention, carefully but quickly packing your work into your worn out backpack. Without as much of a look back, you headed for the door, moving as fast as you could without it being counted as running.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, President,” Hyunjin’s teasing voice sounded from behind. In your confusion, you disobeyed your own rule to ignore Hwang Hyunjin at all costs. Something about his wording made you unsettled. After all, the two of you have many classes together (not that you checked, he was just so loud), and it would be expected to see each other the next day, so why--

Hyunjin seemed to sense your confusion, and decided to enlighten you with a piece of information, “I guess your memory isn’t as good as everyone says. Ms. Jeon said you were to monitor all my detentions.”

You didn’t like where this was heading.

“I’m in detention for a week.”

Motherfucker.

You bolted out of the classroom faster than you ever thought you could move, but not before you caught a glimpse of Hyunjin’s victorious smile. God, you just didn’t know what caused the strong feelings of hatred for him specifically. It wasn’t because he was a so-called “Stray Kid,” the nine person group of wild boys that pranced around the school like they owned it. As a matter of fact, you were quite friendly with Jisung and Jeongin, who were both part of the group (actually, Jeongin doesn’t even count. he’s a sweet summer child and you wanted nothing more than to adopt him and get those stupid boys to stop brainwashing him.)

No, it wasn’t because he was one of those boys. It just always felt like Hwang Hyunjin was created to be the exact opposite of you. 

He basked in the spotlight, and all you wanted was to disappear (the class president thing doesn’t automatically make you popular, don’t trust anime). He didn’t have a care in the world, and all you had were sleepless nights of stress, anxiety, and studying. He grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth, and he flaunted his money with every article of clothing he wore, while you were stuck with patching your overused sweaters and jeans so you could save enough money to splurge on your favorite ice cream. 

You guess you had some pretty complicated emotions about Hwang Hyunjin, but maybe it was mostly bitterness.

You pondered about it until a car swung to the front of the school to meet you, and immediately things felt just that much better.

“Hey, mom.”

“Hey, sweetie,” she smiled, pulling out of the parking lot, “School okay?”

Normally, you’d say things were good. There’s no point in bothering your mother when she was already working three to four jobs trying to pay bills. But this time, you couldn’t find it in you to pretend that you were happy.

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly.

“It might not be soon.”

ii.

Detention monitoring the third day was just as miserable as the two days before. Hyunjin apparently had no intention of letting you work in peace, and made it his personal mission to annoy you until you were fully ready to commit a serious crime.

“Does it ever get boring, doing every teacher’s paperwork?”

“No,” you answered (lied) coldly, “And put your phone away. One would think you’d know the rules of detention, seeing that you get put here so often.”

Hyunjin raised an eyebrow at your snappish insult, “God, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” he muttered loud enough so you could hear, but put his phone back in his pocket. You wanted to grab him by the collar and tell him that actually, you didn’t even get in bed last night, too busy trying to finish the work given to you. 

When he noticed you pointedly ignoring him, he groaned, the boredom of sitting in a classroom and doing nothing becoming too much for His Royal Highness, “Do people ever call you a pain in the ass?”

You shrugged, “Maybe? I don’t see how that’s supposed to affect me, though.”

“Wow,” Hyunjin sounded genuinely a little impressed, “You’re just one unbreakable ice princess, aren’t you?”

Not knowing how to answer that, you ignored him again, your anger simmering quietly under the surface. People could call you a pain in the ass, whatever, but you weren’t a princess. You didn’t kill yourself trying to earn money just to be associated with a spoiled brat. 

You were so distracted that you didn’t even notice Hyunjin getting out of his seat, prowling towards you like an experienced predator. It wasn’t until he slammed your desk hard that you jumped, and realized that Hwang Hyunjin was standing over you with eyes set to devour you alive.

Every hair on your body stood up as he bent down, his face only inches from yours. Your face grew flush, and you squeezed your eyes shut instinctively. Despite your cold, unapproachable front, you were just a stressed sixteen year old girl and oh god this asshole is going to steal your first kiss-

Your thoughts were broken by a dark chuckle, “I take back what I said,” you slowly opened your eyes to find Hyunjin still towering over you, but now moving away from your face, “Not as unbreakable as I thought.”

There was no way to describe your flushed fury and under it, the bubbling fear that was now subsiding, “Get away from me,” you said, your voice so icy Hyunjin was taken slightly aback, “You will sit in your seat for the rest of the detention or I will report you to the principal.”

Hyunjin honestly didn’t know why you sounded so angry, but he knew better than to push you any further, and sat back in his seat with an easy grace that just made you want to punch the disgusting (handsome) smirk off his face.

There were multiple more attempts by him to grab your attention, but it seemed like you had finally had enough, pointedly ignoring him until the clock struck five. Then, without a word, you stuffed the papers in your bag, not caring if they were crumpled, and stalked out of the classroom. 

As you walked towards the exit of the school, you finally remembered to check your phone, and you heart almost stopped when you saw two missed calls from your mom. As another money saving tactic, neither of you call unless things were urgent, and the fact that she called twice was enough to make you panic.

Calling her back, you continued to walk towards the school doors, every ring making you more nervous. When you heard the sound of your mom picking up, you couldn’t stop a sigh of relief, “Mom? What’s going on?”

“Hey, sweetie,” she sounded so tired, “Nothing’s wrong, don’t panic.”

“Okay,” you said doubtfully, “but you never call unless it’s urgent.”

“Everything’s fine. I just used up all my texts for the month, so I had to call,” she sighed, and you could hear the sadness in her voice, “The hospital is completely overcrowded, and they need more nurses to work additional shifts. I’m really sorry, baby, but I don’t think I can pick you up or come home tonight.”

You ignored the spike of pain in your heart, already dreading the cold, emptiness of your house tonight, “No worries, mom. I’ll be fine on my own. Don’t overwork yourself.”

She chuckled, “I’m so grateful to have a daughter like you,” noises interrupted your conversation, and she spoke again with the same tiredness as before, “I got to go back to work. Love you.”

“Love you too, mom.”

She had hung up before you could finish.

By now, you were in the outside of the school, standing in the spot your mom would typically pick you up from. You should feel disappointed, sad, anything, but this wasn’t the first time you had to spend the night by yourself. It had almost become a part of your life that you were just numb to. 

As you shuffled to slip your phone back into your backpack, you heard a familiar and unwanted voice behind you, “Where’s your ride, princess?”

“Coming,” your teeth clenched as you refused to face him. All you wanted was for him to just go away, get away from me please-

“Really?” he sounded mildly amused, as if he couldn’t believe you were still trying to put up a front, “That didn’t sound like what was happening from your phone call.”

“Do you just enjoy invading people’s privacy?” you snarled, finally whipping around to glare at a bored looking Hyunjin. 

“How are you planning to get home?” he ignored your question entirely, only fueling your anger.

Trying to control your emotions, you answered more coldly, “There’s lots of ways to get home.”

Hyunjin smirked at your unwavering consistency in confronting him, “I’m sure there are, but I was asking which way you’ll take,” God, this day was already not going so well, and this asshole just has to keep pushing more buttons.

“Public transportation.”

A victorious smile emerged on the boy’s face, as if he had already guessed, “I’ll come with you, then.”

“No way,” you growled with as much force as you could muster, backing away instinctively.

Hyunjin rolled his eyes, “Would you stop being tsundere about this? Seoul isn’t that safe at night.”

“And you’re supposed to protect me?”

“Class Prez, don’t you have any trust in me at all?”

“You tell me,” you spit viciously, and it took Hyunjin a moment to understand the incident you were thinking about. It was only then that he realized that he had genuinely scared you when he made his move.

“Ah, if you’re thinking about- uh- that thing during detention,” for the first time, Hyunjin stumbled over his words slightly and even sounded slightly ashamed, “I didn’t know it would scare you that much. That’s not the reaction it normally receives.”

You scoffed, rather betrayed but not surprised that it was as much of an apology as you would get, “Sorry to disappoint you.”

Not wanting to entertain Hwang Hyunjin any longer, you spun on your heel and began walking out of the parking lot and towards the bus stop. Pulling out your ancient looking headphones, you turned up the music to the loudest volume you could without damaging your hearing, and lost yourself to your playlist.

It wasn’t until you looked around from your seat at the bus stop that you realized that Hyunjin was also there, leaning casually on the side of a pole and scrolling through his phone. Was he actually serious about walking you home? Before he could catch you glancing at him, you looked away, unwilling to acknowledge his presence. 

When your bus arrived, you got on without a word to Hyunjin, but as you sat down in an empty seat and placed your backpack in the other, you watched as he smoothly pressed his wallet against the payment machine and stepped into the bus. 

Okay, so maybe he was serious.

As you walked on, you had noticed that the only two empty seats were now occupied by you and your backpack, and you weren’t that cruel. As Hyunjin walked through the center of the bus, you silently removed your bag from the seat next to you, a clear signal. 

Hyunjin’s smile (note: it was a smile this time, not a smirk) was almost enough to stop you from regretting that decision.

He sat down beside you without all his usual swagger, and looked at you almost expectantly, but you weren’t in the mood to start chit chatting. Honestly, when would you ever be in the mood to willingly have a conversation with him. 

Keeping your eyes directed outside the window, you promptly ignored Hyunjin’s presence, only occasionally exchanging accidental glances when you looked to check the number of stops. To your surprise, he was mostly quiet throughout the trip, and when the bus made it to a random place in the bustling part of downtown Seoul, you quietly began to shuffle around. 

“Is this your stop?” Hyunjin leaned towards you and whispered. You shrugged halfheartedly, brushing off his question, but Hyunjin seemed satisfied, leaning back in his seat with a happy expression on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” you asked as you pushed him to get off, the bus pulling into the stop. 

Hyunjin’s smile widened, and for a split second, you allowed yourself to admire his handsome face, “Because,” he grinned, “the fact that you heard me means that you lowered your music volume enough to hear if I was speaking.”

Your face felt hot, and you could vaguely remember pressing the volume button down almost unconsciously. And maybe, just maybe, you were waiting for Hyunjin to start talking first. But god, did you hope that he didn’t catch on to that. 

You stalked off the bus with a thoroughly amused boy at your tail. 

As you walked down the busy street, the neon ads flashing and the after school life bustling, you stopped at a tall skyscraper that you recognized was an apartment complex. Hyunjin looked at the building and whistled.

“Is this your place? Damn, you really are a princess, Class President,” there wasn’t any malice that you could detect in his voice, but the words carved deep wounds as you faced him, still avoiding his gaze.

“Don’t call me that, Hyunjin,” you spoke softly, but you knew he heard you, because the cocky smile faltered ever so slightly. Then, swallowing your pride, you gave him a quick bow, “Thanks for taking me home.”

Hyunjin glanced away, rubbing the back of his neck and looking nothing like the sadistic playboy persona he had in school, “Ah, don’t make it so formal, Prez.” The two of you stood there for an awkward moment, before you half walk, half sprinted into the building. 

iii.

Hyunjin watched as you entered the building, and deciding that you were safely inside, turned around to make his own way home. His brain was muddled with various thoughts, though most of them pertained to you. 

You had shut down his princess pet name so seriously that his bravado had fell apart almost instantly. Every time he called you that, he could see the aggravation it caused you, which gave him a strange sort of glee. It wasn’t often that one could see the Class President get riled up, and he loved that it was a side of you that only he could see.

Still, the way you had snapped this time, not furiously like you usually reacted, but softly as if broken and resigned, almost made him feel guilty. For the first time, you addressed him directly by his name (despite the context, his name sounded so right falling from your lips), and the fact that you did made him wonder just why “princess” made you so angry.

Despite his determination to be cool, swag, come on Hwang Hyunjin don’t get soft over one girl--, he found himself looking back at your apartment complex, only to spot you quietly walking out of the building and back onto the street.

Now, this was interesting. Hyunjin watched as you turned down a corner, and delightedly decided follow you in a totally not creepy way. He was just making sure you were safe (and also wanted to see what sort of shenanigans the class president gets herself into).

The street you had turned into was significantly less lit, suddenly taking on a suspicious energy. Hyunjin scrunched his nose as the smell of trash and sewage filled his nose, and he briefly wondered if you were worth him dirtying his new shoes for.

(Yes, the answer was always yes.)

From what he could see, you seemed unnervingly familiar with this road, not even flinching at the way your shoes got dirty, or the smells that pervaded his nose. He followed you at a distance, but with your headphones on, it wasn’t like you could hear him. 

He had decided not to make his presence known, sure that you would lash out and never show him whatever secret business you were doing. Still, he almost broke his own rule multiple times, when he caught some dirty looking men leering at you from the sides of the road. He clenched his fists, unnaturally aggravated and itching to punch a couple of them, but he made no moves.

