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emulation-0 · 8 months

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@cursedvibes ty for tagging me ik it was a while ago 😭

20 Questions for Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

on my profile 32, i think? (but actually 35)

2. Whats your total word count?

59,890 tho i do have like 56000 more words in orphaned works

3. What fandoms do you write for?

primarily Jujutsu Kaisen, i had some ideas for other fandoms but those remain as wips... honestly after this tsumiki one im not sure i will be writing for a while siebjfneofneod

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

there's a fire in my brain and im burning up (itadori)

this tired old machine is a-rumbling (higuruma)

the devil's after both of us (itafushi)

oh, lay my curses out to rest (tokyo students + shoko)

oh, ashes ashes dust to dust (nobamaki)

(this makes me upset im not gonna lie cuz looking back and reading these im struck by how mid they are but sjdbdkneodks its whatever)

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i do for the most part !! i love receiving comments and i want people to know how much i appreciate it :) i also love when ppl reply to comments i leave on their fics so i want to do the same

6. what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ummm my Curses series was more one-shots without actual plot.. and as many of those were shibuya or post shibuya they were all pretty angsty beifbekdjeodk. i wouldnt say any have this kind of ending because then there would have to be a story. but i would say the saddest one ive written is 'keep running for the sink but the well is dry'

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

'light of a new morning' for sure. this one actually had some kind of development i would say. also i have bias because this is one of the only three ive written that dont totally suck. though the tsumiki wip im working on for sure will have an even happier ending

8. do you get hate on fic?

im not popular enough for that lol

9. do you write smut?

10. do you write crossovers?

i had one in mind a while ago but it escaped me... i never have before but that doesnt mean i never will, even if it is unlikely

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i dont think so

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but id be honored if so. especially if it was one im proud of

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but im open to the idea

14. whats your all-time favorite ship?

i go through phases so i cant really answer this lol. my interest waxes and wanes. rn though im really obsessed with uroyuki and in a satosugu phase

15. whats a wip you want to finish but probably won't?

there is a shokohime wip i started two or so years ago about shoko's backstory and the developing of their relationship up until the present but at some point there was a research aspect to it and i thought 'ill do it later'. and then i never did 💀 id like to continue it but i still lowk think it will sit there.. i dont have enough motivation to do research ekdbfkenfkdk

there is also a trigun one i started, it was kind of plotless, just vibes, but i wasnt able to get their dialogue right and idk. maybe when i get into a trigun phase again ill find inspiration and continue

16. what are your writing strengths?

i think im good at describing a scene and emotions. im good at making this kind of poetry

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

im soooo shit at dialogue and even when im not shit at it i keep overthinking it and ruin it anyway lol

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i mean ive done it (but i orphaned those... lol) and im doing it now for the tsumiki wip so its fine i guess. but id only do it for languages that i know and if not, after profuse grammar checking. also ofc it has to make sense within the context of the story

19. first fandom you wrote for?

septimus heap eiebdkwbdkebd it was so bad

20. favorite fic you've written?

ill do you one better and say three... and these are the not-mid ones

light of a new morning (tsumiki and itadori)

after hours (mob and reigen)

before-the-storm bloom (uroyuki)

my writing style changed a lot and i think these ones emulate the way it is now the best

idk 20 writers but tagging @that-was-anticlimactic @zukkaoru @blackhallow and anyone else who wants !!

#between drawing and writing and like. my life. time gets a little stretched thin so i dont write as much as id like 😭 anyway #ty for tagging me!! and sorry again jjdjdfjdnfodnfod #tag game #hanancouldyounot

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chappybird · 2 years

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my take on it, is that fictionally age is just a number. it's important in real life because it's a mostly direct analogy to their maturity level, (idk if thats worded right but you know what i mean. its important that shouldnt be a discussion) but IN FICTION ONLY age is just the author going "ummmm ok i have to pick a birthday, whatever ill do this"

its what they FEEL like that matters, which is why "2000 year old loli" is a thing thats frowned upon - even antis agree! fictional age doesnt matter its what they act like! so if youre uncomfortable with someone looking like a toddler but being technically canonically over 18, you should be fine with a 14 year old anime girl who acts like an adult and is drawn like an adult and saves the universe and flies jet planes and does nothing a real 14 year old would do (which, tbh, its strange of the canon to make them 14 in the first place there but it happened and we cant change canon since apparently even aging characters up is also frowned upon?? lmao)

which side note the "aging characters up is weird, why are you looking at a kid and thinking they'd be hot later" argument falls apart in situations like this where they're ALREADY drawn and treated like a regular adult in canon.

