#brain full of fictional characters. cannot possibly sleep. what the fuck

[sollucets]

many thoughts head full

[thornswithroses]

I’ve been a ghost in this hellsite, and I decided to do a book questionnaire based on @dhaaruni‘s own take on the New Yorker’s “By the Book.” 

Here we go.

What books are on your nightstand? 

I used to keep what I’m currently reading on my nightstand, but unfortunately, said nightstand is too small for the number of books I am reading. Right now, the nightstand holds my sleeping mask, bookmarks in a box, hand cream, and my Himalayan salt lamp. 

Marie Kondo has been a blessing for my bedroom, so I keep all the books that I have, including library books, on my shelves.

What’s the last book that really excited you?

Oh, so many. I’ve checked out from my library the Jacob Tobias memoir, Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story. I am close to done with Patricia A. McKillip’s elegant Alphabet of Thorn. I also checked out We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter by Celeste Headlee. There is also California dreamin' by Penelope Bagieu. 

And to show off just how often I abuse my library card, I also have on interlibrary loan: The Art of Eating by M.F.K. Fisher, The Palestinian Table by Reem Kassis, and House of Psychotic Women: An Autobiographical Topography of Female Neurosis in Horror and Exploitation Films by Kier-La Janisse.

I recently bought two titles that I am enthused to read as soon as I get the chance. Olivia Waite’s The Lady's Guide to Celestial Mechanics and C.S.E. Cooney’s Desdemona and the Deep.

Now you can see what I meant about my nightstand being too small! 

What’s your favorite book no one else has heard of?

Oh, lord, too many to name! Angela Carter has been getting more notice as of late, but I still think she needs more recognition. I feel the same way about Caitlín R. Kiernan. I also think everybody should give Sarah Monette/Katherine Addison’s The Goblin Emperor a try!

What book should everybody read before the age of 21?

The Bloody Chamber and Other Stories by Angela Carter. 

What book would you recommend to people over 40?

The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. I can’t say precisely how, but it feels like it captures the pain of youth. I think they should also read Francesca Lia Block. I think she captures what young women dream about and what they hurt over really well.

Which writers — novelists, playwrights, critics, journalists, poets — working today do you admire most?

C.S.E. Cooney is marvelous. I have also been enjoying Courtney Milan’s romances as well as her contemporaries’ works. There is Sarah Monette, Sarah Waters, Donna Tartt, Beverly Jenkins, so many women to admire. If anyone ever decries writing today as not being “good as it used to be,” they’re fucking hacks.

What moves you most in a work of literature?

When a character realizes they deserve better, especially if it’s a woman that recognizes this.

Do you prefer books that reach you emotionally or intellectually?

I think they have to be intelligent to know how to get to me emotionally. There is no distinct line between emotion and intelligence, in fact, it can be argued that you cannot have one without the other. Otherwise, intelligence just becomes a coldness, and emotionality becomes hysteria.

What’s the most interesting thing you learned from a book recently?

I think Marie Kondo’s work really taught me to value the things I own. When I was doing the KonMari method, I discovered these birthday cards that my late grandfather had given to me as a child. They had been buried under useless papers that I never bothered to toss aside. It is scary to think about U.S. consumerism, but then again, I do have socialist leanings so hah. 

Which genres do you especially enjoy reading? And which do you avoid?

I love romance. I am a romantic person, so I always get excited about romance in a romance novel, or within a horror story, fantasy, and so forth. I like reading about different relationships, such as siblings, parents-and-children, in-laws, friendships, and so forth. I think the complexities of human relations is essential to me as a reader.

I don’t like Westerns, I will be honest. I see them, and I think propaganda. I’m Mexican and Palestinian, and I can’t unsee the subtext of white people moving to the west, using God as a tool to justify taking from Native Americans. John Wayne is no hero.

I think the closest to a Western I have ever enjoyed was the anime, Trigun. And that deals with human beings of all backgrounds settling in a new planet, so there you go.

What’s the best book you’ve ever received as a gift?

My dad got me a book that was entire of Grimm’ fairy tales, from the famous ones to the least-known. And these stories were the version where Cinderella’s doves took out the eyes of her sisters. So, you can imagine how this influenced eight-year-old me to become the person I am today. 

Who is your favorite fictional hero or heroine? Your favorite antihero or villain?

Oh, this is hard. I’m going to have to give a cop-out answer and say there are too many to name. 

What kind of reader were you as a child? Which childhood books and authors stick with you most?

I was a late-bloomer. All the kids in my first-grade class already knew to read since kindergarten. I did not. I had these two fantastic reading teachers that eventually taught me. I may have started later than all my classmates, but I ended up becoming more well-read than they did. I would go to the elementary school library three-to-four times a week to check out books. The librarians really enjoyed me. 