It was until he turned the corner you had half a minute ago that he saw you walking towards a very, very run down house. You didn’t go to the real door though, instead making your way towards a side entrance. Hyunjin looked around the neighborhood, losing focus on you until he suddenly heard a very vulgar curse spill out of your mouth.

“God fucking dammit,” you spit, Hyunjin feeling his heart jump in surprise at your surprising language. He watched as you frantically looked under the doormat and through your backpack, growling in frustration as you pounded on the door, “Mom, come on!”

Despite his less than adequate grades (whatever, he could just pay any university to let him in), Hyunjin wasn’t dumb, and it didn’t take him more than a second to realize that this was your house, your real house. It wasn’t that fancy apartment complex he had dropped you off at, it was this building that looked a push away from falling apart.

Oh, that’s why she hates being called princess.

And the guilt from before crashed back down on him like a tsunami wave.

iv.

Of all things that could happen, of course your mom would forget to put the key back. She had taken yours two days before, and it seemed like you now had no way of getting in your house. 

Defeated, you let your head fall on the wooden door, not too hard but enough to make it pulse in pain. Tears threatened to fill your eyes, and you angrily blinked them away because it’s just an accident, this isn’t the worst you’ve been through, pull yourself together-

“So, this is where you really live.”

Without thinking and almost entirely on instinct, your backpack slips off your shoulders and you swing it behind you, fully ready to smack whoever was talking with the full force of both your calculus and history textbooks.

“Did you fucking stalk me?” you snapped, the backpack falling out of your hands in shock as none other than Hwang Hyunjin stood before you, his hands raised up in defense.

“Well, I wasn’t going to until I saw you sneak out of the building like a thief--hey!” he exclaimed indignantly as you picked up your backpack and pushed past him forcefully, “Where are you going?”

“Away from you!” you spit venomously, and ow, that one kinda stung, Hyunjin thought.

“Why aren’t you going inside?”

“God, Hwang Hyunjin,” you suddenly sounded so tired, so worn out, nothing like the firm, cold Class President he was used to. And again, you used his real name (it wasn’t like his heart jumped again), “can you please just leave me alone?”

“You’re locked out, aren’t you?” you avoided his eyes, something you seemed to do whenever you were caught, “What are you going to do until someone comes with the key?”

“I’ll figure something out,” you snapped, clearly trying to push him away, “My mom’s coming home soon, so can you please just go?”

That’s a lie, and Hyunjin knew it. He heard your phone call and he knew your mom wasn’t coming back tonight.

“Stay at my place,” the words fell out before he could process them, and even you dropped your defenses for a moment in surprise before your eyes narrowed again.

Hyunjin backtracked immediately, “Not in a weird way, like I’m trying to seduce you!” he wondered why he was trying so hard to explain himself, “I’m sure some other people will be crashing there too, if you’re worried about being alone with me.”

For a moment, he could see it. The want, the pure desire to be with others, to not be alone. Then, you looked conflicted, but Hyunjin had caught you at a point where you were without options.

“Whatever. If I think for any second that I’m being taken advantage of, I’m calling the cops.”

Your normal snappishness had returned somewhat, and Hyunjin couldn’t help but feel relieved. It made his heart hurt, when he saw you so broken and defeated. Not that he cared, of course.

v.

You couldn’t help but be a little let down that Hyunjin’s place wasn’t a mansion like many people have whispered about around the school. A penthouse condo in the center of Seoul wasn’t anything less than expensive and it screamed money in bold comic-sans font, but it sort of ruined your spoiled, prince-like impression of Hwang Hyunjin.

Something must’ve shown on your face as the two of you made it to the door, because Hyunjin smirked, “Disappointed?”

“I was expecting some sort of fancy mansion,” you answered honestly, shrugging.

Hyunjin couldn’t help but giggle, the sweet sound contrasting to his black leather jacket and his unseemly uniform, “Nah, the mansion is my mom and dad’s. This is my own place that I bought to, you know, hang.”

You take back what you thought. Still a spoiled prince.

Hyunjin unlocked the door and gestured for you to enter first, following after you and shutting the door with a loud bang. He silently asked for your jacket, and you were in the process of shrugging it off when voices yelled from what you imagined was the living room.

“Oi, Hyunjin! What took you so long?” a low voice that sounded strangely familiar called out.

“Sorry, I brought a guest over!” 

It got eerily quiet for a second, before you heard the sound of chaos as multiple people seemed to step over one another. What were they doing?

“Since when did you hang out with anyone but us?”

Hyunjin made an offended noise, and you almost laughed. Almost.

“Why don’t you come over and say hi?”

A flurry of motion happened and before you knew it, eight boys stood in front of you, wide-eyed and curious. Of course it was Stray Kids. You beat yourself up inwardly for not expecting this. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

Your heart fluttered with relief because for the first time that day, you finally saw someone that knew you, cared about you. Without hesitation, you ran into Han Jisung’s arms, who looked both shocked and concerned as he immediately held you. Jeongin, who was the last to walk from the living room to the hallway, pushed through the rest of the boys to rest a gentle hand on your back, frantically asking you what was wrong.

Hyunjin felt himself grip your jacket tightly, fist clenched until his knuckles were white, feeling uncharacteristically angry, “Do you guys know each other?”

Jisung pried his worried eyes away from your trembling form in his arms and answered, “We’re good friends.”

Ah, so you didn’t hate him because he was a Stray Kid. Until then, Hyunjin was sure that the main reason you looked at him with such anger was because he was in this group, a gang of rowdy boys that weren’t satisfied by following the rules. But as he watched Jisung pull you towards the couch still holding you, your own hands clutching his sleeves tightly, Hyunjin realized that there was an entirely different reason for your hatred that he didn’t know about. 

Hyunjin hung up your jacket at the hanger, and was dead set on joining Jisung with his goal of comforting you when a hand grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the kitchen.

“Any reason you brought your Class President to your apartment?” Chan asked suspiciously, “I wasn’t aware you guys knew each other.”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes because god, can Chan act any more like an absolute dad?

“We met in detention yesterday.”

“The class president was in detention?”

“What? No, she’d never do anything that would put her in detention,” Hyunjin scoffed, “Ms. Jeon made her monitor my detentions for the week.”

“Detention for a week?!” Chan exclaimed, “Hyunjin, we talked about this. Shit, if your parents find out-”

“I know, I know,” Hyunjin snapped, “I’ll figure it out, okay?” 

Chan sighed tiredly, and Hyunjin felt a little jolted about how similar it sounded to you when you looked too burdened and too young to be faced with so much pressure. 

“Fine, but how does the class prez monitoring your detention lead you to bringing her here?” Chan’s eyes narrowed as his voice grew annoyed, “I swear, if you brought another one for a quick hookup-”

“No!” Hyunjin yelled louder than he expected, his heart pounding. The very thought of toying with you and then throwing you to the side (which, sadly, is not an uncommon occurrence) made him feel strangely sick, “No, I walked her home, and when she couldn’t find her key, I offered to let her spend the night.”

“Wow, you walked her home?” Jisung entered the kitchen, grabbing a glass and opening the fridge to find a drink (juice), “Since when did you do that for anyone?”

Hyunjin was beginning to grow annoyed at his friends’ constant suspicion of his actions. These were good deeds, bad boy Hyunjin was literally just trying to be nice and what did he get in return? An absolute roasting.

“Well, I did it, so fuck off,” he suddenly remembered that Jisung was just with you, “Is--uh--class prez okay?”

Jisung scowled, “Bro, you know her name is Y/N. Maybe you can stop calling her class prez?” he picked up the glass full of orange juice and made his way out of the kitchen, “She’s fine, just not having a great day.”

“Wow, I couldn’t tell.” 

“You know,” Jisung spoke sharply, and Hyunjin was beginning to feel like the embers of their past conflicts were growing brighter. They haven’t had a fight in a while, but Jisung seemed quite riled up, “a lot of it was your fault.” 

Hyunjin scowled, because why was everyone just getting on his case today? He was being nicer than he had ever been for months, and all everyone’s doing was defending you. Angrily, he pushed past Jisung to stalk to his room, “Whatever.”

vi.

You must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because when you opened your eyes, you found the sky dark and you laying in Jisung’s arms. As you tried to swallow, your throat burned from thirst, and you silently untangled yourself from your friend so you could get a drink. 

Once you stumbled into the kitchen, you realized that you had no idea where anything was, and you resorted to the most logical solution of opening every single drawer until you found something and why were almost all of these empty--

“Looking for something?” you gasped in fright and whipped around to see Hwang Hyunjin standing in the doorway dressed in a comfortable hoodie and sweatpants. From his squinting eyes and raspy voice, he probably just woke up as well. 

“Oh, yeah,” you tore your eyes away from him and tilted you head towards the drawers, “I’m trying to grab a drink, but I can’t find any cups.”

Hyunjin sighed, as if you were forcing him to do something he wouldn’t ever do to save his own life, but hobbled to a drawer that you haven’t opened yet and pulled out two plastic cups, “There are drinks in the fridge.” 

“Thanks,” you moved to open the fridge, only for Hyunjin to open it for you and grab what looked like orange juice. Your favorite. 

As he poured his own cup, he must’ve noticed your interested stare since he beckoned you over and poured you a cup as well. It was then that you noticed that this Hyunjin was different from the one you knew. The one you see at school is all sharp edges, dangerous activities, and an untouchable aura that hurt everyone that tried to get close. The one you see now was soft, vulnerable, and everything that Hwang Hyunjin wasn’t supposed to embody. 

The two of you drank in silence, which was okay with you, but seemed to make Hyunjin uncomfortable enough that he decided to try his hand in small talk, “Does your--uh--mom know you’re here?”

“No,” you said, “Don’t wanna use phone minutes for something like this. I’m not gonna see her until after school tomorrow anyway.”

Hyunjin picked up a home phone lying on the kitchen counter and handed it to you, “It doesn’t use phone call minutes, if you want to let her know.”

You took it hesitantly, slightly cautious that it might be a prank, but Hyunjin’s posture was completely relaxed, open, “Is-is it,” you began, licking your lips, “is it okay if I call now?”

“Go for it.”

Hyunjin could only stare as you sent him a small, grateful smile (the first one you’ve ever given him) and disappeared down the hallway to call your mom. No, he absolutely wasn’t starstruck, but there was something about that small albeit hesitant smile that just lit up the room. It was almost like Hyunjin thought you were seriously beautiful--

No way. He smacked his head in frustration. He couldn’t fall for someone, not after three days. This wasn’t a kdrama, and love certainly never worked that way. 

But it wasn’t exactly just three days, his brain whispered. If he had to admit it to himself, Hyunjin was always aware of your presence. I mean, how could he not, when you were the only one that wasn’t all over the floor to please him and also seemed to have a great disliking for him. Maybe he was slightly masochistic, but he had found your silent coldness towards him rather alluring.

No. It couldn’t happen. Even if Hyunjin did admit he was ever so slightly attracted to you, it would never happen. He would never let it happen. You were too good, too genuine, too true to your own feelings for him to taint with his bad habits and dark thoughts. 

“Here,” Hyunjin looked up, startled as you handed him back the phone, so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice you walk back to the kitchen. You stared at him suspiciously, honestly a little worried about how jumpy he looked.

Hyunjin took the phone silently, and you maneuvered past him to grab your cup of orange juice, “Did you get to talk to your mom?”

“Yeah, yeah,” you didn’t smile, but your face glowed with more happiness than it had the last couple days.

Swallowing your pride (it seems that Hyunjin had a knack of making you say things you don’t normally want to say), you cleared your throat and tugged on Hyunjin’s sleeve, since he was too spaced out to notice that you wanted to say something.

“Um, Hyunjin,” the boy flinched slightly as his head whipped to look at you. God, you didn’t even want to think about how flushed your face was, “Thank you for today.”

Hyunjin looked dazed for a long moment, and you were beginning to worry that you had accidentally broken him. Then he smiled, not that smirk that was so infamous in school, but that smile that made him so soft, genuine, and totally didn’t send your heart spiraling in the most disgusting way.

“Can I ask you a question?” You gestured for Hyunjin, who looked rather hesitant, to continue.

“Do you hate me?”

If he had asked you this question the day before, you would’ve answered without hesitation that yes, you hated everything that was associated or directly related to Hwang Hyunjin so get out of my face. But now, you weren’t sure what the answer was.

“I did,” you said carefully, watching as Hyunjin’s face fell slightly.

