#bold creative and completely necessary to the plot

[carrymelikeimcute]

There was a point in the writing stage of s1 of ofmd where someone said 'what if izzy was 90% nude in slutty black undies when he gets his toe cut off, and we do like a full body pan?'

and I nominate that person for sainthood.

[squeeneyart]

Breathe in the Salt - Chapter 20

AO3

Beta reader as always is @thesnadger!

Simon and Martin have a chat.

Martin accepts some advice.

When Martin passed the front gate the world behind him disappeared, replaced by cold, grey mist and stone.

Staring back the way he came only made it harder to remember what had been before, and his head felt the pressure of distance with no point of reference. Something deep inside him knew the perils of walking anywhere but the path leading him to the Fairchild house; to step anywhere else would see him tumbling out and away from the only landmark he had left.

Waiting for him at the front door was the woman who’d taken the sketchbook from him, this time without the veneer of professional courtesy. The hooded jumper, worn jeans, and disinterested wave announced to the world an interrupted day off. If his damp, miserable self was an affront to her sensibilities, she wasn’t showing it, so the wet jacket stayed on.

In his nerves he hadn’t really registered her appearance during their first meeting, too focused on getting rid of the evidence of his crime. She was older, maybe in her 60s, with long grey hair tied back into a low ponytail. He hadn’t seen her about town before, had he?

They walked inside without any chitchat, so Martin glanced about in silence. The interior felt right if his memory served, the same skinny halls and windows stretching from floor to ceiling. The most striking aspect still was the mural at the top of the central staircase. The rest of the house was dwarfed by it, as if the grand building was no greater than his hometown’s silhouette tucked into the corner of the canvas. 

Approaching it, the colors were more. More intense, more bold, all the brightness stolen from the world outside siphoned into an impossible sky. Maybe anything would look that much more  when contrasted with where he’d been. He was at the top of the stairs standing at its center wondering if there was any distance that could give him a proper view of the whole. 

From behind him the woman cleared her throat, though she didn’t seem irritated. He pulled himself away from the spot where he’d stopped to stare, leaving slippery footprints in his wake.

Glancing up at the mural, she only said, “Some things demand attention.”

She led him to the same room from his first visit with its outward wall of glass. Across the room sat Simon, his back facing those large, unbelievably clear windows that now overlooked the fog-covered landscape. Martin heard the woman’s retreating footsteps and the click of the door.

Martin breathed out, keeping a few feet between himself and the old man. He waved stiffly at the windows. “It’s a bit late. I was expecting this to happen last week.”

With that pleasant smile unmoving, Simon motioned for Martin to sit in the chair across from him. “Don’t be ridiculous. That event will be much more exciting. I wanted to put this meeting together, and needed a good mix of quick and fun.”

“Starting to question my understanding of ‘fun’,” Martin mumbled. He took the seat offered to him and crossed his arms over his chest, the rainwater he carried in seeping into the plush fabric. “It seems like I’m always on the losing side of someone else’s.”

“Yes, yes, of course,” Simon hummed, leaning back comfortably in his chair. “So you’d prefer something more exciting in your invitations, so you’re not left out? Did my little errand turn you into a thrill-seeker already?”

“No.” A shiver ran through him, not of fear but of an awful, biting cold. The wet of his hair sapped the heat right out of him and pulled his ponytail down heavy onto his neck. “What do you want?”

“Oh, a bit moody today, aren’t we?” The smile was still sitting idly on Simon’s face. “Peter’s been around more often, I can tell. He does that to people, sucks all patience and goodwill out until they’re… well.” He flicked his eyes over Martin with something like pity.

Martin pressed his arms tighter into himself. “So what, you push people into the sky, and he does that?”

Simon laughed without a hint of shame. “Goodness, no. Peter is just like that, no strangeness needed. I’ve often left his company feeling completely drained and irritable, though I’ve found ways to ensure the feeling is mutual.”

“Good friends, then.”

“As much as he can have them.” Simon leaned forward, no hint of bitterness in his voice or expression. “A very close-to-the-chest type, I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

With a sharp exhale, Martin said, “Look, if you’re going to ask me for a favor I’m not-”

“Now, now, I’m not one to drag on a favor forever, and you’ve paid in full. Besides, Peter is much too jumpy right now for anything to be done.” Simon turned his gaze toward the window. “I’m afraid all any of us can do now is wait.” 

A jolt of disappointment shocked Martin to silence. All of this dramatic nonsense just to be told to wait and see? He hadn’t had any specific expectations, but deep down he’d believed Simon to be plotting something soon. That even if it was a horrible outcome Martin wouldn’t be left in suspense from every angle of his life. 

Whatever shoe was meant to drop, it hadn’t, and it wouldn’t for some unspecified amount of time.

Simon regained his easy tone and continued, “And I greatly dislike this weather, all of these things clouding my view. Soon I’ll be going weeks without a clear day, and it can feel so… so claustrophobic. So little to work with on a day like this.”

He wasn’t the one who needed to walk in it. “You’re not going to explain anything, are you?”

“No, I’m not. You know how these things are. Business.” Reaching into his pocket, Simon pulled out a small envelope. “Speaking of, like a pouting child Peter has been avoiding me, and as far as I can tell you’re the only person who actually sees him.”

With a deep sigh Martin leaned forward, elbows resting on knees. Not only was he getting nothing out of Simon, but- “This is all so I can be a messenger boy?”

“Just the one time, if Peter can be reasonable.”

“I don’t- Wait. Why not trap him like you did me? Just force him to your door.”

With a sudden laugh that made Martin jump, Simon replied, “Not everyone is as easy to find as you. And anyway, it’s not wise to do that to friends, is it?” 

It wasn’t a way to keep friends, no, and he took the message from Simon without further comment. On the other side of the room, the door opened to reveal that woman. Not needing prompting he stood, looking back one more time at the other man.

Simon remained seated and swung one more friendly smile in Martin’s direction. “You’ll be seen out, then. I must thank you for your previous help, Martin. The personal significance alone can’t be overstated. It’s not my only sketchbook, of course, but several of my best works had their beginnings in it.” Was that glint in his eye one of creative pride, or was there some joke Martin was missing?

The tiniest desire to stay and hear more itched at the back of his mind, but the dismissal was clear and he let the woman lead him back through the house. Once outside he saw the weather had taken a turn for the worse into a complete downpour. The high wind would certainly blow his hood down, making for a wretched walk ahead of him.

“Ah.” He’d been taken to the Fairchild house on an impossible route, but the way home was entirely real. “I have a long way to walk.”

“Inconveniences all around,” the woman said, shutting the door behind him.

Once he was alone he ripped the phone from his pocket and and bent over it to delete his dramatic messages before they could be seen, replacing it with:

Martin: talked with simon (didnt really have a choice), dont think anything will happen with him for a while

Martin: said all we can do is wait? really cryptic

Then he pocketed it once more and walked out the front gate into the reinstated town.

The greatest relief was finding other unlucky pedestrians doing their best to stay dry along with him. Even without the ability to stop and talk he felt the silent commiseration. It wasn’t joy in the suffering of others but rather the knowledge that other people were there at all to share in the cruddy weather. He could see where a person ahead of him was avoiding puddles, and found residual warmth in the lights of nearby shop fronts. It was the kind of melancholy atmosphere that could make rain a little more bearable.

The walk down the cliff however was designed to kill him, the slope slick with mud and abandoned by an early setting sun. No waterproof phone, glasses blurred and splattered with droplets, Martin made his slow way home in the cold, in the dark. More than once he stopped to make sure he hadn’t gotten turned around by forces supernatural or otherwise, but then the ground flattened and he could finally hear the sea over the rain beating against the ground.

He was late of course, but besides some comments about tracking water into the house and forgetting his umbrella his mother had left him well alone, and even took his word when he described the weather as unsuitable for her health. He was grateful. After the last few days anything worse might’ve sent them into a screaming match to surpass any bouts they’d had in years. Maybe the day had taken as much out of her as it had from him.

Instead, after a necessary change of clothes on his part, they ate dinner and watched television, her in her chair and him on the couch. It was some old game show he vaguely remembered, not something that aired in his childhood but that he’d experienced first as reruns, the saturated colors and fuzzy image granting it a multilayered nostalgia. Someone on the screen had just answered a question and was hoping their spouse would come up with the same response.

In his pyjama pants and old t-shirt he felt little, his feet tucked under him because he hadn’t wanted to waste another pair of socks. It was as if he’d just come out of the bath with his wet hair and drooping eyes and was waiting to be told he was up too late. As if he wasn’t responsible for watching the clock himself.

His phone vibrated in the middle of the program, but if his mother noticed she chose to ignore it. Tapping the phone awake, Martin saw a notification from the group message.

Tim: ok check-in time what the hell 

Tim: just saw this 

So they hadn’t seen his initial messages. He breathed out in relief and typed out a reply.

Martin: some weird stuff, but everythings fine. simon made it so i had to go talk to him

Martin: whatever simon mentioned before its not coming yet. seems like he isnt in control of when whatever it is happens? also peter is avoiding him so i need to give him this letter

Tim: weird but

Tim: good? more time for us

Sasha: one less thing to worry about. glad it went okay.

Tim: ^^

He’d successfully avoided any panic or weirdness that his original messages most definitely would’ve caused and patted himself on the back for a job well done. No one needed that as a distraction.

Martin: oh right weird topic change but jon mentioned it, do you really all use a cot at work

Tim: oh yeah lol love that thing

Tim: jon is on it right now actually will pass on simon info when hes awake

Martin: youre all still there??

Tim: oh martin dont you know weve Never Left

Tim: we should get going soon tho now that you mention, will drag jon out of the archives while passing on simon info

Martin: good idea

Tim: and keep those eyes down!

Martin bit his cheek and looked past his phone at the television screen. No doubt it was karma for his rash behavior at the lighthouse, having “just wait!” shouted at him from all corners. The universe was making itself very clear. Simon could’ve just been telling him to let something terrible happen, but even if that was true Martin wasn’t in a place to stop anything.

But it was a great quality of Tim’s, rounding them all up and trying to save them from regrettable decisions. The least Martin could do was make that job easier and stay out of trouble. It was also the most he could do, as much as it irked him.

Martin: dont need to tell me twice! 

And with that Martin pocketed his phone, accepting his fate of inaction.

When he finally put his mother to bed the goodnight between them was not warm, but it was closer to normal. If he’d been told that one of the most pleasant parts of his day would’ve been watching the telly after dinner with his mum, he would’ve… well, it wasn’t that strange. Really it emphasized how bad the rest of his day had been.

Meanwhile the most pleasant event felt fake, even when he checked his call logs to confirm it. What a strange start to a day, he thought as he laid in bed. At least it made up for Jon not being around that evening, that and knowing Jon was getting some sleep. The man clearly needed some prompting during an intense work period to take care of himself, and Martin silently thanked Tim for doing something about it when he couldn’t bring himself to initiate a phone conversation. He knew it was ridiculous for him to be so nervous about the idea, but…

But.

Hopefully Jon didn’t think he was rude. It was one thing to chat in person, but calling without a specific topic to discuss while the others were hard at work? Because he was bored? Best to let Jon reach out when he felt it necessary, even if it meant being woken up at odd hours on a work day and otherwise sitting on his hands. Eventually this would all be behind them and he could stop being racked with guilt over the thought of making a social call. 

Martin’s stomach twisted. Yes, things would be dealt with, and he would move on from this strange period in his life.

He moved to place the phone down for the night when it buzzed in his hand, with a message in another, private chat.

Sasha: we should talk more later about what simon told you specifically. if something big is coming having someone on the inside of things might not be the worst. not saying you should seek him out, he seems perfectly of capable of contacting you, but if it happens again it could be an opportunity

Martin: you think he could be on our side?

Sasha: i think letting people say their piece can lead to understanding, even if the other person is the worst. something is going on between him and peter lukas and the more we know the better

Martin: right…

Sasha: again not saying to run into anything. wait for us etc etc but trust your gut

Martin: so your opinion on staying put?

Sasha: sometimes you cant, thats all im saying

Martin: okay, i think i get it

Sasha: good. now get some sleep, weird things tend to drain you

Martin: goodnight

Sasha: night

Well, she wasn’t wrong. He didn’t believe that Simon was a good person, not with how he’d treated Martin thus far, but that didn’t make him evil, either. And his advice was the same as what everyone else had already been saying: stay out of trouble as best he could and wait for the right moment. Even Sasha still conceded to it being the best option for the present. If Peter told him to wait as well, then Martin would be truly lost on what to do, but until then he would follow the advice of all the people who knew more than he did.

And if Simon called him to his home again, he would try to be less… difficult. And he would buy a better jacket, just in case. 

--

The next morning, he listened to a voice message left shortly after he’d fallen into a blissfully dreamless sleep.

Jon’s groggy voice drifted from the mobile. “Hi, sorry I missed things. Wasn’t expecting Fairchild to be so forward, and my sleep schedule has never been- anyway, Tim convinced me to go back to my flat, but since I slept at the institute earlier I’m currently following a few threads to see if they lead anywhere helpful. I think I’ve reached something, but time will tell.”

He continued after a brief pause. “Seems you’re already asleep, as you should be, so I’ll let you go. Let me know if you have any questions about our other… shared interest. Good night. I hope things stay quiet.” 

[softtofustew]

an odyssey | afterword

rating: T

pairing: Hwang Hyunjin/Han Jisung

summary: Somewhere in the galaxy of the Stella Primum, Lieutenant Han is the best fighter on his team, a real ace shooter, with five gold stars to show. Too bad Second Lieutenant Hwang is not only great at battling the Ordinem, he’s also got disgustingly perfect looks to match, and now Jisung’s stuck in the same spaceship with him for possibly the most impossible task of their lives. Or the one where a rivalry is brewed across the skies and stars, until Jisung realises what there is to flying beside Hyunjin on a mission to save the galaxy.

if you haven’t read it yet, read here.

this is an afterword to ‘an odyssey’, where i write about the origin of the story, the characters, and my struggles of writing :’)

(i) The Origin

I’ve had this work in my WIPs since, believe it or not, January of this year. I’ve had this idea for so, so long. I wrote it intermittently throughout this year, with a scene or two in September, then October. 

Due to my exams, though, I couldn’t write as much as I wanted to. That’s why I only really started writing ‘an odyssey’ back in mid-November. The good thing was that I had more time to plan this out, because frankly, this is perhaps the heaviest fic I’ve written in terms of plot so far. 

I can’t for the life of me remember where this story idea planted itself in my head. All I knew was that I like space AUs, I adore Hyunjin and Jisung’s friendship, and I love enemies to lovers. Realising there weren’t any fics out there that combined the three, I knew it was my time to shine. Or something. 

(ii) The Plot

The plot was the trickiest to pull off. I’ve written an urban fantasy here and there, but I’m pretty sure if I reread them thoroughly, I’m bound to find a couple of plot holes. 

There were a lot of elements to cover: the Prophecy. The five gems. The push-pull relationship between Jisung and Hyunjin. The journey to discovering the whereabouts of the last Gemma. The last boss fight with a Governor who could wield the Force. There was!!!! So!!!! Much!!!! Going!!!! On!!!!!

Perhaps if I reread ‘an odyssey’, I might find another plot hole or two; who knows? For now, though, I feel quite contented with this work of mine. Considering it’s my first time writing something as long as this (50K+ are you kidding me?), I feel this is a first step for me to continue expanding my horizons when it comes to writing, to continue to challenge myself to write something different, something bold. Something new.

(iii) The Characters

I rewatched the Two Kids Room and One Kid Room episodes so many times, over and over again. There’s a reason why this story is centred around Jisung and Hyunjin, and why it’s written from Jisung’s perspective.

Their relationship is, after all, something coherently interesting. They really said “enemies to friends but make it irl”. I guess I took that concept and sort of exaggerated the extent of their ‘hate’ for each other, which isn’t exactly hate to begin with. The further you read on, the more you’ll realise that they don’t exactly hate each other — they just got off on the wrong footing, and have never tried turning back to start over once more.

It’s written from Jisung’s perspective because personally, I wanted the story to be told from the eyes of someone who was prideful, who was eager and determined, and who wanted to show his worth to everyone else. I feel like perhaps I didn’t expand on characterising Jisung to the fullest advantage possible, though, which remains a slight regret of mine. 

