#bottled up storms c1

[perseusannabeth]

Bottled Up Storms - Chapter 1

So this is something I started writing thanks to a prompt I received (shout out to the anon who sent me that). I’m sorry that this has taken me so long to write, but my job has been kicking my arse so I haven’t had much time to write. I originally was going to write this as a one shot but lmao oops it turned out a little too long and I have too many ideas so now it’ll be a multi-chapter fic. 

This is a pregnancy fic for Nessian. I don’t really know much about being pregnant so everything is from google so I’m sorry if I get stuff wrong. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know if you want to be added to my tags list!

Description: Nesta and Cassian have been living in the Illyrian mountains for some months now, and they had it all figured out. They mostly ignored each other, and seemed to be getting by. However, after one drunken night together, they must deal with the consequences of what they have created together, both the new life they created, and the lives they have created for themselves.

This is also posted on AO3

Word count: 4511

They didn’t talk about the fact that they’d had sex. It was a one-time thing, and something not to be repeated as far as they were both concerned. They had both been drunk and they needed to feel something. There had been tension lingering around them ever since Nesta had been ordered to go with Cassian to Illyria. The tension was normal around the two of them, it had been there ever since they had first met, which felt like a lifetime ago. The tension had built until it was going to burst. That’s what had happened that drunken night.  

Nesta found she was fine not talking about what had happened between them. She didn’t want to talk about the mind-blowing sex, the way Cassian had looked at her like she was his world, the way he had held her after, how it had made her feel calm and safe, the way she’d had the best nights sleep since Gods know when, the way she had woken up to him staring at her with such love and wonder that she couldn’t breathe. Cassian hadn’t spoken about it either. He had just watched her as she left his room. The weight of his gaze nowadays was suffocating but different reasons. Now it was heavy with the memories of that night, of what they could be if she wasn’t so broken, and if she hadn’t been such a coward and left. 

Nesta was content to go about her life at the blasted camp her sister had dumped her at, barely seeing Cassian. She carried on with her routine of going to see Emerie in the shop. She would help if she needed it, but Emerie so rarely had customers that she did things herself just so she could keep busy. After spending a few hours with Emerie, sometimes talking and sometimes sitting in comfortable silence, she would wander around the camp, sometimes watching the training of the women, sometimes tiring and going to the cabin she shared with Cassian and reading one of her books. 

Very occasionally, Nesta would wander down to the healer’s tent and help them. She worked in silence, just doing as she was told, but the work was good for tiring her out and keeping her hands and mind busy. It made her feel useful, something she had not felt in a long time, maybe not ever. 

She hadn’t felt the need to drink herself into oblivion like she had done most nights in Velaris. Maybe the distance had helped, but Nesta still couldn’t bring herself to thank her sister for sending her away. Even when she and Cassian had… made their mistake that night, she wasn’t anywhere near as drunk as she could’ve been. She just pretended she was after it had happened so that Cassian wouldn’t talk to her about it. She was eating too, although that was a bit more hit and miss. She was shocked to find that the alcohol she could easily leave, but the punishing her body, the not eating, that was harder to do. Still, she was making progress and eating something is better than nothing. Her lack of drinking meant she was throwing up less, meaning she was slowly starting to look healthier. Her nightmares did cause her to throw up though, so the food didn’t always stay down. She still couldn’t make much of a dent in the food that Cassian plated up for her, but she still felt a small amount of pride for eating what she did. 

Which is why she was confused. She was being sick in the morning, despite the fact she hadn’t drank any alcohol since that night with Cassian. She wouldn’t even have it with her meal, just in case her control slipped. The alcohol made her too free, which was dangerous around Cassian.

This was the third morning in a row now, where Nesta had been sick. At first, she had thought it was food poisoning, but Cassian was fine and he always cooked for both of them. Plus, she had felt better later on in the day. She had gone to the healers who told her she wasn’t ill. They had offered to check her over more extensively, but Nesta refused, hoping whatever it was would go away. 

It hadn’t. Because of course, of course, things could never be that easy for Nesta. This morning was particularly bad. She was sat on the floor in the bathroom and had been for the past half an hour. She didn’t want to risk getting up because every time she did, she felt sick again. Cassian was (thank the cauldron) at his morning training session, and wouldn’t be back until dinner. She had the cabin to herself for the day to deal with whatever this was. 

She decided to move to the sink to rinse her mouth out with water. She didn’t want to risk going into the kitchen to get a glass, just in case she was sick again. As she stood up, her body protested, and her stomach churned. Nesta took a deep breath in the hopes it would calm her stomach, but she had no such luck as she once again leaned over the toilet bowl, slowly sinking to her knees again as she retched again. 