“Why? I thought it was because I’m Stray Kid, but then I see you with Jeongin and Jisung. What is so wrong with me that makes you despise me over others?” his voice broke ever so slightly at the end, and behind his bruised knuckles, playboy persona, and leather jackets, you could see his desperate need for validation.

Your heart hammered as you gripped his sleeve, “It-it doesn’t really have much to do with you,” and to be completely honest with yourself, it really didn’t, “It’s true that I’m not a fan of you hooking up with random girls and just throwing them away after you’re done with them, and I don’t particularly appreciate you breaking the rules all the time since I’m your class president and technically responsible for all your shi–actions,” you hastily corrected yourself. 

“But the reason I hated you wasn’t because of any of those things, at least I don’t think so,” you continued, softer than before as if by doing so, Hyunjin would stop pressing you for answers, “It was something a lot more personal than about you.” 

“Personal?” Hyunjin grabbed your hand that was still on his sleeve almost unconsciously, holding it gently. His eyes were wide as he asked urgently, “Have I ever done something to you–,” 

“No, no!” you squeezed your eyes shut, “I promise, it really doesn’t have anything to do with you and how you treat me, so could you please drop it?” 

“No,” he said stubbornly, holding your hand tighter, “I need to know what I did wrong to make you hate me–,” 

You were beginning to grow frustrated, not really wanting to have a conversation like this while you were still tired and drained, “I told you, it’s not you. It’s my own problem, so don’t worry about it, okay?” 

The boy asked snappishly, “How exactly am I not supposed to worry about it? Could you please cut the bullshit and just tell me what the fuck I’ve done–“

“Hyunjin!” for the first time that night, you raised your voice, and Hyunjin only then realized how shaken up you were. Your lip trembled like you were about to cry (that’s not possible, because you’re so strong, so unbreakable) as you tried to free your hand from his grip.

Hyunjin let go immediately, a flash of guilt on his face as you shrunk away from him a little, “Hyunjin,” you repeated, your tone softer and more tired than before, “please don’t push the topic anymore. I-it’s not like I’m trying to hide anything or be all secretive about it, I just—“ your voice choked up, “I don’t think I can bear saying it out loud. Maybe someday soon, I’ll have the courage to admit it to you, but not today. I just can’t, okay?”

There was something so vulnerable about the way you were speaking, Hyunjin felt all the fight leave his body as he moved forward to reach for you, calling your name. He tried not to feel horribly disappointed when you backed away even further, stretching your arms in front of you as if trying to maintain the distance between the two of you. 

“I think I’m feeling a little drowsy, so I’ll go to sleep” you lied, and Hyunjin knew it, “Thank you for letting me stay over, Hyunjin. It really does mean a lot to me.”

As you curled under the fluffy blankets, lying on the sofa next to Jisung (that boy could sleep through the apocalypse if no one woke him up), you couldn’t help but feel that you and Hyunjin always seemed to go one step forward and then two steps backwards. You wanted to be honest with him, you really did. You wanted to admit that you may have misjudged him, that he had been nothing but kind to you for the day, and had never actually done anything to hurt you. 

It was too bad that your feelings regarding Hwang Hyunjin were so tangled in envy, jealousy, admiration and guilt that you couldn’t imagine yourself admitting any of those things to him in person. 

Maybe your relationship with him was just destined to fall apart. 

vii.

After all the chaos of the night before, it felt odd to return back to school like nothing had happened. You walked to school on your own, sneaking out of Hyunjin’s apartment as the rest of the boys were sleeping. You went about your day doing the same thing as before, crossing paths with Hyunjin or any of the Stray Kid members without batting an eyelash or giving any indication that you knew them at all. Hyunjin did the same, back to his leather jackets and battle hardened smirks. 

That’s why, when you walked into the detention room with a new bag full of papers, you weren’t sure which Hyunjin to expect, or if Hyunjin would even show up at all. 

To your surprise, he was there before you were, his eyes closed as he dozed off on his arm. All his previous sharpness had disappeared as he slept, a gentle expression gracing his face. Without his piercing gaze always staring at you like he was reading your soul, you could finally take a moment and admire just how seriously handsome Hwang Hyunjin was. 

You gently shifted his arms to place him in a more comfortable position, and as you stared at his peaceful face, you couldn’t help but move to brush a stray hair out of his face. Even though he was asleep, your face flushed at how soft his locks were, and you had a festering urge to run your hands through his hair–

“Enjoying the view?” 

Letting out a silent scream, you flung yourself backwards, about to fall into the desk behind you as Hyunjin’s inhuman reflexes grabbed your wrist and pulled you forward. You caught yourself on the edge of his desk, but his face was still only inches from yours. Internally combusting, you pulled yourself upright, face hot and flushed.

“Sorry, did I scare you?” Hyunjin didn’t sound ‘sorry’ at all, but his voice held a tone of concern, “It would’ve been a pretty bad fall if you hit your side on the desk over there.”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, moving to go back to your own desk, only to find Hyunjin still holding onto your wrist, absentmindedly rubbing circles on the back of your hand. Clearing your throat, you looked at your hand pointedly, raising your eyebrows. 

Hyunjin only then seemed to notice that he was still playing with your hands, realizing with a jolt. He held it for a second longer, as if studying how your hands fit strangely perfect together, before letting go with an infuriating smirk. 

Telling your heart to calm the fuck down, you went back to your seat and pulled out the new load of work given to you by the teachers. As usual, it was impossible for Hyunjin to sit still any longer than thirty seconds, and before you knew it, he was bothering you again. 

Slinking over to your desk, he peered over your shoulder to see what you were doing, and you had long given up telling him to stay put. 

“Are you,” Hyunjin’s eyes glanced through the red markings you were making on a person’s math test, “grading papers?” 

“You’ve bothered me for two days about being a teacher’s pet and doing all their work, but you didn’t know I was grading papers,” you said, deadpanned. 

The boy grew rather defensive, “I didn’t actually look at what you were doing,” when you didn’t even bother answering him (only giving him an exaggerated eye roll), he wondered aloud, “Why would you willingly grade papers, though?” 

“It’s my part time job,” you said distractedly, focus still on the paper in front of you, “The teachers pay me to do their grading for them.” 

“How much do they pay you?”

You shrugged, “It’s not much, but it’s still money,” you finished rather bitterly, swallowing down the green monster of envy rising in your throat.

“And you have to do,” Hyunjin stared at the large pile of stapled packets on your desk, “all of this?’

“Yeah, and the ones in that bag,” you kicked your foot out to bring his attention to a tote bag stuffed to the brim with even more papers. 

Hyunjin gave a long look at the mountains of work surrounding you, and with a resigned sigh, he bent down to pull out a large stack of paper from your bag.

“Woah, woah,” with a reflex Hyunjin didn’t know you had, your foot shot out and pressed against his arm, “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” he pushed your foot away easily, and walked away with a stack of papers, “I’m gonna grade some of these.”

You must’ve been murdered last night because there was absolutely no way Hyunjin just said that he was going to grade papers, “You’re going to grade papers? Who are you and what have you done to Hyunjin?”

The boy snatched up a random red pen from the teacher’s desk and turned to give you a defensive glare, “You don’t sound convinced.”

“Hate to break it to you, I’ve seen and graded enough of your tests that my doubts are highly warranted.”

“Relax, Class Prez,” Hyunjin drawled, “I know what I’m doing.”

You decided there was no point in arguing with him any longer (the paper’s won’t grade themselves after all), so you relented doubtfully, “I want to read through your work after the first one you grade, though,” Hyunjin didn’t answer, already working on looking through the first test.

Maybe giving Hyunjin something concrete to do wasn’t the worst idea ever, because for the first time since you’ve been forced to monitor his detentions, you finally got some peace and quiet to focus only on your work. You actually forgot Hyunjin was in the room for a good ten minutes, until you realized that he was grading papers unsupervised and that was not okay.

Glancing over to Hyunjin, you grew anxious when you saw that he was on the third packet. Stalking to his desk, you snatched one from his growing pile of finished tests. Your brain ran on overdrive trying to think of any other task you could give him and—huh. What do you know. Hyunjin’s grading was actually good.

You scanned through the test, and as far as you could see, all his markings were correct. The comments were concise and easy to understand. If you had to admit, his were almost as good as yours, and certainly better than your teacher’s.

“Close your mouth, baby,” Hyunjin sounded unbearably smug, but in some way, he did deserve it. Without another word, you put the test back in his pile and went back to your work. 

Still, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you just saw. Hyunjin was smart, really smart. No one would be able to write comments like he did unless they fully understood the material and knew it inside and out. So Hyunjin was insanely capable, but you didn’t get it. Why has he never shown it? You’ve graded more than a dozen of his exams, and he had never gotten higher than a passing grade.

What was he pretending for?

The two of you worked in relative silence, and before you knew it, the clock struck five. Putting your pen down, you took a deep, incredulous breath. You finished. With Hyunjin’s help, you actually finished all the work you had to grade. Maybe today, you could finally get some sleep at a human hour and even get some time to relax.

“You’re quite a bookworm actually,” too elated to care, you found yourself teasing Hyunjin, who scowled, a light blush on his cheeks.

“Am not,” he grumbled, and you almost giggled at how utterly adorable he was when he pouts. 

“Admit it,” you grinned, “It’s too late to take it back now.”

Hyunjin opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, a loud vibration interrupted the two of you. Patting his pant pocket, he pulled out his phone, a curious expression on his face that completely died the moment he read the caller ID. It was quite scary actually, the way all emotion drained from his face, like a demon had just sucked the life out of him. 

He glanced at you, “Do you mind if I—“ he gestured to the phone, and you nodded immediately, a little concerned with what was going on.

Knowing that it wasn’t your place to eavesdrop, you decided to step out of the room to give Hyunjin some privacy. You were out the door and about to head to the girl’s bathroom when you heard it. 

“I-I’m sorry, mother. I’ll be better.”

It was Hyunjin, you were sure, but it didn’t sound like him at all. His voice sounded choked up and filled with so much pain that you froze in your steps. You had never heard him cracking like this, and you couldn’t help but listen outside the classroom, standing just right of the door.

Luckily (or unluckily) for you, the phone was rather loud, and as you inched closer, you could make out most of what the person on the other end was saying.

“I’m here trying to enjoy my vacation, finally some alone time with your father,” the voice on the phone wasn’t shouting, but it was cold indifference, and you couldn’t help but feel on edge just from listening, “And you just had to ruin it.”

Hyunjin didn’t—couldn’t—answer, only silently waiting for more of his mother’s scathing remarks, “He’s furious, you know. I hope you’re ready for what you’ll be getting once we come back.”

“Do you know how embarrassing it is, having a son like you?” His mother continued, before sighing, “A spoiled, useless idiot like you being the successor of the Hwang family? Hah! Don’t make me laugh. Yeji is younger than you, and she’s already done enough to make you worthless. This is why I always wish you never existed—“

You’ve heard enough. Vision red, you stalked back into the room, walking to Hyunjin, who’s eyes were trembling both from fear and guilt. Without an explanation, you snatched the phone away from the boy, pressing it to your own ears.

“Mrs. Hwang, am I correct in assuming?” you asked pleasantly.

There was a moment of silence before she barked harshly, “Who is this?” 

“I’m the Class President of Hyunjin’s Class,” you said, your voice lilting up as if you were bursting with happiness, “I caught the tail end of your conversation with your son, and I wanted to let you know just how good of a job he’s doing!”

Hyunjin stared at you like you had grown two heads, and his mother was probably thinking the same, “What do you mean?” 

You giggled, “Well, I understand that you’re on vacation, and seeing that you haven’t been present for many of the parent-teacher conferences these last couple years, I figured that your information might be a little out of date regarding how Hyunjin’s doing. Actually, we were just grading the last of the math tests for this month!”

“Wasn’t he in detention?” Hyunjin’s mother really had manners poorer than the drunk guys you see walking home, her tone of voice impatient and snappish as if the world should naturally obey her every whim.

“Detention?” you feigned shock, “Not at all! Being given the responsibility to handle the tests of the entire student body is a huge privilege, and I couldn’t have imagined anyone else helping me.”

You took the woman’s silence as an opportunity to end the call, “Actually, I think we have some more papers to look over. I hate to remind you, but calling a student during school hours is prohibited unless it’s an absolute emergency. If Ms. Jeon caught us calling, she’d blow a fuse,” you laughed, “Guess we’d better get back to work. It was great talking to you, Mrs. Hwang!”

Pressing the red button before she had a chance to reply, you breathed a sigh of relief as you put the phone down. Remembering why you had grown so angry that you blatantly lied about a person’s school record, you turned to face Hyunjin, unsure of his reaction.

It wasn’t entirely obvious at first glance, but it was clear to you that Hyunjin was not okay. He stared at the wall without truly looking, his normally defiant posture now sagging. You felt him flinch when you brushed your hand over his.