I was bullied a lot growing up, so books were my way to heal. Francesca Lia Block’s Violet and Claire really shaped me as did fairy tales and Greek mythology. I also read Blood and Chocolate in middle school, and I had never met a main character as unapologetically sexual as Vivian. I think that book really influenced some of my feminism, despite its other issues. There was also The Witch from Blackbird Pond. Oh, and the Animorphs series. There was also the Babysitter’s Club books, which really made me want female friendships portrayed more often in other stories. A Corner of the Universe, which is also by Ann M. Martin, really impacted me--it is troubling how much I ended up relating to Adam in that story.

You’re a digital native, and your publisher describes you as “what Susan Sontag would have been like if she had brain damage from the internet.” Do you find it difficult to tune out distractions and sink into a book?

I do, mostly I blame it on graduate school burning me out. I also work full-time, so my brain sometimes just wants to shut off, and I look up stupid stuff on the Internet. I think I am getting a little better about it though. I try to clean my space as much as possible, and that helps clear my mind.

Disappointing, overrated, just not good: What book did you feel as if you were supposed to like, and didn’t? Do you remember the last book you put down without finishing?

V.E. Schwab’s A Darker Shade of Magic. I mean, I did end up liking it, but not too much. I actually forgot most of the plot. I can say that I like Kell and Holland a lot. The rest of the book had great ideas and mostly good executions of those ideas, but the narrative had an air of superficiality that I just couldn’t get over. Also, I was legitimately frustrated by Lila Bard. She had to be one of the cheapest depictions of Strong Female Character I’ve seen in a long time. I couldn’t get into the Hunger Games either. I gave up on A Song of Ice and Fire halfway through. 

What books are you embarrassed not to have read yet?

I don’t get embarrassed as much about that sort of thing these days. I do want to read Angela Carter’s entire bibliography one day. I also want to read the unread books on my shelves.

What do you plan to read next?

Angela Carter and some progressive Catholic works, hopefully. 

[uschickens]

Getting to know you meme

Okay. Okayokayokay. I said I was going to post more, actually engage more, so that requires, you know. Actually posting more. (Plus @momosandlemonsoda has graciously tagged me twice now, with no response from me, and that shall not stand!)

So. That meme thing going around.

Part I

name: Fannishly, I’m uschickens pretty much everywhere. Back in The Olden Times, I used Vix as my first name with uschickens, as in short for Vixen, as in a fox in the henhouse, which, like so many things with me, is so obscure as to only amuse myself.

star sign: Sagittarius, which seems a little ::skeptical headtilt:: at first, until you pair it with my Gemini rising and Virgo moon, and then it becomes a lot more we-know-but-hey-john-mulaney.gif

height: 5'5" (165.1cm)

time: 11:12pm

birthday: every handful of years, it coincides with Thanksgiving, so I get cake AND turkey.

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: Like, currently listening to, or of all time, or or or??? This is a loaded question! Recently, Taemin’s Never Gonna Dance album hooked me hard. My other most-played playlists are called “last of the hardcore troubadours,” “frenzied banjos,” and “forest gods,” so I’m working the alt country/folk pop/whatever Florence and her Machine and Hozier have going on. Oh, and the Sleep No More soundtrack, so 1930s jazz, Hitchcockian strings, and edm all mashed together.

song stuck in your head: not even a song, just the one line from Taemin “we were just two kids/too young and dumb” over and over and over on repeat.

last movie you watched: I...have not watched a movie in a long, long time. Possibly a Knives Out rewatch? It Part Two? No, all my media consumption time lately has been devoted to...

last show you binged: All Things Tomb. I started watching reboot in, hmmm, late October? Early November? And with very few exceptions, various dmbj adaptions have been ALL I watched since then. It’s...kind of a problem. It goes in fits and starts, not a true binge since reboot, except for some blocking-out-the-outside-world plunges into Ultimate Note in early January. Reboot is the Tomb of My Heart, with Sha Hai a microscopically close second. Chen Minghao is my one! true! Pangzi, with surfer!Pangzi from tlt2 being a worthy predecessor. I am mostly here for post-Bronze Gate Wu Xies, and I vastly prefer the more realistic fighting style of reboot!Xiaoge than emo!XG, mathnerd!XG, or dancer!XG. But this was supposed to be about a binge, not my Standard Tomb Opinions Dissertation.

when you created your blog: 2010? There was a brief period when apparently I used tumblr for...interior design porn?? Rather than porn porn??? I quickly learned my lesson.

the last thing you googled: firstly, that would be the last thing I duckduckgoed, if we’re being strictly accurate, but I digress. It was [Richard Diebenkorn Guggenheim], part of a long-running conversation with my dad, who is a landscape painter currently going through an abstract expressionism phase. It’s getting wild up in here, folks.

other blogs: as I said, uschickens everywhere, by which I mean Twitter and dreamwidth and ao3.