tldr if you watch a media, and have to go out of your way to look up the wiki in order to find out that they're actually underaged? youre fine that should not even be a little weird to anybody

There's a lot going on in this ask, but Im gonna go with what I assume is the reference to Evangelion. Evangelion answers the question of: "Okay so what if we did let teenagers fight in war machines" back in the era of Gundam, GoLion, etc. The answer is it would really fuck them up. Child Soldiers are incredibly unethical, and Shinji Ikari is an examination of what it would be like for a vulnerable young teenager to actually have that sort of responsiblity levied on his shoulders, and what kind of monsters the adults around him are for making children fight their wars.

It's about a lot of other things too, but that was what the series was designed to subvert! Gundam itself is also a subversion of this, though its not as heavy handed. I think its good that these two series exist and they're great examinations of the giant mech genre of anime, and even of shounens in general as they existed back in the 80s and 90s, and even today. A big part of the Eva is that Shinji IS a kid, and he IS being taken advantage of. If he's suddenly 18, a lot of the weight behind the series is gone, along with Shinji being so dependant on the adults around him. Every aspect of his life is controlled by adults that want to use him.

Seguing from that, thats another reason why adult/minor relationships are inappropriate. A child's entire life is controlled by the adults around them, so even if there was some kind of weird genius kid whose brain developed at the age of 15 to be that of a fully formed adult, and they looked and acted like an adult, they would still be social constructs that make them vulnerable. You can, as an adult, make a child's life absolute hell with very little effort. Without going into detail because Im sure my haters would fucking LOVE this, I've worked in situations where I'm responsible for kids, and the amount of training and education you need, that is specifically surrounding make sure other adults dont harm them, is absolutely nuts, and we're still not able to protect all of them. The world is not a safe place for kids, and especially with the existence of the internet, it makes it that much harder. (Ive had kids I work with across multiple jobs try to look me up on social media. I had to lock down my instagram and make it private because a bunch of them were finding us somehow, even those of us that didn't use our real names. They are willy nilly making themselves extremely vulnerable and it scares me to think of someone that would take advantage of that.)

So, to reiterate, the two things that make minors vulnerable and unnacceptable to pursue as an adult:

Their emotional and mental capacity, which is not fully formed yet. This is a biological factor that doesn't change with society.

The social construct of how we, adults, control the lives of children. IE Why 18 is the magic number. Because in truth, that's when we actually give a person basic human rights. As a society, we actually deny children a lot of human right and dignity, so on top of brain development, this makes children especially vulnerable.

What doesn't actually factor into why it's unacceptable to pursue minors:

Their appearance.

Therefore, why there is no moral aspect of RPing or depicting characters that are underage in media:

Because the mental capacity of the people consuming the writing/art is that of an adult, as is there age. There is no person involved here with the mental capacity of a child, or who can legally be taken advantage of... because fictional characters aren't children.

And like, yeah I will agree with people that its fuckin weird to be into the physical appearance of characters that look especially young, but its still not hurting anyone... just kinda icky to a lot of people and can cause discomfort, because we don't like seeing something that resembles something vunerable getting hurt... but the keyword is resembles.

I also think you hit the nail on the head with saying that most anime/cartoon/comic/book characters are indistinguishable from adults, and if you've got to hem and haw and look up an age on a wiki in order to be outraged, maybe pick a different battle. Ultimately my attitude is still live and let live.

