18 | prologue
summary: billy has always loved the sea and his mother, and yet he has always known that love wasn't for him. Now that he's older he just has his Camaro and the routine of leaving girls bed's at dawn, yet nothing prepared him for what he saw on one of his nights out.
warnings: domestic abuse, swearing, mentions of sex.
listen to: Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince - Taylor Swift | Family line - Conan Gray | This love - Maroon 5 (playlist here)
word count: 1.5k
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Billy Hargrove had always known that love wasn’t for him.
He might’ve not known it when he was too young when he didn’t manage to perceive what kind of relationship his parents had but god, as soon as he realized it, his perception of loved seemed forever tainted.
He loved his mother, he truly did. She was always there for him, she knew about his dreams and his fears and she never judged him for them. She gave him all the love that a mother would, but even a bit more as it seemed like his father didn’t really like him.
Neil Hargrove was a harsh man, he never showed even a drop of kindness to anyone and even less to his son. He was violent beyond words and although his punches were hard on Billy’s body, his words hit him even harder. It came to a point that Billy knew what his father would say about him as if it was a poem he had to memorize for school, it usually went as: you are worthless, how could I have such an idiot kid? I’m supposed to raise this pussy? Such a waste of space.
It hurt him a lot, he would spend hours crying by his mother’s side.
He didn’t believe it could get any worse, and yet it did.
As he grew older, he didn’t hide in his room like before when the fights between his parents started. The yelling, the screaming, the broken plates, the insults, and soon the punches that ended up with him in the middle trying to defend his mother against his father.
Not that he could do much at ten.
It wasn’t long before the only place where he felt safe wasn’t at home but on the ocean. He loved the sounds of the waves crashing against the sand, he loved the warm summer breeze that cooled off his cheeks and nose when he came to breathe from the water. Soon, his mother got him a surfboard and he couldn’t have been happier. He was so good at it, that his mother and others called him a natural. He could spend hours surfing without a care in the world, he liked how his golden curls soaked with the seawater and feeling like he was all alone as he was draped on his surfboard while resting.
And then his mother left him.
Billy didn’t surf again after that, it hurt too much. He asked her for so long if she was going to come back for him and yet although she had assured her that she would with a trembling voice, it never happened.
He has left with his dad.
He never went surfing again.
After that, something changed in Billy.
He remembered his first report cards, they described him as an extroverted and smart kid, who was kind to his classmates but soon the report cards turned into warnings of his violent tendencies and the multiple fights he got on with classmates of him over the smallest disagreement. People started to fear him at school and soon was known for starting and ending fights.
Then, his father married Susan Mayfield who later turned into Susan Hargrove. She was a beautiful, feminine, and most importantly a quiet woman, who obeyed his father and would stay quiet, unlike his mother. She also had a kid that was the opposite of herself. Max was a tomboy and she didn’t like anything that normal girls would like, she was never quiet and had a lot of opinions. If Billy was being honest, he saw a lot of him in Max.
Nonetheless, Billy’s distrustful demeanor didn’t allow him and Max to get along a lot of the time at first, although sometimes they did and Billy actually felt okay?
It started small, with Billy watching Halloween and Max joining in. Billy taught Max how to ride a skateboard that he was already getting bored as he thought about the car he wanted to buy when he turned sixteen. Billy then taught her how to actually fight. And the moments whenever Billy’s dad beat him, Max stood up for him and tried to protect him since Neil never got it in him to hit Max, she offered him ice after any fight and they would sit alone without talking while listening to music.
He wouldn’t say he loved her as a sister, but he appreciated her.
Soon, after his sixteen birthday, his favorite place became his Camaro. He had worked almost every day since he was fourteen to save enough money to afford it and he spend every day in that car. A deep part inside of him knew that his car reminded him of surfing and the ocean. The waves crashing against the sand were replaced by the engine of his car, the warm summer breeze could also be felt if he pulled all of his windows down and he was an actually good driver although he could be a little reckless.
Most importantly, his appearance plus the car allowed him to get some interesting attention from girls.
He didn’t realize it probably until he started High School, how people would watch him arrive at his cars, how girls would stare at him and how her cheeks would be tainted pink if he got too close to them and soon Billy had his first kiss. Honestly, it was mostly a stolen one by Sharon Carter, who had grabbed Billy by the neck and put her tongue down his throat.
He didn’t particularly enjoy it but with time everything got better.
Soon, Billy realized that if he didn’t enjoy his life and if his home was hell, he decided to take pleasure where he may find it since it was so scarce for him. He started to have fun with girls, multiple girls, but if he was being honest he was pretty picky on who he decided to go out with. Some called Billy a slut and he got the reputation because it did precede him since he was no one’s boyfriend but still, he didn’t particularly enjoy it and he really thought he had a certain code of honor.
He always was pretty clear about what he wanted, which was to mess around and have sex. He always was clear on what he wanted and what he was willing to give. So, he’d enjoyed the company of girls and enjoyed it well but as soon as he started to notice or feel like they were getting too close, too familiar, and have that glimmer in their eyes that only meant one thing, Billy would drop them and run away.
He did it in California, and he did it in Hawkins.
Nonetheless, with Summer over, Tommy and Carol had been all over Billy talking about how he probably should get a Queen otherwise his popularity would decline. He didn’t understand that if he was being honest, he believed that he was still on top but they gave him multiple reasons, such as the fear of the school wasn’t enough, that if he played with too many girls he would become an asshole and that if he wanted to graduate being Hawkin’s King, he should at least meet one girl to go to the major events and become the ‘it couple’.
Billy really thought it was mostly bullshit that Carol had seen in a movie or a magazine but it made him wonder. Billy didn’t ever feel like he was worth something outside the halls of the school and if he lost that, although he didn’t even enjoy being King that much, what worth would he have?
Those were the thoughts that were plaguing him as he drove in the early hours of the morning after leaving the house of his latest fling. He didn’t get too much sleep after the fact or when Tina started to cry once he told her he was done. Honestly, Billy just wanted to cease his thoughts about everything as he drove slowly on the foggy street outside of the suburbs with no end.
And then he heard the roar of an engine that snapped him wide awake.
He turned to his right to see someone.
On a motorcycle.
Not any motorcycle but a fucking Yamaha Vmax.
Billy squinted his eyes and then they opened wide as plates as they saw their legs, or her legs, the short skirt was riled up by the way she was leaning on her bike as she upped the speed.
He didn’t understand if she was going so fast because of the fun of it or because she was actually running away from something. He understood the thrill of going fast in his own car but the way she was driving was right down insane, he was aware that if Hopper caught someone going on the road like that they would be detained as soon as possible, and yet she didn’t seem to care.
And something lighted up in Billy.
A thrill, a desire, something just made him throw his caution out the window.
Without missing a beat, Billy hit his pedals, and off he went behind you.
***
author's note: Lmk your thoughts i'm extremely excited for this but I decided to wait until ST4 dropped and now that's out i changed so many things i hope you like it. moreover i would appreciate a bunch if you supported me on ko-fi even one dollar makes the difference! thank you so much!
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