#blueberry cookies strain

[dinomintz]

cr doodles of various quality

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Restoration Worship

Nikolai x Fat F! Reader Tags: monsterfucking, gargoyles, dubcon, overstimulation, tail sex, anal play, double penetration, squirting, cunnilingus, p in v, dirty talk.  I think thats about it, I think yall should know by now that every reader I write is fat, blacked out and wrote 3K words of gargoyle smut sooo… enjoy!

It had begun as a research effort, a little trip to the cemetery to hopefully procure some interesting insight into a little project she’d been working on for the museum. Eyes scanning over lichen covered graves and cracked mausoleums, words long faded in time. 

She’d seen the videos before. Kind strangers brushing away years of decay with a brush and patience. Who would we be without the knowledge from our predecessors after all? 

So with a passion for restoration and a need for busy hands she set to work, uncovering gracious prayers and one of the best cookie recipes she’d ever tasted set within the worn stone. 

It’s months before she comes across him. He’s a big boy, covered in lichen and the webs of spiders, stone stained heavily from the elements. Sharp claws curl into the pedestal he hunkers on, broad wings curled against his back, stone teeth bared in warning. 

Even like this he’s beautiful, strong features carved delicately in tarnished marble. 

She’d found her next project. 

A decade had passed since death had been at Nikolai’s doorstep, when he’d let the stone take him, closed himself off from the world to rest after an egregious injury. He’d watched over the lowly cemetery with weak eyes, until they too became covered. Until he’d lost himself to the void, consciousness falling into inky blackness as he waited amongst the trees. 

That is, until her.

His days had shifted from the chittering of squirrels and bird song to an incessant chatter. A soft english lilt that stirred something in his hazy mind. He likes the english. Past visions of old friends flash in his mind, warm dark skin, cigars, a mask made of bone. 

How could he forget? 

He strains, willing his senses back to life, listens harder for the soft voice amongst the tombstones. 

She talks to the dead, chattering away at graves that will never speak back to her. This graveyard is old, quiet, its occupants long passed over after they stopped burying the dead here, when their loved ones had long passed on themselves. 

She asks them questions, makes up stories, tells them about her day. She’s a museum conservator and she brings things back to life all the time. Making them shiny and new, loving them through hard work and careful hands so that others may get to love them too. 

And when she’s not talking she’s humming, or singing so off tune that even the birds grumble. But she’s laughing at herself,  looking up songs from the years written on the graves and playing those too, a little tune the deceased might be familiar with. 

Her voice bounces from grave to grave, and he realizes she’s cleaning them, scrubbing the dirt away and bidding them adieu when her task is finished. 

Sweet thing, he muses, wishing he could see her, wishing she would bring him to life too.

His dream comes true on a sunny afternoon, the summer rays warming his stone, waking him just a little more. 

She’s close, footsteps rustling the leaves at his feet as she circles him. 

“You keep watch don’t you?” she asks him seriously, and she’s right there. So close he can smell her, like blueberries and vanilla sugar, it’d make his mouth water if he could just move.

She speaks again, but he can barely register the words as warm gentle hands clear the infinite dark from his field of view. Brushing away vines and lichen.

“There! That’s better!” 

And there she is. A big soft girl, with sweet round cheeks flushed from the heat. He needs to hold her, crush her close and reward her for her kindness, but she’s gone just as quickly, promising to return to clean him properly, and his marble heart warms at the thought. He commits her form to memory, watching her soft braids sway against her back as she leaves.  

A longing seeping deep into his marrow as he lets the sleep take him again. 

She returns the following weekend, small spray rig and gentle cleaner in hand when she finds him again. She’s mindful, soft hands gently tugging at his limbs to test the durability before ambling her soft body onto his platform. It’s wonderful, to finally feel the heat of another against his skin, and he thinks if the sun weren’t touching him he could come to life now, tackle her into the soft grass and ravish her. He knows she’d be so sweet, whimpering and mewling under his touch. 

It would wait for another time. 

She works from the top down, soaking him with warm water before scrubbing him with soft bristle brushes. She’s delicate, leaning her soft body against his as she cleans, washing away years of dirt and moss. She scrubs behind his ears, in the bend of his horns, clearing the nests of insects from between his teeth. He revels in the feel of her, soft breasts and belly pressed to his skin, gentle hands stroking over the sensitive margins of his wings. Had he been mobile he’d be purring, with spread wings and stiff cock all over some gentle petting. 

He mourns when she leaves, water cooling against his stone as she packs up before nightfall. 

But it gives him time to practice.

It takes days, weeks, before he can move under the cover of night, limbs coming to life sluggishly, the world becoming more clear to his dulled senses. 

She returns like clockwork, spending the afternoons with him, chatting and humming, leaning against his platform as she eats her lunch. 

He can’t move far, just a few movements, but he gets greedy, finally willing his wings to open, letting them stretch pleasantly in the cool night air and freeze there when the sun freezes him again. 

She’s a bit startled when she returns, eyeing him with confusion and the broad reptilian wings spread proudly behind his back. Come closer love, they’ve always been this way.

Nevertheless she scrubs those too, warm hands petting over the webbing, ghost along the modified fingers of his wings. He has half a mind to wallow in the night, cover himself in more dirt if only to keep her trips regular. But he knows his time is coming to an end when she dusts away the last leaves from his pedestal. 

She has a final rest with him, his sweet keeper perched at his feet as she watches the sun disappear behind the trees. 

And finally, finally. As the soft light of the moon kisses his skin, he greets her. 

“Hello solnyshka” he purrs, voice low and gravely,  amusement crinkling pupil-less eyes, as he watches her nearly jump out of her skin. Scrambling away and whirling to take a look at the massive gargoyle.  He can see now, really see, and she’s lovely. Freckles dusting round cheeks, bulky denim and cotton hiding big soft curves underneath. 

She’s frozen, staring at him with wide eyes. He stretches, not unlike a cat, trembling slightly with the effort as he spreads his wings, lifts his hands above his head to crack his own spine, shaking away the stiffness from his tired bones. He relaxes again,  smiling at her fondly, revealing sharp fangs underneath. 

“I’m grateful for your work.” he calls again, taking a slow step off of his platform, clawed feet digging into the earth below. He is truly, his new keeper being the first ray of sun to truly grace his skin in decades. Just the light he needed to wake him from his slumber.  He needs to hold her, feel her softness under his claws. 

She swallows, clasping trembling hands in front of her. 

“I didn’t mean to be a bother, sir”

Sir.

He purrs at the honorific, but why did she think she was a bother? Had she not heard him?

“Not a bother, you’ve “restored” me” he chuckles, “quite well too” he adds looking over his limbs as he eases closer. “Call me Kolya.”

She repeats it, mimicking the accent just right, and being the polite thing she is, she gives him her name in return. It melts in his mouth like sugar, His pretty prize unaware of the hold she’s given him with just her name alone. 

“Come here, let me have a look at you”

She hesitates a moment before inching towards him, and he meets her halfway with a long stride, chin to his chest as he looks her up and down. His poor thing is so nervous. Fidgeting under his gaze, pulling, pushing and twisting at the joints of her fingers, desperate to get them to pop, to alleviate some of the tension in her body. 

He takes her hand in his, sliding a claw between her fingers to shake them loose, letting her soft little hand curl around his own. He dwarfs her, already half-hard with just her palm in his. He moves her carefully, flipping her hand over to trace a dark claw over the sensitive lines of her palm drawing a small shiver from her that has his cock twitching in interest. 

He continues, gliding his fingers up her arm, over her shoulder, toying briefly with the denim strap of her overalls. She’s bashful, keeping her eyes averted, a hot flush to her cheeks as he looks her over. 

“None of that” he chides, sliding his fingers beneath her chin, tilting her back. Her lips part, pupils blown as he smiles down at her, some of her nervousness melting away as he handles her so gently.  “So pretty, daragaya” and the stars in her eyes as he praises her break what little self control he has left. 

He’s quick, catching her round face in both hands and bending low, pressing a hungry kiss to her lips. She squirms briefly, hands flying up to grip his wrists in panic, he curls a tail around her calf, holding her neatly in place as he licks into her mouth, earning a soft gasp from his keeper as her lips part for him. 

Good gods, she even tastes sweet. 

He purrs happily into her mouth, savoring the taste of her flavored chapstick, the end of his tail flickering happily, brushing the soft curve of her ass. She’s panting now, a soft little whine bubbling from her throat at the contact. He dives low, licking a stripe across her jaw, reveling in the salt of her skin before nibbling and kissing his way down her throat, clawed fingers easily popping the cheap metal clasps of her outfit, pushing the denim away before yanking off the extra cotton shirt underneath. 

Nikolai thinks it should be forbidden for such soft curves to be hidden like that. She’s a vision, an angel with the most beautiful soft curves, and when he has her back in his den he’ll dress her in the finest silks and jewelry, pretty chains to hug her waist, dangle nicely between her breasts. Highlight all his favorite parts. He might even keep her bare, just for his eyes to see. 