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xparecivm · 4 years

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amycus carrow: a dumbass temporary intro for a dumbass boy

hi meet amycus :)

18 years young, slytherin, live laugh love

(cw parental death, vague references to abuse) take a boy, give him a twin sister, let them be super loved by their parents for a few short years until their awesome mom gets sick and unfortunately passes away, then have his dad remarry faster than him and his sister can blink. step mom? awful, horrendous woman, hates the kids, hates the world. dad? whether its grief or pressure or shame or whatever, he also becomes awful, horrendous, also suddenly seems to hate the kids he’d so loved not that long ago.

but they’re still carrows, they’re the carrow family, pure, sacred, among those on the short list pronouncing which families in wizarding britain still hold true magic in their veins. the twins may be ignored, neglected, hurt, but they must never forget who they are.

so now you’ve got two kids stuck in a big house with two adults who want nothing to do with them. what do they have? only each other. amycus loves his sister, would quite literally do anything for her, he’ll gladly call her out when she’s being a bitch or hex her as a joke and they rumble like all siblings do but he’s also incredibly protective over her, always has been (even though she can MORE than fight her own fights)

he’s a very good lil pureblood boy!!!! great to bring home to ur parents, says all the right yes ma’am no sirs, dresses up perfectly for various galas and parties and what-have-you, is the perfect lil man of the house, great at sucking up to teachers (probably the only reason he hasn’t failed half his classes yet tbh)

his dad has essentially left all the responsibility to him - amycus will inherit everything once his old man croaks, sure, but his dad isn’t lifting a single finger for him before then. amycus is responsible for networking, socializing at events, representing the family name, finding a good career - it's all fallen onto him. he works hard to keep up the image of a perfect young man!!!

he’s also a pain in the ass when he’s able to turn that “perfect boy” persona off - the anger he’d aimed at his father and stepmother for years was able to be unleashed once he started at hogwarts, and unleashed it was - mostly at other students, notably muggleborn students. easy targets, cheers!

the death eaters is just the obvious crowd for him to fall into - one, they’re all his roommates. bois who commit heinous acts 2gether stay 2gether!!!! saturdays are for the bois and for war crimes!!!! two, their father had been a supporter of the dark lord for years. it was taught to them from birth. three, he honestly, truly believes that muggles are out there stealing magic that belongs to him and his people, true magicfolk. four, dark magic is just more fun, isn’t it?

he likes two (2) classes: DADA (for the dark arts part not the defense part, dont get excited) and herbology - he’s actually SUCH a big plants guy its like his one big thing he’s a big old strong boi who does sports and is like the suave football player who bullies freshmen except he also loves gardening and plants very much

everyone knows alecto to be the really bad one of the pair, the viscous one, the one amycus has to hold back more often than he’d admit. but don’t underestimate him - he’s more careful about it, sure, more cautious in his behaviors - but he can be just as viscous, and he’ll sneak up on you with it. he smiles, but it catches the light, and for a brief moment it make you think of what a jungle cat must look like just before it pounces

quick short things:

has dark mark uwu

also has “FD” stick ‘n poke tattooed in the crook of his right elbow, ask him what it means sometime

biiiiiiiiig fan of unforgiveable curses loves to study those bad boys

don’t call him amy he doesn’t like that he won’t be happy pls and thank u

is a chaser on the slytherin team (was a beater, took the role a bit too seriously, got switched. does he aim for the other team’s keeper more than the goal half the time? maybe. who’s to say)

he’s also in herbology club and will genuinely never be a bitch while doing herbology club stuff. it’s like Amycus Carrow’s Big Boy Calm Down Time

is weirdly nice? until he’s not. he likes to be a fuckin weirdo like that

he’s a vegetarian :-)

#abintro #this is a TEMPORARY INTRO until i do the real one jskdvbkjsvbjh #brain machine doesnt want to answer all those questions

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kurtanaaa · 3 years

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if glee hadnt ended, what songs do you think they wouldve done between 2015 and now? (or like in the past year i guess bc 6 years is a long time lol)

OH THIS IS SUCH A HEFTY QUESTION THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING THIS.... I GOTTA THINK HEAVILY

ok its easy to say jokes or just what i Want them to sing, but here are my honest thoughts:

probably all the stuff thats been super fuckin popular, i.e. shape of you, old town road, justin bieber's stuff, closer, blinding lights

on that note, definitely more ed sheeran, justin bieber, the weeknd, billie eilish, ariana grande, dua lipa, cardi b, khalid

despacito. im completely fucking serious theres no way they wouldve gotten away without doing this song

definitely a lot of billie eilish. teenage girl reaching extreme fame early in life? perfect for glee

i think theres a possibility they wouldve also done something in honour of my chemical romance's comeback bc that was a fairly big thing

i think they almost definitely would do tiktok songs. like i dont think it would work out for them because social media trends change so rapidly now that something becomes cringy and outdated before it can actually be put in a show, but they sure would fucking try