“Hey,” you prodded as gently as you could, “Let’s go grab a snack at the convenience store,” Hyunjin nodded, allowing you to lead him out of the classroom.

It was rather a blessing that the school wasn’t too crowded, and no one was around when the two of you walked out of the building. Rumors were the last thing you or Hyunjin needed right now. Because of this, you decided to head to the confidence store farther away from the school, near a small children’s park.

This whole time as you walked, Hyunjin didn’t speak once, only following you silently. It was then that you realized how comforting Hyunjin’s nonstop bothering had become to you. Still, he never pulled his hand away from yours, holding it like a precious lifeline that he might crush if he squeezed too hard. 

You made it to a park bench, and it almost scared you how obedient he was, sitting down without a snarky remark or even a hint of a smirk.

“Wait here,” you said, pulling your wallet out of your backpack, “I’ll grab something for us.” 

When you returned, half expecting Hyunjin to have left already, he was still sitting on the bench, his body hunched over with his head resting on his hands. He looked so defeated, and you wondered to yourself how taking the richest boy in school to a dirt cheap convenience store was going to make things any better. 

“Here,” you said awkwardly, watching as Hyunjin slowly lifted his head up, his long black hair masking parts of his face. Still, you could see the genuine surprise on his face as he took your offering with a soft spoken thank you.

The two of you ate in absolute silence, Hyunjin probably because he just had what could be the worst phone call in history, and you because...well, you just had no idea what the word socializing meant. 

“How did you know I like sushi?” Hyunjin’s voice startled you, and you took a minute to process his words.

You laughed, trying to hide the blush on your face, “Whenever you eat lunch, it’s always some sort of onigiri or masubi, so I just assumed it was your favorite.” 

“Were you watching me?” he asked curiously, and wow your face must’ve been bright red at this point. 

“Not you specifically,” you said hastily, “Your group tends to attract a lot of attention, in case you didn’t know.” 

(That was a lie, since you didn’t know what any other member eats for lunch.)

Hyunjin seemed to realize that, “I see,” he answered simply, but you could see the corner of a smile creeping back onto his face.

Knowing that there might not be a better time, you started, “Um, so about what I said on the phone...I actually have access to the school system, perks of being a teacher’s pet,” you chuckled, expecting Hyunjin to catch on to your use of the nickname he gave you, but it seemed to fly over his head, “If your mom ever gets on your case like that again, I could alter the records and take out your detention. “ 

Hyunjin gaped at you, wide-eyed and you couldn’t miss the light blush on his cheeks, “You would—you’d do that?” 

Instinctively, you scowled, not used to being looked at with such admiration especially not from this boy, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m not encouraging you to get more detentions,” you warned before softening, “But yeah, so if your parents hound you about it, just let me know.”

For the first time, Hyunjin was literally stunned into silence. The staring grew too much for you, and eventually you looked down at your legs, avoiding his eyes. 

“You must think I’m insane,” Hyunjin chuckled, and you hated the bitter, self hatred woven into every syllable, “A boy who loves getting in trouble can’t even stand one  lecture from his mom.”

“Hyunjin, answer me honestly,” you began, forgetting about your delicious ice cream bar for a moment, “Do you actually enjoy getting in trouble?”

“Or,” you closed your eyes, already predicting how harsh this might sound, “Do you just want attention?”

The boy next to you didn’t answer. He didn’t even flinch, and you were beginning to worry that he had grown so offended by your statement that he’d shut you out completely. As you peeked from the corner of your eye, what you would’ve never expected was to see Hyunjin’s beautiful eyes shimmering as tears silently fell down his face.

Hyunjin was crying. 

Hyunjin was crying oh fuck—

“Shit—crap, I’m sorry,” your hands waved around wildly before fumbling for your backpack, frantically searching for some tissues. Pulling out some new ones, you turned back to hand them to Hyunjin, but seeing that he was in no shape to take them from you, you resorted to helping him. As gently as you could, you wiped the tears from his face, occasionally using your thumb to brush a stray tear away.

“Y/N,” Hyunjin choked, and the way he called your name was so damn heartbreaking that you immediately stopped what you were doing, your hands still gently cupping his face.

In his eyes, you could see such a mural of emotions, so many layers that were hidden away and buried by shame. For the first time, you could finally see the Hyunjin that he had tried so hard to pretend didn’t exist. And for the first time, you didn’t see the rich prince you would never be able to relate to, but you saw a boy who had lived a life so lonely that even his money wasn’t enough to satiate the hole in his heart.

“Oh, Hyunjin,” you said sadly, brushing his wet bangs out of his face, “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. I’ll be here.”

Hyunjin’s shoulders trembled, and without warning, he buried his face into your shoulder, and wept. The cries were gut wrenching, filled with so much pain, and you silently sent a “fuck you” towards the people that had broken Hyunjin to this point. Your hands ran through his damp, sweaty hair comfortingly, and Hyunjin responded by burying his head farther into the crook of your neck.

“I hate it,” he sobbed, “I hate waking up every day knowing that they’d rather go on five consecutive business trips than cross paths with me at home. I hate knowing that they fly to the United States to go visit Yeji on a whim, but they would never return to their home country if it means interacting with me.” 

“But the worst thing,” Hyunjin choked, and you shushed him gently, telling him to breathe, “the worst thing is that I still want them to be here. I still want them to know that I exist. I passed all the college entrance exams in the beginning of high school to show that I was capable. I won dance competitions throughout the country to show that I was passionate about things that I loved. All I ever got was text to tell me to move my competition earnings to their bank account.”

You stayed silent, knowing that nothing you could say would have any meaning, not when you still didn’t completely understand the whole dynamics of his family. You did have enough to deduce that his parents were assholes, though.

“Then, I stopped searching for their approval, and began just trying to get their attention,” he hiccuped, his tone turning from sad to bitter, “I started throwing outrageous parties at their place. I started smoking visibly around people I knew would report back to them. I started getting involved with the wrong crowd, ending up being beat up almost every weekend,” he smiled, “It was a miracle  that I found Chan there one day, and he saved me before I could get myself killed.” 

“Hyunjin,” you began fiercely, shifting so you could stare him straight in the eyes, “No one, not even your parents, deserve you to change who you are just to get them to notice you. If you care about them more than they care about you, people like that aren’t worth it.” 

The boy sounded laughed softly, “Huh, that’s almost exactly what Chan told me.” 

“Because it’s the truth, idiot.”

Hyunjin hummed distractedly, and as he looked off into the distance, tears pooled in his eyes again, “I know it’s true. But it still hurts,” he said sadly, and you pulled him into your embrace again, comforting him quietly.

viii.

As he cried into your shoulder, his tears staining your jacket (which he silently noted was worn out and thin, too thin for the winter weather), Hyunjin realized that he was going to have to break his former promise. 

You, who had nothing, was willing to swallow your bitterness to comfort him, a spoiled brat who had everything. (He always caught onto the jealousy you threw in his direction; maybe he was just too ashamed to admit it.) You, who would skip lunch for days in a row (he knew you did that, he saw you slink away from the cafeteria many times with a forlorn look at the lunch line), spent the money to buy him sushi because you remembered that he liked it. And you, the girl whose responsibilities were to enforce school rules, were willing to break into the school system just so he didn’t have to face another lecture from his parents. 

It’s no use, Hyunjin thought, as he leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around you. I can’t just fall out of love with her at this point.