Another reason why I wanted this to be written from Jisung’s POV is because we can find out how Jisung feels about Hyunjin throughout the story. When he realises whose son Hyunjin is, he’s torn between wanting to pity Hyunjin and keeping things between them the same as they always have. (If I were in his position, though, I don’t know what I would have done lol.) It was hard to try and interpret his emotions, but there’s that.

Someone commented once asking if we’d ever get Hyunjin’s POV. Sadly, one of my biggest turn-offs is the switching of POVs in stories when it’s not entirely necessary haha. As much as I would want to know what Hyunjin is thinking when they’re arguing, or when they’re fighting, I like to keep on the suspension line. It gives you the feeling of immersing yourself as the Jisung in the story, of only seeing things from one perspective. 

As for the other characters, there wasn’t enough time to expand on all of them (for example, I mentioned Seungmin several times throughout the story, but really, he speaks only once haha). And as your fellow StayDay, it was definitely fun for me to include a few members of Day6. (please don’t ask me why I thought of ‘PJ and Honey’ while writing. I was probably hungry.)

I don’t know if I’ll continue to expand on the characters in this same universe, but it would be fun to think of the other relationships, for example Chan and Felix, or Changbin with Minho and Seungmin. (someone please save the seungbinho tag!!!!!!)

As far as characterisation goes, I’ve still got so much to learn. For now, though, I hope you enjoyed the dynamics between the characters and how Jisung and Hyunjin learnt to grow within a span of six chapters.

(iv) The Writing Process

Granted, the writing bit was a little easier in the beginning, but as I delved myself deeper into the story, I found it harder and harder to express the emotions I wanted to deliver in the story. One of the hardest chapters for me to write by far was the last chapter. I wrote two versions of the last chapter, simply because I felt the first version was too lacklustre for the ending of such a long story haha.

I had a clear outline of my story, but I did end up extending it from the initial 5 chapters to 6. For the first time, though, I didn’t add any random elements to the story, unlike how i wrote this story last year haha. The lesson I’ve learnt is that I should ALWAYS have a brief outline of the plot — detailed enough to cover the entire story, but brief enough to give me some creative freedom mid-writing.

The excitement of writing honestly wore off near the last few chapters. I’ve realised the importance of reading unfinished works in this way. Writers really need some form of motivation to keep them writing their chaptered works. So if you’re one of the real ones who started reading this even before it was completed, kudos to you. I really appreciate it.

Overall, writing this was fun. Hopefully I don’t need to do this again though; I absolutely hate writing chaptered fics because of all the time and effort put into them. I’d much rather be a ‘One-Shot Hotshot’ lol.

(v) The End (?)

I left a bit of wondering for the readers in the last chapter. If Atkins was able to wield the Force despite the false pretence that there was no longer any Force-wielders left in the universe, how many more of them could there be? 

That leaves an opening for me if I ever wish to return to this alternate universe sometime in the future. The Universe is ever-expanding, and so is our imagination.

(vi) The Inspiration

Obviously, I need to thank Star Wars. I also need to apologise because I absolutely butchered their universe. Fun fact: there was one huge plot hole I had to cover up halfway through writing. 

If you’re observant, you might remember the scene where Hyunjin asks Jisung why they didn’t just jump into hyperspace to reach Ilsanis. That’s because I was watching an episode of The Mandalorian where the Mando was forced to fly a ship without a hyperdrive engine, and I almost freaked out right there in the middle of the living room realising how weird that would be if I left the issue unattended in my own work (yikes). 

Long story short, I drew elements from the Star Wars universe and created a story of my own. I’ve been asked how I came up with the idea of the Prophecy. Frankly, I don’t know. My brain farts sometimes, I guess. Brain Farts = weird ideas that somehow make sense sometimes.

(vii) Lastly

If you have any more questions you’d like to ask (or plot holes to tell me about *shudders*), do leave me a question in my CC, or holler at me on Twitter (I’m hardly alive here on Tumblr haha). To anyone and everyone who has read ‘an odyssey’, I thank you.

This year has been a funky year, and even worse, it’s the year I had to take my IGCSEs. Writing has always been a way for me to create my own universe and release my tension and emotions, so not being able to write as much as I used to was a little tough. 

Writing will continue to be a medium for me to express my emotions and my thoughts while creating stories of my own, so simply by giving my fics a read, you’ve already fuelled my reason to continue to write. Thank you for all the support in ‘an odyssey’! 

(why did i write this entire monologue like i’m giving a speech at the Oscars or something lol im so dramatic :”))

[killmebutneverinsultme2]

Rules for mobile (Pinned Post)

The Code

Success. I’ve sufficiently pestered the wench to make me a blog, much to the cost of a certain behorned mischief god whose presence I must share. Follow the rules below, and there’ll be smooth sailin’, savvy?

This be an exceptionally selective blog. I was me mun’s first ever muse yonks back and I’ve pestered her into writing me again, BUT, she’s horribly pressed for time. Partners will likely be very few, else ones doubling up with Loki’s. Anyone is welcome to approach and enquire, but she and I will be leaning toward those either from me own universe or crossovers with which she’s highly familiar and characters in whom she’s especially interested. Ye have been warned.

Replies are like to be slow, up to a few weeks at most.

Partners must be 18+. Various themes of an adult nature may be found here. Sexual things will be tagged ‘#filthy pirate’ with whatever level/variety of sin I deem them. More details below.

Behave. There shall be no rudeness, no passive aggression, no hate, no censorship or generally being a twit. Do I make meself clear?

The Code - Extended (below the cut)

Hi, guys. I’m Pirate (oddly known as this long before I made Jack a tumblr). Here are my more detailed rules and guidelines for writing with me on this blog, though the absolute basics are at the top as, honestly, it’s never easy to remember everyone’s requirements.

Jack is a sideblog. If you’re being followed by a benevolentgodloki that means I’m following you back. I don’t need us to be mutuals (both following each other) for us to write together, but there is a greater chance of us having a partnership if we’re letting each other know we’re interested.

How I Roll

I note myself as ‘highly selective’. This isn’t to be an elitist bugger, it’s because we all only have a limited amount of time we can put in. I want to write what I enjoy with people I enjoy. I am married with two attention-seeking cats, two jobs, a slow-brewing intended writing career and a video game addiction.

Asks/Memes - I will usually answer these no matter who they are from but I may or may not turn them into a thread I intend to keep. Some memes are very much designed to be something that continues so context can be key. If you would like to know in advance whether I intend to answer and/or keep something, please do pop me a message and I will be kind and honest.

My Threads - While Jack’s blog is still exciting and new, I’m being a bit all over the place with who and what I reply to depending on which way Jack’s.. compass.. is pointing. I do have a rolling turn order that I adhere to (to the point that I can genuinely tell you who is next at any given moment) but it’s all piled in with Loki’s threads, meaning I can take a few weeks to get round everything. Every partner gets one of their threads answered within that ‘round’ and then I go round again. However, when I’m really into something/finding something easy to pop back, I treat myself to spamming certain threads or partners at my whim. I use rpthreadtracker.com to maintain what I have. 

I will remind partners of threads that have not been replied to for more than three months. If I do not do this, I have either forgotten/lost it myself, I’m not too fussed about keeping it at that stage, or you were absent for a long period of time. 

My Style - I will write in both past or present tense depending on partner preference. My default is past but I like either. Please kick me if I screw up and write the wrong one. I prefer using regular size font but I will make mine small on replies to people who use the smaller so that it looks neat. I will often match partners’ lengths and some formatting details e.g. bolding dialogue, but I struggle with doing novella-length posts for reasons below.

I have a bugbear to admit about role-play. What we call splicing. A good half of my partners write this way so I’m not about to tell everyone to stop but if you’re someone who does this, you will occasionally run into some frustrations when writing with me. ‘Splicing’ is when you retrospectively write dialogue or actions as having previously happened during your partner’s last post. These things are fine when they’re passive i.e. your character muttered them, thought them or you were writing what your character was doing at the time because that’s pretty much essential. The trouble comes usually when my characters talk a lot/ask rhetorical questions and partners choose to answer every single one despite the fact my character carried on talking. I know it’s an ass that I have talkative muses and you really want to respond to every point/get a word in, but putting words and actions into the past effectively godmods my muse into accepting they happened. If you feel your muse would have full-on interjected midway through their ramble, please ask me to edit my post/stop it at that point. Otherwise if you do prefer to splice, my muse will only respond to whatever it is your character did or said last in their post. This is one of the reasons I can’t write novella, because often there is only so much you can write before you’re stepping into the territory of changing what went before and not allowing your partner to do anything about it.

TL;DR don’t ever worry about your post being too short for me. If it’s one sentence long but it’s because something fast-paced is happening, I won’t be miffed.

Shipping! - no not that kind of ship, Jack. I love shipping. Ships all around. Let’s face it, romance can be one of the most exciting reasons we bother writing. I am open to a lot of ships for Jack, practically all of them. Yes, even that one. I will do downright nasty, toxic, horrible stuff, savvy? It’s fiction and Jack is a great indulgence for bad things happening to him as much as good. That said, of course don’t force something on him without prior agreement between us. Well, I mean, your muse can try and accost him and see what he does, just don’t expect him to definitely reciprocate. Jack and I are bi/pansexual. We’re open to everything. I will admit a heavy lean toward m/m but, that said, Jack is extremely fond of the ladies, more so than Loki. I am very into Sparrington especially.

Not Safe For Ye Olde Work

Sliding down from the above topic, I enjoy the occasional smutting. It is not a requirement from my partners. In fact, I’m warming very much to fading to black depending on the context/mood/if things feel a bit repetitive. I do feel a touch more comfortable with partners who don’t need that boundary but as I’ve recently figured ‘if it needs a cut, then it’s smut’ I know when to skip on.

Saucy material will go under cuts/Read More’s and be tagged as mentioned above with ‘filthy pirate’. Additional tags will be based on the citrus scale: ‘lime’ for general grabbing, ‘lemon’ for full on sexual content and ‘grapefruit’ if things get extra kinky. I will tag things such as ‘rape tw’ or ‘noncon tw’ or ‘dubcon tw’ where necessary. Please blacklist any or all of these at your leisure, or search them if you fancy :U I do NOT tag these as ‘ns.fw’ because tumblr just completely hides them from being searchable which is useless for my partners.

OC’s - Due to my time constraints I am extremely picky when it comes to OC’s. This is a good fandom for well-thought-out muses and I know firsthand how hard it is to make headway as an OC in the RP world. However, I also understand that for people like me, I want to dip in on this site to mostly play with the characters and worlds I’m really absorbed in and ship my weaselly black guts out. Some people have more time than others to really give your OCs the time and love they deserve. Unless I’ve played with you a long time and I really like the cut of your and your muse’s jib, it’s very unlikely I’ll bite. Apologies! The same goes for crossover muses from fandoms I’m unfamiliar with, but I will let you know if that’s the case.

Limits

Threads - I don’t have a strict limit on how many to have per person but please bear in mind that the more of these you have with me the longer it will take me to get to a particular one (unless I’m spamming it back and forth). This is more a mun/muse context how many I accept.

Exclusives/mains - I don’t do these although I may consider having a maximum of 3 or 4 of one muse depending on activity levels and to ensure plots don’t get mixed up or attention feel unfairly balanced.

Triggers/squicks - I don’t like body horror e.g. graphic detail of squishy bits having bad things happen to them. I’m writing a pirate so there’s absolutely allowed to be elements of torture/violence, just don’t stab him in the eye or chop bits off him. One torture-related thing sends me into a complete freakout which I’ll discuss with partners if we’re doing a thread of that ilk as needed. Kink-wise I’m not into mpreg, A/B/O or infantilism or toilet things. Just ask me/Jack if you’re after something XD

Who I Am/What I Need From You

Being yourself is the most important thing and I promise I am not a scary person (usually). We’re only human and it’s natural that we’ll get along better with some rather than others. This is more to give you a gist of the sort of person I am and who I gel with best.

So I’m a shy hermit at the best of times. I’m trying to be better at engaging and enthusing with partners over our threads because I realise more than ever this does keep things alive and make for a more enjoyable experience. I’m not always great at it. I work best with people who are patient and don’t worry too much on what I think of them and their writing, with people who are happy to keep threads going for the longhaul rather than keep dropping everything before I’ve had the time to get to the next post, and most especially people who accept that fiction =/= reality. I do need a certain level of quality, which doesn’t always mean perfect grammar, but it must be coherent, fun and creative. I like a relaxed approach, sharing mutual enjoyment in silly fantasy world sandboxes as escapism from (and exploration of) this complicated world we live in.

If you managed to read all of this, have a drink (even if it’s water). You’re a diamond. 

Pirate xxx

[exploringbrazilianculture]

Exploring Brazilian Culture!

Below excerpts represent a virtual study of Brazilian culture by Columbia College Chicago (CCC) undergraduate students enrolled in the Humanities, History and Social Science (HHSS) Dept. online course:  HUMA121 “Latin American Art, Literature and Music” .

This virtual showing on tumblr is hosted by CCC students enrolled in this HHSS Dept. course with its instructor, Jesus Macarena Avila. This investigation began with a study on Tarsila do Amaral and her involvement with the cultural movement: Antropofagia.

Amaral with creative intellectuals like Oswald de Andrade and Anita Malfatti advocated a new ideology, the Manifesto Antropofago.

This investigation was only enhanced by the course's online contributors and guests: Dr. Roberto J. Tejada and Ariani Friedl. Dr. Tejada's expertise of Latin American art history and knowledge on Amaral's cultural production.

Dr. Tejada gave cultural and historic interpretations of Amaral's paintings like "Carnaval em Madureira" (1924, oil on canvas, 76 × 63.5 cm) showing the Afro Brazilian influence on the work. 

Below are students' comments on what was learnt from Dr. Tejada's lecture: 

"The speaker Dr. Roberto J. Tejada did an amazing job really helping me comprehend what was going on, and the different and creative ways with the European side and the afro American side were trying to solidify the culture and understanding of one another’s history."

"Amaral is also well known for creating the work of 'Anthropofagia', according to Dr. Tejada, in which its 'main intention was to create a mythic space in a language of painting through using bold colors and unusual forms, in order to create a vision specific to Brazilian history and attending to contemporary human geography/landscapes'."

"Dr. Tejada gave a great explanation of Amaral’s painting Anthropofagia. Made in 1929, its intention was to create a mythic space in painting using non-contemporary forms and vanguard themes to connect to Brazil's history of violent colonialism."

"Some background information about that Dr. Tejada touches on the fact where many Brazilians might have come from. The government encouraged immigration for the most part from Europe. Around the year 1888, the population contained many white Brazilians but also as well many black Brazilians. 

Brazil was also one of the last countries in Latin America to abolish slavery. So even from then on racism was something that was influencing many policies (specifically Immigration policies), systems created in Brazil, etc."

"Dr. Tejada made a good point when he stated 'the word itself, signifies the Tupi language and enhancement, it seems to serve the undeniable presence of indigenous people. The indigenous culture is elevated and given importance just as any other subject European painters would put forward’."

And Ariani Friedl (above) representing Chicago's annual cinematic program: Mostra Brazilian Film Series gave an insight to this year's film programming.

Friedl was recently interviewed by Illinois Latino Voice's TransLatinx artist, Jesus "Jesse" Iniguez, this is an excerpt: 

Jesus "Jesse" Iniguez: Due to the national Shelter in Place order, how has Mostra become more accessible to a wider audience this year? 

Arian Friedl: Due to the pandemic and the impossibility for us to have a MOSTRA in person, we decided, as many other organizations, to present our MOSTRA XI virtually. This has been a completely new field for us and we have had to learn a great deal of new techniques and ways of doing a festival.

JJI: As with previous festivals, What film(s) are this year’s highlights? What are the themes or concepts being featured for Mostra Brazilian Film Festival 2020?

AF: As you know, MOSTRA present Brazilian films with social conscience and every year we bring films which address different aspects of Brazilian culture, environment, social issues, history and others.  This year we will be featuring films related to our political history, environment, gender and race issues and others.