She shivers in the cold, using her arms to cover her breasts as best as she could, eyes averted from his hungry gaze.  Why did she hide from him? There should be paintings of her, statues in her image. She was perfect. So warm and soft, he kneaded at the handles at her hips, clawed fingers tracing over the soft swell of her belly, the rolls at her sides, skin hot beneath his fingers. He huffs, snagging her wrists and holding them well above her head, using the extra digits at the ends of his wings to hold her there, pulled taught and vulnerable beneath his gaze.

With a sharp claw he rips away the scrap of fabric that covered her chest, large hands palming them eagerly, nipples pebbling under the warm drag of his thumbs. He hums, pinching and pulling at her perfect little tits, hard cock nudging incessantly at her belly, leaving glistening webs of pre-cum over her skin as she whimpers and gasps. 

“Kolya” she whines as he drags a hot tongue over her soft peaks, flicking his tongue over her pert skin before drawing a nipple into his mouth, nibbling and suckleing greedily. He breaks away, grinning up at her, sinking his teeth into the meat of her breast cheekily. She squirms, eyes squeezed tight and teeth dug into her plump lip as she tries halfheartedly to escape him. Though the wiggling only gives her tits a lovely jiggle that has him diving in again, nipping at her nipple just to earn himself another squeal. 

He kisses over the skin in a gentle apology before sliding down her belly, pressing a trail of hot kisses there before he reaches the seam of her panties, cute little curls peaking out around the edges at her thighs. He marvels at the dark stain of her arousal, pressing his nose into the soaked fabric and breathing deep. She bucks against his face, squirming madly to get some kind friction. Not so demure now are you?

“I’ll take care of you greedy girl, patience.” he warns, tail patting her ass fondly as he drags his tongue along the sodden fabric. He rips those away too, thick tongue sliding against her folds with little preamble, the resounding moan like music to his ears. Using his tail to tug her legs further apart, he lavishes her in earnest, slurping at her cunt like a beast, using his thumbs to spready her puffy lips apart. She’s heaven, sweet and tangy on his tongue, and he would stay here for hours, drinking her down until her legs gave out and then taking more. 

He sinks his tongue inside, licking into her tight heat as his nose brushes against her clit, humming wickedly as she cries and bucks. He takes control, dragging his claws up to grip her hips, guiding her into a nice and easy rhythm against his face. He loves every minute of it, reveling in the drag of her soaked folds against his tongue,  the broken whines as he breaks away to suck her clit. He drags her to the edge over and over, fucking his tongue back into her wet heat and nosing at her sensitive nerves until she’s gushing against his face with a choked cry. 

“So good, solnyshka” he praises, sitting back on his haunches to admire his work. He leans in, licking a hot stripe up her thigh, catching the errant rivulets of slick as they drip from her. 

“So wet, I bet we can make a bigger mess can’t we?” he purrs, dragging his knuckles against the soaked seam of her sex, drawing a tired whimper from her. She sags against his hold, chest flushed, and thighs soaked. He could devour her whole like this. 

He releases her, lifting her spent body into his arms, easing her down onto the clean pedestal that was once his. Pushing her legs apart he slides between them, sliding his neglected cock over her folds, using his tip to rub at her sensitive clit before sliding it along her body. He’s thick, head tapered to a near point, thick ridges rippling along underside of his shaft for a textured drag. Heavy balls kiss the seam of her sex as he rests there, tip drooling against her stomach. He needs her to see what she’s getting herself into, how much she’ll need to take for him. His soft girl looks up at him, big glassy eyes full of nervous anticipation. 

“I know” he coos, grinding himself against her skin, “you can take it, my perfect girl, we just need a little more room.”

He needs her pliant, well stretched to take him fully. With his claws as they were, using his fingers wasn’t an option,  but he does have another solution. Dragging a heavy palm through her slick he grabs hold of his tail, coating the tapered end thoroughly before guiding it toward her entrance, using a thumb to circle her clit as he slips inside. 

The tip is easy, no thicker than a couple of her fingers as it pushes its way inside, the glide nice and easy from her previous orgasm. He fucks nice and slow, thrusting the tip in shallowly until she’s whining for more. He leans over her, rutting his cock against the crease of her thigh as he sinks his tail in further, fucks into her with more speed, using his hands wisely to play with her tits, rolling her nipples between his fingers and nibbling at her lips to distract her from the stretch. She’s holding on for dear life, hands gripping his horns for purchase. 

Even as spent as she is, she clenches around him desperately, sweet pussy desperate to take as much of him as she can. He can’t wait to feel her pulsing against his cock. Wet and hot, and so so tight. 

He growls, rutting into her with more fervor. She’s close, chubby thighs clenching as he curls the tip of his tail a bit, just to bully more of his length inside of her. She’s lost in it, frantically kissing at his face as her peak draws closer and closer.  Sneaking a thumb against her clit she cums again, legs slamming shut against his tail as he fucks her through it, laughing as she sobs, shoving at him weakly as she gushes messily around him again, slick coating his abdomen and dribbling down the stone underneath. 

“Good girl, one more for me zoloste, I know you can do it.” He yanks her thighs apart pulling his tail from her greedy cunt and dragging her further down the pedestal, her plush ass hanging off the edge. He rests her thighs against his chest, kissing her ankle soothingly as he drags himself through her slick folds, thoroughly coating himself before lining up with her entrance. 

Even with the prep it’s a tight squeeze. He takes it slow, bullying his way inside her soaked heat, gummy walls squeezing him tight as he sinks in, whimpering as the ridges of his cock drag against her sore entrance.  He fucks slowly, pumping in shallow thrusts before he pulls out again, teasing her tired clit and pushing in again, head thrown back with victorious groan as he finally pushes himself to the hilt. 

Its a gorgeous sight, her pussy split open on the girth of him, legs spread wide and clit twitching as he fucks her with tight shallow circles. She’s a mess, cheeks streaked with tears and trembling against the stone, whimpers and little hiccups falling from her lips. He hushes her, sliding his palms against her thighs, catching her hands to curl his fingers in hers, anchoring her there as he picks up the pace. 

She’s already close, cunt clenching around him with every thrust. He fucks into her with earnest, her pretty fat pussy swallowing him down to the balls as the sticky slap of it echoes through the cemetery. 

“Fuck, taking me like you were made for it.”  he snarls bending over her to lick into her mouth, swallowing every little cry and plea as he fucks her mercilessly, soft body jiggling with the harshness of it. 

“You’ll give me anything won’t you? Let me fill up this pretty pussy.” he pants, yanking her closer, and with a sick knowing grin, his tail slides underneath her, slick tip toying with her asshole. “Let me fill this pretty ass too, wouldn’t you?”

“Anything you want, Kolya, please, please,”  she begs, his perfect girl cock drunk and hazy, tears spilling down her cheeks as she rocks into him for more. 

“Don’t even know what's good for you, silly girl, you’d let me tear you in two.” he chuckles, “ but I’ll give you a little taste.” His tip slides between her cheeks, already slick from her own juices.  He teases her there, flickering playfully at her hole before sinking in slowly, pushing just past her tight ring of muscle to fill her up, groaning at the feel of his own cock sliding against her walls. 

Her next orgasm takes her like a freight train, soft body arching and trembling as it ravages through her. He fucks her through it, pussy clenching him like a vice as he pulls his tail from her ass, sharp claws digging into the meat of her hips hard enough to draw blood as he chases his own end. 

Snarling like a beast he pounds into her, sinking himself deep as he comes with a low growl, painting her insides with long spurts. Filling her completely until his spend seeps out around his cock, spilling down her thighs and into the soft earth below. 

He holds them there like that, cock buried deep as he marks her from the inside out, his bulky head resting against her breasts as they both come down. 

His, his, his. 

His perfect soft girl, flushed and damp from sweat and slick, trembling hands carding though his dark hair.  Kind and gentle despite the way he ravaged her. 

And when she leans up, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips with a nervous giggle, he knows he’ll guard her for the rest of his days. 

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

please give me a list of weed strain names

Green Magic

Black Death

Diesel

Shredder

Joint

Big Bertha

Pigeon Shit

Blunt

Majestic

Lodi

Ollie

Lunacy

Curse of the Green Hell

Cannabitch

Runt

Chocolate Covered Crackers

Black Cat

Marijuana

Aero

Shit

Grin

The Original Haze

White Death

Cotton Candy

Kush

Purple Haze

Cheesy

Dwarf's Gummy

Cheeto

Waka

White Girl

Cannabis

Shitpile

Crunk

Head Bitch

Wacky Water

Kushie

Ozomatli

Fantastica

Lunacy

Shroom

Lemon Demon

Door Hanger

Blunt

Joint

Wad

Blueberry

Chonk

Suck

Chill

Swisher's Edge

Purple Haze

Tango

Cookie

Boner

Dwarf

White Guy

Muffin

Blunts

Shroomie

The Joint

Lunacy

Dwarf's Gummy

White Girl

Green Crack

Dank

Skunk

Purple Skunk

Sativa

Shroom

Blueberry

Gummy

Cookie

Cannabash

Slim Jim

Shitty

Runt

Shits

Gruv

Boner

Wad

Swisher's Edge

Suck

Oz

Nug

Joint

Shroomie

Chonk

Suck

Nug

Joint

Wad

Kush

Tango

Swisher's Edge

Shroomie

Chonk

Sucker

Grip

Fantastica

Blunt

Swisher's Edge

Boner

Grip

Fantastica

[drpeppertummy]

tbh i would kill for a written piece about a day in teddys life when he's having his werewolf cravings. the diner fic with him was so fucking good dude & i can't stop wondering about that big breakfast, lunch, and dinner he had tbhhh

hi this has been sitting here for like a month😭😭😭 quick goofy little thing

[cycle of hunger & stuffing]

His belly rumbled.