Nesta always prided herself on being well aware of her surroundings. However, while she was being sick, she didn’t notice Cassian coming back into the cabin. Nor did she hear his footsteps getting closer and closer as he followed the noises she was making. 

Cassian stood in the doorway of the bathroom and stared at Nesta who had now stopped being sick and was leaning against the bathtub, panting. Nesta glared at him, but without as much heat as she would’ve liked, exhausted from throwing up for half an hour. 

“Are you alright?” Cassian asked, seeming to break himself out of whatever was going on in his head. 

“Do I look alright to you?” Nesta bit back, taking deep breaths as her stomach churned again. She closed her eyes, willing her stomach to settle, hoping that the cool feeling of the bathtub against her would help. 

“A little too much fun last night?”

“Yes, it was a joy, sitting in my room all night, reading my book until I fall asleep, not having to be around you,” Nesta replied, angry that he would imply she had been drinking. 

He seemed thrown by that. They both knew that she wouldn’t lie about the drinking, she had never felt the need to before. She wasn’t ashamed of her chosen coping habit, it wasn’t hurting anyone else, just herself. It shouldn’t bother everyone as much as it does, but if they choose to worry about her drinking habit then that’s on them, she didn’t care. Or so she would keep telling herself.  

“I… are you saying you haven’t been drinking?” Cassian asked, unable to keep the shock out of his voice.

“I haven’t drank any alcohol since-” she cut herself off, unable to say that she hadn’t touched alcohol since that night they had shared. 

Thankfully, Cassian seemed to realise what she was about to say and just cleared his throat awkwardly and gave her a small nod. “Okay then, shall I get a healer?” 

“No, I’ll go down myself, I’m fine now anyway.” Nesta tried to slowly move, but it was no use. Her stomach churned again as she turned quickly to the toilet before being sick again. 

Nesta’s whole body shook as she was sick, she could feel her energy draining with each time she heaved, her nose and mouth, filling with the acidic smell and taste of her vomit. She couldn’t believe she was vomiting this much, not when she didn’t think she had this much lining her stomach to even get rid of in the first place. She felt a warm hand slowly rub her back as she threw up, so softly it hurt her heart. 

Eventually, her body stopped, perhaps running out of things to force out of her, although Nesta was not very hopeful. Her body was clearly punishing her for all the havoc she had caused when she was drinking her meals. She leaned back against the bathtub once again, Cassian’s hand still so soft and warm on her back. She could feel the liquid around her nose, mouth and the tears that had escaped as she had been sick leaving marks down her cheeks. She closed her eyes, wishing Cassian was anywhere but here, wishing he wasn’t seeing her like this. 

Perhaps Nesta’s wishes come true quickly, but perhaps that’s only true when her wish is something that will hurt her. Cassian slowly stood up and left her in the bathroom. He returned briefly with a glass of water and some tissues to try and clean her face up as best he could. She would have stopped him, and his soft movements as he wiped her face, but she didn’t have the energy to stop him, to yell, to be a bitch and push him away. Not right now. But maybe she could do it without even trying because she closed her eyes and felt him leave, and heard the front door open and shut, and the cabin was once again was empty. 

Nesta sat on the floor for what felt like an age. Time seemed to pass differently when you’ve been sick all morning. She waited until she started feeling a bit better, her legs not feeling as weak or shaky, her stomach settling down slightly, her nose stopped stinging, her eyes stopped watering. She slowly moved herself to stand up, trying to keep her movements as smooth and slow as possible, in the hopes it wouldn’t make her sick again. 

Her limbs felt too heavy for her, her body exhausted from being sick. She didn’t have the energy to deal with people, she didn’t want to speak to anyone or see anyone. She wanted to sleep. Even though she was sleeping better than she had been, her sleep was interrupted, bitty, and more like she was taking several naps at night rather than getting proper rest. She didn’t bother undressing or undoing her braided hair. She simply walked over to her bed and collapsed, feeling grateful that her room wasn’t far from the bathroom.  

She closed her eyes but knew that despite the exhaustion her body was feeling, her mind would not let her sleep. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about Cassian’s hand on her back. It was the first time he had touched her since that night. It hurt, that he didn’t want to touch her again unless he had to, but she understood. Things were so messy between the two of them, they needed space between them. Nesta couldn’t think when she was near Cassian, and when he touched her it felt like he had lit a fuse. She was sure that if she hadn’t been otherwise occupied when he had touched her, she would’ve reacted differently. She was glad that she hadn’t since she had been embarrassed enough for one day. 

Cassian clearly felt she hadn’t been embarrassed enough, however, because he returned, and she could clearly hear the voice of another person with him. She recognised the voice of the healers from the tent that she helped out in. Their footsteps grew closer, and Nesta, in her panic, decided that she would pretend to be asleep. 