JJI: Thank you so much for your time during our “new normal”. You can find Mostra’s film listings on their official website: http://mostrafilmfestival.org/xi/

Below are student/instructor film review excerpts:

"Amazônia, o Despertar da Florestania", Dirs: Christiane Torloni & Miguel Przewodowski, Documentary/1h 46min/2018 (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"How has Brazil dealt with nature and its natural resources in the early 20th century? What state is the Amazon Forest in? Based on interviews with specialists from the most diverse areas and the rescue of historical figures, the notion of forestry is discussed: the citizenship of the forest, a term necessary to reflect on Brazilian identity.

Although dramatic, sometimes bordering on desperate romanticism, the questions raised by the documentary Amazônia, the Awakening of Forestry are treated with the necessary urgency and a very welcoming tone by the actress, environmental activist, and now even filmmaker Christiane Torloni. 

In her directorial debut, Torloni accesses something profound, mystical, and sacred, but no less concrete or vivacious: the surreal power of the Amazon rainforest – and the risk of its disappearance.A documentary film of a conventional format like this only works with the cast's quality and constitution. 

A movie like this is only as good as the level of testimony it collects and makes available to the viewer. Fortunately, there are media personalities of weight, prestige, and intelligence, from the fields of art to sciences. All are coming together to trace and unravel the devastating panorama in which we find ourselves as a society." -- E. Reynaga

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0Dvm-VH1L8k

"Açúcar", Dirs. Renata Pinheiro & Sérgio Oliveira, Fiction/1h 30min/2020 (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"Açúcar is a surreal but haunting portrait of an aging sugar cane plantation. It centers on the main character, Bethânia Wanderley (played by Maeve Jinkings), a last remaining family member of a historic Brazilian plantation family. She tries to repair the old mansion and thinking of new crops to revive the plantation industry.

Although this is a fictional tale, it does reference actual facts about slavery in Brazil (being the last Latin American country to abolish slave ownership). As the story progresses, Bethânia begins to see or "hallucinate" things around the old mansion, is it the Wanderley's past with slavery? Or is it the local people, descendants of slaves plotting to get the aging land back? Is it this about “revenge” or reclaiming human rights?

It's beautifully photographed against a sugar cane landscape referencing Afro Brazilian beliefs in Orixas and body possession. Directors Renata Pinheiro and Sérgio Oliveira has won awards for their own films and this feature is a collaborative work at re-looking Brazil's slavery and the history of plantation families." -- J. Macarena Avila

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rQBfzNZMags

”Mormaço", Dir: Marina Meliande, Political Drama/1h 36min/ 2018 (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"Mormaço combines different genres, fantasy, political, drama, etc. using visuals to make social commentary about 2016 Rio de Janiero's Olympics. That year, many resident areas were displaced to create attractions for tourism for the Olympics.

This feature is a dazzling, but slow burner story using different genres based on true events surrounding the 2016 Olympics when one of the hottest summers faced Rio de Janiero's area.

It centers on a public lawyer, Ana representing residents being threaten to move. The residents have regular meetings with Ana to prepare to lobby against the city government. Then Ana develops a unknown medical condition that starts a metaphorsis that only complicates her life." -- J. Macarena Avila

"After viewing the film I did some research and learned from an article titled 'Film Mormaço Interweaves Fiction and Reality to Retell Story of Vila Autódromo Evictions' that these events in the film are based on historical events that actually occurred. 

The article also states that Mormaço 'makes use of actual footage of these events.' Many of the scenes illustrating war and protest are primary sources that I found very interesting. 

Knowing this about the film made me want to watch it a second time to catch all of these primary footages. Mostly because of how seamless the transition from historical footage to current footage. Overall, I felt the film was not only entertaining but also informational." -- J. Heflin

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FwSanEqppds

"Deslembro", Dir: Flávia Castro, Drama /1h 36min / 2018 (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"Quickly summarizing this movie, it’s about a girl named Joanna, who lives with her mom, stepfather, and two stepbrothers in Paris. Her parents announce that they would be moving the family to Brazil and it is very clear at the beginning of the movie how Joanna feels about the decision. Of course, the move is inevitable and the rest of the movie is located in Brazil. 

The move to Brazil allows Joanna to be able to explore new things, like the world of literature, her first love, and she awakens politically. Being in Brazil seems to bring up a whole bunch of old disturbing memories from Joanna’s childhood that have something to do with her fathers’ disappearance which then leads Joanna to have a slight hope that her father may be alive.

Leaving this paragraph on a cliff hanger just in case anyone ends up wanting to watch it. I believe that this was a very well written and portrayed movie. It caught my interest because it just seemed relatable. Something realistic, unlike this other movie that I was interested in watching which seemed more fiction based." -- Y. Contreras 

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4qFP5cbmyEg

"Mulher Que Sou" (15m), Dir: Nathalia Thereza (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"The film 'The Woman Who I Am' follows a single mother who is in search of a new beginning away from what appears to be the rural lifestyle she once lived. We immediately begin the story following our main character, Marta, who is traveling alongside a mountain by bus before abruptly switching to a highway where she continues her travel into the city. Later, as she is searching for apartments we are introduced to her daughter who she consults with during this process. 

This establishes for the audience their relationship with one another but also theimportance of and emphasis placed on the value of listening to her daughter and including her in this journey. While the prevailing theme of this film, I contend, was identity, we also can identify themes of femininity, single motherhood, modernity, and beauty all woven into the dynamic of Marta’s character. 

These intersections help us to understand and even challenge the ways in which we often place mothers in society, especially those that are single or value women past a certain age, questioning their worthiness to be called beautiful" -- G. Paredes

"Oddly enough, the Woman I am was probably my least favorite out of all the films I watched at Mostra. Don’t get me wrong I still enjoyed the film and thought it was pretty good, but it had a lot of potentials that was wasted. There were scenes where the dialogue was too rushed and others where nothing was happening for a particularly long time. 

One thing I don’t like is that they didn’t show you some things. For example, the characters would be talking about something off-screen, and the way they were talking about it, you would think it would be some, what of a big deal. They didn’t show the thing in that scene and I thought they were leaving it to be some sort of reveal later on in the film. 

But it never gets mentioned again and the audience never gets to see what the characters were talking about. In my opinion, it would’ve been fine not to show it if it was a quick mention but the character made it seemed like it was kinda important. 

A reason I did like the film’s 'secretness' is that it captured what the film was supposed to be about: a mom and daughter moving on from their past to a new beginning." -- K. Williams

View this short here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=05-F8PDvxdY

"Azougue Nazaré", Dir: Tiago Melo, Fiction/1h 22min/2018 (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"The film Azougue Nazaré was a drama film released in 2018 directed and written by Tiago Melo. The film is about the start of a new destructive supernatural phenomenon and different spiritual ideologies that collide within this community.

The film touches on religious topics and events in Latin American and was very informational and entertaining. I felt that this film was well put together and although I was not used to many of the different rituals and traditions are shown in the film.

It was very easy to follow along and even relate some of these traditions to ones in my culture. I usually would never go for a film that has to do with religious topics but the film’s artistic values and images caught my eye." - J. Heflin

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NFxE51n0IQo

"Quebramar", (27m), Dir: Cris Lyra (Portuguese w English Subtitles)

"Going off of Mostra Festival’s description of the film, Breakwater (Quebramar) is a movie about a group of girls from São Paulo who takes a vacation to a remote island for the New Years. While on this vacation, the girls hang out, form a connection, build a safe space, and discuss with each other their experiences being in a part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

The things that caught my attention most about this movie and made me want to watch it were the categories 'LGBT' and 'black perspective' because those both relate to me. The movie was filmed in the style of a documentary, though I couldn’t really find any proof it was. 

If the film was scripted, then I have to give a huge round of applause to the actresses because they delivered them seamlessly and made it feel natural.One of my favorite things about the film is how casual it was. It was a feel-good film where everyone was having fun, bonding, and really supporting each other." -- K. Williams

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xNDquFNV9dQ

"Sem Asas", (20m), Dir: Renata Martins

"Sem Asas, or Wingless in its English translation, is a short film about a boy with a longtime interest in flying discovering he 'can'. I watched this movie because it was under the category 'black perspective' but I enjoyed it so much because it broke a lot of basic representation the media gives us.

The film mainly centers around the boy but also features his parents. I mention this because the movie really focuses on this family’s strong bond. That’s one thing media rarely gives movies, films, T.V, and etc that focuses on black representation. There’s always one parent (usually the dad) missing or dead and if both parents are there, the marriage is toxic and on the verge of breaking. 

This family however is very close and from what the movie showed us very healthy. They help each other out when asked, joke around, lightheartedly tease each other, and were overall worried for each other. Another thing this film didn’t do that most media does was only make it about struggle. 

I won’t lie the Black community does have a lot of struggles and situations it has to deal with but those things are usually the only thing media recognizes us for. While the representation of that is important, it starts to build an image in your head when that’s pretty much the ONLY time you see yourself and your community focused on in media. 

Yes, there is black on black violence, broken family, major poverty, and many other things but that’s not all the black community is. I think Wingless did a good job of portraying this."-- K. Williams

View trailer here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPkWmJvC-Tc

This for educational purposes and co-hosted by

Friedl's video introduction (created/produced by Sara Vianni) to enrolled students in the HUMA 121 course, "Latin American Art, Literature and Music".

[forestwater87]

Ok this is super embarrassing but you’re one of my favorite writers in this uh.. whatever this blogosphere is so!! I wanna try and take a crack at writing my own fanfic but.. I got no idea where to even start. Any advice?

Oh man, I feel awful about this! I didn’t know my inbox had any new messages, so some of these asks have been sitting here for . . . some time. 

Anyway, first off thank you very much! Secondly, the most obvious advice is just, you know, “do it.” But that’s infinitely easier said than done. I started writing fanfic when I was around 10 years old, so overthinking it wasn’t an issue, since I thought I was the world’s greatest writer. Assuming you’re not 10 years old and as blind to the concept of literary criticism as I was . . . well, the first step is obviously getting an idea. EDIT: Holy shit, this is long. I’m gonna have to break this bad boy up with headers, like it’s a real blog post or something.

Getting Ideas/Inspiration

I don’t know if you already have something you’d like to write about or if you’re still at the “gee that looks like fun” level of fanfic ruminating, but if you’re having trouble coming up with ideas, turning to the existing fandom is a great place to start! 

1: Filling in fandom gaps: I’ve found a lot of my best fic ideas by looking through what already existed and seeing where there was something missing; when I first started writing for Camp Camp, literally only @raenbowsofficial created anything for Gwenvid -- it didn’t even have a ship name yet, and I’m pretty sure the 3 people into it were still throwing “daven” and “gavid” around as well -- so there being zero other fics for it meant that if I wanted it to exist, I’d have to be the one to write it. (That’s also nice if you’re kind of insecure, because when no one else has tried the idea you’re interested in, you have no pressure to compare it to anything else.) 

Also, you could take a popular/already existing concept and write it the way you’d like to see it, if the existing fanfics do something with the story or characters that you’re not thrilled with. That’s handy because it gives you a general blueprint to work off of in terms of tropes and broad story beats, while letting you explore something new. Obviously, don’t rip off someone else’s fic note-for-note, but being inspired by someone else is a great way to kickstart your creativity! If you do have a specific author or story that you’re using as a jumping-off point for your own writing, I would strongly recommend linking them in your author’s notes at the beginning or end of the fic, and maybe gifting the story to them! You don’t have to, since the creation is entirely your own, but it’s still always nice to acknowledge the people who inspire you the most.

2: Fandom inception. If you want to be a little more direct and literal, there’s always the option of writing fanfic of a fanfic or fanart that you really love, if there’s a universe or story idea that you like, and you want more of it. As long as you give credit and notify the original creator, I think you’d have no issues in terms of fanfic etiquette, and I imagine they’d be honored to have inspired your own writing. Fandom is a very collaborative experience, after all, and we’re all in this together! :)

3. For more general “I have a vague idea of what I want to do (the ship, or maybe a tiny plot bunny) but I’m not sure where to go with it,” my biggest recommendation is music. Especially folk indie-rock music, which is 90% angst and 100% haunting. And again, looking at fanfic/art is a great way to get inspired -- I have a tendency to put up a particularly good or emblematic piece of fanart/fic in another window when I’m working on something tricky to write, just for something to stare at when my ideas start running dry (shoutout to @doritofalls, @ellohcee, and the aforementioned RA for being my go-tos when I need to stare at something pretty to feel inspired; there are absolutely others, because this fandom is filled with absurdly talented people, but those 3 are my heroes of inspiration and if you SOMEHOW don’t already know them, fix that immediately). 

Wow, that’s a lot and it’s literally just all about getting an idea . . . which you might already have. Yikes. For the sake of people who have to scroll past this, let’s put the rest under a cut:

Fleshing Out the Idea: An Ode to Outlines

Some people are able to just sit down and write something incredible from a vague idea, and the story just builds on itself without any sort of planning or organization to guide them along the way. These people are named Cipher/Campernetics, and we hate her for being unfairly talented.

For the rest of us, outlines are essential.

My outlines tend to be insanely specific, because I’m very afraid of letting a single idea slip through the cracks, and I build on them over time as I get increasingly sure of where the story’s going. The early outlines tend to be extremely vague, with lots of “and then something happens” connecting major plot points. An example for a current WIP I’m doing right now:

(Seriously, “Julia and everything”? Future Forest is going to be so pissed at current Forest when she reaches that point and realizes she has no idea what she’s doing)

And as the story starts to take shape and a plot eventually forms -- they tend to take at least 10 chapters to materialize, but they do generally show up! One of the great things about fanfiction is that plot is largely optional, though, so no worries if you’re starting without a full story idea -- I find myself writing more and more details down, if for no other reason than that I want to make sure I remember what I was thinking when I finally get to that scene (because I have absolutely gotten to a point in a story and forgotten what I’d had planned. It sucks). Here’s an example from another fic with pretty significant spoilers if you can figure out which one it is oops:

I’d recommend keeping your outlines pretty simple, at least to start with: words and phrases, rather than whole-ass sentences like the above. The complexity will develop as your ideas do, so no need to wrack your brain trying to write out the entire story in bullet form.

I use the bolded ideas as stepping stones, more or less; I’ll write out the piece of the story that each line represents, which can be as little as a sentence or as much as 4 or more chapters (RIP my most recent long-running fic), then delete that line and move on to the next. 

Bolding them isn’t necessary, but it does make it easier to differentiate at a glance what needs to be written. If you keep everything in the same hundred-page Google Doc like I do, this is very important.

Your outline doesn’t have to be well-written, and you can 100% use fillers like “and then something happens here.” I do that all the time -- again, another completely different story:

Now, the vaguer things are, the more annoyed Future You will be when it comes time to write whatever it’s bulleting -- there’s a reason I haven’t updated this fic, and it’s because I have zero idea what the everliving fuck “Pinky-and-the-Brain-ing all over the place” means -- but it’s really good for when you’re first getting started sketching out the vague outline of your fic. The more you panic trying to figure out all the twists and details at the very start, the less likely you’re ever just going to sit down and write the damn thing.

(This might be why I don’t write plot-heavy stories, to be fair. Mystery writers very well might have to have it all planned out from the get-go, and I’d recommend chatting with someone who’s a bit less “coffeeshop AU” and a bit more Agatha Christie for that kind of advice.)

Knowing When to Post

There are people that exist, who have amazing self-control, who can wait until their entire story is written and then release it in sections, at regular intervals, until the story is completed.

I am not one of these people, though I try to be with literally every single fic I’ve ever written.

Personally, I do this until I reach a point where I get stuck and need validation, and then post what I have in a giant chunk and then don’t update it for several months. This is almost universally known as the worst way to write fanfics, both in terms of getting interaction from fans and keeping readers from wanting to kill you, and if you have the ability to write the entire thing and sit on it until it’s ready to be shared, you are a hero.

Alternatively, if you can actually stick to a set schedule of writing it as you go and still update with a new chapter every X days, you are not human and I’m terrified of you, because if you find a way to weaponize this power you will rule the world.

Honestly, a good rule of thumb? Post it when you’re ready for people to read it, whether it’s done or not. Not all works will get done, and it seems mean to deny people the delicious little stub you’ve written even if you’re not going to finish it. When you’re happy with what you have -- or are so tired of looking at it that you need to post it or you’ll throw your computer out the window -- just do it and let out a sigh of relief, then either take a few days before going back to writing or just jump in immediately like a goddamn masochist.