He smiled sheepishly, and Bruce simply laughed and ruffled his hair and made extra waffles that morning. Five fluffy waffles and a couple of eggs later, Teddy's belly was stuffed full, poking out adorably over the forgiving waist of his pajama pants and peeking out ever-so-slightly beneath the hem of his soft shirt. Luna snuck up behind him and gave his round tummy a fond pat. He tipped his head back to smile sleepily at her. Right now, he didn't think he'd be able to fit another bite if he tried. He hoped the big breakfast would hold him over until lunch. Yawning, holding one hand to his snug belly, he pushed himself up and helped clean up.

His belly rumbled.

It was only a couple hours after breakfast, and ordinarily, Teddy would still have felt too stuffed to move. The full moon was only a few days away, though, and his appetite had spiked through the roof, his body desperately trying to store away enough energy to transform. He looked at the clock. It was nowhere near lunchtime yet, but the hunger pangs were beginning to get to him. Reluctantly, he snuck away to the kitchen, hoping nobody would notice his snacking. His belly was still puffed out from breakfast, but his stomach didn't seem to care, and he managed to put away a couple of bananas and a handful of cookies before scampering off. He felt full once again, his stomach taut with the new addition.

His belly rumbled.

It had been rumbling away for the past hour, nagging at him to eat something, and he was relieved when it was finally an appropriate time to make lunch. His stomach guiding him more than his brain, he put together two big sandwiches, a hearty scoop of mashed potatoes left over from a few nights ago, and a can of soup. He nearly dropped the bowl in surprise when he turned around to see Luna in the doorway, watching with amusement. She grinned and patted his shoulder, and he smiled sheepishly, blushing. Feeling a little more at ease, he dug into his lunch, which was a very welcome guest in his aching stomach. He began to feel full around halfway through, but he pushed on and finished it, his stomach feeling strained and stretched as he swallowed the last bite. His tummy bulged comically against his normally-loose shirt, and he contemplated unbuttoning his jeans, which were now squeezing his distended middle a little too tightly. A little burp escaped him, and he covered his mouth, embarrassed. When he stood to clean up, he was suddenly aware of the enormous weight in his belly, and he stopped to hold it for a moment, stunned at how tight and swollen it felt. Then, with a soft sigh, he straightened up his mess and went on with his day.

His belly rumbled.

Teddy groaned and let his head fall back against the couch cushion. It hadn't been that long since his enormous lunch, and his belly still bulged absurdly from his small frame, threatening to pop the button of his jeans open if he moved the wrong way. His stomach didn't care, though; despite still being relatively full, his body wanted nutrients. Frustrated, he held his arms around his belly, trying in vain to suppress his hunger. It was no use. Sighing, he got himself a glass of juice, hoping to fill in the empty space long enough to hold himself until dinner. Juice was a poor substitute for food, though, and Bruce, noticing his growling tummy, urged him to have a snack. Reluctantly, he gave in and ate an apple and a big blueberry muffin from a pack they'd bought the other day. He had no idea how there was even room for it in his tightly-packed tummy. Once again, though, his hunger was appeased, at least for the time being.

His belly rumbled.

Anybody else might have looked at Teddy and thought he couldn't possibly hold another bite, let alone sit down for a nice big dinner. Bruce and Luna knew better. Despite his well-stuffed belly, he was ravenous, and Bruce was on the case. It was a nice evening to break out the grill, and while a passing neighbor might have assumed he was cooking for a crowd, it was only the three of them. Together, they sat out back for a dinner of burgers and hotdogs, with Luna's signature deviled eggs and a potato salad Teddy had made on the side. Teddy ate two burgers and hotdogs each, along with a few eggs and a big scoop of the potato salad. On an average day, he wouldn't have been able to eat that much on an empty stomach, let alone an overstuffed one, but his friends knew well enough that the approaching full moon was another story. By the time he was finished, unbuttoning his jeans was no longer optional, and he leaned back in his seat with a sigh and a stifled burp, resting his hands on his belly. His entire system felt like it was stretched drum-tight, working hard against the ridiculous amount of food he'd managed to put away in one day, letting out soft little gurgles and grumbles as it tried to digest everything. He couldn't imagine trying to eat anything else; he was so full he wasn't sure he'd even be able to get out of his seat.

His belly rumbled.

[cherryxblossxms]

Hi Tarren!~ I've noticed there are a lot of weed strains and they can have some pretty funny names. Which do you think Buggy partakes in? :3

THIS IS SO LATE IM SORRY

Did not mean to leave this in my inbox for several days 😭

I feel like he's not actually very good at looking at what the different strains have/are known for and just gets stuff with the silly names. I actually just found out there is a strain called "Pennywise", but it's a fairly calming strain high in CBD. I feel like he'd get it, expecting to get really fucked up, but really he just gets some great joint pain relief ajfjdjaka

Meanwhile, he gets something like "Trainwreck" thinking it's another one that's poorly named, only to be slapped in the face by its properties. Supposedly, it gives an energy boost and euphoria, hence the name.

And I think he'd like a lot of the silly food names some of them have, like "Ice Cream Cake", "Blueberry Muffins", and "Animal Cookies". (Buggy also feels like a secret edgelord and likes the more intense sounding names too, like "Chemdog" and "Motorbreath")

[kousaka-ayumu]

"Red Pepper Cookie"

Red Pepper Cookie or Sage always have a strained relationship with his older sister Chili Pepper or Anise.

He never knew why though, the only thing he knew is that his relationship with his sister have become strained after their father Flame Cookie have crumbled from unknown circumstances, from his friend Mala Sause's father Spicy Sause Cookie.

His family have been financially struggling to pay their debt, Flame has been stealing a lot to keep his children happy especially hence he doesn't have a wife, so he usually leaves them under Spicy's care.

Eventually his sister started following their father's footsteps of thiefiry outside of the Dragon's Valley.

And Sage hated it, he just wanted his father and sister to stop living like this but alas he couldn't do anything other than training martial arts at the Mala Clan with Spicy and Mala Sause.

Until Flame crumbled and Chili left, he stayed at the Mala Clan for almost a year now.

Until a little blueberry bird gave him a letter that his sister is in a place called the "Cookie Kingdom".

At first he doubted that Chili is in this "Cookie Kingdom" as he knew that his sister didn't stay at one place for too long due to her being a criminal.

But Spicy convinced him to gave her a chance, he thought that Chili might changed for the better.

And he did, but there's a problem. He didn't know where this Cookie Kingdom is. But the bird told him it's in the rollcake forest.

So he left the Mala Tribe with only his luggage of clothes, and bags with food and water to sustain his travels all the way to the Cookie Kingdom.

That was until he ended up in the rollcake forest, he was sure that the Cookie Kingdom is in there somewhere.

As she continued walking but he looks tired from all the traveling, until he saw something red from the trees.

He walked towards where red colors from, hiding behind a tree, and his eyes widened in shock and horror.

It was his sister Chili Pepper Cookie/Anise and a woman have kissed her but something is wrong, obviously.

The bright red haired woman who dressed like a priestess have grabbed both of Chili's wrists holding her back from fighting, and the amount of whimpering from Chili, she's in danger.

Sage is so in shock that he froze unable to help his sister as she's now passed out in the priestess's arms.

[theunseenpoet]

Lovers Lies | Thomas TMR (2)

Pairing: Thomas x fem OC

Word Count: 1.4k

(1)

--

IT wasn't a surprise when Sandra saw Minho leaning back against the wall out the front of the shower hut, his muscled arms crossed over his chest with a sharp look in his eyes that softened when he saw her.

"How long did you get at the creek today?" he asked her, pushing off the wall.

"Only an hour," she simply answered, stopping beside him with dry clothes and a towel still wrapped around her body. "Chuck helped me wash some clothes before Carl made us get out."

Minho chuckled, looking behind her to where Carlos was, hanging up the wet clothes over a rope tied from one tree to another.

"You know, you don't have to stand out here every time I go for a shower, right?" She placed a hand on her hip, arching a brow.

Minho shrugged his shoulders with a careless smirk on his face. "Is this you finally inviting me to join you in the show—Ow! Jesus Sansa!"

"Say stupid things, get stupid rewards," Sandra muttered, rolling her eyes as she walked into the showers.

