#bime rants

[ravendruid]

No one asked, but it was supposed to be only three chapters, then it became five. Chapter 14 was supposed to be a drabble, but it seems like I'm incapable of writing under 1000 words anymore. Yes, this is all just for the party.

I could try to combine chapters 11-14 in one chapter, but would anyone want to read 10k words????

[ao3feed-scumvillain]

Proud Immortal's Righteous Way

by Bem_Kofi

Luo Binghe is the protagonist of Proud Immortal’s Righteous Way, a complete disaster of a novel spanning thousands of chapters that involved the most ridiculous harem and plot holes that could swallow the Earth. Luo Biming had just finished read the whole thing—complete with scathing reviews for the Worst Author EverTM—when he dies from a freak accident. Suddenly, he finds himself in the same shitty world he was just ranting about accompanied by an awful google translate voice. [Welcome to Proud Immortal’s Righteous Way, Customer: Luo Biming is online! Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations! Good things must be said three times!]

***I really love all the little reverse AUs in the fandom so I put a bunch of them together and wrote this. I don't know how to tag this but basically: Peak Lord Demons, Demon Peak Lords, Transmigrator Binghe, Author Mobei-Jun, Shen Twins

Words: 1766, Chapters: 1/27, Language: English

Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū, Original Shěn Qīngqiū, Luò Bīnghé, Liǔ Qīnggē, Liǔ Míngyān, Níng Yīngyīng, Shàng Qīnghuá, Mòběi-jūn, Yuè Qīngyuán, Mù Qīngfāng

Relationships: Luò Bīnghé/Shěn Yuán | Shěn Qīngqiū, Mòběi-jūn/Shàng Qīnghuá, Original Shěn Qīngqiū/Yuè Qīngyuán

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence

source http://archiveofourown.org/works/22656745

[ravendruid]

I'm halfway through editing the next chapter of Be In My Eyes, and I'm so excited for what happens next. I've been thinking a lot about the story and I have a few different ideas of where things might go in the next few chapters, but as of right now, the story is still very much in the air. I have a goal in mind and a million paths I can take to get there, but I can't decide which one to take.

I know this is all very vague, and I know at the end of the day is going to be up to me to decide how to move this forward, but should I continue with the slow-burn and angst? Is that even something y'all are enjoying? Or are our poor Vaxleth hearts desperate for some happiness (I know mine is)?

[ravendruid]

.

I know no one asked but I'm writing BIME, and I'm about to make myself cry. okay bye.

[ravendruid]

CW: Mental health (It's mostly just me ranting into the void.)

I've been feeling really shitty about my writing for the past couple of weeks, especially with bime, to the point where I had a really bad depressive episode last night and cried myself to sleep.

I wanted to delete everything and disappear because everything I write is garbage, and I'm not good enough and never will be. And I know how stupid this is. Writing is supposed to be a hobby. It's not a competition, I don't have to be perfect, and I don't have to win awards. Then why do I feel like I'm such a fucking failure?

All my life has been like this, trying to please others, trying to match the standards imposed on me to be the best, to have the highest grades in school, to be the perfect daughter and sister who doesn't do anything wrong.

I don't feel any better today and won't feel any better tomorrow, but maybe in a month, I will. All I know right now is that seeing people enjoy the things I write makes me smile and is like a candlelight in the darkness. Every comment, reaction, like, reblog... it's like a match lighting up that lonely candle. While I know I still have a lot of darkness to go through to get there, I'm doing it. I'm taking baby steps, but I will get there one day.

I'm sorry for such a depressive post. I just needed to empty my brain into the void.