(I have tried to get far enough ahead that I can start posting the already-written stuff on a schedule, figuring by the time I’m caught up I’ll have completed the entire story and won’t have any awkward gaps. Ahahahahahahahahaha that has never once worked.)

If you’re not certain about your writing, get a beta! The fandom is full of talented people who’d be happy to read over your work, and if the person you ask doesn’t have the time or spoons, they probably have a few ideas of other people you could reach out to. You don’t need a beta, but it always makes me feel better to have another set of eyes look over my writing before posting, and my beta always catches things I completely missed. Plus, you get a nice taste of that sweet, sweet validation we all crave.

This . . . is a bad guide. Just in general. The advice is . . . not good, and I think it’s largely useless. But I keep trying to think of useful things to add to it and coming up empty, so I hope something in here helped, and if you’d like to bounce your ideas off of someone, feel free to shoot me a message! Talking ideas over with friends is a great way to flesh them out as well, and I am happy to be anyone’s fandom friend.

[blogulianatish]

Mercury in Libra-steel blade of reason with a soft smile

The planet that supports the development of intelligence, mercury, being in the sign of Libra, occupies a seemingly strong position that gives a person intuition, a sense of beauty, a love of elegant expression of thoughts and determination in protecting the interests of the unjustly offended. He is a born advocate, an inspired advocate of high ideals. 

However, mercury in Libra is subject not only to the influence of Venus, but also Chiron, forcing to rush from plus to minus in the heat of contradictions of his own mind. Under certain circumstances, Nativ can be cold and sincere, sincere companion and arrogant cynic, confusing interlocutors. Making decisions on its domestic court, long oscillates between "Yes" and "no" and, to to forge with him confidential contact, need to understand foundations venero-chironanskogo thinking. 

Features of behavior 

A pleasant bonus for the owner of mercury in Libra is eternal youth, manifested in a thirsty spirit of knowledge and new achievements, which energetically rejuvenates the body. Nativ outwardly calm and peaceful, and only honed like a steel blade look gives unbending willpower and innate authority. He does not need sharp corners, conflicts and quarrels. Diplomatic mindset and confidence in their own authority allows you to find the right words to pacify opponents. 

The qualities characteristic of the mercury carrier in Libra are revealed according to the position in the houses and aspects: 

a person does not allow negative emotions to spill out in public;

perseverance, self-discipline, steady movement towards an inspiring goal; 

the ability to balance between mundane realism and bold dreams, without falling into rainbow illusions;

the degree of assimilation of information is proportional to the aesthetic appearance of the teacher – will not take seriously untidy, poorly dressed teacher or interlocutor;

an ineradicable desire to restore justice and improve the world;

quarrels and swearing reduce the clarity and adequacy of thinking, encourage the native to hide from the cruel world;

the development of intelligence is promoted by creative activities-painting, dancing, singing and recitation; 

the attempt to take into account conflicting points of view and to derive a common denominator of benefit leads to internal torment. 

The owners of mercury in Libra are people of beauty and harmony. They can't stand to be shouted at or picked on. Cooperation and training in a gloomy atmosphere will end in complete collapse. It is vital for them to be among like-minded people in the field of government, art, music, design or fashion, where they flourish and show the talent of the leader and Creator to the maximum.

Male and female 

A man with a harmonious mercury in Libra rules the ball with an iron hand in a velvet glove. He is soft in the form of expressing tough decisions, but adamant, though willing to compromise if he is well argued and offered a profitable alternative. The affected planet inclines to cunning, the cause of which is not cunning, but the fear of disappointing someone from many acquaintances. 

Seeking to please, weakened mercury in Libra forces the ward to voice not a sincere point of view, but what the interlocutor wants to hear, or the native deliberately plots the enemy, pretending to be an ally, and acts as it is beneficial to him. This is especially pronounced in relations with the fair sex – you should not unconditionally trust the dizzying compliments and confessions of a Venus-Mercurian. 

A woman with mercury in Libra is full of original, interesting ideas, however, half of them do not have time to implement for fear of offending or hurting someone from relatives and colleagues. She is often shy about moving up the career path, fearing to make enemies and envious. Being a born diplomat, she easily settles conflicts and quarrels, although she remains emotionally devastated when faced with negativity. 

It as air needs creativity and communication with highly moral and spiritual people. Despite the ability to convince anyone, even in absurd theories, in marriage, she adapts to the man, pushing personal interests into the background. 

Retrograde and important aspects with planets 

Owners of retrograde mercury in Libra react to the interlocutor's remarks with a delay. The fact is that they carefully choose the right words, so as not to offend anyone and not to provoke an argument. Increases suspiciousness: a person repeats the same thing several times, clarifying and supplementing, afraid of being misunderstood. 

It would seem that the conversation is over, and Nativ calls back or raises an old topic at a meeting, often apologizes and asks again, not whether he accidentally offended, but whether his words are correctly perceived, which only irritates people. It is necessary to develop confidence in decision - making, to close the topic in time, not reflecting on the reaction of the interlocutor, to be more spontaneous. 

Favorable aspects with Venus and Chiron strengthen mercury in Libra, endowing acting talent, the gift of persuasion and reincarnation, a subtle understanding of art and eloquence. Trin and sextil with Mars and Jupiter remove shyness and fear, help to take a leading position in politics. Exacerbate nervous tension, stiffness and indecision opposition or quadrature with Saturn and Neptune. 

Additional description 

People born with mercury in Libra are able to see the problem from all sides, negotiate and seek compromise and reconciliation. You are diplomatic, fair, tactful and have social tact. You can work well with any group of people. You are objective and detached from emotional beliefs, so you can be a great Advisor, mediator, or public relations representative. You insist on justice and seek peace and harmony in all situations. The sense of beauty allows you to work in the artistic and cultural sphere. 

Mercury gives You a convincing, rational and well-balanced mindset with artistic sensibility. You are flexible in communication and ready to listen to all sides of the problem.  Sometimes it can lead to indecision and hesitation, because it's hard for you to decide which side has more good reasons. When your mind is working on comparing and analyzing the big picture, you feel at your best.

[toaarcan]

Scourge the Hedgehog: The Bad Fanfic Apotheosis

Y’all are gonna hate me for this one.

This is something of a followup to my previous post, Fiona Fox: Depth vs. Prominence, and inspired directly by the discussion I had with a friend in the comments section of the DA upload of it.

Part 1: Fanfic vs. Canon- Genesis of the Recolour Elements of the Archie Sonic the Hedgehog comic have long been compared to a bad fanfiction, particularly the parts of the story written by Ken Penders, though other writers like Bollers, Chacon, and Flynn have drawn that label too. I'm one of the people that's done it, and that's largely because I hold fanfic and official material to very different standards. There are certain things you can do in fanfic that you can't do in official material, especially with franchises like Sonic, and especially with more niche parts of said franchise, like a comic series. Of course, there are also certain things you can do in both, but you probably shouldn't. And Scourge is one of them. What exactly the process behind Scourge's creation was is something that's been debated. For a lot of people, he's considered to be a parody of the then-rampant "Sonic Recolour" fad, wherein fans would take screenshots of Sonic X, and other official artwork, and then edit it in Microsoft Paint, or another similar program, to create their own characters and stories. Now, this was long decried by other fans, myself included, as incredibly lacking in creativity and originality. It also had an "Ew, cringe" reaction, due to the often-shoddy editing, text-to-speech voices, and usually some top-tier mid-2000s Nu Metal for the music. These days, it's much easier to look back and say "These were mostly made by kids who were just having fun, and it's completely harmless", and it becomes apparent that a lot of the people that were making fun of them and criticising them were grown men, at which point you kinda realise that this "internet fad" was basically just bullying a bunch of children for not being up to the creative standards of some adults. Everybody was looking for the next Chris-Chan, but Chris-Chan is a near-unique entity, as only one other person alive has ever managed to combine that sheer void of talent with a monumentally repulsive personality, and that person is Ken Penders. But Sonichu is the least interesting thing about Chris, and Chris became the laughingstock that he is because of his inability to avoid posting his entire life on the Internet, which was something of a rarity in those halcyon days before the rise of modern social media. Sonichu was a gateway to the actually interesting content also on his channels, whereas these recolour-creators didn't have anything like that, just endless Windows Movie Maker slideshows. And, like, Chris was in his 20s when he became the Internet's punching bag for the first time, and while he's a horrible person, so were the people that dedicated their time and effort to trolling him- His story is fascinating, but it has no heroes. And into this collective cocktail of grown men shitting on preteens, so Ian Flynn introduced Scourge the Hedgehog. Is Scourge a parody of Sonic recolours? I sincerely hope not. The reason for that is twofold, and I'll discuss how his portrayal generally doesn't seem to be mocking those tropes further down the page, but the second issue with the idea that he is a parody is best explained by Sir Terry.

Parody can never punch down, and as a then-24 year old man writing official canon for a franchise, mocking a bunch of 10 year olds on the Internet for making bad stories would definitely be punching down. And, as I said, nothing about the way Scourge is written is in any way poking fun at the tropes of these fancharacters and stories. It's pretty much all played completely straight. So not only do I hope Ian wasn't trying to mock these fancharacters, but there's also little reason to believe that he actually was.   He's not a parody, he is a send-up. And on the one hand, it's kinda nice to throw a bone to those kids. But on the other hand... is Scourge really the character you want to represent your part of the fandom in official material? A cruel, violent, abusive, vicious monster that spends his time palling around with a girlfriend that the writer reforged to be the most unlikable character in the entire comic? Yeah, can't say that's what I'd want if I were one of those people, but he seems to be popular enough, so maybe I'm in the minority there. But now we get to the meat of the problem. You see, the way Scourge is written is one of those things that you can do in fanfic, but you shouldn't do in canon. Part 2: What is a Mary-Sue? The term "Mary-Sue" gets thrown around a lot these days. It's gradually lost all meaning, and has slowly become a term for "Female character that I don't like," mainly used by whiny, easily-offended Broflake Youtubers, who get all pissy that Star Wars films aren't specifically catering to them, to the point that you only have to make a girl be good at something in a movie and these pissbabies lose their shit. I liked Episode VII and VIII more than I, II, or VI, get fucked. But what, then, is a Mary-Sue? And why is it relevant to Scourge? The answer to that first question is a lot more complicated than it might seem. Not just because there are now several different varieties of the trope, but also because the trope itself evolved as it began to be applied to non-fanworks, and additionally because the name itself is somewhat non-indicative. A male Mary-Sue can exist, though these are normally referred to as "Marty-Stue" or "Gary-Stue", or more cynically "The Protagonist". Check out the average Batman comic these days and you'll see what I mean. Originally, the term applied only to a self-insert character in a fanfic, that was an overly-idealised version of the author, dramatically overpowered, hugely popular, normally dating whichever member of the cast the author wanted to bone, or sometimes multiple partners at the same time, along with a few other traits. It's actually pre-Internet term, originating in a Star Trek fanzine when "Mary-Sue" was created as a parody of other fans' similar characters. Over time, the trope evolved to the point that, while the "author avatar" feature is still a pretty big indicator, it's not really necessary. So while there are probably plenty of people out there who want to be Batman, not every character that is a Mary-Sue is someone for the author to project themselves onto, and not every author avatar is a Mary-Sue. Generally, the important features of a Mary-Sue are now: 1) Receives a great deal of favouritism from the author 2) More powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity 3) Faces zero consequences for their actions. 4) Liked by characters that have no reason to do so 5) In a relationship with a character that has no reason to date them, previous relationships be damned. 6) Most importantly, the story will bend over backwards to give them easy wins, even in situations where they logically should struggle. You're probably starting to get where I'm going with this, and if you're not... Part 3: Creator's Pet Scourge is a Creator's Pet. He gets shown a fair bit of favouritism from Ian Flynn, primarily the guise of how much focus he gets. Scourge is the most prolific villain in Ian's run, aside from Eggman himself. While other, better villains like Mogul and Naugus were being imprisoned repeatedly until one retired and the other became a dog, and a huge chunk of the comic's remaining antagonists were being subsumed into the Eggman Empire, Scourge was only moving up, not only being the villain of Ian's first two issues on the book, but continuing to make sporadic appearances for the next twenty issues, before appearing as the new leader of the Destructix under Finitevus in the Enerjak Reborn arc, followed swiftly by a stint as the Big Bad in Bold New Moebius. Does he actually deserve this level of importance? You be the judge, but personally, I don't think so. Even within those stories, Scourge gets special treatment, the biggest and most obvious being Metal Scourge. Now, personally, I think Metal Scourge was a better character than Scourge himself, but the fact that, of all people, Scourge got a Metal counterpart before anyone else, including Knuckles, who had such a counterpart in the games for over a decade by that point.  Especially since, well... Metal and Mettle is a fun story, but it doesn't really do anything for Bold New Moebius as a whole, does it? It's basically pure filler, only really serving to add another dead Metal Sonic to Ian's list and stall the plot out for a bit longer. And, of course, the most clear indicator of Scourge's favouritism is that he was he first Archie character to receive his own Sonic Universe arc, and the only one to do so without needing two or three SEGA characters also making up the rest of the lead cast. "Lockdown" isn't a particularly good story, but its existence speaks to not just the insane popularity that such an unworthy character received, but also Archie's willingness to indulge that. Sonic Universe was largely intended to tell stories revolving around the members of the SEGA cast that, for whatever reason, weren't able to regularly appear in the main book. This... frequently got broken, with Sonic, Tails, Sally, Bunnie, Antoine, and Amy all taking centre-stage in the book before obvious candidates like the Chaotix got a look in, some of them twice over, but Scourge was the only time they were willing to try a story based entirely around one of their characters, and they gave it to the already extremely prominent Scourge. It's pretty clear that Ian loved using this character, and did so as much as possible. YMMV on whether that's good or not. Part 4: Scourge OP plz nerf Let's be real, he's overpowered as fuck. Now, overpowered characters aren't necessarily bad, but it's significantly harder to write an OP character than an on-average one, and Scourge didn't work out so well. From the moment he turns green, he's basically unstoppable. The one time he actually seems to remotely struggle is actually in 161, where he looks ever-so-slightly winded after curbstomping Sonic and Shadow at the same time. From then on, while he does start to slowly even out with Sonic, he also continues to utterly demolish basically everyone else, especially his easy conquest of Moebius. It's been suggested that conquering Moebius should be easy, because the big threats are all good, kind people there, but that somewhat ignores that there are anti-versions of the heroes kicking about too. All the (Mostly) benevolent rulers of the Primeverse should be tyrannical despots there, and there are excessively powerful entities like the Anti-versions of Merlin and the Guardians, not to mention whatever horrors Anti-Gerald would've unleashed on the world, and that's without the Suppression Squad themselves. While the comic has generally treated Sonic as being able to stomp the entire rest of the FF, well, who says it has to be a fight? Why the fuck doesn't Patch just poison him? I mean, the obvious answer is "Because then Bold New Moebius won't have a main villain", and sometimes contractual villain immortality has to be a thing, but a good writer should be able to avoid putting the characters in that position. Following on from that, Scourge gets to fight basically the entire FF and Suppression Squad at the same time, (Sonic and Amy are absent and Fiona is on his side), and he's winning until Sonic shows up. Then directly after that is the hedgehog brawl, and despite Sonic managing to get everyone against Scourge, he easily manages to escape and break out his Super form. Even after spending his time in the No-Zone completely powerless, Scourge manages to break out the moment he gets his powers back, despite the prison being full of characters who should be equally or more powerful than him, and the police force that caught them all, basically unchallenged. Scourge never faces an actual challenge in the comic. He never struggles, and the one time he actually loses? Ian makes up some new lore on the spot, which is contradictory to SEGA lore from the same year, and then uses that to have Sonic trick Scourge into depowering himself. Not only does Scourge never struggle with anything, but he also never actually loses a fight. Part 5: When will you learn, that your actions have consequences?! Probably never, because Scourge's actions never have consequences. Throughout his entire run, Scourge gets to go wherever he wants, do what he wants, with or to whomever he wants, and he never has to deal with the fallout of the decisions he makes. Absorbs the energy of a matter world into his antimatter body? He's better than fine, it only made him stronger. Turns up in Knothole with his secret girlfriend's hated arch rival by his side? Never mentioned again. Blows Fiona's connection to him, costing Finitevus' operation a potential spy in Knothole, where Knuckles is? Not even considered a factor. Ditches Finitevus to go and make Moebius into an egopolis? Finitevus isn't bothered, and supports Fiona's efforts to rescue him later down the line after than plan backfired on him. Blinds Patch in one eye out of jealousy/spite? The guy that poisoned Armand and Max, took a torch to Antoine's personal life, took advantage of Sally's frayed mental state, emotionally damaged Bunnie, and tried to assassinate Elias to get what he wanted lets him get away with it. Openly announces that he's going to destroy both worlds? Conveniently does it when he's alone with Sonic so nobody can tell Fiona what she's letting herself in for. He eventually does get sent to jail, but he breaks out with ease the next time he turns up. Because, y'know, that's just what we want to see. Villains never having to deal with karma. Part 6: What does anyone see in him? Scourge doesn't quite get the "everyone loves him" treatment, but he still gets a whole lot more respect than he's ever earned. Both Sonic and Zobotnik are portrayed arbitrarily deciding that maybe there's a shred of good in this monster, and this is the part where I stress that he's abusive again. Maybe if I repeat that enough it'll sink in. Despite knowing full-well the sort of person Scourge is, Sonic's response to Scourge's crappy cribbing of the "One Bad Day" speech is to try and turn it around and claim that Scourge only needs a tiny bit of decency to be a good person, and this is outright untrue, and given what we see of Scourge later, I'm frankly disgusted that Ian tried to pull this with a character he'll pretty much unambiguously portray as an abuser. Zobotnik's case is even more baffling. We're introduced to the guy in the Lockdown arc, and it's implied that he's effectively a tyrannical warden, ruling over the No-Zone with an iron fist, taking an almost sadistic delight in punishing the inmates. But yet, for whatever reason, he decides that it's a good idea to try and rehabilitate Scourge, for no adequately established reason. Even on the other side of the morality line, we have Finitevus, who apparently respects Scourge enough to not just make him leader of the Destructix during the Enerjak Reborn arc, despite him very clearly not being a leader, and not being liked by any of his comrades except Fiona, but then when he promptly ditches the whole plan toward the end, Finitevus apparently decides that he not only wants to get him back, but is willing to go to great lengths and risk losing the only team of mercenaries dumb enough to work for a guy who is quite open about his intentions to "purify the world with Chaos fire" in order to do it. And speaking of, the most egregious case of this comes again in Lockdown, where the Destructix all end up siding with Scourge. Across the second half of the arc, Scourge learns his new team's backstories, and despite them clearly showing traits and beliefs that should make them respect him less, this somehow works in his favour, and he manages to wrest leadership of the team from Fiona. Especially galling is that it appears that Fiona loses their respect early on because of her faith in Scourge, who to them, looks pathetic, but then they end up supporting him anyway, despite doing nothing to earn it. But wait, one's missing... Looks like it's that time again. Part 7: Oh right, he's an abuser. It's time to talk about Fiona. Fiona's heel turn is really, really effective at selling you on the idea that Fiona is a vile, cruel, and selfish person. It's a dramatic, "big bang" moment that, in basically a single panel, got an entire fandom to hate a character. Now for some it was more of a "Love to hate" thing, but there are plenty of people out there who just really hate Fiona for this single moment. And when you're introducing a new major villain, maybe that's what you want to accomplish. What it doesn't do, however, is sell you on her motives for taking that course of action. Fiona, for the rest of her existence, mainly antagonises Sally, whom she has no worthwhile connection to on either side of her turn, other than being the evil  Sally to Scourge's Evil Sonic, and stands around or clings to Scourge's arm, looking smug about her abusive relationship. And yes, it is abusive, verbal abuse is still abuse, and the implications that he's physically abusive are present too. I know this is something that Scourge's fans don't really want to accept, but it's true, and we're going to get into that later. For now, what matters is that this character's run as a villain mainly consists of: Fiona: "Hey Sugar-Queen, look at how much my boyfriend yells at me and insults me, and probably beats me when he's angry. I make smart decisions and you suck." We never come to understand why this character, who is so motivated by her belief that everyone will eventually double-cross her that she has decided to start lashing out at people before they can turn on her, is willing to put her faith 100% in someone so repeatedly deceptive that he first approached her by pretending to be someone else. Like, in terms of bad first impressions, that's up there with arriving at a job interview in full clown regalia. The comic makes no effort to show why these characters like each other. Scourge allegedly likes her because she chooses to turn evil and join him, rather than being born evil, but this clashes with not only the fact that Fiona is a genuinely good person before this, who makes a solid effort to stay loyal to her friends first, and is lured into villainy by him, but also the fact that she blames everyone but herself for her current situation, but especially with the fact that all of the foreshadowing for Fiona turning evil consists of people not trusting her because she has a shady history. Scourge claims to appreciate that Fiona is a good person that chooses to be evil, but the narrative has a clear message of "If you started evil, it doesn't matter if you try to become good, you will always revert to type." Which isn't exactly a good message, Ian. In return, all we get from Fiona's side is that Scourge "has no expectations of her and just wants to have fun", which clashes entirely with how we see them interact in subsequent arcs, where Fiona frequently looks disturbed or apprehensive, or just bored, while Scourge yells at her and threatens her for not meeting his standards. Seriously, why do people ship this? But okay, okay. Scourge is a good liar, and Fiona's established paranoia and history do make her vulnerable to manipulators like him, so maybe she falls for his lies and gets taken for a ride. That could happen, sure. Doesn't really explain why she becomes a horrendous person all of a sudden, but whatever. Maybe he convinced her to do it as a sort of hazing, and a means of ensuring she couldn't go back. That fits with his abusive nature (You might also notice that this the explanation I used in Revival). But why does she stay? And why does she refuse every out she's given? Why, after everything that pulled her to his side has turned out to be bullshit, does she remain devoted to him? Now, you can argue that due to the abuse and the manipulation she's suffered, she believes she has to stay with him, and that's a fair shout, but her appearance in Journey to the East is kind of a stumbling block for that theory, because we're shown a Fiona who is fully capable of functioning without him, and even after making efforts to establish herself... the next time we see her she's gone back for him. And now... well, it's time to talk about that "A" word I've been bringing up a lot in this section. Scourge is abusive. I've frequently referenced that he verbally abuses Fiona every time she displeases him across the book, but the most telling scene is this one from Issue 190.