there probably wouldve been a definite rise in musical theatre songs once hamilton became so popular. i can see them going back to doing their yearly musical just so they can do some of the musicals that have become cult classics since hamilton made everyone a theatre nerd

oh they would absolutely do songs from the moulin rouge broadway musical

i think that, had glee extended more into taylor swifts 1989 era, there wouldve been WAYYYY more of that too. shake it off gcv seems like its supposed to exist but it somehow doesnt

i know it kinda sounds like im regurgitating all those posts about "thank GOD glee ended before blah blah blah im boring and i hate fun" but i do seriously think they wouldve tried to cash in on these

songs that i personally want to see and think are semi reasonable mostly:

uma thurman by fall out boy

daddy lessons (the version with the chicks) by beyonce

black tar and nicotine by dorothy (im fucking obsessed with this song i need to finish listening to this album)

washing machine heart by mitski

athena by nova twins (this is def too metal for glee but look at me not giving a shit)

only angel or sunflower vol. 6 by harry styles

big god by florence and the machine

FAMILY BY MOTHER MOTHER OH MY GOD I WANT THEM TO PERFORM THIS SO BADLY

did it to myself by orla gartland

i cant go on without you by KALEO

cherry by rina sawayama

ex's and oh's by elle king (yeah i know this is her big song idc thats the only one i know and i wanna see it)

love on the brain by rihanna

sunflower by post malone and swae lee

best part by daniel caesar ft. H.E.R.

thank you SO MUCH for asking this!!!! im sorry my answer is so long i have a LOT TO FUCKIN SAY DJDKSJDKSKZ anyway thank u again i hope u enjoy this💞💗💗💗💖

#glee #glee headcanons #? i guess #long post #rae talks #asks

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stonedandemo · 4 years

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"Never Enough Time"

Kenma x GN!Reader angst

TW: amnesia, drugs and alcohol mention, cursing, fighting, hospital mention, drunk driving, mentions of cheating

Time

Kenma was never one for people. It's not that he hated them, it's just sometimes they were overwhelming. They come and go, so often that he just stopped bothering to remember them and sort of just let them be.

Everyone except for Kuroo and someone named Y/N yet he wasn't sure why they stuck around for so long.

Kenma wasnt that understanding of why they never seemed to leave. Though he didn't mind, he was positive they would sooner or later. And yet that factor, It also scared him.

He could never remember the faces of those who left but he knew. He knew from the emptiness inside. It was terrifying knowing that everytime they came around he felt so much better.

"Hey Kenma, how you feeling?" There they were again. Y/N having entered his room followed by his supposed childhood friend Kuroo.

"You always ask me that" Kenma replied with a frown. He could never remember there faces, only there voice. When he tried, all he got was a blurred image of a poor attempt to imagine your features.

"And every single time, you say your fine" You replied with a quietly chuckle to his nonchalant tone. You appeared to be pretty used to his antics after all.

"Thats because I am" He grumbled, crossing his legs, listening to the beeps of hospital machines. Kenma had long forgotten the time that had passed since he had been in here.

Told that apparently he had gotten into a car accident, damaging a part of his brain that allowed him to remember those in his social circle.

But apparently, the two who consistently visited were people quite close to him.

He always got the same dream every night. He supposed it was a rememberance of the accident, a memory he could recite like the back of his hand if asked to.

Place

Kenma remembers where it all started, having gotten into an argument with someone. There face was blurred, like a fog that he just couldnt seem to wipe away.

"Kenma how many times do I have to tell you! Me and tet@$#$ have nothing going on!" The blur exclaimed.

Kenma had been drunk that night, drinking as to kill the painful feeling in his chest. But it made him angry.

It made him spiteful, and now here he was arguing with this figament that he just couldnt put a face too. He swears he recognizes that voice, the name on the tip of his tongue.

"@$#@ I dont know why your acting as if you dont in fact fuck my best friend! Ive seen how you look at one another! What do you whore yourself out to the rest of my friends to?!" It was the insecurity speaking, you both knew it.

But the moment was too heated for it to be truly acknowledged that he didnt mean what he said. And he was just to out of it to comprehend the backlash and consquences soon to follow from his words.

"Kenma you dont mean that"

"But I do! You want to prove to yourself so bad that you arent some slut but you are!" Kenma argued angrily. Shoulders shaking with such intensity that he was positive you could see it.