“Oh,” was all that Cassian said as he opened the door and saw her fully dressed and asleep on top of her covers. She had been so exhausted that she couldn’t even muster the energy to get under them before they had arrived. “Shall I wake her?”

“It’s okay general, you can go and wait elsewhere. I will wake her up and speak to her,” there was silence, Cassian not moving away like he had been told to. Eventually, he let out a small sigh and walked away into their shared living space as the healer shut the door behind him. 

“You can stop pretending to be asleep now. You may have fooled the general but that won’t work on me.”

Nesta slowly opened her eyes and looked at the healer. She was short, with dark brown hair, tied in a neat bun. Her wings were clipped, but she seemed to carry herself in a way that suggested she was fairly old even for fae standards, and she wore the typical healers uniform, which was immaculate. In fact, everything about this woman was immaculate, which put Nesta on edge even on a normal day. After three days of being sick every morning, Nesta wanted nothing more to hide under her blanket. She did not give in to her urge to hide, however, and slowly sat up on her bed, hoping not to make the queasy feeling turn into something more again.   

“I know we’ve seen each other around the tent, but I’ve never had a chance to speak to you before. I’m Theodora. I heard you were throwing up this morning? Is this the first time you’ve done that?” As she asked the questions, Theodora set her bag down on the foot of the bed and started rifling through it and putting things onto the bed. 

“I’m Nesta. And no, this is now the third day this has been happening. It seemed to calm down yesterday afternoon so I hoped that it was just a stomach bug that had passed.” 

Theodora looked up at her in surprise. “Three days?”

“Yes although I have been feeling a bit queasy for much longer than that, I just learnt to ignore it.”

“Hmm okay, and how long have you been noticing my queasiness?” Nesta paused, unsure if she should divulge all her secrets with the healer, in case she told Cassian or anyone what she had been suffering recently. As if able to sense her worries, Theodora added, “Nothing you say will be shared with anyone else without your permission.”

Slightly comforted that if someone was to find out at least she would have warning, Nesta decided to share her troubles. “I’ve been feeling sick ever since my last period.” 

“How long ago was that?”

“It was supposed to be 2 weeks ago, but it never came. That isn’t unusual though. I’ve put my body through a lot, my periods are never predictable.”

Theodora pursed her lips and nodded to indicate she was listening as she looked through her healer’s bag once more, a small frown on her face. When she found what she was looking for, she inspected it, before looking up at Nesta. 

“This is a routine question I ask every female, so please don’t get offended, but is there any chance you could be pregnant? Just so I can choose my treatment method correctly.”

Nesta froze. Pregnant? Surely not. Fae pregnancies were difficult and rare, she knew that. With what Nesta had been putting her body through before coming to Illyria, she wasn’t even sure she could do that right now. There was no way she could be pregnant, could she? But then a flash of blurry memory hit her, stumbling into Cassian’s room, the desperation, ripping each other’s clothes off and “oh fuck could I be pregnant?”

“I, erm, I don’t know,” was all she could stutter in a small voice, her throat constricting, making it difficult for her not to cry. She didn’t know for sure, but she suddenly had a very bad feeling about all of this. 

“Right then, we will do a pregnancy test first in that case. I’ll just go get you some water because I’ll need a urine sample to find out for sure,” Theodora smiled at her before walking off towards the kitchen. 

Nesta remained frozen on the bed, staring at the open door. She could hear Cassian speaking to the healer, but she couldn’t focus on what was being said, she couldn’t focus on anything. She was pregnant, she knew it as soon as Theodora has asked. This was just another way to punish her. It was probably that damned cauldron’s idea of a joke. Of course, she would get pregnant after the one time she slept with her ma- with Cassian. It was like the cauldron could tell that she would run, avoid him, push him away. But if she was pregnant with his child, then she couldn’t do that. Nesta would need him, would want him to be involved if she had his child.

Before she could go even further into her thought spiral, Theodora came back with a large glass of water, which she handed to Nesta as she shut the door again. 

“The general tried to ask me questions, but don’t worry, I put him in his place and told him it was up to you to share any details with him,” Theodora said in a matter of fact tone. 

Nesta couldn’t reply, so she simply gave a small nod of acknowledgement and started drinking her water. Once she had finished the entire glass, she put it on her bedside table and finally drew the courage to look at the healer who was now seated on the other end of her bed. 

“What happens if I am?” Nesta couldn’t bring herself to say that word out loud yet. 

“Then you have options. You don’t have to keep it. But if you decide you do then we can help you learn more.” There was no judgement in Theodora’s voice. Just soft, kind words, letting Nesta take control of a situation which already felt too out of control. 