"You do not want to be sent back with me." Translation: "If I get sent back, and you're sent back too, I'm going to beat the shit out of you." Fiona (With her invisible left arm) isn't excluded from this threat. Fiona isn't surprised by this threat either. Nor does she not take the threat seriously. She looks like she's expecting to be struck. He beats her. And please, nobody say that "he's just angry", that's apologism. Now, I dunno if this was in the script, or if Fiona's face was something Yardley did on his own, but given that this arc ends with Super Scourge announcing his intention to destroy both Mobius and Moebius, simply because he can, regardless of the collateral, I'm willing to bet that this relationship wasn't a happy, stable one. But, unfortunately, this element was never made clear enough. Now, your mileage may vary on whether you think Sonic the Hedgehog comics are the appropriate place to discuss abusive relationships or not, but we've got one now, and Ian dropped the ball. This wasn't a Joker/Harley, where the pairing was clearly abusive but also sold DC/Warner millions of dollars worth of merch, this wasn't a RWBY, where Adam took three years to show up and had already won a huge number of fans from his admittedly cool design and powers, so people already liked him before they even knew what his personality was like. Ian had full control over this, no merch to worry about, and Scourge's prolific appearances gave him plenty of opportunity to make it clear that this was an ugly, repulsive thing that Fiona needed to get out of ASAP. And he didn't. Because panels like this, and all the yelling, clearly weren't enough for the fandom. No, you point this detail out to them and they'll make excuses, try to pretend it didn't happen, or just get offended, or worst of all, outright say they don't care and still ship it. We have fanartists who became real official artists creating stories where this garbage-fire pairing is used for sad feels, not because Fiona got stuck in a relationship with a controlling, violent monster, but because oh no they really loved each other and now Fiona's dead isn't it tragic don't you feel sorry for Scourge? No. No I don't. I feel sorry for the thousands of teenagers who support an abusive relationship because Ian was too cowardly to make it clear that the relationship in question was just that. Now, do I think that Ian is an intentional abuse apologist? No. Do I think he wimped out of taking the necessary steps to make it clear that this was bad because he didn't want people to dislike his shitty pet villain? Oh yeah, I do. Scourge's reputation was more important to Flynn than appropriately and sensitively portraying a destructive, damaging relationship between a woman and her monstrous partner. Well, I say "Woman", let's not forget that Fiona was meant to be sixteen, and realistically if you take her timeline into account she's more likely to be about fourteen. Real fucking classy. Part 8: Effort? What effort? So, now we get to our final criteria. And frankly, it's the easiest one to cover. From the moment, Scourge turns green, his life becomes a cakewalk. Everything he ever wants is handed to him with zero actual struggle on his part. Wants to be stronger than Sonic? He is. Zero side-effects to using a Chaos energy form from a mirror universe, or having a Super transformation interrupted, he just seemingly gets to be half-Super forever. Wants another leg-up on Sonic? Here's Fiona, sans personality. Sonic says he's just a lame ripoff of himself? He conquered a planet in a week, look at how cool he is. Also his team all roll over and make him their leader even though they hate him and they could easily kill him. He gets to walk through the entire FF/Squad teamup, and the Hedgehog teamup, and then when he gets to the No-Zone, Zobotnik, who has kept far smarter and more dangerous characters locked up for decades arbitrarily decides to reform him and gets completely suckered by him. The Destructix fully throw in with him, despite him never actually earning their respect. He never loses a fight where he wasn't depowered first. You know what the irony of this is? Ian has a character whom he is contractually obligated to never have lose for longer than an issue or two. And honestly, he wasn't awful at disguising that. Sonic gets a few wins that feel too easy, but for the most part, the issues with this rule mainly manifest in Sonic's limp responses to the tragedies happening around him, and a sprinkling of minor failures and pyrrhic victories ensure that the rule looks more like shoddy writing in a few places unless you're explicitly told about it. And even then, he still manages to make it look like Sonic struggles to attain those victories, that he has to actually put his back into it every time. He is challenged. Scourge isn't allowed to be challenged. That's the irony. Ian has a protagonist who he is not allowed to have lose, and Sonic still manages to be avoid looking like a boring invincible hero, while Scourge just never faces anything that can actually pose a threat to him. Powerful opponents crumple before him. Characters' personalities and development shift to suit his needs. The plot warps to benefit him. Because heaven forbid Scourge actually have to work for his wins. Who needs stakes when you can have the writer on your side! Part 9: In summation... I think you should've all twigged where this is going by now, so let's wrap up. 1) Does Scourge receive a great deal of favouritism from the author? Yes. 2) Is Scourge more powerful than the rest of the cast, often to the point of absurdity? Yes. 3) Does Scourge face zero consequences for his actions? Yes. 4) Is Scourge liked or respected by characters that have no reason to do so? Yes. 5) Is Scourge in a relationship with a character that has no reason to date him? Yes. 6) Most importantly, does the story will bend over backwards to give Scourge easy wins, even in situations where he logically should struggle? Yes. According to these criteria, Scourge the Hedgehog is almost a textbook example of a Mary-Sue. Which is probably why something as disgusting as him got away with so much. I guess, then, that his role in Revival, and a lot of the stuff before that, is the unfortunate reality of a Mary-Sue who suddenly has to deal with the fact that they're no longer getting that special treatment from the writer. That now their actions have consequences, that now the universe doesn't shape itself to their desires.

[akocomyk]

Twenty-eight books read in 2019.  Sixteen longlisted books.  One person who wastes his time writing sh*t as if they really matter.

Here it is.  The best books I read in the past year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The unfortunate books that I had to let go since I only had ten spots to fill.

Turtles All the Way Down by John Green (2017)

Murder on the Orient Express by Agatha Christie (1934)

History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera (2017)

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd by Agatha Christie (1926)

Bird by Bird by Anne Lammott (1994)

The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith (2014)

*Ratings range from 1 to 5, with 5 being the highest

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

10th Place

56 by Bob Ong (2018)

Rating: 4.300

Bob Ong makes a comeback on my list with his latest novel.  His other book, Si, ranked 10th last 2015.  This is the second time a Filipino book enters the list and is also the second nonfiction book ever—after Into the Wild last 2016.

In his latest release, Ong returns to the writing style that made him famous— reminiscent of his earlier books like ABNKKBSNPLAko.  56 is like a 300-page commentary or editorial about the issues of the present Filipino generation.

Other readers have found the book a little too preachy.  I find it enlightening as it serves as a wake-up call to the Filipinos who are turning their blindsides to the harsh realities of our nation.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

9th Place

Mga Kirot ng Kapalaran (Kikomachine Komix blg. 11) by Manix Abrera (2015)

Rating: 4.445

This is a long-overdue recognition to my favorite comic strip artist (Fun Fact: I met him quite a few times already).  For many years, I've ignored the chance to even put his works in the list of contenders.  I'm not throwing it away again.  Now, I have my first book to enter the top 10 classified under comics and graphic novels.

In this collection of strips by Manix Abrera, his work remains as humorous and as satirically laughable as the first time I saw his comic. Themes have changed to reflect the new trends and issues of our present society.

For as long as Manix draws and publishes his work, I will continue to read them as I know he gives an intellectual yet amusing input to our society's problems.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

8th Place

Mga Batang Poz by Segundo Matias, Jr. (2018)

Rating: 4.450

“Beautiful and relevant, but not flawless,” this is what I said on my review for this YA novel.

Mga Batang Poz is the third Filipino book on this list.  Having three books on the list is a first.  Furthermore, this is also the first time in four years that a Filipino book enters the list.

As previously mentioned, I have certain problems with regard to the overarching narrative of the novel.  I wish that Matias could’ve written something more elaborate or something that doesn’t feel forced.

Nevertheless, the book accomplishes its goal of being a story that advocates HIV awareness, especially towards the youth.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

7th Place

The One and Only Ivan by Katherine Applegate (2012)

Rating: 4.485

In this book, you'll see both the cruelty and the compassion of humanity through the eyes of a gorilla named Ivan who is the narrator of the story.

Ivan is based on a real-life gorilla who was being used as a live animal attraction in Zoo Atlanta.

It is quite obvious that the book is meant for a younger audience, but despite this, I know anyone of any age will be able to appreciate it.  Ivan is a gorilla after all, and I think the simplicity of how it was written suits his character, making the tone of the story more natural.

Overall, it was very touching.  Although it mirrors pretty much what happened to the real-life Ivan, it efficiently delivers its message for animal welfare.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

6th Place

And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie (1939)

Rating: 4.525

This is a mystery novel filled with suspense and everything that'll make you love and hate it at the same time.  The horror it gives chills you to the bone for every page you turn.

Agatha Christie is insane—and I mean that in a good way.  The plot was so well-thought out that even when nearing at the end, I had no clue who the culprit was.  When it was revealed to me, I was like, “Yeah.  That makes absolute f*cking sense.”

For a book that has ten major characters, it does well in handling them.  You know when a piece of literature is brilliantly made when even if its length isn’t considerably long, it doesn’t sacrifice the characters’ backgrounds and the narrative of the story.

Despite the novel’s inhumane and despicable acts, it also addresses issues about criminal injustices that are still prevalent today.  In our country alone, criminals—corrupt officials, master drug dealers, rapists, murderers—are still roaming around the streets, evading the consequences of their actions.   At times when the law is not enforced properly, people resort to their own type of justice.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

5th Place

Darius the Great Is Not Okay by Adib Khorram (2018)

Rating: 4.590

In this debut novel by Adib Khorram, the titular character Darius suffers from clinical depression.  Also, he's a Star Trek and Lord of the Rings fan.

This book demonstrates the fact that real depression is not simply cured by positive reinforcement and bible verses—as what most overly religious people think.

The novel highlights Darius' relationship with the other characters—most especially with Sohrab.  It shows how he copes up with them while he struggles with his mental disorder.

There are also subtle hints of homosexuality, which added to the overall tension of the story since the main characters are Muslims.  It wasn't blatant but it was obviously present—in the right and necessary amount.