"Get the fuck out of my house. I dont let whores sleep under my roof"

"Kenma!" The voice exclaimed with pain wrapped behind it. The use of his name made his heart pang with frustration that they just couldnt seem to get the hint.

He pointed to the door, he didnt need to see the blurred face to know there were tears streaming down. The door slammed shut, and he was left alone again. The sound of the car being heard exiting his driveway and onto miyagi streets.

Kenma scoffed, opening a drawer he swore he'd never open again, popping out a cigarette. Lighting it up with shaky fingers, to take a long drag. Slowly exhaling smoke.

The pudding head decided to go for a drive. Sober, he knows that driving in this condition is just plain stupid, and reckless. But common sense wasnt something Kenma had in this very moment.

He pulled out of the driveway, and set out on the road. He had a few things he wanted to say to his friends face for sleeping with his lover.

He didnt make it far, maybe half the distance necessary before tears began to fog his view.

The heartache setting in, before a sob rumbled from his throat. Kenma lost control and crashed.

And now here he was. He didnt know where his phone lay, the hospital saying it was apparently broken and unusable. Though now that he was pondering it, he decided to ask the two a question.

"Do you guys know why the person I argued with isnt here?" Kenma asked quietly. Wondering if maybe they may carry a different answer. Had they broken up? He doesnt remember breaking up, but there was alot of things he couldnt recall at the moment.

Though based on there expressions they knew something. Kenma felt his whole world stop when he listened to there next words.

"...Well Kenma, it was... its me. You thought tetsuro.. also known as Kuroo" He watched as you gestured to the rooster haired male. "was someone I was sleeping with and-"

"Get out" He whispered, eyes dilated with fury. They knew, YOU knew. And said nothing, despite being aware he suffered with amnesia.

"Kenma please-" You started but we're quickly cut off by him.

"Shut up and get out. You knew, and you didnt say anything" His eyes narrowed, watching the guilt flash over your features.

Getting up, his eyes watched kuroo slowly file out, holding the same guilty expression.

"Before you go, answer me this, did you really cheat on me?" He whispered meekly.

Looking into your eyes, watching as you pulled out his cracked phone. Charged and alive.

With pursed lips, you took a deep breath, and nodded. "Yes, Kozume I did." and left.

Leaving him with a broken heart, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked down at the screenshots, proving your guilt.

#kenma x reader #haikyuu angst #kenma kozume #kuroo #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x reader #hq x y/n #kenma

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thewhumperinwhite · 4 years

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Café: Hospital/Squad Car

In which names are fucking FINALLY exchanged; Sol comes out the same way I do 100% of the time; hands are held angrily; I Don’t Know About You Guys But I’m Sure Shawn Is Fine And Safe To Be In A Car With Right Now.

Previous Parts: Teaser One and Teaser Two

TW for: cops; implied past suicide attempt; referenced familial abuse; implied/referenced homophobia; self-harm.

Also, this is long, but I chose not to split it into two parts in the interest of getting back to The Action next time. Also please note that this is not a police procedural and I care about Gay H/C, not about How To Police Work, so please forgive the no doubt glaring inaccuracies.

@whumpitywhumpwhump

Sol rests his pounding head in the hand not attached to his dislocated wrist, squeezes his eyes shut, and tries to shake the residual claustrophobia still crouched hot in the center of his chest.

He doesnt look up at the sound of Shawn being steered into the chair next to him. Shawn winces audibly as the motion must pull at his stitches.

“Thank you for waiting, boys,” the nurse says. She sounds uncertain in a way Sol generally doesn’t prefer in his medical professionals. “A, um. An officer will be here to talk to you shortly, I guess?”

Sol grunts vaguely, too tired to protest, and he can hear the polite smile in the blonde boys voice when he says in a too-bright voice, “Thank you. We don’t mind waiting.”

The nurse scampers. There’s a moment of what passes for awkward silence in a crowded hospital hallway. Then someone pokes Sol gently in the shoulder.

“Hey,” the blonde says in his velvety voice. “How do you feel, man?”

Sol lowers his hand and raises his head to stare at the blonde, who does at least have the grace to look sheepish. He spreads his heavily bandaged hands. “How do I look?”