“What happens if I don’t want it.” Nesta could only whisper the question, looking down at her hands to avoid looking at the kind woman sat in front of her. She didn’t feel like she deserved the kindness, but right now she didn’t have the energy to stop her from being so kind. 

“Then that is your decision. We would tell you about the process, what we do, how it works. In the end, it would just be like heavy bleeding, nothing more.”

“I thought that fae pregnancies were…” Nesta trailed off, not knowing what she was going to say. Her mind was spinning with so many thoughts, she could barely think straight. 

“They are very rare, and when people want to be pregnant, then it is considered very blessed. But not everyone wants to keep that child. Not everyone’s circumstances are happy or healthy. Not everyone can afford to have that child. There are so many factors in pregnancies, not just someone putting their penis in a vagina.”

At the impassioned speech from Theodora, Nesta looked up to see something she couldn’t quite name painted across the healer’s face. All Nesta knew was that she felt understood. She felt unjudged and knew Theodora was not pitying her or the situation she was in. That helped calm the thoughts spinning around in her head. 

"I don't know what I want." Nesta looked down at her hands which were folded in her lap as she finally admit out loud what she had felt since she had emerged from that cursed cauldron. Before that, when she was human, things were simple enough. Her ambitions were simply to marry someone so she could live comfortably. As a woman, Nesta was well aware that she needed someone to look after her and provide her. That was not the case for her in this new Fae world, the possibilities seemed endless for Nesta. However, Nesta felt overwhelmed with the amount of freedom she had suddenly gained in this new world, she had no idea what to do with it.  

"You have some time. Think about it. It's early days yet. Finding out you're pregnant is always a shock, it can take some time to come to terms with that. There are other options too. Many Fae can't have children, so there's always the idea of adoption. Many loving parents would happily raise your child if you are not able to. You can choose to be involved if you want to, or not at all. The possibilities are endless." Theodora started packing her things away, not looking at Nesta as she spoke, which Nesta was grateful for.  

"I... thank you." 

"You're welcome. If you need someone to talk to, just know that I will all always be kept confidential. Even the high lord and lady could not make me break my oath to the people I serve. You know where to find me if you need me Nesta." Nesta gave a small nod, still not able to look up at the healer.  

“Do you need the bathroom yet?” Nesta thought for a second and then nodded. Theodora handed her a vial and instructed her to try and gather as much urine into the vial as possible, which seemed disgusting but Nesta went to the bathroom to do as she had been told. 

She came back and handed the vial to Theodora, cringing as she did. Nesta sat back down on the bed as she watched Theodora put a leaf, which she had kept out of her bags into her urine sample. The leaf floated and started to shrivel up as soon as it was emerged in the urine, turning a funny orange colour with little brown splotches on it. 

“What does that mean?” Nesta whispered, not being able to look away from the leaf. 

“It means that you’re pregnant my dear.” There was a short silence, as though Theodora was waiting for Nesta to say something, but when she didn't Theodora spoke again, breaking the awkward silence. "I will prepare the herbs you will need to drink in your morning tea and send them along to you. If you drink the tea from the herbs every morning, it should help with your morning sickness. If it persists despite the tea then let me know." 

"Thank you," Nesta murmured again, as though unable to think of what else to say in the face of such kindness from a virtual stranger, still trying to process what she had just been told, that her suspicions were correct. Theodora simply nodded and left the cottage, not even glancing at Cassian as she left.  

Cassian walked up to Nesta's room after Theodora left, leaning on the door frame and looked at Nesta's pale face as she stared at her hands, but not really seeing anything. It seemed Nesta was miles away, so he cleared his throat in order to get her attention. 

"Is everything alright?" His eyes looking over her body for signs of an injury, as though there would be something he could see on her body causing her to be unwell. 

"I'm fine," Nesta said, looking up at Cassian finally. He was trying to look casual, as though there was nothing going on, but Nesta could see the tension he was holding in his shoulders. He was worried about her. The realisation came with a large amount of shock. She couldn't quite believe that he was worried about her. Perhaps her shock got the better of her because before she could stop herself, she blurted out "I'm pregnant." 

Nesta's eyes widened as she cursed herself internally for not being able to keep her mouth shut. She looked up to see Cassian, to see he had frozen in shock, his eyes wide, staring at Nesta. Nesta could feel her heart beating in her chest, the tears starting to fill her eyes as Cassian said nothing, and just stared at her with different emotions flitting across his face, too quickly for her to guess what they might mean.  

"I... who? Is it... am I?" Cassian eventually managed to choke out, his eyes drifting to her stomach almost unconsciously.  