To me, this is a spiritual brother of Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz—one of my favorite books.  It gave me the same feeling of awe, beautiful pain, and joyful nostalgia. There were parts that broke my heart—I was ugly crying while riding a bus—and by the end, I was a complete mess, although I'm utterly happy.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

4th Place

Moonrise by Sarah Crossan (2017)

Rating: 4.595

What I love most about this book is how it was written.  Instead of being in paragraphs, it was written in verses—like poetry.  I thought it was creative and oddly fitting for the story.

Even though there are more blank spaces on the pages than letters, those words are enough to draw me into the story.

The novel is about Ed whose brother was up on death row.  I found myself rooting for him, and I was hoping similarly to how he was hoping in the story.  When the end came, I couldn't help myself from closing my eyes.

The narrative was fairly simple, it matches the way it was written.  The characters—although few and also written with the utmost simplicity—feel so human and are not flat, cardboard cutouts.

In the light of all the flawed justice systems and abuses of law enforcers not just in America but everywhere else in the world, it's good to find a book that's bold enough to address such issues and an author who's brave enough to write them.

Lots of murderers are on the loose, yet there are innocent people being slaughtered for crimes they didn't commit.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

3rd Place

On the Come Up by Angie Thomas (2018)

Rating: 4.605

Just when you thought Angie Thomas couldn't write anything as good as The Hate U Give (THUG), she gives us this.  If it's not better, then it sure is as brilliant as her debut novel.

This is Thomas' second consecutive year in my list, with THUG bagging the top plum last year.

The novel is proof of Thomas’s writing prowess.  It successfully immersed me into the life of her protagonist, a life filled with hope, angst, and ambition.  And the dialogue… Especially the rap battles.  They were amazing.  Seeing as Thomas herself was a rapper, you can feel the ingenuity in her words.

Moreso, this is one book that we really need in our present times.  It reflects all of my sentiments regarding social media and how it can make or break a person.  And how much the oppressed and marginalized communities lack representation, and how they are still subject to much prejudice.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

2nd Place

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (2007)

Rating: 4.680

This beautiful novel demonstrates the horror of domestic violence towards women.  It also provides a glimpse of the people and culture of Afghanistan during the times of war.

I'm in love with how Khaled Hosseini's characters flesh out from the pages.  You'd love them.  You'd care for them.  Their agony becomes yours.  Their pain drips out from the corners of the books as your tears trail down your cheeks.

And on their sweet, small victories, you'd give a sigh of relief as the anxiety is slowly drained from your body.

In the two years that I've read a book by Hosseini, it didn't fail to shatter my heart. The Kite Runner ranked first in my 2017 list, and now this. If ever get to read another one of his books, I've no doubt it will also be a contender for that year's list.

━━━━ ☆ ━━━━

1st Place

Thunderhead by Neal Shusterman (2018)

Rating: 4.765

This book is also up on my shelf for the best sequels ever—be it for any medium.

I read this earlier this year and it remained unbeatable until 2019 ended.

This is the second book in Neal Shusterman's Arc of a Scythe trilogy, the sequel to Scythe—which placed 3rd in my 2017 list.

Growth and expansion. These are the things I love about the sequel.  Ronan and Citra, the two main protagonists of the trilogy, are older, wiser, and better people, despite the fact that they're teenagers.  You can feel their struggles with their respective endeavors.

Also, the universe is bigger.  The Arc of Scythe novels feature a world where death does not exist and everyone is biologically immortal.  In order to balance the earth’s population, there are these so-called Scythes whose life-long job is to assassinate anyone they choose.

In this sequel, you get to know more about the mechanisms of their world.  There’s a new main character, Grayson, who takes you deeper and gives you a view of what it's like to live as a normal human.

The book deals with the adverse effects of the ways power-hungry people want to achieve their ambitions.

But that's not why I went gaga after reading the book.

IT.  WAS.  EPIC.  The plot twists within the plot twists.  The narrative.  And the ending.  My god, that ending.  I COULD HEAR MY SILENT SCREAMS.  After the last page, the only thing I thought of was, "GIVE ME THE THIRD BOOK RIGHT NOW!"

Thunderhead isn’t flawless, but it’s a very fine piece of literature that I recommend to anyone who loves to read.

• • • • •

I hope I won't regret putting Thunderhead in first place after a few years.  I regret giving the top spot to I'll Give You the Sun last 2016.  After pondering about the books I've read in the past years, I've found that Anthony Doerr's All the Light We Cannot See is one remarkable and memorable book, and the one I should've given the highest honors.

Books with relevant themes dominated my shelf but the book that won my heart was the one with intricate plots and a phenomenal ending.  It feels weird but I hope for the best.

Happy New Year, everyone!

[zdbztumble]

Final Thoughts: KH III (Spoilers)

OK, the nice stuff’s over with.

And, in the spirit of Kingdom Hearts, here’s a menu to unceremoniously dump all the necessary information on you to follow this post:

Rave Zero

A Minor Rant

More Ranting

Botching Backwards and Forwards

But What About Kairi

Build a Better Prequel

Penultima Raving

The Positives

Now then...

Writing critiques like this is usually fun for me. I like thinking about and analyzing narratives, as mental exercise and relaxation, and because I find it helpful as a writer struggling to make fiction my profession. Finding the good and bad in a piece, understanding why something works or doesn’t, and putting myself in the shoes of a writer - particularly one in the middle of an ongoing series - improves my own craft and gives me more empathy and sympathy for creatives who come under fire.

In this case, though, I can’t say that I have much in the way of sympathy or empathy. I cannot understand how any head of story could come up with something like this and decide that it was ready for prime time. I can’t understand how writers brought in to do the actual scripting wouldn’t speak up about its issues. I can’t understand how editors, producers, and executives would sign off on this. And by “this,” I mean the finale of KH III. I haven’t loved the story turns this series has taken since the end of II, and I’ve struggled to make sense of all the convoluted turns the plot has taken, but this - or, to be specific, one moment in particular - is completely beyond my ability to understand, relate to, or tolerate.

Before getting to that one moment, though, there are other issues with this finale. One of those is the problem of paying off too large a cast: it’s almost impossible to do while giving every character a satisfying conclusion. By the time the game comes to its conclusion, most of the characters have either hit dead ends in their arcs, petered out, or been demonstrated to be entirely superfluous to this game’s plot. To wit:

- Maleficent and Pete could have been cut entirely and nothing would have been lost. Cutting them would even improve the pacing of the Olympus world slightly. Their whole goal amounts to nothing but a tease for an item that might become important in a potential future game. Luxord’s quest for a “chest,” presumably the same Black Box, has the same problem, but at least Luxord is a part of the Organization and so has some reason for being in the story.

- Ansem the Wise is ultimately on-hand just to tease more potential future events and characters, in the form of allusions to a mysterious girl who I thought might be Kairi, then thought was Xion, but is apparently some other character never before mentioned (thank you @themattress.) I bought KH III to play and know the story of KH III; if I wanted an extended trailer for a future game that may not even get made, I’d pay for one.

- Those members of the Organization who don’t defect, and who commanded quite a bit of screen time in this game (more than the damn tritagonist did) are virtually unchanged from their previous appearances, still serve as glorified henchmen, and meet largely identical ends. The attempts at pathos with them, particularly with Larxene, ring hollow, and the idea that the recompletion gimmick might let them appear again some day in a new form is...unpleasant.

- Did you really need Ienzo and Vexen both? Take either one of them out, and the other could have cooked up the necessary replicas. 

- Axel’s never-seen training with a Keyblade amounts to almost as little as Kairi’s, as he ultimately doesn’t do much but serve as an impetus for the return of Roxas and the defection of Xion. And once those two are back on the scene, they don’t have all that much to do but point their keys at whatever the group needs them to. Their presence takes us over the required number of seven, so they are quite literally unnecessary.

- Vanitas and his quest to assimilate Ven ultimately amounts to nothing, for how important it was in BbS and his continued seeking it here. He becomes just another boss battle, destined to fade away.

- Aside from filling out the full seven, Aqua and Ven don’t get all that much to do in the battle. Terra and Sora do the heavy lifting in getting Terra liberated, and by the end, Eraqus tells Terra to be the one to look out for the group. Not Aqua, the master who spent most of BbS trying to set things to right - Terra, the impulsive quasi-Anakin Skywalker who ended up possessed by the villain.

- Riku and Mickey are the exception to this, as I think carrying them through as Sora’s battle partners in the showdown with the three young Xehanorts, and giving them the bulk of the dialogue in the final cutscenes, gives them a meaningful role to play in the finale.

But since Eraqus has been mentioned...that leads us to the next problem. Because I still don’t understand how Eraqus managed to hide his heart inside of Terra’s (and yes, I have seen the BbS cutscene.) But setting aside the mechanics; the idea that Eraqus has been alive this whole time, that he can stop Xehanort with a gentle talking-to, and extending the metaphor of their chess game in their youth this far, makes everything that happens feel so much smaller. And giving Xehanort - a villain who was made, in looks and personality, more evil from BbS on - is a baffling choice. He isn’t the first villain to have a less-than-convincing redemption in this series, of course. And, were it done better, I might be more tolerant of it. But it isn’t.

And having that about-face brought about by Eraqus lessens Sora’s part in the finale. His brave venture after Xehanort, Donald and Goofy by his side, makes for a nice boss battle. It’s less impressive than the one in KH I IMO, but I do like that Donald and Goofy are with him for nearly the entire thing. The Trinity revival at the end of it is a great touch, though I would’ve preferred some sort of beam struggle to cap it off. But one of Sora’s qualities - one that this game, and DDD, loved to spell out as blatantly as possible - is his ability to reach and connect with people. Outsourcing that to another character, leaving Sora as the brute force in the conflict with Xehanort, leaves him and one of his most defining and positive character traits sidelined at the crucial moment. I grant you that Sora probably isn’t all that well disposed to the man who killed Kairi, but you would think he’d have some function beyond swinging his blade and holding a key.

But in the end, the apocalypse is averted, and Sora leaves his friends behind to try and save Kairi. Cue the closing cutscene, with happy endings aplenty. Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Yen Sid, Chip, and Dale get a warm welcome home in Disney Castle. Terra, Aqua, and Ven get their home back, and Ven gets his little cat thing that he apparently had once. Axel, Roxas, and Xion get their sea salt ice cream again, reunite with Hayner, Pence, and Olette, and it turns out that even Saix is on-hand (because, y’know, that bond he had with Axel was so organic and essential to pay off.) Namine is brought back (according to a recent interview, this is possible because her heart was released from Kairi’s when Kairi was killed), and Riku turns up to take her to a big party on Destiny Islands. With literally everyone on-hand, Donald is the first to notice Sora and Kairi sitting on the paopu tree together, holding hands. Kairi looks up at Sora, smiles, and starts to cry. Sora then fades away, leaving Kairi alone.

Now we’re at that moment.

I was so confused the first time I saw this scene, and watching it in the theater menu a few times didn’t help. Talking with @echidnapower about it helped me puzzle together that Sora must have paid the price for abusing the Power of Waking. It was hard to track those warnings amidst all the other pretentious monologuing and schoolyard taunting that the Organization did, and amidst all the other plot threads in this game - but, fair enough. That was some clear foreshadowing. And, just like with Kairi’s death, I can’t object to the idea out of hand. KH I ended on a shocking bittersweet note, after all. Ending the Xehanort saga, and possibly the series, with the main character failing to heed all warnings and losing his own life while managing to save the person he cares most about, is a bold idea. Pulled off properly, I’d be in tears while writing my review, but I’d be applauding the guts and skill of the creative team.

But is Sora’s quest to find Kairi made into a final stage, or even a cutscene? No. Is his final misuse of the Power of Waking shown? No. Is it even clear whether Kairi reappeared at the same time as Sora, or if she’d been there on the beach with everyone else before he turned up? No. And is any of this, in any way, made a central element of the final scene? No. The possibly permanent death of our protagonist, caused by his final solo quest to save Kairi, is such an afterthought at the end that not a single aspect of the journey to that moment merits any screen time.

And don’t tell me that this might be something covered in the DLC, or that it could be setting up for another game. If they wanted to leave Sora and Kairi’s fate more open-ended, and a potential hook into a future game, they should have been left out of the final scene altogether. The Power of Waking, Sora’s shaky control of it, and its dangers were meant to be relevant to this story. Sora and Kairi’s bond being stretched to the point that one or both of them could permanently die was meant to be a major factor in this story. I’m all for leaving certain things off-screen, open-ended, or open to interpretation, but if anything should merit some degree of resolution within this game itself, to say nothing of a goddamn cutscene, it’s the potentially final fate of our fucking hero.

It feels like such an afterthought that I’m forced to wonder why Sora was ever retained as the protagonist past KH II.  One solution to the current crop of issues with Kingdom Hearts, as I’ve already gone into, would have been to simplify; fewer titles between console releases and a much less convoluted story that stayed focused on the actual leads. But it’s almost impossible not to come away from the post-II games feeling that most of the staff’s passion has drifted to other characters and elements. Axel, Roxas, and Xion; Terra, Aqua, and Ven; all the convoluted plotting and betraying and cryptic messages of Organization XIII; and now all this X business; it seems clear that that’s where the focus is now. Square Enix is no stranger to cyclic and anthology series; there was more than enough precedent to retire Sora and friends and continue Kingdom Hearts with new protagonists. Those who enjoy all these elements could have them unadulterated, and those of us who prefer Sora’s story could be content with three great games. Hell, Kingdom Hearts as a whole could’ve been retired at II, with the characters and elements most favored forming the foundation for an original series; the staff still seems jazzed to cross over with Disney, but they’ve become increasingly unable to meaningfully connect those worlds to the larger story, excepting a handful of characters from Disney Castle. An original series wouldn’t have to worry about that.

Instead, an ultimately untenable path was trod, trying to keep all of these things to play, the ultimate price being a final game to the saga that leaves every single storyline feeling less than it could be. Kairi may get the worst of it blow by blow, but I would say that Sora - the protagonist - is the second-worst hit, and that I cannot comprehend as a writer.

When I first got the feeling that something bad might happen to either Sora or Kairi, or both, I was prepared to be sad at the end of this game, but I expected to be sad the same way I was at the end of KH I - in an ultimately positive way, having been sincerely and surprisingly moved by a story I came to love. At the end of KH III, I’m sad in another way entirely; I’m sad because I feel nearly all my enthusiasm for this series evaporated along with Sora. I was planning to buy copies of I, CoM, and II to replace the ones I had to sell years ago; if I end up doing that when I have the money, it’ll be as an effort to get back to what first charmed me about the series.

Hopefully, I can still find that charm there, but I don’t know what would make me excited for future releases. What reason do I have to hope that the flaws of the recent games, culminating in III, will be corrected or even recognized as flaws? The Epilogue and Secret Movie certainly don’t give any hope. For all the talk about III being the finale to the Dark Seeker saga, the convoluted Keyblade War lore it spawned and at least one of its more annoying characters seem set to continue on. The Nameless Star and that girl alluded to by Ansem (who I hope for simplicity's sake are the same person) represent yet another new character shoved into the mix. And the Secret Movie may give some people hope for Sora, but it just left me numb.

I’ll go ahead and predict what the next game of the series, if there is one, will be, based on those two scenes: either the game is ostensibly about what Sora went through to save Kairi, with a retcon pulled to suck Riku into the mix; or, it’s set after the final scene of KH III, with Riku - not Kairi, but Riku - going in search of Sora. Either way, in practice the game’s plot will be taken up by a mess of a plot concerning the Black Box and/or the Book of Prophecies and all that crap from Kingdom Hearts X: Back Cover (a movie I could not bring myself to finish, I was so bored), all the while taking any chance it can get to salvage as much of the aborted Final Fantasy Versus XIII as possible. Kairi will be lucky to get a cameo, the Disney worlds will barely have any relevance, Maleficent will get elbowed off to the sides, and if Sora comes back to life and remains the hero, he’ll still be relegated to a spectator and an afterthought to make room for all the things that the team really cares about.

Cynical, you say? Bitter, perhaps? You’re not wrong. And I’d love for another Kingdom Hearts game to come out and make me eat crow. But for whatever joy Kingdom Hearts III brought me as a game, it’s been a truly painful experience as a story. With no pleasure, I can honestly say that in terms of a failed narrative; in terms of completely missing the mark on where the focus should lie; and in terms of feeling like an almost deliberate insult or dismissal of what made these characters and this series wonderful to begin with; no narrative with the Disney name on it, or perhaps at all, has left me so upset since Maleficent. And for me to be saying that, is saying something.

