#bisexuality doesn't exist to invalidate any other mspec identities

[rorytelling]

Sorry for posting pan/bi discourse in 2023 but the Bisexual subreddit went from generally normal about pansexuality to fully "there exactly the same no matter what and if you add any nuance you're biphobic" recently and I'm mad.

The reason I take issue with this "they're the same and if you ascribe to any of the commonly accepted differences you're biphobic" rhetoric is I am a nonbinary bisexual who was around when pan and bi discourse started. If you go back less than 10 years the main argument against the existence of pansexuality was "that doesn't exist because there are only two genders."

But now cis queer people have decided I exist so now it's shifted to "actually bisexual has always included Nonbinary people so you're biphobic for thinking bi and pan aren't 100% the same always ever no matter what." And while yes it's true that bisexuality has always included Nonbinary people, it wasn't just pan Tumblr teens in 2015 who were saying it didn't. It was just as much if not moreso cis bisexuals. I wouldn't be surprised if the people who thought bisexuality was transphobic got that from bisexuals who were transphobic. So yeah, the idea that I'm wrong because y'all decided to stop being transphobic isn't okay to me. You don't get to change your tune and still be shitty to pansexuals. I used to be invalidated to invalidate pansexuals, I don't like being validated to invalidate pansexuals either. I'm not biphobic for having a memory. I am bi. I just know how to respect other people's queer identities.

You know what else is in the Bi Manifesto that you keep citing? The existence of other Mspec sexualities other than Bisexuality. Read the whole thing and not just the line about Nonbinary people.

[posi-pan]

Do you think you could explain how other mspec identities aren't just types of bisexuality? I'm a little confused because I've only been able to find information on them that explains them as being under the bi umbrella. /gen

the idea that other mspec identities are "just types of bisexuality" is super dismissive, invalidating, and -phobic. other mspec identities are whole identities in and of themselves, on their own. bisexuality is not the base or inherent or default mspec identity that others are born from or branch off of. they all relate, but they're all their own thing.

you can consider them part of the bi umbrella without thinking they're "types of bisexuality" or in other words, "bi by another name". because when bi is used as an umbrella it's being used how we use "mspec", and the reason people give for using bi instead of mspec is that it's a known, established term.

when people say bi umbrella or bi+, what they're actually saying is mspec. it's not saying "these other identities are types of bisexuality" or "these are all the same thing" or "all the different ways to say bisexual" or anything like that. that's not what an umbrella term exists to do, and when people use it that way, they're misusing it.

another thing that plays into this is that identity labels are choices. labels are not innate or prescribed. our attraction is what it is, when it is it. but we choose which labels we want to use to describe it, if any. if an mspec person doesn't identify with or as bi in any way, saying their actual identity is just a type of bisexuality is invalidating and disrespecting their self-identification and understanding of their own identity and feelings. which also disrespects how queerness works.

i hope this makes sense!