"It," Nesta paused, wondering if she should lie, not tell Cassian he was the father, wondering if she could somehow take all of it back. But she knew she couldn't when she saw Cassian looking at her flat stomach. His expression had finally settled on something, and that was hope. Nesta knew after spending time in the Illyrian camps, that Cassian's childhood had been terrible. She knew that Cassian would never, not in a million lifetimes, abandon this baby. "It's yours." She whispered, a tear managing to escape her eye. She quickly wiped it, but knew that it hadn't gone unnoticed. Nothing Nesta did ever went unnoticed where Cassian was concerned. 

"Do you want it?" Cassian asked softly. She knew that he would never begrudge her if she wanted to get rid of the baby. She could see, and she knew, that Cassian would love this baby with everything he had, but if Nesta decided she didn't want this baby, he would never hold it against her, and never stop her from getting rid of it. If she allowed him to, she knew he would be with her every step of the way for that too, even if it broke his heart.  

"I don't know." She closed her eyes, hoping that it would stop any more tears from escaping. 

"I'll stand by you, whatever you choose. You know that, right?" Cassian asked, almost desperately, like he needed to know that she knew this was her choice, and he would never leave her. The desperation in his voice reminded her of the metallic smell of the blood that the ground soaked up, his warm body beneath hers as he gasped for air and told her to leave him to die alone. 

Nesta couldn't get the words out, they got stuck in her throat. She choked out a small sob, unable to stop herself, and gave him a small nod, overcome with emotions. Before she could try to compose herself, to put up the icy exterior she relied on so much, she felt something warm and solid wrap around her. Cassian was silent as he held Nesta in his arms, something he hadn't done since the night they had spent together. Nesta finally let herself cry, unable to keep her emotions at bay any longer.  

 When she felt like she couldn't cry anymore, like she had run out of tears to cry, she slowly pulled away from Cassian's chest, where he had been holding her and stroking her back, telling her everything would be alright. She looked up at the male who had been by her side every step of the way, whether she wanted him there or not.  

She could feel her exhaustion taking over her, hitting her like a hammer. She tried to search for something to say, but didn't know how to put into words what she was feeling, not when she didn't even understand her emotions herself.  

"You should rest," Cassian said softly, as he moved her so she was lying down on her pillow. He pulled her blankets over her, smoothed her hair down and kissed her forehead. Nesta was asleep before he had even left the room, feeling calmer than she had any right to be.

Tags list: @hizqueen4life @kelly-fasel @sannelovesreading @acourtofmarauders @maastrash

[sapphirelass]

G'night <3 - Harry Potter x Sister!Reader

Hi!!!! So... It's been what - like 250-something days since I last posted? What happened? Well

1: I graduated 'high school'/'upper secondary school' (it's not exactly the same here in Sweden, but... you know? ;)

2: I received an A on my C1 advanced test

3: I passed all tests, and finally got my driving/driver's license...

4: I got into UNI, wihooo :D

it's been a busy few months, to say the least :)

But I'm back! I wouldn't call this the best thing I've ever written, but I still feel like it's good enough to post. I'm also working on a few other projects, so keep an eye out for that ;)

Note: I will probably have to reread this one more time and check for potential errors, but it's late, so I'm just going to trust Grammarly and post it for now! Enjoy

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Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

+ CEFR level C2 (due to passing the C1 advanced test with an A)

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Word count: ≈ 1,3k

Warnings: Mild swearing, mentions of stress and lack of sleep

Enjoy! :)

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(Y/N) - Your name

(Y/N/N) - Your nickname

(Y/H/C) - Your hair colour

(Y/H/L) - Your hair length

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G'night <3

It was raining. Again. But not just ‘raining’ - it was POURING DOWN - and despite the castle not being surrounded by dementors this year, everything still felt… dark? Cold? Something was changing, and though the ministry refused to listen, (Y/N) was sure that it was a direct consequence of Voldemort’s recent return. She hadn’t slept well the past few months due to nightmares intruding and disturbing her as soon as she started drifting off, thus explaining why she was still awake despite it being almost three AM.

She shifted slightly and used her right hand to push her (Y/H/L), (Y/H/C) hair out of her face. She didn’t find herbology particularly interesting but had decided to use the night to finish as much homework as possible. It’s not healthy, but if you’re unable to sleep, why not be productive instead? (Y/N) kept writing but was suddenly interrupted by a voice whispering her name.

“(Y/N)…?

She turned around, accidentally knocking her bottle of ink over in the process, muttered a quick ‘shit’, and spotted a certain redhead on the staircase leading to the boys’ dormitory.

“Oh, Hey, Ron…”, she mumbled as her close friend quietly made his way to the sofa and sat down next to her. “Why are you up? I didn’t wake you, right?”