He’s already in too deep to get out now. 

~~~

a/n: oh btw, there is a part 2 of this that im writing if anyone wants to read it lol

[purplesurveys]

1120

[created by: vyvyan86]

What do you do for work? I work at a public relations agency, so I handle servicing for a good number of clients across different industries. PR is basically like the extroverted sibling of journalism; and since I turned out to not enjoy journ, I gave PR a try halfway through my time in college and ended up liking it more.

What would you ideally like to do for work? I actually really enjoy what I do, like getting to work directly with big local and even international brands. I’m glad I made the decision to make the career shift because I can’t imagine how miserable I would be in a newsroom.

What are you doing in order to achieve this? I’m already where I want to be, at least for now. I don’t see it changing any time soon because I’m nowhere near tired of the work yet.

What is the meaning of your life? What is it that you really live for? Erm I don’t really try to define it or have an answer to this right away because I feel like it puts a lot of unwanted pressure on me, by me. As long as I’m satisfied in the present, I shouldn’t be worrying for whom or what my life is ultimately supposed to be.

Have you ever REALLY thought what it means to have children? Yup. Having kids would be the perfect life, but realistically speaking I am not at all ready to start that particular chapter. I don’t make enough money to be able to build a family, and I’ve never even tried changing a diaper yet...then you have to think about weekly formulas, what school to enroll them in, building a nursery...it’s all very hectic and stressful and it’s definitely not a priority as of the moment.

Are you planning to have children anyway? It would be nice, but I still don’t know if it’s in my future.

What is the most awful thing about the world today? I doooooooooon’t understand racism. It’s those videos of white people being caught on tape harassing POCs without a care in the world that get to me the most. It’s horrifying and it’s made me have close to zero plans to travel to the places where the videos usually come from. It’s happened too many times and too many clips have gone viral, that I can’t help but think it would happen to me and my family as well. What do you think is the worst being on the planet? Abusive and/or neglectful parents.

Have you ever been arrested? If so, what for? Nopes.

Have you ever been in court? If so, in which role? Definitely not.

Which do you think is a more valuable being, a human or an animal? I don’t think it’s fair to compare. A life is a life.

What, in your opinion, will cause the end of the world? I’m gonna let science answer this and refer to whatever predictions they have for the future based on their calculations. 

What does your mother do for work? She works in an international hotel chain as an executive secretary, but work is actually kind of slippery for her at the moment because of Covid. There are only certain days in the week where she’s called in to report for work, and there is a chance those requests will stop coming in at a certain point.

^If she's a homemaker, any specific reason for this? She’s not anymore but she did enjoy a brief period of being a homemaker after resigning from her previous workplace back in likeeeee 2013 I’d say? which according to her had increasingly turned into a toxic environment after 20+ years of working there.

What about your father? What does he do? He is an executive sous chef. Cruise ship industry, so his situation is also actually quite bleak. Fortunately the job security with his company is a lot stronger and more guaranteed.

How do you like your coffee? I like it sweet and for its color to be light brown.

If you're of age, what's your favorite alcoholic drink? Tequila shots if we’re going hard. Long Island Iced Tea or Zombie if I’m looking to have a chill session with friends. Red Horse is fine as well, whatever. I hate beer with a passion but I’d drink it if everyone in the table is having a bottle.

If you're under-aged, what is your favorite soft drink? Bold of you to assume all minors like soda hahaha. I don’t, though.

Do you smoke? Yeah, just super seldom though because I don’t want to form a habit. I had the opportunity to last Friday but voluntarily skipped out on it, but that was also because I already had a vape pen on me.

^If so, did you start when you were 18 or were you younger? My first cigarette was when I was 21. Start of 2020.

Did your parents approve of your smoking/alcohol use before you turned 18? They wouldn’t have approved of it at all. And I wouldn’t have let myself either.

Do you have siblings? If not, skip the next few questions. Yeup.

Are you eldest, in the middle or youngest? I’m the eldest of two siblings.

How big an age gap is between you and your siblings? With my sister, 2 years. With my brother, 5 years.

Do/did your siblings cause trouble? Not at all, actually. We were all well-behaved, aka the three of us were always too shy to do anything bad or mischevious. I guess the biggest issues with each of us were - I was very messy with my stuff and ignored all my homework; Nina was a crybaby and would get into tears over literally any inconvenience; and my brother was a violent crybaby, which means he is Nina but always ready to punch you in the face, kick you in the neck or stomach, scream into your ear, etc.

If your siblings are old enough, what do they do for work? My sister is taking up digital filmmaking in an art school; my brother is only in his junior year of high school.

Have you ever been jealous of your siblings? I’m not jealous of her, but Nina is amazing at art and drawing and painting and all that stuff and I always wish I shared even like 1/98th of her skills, hahah.

Do you still live with your parent/s or do you live alone/with a partner? I live with my family, yeah. I’m nowhere near ready to start being on my own.

What do you think about growing up? Like what Paramore said (heheh), has to happen sometimes.

What about having responsibilities? I don’t really think anything of them? They’re kind of expected.

Do you know how to cook? Nope.

^If so, what's your favorite thing to cook? I don’t know how to make anything yet, but some dishes I would love to be able to master are risotto and paella. I’d also love to inherit my grandma’s kare-kare recipe but I’m already 300% sure from this early that I’ll never be able to make it as good as she does.

What about baking? I also can’t bake but some stuff I’d want to learn how to make are cupcakes, macarons, cheesecake, and a chocolate chip cookie recipe so good that my kids would literally bring their friends over to our house just to make them try it.

Do you ever drink tea? Iced tea for the most part. If I do ever drink the traditional hot tea, it’s usually because it’s served either at a hotel I’m staying at, or at an Asian restaurant.

Have you ever followed any of these fad diets that go around? I don’t follow a diet. I’m usually open to trying out foods that are packaged to fall under a certain diet, though – paleo, keto, etc. - just to experience how much different it could possibly taste from the food I typically have.

What do you usually order at your favorite restaurant? I usually get rosu, a type of tonkatsu cut that has a lining of fat on its side. My favorite restaurant then provides unlimited rice, miso soup, and cabbage with my order.

Do you prefer a proper restaurant to a fast food place? Not necessarily. I love a lot of either.

What's your dream vehicle? A Mini Countryman.

What about your dream house? I don’t have an exact image of it yet, but I always said that my dream house, wherever and whatever it might be, must have a room for all the wrestling memorabilia I plan to collect in the future. It’ll be like a ~mancave~  as I also plan to have a couch and a big TV in it so I can watch documentaries and pay-per-views there.

What is the biggest dream of your life? Right now, I would say the ‘biggest’ - since I’ve established it since I was a kid - is to go to the 50th installment of Wrestlemania, which is like the Superbowl of wrestling. This year it’ll be the 37th, so I have 13 years left to plan the dream out and save up and stuff.

If you could travel to another country right now, where would you go? Morocco.

What is a country you'd never ever visit? There isn’t a country I wouldn’t want to visit at least once. I’d probably avoid the ones that have dangerous political situations or are literally at war at the moment, but it doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to step foot in them.

Are you good at taking care of your finances? I’m getting there! I was able to have a good amount of savings this month :) My finances were shit for the first two months of my job because there was immediately soooooooo much to pay for, but I’m glad everything is on track now.

Have you ever had any trouble paying your bills? Well no, because I don’t pay my own yet. I do hand a portion of my allowance to my parents every payday so that I can help out with the family bills, though.

What about your rent? We don’t have rent.

What do you think is the best thing about being an adult? The freedom that comes with it is very empowering. I don’t technically have to ask permission to go out with friends anymore, or be scared of a curfew (but my mom still imposes one, LOL. It’ll mellow it within time though, I’m sure); I make my own money and can spend it however way I want while the rest I can save; I can take a drive or book an entire trip altogether as long as I can afford it...it’s letting me get to know myself even more, in a way that college and my teenage years weren’t able to do.

What about the worst? Being expected to have my shit together when I’m very clueless still about so many things in life. I make fuckups at work at least once a week and I always feel like I’m going to get fired with every mistake, lol.

Is there a person in your life, who wastes their life somehow? Hmm, I don’t think so. I have an uncle who had seemed to be headed nowhere before, but I think he’s slowly getting back on track. I think. At least I don’t hear anything about him anymore.

^If so, how are they wasting their life? Never had a stable job, was a neglectful husband and father (I think he still is), was never able to secure a house and even a car for his family, and deals with his problems by drinking...and worse, drunk-driving, sometimes. It’s an embarrassment and I don’t care if my grandma tells me off for giving him the cold shoulder every family gathering. I’m not gonna get close to someone who negatively affects my mood and my energy.

What is something you need to do, but you keep postponing it? Getting a new pair of glasses. Booking an appointment is a Newly-Unlocked Adult Thing that I’ve never done yet, so I’m nervous and I keep putting it off, hahaha.

Do you think life should just hand things to you? Not at all.

Or should you earn the things you want and need with hard work? Yeah, there you go.

Would you rather live off government benefits or earn your own money? Earn on my own, as much as possible. But some balance would be nice as well so that I can start feeling as if the government is actually helping and serving me.

When you take a survey, do you skip questions? Typically, no. But some of the older ones I’ve seen made by, like, 15 year olds of the time will have nonsense, downright immature, or lowkey racist/homophobic questions that I will have no problem deleting altogether as I think no one here would have any interest in answering them either.

Why, do you think, people write lyrics as the title for a survey? To be creative and catchy, I guess. And it works - I do tend to click on surveys that use lyrics.

If you have a Facebook, what do you use it for? Look for things to share, mainly. I’m fully back on it now after going a way for a bit to do some healing on my own.

If you have a Twitter, what do you use it for? As a space to let out literally all my thoughts and brianfarts. No one cares on Twitter, so it’s the perfect space to make a mess and be a mess.

If you have a Tumblr, what do you use it for? I used to have a wrestling-themed Tumblr (and before that, many more other themed Tumblrs), but when my interest died down I soon switched to using Tumblr for my surveys and being more lowkey altogether on here.

If you have an iPhone, why? I find it easier to use, and I like the interface more. The camera’s features are also more to my liking.

If you have an iPad, why? We have a really old model of it, and we bought that because iPads were all the rage at the time. It had been the newest concept from Apple and most people felt they had to have one, including my family. We definitely don’t feel the need to get another tablet anytime soon since it just functions like a giant phone for the most part.

If you have the latest electronic gadgets, did you pay for them yourself? I’ve never paid for a gadget before.

Do you always put your litter in a trashcan? Of course. I know how to pick up after myself like a respectful human. < Yup.

When you walk/ride your bike/drive your car, are you careful? Yeah, unless I’m mad. Sometimes road rage will take over me tbh, especially if other people on the road have been stupid for quite some time.

What is the rudest thing a person could do or say to you? Something phobic after seeing Jess and I together. < This reminds me of when my ex and I used to get stares or whispers in public. But to be honest, I actually enjoyed those encounters because it only served as fuel for me to get even more affectionate and piss them off more, lol. Good times. 

Anyway, the rudest thing I can think of at the moment is being cut while in line. Some people do it so subtly too, and their shy, careful shuffle to get in front of me is what irritates me the most because THEY KNOW they’re doing something shitty and yet are being so sneaky about it.

Have you ever been that rude to someone else? I have never cut in line, never will.

Do you think your parents are proud of you and what you do with your life? I don’t know. I hope so. I don’t know if they’re expecting me to move out at this point, but I hope they’re at least proud of the fact that their first kid managed to land a job, especially considering we’re living in Covid times.

Which would you rather be, famous or a "nobody"? Why? Can’t I be somewhere in between? When it boils down to it, I’d probably go with being a nobody...I’d miss the socialization and having friends, but at least it means I can get away with more.

Do you need to have the latest fashion in clothes and accessories? It would be nice, but I’m not desperate to have them.

If you have a job, do you get along with your co-workers? Yeah, I’d say so. I definitely have never fought with anyone yet. It’s hard to gauge my relationship with each of them because I entered the workplace while we’re under WFH so I’ve only gotten to talk to most of them through Viber; but so far, so good.

What kind of hobbies do you have? I like traveling and learning, so anything that’s got to do with those - going to museums, visiting ancestral houses, trying local art forms - I would definitely dive into. But if I’m not in a new province or country altogether, I like trying out new food and new restaurants, embroidering, watching my favorite shows, coloring, painting, and reading essays about history. :)

Would anything in the whole world make you give up any of those hobbies? I’m not super attached to painting anymore, so I guess.

Have you had/do you have any pets? I currently have two dogs. In the past we’ve had a cat, a rabbit, two birds, and several goldfish.

Do you even like animals? I love them, except insects.

If you aren't already, would you ever get married? It would be a nice thing to tick off my life event list.

If you are already married, what was the ultimate reason for the marriage? -

As a child, did you do anything really bad? I was raised in a highly violent household with the worst influences as my elders. Yes, I managed to squeeze in some horrible stuff when no one was looking.

^If so, what was it? What were the consequences? I was violent towards my brother but won’t get into it. The only thing I’ll mention is that I used to chase him around with a knife whenever he’d start becoming too much of a headache.

As a teenager, did you do anything really bad? I don’t think so. I was well-traumatized and abused by the time I was a teenager so I was afraid of fucking anything up and being in more trouble.

^If so, what was it? What were the consequences? The worst thing I did was lie about my performance in school, honestly. Which, looking back now, doesn’t even seem like a big deal considering I was only in high school then and grades from there barely matter.

Do you have a problem with authority? Nope. Well, a good number of my teachers didn’t seem to like me for some reason. I’d say it’s their problem though since I never did anything to raise hell in school, ever.

What's your favorite comic strip? I don’t have one.

Is there a piece of clothing you absolutely must wear every day Underwear... < Yep.