"It was just a suggestion!" Minho called out, muttering a curse under his breath as he leaned back against the wall.

"Imagine if Carl heard that suggestion," she shot back, walking past a few empty shower stalls until she reached the end one and walked in.

The other doors didn't have a lock, but with her being the only girl, Gally had put a lock on one and it became clear to everyone that that particular shower was hers. Thankfully, no one argued about that. 

Sandra got undressed and then took her braids out before quickly washing her body and hair with shampoo, not wanting to leave Minho waiting for a long time outside when dinner would no doubt be starting to get served up soon.

A shower two stalls down turned on and Sandra froze, her hands still in her hair. Anxiety crept through her body like a spider as she strained her ears to listen, praying that one of the boys wouldn't try anything and also wondering where the hell Minho went.

"It's only me!" Carlos called out, instantly making her relax. "I told Minho to go get dinner."

"You could've told me you were coming in, slinthead," Sandra shot back, turning off the shower. "I think I had a heart attack."

"And this is exactly why Minho stands outside when I'm not," he muttered.

Sandra ignored his comment and dried herself before slipping into black trackies that Nick used to own and then she slipped on a black shirt and her black jacket. Carlos was still in his closed stall as she walked past, letting him know she was going to the kitchen to get some dinner.

The sky had turned twilight by the time she walked out of the showers and made her way toward the kitchen, returning a few smiles thrown her way. As usual, Newt, Alby, and Minho were seated at the same picnic table with Chuck joining them. Well, that was unusual but made her smile. The youngest boy normally waited for her before joining the others, but it seemed he was starting to show more confidence.

"Clint said you made more cookies," Jeff started, pulling her attention to the curly-haired, light-skinned boy standing in line ahead of her with a smile. "I ran all the way over here to make sure I get one before one of these idiots ate them all."

Sandra laughed, noticing a few boys eating cookies as she looked around. "I'll make more tomorrow if we run out tonight."

"I heard through a few boys that you might make your blueberry muffins tomorrow," Winston said, turning around in front of Jeff. "Be sure to save me one."

"She'll make them when she wants, mate," Newt cut in, placing a hand on Sandra's shoulder. "Now get your dinner and eat up. Tonight's an early night."

Winston and Jeff nodded, turning their backs to the pair as Newt pulled Sandra toward the front of the line, past the other boys. 

Frypan was waiting behind the serving bench with a smile and two trays held out to her. "I made sure to give you an extra cookie since you made them," he informed her.

"Thanks, Sig," she hummed, taking both the trays with a warm smile before walking over to the picnic table with Newt.

"Sansa, these cookies are good," Alby commented, taking a bite into his cookie as Sandra sat down beside Minho.

"Yeah, they are," Chuck said, food spitting out of his mouth as he sat across from Sandra.

Sandra slapped his hand with a scowl. "Cover ya' mouth when you're talking with food in your mouth," she hissed.

All the boys started laughing as Chuck blushed, covering his mouth with a hand while chewing the food in his mouth.

"What's got you idiots laughing?" Carlos asked, pushing his way between Minho and Sandra, forcing them to sit on either edge of the wooden bench. He took the second tray from Sandra, grinning at the mashed potatoes, carrots, and pork sausages. "What did Chuck do now?"

"Sansa got up him for eating with his mouth full of food," Minho answered with a grin. "It probably turned the little shuck face on."

"Minho!" Alby, Newt, and Sandra groaned at the same time, the three of them throwing parts of their dinner at his head.

"You're an idiot," Alby said, shaking his head while standing up. "I gotta check on a few things but I'll be back soon." Sandra gave him a small smile before he walked away.

With all of them being focused on a complaining Minho who was currently picking food out of his black hair, none of them noticed the tall scrawny boy standing at the end of the table, between Sandra and Chuck.

"Did you clean my shoes?" Adam asked Chuck, gaining everyone's attention.

Chuck seemed to shrink himself in his seat, a look of fear in his eyes that Sandra noticed straight away while pushing around the mashed potatoes on her tray. The youngest boy had been in the Glade for nearly a month now and the other Gladers had stopped teasing him. All except one—Adam. There had been a few times when Sandra saw Adam punch Chuck in the stomach, but every time she intervened, the older boy just didn't seem to care.

"I was busy helping someone else," Chuck quietly admitted, staring down at his tray of dinner. 

The other Gladers had gone silent with hard eyes while watching Adam who was staring daggers into the side of Chuck's face. None of them particularly liked Adam and for good reason. He wasn't one of the oldest boys like Alby and Carlos, but he liked to think he was. That somehow made him think he had more power than the other Gladers. And, he seemed to always have it out for Sandra, making rude comments, cat calling her, even telling a few other boys that she was his for the taking.

Disgusting pig.

"I'm a first priority," Adam spat with hatred.

Newt groaned in annoyance, rolling his eyes. "Oh, piss off, mate. You aren't his first priority so why don't you rack off?"

Adam turned his dagger gaze to Newt, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why don't you mind your business, limp boy."

That nickname made Sandra tense. She and Minho were the only ones who knew how exactly Newt got a limp, and for Adam to bring it up against one of her closest friends, enraged her. With one swift movement, she unsheathed the machete that was on Carlos' belt. Before any of them could blink, she pressed the sharpened end against Adam's crouch, not hard enough to cut through the fabric of his brown pants, but hard enough to warn him that she wasn't playing around.

"I would suggest walking away before I de-ball you," Sandra lowly warned, eating a piece of carrot while looking up at him. "It would be a shame to take away your favorite part, even if it's so small."

Minho snickered, covering his mouth with a hand with amusement shining in his eyes at the clear fear covering Adam's face as the boy looked down at the machete and then at Sandra. Chuck turned pale as paper, his eyes wide with surprise. Newt was just as surprised, even after seeing that side of her many times. And Carlos—Oh, the older boy looked as proud as ever while he continued to eat his dinner.

"Well?" Sandra raised a brow at Adam. "You gonna fuck off or piss yourself?"

Adam gulped, taking a step back before looking at Chuck. "You're in deep klunk now."

Sandra clicked her tongue, putting the machete on the table. "You touch a hair on his head, and I won't give you a warning next time," she said with a sweet smile.

The second Adam turned around and started walking away, Minho howled in laughter with Carlos while Newt smiled, shaking his head. 

"You're insane, Sansa," Newt mumbled, watching her shrug her shoulders while eating the last of her dinner.

Carlos threw an arm over his sister's shoulders, pulling her into his side. "That she is."

--

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[brightlotusmoon]

Weed talk: I love when of my favorite strains create a child strain. Case in point, Orange Drizzle, child of Mimosa and Wedding Cake. Or Pebblewreck, child of Trainwreck, Fruity Pebbles, and Girl Scout Cookies. Or Blueberry Pie, child of Blue Dream and Girl Scout Cookies. Or Spritzer, child of Grape Pie, Runtz, and Miracle Alien Cookies. Lots of Polyamory these days.

I'm hungry.

[feralthembo]

I have like 7 carts of different strains I wish I could do like a weed tasting, see this is a classic northern lights wile this is newer frutyer blueberry cookie ice cream, notice the hints of Barry from the caryophyllene. You shaking your head as free strong weed

Yeah i would be more into the intricacies of wine tasting ksjdjfkfjfjf im just here to get fucked up and not hurt so much

[scsacostamesa]

Raw Garden - Blueberry Mojito This indica strain is a cross between Blueberry Cookies x Lime Mojito with a Berry, Resinous, Floral flavor.

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The Most Popular and Top-Rated Weed Strains That You Should Try in 2023

You have likely seen some new cannabis strains in your dispensary. There have been a few superb strains that have opened up in the past year. Cannabis has become more planned. As a result, strains are being developed for additional specific medical and recreational benefits.

We recognize that not all customers are as willing to reschedule their schedules, even though new and potent strains can be quite energizing. Maybe you prefer a more conventional and natural strain; that fits.

But it wouldn't be right to let this many strong newcomers go unnoticed by everyone. Now that we're nearing the end of 2022, it's time we at long last dropped our list of the most popular strains of the year.

Top Marijuana Strains of 2022

This year has been impactful for cannabis enthusiasts, growers, and users. Many powerful strains have emerged and dominated the cannabis industry. However, sit back and relax; we have accumulated the most popular strains on this list!

Blue Cheese

Is it true or not that you are feeling exhausted and tired in light of arduous exercises, and you're attempting to search for exotic weeds to assist with mitigating that inclination? Assuming this is the case, then, at that point, the Blue Cheese strain is the ideal exotic weed strain for you!

Over 40% of individuals have effectively felt better about their stress and anxiety as a result of it, and the larger part felt languid!

Relax, however, in light of the fact that the word "exotic" in this setting isn't exhausting. Users likewise announced having encountered chuckling and snickers when they picked this weed strain.

It will leave a sweet, smooth, one-of-a-kind flavor and fragrance with an 18% THC level, and its previous strains being Blueberry and UK Cheese.