“No..?”, he said while placing the now empty bottle on the table. (Y/N) waved her wand swiftly and watched the black-ish liquid disappear from the red carpet beneath them. “No, I woke because of the storm - listen, why're you still up?”

(Y/N) sighed deeply and leant her head backwards while rubbing her eyes tiredly. She could feel Ron staring at her, but opted for silently looking out the window instead of meeting her friend’s questioning gaze.

“(Y/N/N)? C’mon…”

“Can’t sleep… It’s really not more complicated than that. I know I won’t fall asleep, so why try?”

“Oh my-! (Y/N)!”. Ron grabbed (Y/N)’s left arm and turned her around so she was facing him. “Usually you’re better, but occasionally you’re just as hopeless as Harry. You can’t just… I don’t know - stay awake forever?! I… Have you at least talked to him about it?”

“Are you crazy!?”, she whispered angrily. “Ron, of course I haven’t. Do you honestly think that would help either of us?”

“Yes! Yes, I do! (Y/N), I want to help you, but I really don’t think I can. Now, I don’t know how many nights you have gone without sleep, but I do know that your brother has woken me up pretty much every night these past few weeks. Since the two of you are clearly having the same problem, maybe you sho-”

(Y/N) had closed her eyes and was leaning ever so slightly away from Ron whose voice had gotten louder and harsher. She wasn’t usually so… fragile? Sensitive? However, her abnormal childhood had left its mark on her, and it got especially bad when people she knew well were angry or frustrated. Ron knew this but realized his mistake too late.

“Hey, (Y/N/N).”, he mumbled, now much calmer. He slowly moved his hand towards her and placed it carefully on her shoulder once he was sure she didn’t flinch or recoil. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Listen, I just worry, okay? About both of you. Seriously (Y/N/N) - I’m aware that a lot is going on, but Harry wakes up in nightmares if not every, then every other night, and you’re not sleeping at all - it’s not healthy. It’s not always easy to ask for help, but maybe you don’t have to do everything alone all the time? You have friends, (Y/N/N)! We’ll always listen, but if you don’t think we’ll understand, Harry definitely will. Do me a favour, if you don’t wanna talk to me, talk to him, please?

(Y/N) took a shaky breath, moved closer to Ron and let her head rest on his shoulder. He put his arms around her and began gently playing with her hair.

“Thanks”

They sat for a moment, doing nothing but watching the moonlight shining through the window and enjoying each other's company. Ron was about to ask (Y/N) something when he noticed the girl slowly drifting off to sleep with her head on his shoulder. He pushed some of her hair behind her ear and listened to her steady breathing. It was calming somehow, and Ron would have fallen asleep himself if not for the sound of his name being called from behind.

“Ron?”

Turning around quickly, yet carefully, Ron’s eyes met his best friend’s.

“Harry.. Ehm.. Why'ru awake?”

“Nightmare…”, said Harry slowly, noticing his sister sleeping soundly on the sofa. “What’s your excuse?”

“Ehmm…”, mumbled Ron, shifting awkwardly. “I-She-I woke up and heard something, so I went down here and found her still doing homework. Has apparently been sleepin’ just about as good as you.”

Harry sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “I asked her about that a few days ago… said she was fine. Why wouldn't she tell me?”

“My best guess? She probably didn’t wanna bother you. To be honest, mate, it’s not like it’s been an easy year or anythin’.”

“She could never bother me!”, exclaimed Harry, probably a bit too loud. “She knows that!?”

“Shhh…”, mumbled Ron uncomfortably. “We should probably let her sleep… Look, are you saying you talk to her every time you have a bad dream or… you know - feel down?”

“I guess not, but…”

“Then why are you expecting her to?”

Ron moved (Y/N) and put her head down on the armrest before standing up.

“Look, maybe if you tell her about your struggles she’ll tell you about hers? I don’t know, maybe I’m the wrong person to ask, but it sounds about right to me…?”

“Yeah…”, muttered Harry. “I guess b-”

He turned around quickly when he heard (Y/N) mumble something incoherent.

“Hey, (Y/N/N)?”. He walked closer to the sofa and squatted down by his sister, who was now sweating and whimpering softly - clearly suffering from a bad dream. Harry shook her gently, but she moved away from his touch as her breathing became rapid and shallow.

“(Y/N/N)...”, Harry sighed deeply before taking both of (Y/N)’s hands into his own. He hated the thought of his sister struggling so but knew from experience that it was inevitable. She suddenly inhaled sharply and sat up.

She looked around frantically, but Harry brought her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

“Shhh… Shh, (Y/N/N), you’re fine. I’ve got you, I’ve got you…”

She was breathing even faster and struggled against him, but Harry simply tightened his hold.

“Hey, hey, (Y/N/N)? Shhh… Shhh… (Y/N)! Look at me, please?”