why i chose my url: back in The Early Days of Livejournal, I lurked even more than I do now, so when I finally took the plunge, I couldn’t resist going with a name that really captured my inner Do Not Perceive Me, crossed with big band music and Louis Jordan. Ergo my tag line was “ain’t nobody here but... [us chickens]”.

how many people are you following: fuck if I know

how many followers do you have: fuck if I care

average hours of sleep: NOT. ENOUGH. But better than it used to be; see also my Twitter for some of the more bizarre paths my mind goes down when I’m in the middle of a juicy bit of insomnia.

lucky numbers: 3

instruments: a couple decades of piano and a solid eight months of French horn.

what i’m currently wearing: the dress I wore to work over pajama bottoms. I’m getting ready for bed, I swear. Halfway there!

dream job: ::hollow laughter:: I feel I would be excellent at being independently wealthy, at which point all my time would be devoted to travel, food, and writing about/photographing that travel and food, plus whatever experimental theater/circus/dance performances I happened to run across. But I shudder to think of actually relying on that sort of writing/photography to earn my keep, because there’s no faster way to kill my joy in a thing than to make it an obligation. Is “dilettante” still a thing? I’d be very good at that.

dream trip: do you want that chronologically or alphabetically? I have spreadsheets! I *will* be going to Singapore once all this ::gestures vaguely at the world:: sorts itself out. There’s a weeklong food tour in Mexico City for which I have lust in my heart. I want to rent a beachside with a million bedrooms for a month and just have friends show up for as much or as little of that month as they want. When I want true escapism, I look at the Aman hotel website, pick a location at random, and decide which suite I would like for a) myself, solo, b) myself with family, c) myself with friends and d) whichever characters currently live in my brain.

fave food: ha, I couldn’t pick a favorite band, and you want me to pick a favorite FOOD? Gumbo. Spaghetti and meatballs (but only good ones). Georgian khachapuri and aubergine satsivi. Fresh strawberries and cream.

top three fictional universe you’d like to live in: something written by Diana Wynne Jones, because it’s always a good mix of fantastic and pragmatic, with fundamentally decent people. Probably Howl and Sophie’s neck of the woods. Star Wars, because fuck it I want a lightsaber. And faster than light space travel. And I can’t think of a third offhand, but something with magic. Because if you’re going fictional, go big fictional or go home.

Part II

last song: the moody acoustic version of the Guardian theme song.

last movie last stream last podcast: We’ve already talked movies, and Vix Does Not Stream, so let’s go to the only thing that means my laundry gets folded in a timely manner - podcasts. I would be remiss in not mentioning the primary ‘castular joy in my life, the I Saw What You Did pod, which is two fortysomething women of color talking nerdily about two movies based on a theme each week. You’ve probably never seen most of these movies, and it doesn’t matter in the slightest. They themselves are a delight, and it’s exactly the sort of chewy discussion over media that I adore, especially because it is not done in an exclusionary, clerk-at-that-one-independent-video-store-who-always-seemed-to-be-sneering-at-your-choices way. Highly recommended. But, uh, the one I really should talk about is All About Agatha, a very good podcast reading and ranking all of Agatha Christie’s novels in order, because it is an excellent segue into...

currently reading: ...the fact that I am a solid 80% of the way through all of Agatha Christie’s novels in audiobook. In, like, the last two months. I haven’t read a book with my eyeballs since ::gestures vaguely at the world again:: (wait, no, I made it through the dmbj novels, for better or for worse), as reading with my eyes seems to be reserved for fic these days. But I am plowing through these audiobooks like it’s a part-time job. What even is life if not narrated by Hugh Fraser at this point? I’m not sure if I recommend the endeavor or not, but I and my knitting and my mystery audiobooks will be over here getting our Miss Marple on as long as possible. (For the record, the audiobooks have edited out some but not all of the egregious bits of racism but left most of the anti-Semitism. So, uh, there’s that.)

currently watching: Mystic Nine, my last full Tomb series. The only I’m not going into preemptive withdrawal is the presence of several side stories on iqiyi with English subtitles. Naturally not the ones I really want (heeeey, Liu Sang vs haunted paint can, plus whatever the hell is going on with Hei Xiazi from last month), but needs must. I suppose after that, I’m back to a reboot rewatch, for fic research purposes, if nothing else. I mean, I suppose I could watch a non-dmbj property? Like the backlog of recommendations I’ve been collecting?? Sounds fake, but okay.

what is antipoetry to you: I’m going to go out on a limb and say it’s another form of poetry. Something something even by rebelling against the form one is inherently bound by its concepts, especially when one tries to define oneself in opposition to something one cannot help but be shaped by it blah blah.

currently craving: I could say something existential about what the pandemic has made me yearn for (live! theater! with! friends!), or I could talk about the roast pork from Big Wong’s that I’m seriously contemplating for lunch tomorrow, but what I want most right now is for the goddamn construction crew that dug a hole in the road right outside my window starting at 10pm would finish and go away ASAP.