Malawi Gold

Malawi Gold is one of the most seasoned and popular strains of everything. This is a legendary landrace strain that has naturally filled Malawi. The strain has regular, strengthening impacts that can be the solution to lethargy, a loss of craving, and stress.

Since Malawi Gold is typically found in regular regions, it has tar and menthol tastes with a smidgen of tropical and flower fragrances.

The Malawi Gold strain is one of the most difficult strains to get due to its naturalness.

Wedding Cake

Also known and frequently alluded to as "Triangle Mints," Wedding Cake is one of the strongest kinds of indica-dominant hybrid marijuana strains and is produced by crossing Animal Mints and Triangle Kush.

The strain has unmistakably relaxing, sedating, and quieting effects, with hints of natural, peppery, and sweet.

One of the things that could cost you this item is the fact that it can make you extremely dizzy and sick due to its Limonene dominance.

OG Bubba Kush

The OG Bubba is a very strong indica strain with a lovely fragrance and sweet natural flavors that were created by crossing Ghost OG and Pre-98 Bubba Kush. 40% of its users guaranteed that it enormously assisted them with adapting to their stress, while a little more than 34% said that it was compelling in treating and easing pain.

The OG Bubba Kush strain is frequently prescribed to medical patients, but it is also used recreationally.

It has around 17% THC, yet regardless, it is an ideal strain on the off chance that you're searching for something near OG Kush and others of its sort.

Animal Mints

Animal Mints delivers an incredibly comfortable and smooth high with an 80:20 Indica-Sativa proportion, making it an indica-dominant hybrid. This strain is one of the most outstanding new strains to raise a ruckus around town. It is an impeccably adjusted hybrid that is incredibly intense.

This strain was made by crossing the famous Mint Girl Scout Cookies with Fire OG. Animal Mints have low CBD and 25–32% THC. Accordingly, this strain is for veteran users only and ought to be consumed with alertness. It produces couch lock in higher doses and sedation.

The outcome is a sweet mint flavor with a durable impact. What's more, users of this strain report a body high and euphoria. Animal Mints are likewise valuable for relieving stress, anxiety, and insomnia. Others utilize this strain for pain relief, muscle spasms, and depression.

[muhamedshop]

Muha Meds Disposable Vapes: A Convenient and Potent Cannabis Experience

Muha Meds Disposable Vapes have gained a reputation for offering a high-quality, convenient vaping experience that caters to both beginners and experienced cannabis users. Known for their sleek design, potent effects, and diverse strain options, these disposable vapes provide a hassle-free way to enjoy the benefits of cannabis on the go.

In this comprehensive article, we'll explore what makes Muha Meds Disposable Vapes stand out in the crowded market, including their features, available strains, and benefits. If you're looking for a smooth, flavorful, and effective vaping experience, these vapes are a top contender.

What Are Muha Meds Disposable Vapes?

Muha Meds is a brand that has become synonymous with premium cannabis vaping products. Their disposable vapes are designed to deliver a potent and flavorful cannabis experience in a compact and easy-to-use format. Unlike traditional vape pens, these disposables come pre-filled with cannabis oil and are ready to use right out of the box—no need for recharging or refilling.

Key Features of Muha Meds Disposable Vapes

Sleek, Portable Design: These vapes are designed for maximum convenience, making them ideal for discreet use or on-the-go vaping. The slim, lightweight design easily fits into your pocket or purse.

Pre-Filled and Ready to Use: Each disposable vape is pre-loaded with high-quality cannabis oil, eliminating the need for messy refills. Simply take it out of the box, and you're ready to enjoy.

No Charging Required: Since these vapes are disposable, there's no need to worry about charging. Once the oil is finished, simply dispose of the device responsibly.

Potent and Pure Cannabis Oil: Muha Meds is known for their potent cannabis extracts, made from carefully selected strains that offer rich flavors and powerful effects.

Available Strains: A Flavor for Every Mood

Muha Meds offers a wide variety of strains in their disposable vape line, ensuring that users can find the perfect match for their preferences. Whether you're looking for an uplifting sativa, a relaxing indica, or a balanced hybrid, Muha Meds has you covered.

Popular Strains from Muha Meds Disposable Vapes

Blueberry Haze Hybrid: A flavorful hybrid that blends sweet blueberry notes with a haze-like cerebral high. This strain offers a balanced experience, making it great for both relaxation and creative activities.

Super Sour Diesel Sativa: Known for its energizing effects, this sativa strain provides a strong, clear-headed high that's perfect for daytime use. The tangy, diesel-like flavor adds an extra kick to each puff.

Purple Punch Indica: If you're looking for relaxation and stress relief, the Purple Punch Indica is the way to go. Its sweet grape flavor and potent body high make it a favorite for winding down after a long day.

Apple Gelato ICE Hybrid: A well-balanced hybrid strain that combines fruity and creamy flavors with a smooth vaping experience. Its effects are uplifting yet relaxing, making it a great choice for any time of day.

Vanilla Cookies Hybrid: For those who enjoy dessert-like flavors, Vanilla Cookies is a sweet and smooth hybrid strain that offers a balanced high with calming effects.

The Benefits of Muha Meds Disposable Vapes

Convenience

One of the main draws of Muha Meds Disposable Vapes is their convenience. Whether you're new to vaping or a seasoned pro, these vapes are incredibly easy to use. There’s no need to worry about charging, maintaining, or refilling the device—just inhale and enjoy. Once the vape is empty, simply dispose of it and grab a new one. This makes it perfect for people who are always on the go.

Discreet and Portable

Another standout feature of Muha Meds Disposable Vapes is their discreet design. The slim profile of the vape makes it easy to carry around and use in a low-key manner. Whether you're at a social gathering, out in public, or just enjoying a solo session at home, these vapes allow for a smooth and subtle experience.

Potency and Quality

Muha Meds has built a reputation for using high-quality cannabis oil in their vapes. The company is committed to providing pure, potent products that deliver consistent effects with every puff. Whether you're looking for strong sativa effects to boost your energy or a relaxing indica to help you unwind, you can trust Muha Meds for a top-tier experience.

Wide Range of Flavors and Effects

Muha Meds offers a diverse selection of strains, allowing users to choose the perfect vape for their needs. Whether you're in the mood for a flavorful fruity strain like Strawberry Runtz Hybrid or a more pungent and earthy strain like Cali Gas OG Hybrid, you'll find a variety that suits your taste and desired effects.

How to Use Muha Meds Disposable Vapes

Using a Muha Meds Disposable Vape is incredibly simple. Since the device is pre-filled and ready to use, all you need to do is:

Take the vape out of the box: No setup is required.

Inhale through the mouthpiece: The device is activated automatically upon inhalation.

Enjoy your experience: Whether you're looking for a few puffs or a full session, Muha Meds vapes offer smooth and consistent hits.

Once the vape is empty, you'll notice a change in the flavor or vapor production. At that point, it’s time to dispose of the vape and pick up a new one.

Why Choose Muha Meds Disposable Vapes?

Choosing Muha Meds Disposable Vapes means opting for a premium vaping experience that combines convenience, flavor, and potency. Whether you're a seasoned cannabis user or just starting, these vapes are designed to meet your needs with minimal hassle. With a wide variety of strains, long-lasting battery life, and a smooth vaping experience, Muha Meds offers everything you need in a disposable vape.

For Beginners

If you're new to cannabis vaping, Muha Meds disposables are a great starting point. The ease of use and the variety of strain options make it simple to find a vape that suits your preferences.

For Experienced Users

For experienced users, Muha Meds Disposable Vapes provide a potent, high-quality cannabis experience in a convenient and portable package. Whether you're looking for a quick puff during the day or a relaxing session in the evening, these vapes deliver consistent and powerful effects.

[dankusner]

Texas Has Basically Legalized Marijuana. We Have the Proof.

The first thing I notice on entering the store is the smell.

It is an earthy sandalwood mixed with some type of citrus, perhaps sour lemon.

It tells me I am in the right place, because I am here to buy cannabis.

On my left sits a smoking lounge with four booths facing large windows that look out on an upscale South Austin shopping center.

To my right, behind a glass window, is a demonstration grow room—more for show than large-scale cultivation.

Straight ahead, on the back wall, a large lacquered-wood cabinet looks like something out of an old-fashioned drugstore.

Its shelves hold a cannabinoid cornucopia: cookies, gummies, tinctures, machine-rolled joints, and glass containers half-filled with tightly clumped plant buds.

Another customer enters and makes a beeline to the counter.

He orders a strain of cannabis called Blueberry Muffin.

The salesman, Nick, uses plastic tongs to fish out a few buds and places them on an electric scale.

As he does this, he sizes up my wide-eyed incredulity.

What he’s selling isn’t marijuana, he tells me.

It is hemp containing a chemical compound called THCa.

Lighting it on fire transforms the THCa into another compound, THC—delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, to be exact.

“It’s a little less potent than what you would find in California, but it still gets the job done,” Nick says. “Rest assured, everything in the store will get you high.”

The muffin man drops into the conversation.

Imagine if selling cookies were illegal, he says, but it were legal to sell cookie dough.

“You can just make the cookie yourself by heating it up.”