Their eyes met, and eventually, (Y/N) calmed down enough to breathe normally. She sighed deeply and leant her forehead against her older brother’s torso. The common room was completely silent until Ron decided to awkwardly clear his throat and mutter something about going back to bed.

Harry and (Y/N) remained quiet for a while, but eventually, (Y/N) decided to speak up.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry…”

“(Y/N/N), don’t apologize, please! You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I know, bu-”

“No”, said Harry, to which (Y/N) sighed.

“But”, she continued. “I still feel silly every time it happens.”

“I get it, (Y/N/N), you know I do. And I know it’s hard to talk about, but… You help me all the time - would it kill you to let me do the same?”

“Philosopher much?”, said (Y/N) with a slight smile. “You’re right, though… I guess I should have told you, it’s just...“

“Again, (Y/N/N), I get it! Listen, why don’t we both try to get a couple of hours of sleep and then talk tomorrow? It sounds like we might both need it, okay?”

“Yeah”, yawned (Y/N), now realizing just how tired she actually was. The thought of going to sleep still frightened her, but knowing that her brother was close made her feel comfortable enough to give it a try. “Sounds good to me. G’night Haz.”

“Night, (Y/N/N). Love you”

~ L

Masterlist

[sapphirelass]

G'night <3 - HarryxSister

Hi!!!! So... It's been what - like 250-something days since I last posted? What happened? Well

1: I graduated 'high school'/'upper secondary school' (it's not exactly the same here in Sweden, but... you know? ;)

2: I received an A on my C1 advanced test

3: I passed all tests, and finally got my driving/driver's license...

4: I got into UNI, wihooo :D

it's been a busy few months, to say the least :)

But I'm back! I wouldn't call this the best thing I've ever written, but I still feel like it's good enough to post. I'm also working on a few other projects, so keep an eye out for that ;)

Note: I will probably have to reread this one more time and check for potential errors, but it's late, so I'm just going to trust Grammarly and post it for now! Enjoy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please note:

1: I don’t own any of the gifs used, nor any already established characters, so credit to the authors and original creators - You have done a phenomenal job :)

2: English is not my native language, as I was born and raised in Sweden. I have, however, studied English for almost a decade, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem, I just thought I’d let you know ;)

+ CEFR level C2 (due to passing the C1 advanced test with an A)

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Word count: ≈ 1,3k

Warnings: Mild swearing, mentions of stress and lack of sleep

Enjoy! :)

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G'night <3

It was raining. Again. But not just ‘raining’ - it was POURING DOWN - and despite the castle not being surrounded by dementors this year, everything still felt… dark? Cold? Something was changing, and though the ministry refused to listen, Lucy was sure that it was a direct consequence of Voldemort’s recent return. She hadn’t slept well the past few months due to nightmares intruding and disturbing her as soon as she started drifting off, thus explaining why she was still awake despite it being almost three AM.

She shifted slightly and used her right hand to push her long, red hair out of her face. She didn’t find herbology particularly interesting but had decided to use the night to finish as much homework as possible. It’s not healthy, but if you’re unable to sleep, why not be productive instead? Lucy kept writing but was suddenly interrupted by a voice whispering her name.

“Lucy…?

She turned around, accidentally knocking her bottle of ink over in the process, muttered a quick ‘shit’, and spotted a certain redhead on the staircase leading to the boys’ dormitory.

“Oh, Hey, Ron…”, she mumbled as her close friend quietly made his way to the sofa and sat down next to her. “Why are you up? I didn’t wake you, right?”

“No..?”, he said while placing the now empty bottle on the table. Lucy waved her wand swiftly and watched the black-ish liquid disappear from the red carpet beneath them. “No, I woke because of the storm - listen, why're you still up?”

Lucy sighed deeply and leant her head backwards while rubbing her eyes tiredly. She could feel Ron staring at her, but opted for silently looking out the window instead of meeting her friend’s questioning gaze.

“Luce? C’mon…”

“Can’t sleep… It’s really not more complicated than that. I know I won’t fall asleep, so why try?”

“Oh my-! Lucy!”. Ron grabbed Lucy’s left arm and turned her around so she was facing him. “Usually you’re better, but occasionally you’re just as hopeless as Harry. You can’t just… I don’t know - stay awake forever?! I… Have you at least talked to him about it?”

“Are you crazy!?”, she whispered angrily. “Ron, of course I haven’t. Do you honestly think that would help either of us?”