[oscar-isaacs-number-one-bitch]

“Assassination Nation” Movie Review

It’s difficult to pin down one specific way to describe Assassination Nation. The sophomore effort from writer/director Sam Levinson (son of legend Barry Levinson) is so chock full of energy and pure, unadulterated, gen z-style righteous fury that any focus on one particular genre, even insofar as the film’s brief exploration of those genres, really doesn’t play much into the overall narrative or even thematics of the film’s central premise (which, believe me, is absolutely one of the most visceral experiences you’ll have this year) except to show the audience that “hey, bet you thought we wouldn’t go there/include that, did you?” In fact, the most apt description of any genre this film might be pinned to is more of a feminist pulp horror/satire, a genre which, between this and Coralie Fargeat’s Revenge, is getting a serious boost in 2018, and justifiably so. This means that what we’re left with as an audience is more an experience and a message than an actual story, but one that’s told with such creativity and commitment to the more absurd parts of what story it has that it starts to feel just real enough to be legit.

The big central conceit of the plot is (at least at first) more a play on the idea of character assassination than a literal one (though that does become part of it later on) as an unknown computer hacker begins targeting a few select people and dumping all of their person data onto the internet for the public to view, and because this is conservative small-town America (at least as far as the older characters in the film are concerned), this information happens to contain a lot of explicit and often overtly sexual material not only inconsistent with but often in direct contrast to the views these characters claim to hold. The problem is, they’re not the only targets, and once the hacker starts targeting the younger inhabitants of the town (most of them teenage girls from a local high school), including our four main characters (played by Odessa Young, Suki Waterhouse, Hari Nef, and musician Abra), eventually people start looking for someone to blame due to the high paranoia and “concern” for public safety. Somehow (in a way I won’t spoil here), the target gets turned on these four teenage girls, and because this is a town called Salem (yes, that’s literally the name of the town), this is going to go down almost exactly how you might think it does.

If two paragraphs ago is where I laid out what kind of film this was, this is the one where I lay out what kind of impact it has and what makes it impactful. I won’t concede it being perfect or even particularly well-made in terms of editing, production design, screenwriting, or even character development, but it is damn near impossible to deny the impact that the film has on the viewer upon the introduction of the end credits. This is not your typical fun grindhouse teenage slasher type of horror satire. The film’s opening 30 seconds literally include an entire barn-full of trigger warnings for blood, violence, homophobia, transphobia, fragile male egos, more violence, blood, and gore, nationalism, mob revenge, and explicit reference to sexual assault and coercion.

What makes all of these so potent though, is that this is the generation raised on the “fun,” stylized kind of violence, taking on that kind of violence as their own, but presenting it realistically, hence the trigger warnings right at the beginning. None of it is pretty, none of it is fun, and very little of it is actually positive right up until the very end. The actual murders that occur are gruesome and heinous, the bloodshed is harsh and uncompromising, and the notion of a town called Salem trying to find seemingly any excuse to turn its literal rifle scopes on teenage girls as the central problem to something that is not only in no way their fault couldn’t be less subtle or poignant if the main character’s name had been Abigail or a Proctor family had been present. In order to even sell most of this, the burden is placed on the performances by our four central characters, and these actresses do an admirable and impressive job not only selling it, but getting you to buy into the deluxe package (particularly in the cases of Hari Nef and Abra, who themselves are completely three-dimensional characters not just subjected to being “the trans and black ones.”)

In fact the greatest positive takeaway from the whole endeavor is the sheer energy of its underlying thematic weight of a feminist power fantasy. The pulp horror/satire not only serves as a jumping off point for the fury of its pacing and visceral aggression of its explicitness, but also as a springboard for its narrative literally playing itself out not only as feminist pulp horror narrative, but as explicit message to the Trump administration and those who continue to support the ideals held up by it in this day and age that they know how these people tend to treat/judge the opinions, dreams, hopes, wishes, and even bodies of teenage girls, and not only are they justifiably and righteously angry about it, they’re not taking this lying down, no way in hell. That’s a level of boldness you can only get in these in-your-face, “maybe cult hits someday” types of films that come out between the summer movie season and the winter awards rush, and it really has to be seen to be believed. It’s more of an experience than it is a film proper, but filmmaking has never been, nor should it ever be, one kind of thing, and making films grounded more in an audience experience than a story in their own right, is sometimes necessary to remind us of that fact. I was damn glad I actually got to catch this one before it left my local theater.

There are a few negatives to the film; I didn’t forget about those, although it’s difficult to really care as much about them afterwards. The editing is a bit jarring sometimes, some of the other supporting characters are pretty shallow even for purposefully not having much to them in the first place, the script (while certainly hyper-aware of shallow teenage conversation nuances) isn’t exactly the best, most of the characters don’t really change and what change there is barely registers, and the whole mystery of who the actual hacker is eventually gets lost once the film reveals that it’s really more of an introductory piece to what the film is actually trying to say, so the story point just kind of drops until a very sudden turn at the very end that doesn’t exactly feel earned, but again, this is more of an experience than a film proper anyway, so who’s really counting.

This is the kind of film that will definitely define the lines of a generational divide in terms of how much one appreciates and understands what it’s attempting to do/trying to say, and also in terms of personal enjoyment (basically it’s one that your parents might think is terrible, but certain members of your extended family might think is still pretty interesting even if they don’t fully enjoy it themselves). It’s certainly not for everyone, and definitely not for the faint of heart (if the abundance of trigger warnings in the teaser trailer and opening 30 seconds didn’t give it away), but it’s definitely an experience worth having if you can handle what it throws at you in terms of sheer, visceral, feminist rage. Perhaps the greatest “well that was unexpected” experiment in filmmaking in 2018, it may not be the best of the year by a two-point shot, but it should definitely be counted among the must-sees.

I’m giving “Assassination Nation” a 7.9/10

[shiningrey]

thoughts on tlj

so its no secret that im not the biggest fan of riad johnstones fucking flaming mess of a movie. and i think finally, after a slew of smaller rants, i’m finally emotionally stable enough to summarise how i feel about tlj as a whole star wars movie; my views on which can be summarised in a quote from this awesome review; ‘the impersonal nature of star wars is starting to give me the creeps’ (and fuck how it is). through its awkward dialogue (and awkward delivery), odd and jarring self depreciating comedy, broad mischaracterisation, sweeping commercialisation, unnecessary subplots and resulting laborious run time, and overall complete lack of any creative, visual, narrative and underlying thematic originality and flair that defined the original trilogy, this blunderous commercial failed to resonate with a large percentage of audiences (myself included). hating this movie the way that i do has made me unbearably upset, just really fucking sad, because i love star wars, i love its characters and creative originality, its unique flavour. tlj has kind of just left this behind completely. and trust me, we’re allowed to critique this film because when one is given all the materials to make a star wars movie (namely $200 million), there is little excuse for producing something that is anything less than incredible, plot holes and flaws become inexcusable.

(cont under the cut, spoilers obv)

for general cohesion i’ll list my arguments in dot points (because if i write paragraphs i’ll just start getting sad again and ranting) - this mostly has to do with characters as opposed to broader narrative issues

➣ the complete disrespect and mischaracterisation of luke. his character integrity and development is sacrificed (and even regressed) purely for the purpose of rian johnson’s shitty marvel-esque humor. (which i talk about here) 

➣ THE HUMOR. oh my god, its absolutely strange, terrible and out of place. its self aware and self depreciating, completely ignoring the flavour of past star wars humor. (for example the alien tiddy scene, the poe and hux scene?) ‘A phrase often repeated in reviews is that the movie is self aware, and they’re applauding that as though it is a new benchmark in intelligent filmmaking. For me this isn’t the venue for that. The constant winking to the audience is not boldness, but a lack of confidence in the material. It was hyper colloquial, trying to be hip’ x. this is a good example too

➣ finn & rose’s entire subplot was a literal sidelining of poc characters, the narrative of which ultimately culminates to.. absolutely nothing? they add maybe 40 minutes to the run time but contribute absolutely fucking nothing to the plot. the story seemed to target the audiences ‘feels’ but seemed strangely devoid of emotion (explained well here), and sadly i think the romance felt forced (despite this i think kelly and john did an awesome job and i love them both)

➣ REY is completely shunted into just another character in kylos redemption arc, which feels like such huge disrespect to a character that i love and look up to, my thoughts on this summarised in this awesome post. (and kylo mostly sulks for the majority of the film? i literally cant take him seriously as a villain anymore, and this) 

➣ snoke was just killed off? we learned absolutely nothing of what ‘it’ is, character background & motivations, why is it so powerful with the force etc. such a waste. same arguments can be made for phasma.

➣ hux, who is established as what could possibly be a genuinely threatening, and interesting character in tfa, is immediately shunted into a comedic role, literally just there to diffuse the tension (the tension being a huge part of what makes these films fun to watch). this is one of the most obvious examples of jj’s hard work on tfa going to waste, a whole character is now absolute trash. i mean watching this (hux’s speech) it becomes so evident that rian has squandered his potential (and domnhall is an amazing actor as well so like yeah...what a fucking waste)

➣ the dialgoue.. the characters bark out their inner monologues and motivations like they’re hosting TED talks on mindfulness, infusing the film with this awful emotional sterility. And heaps of the lines feel strangely out of place in a star wars film? for example when poe says ‘i’ll hold’? and when they refer to the jedi order as a ‘religion’, which seems openly sloppy as i don’t think this is done in any other star wars film?

➣ leia (my favourite star wars character of all time) spent most of the film silent.... Awesome. (AND WHEN SHE FLIES THROUGH SPACE.. DEADASS I CANT!! but like humor aside didn’t she renounce the use of the force because of her fathers misuse? hm). her dialogue was just bad and her very minor slice of screen time left me feeling pretty fucking disappointed, she seems to now be reduced to just ‘kylos mother, lukes sister’, which sucks more than i can describe, carrie deserved more respect.

➣ and i mean.. the blatant attempts to create merch for disney (it seems to have rightly backfired), at least wookies had a place in the narrative

➣ rian’s plot seemed really formulaic but somehow still in a clunky and strange way, just really lacking in any creativity. (for example on crait when poe says ‘theres only one way in and out’, but not 5 seconds later they’re shown a ‘secret’ exit, this just seems lazy)

➣ the casual destruction of what were probably hundreds of rebellion lives, picking off the ships one by one toward the climax of the narrtive? i mean an argument can be made that this was necessary to the plot (i don’t make this argument at all), but regardless it sat wrong with me that this blasé mass murder was brushed over. we feel nothing for these hundreds of dead characters? this seems really really wrong - the complete opposite of what Rogue One was trying to accomplish

➣ the beauty of the CGI visuals often felt patronising. like i was meant to sit there and mindlessly go ‘oooh’. whilst i was appreciative of the CGI during certain moments, generally i just felt it didn’t really excuse the empty plot and characters. 

➣ even more minor things, where was the ‘i have a bad feeling about this’. did rian even watch the other movies????? for a movie thats referred to as pure fan service, it sure does a poor job at servicing fans

so all these things culminated to create a super bland, flattened, sterile and commercial star wars movie, with no actual creative vision (besides some admittedly beautiful visuals), disney has failed to create a star wars movie. even jar jar binks was, for better or worse, a bold creation, nobody could say he was a rehash of pre-existing characters, and tlj lacks this quality utterly and completely. in trying to both adhere to the structure of previous films, whilst also being ‘different’, it loses its sense of cohesion entirely. not to mention this movie is completely out of sync with tfa, besides basic plot points it seems to have no continuity whatsoever. all of jj’s beautiful work on tfa characters and dialogue, has gone to waste. i look forward to him salvaging the burning scraps of this trilogy.

maybe i am reading into this too much, maybe i am critiquing for no good reason, and the reviews would certainly suggest that. but this movie has really upset me, not only in concern for star wars, but for the wider film industry, the business of blockbusters, sequels and ‘subtle’ commercialism. the future, it seems, does not look bright. 

[pplydm]

ePUB#35

Title: Eight Perfect Murders Author: Peter Swanson

Commenced May 15 2020, Completed May 16 2020

Stumbled upon this while watching thriller recommendations and I’m quite intrigued with its premise. This was about a book store owner that was confronted by FBI agents regarding his long-ago blog post about murder novels and to a large degree, about his life. Since it’s all going to be on the topic of perfect murders, I assent mr Swanson,the writer, necessary including FBI characters. Glad to have Madame Agatha Christie authored book on the (technically a) blogger’s list of perfect murders. I guess that notion propelled me to engage reading this despite a somewhat unpleasant review from that recommendations video.

Noting that my first impressions of main character Malcolm was calm, collected, intelligent and an introvert. Props to Malcolm for the courageous attempt meeting his chat mate face to face. That’d be the last thing on my mind if I was him, because I’d be utterly dead scared. Maybe Malcolm was really that bold in the first place but the author did a great job convincing me that he is incapable of murder. Almost alike with the narrator from “The Murder of Roger Ackroyd.” There was then, definitely, a huge character development. I consider now this was a book inspired by the aforementioned Agatha Christie novel, especially the narrative in the closing. I sense the author is driving me to different conclusions as to whom Malcolm’s coconspirator is. Turned out I disapproved the ending revealing who Malcolm’s literal partner in crime was; that part was crummy. Another, I don’t understand involving an FBI and not maximizing their role until the end. Perhaps, a lot of other finale resolutions would’ve worked. The sole creative portion in here, major bonuses I daresay, is the apparent commending and referencing of thriller and suspense books, either classic or contemporary.

Overall, this read’s not going to be my favorite, nonetheless sends forth chilling vibes. I had to put down my kindle to absorb and lessen the imminent fright for some parts. My mind’s precisely so active thinking the endless possibilities for the appropriate gruesome plot twists.

No one knows what’s going on in another person’s mind, or in their heart.

[jungblue]

→ writing & other tips!

Hello! This entire post is essentially stemming from the fact that I get messages often about the subject of writing / running a writing blog, and what advice I have in the area. In all honesty I’m not sure how new this information will be to anyone looking at it, but it’s more so to serve as something I can have linked in my FAQ, for anyone interested in my opinion on the matter. This post will be updated as I think of more things to include, but the basics that will be covered is writing advice, writing-blog advice, and just my overall opinion on certain aspects of writing in general on a public platform. 

↠ Running a Writing Blog

My initial advice for this is just going to be technical / formatting aspects of posting your writing. Nothing all that earth shattering, just creating masterlists, links in your bio, dealing with demands kind of stuff.

Formatting

When it comes to formatting, choose one that really displays what your fic is about. For example, my usual format is: Pairing, Genre, Word Count, Description, Gif / Banner. I find this important just because I think some people might underestimate the importance of a good format. Because if I’m being honest I usually won’t even click on a fic if there’s no word count. Not to say it’s necessary, because I’m not here to tell people specifically the 100% way to run a writing blog, but this is just my experience / personal preference. 

Tagging

Now once you’ve got your fic written and post formatted, next you have to put some tags. I tend to use very broad general tags such as, bts fanfic, bts scenarios, bts smut, bts angst, ect. Once you get into specifics there are tags such as seokjin fanfic, yoongi scenarios, hoseok smut, ect. This simply allows for people to find your fics when searching. 

Creating a Masterlist / Linking

Once your first scenario is posted you might want to make a masterlist to post in your bio. This probably isn’t new information for some, but I get an ask about links every couple of weeks, so I figured we might as well cover all of the bases. In order to create a masterlist, simply open up a new text post, type in the title of your fic (or however you’re wanting to organize it), get the url to your fic and copy it, highlight the title you’ve written on the text post, a series of buttons should appear above, choose the one that is the fourth from the left (it looks like an infinity sign), paste the url into the box that appears, and you have yourself the start of a masterlist. Once you have that done you might want to link your masterlist in your bio. In order to do so you simply:

1. Go to edit theme

2. Paste this code into your bio <a href=“url of masterlist”>masterlist</a>

3. Replace the things I’ve put in bold with your actual masterlist url, or whatever you want the link to be called, so masterlist, writing, mlist, ect

Dealing with Demands

It’s unfortunate, but more than likely you’ll get a demanding ask at least once in your tumblr lifetime. Sometimes it’s asking for updates, requesting repeatedly, or someone just being plain rude. To combat against the update asks, make an FAQ. It’ll cut down on some of the demands, but of course not all. As for the straight up rude anons / users, just block them. Don’t give them the satisfaction of allowing them to stay on your blog. If you really want to respond, screenshot it and answer it that way, but still block them. This is your blog. No one has the right to be demanding of you, and to make it a place that you come to detest. 