In this metaphor, THC-laden marijuana is the cookie, and THCa hemp is the cookie dough.

When you light the joint on fire, it becomes, for all intents and purposes, marijuana.

After muffin man leaves, I get down to business with Nick, who is wearing an expensive-looking long-sleeved dress shirt.

(I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had tried to sell me a pair of $150 jeans.)

We discuss the characteristics of various strains for sale, most of which have mouthwatering names such as Lemon Cherry Gelato.

I am overwhelmed by the choices, so Nick suggests Lemon Bomb, which is “pretty potent.”

But he has stronger options.

“This is unreal,” he says, reaching for a rectangular glass jar filled with what look like chalky nuggets of stone, identified by a handwritten label: White Wok.

“This is something that, like, I would recommend all customers try at least once. This is going to get you f—ed up.”

Is merely potent good enough, or do I want the neurons in my brain shaken like dice in a game of Boggle?

As I dither, Nick aims to close the sale.

“If you want to have a chill day, I would go with the Lemon Bomb. If you want to ruin your day,” his voice trails off, and he looks suggestively at White Wok.

Hemp prerolls at Green Haven Cannabis Co. in San Antonio.

Boggle it is.

I purchase two grams of White Wok for $40 with my credit card.

I thank Nick as he hands me a small plastic baggie reeking of a scent that transports me back to the winter of 1991, when I first set foot in an Amsterdam “coffeeshop.”

I exit into one of Texas’s most expensive neighborhoods, where teardown bungalows fetch $1 million.

Next door is an Alamo Drafthouse Cinema.

A few days earlier, a man named Nico Richardson had told me that Texas had become “the biggest unregulated drug market in the country.”

It was a stunning claim, and I wasn’t sure I believed him.

I doubted the conservatives who run Texas would allow that state of affairs, and I knew he had a vested financial interest in cracking down on these hemp shops.

Dressed in unwrinkled jeans and unscuffed white sneakers, the fortysomething Richardson looks the part of an Ivy League MBA, which he is.

He’s also the chief executive of Texas Original, one of three licensed medical marijuana dispensaries in the state.

His operation is regulated by Texas Department of Public Safety inspectors with the humorlessness of Soviet functionaries.

They don’t worry him.

What does are the thousands of licensed hemp dispensaries in the state that, he says, sell strains of cannabis that could lay low a three-hundred-pound rutting hog.

When Richardson claimed it was easy to purchase marijuana at these stores, I wondered if he was being hyperbolic.

Now all I had to do was send White Wok to a laboratory to see what I had bought.

I’ll cut to the chase. What I purchased, legally speaking, was marijuana.

Extremely potent marijuana.

The Farm Bill passed by Congress in 2018 says that if a cannabis plant is less than 0.3 percent delta-9 THC, it is hemp and not subject to the federal Controlled Substances Act.

Any THC in excess of that makes it marijuana.

Texas adopted these definitions into state law in 2019, making hemp legal in the state.

White Wok’s concentration of delta-9 THC tested at 1.48 percent, or nearly five times the legal limit.

This wasn’t just cookie dough.

It was a fully baked cookie.

And the delta-9 THC was just the tip of the psychoactive iceberg.

The strain also contained 48.3 percent THCa.

The hemp industry argues that according to the letter of the law, the THCa level doesn’t matter.

Any plant with less than 0.3 percent THC is hemp.

The U.S. Drug Enforcement Administration disagrees.

In May the federal agency clarified its position that THCa must also be under the 0.3 percent legal limit.

My White Wok contained 150 times that much.

“This is not a regular cannabis flower,” said Sarah Otis, director of quality assurance for Anresco Laboratories, in San Francisco, which Texas Monthly paid to assay the purchased samples.

Naturally occurring cannabis doesn’t approach those levels of THC, she said.

She suspected it was a bud genetically selected to produce high THC and then infused with hash oil—a cannabis extract—or additional THC.

Asked to describe its potency, she said, “The word I would use is ‘egregious.’ ”

Otis said that if this strain was being sold openly in Texas, it wasn’t being accurately tested.

There was no way a plant that tested at legal THC levels at a manufacturing facility could test weeks later at 1.48 percent.

And if the THC level isn’t being tested properly, she said, it’s difficult to trust that it has been tested for pesticides, heavy metals, or molds such as aspergillus.

I shared the test results with Paul Zain, who owns Greenbelt Botanicals, where I bought the White Wok.

“These things are going to happen,” he said. “I am disappointed.”

He told me that his suppliers provide paperwork showing that their flowers are hemp and therefore legal to sell.

Testing every product himself would cost too much.

“I have to take some people at their word,” he said.

The state can’t keep up either.

Timothy Stevenson, associate commissioner for consumer protection at the Texas Department of State Health Services, recently testified before a legislative hearing that the agency has four inspectors who visit the more than seven thousand registered hemp dispensaries.

They can inspect each one—from the Resler Smoke Shop, in northwest El Paso, to Puff ’N Stuff, on State Line Avenue in Texarkana, a twelve-hour drive away—once every five years.

DSHS has authority to test the products being sold, but “we don’t tend to invest a lot of state resources in that,” Stevenson said. Instead, to determine potency, the state relies on the certificates of analysis provided by manufacturers.

Texas Monthly purchased smokable cannabis at eight dispensaries, two each in Austin, Dallas, Houston, and San Antonio.

We bagged our purchases and sent them to Anresco for testing.

All eight samples came back with delta-9 THC levels in excess of legal limits.

Every one was marijuana.

The “house blend” joint we purchased at the Alamo Heights location of Green Haven Cannabis Co., which operates three stores in San Antonio, tested at 12.38 percent—more than 41 times the legal limit for delta-9 THC.

Patrick Brantley, the shop’s owner, said he buys joints, often called prerolls, from Oregon and relies on his suppliers for accurate testing.

“You are held captive to the [certificates of analysis] the companies provide,” he wrote in an email.

The cannabis we bought contained a lot of THC.

Testing labs, including Anresco, provide a “total THC” figure as a gauge of overall potency.

By this measure, the clear winner was the White Wok, at 43.9 percent, enough to neutralize a half-ton bull alligator.

Other samples also delivered staggering amounts of psychoactive ingredients.

The preroll suggested by a friendly clerk with a nose piercing at Grinders Coffee Bar, a dispensary near Houston’s affluent West University Place, registered at 26 percent THC.

(A study of the potency of marijuana confiscated by the DEA in the eighties found that delta-9 THC levels were around 3 percent.)

The strain with the least kick, though a still-impressive 9 percent total THC, was a sold by an upscale East Dallas shop that hosts weekly dinners at which, a staffer explained, “only the sauces are infused, so that you have control and can dose yourself.”

All of our samples were “extremely” potent, said Matthew Rossheim, an associate professor in the School of Public Health at the University of North Texas Health Science Center, in Fort Worth.

He has written several scientific papers studying what is being sold at hemp dispensaries in the state, and he is concerned about Texans buying cannabis that’s been manipulated in ways that may not prove safe.

“We won’t know the health effects of these for years and years to come,” he said. “People don’t even realize what all they’re putting in their bodies. So how will we be able to figure out which stuff is most harmful and poisonous? It’s just a mess.”

Anresco and several other laboratories ran a nationwide test in January and reached a conclusion similar to Texas Monthly’s findings.

The study tested 29 samples from prerolls and loose flower, all of which were sold with certificates indicating their THC was under 0.3 percent.

Nineteen had levels above the limit. Factoring in the THCa, 25 were marijuana.

When Nico Richardson told me how easy it was to buy marijuana in Texas, I had wondered if he was getting high on his own supply.

But our testing suggests he was absolutely correct.

“Let’s be honest and call it what it is,” he said. “Most of the hemp dispensaries out there, knowingly or unknowingly, are selling illegal federal marijuana.”

And they can do it because these stores operate at the crossroads of poorly written laws, wily chemists brewing up potent new strains, and an understaffed, underfinanced, and handcuffed state regulatory body.

Recreational use of cannabis became commonplace in Mexico starting in the 1880s.

In the United States at the time, the intoxicants of choice were cocaine, morphine, and opium, all of which were unregulated until the early years of the twentieth century.

But marijuana did cross the border—including in the rucksacks of Pancho Villa’s revolutionary army—and was sold as far north as San Antonio.

In 1915, El Paso became the first city in Texas to enact an ordinance prohibiting the sale and possession of cannabis, claiming that smoking it led to violent behavior.

Some historians argue that movements to outlaw certain drugs share nativist and anti-immigrant impulses with the temperance movement, which led to a national ban on alcohol in 1920.

The year prior, the Texas Legislature had enacted a prohibition on the transfer of marijuana from one person to another; in 1923 it banned possession with the intent to sell.

In discussing the bill, a newspaper in Austin felt compelled to educate its readers that “marihuana is a Mexican herb.”

Practically every state west of the Mississippi had similar laws on its books by 1933.

Texas made marijuana possession a felony, a situation that remained until 1973, when the state became the second to last to reduce the crime to a misdemeanor.