“Yes! Yes, I do! Lucy, I want to help you, but I really don’t think I can. Now, I don’t know how many nights you have gone without sleep, but I do know that your brother has woken me up pretty much every night these past few weeks. Since the two of you are clearly having the same problem, maybe you sho-”

Lucy had closed her eyes and was leaning ever so slightly away from Ron whose voice had gotten louder and harsher. She wasn’t usually so… fragile? Sensitive? However, her abnormal childhood had left its mark on her, and it got especially bad when people she knew well were angry or frustrated. Ron knew this but realized his mistake too late.

“Hey, Luce.”, he mumbled, now much calmer. He slowly moved his hand towards her and placed it carefully on her shoulder once he was sure she didn’t flinch or recoil. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Listen, I just worry, okay? About both of you. Seriously Lou - I’m aware that a lot is going on, but Harry wakes up in nightmares if not every, then every other night, and you’re not sleeping at all - it’s not healthy. It’s not always easy to ask for help, but maybe you don’t have to do everything alone all the time? You have friends, Lou! We’ll always listen, but if you don’t think we’ll understand, Harry definitely will. Do me a favour, if you don’t wanna talk to me, talk to him, please?

Lucy took a shaky breath, moved closer to Ron and let her head rest on his shoulder. He put his arms around her and began gently playing with her hair.

“Thanks”

They sat for a moment, doing nothing but watching the moonlight shining through the window and enjoying each other's company. Ron was about to ask Lucy something when he noticed the girl slowly drifting off to sleep with her head on his shoulder. He pushed some of her hair behind her ear and listened to her steady breathing. It was calming somehow, and Ron would have fallen asleep himself if not for the sound of his name being called from behind.

“Ron?”

Turning around quickly, yet carefully, Ron’s eyes met his best friend’s.

“Harry.. Ehm.. Why’ru awake?”

“Nightmare…”, said Harry slowly, noticing his sister sleeping soundly on the sofa. “What’s your excuse?”

“Ehmm…”, mumbled Ron, shifting awkwardly. “I-She-I woke up and heard something, so I went down here and found her still doing homework. Has apparently been sleepin’ just about as good as you.”

Harry sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. “I asked her about that a few days ago… said she was fine. Why wouldn’t she tell me?”

“My best guess? She probably didn’t wanna bother you. To be honest, mate, it’s not like it’s been an easy year or anythin’.”

“She could never bother me!”, exclaimed Harry, probably a bit too loud. “She knows that!?”

“Shhh…”, mumbled Ron uncomfortably. “We should probably let her sleep… Look, are you saying you talk to her every time you have a bad dream or… you know - feel down?”

“I guess not, but…”

“Then why are you expecting her to?”

Ron moved Lucy and put her head down on the armrest before standing up.

“Look, maybe if you tell her about your struggles she’ll tell you about hers? I don’t know, maybe I’m the wrong person to ask, but it sounds about right to me…?”

“Yeah…”, muttered Harry. “I guess b-”

He turned around quickly when he heard Lucy mumble something incoherent.

“Hey, Luce?”. He walked closer to the sofa and squatted down by his sister, who was now sweating and whimpering softly - clearly suffering from a bad dream. Harry shook her gently, but she moved away from his touch as her breathing became rapid and shallow.

“Lu...”, Harry sighed deeply before taking both of Lucy’s hands into his own. He hated the thought of his sister struggling so but knew from experience that it was inevitable. She suddenly inhaled sharply and sat up.

She looked around frantically, but Harry brought her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

“Shhh… Shh, Lou, you’re fine. I’ve got you, I’ve got you…”

She was breathing even faster and struggled against him, but Harry simply tightened his hold.

“Hey, hey, Lu? Shhh… Shhh… Lucy! Look at me, please?”

Their eyes met, and eventually, Lucy calmed down enough to breathe normally. She sighed deeply and leant her forehead against her older brother’s torso. The common room was completely silent until Ron decided to awkwardly clear his throat and mutter something about going back to bed.

Harry and Lucy remained quiet for a while, but eventually, Lucy decided to speak up.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’m so sorry…”

“Lu, don’t apologize, please! You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“I know, bu-”

“No”, said Harry, to which Lucy sighed.

“But”, she continued. “I still feel silly every time it happens.”

“I get it, Lu, you know I do. And I know it’s hard to talk about, but… You help me all the time - would it kill you to let me do the same?”

“Philosopher much?”, said Lucy with a slight smile. “You’re right, though… I guess I should have told you, it’s just...“

“Again, Luce, I get it! Listen, why don’t we both try to get a couple of hours of sleep and then talk tomorrow? It sounds like we might both need it, okay?”

“Yeah”, yawned Lucy, now realizing just how tired she actually was. The thought of going to sleep still frightened her, but knowing that her brother was close made her feel comfortable enough to give it a try.“Sounds good to me. G’night Haz.”

“Night, Lu. Love you”

~ L

Masterlist