↠ The Actual Writing Part

I would say the first piece of advice I have about writing in general is to make sure that you’re writing for the right reasons. This is only because I’ve seen a common trend of people saying how stressed writing makes them, to the point of them actually hating it. I think this is because before people start posting on tumblr, they sometimes don’t get what comes along with it, or some aren’t necessarily doing it for the right reasons (of course regardless of anyone’s reasons, it’s your hobby, so really do what you want! this is simply an opinion).

For instance if you’re doing it strictly for notes, you might be highly disappointed when the pwp smut that took your three hours to write gets a 1,000 notes, whereas that fic that took you three weeks to plan out, and six weeks to write gets 300. It’s going to really stunt your creativity if you’re doing it strictly for that particular reason, because unfortunately the previously mentioned scenario is quite common. Or there are some who start writing because they want to have a ‘popular’ blog of sorts with lots of followers who will message them… But unfortunately even with a lot of followers, people just tend to not send messages for the most part. You might really love a fic that you posted, but get maybe six or seven comments on it. So again, if that’s your specific underlying reasoning behind wanting to post your writing, it might not turn out how you expected. 

I just wanted to say the above points because I see it time and time again, and I don’t want people to get discouraged if it’s not what they were expecting it to be. Don’t get me wrong, as a writer on this site, I appreciate so, so much the notes / comments / ect that people give to my fics, but if that is what’s specifically tethering you to the craft, then you might not enjoy your time posting on tumblr. But again, this is your choice, so if you want to write simply for notes or for whatever reason, then obviously that’s completely fine! I’m mostly just saying the above because writing can become tiresome after a while if it doesn’t bring the outcome you’re expecting and it’s not something you truly enjoyed in the first place.

Okay, so now that I’ve gotten this disclaimer out of the way, I’ll try to give tips on writing, sorry if they’re generic. Honestly, my writing process is really simple, so I’m not sure how helpful this will be, but I’m going to try my best. 

Forming an Idea / Plot

This is probably the simplest part. Just the general idea that you want to write about. Not the details, just the main focus. Sometimes it can stem from just knowing what au you want to tackle, so college au, expecting parents au, werewolf au, ect. Or perhaps you don’t know the setting yet, but you know the conflict or emotions you want the characters to elicit. Maybe you just know in your head that you really want to write a Jimin fluff. With that you can sit back and mull over what the best template for displaying that would be. So maybe a first date, anniversary, cute frat boy takes you to the greek formal, it can literally be anything. So really play around with things. Write that vampire hanahaki au or fic that’s so cheesy you cringe (I’ve written many of those lol). Just explore the wonderful world of genres or aus, because in the end you should write what you want to write. 

Planning

This section is quite flexible. I mean all of these points are flexible, but this one most certainly. If there’s one thing that varies to a great degree between each and every writer it’s planning a fic out. There’s hundreds of methods, and you really just need to find the one that works for you! I personally have a very simple approach to writing. I’ll use Loving Him, Loving Her as an example.

1. Simply think of an idea: Unrequited love + best friend AU

2. Make mental bullet points of plot: flash-forward scene, the oc and Taehyung meeting, time-skip, party at Taehyung’s lake house, sex scene —

3. Write it out with this loose template

4. Once the writing process is over, go back through, re-read for misspellings, grammar issues, spaces where a bit of added narrative is needed

5. Post

It’s honestly a very simple process, but it’s what works best for me, and everyone is of course different! Personally, planning a fic out down to the very scenes, just doesn’t work for me. Because then when I’m writing I feel very constricted. I much prefer just having a vague idea of what I want the plot to be, and tackling it that way. However, again this is my approach, and it’s obviously okay if it doesn’t work for everyone. Lots of people love to outline, and that’s a totally viable option. Plan out each scene, one by one, jot down the emotions, dialogue, actions, ect that you want to happen within the scenes. That way once you go to write your fic, everything is planned and you just have to follow the template you’ve set for yourself. 

These are just two methods of the many that there are. Eventually, after writing a lot, you’ll find a specific process that personally works for you!

Process

Writing can honestly be really stressful. Even if the constant asks for updates or demanding messages don’t bother you. Sometimes it’s just stressful because you want to write, but it just isn’t coming as easily as you would like. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve sat in front of my laptop, wanting to write, but then I just blank. It’s incredibly frustrating to have a plot locked in your head, and knowing exactly what you want to happen, but then not being able to find the words to formulate it. So just understand that it’s okay to take breaks, to throw away a wip, to take a seven month hiatus on a series. It doesn’t mean that you should give up on writing, it just means that you need a break, a change in direction, or just something. People get burnt out on things they love all the time. Sports, drawing, writing, whatever it is, you just have to understand that it’s all a part of a process. 

Know when to take breaks. Put your health at the forefront of everything, because finishing a fic isn’t worth jeopardizing that. Understand that the fic will be there tomorrow, the next day, and the next day, so take your time!

Again, I know all if this is stuff that you’ve all probably heard, but sometimes people ask for my writing advice, and this post pretty much encompasses my opinion on writing and the process of writing / posting on a public format such as tumblr. I hope it was somewhat helpful. Just remember that this is supposed to be fun. Don’t let the stress destroy your love for writing if it’s really something that you honestly enjoy!

[musepirations]

hey sien, hope you're doing well! we're a semi appless skeleton roleplay based off of the bold type and we were wondering if we could please bother you for an opinion? thank you so much and we hope you have a great day/night!

❞ HELLO LOVELY !! Mind you that this is just my opinion, and you know these can differ. The last thing I want to do is criticize or be rude. I hope this may help you out, sweetheart !! Find the opinion on SCARLETHQS bellow the cut !! Xoxo ❞

RECOMMENDATION ? yes, absolutely !! go check ‘em out !!

* ✰. — icon & url ❞

i like your url !! it doesn’t immediately hint at what your roleplay is about, but that’s not necessary -- now i definitely have a reason to look into your roleplay a little further to find out. your icon is simple but nice and but seeing your plot, i think it fits just perfectly !!

* ✰. — main ❞

it’s a nice theme to use as main because it’s very easy to navigate on and clear. i like that you kept a light colour scheme and decided not to overload on busy graphics or something. it’s simple, but it works and i like it. i’m also a fan of your background ?? i really like that picture and the psd you put on it. i think that’s about all i can say about the main -- clear and easy, so just perfect !!

* ✰. — pages ❞

i’m going to run over the most important pages here, cupcakes !!

navigation: once again, simple. but i feel like that’s just how a navigation should be. all the needed links seem to be on there, so i guess that’s about all i can say about it. perhaps you could consider a small banner graph for you pages, but that’s just a detail. and seeing that your theme is rather simple, i don’t think it’s a needed feature. it’d just be nice and that would make the pages pop a bit more… i can help you with that, if you need help . just let me know if so !!

plot: i like your plot !! it’s quite original and i think it’ll pique people’s interest. i’m always a sucker for a nice magazine roleplay, and you’re in luck ‘cause i don’t think there are a lot of them around right now. i think that’s all i can say; there might be a little grammatical error in your first paragraph, when you’re talking about the magazine and you refer to it as ‘themselves’ instead of ‘itself’ ?? though i’m not a native speaker so i’m probably just wrong !!

rules: complete !! i’m sure every relevant subject is covered which is great !!

application & app count: i like your application -- it’s basic but it gives applicants room to be creative and i like that. your appcount is clear as well !!

characters: i like your skeleton page and i like the faces and labels you’ve picked !! it’s nice that you’ve added a little pop up to the page ?? great job there, sweethearts !!

i think those are the main pages !!

* ✰. — over all impression & advises ❞

not much to remark, honestly !! i'm glad to see a rather original, magazine roleplay hitting the tags. your main is nicely structured and easy to navigate on, and i like the roles you’ve written out. it’s obvious that you guys put a lot of time and effort into this, and i definitely hope it’ll be appreciated in the rpc  !!

* ✰. — recommendation ? ❞

sure thing, go check ‘em out !!

[mst3kproject]

206: Ring of Terror

This was the only episode in the show's entire run where they showed the movie before the short.  I assume this was because they wanted to get the damn thing over with and forget about it as quickly as possible.  I sympathize.

Ring of Terror begins with a graveyard custodian, who looks rather like a corpse himself, calling to his cat Puma as if he intends to molest it.  He happens across a gravestone belonging to a Lewis Moffitt, who supposedly died at twenty-two – we then flash back to meet this 'young' man, a dedicated medical student who claims not to be afraid of anything.  Blood doesn't shake him, and rattlesnakes merely piss him off.  His one terrible, secret fear?  Zombies.

For a fraternity hazing, Moffitt is dared to steal a ring from a corpse.  When he tries to do so, he is startled by Puma the cat, thinks the corpse is coming to life, and dies of a heart attack on the spot.  I think we're meant to assume that the fraternity brothers were deeply sorry and promised never to haze anybody ever again, but there's no denoument.  We just cut back to the graveyard custodian, and the movie ends.

A good indication of the general level of creativity on display here is that the screenwriter, Lewis Simeon, and the main character, Lewis Moffitt, have the same first name.  He named the main character after himself.  Bert I. Gordon at least named Glenn Manning after the actor who played him.

Let's begin by dealing with some of the most obvious badness in the movie.  As Joel and the bots observe, repeatedly, almost all the actors are way older than the characters they're supposed to be playing.  It's hard to tell the difference between the students and the professors.  George E. Mather was forty-two when he played twenty-two-year-old Lewis Moffitt.  That's gotta be some kind of a record.  Esther Furst, playing Moffitt's girlfriend Betty, can't be that much younger, but I’m not gonna complain too much about that.  I mean, how creepy would it be to have an actual twenty-two-year-old playing opposite Mather?  Apparently this was something that figured prominently in the original reviews, too – when people think your actors are too old in a business that's used to overage movie college students, you know you screwed up.

The acting is distractingly bad, stilted and recited.  Everybody looks bored – in a scene at the snappily-named Campus Cafeteria Club, the dancers look bored, the diners look bored, the band looks bored.  Even the skeleton in the dissection theater (hanging out in between shoots for Teenagers from Outer Space) looks bored!  The only characters in the whole movie who honestly seem to be having a good time are Tiny and Ragdoll, who are there to be the butts of a series of fat jokes.  It's not funny the first time, and it gets less and less funny as the movie progresses.

Actually, Tiny and Ragdoll probably show more character – in the sense of both personality and fortitude – than the rest of the cast put together.  Tiny refuses to starve himself to gain the fraternity's approval.  He'd rather hang out with people who accept him for who he is.  He feels ill and momentarily passes out at the autopsy, but does not leave the room.  He thinks Ragdoll is the most beautiful girl at the school, inside and out, and does not qualify it with references to her weight.  Ragdoll herself enters a beauty contest, apparently not a bit bothered by the possibility of ridicule.  They appear to be a committed, happy pair who honestly adore one another, and they're the only couple in the movie with any chemistry or anything in common. Just let them eat their ice cream and be in love!  You wish you had that kind of confidence!

The bad actors get no help at all from the terrible script.  Simeon barely even attempts to give anybody a personality, and everything that happens feels contrived, as if the entire movie is serving a plot purpose rather than showing us natural events.  We are more told what people are like than we are shown. Characters inform us that Betty is intelligent and devoted, but we don't really see any evidence of either.  Betty says she feels like there are two sides to Moffitt, always battling for control, but he seems like one person, one bland and boring person, to us.  We are told that Moffitt brags and swaggers because he's proudly not afraid of anything, and that this behaviour upsets Betty, but we never see it.  Actually, since she uses the phrase 'they say', perhaps this is rumour with no truth to it, but we don't see anybody else talk about it, or any other effect it has on Moffitt or his reputation.  We hear that Wayne Arnold, the boy who died in a car accident halfway through the film, was a daredevil and close to the others, but we never met him – or if we did, nobody ever called him by name.

The movie is also a study in padding.  The framing story, with the custodian and the cat, exists merely to make the movie longer (and to emphasize that, despite all evidence to the contrary, Moffitt is twenty-two years old).  All the 'comic relief' with Tiny and Ragdoll is padding.  Moffitt wanders around the mausoleum for far longer than necessary, also padding.

Then there's Moffitt's scare, which is supposed to be the whole point of the film.  In a previous scene, he let a friend in on his one fear: as a child, Moffitt had to sleep in the same house where his grandfather's corpse was waiting to be buried, and his mother told him that if he didn't stop complaining and go to bed, the body would get up and 'give him a licking'.  He's had nightmares about it ever since, and sleeps with the light on.  And yes, that's scary – but I'm not sure what it is about this particular situation that reminds him of the incident.

At the funeral home, with Arnold's corpse laid out in a coffin and comfortable surroundings, the lights go out and Moffitt immediately panics as he remembers his chidhood scare.  That makes sense.  But in the clinical environment of the autopsy room he shows no fear of the John Doe corpse whatsoever.  When he finds it later in the mausoleum, it's stored away in a drawer and the environment doesn't appear to be particularly dark.  It's clearly not as dark as it was in the funeral home, and Moffitt has no trouble reading the signs and lables.  The setting is completely different.  The music suggests that the ring is somehow important in Moffitt's mind, but we don't get an explanation for this.  Was his grandfather buried with a similar one?

Why is Moffitt given such a dangerous and illegal fraternity assignment at all?  The other characters' hazings are harmless. One guy gets doused with Coca-Cola, another has to dress up as Cupid and surprise couples making out, a third has to go begging for pennies, and Tiny is merely asked to lose some weight.  Yet Moffitt is told to break into a place, desecrate a corpse, and steal a piece of jewelry? What sense does that make?

Not to mention the rather obvious fact that the movie makes no attempt to scare the audience. Rather than trying to put us in Moffitt's shoes, where we might experience the heart-stopping terror along with him, it presents its story in a dry, textbookish way that lacks interest or mystery. From the very beginning we are told how it ends, with the shot of Moffitt's headstone, and it continues to be dull and predictable from there. Nothing in the script is even surprising, let alone scary, which comes across as an absolute ripoff in a movie with such an evocative title.

Now, let's talk about how this movie depicts women.  I honestly wonder if Lewis Simeon ever met a woman.  He clearly had no idea what they do when there are no men around.  Maybe he thinks women are quantum waveforms who only collapse into actual people when they are observing or being observed by men.  None of the female characters in the movie appear to have lives of their own.  When we see them, they're talking about their boyfriends.  Or going to the Cafeteria with their boyfriends.  Or visiting the beauty parlour to look nice for their boyfriends.  Or entering beauty contests for the approval of their boyfriends.  Are they even at school here, or are they just hanging around so that the boys can get laid?  None of them appear to study or even attend classes.

Oh, silly me, they're all taking Home Economics!  They don't have to study when cooking and sewing come so naturally to women!

The women are also notable for their peevish selfishness.  They collectively give the boys the cold shoulder for 'abandoning' them at a dance in favour of attending an autopsy.  As Moffitt points out, though, they must have known that attending the autopsy was necessary for obtaining full course credits.  Perhaps if the women have no lives outside of the men, they assume the men should not have lives outside of them?  Betty is an exception to this, as she's annoyed with Moffitt over the rumors of his bragging rather than because he stood her up, but as I noted above, that doesn’t make sense either.  I'm kind of astonished that we never get a reference to the idea that they're all just dating medical students in the hopes of being wealthy doctors' wives someday.

At the end of this movie, Joel asks the bots if they can name something good about it.  Nobody can, but I think I've got one: despite what Crow says, I'm pretty sure they did use a fake snake for the scene in which Moffitt stomps it to death.  The snake in the back of the car was probably an Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake, but it is never seen in the same shot as any of the actors and I expect they had a professional snake handler to work with it.  The snake Moffitt stamps on does not show the rattlesnake's bold markings, so if it wasn't rubber it was at least not the same snake.  I hope it was rubber.  Killing things just to put it in a movie is inexcusable –I'm looking at you, Ruggero Deodato.

Do I get a ram chip?