According to a Texas Monthly article, the impetus for the change was that “too many of the wrong kids were being arrested.”

When kids from the wealthy Dallas enclave of Highland Park were charged with felonies, the issue became a legislative problem that needed to be solved.

In 1996 California was the first state to legalize marijuana for medicinal use.

Others soon followed. Colorado and Washington became the first to approve recreational use, in 2012, followed by Alaska and Oregon, in 2014.

At last count, 24 states—plus the District of Columbia—had joined the green wave.

They have implemented testing regimes to ferret out the sort of contaminants that may be going undetected in strains of hemp sold in Texas.

Possession of less than two ounces of marijuana remains a misdemeanor in our state that can result in as many as 180 days in jail, although some cities and local prosecutors have said they won’t bring charges.

But Texas has opened the door to medical marijuana.

In 2015 the state created the Compassionate Use Program for Texans with severe epilepsy.

There are only three licensed medical marijuana dispensaries, and each can operate a single growing facility.

They must test their crops monthly and share the results with the Department of Public Safety, not the Department of State Health Services, which oversees hemp stores.

Nico Richardson’s Texas Original is the largest of the medical dispensaries.

Its client base mushroomed after Texas expanded the program, in 2019, to allow marijuana for the treatment of terminal cancer and multiple sclerosis, along with a handful of other conditions.

Two years later, the program was opened further to those diagnosed with any cancer, as well as patients with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Texas Original grew alongside the program, adding customers and increasing revenue, Richardson said, until about 2023.

He blames the proliferation of hemp dispensaries for this setback.

During the first couple of years after Texas legalized hemp, shops such as those we tested were mostly selling an extract called cannabidiol, or CBD.

It doesn’t get users high, but it provides a pleasant sensation.

Under a wellness banner, stores began selling gummies and tinctures to help with relaxation and sleep.

Chemists and botanists in the hemp industry soon discovered that they could extract psychoactive compounds from hemp, such as THCa, thus skirting federal and state laws focused on delta-9 THC levels.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, hemp stores began to sell products with high levels of delta-8 THC, a compound similar to delta-9 THC but not addressed explicitly in state or federal law.

Eventually the focus shifted to THCa.

With products that looked, smelled, and acted like marijuana, hemp dispensary sales increased.

Still, the industry feared the state would soon enact new regulations.

But a 2021 bill seeking to regulate delta-8 levels died in a legislative committee, and later that year, a new state health department rule that would have prohibited such hemp-derived cannabis strains was successfully challenged in court.

(That case is pending before the Texas Supreme Court.)

After the 2023 session also ended without legislative action, Texas’s hemp industry exploded.

Dispensary owners are confident they’re on the right side of the law.

“Just like anything in Texas around cannabis, we have to kind of interpret the law, you know, for ourselves and talking to lawyers and stuff,” said Todd Harris, the co-owner of Happy Cactus Apothecary, a dispensary with two stores in Austin.

Texas Monthly purchased two joints from its location across the street from a high school in South Austin.

They were 23.2 percent THCa and also 1.78 percent delta-9 THC.

“After doing our due diligence,” Harris told me, “we do feel comfortable and confident that THCa is legal in Texas, and THCa is the same thing as the marijuana that you get in Colorado and California.”

If you’re confused by this hazy cloud of legality surrounding cannabis, you aren’t alone.

At a recent legislative hearing, state senator José Menéndez, a San Antonio Democrat, reflected on the spread of legal hemp stores selling products chemically similar to marijuana.

“In a way, inadvertently, we passed a law that sort of legalized the use of cannabis in the state of Texas,” he said.

A couple of minutes later, Senator Charles Perry, a Republican from Lubbock, responded.

He had sponsored the 2019 bill legalizing hemp because he wanted to help farmers in his mostly rural district by offering them access to a new potential cash crop.

“To be clear, Texas did not legalize pot—knowingly or unknowingly,” he said. “This started out as a federal farm bill for the benefit of agriculture, and it has been bastardized as we were fearful it could be. It is time to fix it.”

It is widely anticipated that Perry or another senator will file applicable legislation for the 2025 session, but it isn’t clear whether such a bill will attempt to stamp out the new hemp industry or envelop it in new regulations.

Of course, all of the legal wrangling over levels of delta-8 and THCa is a little beside the point.

All eight samples that Texas Monthly purchased and tested exceeded the 0.3 percent delta-9 THC level that defines illegal marijuana.

We didn’t buy them from dealers in apartments with closed blinds.

We bought them in licensed stores with plenty of natural light, moody music, and tactful displays.

“They have jammed open a loophole, and they are operating miles outside the intent of both federal law and state law,” Richardson told me. “It’s a nationwide problem. But the biggest market in the nation now, where all this product is being sold into, is Texas.”

Richardson says a surfeit of readily available unregulated marijuana posing as hemp is eating away at his business.

He grows all of his cannabis in South Austin, and his employees have to drive doses all over the state.

DPS sometimes springs surprise testing on top of its routine monthly inspections.

Richardson can’t sell any cannabis product that registers more than 1 percent delta-9 THC.

And his customers require medical prescriptions.

Meanwhile, hemp dispensaries can sell significantly more-potent cannabis at lower prices, from stores conveniently located in 238 of the state’s 254 counties.

Unless changes are made, it is likely that the Texas medical program will cease to function, Richardson said. “It is not an economic program for the operators.”

The pro-hemp crowd talks a lot about the economic benefits the new industry provides: the thousands of commercial leases and billions of dollars in payroll.

Texas could join the nearly half of states that have legalized recreational marijuana.

This would allow for increased tax revenues and improved oversight of the safety of cannabis products, much as with alcohol and tobacco.

But so far, the Legislature hasn’t shown much inclination to head down that path.

Opponents of legalization argue that what they call “intoxicating hemp” is dangerous and out of control.

“We can’t continue to put business interests over the lives of our youth and communities,” said Nicole Holt, the CEO of Texans for Safe and Drug-Free Youth. “We want to ban all cannabis and cannabis-derived products.”

The flourishing hemp industry is preparing to fight in the courts and the Legislature to keep its smoke-blowing golden goose happy and healthy.

Marco Krause, who runs an online hemp store, recently told state senators in a hearing that “whether it was the intent of the Legislature or not, you legalized it.”

Now, he said, it’s time to pass rules to require better testing and age limits.

(There is no law preventing the sale of hemp to minors.)

“The cat is out of the bag. We all want to work with you to regulate this.”

Paul Zain, co-owner of Greenbelt Botanicals, where I bought White Wok, says Texas has gone too far to turn around. “It does feel like we legalized marijuana,” he said, adding that the response shouldn’t be to destroy a billion-dollar industry.

“Would you rather people be buying a product from a regulated Texas market or buying on the black market?”

As the situation stands now, is there even a difference?

New York City’s new luxury cannabis stores are works of high art

If it wasn’t for the six-foot-tall sculpture of an immaculately rolled joint in the foyer of the Union Square outpost of Travel Agency, you might not know that you’re entering a cannabis store.

The space, designed by the architecture firm Leong Leong, belongs in the same family as New York City’s retail temples—the Khaites, Kiths, and Aesops of the world that demonstrate how good retail is about a lot more than a transaction.

With its egg-shaped Space Age sign hanging from the contoured ceiling, soft lighting, and long white counter, it’s like Saarinen’s TWA terminal meets a James Turrell sculpture.

Travel Agency is one of the few actually stylish licensed dispensaries in New York City.

Since opening in February 2023, the brand—which is a partnership between founders Arana Hankin-Biggers and Paul Yau and the Doe Fund—has expanded to three locations this year.

Each of them is minimalist and has a subtle travel theme.

The second, on a prime block of Fifth Avenue, was based on a European train hall and features dove gray limewash walls and a silver palm tree in the window; the third, in Downtown Brooklyn, has the vaulted ceilings and white tile found throughout the city’s subway stations.

“The big idea is how do you create a sanctuary or a portal to a new destination,” says Christopher Leong, the architect who led the store designs.

When New York State announced the legalization of recreational cannabis in March 2021, entrepreneurs—especially ones that didn’t bother to apply for licenses—quickly opened for business.

In New York City, this first took the form of Shamrock-green Uncle Budd and cartoon-wrapped Weed World trucks parked on street corners across the five boroughs.

Soon, weed bodegas done up by graffiti artists became a kind of local vernacular, with stoned Adult Swim characters acting as visual shorthand for the products sold inside.

Slowly, licensed dispensaries have come online.

But a year and a half since the first one opened, the retail landscape for legal weed has been uneven, sluggish, and underwhelming.

To date, there are only 132 licensed cannabis stores across New York State, around 60 of which are in New York City.

Most dispensaries, licensed or not, have about as much charm as Metro PCS store.

Some critics have said the state botched the rollout, citing unfulfilled social equity promises to deliver turnkey shops to license holders with marijuana convictions and a failure to enforce the booming illicit market.

Business is fiercely competitive and some license holders are turning to high design to stand out.