Has a doctor ever told you to lose weight? No. I’ve always been on the lighter side so that has never been a comment given to me by anyone.

Have you ever been diagnosed with a lifelong disease? Isn’t scoliosis a lifelong thing? If it is, then yes I have been.

What is something you absolutely hate? Fruits.

What about something you absolutely love? Seafood! Which is why I have spicy tuna salad and dynamite rolls with me at the moment :)

[mutsu-province]

Wager

Title: Wager Fandom: Samurai Love Ballad: Party/Tenka Touitsu Koi no Ran: Love Ballad Pairing: Date Masamune x MC Rating: PG-13 Era: Modern Day Word Count (MS Word): 3,959

----------

才子佳人　（さいしかじん） [saishikajin]

(n) well-matched pair 

----------

"You should totally meet my cousin."

Anyone who heard such a statement would have been puzzled as to why one had to mention one’s relative who was not present at that very moment, but given that her situation had been rather odd as well, she should not have been surprised.

It was stupid, really, on how it all began.

After living in the Ancient Capital her whole life, the moment the opportunity presented itself for her to be able to study in the East Capital, she seized it and never looked back. Sure, she got a bit homesick at times, but more importantly, she had her freedom.

It was not known to all that she was from an old samurai clan, and a conservative one at that.

Which meant that everything she did was scrutinized, from the way she dressed to where she studied. As such, she went to one of the few 'Super Science High Schools' in the country from elementary until high school, and her family, albeit reluctantly to allow her to pursue higher education, expected her to go to the equally elite Kyoto University, if only to keep an eye on her.

Instead, she opted to enroll at the University of Tokyo, specifically, to a course that she had been interested in ever since she could read a book: the Liberal Arts, with her specialization being Japanese history. Ironic, as she had been subjected to math and science most of her life, only for her to pursue a degree in the arts.

Not that her family had been against it, but they were rather disappointed that she was going to university when she could have simply gone through a marriage meeting in order to get married soon after her high school graduation.

The last thing she wanted was to become a pawn to her family, which was why she opted to be as physically distant from them as she could possibly achieve. It was by pure luck that she managed to get a scholarship for the famed TouDai, and with her situated in Tokyo, that meant less meddling.

Sure, it made year-end family gatherings a little bit awkward, but it was on them, not her. She had no desire to follow their wishes; she did so once, just to please them, but it made her miserable in the end.

Never again would she allow herself to be manipulated.

Pushing aside any thought of her estranged family, she asked, "... Excuse me?"

The other person grinned before chuckling. "Oh, sorry about that. Just that… you remind me of my cousin. He's pretty knowledgeable about history too, and would probably appreciate seeing the famed Red Gate with his own eyes."

"I… see." she decided not to tell the stranger that the ancestors of her childhood friend had a connection to this Red Gate [1], lest it invited more talk. It wasn’t everyday that some stranger came up to you to discuss about Japanese history, and no matter how much she wanted to stop and chat, it simply wasn’t done upon the first encounter. "Well then, if you'll excuse me…"

"Sorry for the sudden outburst though." The man scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "You a junior?"

She nodded tentatively, which made the man grin. "Nice, I'm a junior too. Komaba Campus, yeah? Guess I'll see you around."

She found herself nodding again before turning away, heading back to the station.

"Itou Narumi!"

She stopped in her tracks and looked back at the man, who was now grinning widely at her. “I’m Itou Narumi.” he repeated. “Nice to meet you.”

Despite her hesitation, she found herself smiling a bit. "Tamura Aki. Nice to meet you."

----------

While their initial meeting had been rather unusual, she quickly became friends with Narumi. It turned out that happy-go-lucky man was such a people-person that he had made friends with everyone in their year in no time, though curiously, he somehow chose to spend most of his time with her whenever possible. Of course, that brought about rumors regarding their relationship being more than friends, but he had been quick to tell her that she was, in his opinion, better off with his cousin.

As to who that cousin was, she had no clue, other than said cousin did not reside in Tokyo, and was a year older than both of them. When she pressed her classmate for more details about this cousin of his, all he did was smirk.

“In due time, my friend. In due time.” the words sounded ominous, but to her, it was simply typical of master showman Itou Narumi to keep people in suspense.

Which was why she was now in a Shinkansen bound for Sendai in Miyagi Prefecture as soon as her summer break started; her original plan was to attend the Sendai Tanabata, held yearly during the 6th until the 8th of August, but somehow, somehow, Narumi had managed to convince her to make changes to her plan and, instead, head over to Sendai a few days before the start of the festival. She protested over the lack of funds; the cost of a Shinkansen ticket was no joke, nor were the hotel prices. A yearly event like Sendai Tanabata surely meant that the cost of the lodging would skyrocket, but her friend told her that she did not have to worry too much about her lodging. Rather, she could stay over at his family’s place in Sendai, which she had declined initially until he pestered her to simply accept her blessings. In the end, she reluctantly accepted the offer, though making a mental note to simply go back to Tokyo just in case the arrangements did not fall through and took a turn for the worst.

“Oh, and if you didn’t know, the place’s actually very near Zuihoden; you can be there as soon as it opens at 9.”

And that was how she fell for the scheme, hook, line, and sinker.

While most of the people she knew had known about her interest in history, what they were not aware of was that she was one of them, namely, a rekijo.

Calling her a ‘female history buff’ was still too kind; rather, she was obsessed with simply one man who made his mark in history.

While she did not go to the extremes of living, speaking, and breathing anything related to pre-Edo period, the way she was obsessed with learning and reading about her favorite warlord was another story. Every new book and magazine that featured him, without fail, she would buy it and read it, even if the information on said book had been something that she already knew. After all, she knew she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she overlooked anything related to him.

As to who her favorite warrior was, it was the One-Eyed Dragon of the North, Date Mutsu no Kami Masamune, the man who founded the city she was to visit.

Upon admitting this tidbit to her new friend and explaining why she was going to all three days of Sendai Tanabata, a smile that she could only describe as ‘scheming’ made its way to Narumi’s face before saying, “... I see. Well then, your Sendai trip should be interesting, yeah? Why not stay longer? I’m sure my cousin wouldn’t mind entertaining you.”

If it was only possible to cancel the trip, but the history buff in her was screaming at her not to, and to even take this as an opportunity to have the best Tanabata experience possible. She was never one to join festivals, especially since it was always humid in the summer. Besides that, she always had a part-time job lined up for a few weeks during summer vacation as she had bills to pay and money to save up. It took her two long years to save up for this trip, and she would rather not let the moment pass her by.

… That, and it would be totally embarrassing if she cancelled out on her friend, who had actually managed to convince his cousin to tour them around Sendai and the spots around the prefecture. Narumi, it turned out, had gotten the same cousin to agree to house her for the duration of her stay, and for free. When she asked why she had to stay at a total stranger’s place instead of his family home, it was then he told her that while he had been born in Miyagi Prefecture, he and his family moved to Hokkaido and settled at Date City. [2]

To her own embarrassment and shame, she then couldn’t help but quiz him about the city he grew up in, as it was related to the Date clan. Thankfully, her friend was more than happy to tell her about the history of the place.

“Honestly, you’re the only one I know who actually wanted to hear about where I grew up. Mention ‘Hokkaido’, and everyone just assumes that you’re from Sapporo.”

She shrugged. “I’ve read about Date City and didn’t want to assume, so I thought it would be better to ask you directly instead of making my own conclusions.”

He nodded solemnly. “You’re awesome as always, Acchan!”

While, at first, she was not very fond of the nickname, she realized that Narumi-kun didn’t call her by that to make fun of her. Growing up, a majority of people made fun of her and her name, mockingly calling her ‘Megohime’ whenever she starts blabbering about Sengoku Period history related to her favorite warlord or when they find out the characters to her name.

“No wonder you’re so fond of that warlord; you’ve even named yourself after his wife! Just how obsessed are you, really?” [3]

For the most part, people assumed that her name was her alias when, in fact, it was her real name. Narumi, to her own surprise, asked her how her name was read, even after seeing the way she wrote it.

Now that she thought about it, Narumi was truly a nice guy; at first, it seemed really suspicious as to why he would go out of his way to be so nice to her, even if they became friends recently. 

Then again, he's always been like that to everyone.

Quickly relieving herself of distracting thoughts, she began to reread the list of places she would like to visit while she was in Tohoku. Now was her chance to truly visit the place she had always dreamed of; the very region her favorite warlord had ruled… just thinking about it was enough to make her want to scream in happiness.

She reached her destination a little before noon, and immediately after exiting the Shinkansen, the university student took a photo of the sign that indicated the station name, trying her best not to either burst into tears or simply scream.

She still could hardly believe the fact that she was finally here.

In Sendai.

“Don’t you start breaking down on me here.”

She hardly had any time to gasp as soon as she realized that Itou Narumi was now walking towards her, and had went out of his way to pay the platform ticket [4] just to see her.

“Why are you even here?!” she could barely keep her surprise down.

“Been messaging you for ten minutes. Guess you were too giddy to reply back? We’re not even at the castle ruins yet!” upon hearing his teasing, her face flamed, knowing that he spoke the truth.

Unable to counter what he had said, she proceeded to hit him on the arm, prompting him to yelp in surprise and in shock.

“... Come on, let’s just go okay. I bet your cousin’s waiting for us.” with that, she began walking towards the exit, eager to begin her exploration of the region.

With her back turned, she missed the calculating smirk on her friend’s face.

“Yes, he’s so looking forward to meeting you.”

----------

If only publicly throttling and assaulting his cousin wasn’t a crime, he would have done so as soon as Shigezane made it out of the ticket gates.

Despite being younger by a year old, his now soon-to-be disowned cousin was such a sleaze that he could not believe he got outsmarted by this… this… schemer.

Date Masamune being uncomfortable with women was the biggest understatement of the year within his family, and the fact that there was a woman trailing behind Shigezane was the biggest indicator that this happened to be the very person he had to take care of during her entire stay in Sendai.

Inwardly, he cringed, irritated at the fact that he assumed that the ‘buddy’ Shigezane mentioned over at LINE was male. While he wanted to blame the other man for the situation he was currently in, Masamune knew that the burden fell to him to confirm all the details. He had been so busy lately that it was highly likely that he overlooked the messages. That, or Shigezane seemed to have been intentionally been vague and rather pushy that he had no other choice but to agree just to get him to stop spamming their LINE chat.

Typical of Shigezane to use his so-called “persuasion skills” to force the other person to simply give in.

Resisting the urge to roll both of his eyes, he sized up the person who was to be his house guest for the next few days.

Surprisingly, up close, she was a rather small thing, the top of her head barely reaching his cousin’s chin. While he was no fashion expert, even from his good left eye, he noticed that her hairstyle reminded him of how women from the Heian Period, who kept it very long, but the hair on the sides of her cheeks were cut short.

… Not that she had a face similar to the Heian Period women depicted on those scrolls.

She looked… well, she was definitely a looker in that blue-green summer dress and short-sleeved cardigan, if he had to admit it. With eyes the color of ruby and her burgundy locks cascading just above the middle of her back, Shigezane’s… whoever she was, she was guaranteed to catch a man’s attention, himself included, even though he was no good in dealing with her kind.

She had seemed rather soft-spoken when she bowed at Kojuro after Shigezane did the introductions. To his surprise, she seemed to refer to his cousin by a different name, one that he couldn't quite catch.

Before he could ponder on it further, Shigezane interrupted his thoughts.

“Masa! Sorry for the wait! My buddy’s here now!” it was hard to miss the cheeky grin on his cousin’s face. “She spent her time on the platform taking photos of the ‘Sendai Station’ signboard like a tourist!”

He also did not miss the glare she aimed at her cousin, who was either oblivious or was simply ignoring her anger.

Inwardly, he shook his head and sighed, knowing that since he had to honor his promise, he might as well steel himself for the upcoming chaos.

“I’m Masamune.” he said, bowing at the girl.

Curiously, her face lit up. “ ‘Masamune’? Is your name written the same way as — ”

For some reason, he felt annoyed upon hearing where her query was going. While he was aware that there were many ways to write the name, still, hearing it from her was enough to stir something in him other than indifference.

“Yes, I write my name the same way as the Date Masamune.” [5] he said curtly, not wanting to explain further.

Like his more famous ancestor before him, he was named thus, which he thought was not a bad thing… though it got annoying when even his right eye had somehow tried to imitate the first lord of the Sendai Domain. While the issue with his eye was not due to smallpox, he felt uncomfortable about it, which was why he chose to cover his affected eye with part of his hair and, at times, a medical eyepatch.

To his surprise, a smile made its way to her face. “That is such a cool name. Nice to meet you, I’m Aki.”

He ignored the way his chest warmed upon seeing her smile. “Let’s head out before we run out of parking space at the museum.” Masamune found himself saying before turning around to head for the parking lot.

“Museum? Seriously? Her first time in Sendai, and you’re thinking of bringing her to the museum?” came Shigezane’s unfiltered commentary. “That’s boring and you know it!”

“Got any better ideas?” Kojuro asked curtly, sounding rather exasperated that the carefully planned schedule was being challenged by the very person who asked for a favor.

“I don’t mind going to the museum.” Aki said, seemingly sensing the tension in the air. “I think it’d be great to learn more about Sendai! I mean, we are off to Sendai City Museum [6], right?”

“We are.” Kojuro confirmed. “I trust that you don’t object to that, Tamura-san?”

“Of course not.” he heard her say in affirmation. “I’d love to see the history of this city! Anything goes, really!”

Despite his misgivings about this woman, he found himself admiring her, if only just a little. They’ve only met, after all, and who knows what kind of woman she really was underneath all the politeness. His own mother had been loving and kind until she found out about the condition of his right eye; despite modern-day explanations that there was nothing wrong with it, she clung to old-fashioned beliefs that he had been cursed by their ancestors.

… Now’s not the time to think about that.

He needed a change of pace and a change of scenery; he was on his final year in the university, and had been pushing himself too hard. Upon the advice of Kojuro, he decided to actively join the festivities for this year’s Tanabata. As heir of the Date clan, he had been tasked by his father to tour a group of tourists from overseas around Zuihoden, his famous namesake’s mausoleum complex [7]; while he was uncomfortable with public speaking, he knew he had to overcome this. Someday, he would be giving out lectures about his family to the general public, and the sooner he became more comfortable with his clan duties, the better.