To Hankin-Biggers, who has a background in real estate development, design is a big reason why her brand has been able to grow so quickly.

“Because of the 3,000 illicit shops, we really wanted to stand out in a meaningful way,” she says. “There’s a lot of product out there, so why would you go to Travel Agency? We thought, why not make a dispensary fun and sexy and interesting. It’s not too stuffy—elevated but not elitist.”

What dispensaries can and can’t do

Because of the state’s restrictions on cannabis retail and marketing, there are quite a few design constraints on dispensaries.

Among them: cannabis products can’t be visible from the street; storefront signage can only say the shop’s name and that it’s a dispensary; no neon colors, bubble fonts, and all products containing marijuana have to be locked from customers.

There can’t be anything sold that imitates food or candy.

Meanwhile, dispensary names and concepts can’t riff on drug stores, apothecaries, doctor’s offices, or anything that would be appealing to someone under 21.

Travel Agency’s spaces are thought of as experiential, multisensory art installations.

The sculptures in the foyers, which change periodically, solve the problem of having no cannabis visible from the street while still having a welcoming storefront.

(Plus they’re a nice place to wait for your ID to be checked, another requirement for dispensaries.)

There’s a fragrance wall in the back that lets curious shoppers smell the natural essential oils in cannabis and realistic-looking paper sculptures of plants held in two-foot-tall, bell-jar-like vitrines.

Leong Leong designed cases that feel almost like jewelry store displays to meet the lock-and-key rules while also making the products, which are all small, appear elegant.

“All these security measures became design devices we embraced,” Leong says.

The color palette is muted because the packaging—Travel Agency carries 350 products from 60 to 70 brands—is visually cacophonous.

“It’s almost more like a museum than a shoppable retail store,” says Hannah Frossard, a senior designer at Leong Leong, (Incidentally, the architecture firm was designing the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute’s Sleeping Beauties exhibition at the same time as Travel Agency and there are aesthetic and functional similarities between them.)

Frossard notes that there is very high foot traffic during peak hours, like a museum, and designing for quick trips was another challenge.

Customers can peruse the shelves and chat with budtenders about the products on view, but they make their purchases on one of a dozen iPads throughout the stores, then head to a counter to pick up what they bought.

In that way, the space also had to function like a fast casual restaurant, Frossard adds.

The rise of the high-end cannabis store

Gotham, a licensed retailer that opened in the East Village in May 2023, is another high-end shop that went the conceptual route.

Geraldine Hessler, the vice president of marketing at Gotham, describes the space as “accessible luxury.” The warm, modern shop is informed by New York City’s art, fashion, and culture scenes. It sells home goods in the area up front, has a gallery upstairs, and keeps its products in custom-designed cases that also resemble what you’d find in jewelry stores. “We did not want a sterile space that felt transactional, so we created a space that invited people to linger, ask questions, and learn,” Hessler says. “Customers often say they want to live in Gotham because they feel at home and we could not ask for a better compliment.” Because it’s still early days in legal weed, dispensaries who have the budgets for architects are trying to appeal to as many customers as possible through lifestyle boutique approaches. But a high-concept space isn’t synonymous with a good customer experience, particularly for people who are more experienced, says Aaron Ghitelman, a former deputy communications director for the New York State Office of Cannabis Management.

He visited one of them (and declined to say which) but noted that the music from an event happening inside was so loud that he left before buying anything. “

It’s like, okay, so you have this more-than-a-million-dollar build-out that I’m sure you put a lot of thought into, but I never went back into that store,” Ghitelman says. “

I want to be able to have conversations with budtenders and other customers, and I want to be able to get in and out.”

Of the conceptual spaces Ghitelman has visited he notes that Dagmar, a dispensary in SoHo with a goth Art Deco vibe, “went for it in a way that doesn’t take away from the cannabis purchasing experience,” he says.

But the dispensary he likes the most is Terp Bros, a small, no-fuss shop on Ditmars Avenue in Astoria with a lot of products. “

They figured out what a neighborhood dispensary, not a flagship, looks like,” Ghitelman says.

In places where recreational use has been legal for a while—like California, Colorado, and Canada—there’s a wealth of ambitious retail. In a few years, perhaps New York might be among them.

“It’s an exciting time and I think folks are figuring out what works and what doesn’t work,” Ghitelman says.

“I think we will see more maturation—and hopefully not homogenization—of aesthetics.”

Black-, gay-owned weed businesses gain traction

More overcome obstacles to open and expand in Illinois

The self-described Black-, Latino-, veteran- and queer-owned SWAY dispensary is in the Lakeview neighborhood.

The dispensary is a collaboration between José “Pepe” Peña, from left, Edie Moore and Art Johnston. E. Jason Wambsgans/Chicago Tribune

After years of struggling to get off the ground, several Black-owned cannabis businesses recently have opened or expanded in Illinois, bucking the trend of companies that haven’t been able to acquire financing to get going.

One of the recent openings is the self-described Black-, Latino-, veteran- and queer-owned SWAY dispensary in the Lakeview neighborhood.

The retail store is a collaboration between cannabis equity advocate and Army veteran Edie Moore, and LGBTQ rights and local business leaders Art Johnston and José “Pepe” Peña — both now 80.

“It’s a long time coming,” Moore said. “Financing is always a big challenge. It’s very expensive to do one of these facilities. Zoning (in Chicago) is a bear, and expensive.”

Access to marijuana was an important issue in the gay rights movement, especially in the 1980s, because so many members of the community were suffering from AIDS or cancer.

“After all of these years of prohibition,” Johnston said, “it will be an honor to provide safe access to cannabis for our community and beyond.”

Johnson and Peña also are co-owners of Sidetracks, a popular gay bar since the 1980s, across the street from SWAY.

Statewide, there are 213 recreational or “adult use” dispensaries, almost half of which are social equity dispensaries, generally defined as those owned by people with prior low-level cannabis convictions, or who come from areas of high cannabis arrest rates or high poverty.

Another 100 or so conditionally licensed companies are working toward opening.

In May, state officials announced they were awarding an additional 48 new conditional licenses.

The openings come as many of those companies face difficulties meeting a July 11 deadline to open.

The state will grant further extensions based on need.

At SWAY, its opening brings to fruition a goal that Peña proposed decades ago, never thinking it would come true: “Wouldn’t it be great to sell weed instead of alcohol?”

“The response from the community has been overwhelming,” co-owner Kevin Hauswirth said.

SWAY recently launched its own brand of cannabis, with plans to open a second dispensary on the South Side.

Since opening in April, the store has already signed up thousands of loyalty customers, and it draws a diverse set of clients, including tourists and Cubs fans.

It’s also partnered with the Brave Space Alliance, a Black- and trans-led LGBTQ center on the South Side.

At the same time, a spinoff of the largest Black-owned cannabis company in the United States is expanding into Chicago.

Former NBA star Al Harrington and Chicagoan Dan Pettigrew formed Viola Brands in 2011 in Colorado.

It was named after Harrington’s grandmother, Viola, who suffered from diabetes and glaucoma.

As Harrington tells it, she tried cannabis and cried tears of relief when she was able to again read her Bible.

“It completely changed the way I felt about cannabis,” Harrington said.

Pettigrew and business partner Al Lomax expanded to Illinois, and last year opened their first dispensary under the name Viola Chi in west suburban Broadview.

This month, they opened their second store, under the name Village, in Chicago’s Lincoln Park neighborhood, which celebrated with a block party recently.

The business owners are still in litigation, trying to get a craft cultivation license.

“It is unbelievably challenging,” Pettigrew said. “Now, we’re pivoting to increase our footprint in Illinois.”

The founders hope to add three more dispensaries in the state, by partnering with local startups.

They say they’re not looking to buy anyone out, just to leverage their infrastructure to help social equity companies.

Similarly, Galaxy Labs is looking to expand.

The company opened a craft grow and dispensary in Richton Park.

Recently, it became the first craft grower to receive state permission to expand from 5,000 square feet to the maximum allowed 14,000 square feet.

It’s still a fraction of the 210,000 square feet that the original medical weed growers are allowed in Illinois, but it will help enable financing and greater profits.

The company also operates a dispensary next door.

Owners Michelle and Rick Ringold opened their cultivation warehouse about a year ago, with plans to expand all along, so the infrastructure they already built will save on future costs.

Galaxy turned down multimillion dollar offers to sell its craft grow license.

“For us, this venture is about creating jobs and economic opportunities,” Michelle Ringold said.

“It is our way of giving back to those communities affected the most by the war on drugs, and not simply to make a dollar for ourselves.”

[stonedcoast]

420 All Month: Mountain Wizard

420 All Month! Today is Mountain Wizard.

SativaModerately High THC (22% – 26%)Flower Mountain Wizard was the first strain (that I’m aware of, at least) for whom I was familiar with both of its parent strains, where all three were not famous, popular, or common already. I’ve had plenty of strains with the likes of Sour Diesel, OG Kush, Girl Scout Cookies, GG4, Wedding Cake, Grand Daddy Purple, Blueberry, Haze, Skunk, and so forth as…