“Are you all done talking? Let’s get moving.” upon looking back to see if everyone was following suit, he noticed that she was carrying her backpack and pulling along her rather large-sized suitcase. Upon seeing the sight, he found himself frowning.

Walking over to her, he said, “Give me that.”

“I’m fine—” just when she was about to protest, he cut her off and grabbed the trolley handle of her suitcase. “Uhhh…”

“Forgive my cousin for forgetting that he is supposed to be a gentleman and should be carrying your stuff for you.” Masamune then directed a glare at his cousin, who at least looked a bit less smug after getting called out for his mistake. “Your backpack, if you don’t mind.”

“I’m good.” she said, shaking her head. “I can carry this at least.”

“Very well. Let’s stop wasting time here.” pulling her roller suitcase behind him, he began to head for the rooftop parking.

----------

Shigezane found himself smirking as soon as his cousin’s back was turned. Beside him, Kojuro was frozen on the spot, unable to process what he had just seen.

Not that he could blame him; Katakura Kojuro served as Masamune’s guardian and mentor since childhood, and knew very well that Masamune could not abide women. And yet, the heir to their clan had been cordial, polite even, and to a woman he had only met for the first time. There was still some awkwardness to the way Masa conducted himself towards Acchan, but that was a start at least.

“... Is this what you meant when you said you’d be going home for the summer holidays?” Kojuro asked in a soft voice as both of them followed the two from a distance. “I was surprised to hear that you wanted to visit Sendai in summer, when we all know that you’d rather go back to Hokkaido and escape the summer heat in Tokyo.”

Instead of denying it, Shigezane figured that he might as well spill the beans to the older man. After all, his plan of setting up his cousin and his new friend wouldn’t go as planned if Kojuro kept trailing after Masamune like a mother hen.

“You’d never believe me on this, but Tamura Aki is the perfect girl for Masa!”

As expected, Kojuro sighed in exasperation. “... Are you serious?”

It was his turn to sigh in exasperation. “Why wouldn’t I be serious about this?”

“You manipulated her into going here just to meet Masamune-sama?!” Kojuro asked, irritation evident in his voice. “That is low, even for you.”

It was his turn to get angry at the accusation. “Excuse me, but Acchan wanted to attend the Sendai Tanabata; all I did was steer her to Masa’s direction. Wouldn’t it be great if they get along?!”

“This is highly inappropriate—”

“Oh please, Kojuro, we both know that deep within your heart, you want him settled with a good woman and take care of his babies in the future like a doting grandma.” for the second time that day, he ignored the glare aimed at him, though he grinned widely at the embarrassed flush that made its way to the man’s cheeks. “Just your luck, she’s perfect for him.”

When even his childhood guardian did not look convinced, he added, “She doesn’t know anything about the clan, nor our families.”

“You both are from TouDai, are you not? How does she not know?”

“I never told her; I go by ‘Itou Narumi’ [8] in school, and she doesn’t suspect that we’re related to the Date clan of the old Sendai Domain.”

At this, Kojuro simply shook his head, as if to give up trying to process whatever it was that he was saying; which meant that, for now, it was his victory.

“So please, could you not get in their way, at least, until she and I leave for Tokyo?”

Shigezane knew that Kojuro was torn; it was a gamble, as it was not known at this point if his ward and a strange woman would actually get along. Not to mention, the possibility of her being a gold digger and hurting Masamune was something that the member of the Katakura clan was mulling upon.

Shigezane directed a prayer to his ancestors to, for once, enlighten the old man and allow him to let go of his overprotectiveness towards Masamune, albeit temporarily.

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that Masamune wasn’t as fragile as he thought he was, until Kojuro beat him to it.

“... I will humor you just this once, and will allow your friend to be close to Masamune-sama during her stay here. However, one suspicious move from her, and I send her back to Tokyo, along with you.” Kojuro leveled his gaze at him, and for once, Date Shigezane felt as if he was a toddler again, as the look in the older man’s eyes felt eerily similar to his childhood days whenever he was scolded for getting into trouble.

Still, if the gamble paid off…

“Don’t you worry, old man, you’ll like her.” ignoring the eye twitch in the other man’s eye upon hearing the word ‘old man’, Shigezane grinned. “In no time at all, Masa’s gonna fall in love with her, and you’ll have babies to take care of!”

“... You’d better be right about this, or I’ll never forgive myself.”

----------

Notes:

[1] Red Gate - called the 'Akamon'. Tokyo University's main Hongo campus used to be the residence of the Maeda clan in Edo (Tokyo).

[2] Date City - located in Hokkaido. Members of the Date-Watari clan (Shigezane's descendants) moved to Hokkaido during the Meiji period. There is a museum in Date city that displays Date Shigezane's armor.

[3] “No wonder you’re so fond of that warlord; you’ve even named yourself after his wife! Just how obsessed are you, really?” - Date Masamune’s legal wife’s name is Megohime (愛姫).

[4] Platform ticket - when you want to see someone off at the train station and want to go past the ticket gates, you'll need a platform ticket to go in.

[5] Date Masamune’s name - It’s written as 政宗. There are actually eleven ways to write the name ‘Masamune’ in different kanji.

[6] Sendai City Museum - as the name implies, it's a museum within the city of Sendai that tells the history of the city. At times, the museum displays rare items related to Date Masamune or to the Date clan.

[7] Zuihoden - mausoleum complex where Date Masamune is buried.

[8] Itou Narumi - Date Shigezane’s name (伊達成実) can also be read as such, as shown in the game’s event story.

----------

Welp, I started writing for Date Masamune too.

First fanfic for him, and I was bold enough to even try a modern-day AU setting; I guess this is what happens when you keep on visiting Sendai and doing fanfic research while you’re there...? I love Sendai a lot though, which is why I keep coming back whenever I get a chance to do so.

I’ve set Masamune’s MC’s name to be Tamura Aki (田村 愛姫), with the kanji for her first name being similar to Megohime’s, though only read differently. I chose the family name ‘Tamura’, as Tamura was the clan that Megohime belonged to before marrying Date Masamune.

Hope you all enjoyed the first chapter!

[ettadunham]

A Buffy rewatch 6x04 Flooded

aka doubling down and not paying rent

Welcome to this dailyish text post series where I will rewatch an episode of Buffy and go on an impromptu rant about it for an hour. Is it about one hyperspecific thing or twenty observations? 10 or 3k words? You don’t know! I don’t know!!! In this house we don’t know things.

And today’s lukewarm take is that Willow and Tara should be paying rent, and Anya has a point. About everything.

(Okay, so I think that the Save draft button is actually broken on this website? Luckily I only got into a few paragraphs this time around, but I can’t believe that I’ll need to write out these posts in Word now. What’s next? Spellchecking? Proofreading? Planning and thought? Give me a break.)

Flooded among many other things is the first appearance of the Trio, our supposed Big Bad of the season, and… can I just say… I hate them so fucking much. Like, they truly and honestly make my skin crawl.

Of course, Warren is the worst of them, as we see even now, but they all joke about rape at least three times in this episode alone? And I’m calling those “jokes”, because the show is playing it for a comedic effect, as part of their ridiculous supervillain fantasy, which only makes it all worse.

On the other hand, I also kind of appreciate that these guys are our villains. Villains, who we will actually see put these words to action later on, and it’ll be sufficiently horrifying and repulsing. Which would be especially effective for an audience member who laughed at those earlier scenes before.

Now, while I feel like in today’s society, most of us don’t need that reminder, as we already know all too well what these groups of entitled young men insecure in their own masculinity are capable of, and how easy it is to radicalize them… I can see the argument that this might still come as a shocking revelation to some and a chance at self-evaluation. For me though, seeing the Trio’s plans of hypnotizing Buffy and making her their “sex bunny” played as some ridiculous gag is almost worse than their attempted rape and ensuing murder of Katrina in Dead Things.

Almost.

Speaking of Big Bads, villains and uncomfortable rape analogies… Willow is really out there, waving a red flag in Giles’ face now, huh. Giles blows off at her, sure. (And with good reason if we’re being honest.) But Willow threatens him. Giles’ face is a mix of a lot of things, but one of them is caution, and maybe even a bit of fear. He knows all too well where Willow could be headed.

(And then he just fucks right off to England without even leaving a note like “PS: Keep an eye on Willow, and don’t let her murder anyone. Unless it’s Warren. That bloke had it coming.”)

It’s not all bad though. Willow tries to support Buffy after her failed loan, and makes some terrible attempts to piss her off, just to make her feel something. Except that part of Willow’s concern for Buffy also comes from her unexamined guilt, and it only puts more pressure on Buffy to try and pretend that she’s fine in front of her friends.

Buffy is exhausted, and she tells Spike as much. She also asks why he’s always there when she’s miserable, which… girl… that’s called stalking. That’s why he’s always there when you’re alone and miserable. He’s been stalking you for a season now, and hasn’t even been subtle about it.

But for better or worse, it’s what Buffy needs right now. Not the stalking, but someone who she doesn’t feel any pressure with to pretend like she’s okay. Like she’s the old Buffy from before.

Previously with After Life, Buffy was asking for Giles and talked about missing him. Then, I commented that she might be thinking of him as someone that she could confide in. I think that that may still hold up, although it appears that once Giles is actually there, Buffy quickly assumes the same pretend position with him as the rest of the gang.

(Plus she already relieved that burden off her chest with Spike.)

It’s hard to explain Buffy’s logic here, because it’s something that I feel with her, rather than have the words to describe it. Part of it is surely that Buffy wants to protect her friends from the truth, but it’s also part of a larger narrative that she surrounded herself with. She also knows that she’s not the same, and that her friends noticed it. But if she doesn’t talk to them about it, that leaves her space to ignore it, ignore her trauma, her detachment, just as she’s trying to ignore her financial issues.

It’s classic self-sabotage and depression. At that stage where you don’t even want to admit that you have depression, because that implies that something’s wrong with you. And we are just not going to deal with that. Quick, let’s self-depreciate and make a joke about burning down the house for insurance.

Of course those financial issues would be better if someone paid rent for living there for potentially over 4 months now. Or at the very least had a discussion with Buffy about whether or not they should still live there.

Yes, we circled back to Willow again, but also Tara. This is certainly not a new hot take, but it is sort of baffling that these two don’t seem to contribute anything to Buffy’s financial situation despite living in her damn house. I get that most of Joyce’s insurance money just about covered the medical bills, but they also comment about the cost of living and… Those costs should have been covered by the adults living in the house, not by a finite and apparently very little amount of money Joyce left her daughters??

You definitely get the idea that the gang, and specifically Willow and Tara in this case, had absolutely no plans whatsoever beyond bringing Buffy back. They apparently expected Buffy to magically solve those finance issues when she was brought back, instead of… you know… thinking ahead about the teenager in the house, whose well-being they moved in for, I assume.

I initially was also just somewhat confused by the fact that they thought that pretending that Buffy was still alive was better than sending Dawn to live with her dad… But this rewatch reminded me that Hank Summers absolutely can’t be trusted to actually take in his own daughter, and Buffy even says so in an episode in season 5. They actually worry about how Dawn might be put into foster care if Buffy’s deemed unreliable as a guardian.

So, alright, I get it, they hoped that they could bring Buffy back anyway, but I can’t believe that apparently they didn’t even pay the bills out of their own pockets? They’re college students, sure, and that Tara obviously won’t get support from her family… But maybe, you know, take on a part-time job? And what about Willow’s family? Weird as a relationship she has with her parents, it’s still a relationship, so she could probably explain that she needs money to pay rent.

It’s just baffling. Even more so the fact that none of this is ever addressed, and Buffy keeps making increasingly sarcastic remarks about how everyone’s living in her house. Which points to her, Willow and Tara never having a discussion about whether or not they should move out or stay, now that she’s back.

On the other hand, there’s Dawn, and having three adults parenting her is probably better for now. Especially when she wants to do the research with them. Tara’s face is entirely too smug when Dawn opens a book despite her mom efforts, and is immediately greeted with some weird demon horn penis shit, or whatever.

(Which also reminds me of a s7 scene, where Dawn is having a slow epiphany of what Willow’s TMI involving tongue piercings imply, and Buffy’s like “Dawn needs to do a research thing!” How the turntables.)

Arguably the most reasonable person in this whole bunch is Anya though. When she proposes that Buffy should be charging for saving lives, everyone boos her. But you know what, that’s just a load of crap. And not just because that’s the entire premise of Angel the series.

Maybe there’s an idea here about how altruism can’t be done for profit, but if that’s the intention, then I’m once again calling bullshit. Apparently you either have a 9 to 5 job in order to pay the bills, and have food to eat – after which you’re happy to watch one (1) episode of television and write a nonsense text post about it, and definitely not go out to save the world if you also want to sleep. OR you can do the whole saving the world thing but also starve and lose your house to debt, I guess.

(The Spider-man comparison is also just weak, man. Peter Parker is a high school student for most of his stories. He has an aunt to take care of his finances, just like Buffy didn’t have to worry about finances in high school either.)

This also comes right back to the whole idea of how the Watcher’s Council is paying Watchers but not Slayers. Like, you know what, Giles. You could actually take care of this.

After all, you’re the one getting paid for Buffy’s work.

Oh, and bless Anya too for calling out Xander’s stalling and bullshit about their engagement. She’s right and she should say it.

[dipulb3]

Tammy Duckworth, now in VP spotlight, won't say if Biden should select a Black running mate

New Post has been published on https://appradab.com/tammy-duckworth-now-in-vp-spotlight-wont-say-if-biden-should-select-a-black-running-mate/

Tammy Duckworth, now in VP spotlight, won't say if Biden should select a Black running mate

But that is changing as Biden and his campaign move closer to a decision that is expected to come early next month.

Biden’s announcement that he would pick a woman in March was largely greeted with cheers, but the terms of an intra-party debate over representation at the top of the ticket have sharpened over the past few months. The question now — one that has been amplified by more than a month of anti-racist protests around the country — is whether Biden should narrow his slate to women of color — and, more specifically, Black women.

On Sunday, Duckworth, who is Thai-American, passed when asked by Appradab’s Dana Bash whether Biden should pick a Black woman for the position.

“The Biden campaign have their own process that they’re going through. And I’m sure Vice President Biden will pick the right person to be next to him as he digs this country out of the mess that Donald Trump has put us in,” Duckworth said.

Pressed for a more direct answer, Duckworth didn’t budge, saying that Biden “knows best” what he needs from a running mate that it was not on “any of us to dictate to him.”

The Biden campaign declined to comment.

Her potential candidacy comes as a number of prominent Black leaders have publicly suggested that he pick a Black running mate and Sen. Kamala Harris, former Obama White House national security adviser Susan Rice, Atlanta Mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms and 2018 Georgia Democratic gubernatorial nominee Stacey Abrams, have been among those reported to be in the running.

In late April, Harris, widely viewed as the frontrunner at this stage, said in an interview she believed it “is important to have a woman of color, or a woman,” on the ticket — but declined to go any further.

“I’m not gonna tell Joe Biden what to do,” Harris said. “I want him to pick the running mate that that is best equipped to help him win because more than anything Joe Biden has got to win, we cannot suffer another four years of Donald Trump in the White House.”

Jill Biden has appeared with at least four women currently thought to be in the running to join the former vice president on the Democratic ticket, including Duckworth, in virtual campaign events and fundraisers over the past few months. Last week at a virtual fundraiser, Jill Biden highlighted Duckworth’s military service and said the senator inspires people across the nation.

“Tammy, it’s been such a pleasure getting to know you over the years, especially in our work on Joining Forces,” Jill Biden said.

“And you have served our nation in so many ways, in the Army, at Veterans Affairs and on Capitol Hill. And as a veteran, a disability advocate and a woman of color, and the first woman to have a child while serving in the Senate, you inspire so many people across this country, and we are honored to have your support.”

From Iraq veteran to lawmaker

Born in Bangkok, Thailand, to a Thai mother and American father, Duckworth grew up in Southeast Asia. Her father was a US Army veteran who came to the region to fight in Vietnam and then stayed to work assisting refugees. Duckworth’s family eventually moved to Hawaii when she was in high school, and Duckworth said her family relied on food stamps growing up.

“Growing up, my family relied on food stamps — now called SNAP — to survive. Glad to join my colleagues&call on @USDA to ensure SNAP recipients can receive grocery deliveries&curbside pickup during the #COVID19 crisis. No one should struggle to get food right now b/c they rely on it,” Duckworth tweeted in May.

She graduated from the University of Hawaii in 1989 with a Bachelor of Arts in political science and later received a Master of Arts in international affairs from George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs. Duckworth completed a PhD in Human Services at Capella University in March 2015.

In 2004, Duckworth was deployed to Iraq as a Blackhawk helicopter pilot for the Illinois Army National Guard. In November of that year, Duckworth’s helicopter was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade and she lost both of her legs and partial use of her right arm. Duckworth was awarded the Purple Heart that year, and served in the Reserve Forces for 23 years.

After running for Congress unsuccessfully in 2006, Duckworth was appointed by then-Gov. Rod Blagojevich to head the Illinois Department of Veterans’ Affairs. She served in the position for three years, and then in 2009, then-President Barack Obama appointed Duckworth as the assistant secretary of the US Department of Veterans Affairs.

Duckworth was elected to Congress in 2012, defeating then-Rep. Joe Walsh, a Tea Party Republican and conservative talk radio host. She served two terms representing Illinois’s 8th Congressional District before being elected in 2016, handily unseating Republican incumbent Mark Kirk.

In April 2018, Duckworth became the first US senator to give birth while in office. Later that month, she also became the first lawmaker to cast a vote on the Senate floor with her baby by her side. Duckworth spearheaded a successful push to change longstanding rules to allow newborns for the first time onto the Senate floor during votes.

She has been a fierce critic of President Donald Trump. On Sunday, Duckworth condemned Trump’s divisive message at Mount Rushmore over the weekend, saying his “priorities are all wrong” and adding that he has failed in his response to the coronavirus pandemic.

“What really struck me about the speech that the President gave at Mount Rushmore was that he spent more time worried about honoring dead Confederates than he did talking about the lives of the 130,000 Americans who lost their lives to Covid-19 or by warning Russia off of the bounty they’re putting on American’s heads,” Duckworth told Appradab’s Dana Bash on “State of the Union.” “I mean his priorities are all wrong here. He should be talking about what we’re going to do to overcome this pandemic. What are we going to do to push Russia back? And instead he had no time for that.”

In November 2018, Duckworth told Appradab the President has “failed miserably” in supporting US troops and their families. She called Trump a “coward” and said he “used his privilege” to repeatedly defer military service.

Duckworth has been critical of the war she fought. In a Politico op-ed, she called out federal leaders for glossing over the cost — in blood and money — of ongoing conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“Our efforts in Iraq cost our economy more than a trillion dollars, and we will be caring for our Iraq and Afghanistan veterans for at least the next 50 years. The next time we go to war, we should truly understand the sacrifices that our service members and the American people will have to make,” she wrote. “Which is why, when my colleagues start beating the drums of war, I want to be there, standing on my artificial legs under the great Capitol dome, to remind them what the true costs of war are.”

Duckworth is a founding co-chair of the Environmental Justice Caucus, and serves on the Senate Democrats’ Special Committee on the Climate Crisis, Armed Services Committee, Committee on Environment & Public Works, Committee on Commerce, Science & Transportation, and Committee on Small Business & Entrepreneurship.

In early May, Duckworth called for a fix to be made to the CARES Act, the coronavirus stimulus package that was passed in March, to provide immediate help to families with newborn babies. The senator also recently sponsored a bill to prohibit the Secretary of Veterans Affairs from charging veterans copayments for preventive services relating to Covid-19.

Biden’s VP considerations

The pressure on Biden to make history with his choice — there have been two women vice presidential candidates, both White — has occasionally thrust others in the field, like Sen. Elizabeth Warren, into politically sticky conversations.

In June, Warren was asked by WCVB in Boston if she believed that Biden should select a woman of color. Not wanting to rule herself out, the Massachusetts senator was noncommittal, saying it was Biden’s decision to make.

“Every woman being considered is extremely qualified and would be an asset for the vice president both in his campaign for the presidency and in the White House,” Warren told WCVB. “Whoever he chooses, I am 100% committed to doing what it takes to electing Joe Biden and helping elect Democrats up and down the ballot. I am all in.”

Abrams, who has been uniquely forthright in touting her qualifications for the post, has given the most direct answer to the question over race. During an appearance on “The View” in April, co-host Sunny Hostin, who is Black and Puerto Rican, who asked if Abrams would consider it “a slap in the face to the Black female voters who are credited, really, for reviving his candidacy” if Biden didn’t choose a Black woman for the ticket.

“I would share your concern about not picking a woman of color, because women of color — particularly Black women — are the strongest part of the Democratic Party, the most loyal, but that loyalty isn’t simply how we vote,” Abrams said. “It’s how we work, and if we want to signal that that work will continue, that we’re going to reach not just to certain segments of our community, but to the entire country, then we need a ticket that reflects the diversity of America.”

Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, as she announced her exit from consideration for the slot, was less circumspect. She called on the former vice president to select a woman of color.

“I truly believe, as I actually told the vice president last night when I called him, that I think this is a moment to put a woman of color on that ticket,” Klobuchar said in an interview on MSNBC. “And there is so many incredibly qualified women.”

Klobuchar’s statement was widely read as less prescriptive than further evidence of where the Biden campaign was already headed.

Appradab’s Eric Bradner contributed to this report.

[jobsearchtips02]

Should I quit my job in a recession? Experts share their best advice

The US economy appears to be entering a recession.

Some career experts caution against leaving your job during an economic downturn, especially if you don’t have a substantial safety net.

If you’re miserable at work but worried about the implications of quitting, there are other ways to alleviate the daily stress.

You can start tapping your professional network and researching new opportunities now. You might also ask your manager about shifting to a part-time schedule, so you can spend more time job-searching.

Click here for more BI Prime content.

Until a few months ago, it was a job-seeker’s market in the US. If you didn’t love your current employer, there was a really good chance that you could find another company that would treat you better.

Times have changed.

The new coronavirus pandemic has plunged the global economy into the beginnings of a major recession. In the week ending March 20, the Labor Department reported, 3.3 million Americans filed unemployment claims. Record-breaking is an understatement: The previous high was nearly 700,000 in 1982.

Which means that folks who are less than satisfied with their jobs should think very seriously before giving their two weeks’ notice. In the current economy, there’s no guarantee they’ll find anything better — or that they’ll find any employment at all.

This is the nature of a tough economy:  “More often than not,” said workplace strategist Erica Keswin, “I strongly believe in sucking it up and staying put.” Keswin was an executive coach at New York University’s Stern School of Business during the 2008 recession, where she counseled dozens of alumni who’d been laid off.

If you’re unhappy at work but understandably worried that it’s an inopportune time to quit, there are ways to make things less miserable — and to start laying the groundwork for your next move.

The decision to quit your job during a recession depends heavily on your financial circumstances and your family dynamic

Most employees stay in their jobs during economic downturns. Data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that the US quit rate bottomed out in August 2009, with about 1.6 million workers leaving their jobs that month. In January 2020, when the economy was stronger, that number was roughly 3.5 million.

The quit rate plummeted during the Great Recession.

Andy Kiersz/Business Insider

People’s fears about not being able to find another job are generally grounded in reality. “It’s much easier to get a job when you have a job,” Keswin said. Even if you have a substantial financial safety net, keep in mind that hiring managers tend to perceive job candidates who are currently employed more positively than those who are out of work, even voluntarily.

That doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t quit your job during a recession — especially if the daily responsibilities are taking a toll on your mental health or if you work in a toxic environment.

“It’s a very personal decision,” said Christine Cruzvergara, vice president of higher education and student success at Handshake, a platform for college students to find jobs. Cruzvergara has worked in career services at Georgetown University and George Mason University; when she meets with people who are frustrated with their jobs in a difficult economy, she helps them consider the “tradeoffs” associated with quitting.

Specifically, she’ll ask the person questions like whether they’re currently supporting a family and how much money they have saved up. That way, they can get a sense of whether — or when — leaving their job makes sense.

You can start looking into new job opportunities even before you’re ready to quit

Erica Keswin is a former executive coach at NYU Stern.

Erica Keswin

If you’ve analyzed the tradeoffs and the costs of quitting appear to outweigh the benefits, you’re hardly stuck. Career experts say this is the time to be proactive about shaping the rest of your career, by researching new opportunities and by getting in touch with people in your professional network who can potentially help you.

Keswin said one option, finances permitting, is to shift to a part-time schedule so you can spend a few days a week job-searching. Depending on your relationship with your manager, you may want to be candid about why you’re cutting your hours. If you’re a strong performer, Keswin said, your boss may be inclined to keep you happy. The cost of turnover is high — potentially higher than losing you for two days a week. “You never know,” Keswin said.

Remember, too: Regardless of the state of the economy, if you’re thinking about making a career change, it helps to have already built a brand, a platform, or a network of clients. That’s especially true if you’re planning to start your own business.

Alison Green, author of the popular Ask a Manager column, wrote in a blog post that she “had inadvertently spent the years before quitting my job setting up the perfect conditions for making this [transition] work.” Most significantly, she’d already started Ask a Manager, “which raised my visibility and got people familiar with my work.” Not to mention she’d saved up enough money to quit and start working for herself.

Consider the work you’ve already done to prepare yourself for another job — and what you still need to do

Even if you haven’t formally planned for a career transition, you may have already done some legwork.

On an episode of the Art of Charm podcast, marketing and strategy consultant Dorie Clark said it’s about taking advantage of your existing expertise and connections. “If you have been following one particular path and if you’ve become pretty successful at it,” Clark said, “the good news is that gives you a lot of social capital that you can leverage to be able to access those universes.” (Those universes are the new career fields you’re exploring.)

Clark recommended telling friends and former colleagues about the transition you’re making and asking them, “Who do you know that I should meet?”

You might also use this time to do “life design interviews,” which are coffee dates or phone calls in which you ask people about their career trajectories. Bill Burnett and Dave Evans, Stanford engineering professors who have published two books about design thinking, have written: “You want to hear what the person who does what you might someday want to do loves and hates about his job. You want to know what her days look like, and then you want to see if you can imagine yourself doing that job — and loving it — for months and years on end.”

That way, when you do make a career move, you’ll have a solid idea of what you’re getting into.

Don’t slack off in your current role, even if you’re thinking about your next move

Christine Cruzvergara is the vice president of higher education and student success at Handshake.

Courtesy of Handshake

Cruzvergara mentioned the position she held shortly after finishing graduate school. A few years in, she was ready for a new challenge — but the economy was still reeling from the Great Recession. Cruzvergara is a first-generation student and the daughter of two immigrants, and she said “there is one lesson that my mom has hammered home to me in a very strong way, which is you don’t leave a job until you have a job.”

So Cruzvergara spent time outside her day job “re-evaluating and reflecting on what I enjoyed and what I didn’t like about my first position, and what it was I was looking for in my next.” She started to network with people who could point her toward new opportunities — all while “fully dedicated to performing my duties and my responsibilities” in her current position.

Ultimately, she landed a new role at George Mason.

The same strategy may not work for everyone, which is why it’s crucial to be realistic about your needs and preferences. As Cruzvergara put it, every job-seeker has to make their own decision, “based on the totality of all of the factors in their life.”

%%

from Job Search Tips https://jobsearchtips.net/should-i-quit-my-job-in-a-recession-experts-share-their-best-advice/