The blonde fidgets, moving carefully to avoid straining his broken ribs, and picks awkwardly at the bandage above his eye with the arm that is not currently in a sling. At some point someone lent him a plain white t-shirt to replace his bloody button-down, but there hasn’t been time or space for showers, apparently— is the hospital normally so busy at five in the morning on a rainy Friday?— and his hair is still plastered up at odd angles and kind of red in places. Though it’s hard to tell whose blood is whose, at this point. On Sol’s other side Shawn is poking half-heartedly at his bandaged shoulder.

“Sorry, stupid question,” the blond agrees ruefully. “I meant, how’s your head?”

Sol glares at the floor. “It’s fine. Just a little knock. Not like I’ve never had one of those before.” In a much lower voice he adds, “I fucking hate MRIs.”

To Sol’s surprise, the blond’s face immediately softens. “Yeah,” he says, and he sounds almost— fond. Then he holds out his hand. “I’m Kent, by the way. Kenton Graves.”

Sol stares down at the boy’s hand, and thinks about telling him to fuck off. He takes Kent Graves’s hand in his bandaged one instead. “Sol Michaelis.”

Kent Graves blinks. “That’s, uh, quite the name.”

Sol raises an eyebrow. “Thanks,” he says flatly. “I picked it myself.”

Kent stares at him. Sol waits. “Oh,” Kent says, then, “Oh! I’m— sorry, I didn’t mean to make fun.”

Sol squints, lets Kent squirm while he weighs that response. It’s not a bad one, and he doesn’t ruin it by tacking on a bunch of excuses, just looks at Sol, embarrassed but not defensive. After a moment Sol waves his hand dismissively. “Whatever.”

Kent’s face relaxes into a smile immediately. It’s kind of distracting. Then he leans forward to offer his hand to Shawn, too, paling a little as the movement must make his ribs and fractured clavicle shift painfully. Sol winces a little in sympathy.

“Uh— Shawn Dugan,” Shawn says distractedly. Speaking of pale, Shawn is currently the color of string cheese.

“Nice to meet you, Shawn,” Kent says politely. “You feeling okay?”

It seems to take a second for Shawn to focus on Kent’s face, but when he manages it he smiles, looking a little… scared. “Yeah, I don’t feel so hot.” He scrubs a hand over the back of his neck. “A little. Uh. Freaked, I guess.”

Kent’s smile fades, and he massages a careful hand over his collarbone. “Yeah,” he agrees, settling back into his chair. “Me too.”

Sol glares down at his splinted wrist and says nothing. They tried to put him under general anaesthetic to reset it and he had to fight tooth and nail to keep them from putting him under. Goddamn bastards.

Somebody wearing heels clicks down the long hallway in their direction, and Sol raises his head too fast, his vision blurring out for a second. “Fuck,” he mutters, raising a hand to his pounding head.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, boys,” the person attached to the noisy heels says in a brisk, businesslike voice. As Sol blinks she slowly resolves herself into a pretty girl in a police uniform, her long black hair bound back into a tight braid. “How are we feeling tonight?”

Sol hasn’t really had a chance to look in a mirror since before he was shoved in an ambulance fucking five hours ago, but if he looks anywhere near as wrecked as Shawn or Kent, the answer to that question should be pretty fucking obvious. Nobody answers the officer, anyway. She smirks at them, hands on her hips.

“Yeah, I thought so. Well, we’ve got the okay to take you three down to the station so you can tell us exactly what happened, kids. Do any of you have anybody you’d like to inform of your whereabouts and condition before we get this show on the road?” She fishes a flip-phone out of the pocket of her not-very-flattering uniform trousers. “You can use this if you didn’t get a chance to grab your phone before we left the café. I’ve been told you left in kind of a hurry.”

There’s a moment of silence as all three of them stare at the phone. Shawn, with a nervous glance towards Sol and Kent, who haven’t moved, reaches a shaky hand out for the phone.

“Uh,” he croaks, and then he lurches forward slightly and raises a hand to his head. The officer has to take a quick step forward and grab hold of his uninjured shoulder to keep him from falling right out of his chair. He pauses for a second, and then looks up at her. Sol winces at the look on his face. Shawn is almost thirty, but he looks like a scared kid.

“I-I’d like to call my mom,” he croaks, and he’s really a worrying color under his embarrassed flush. “I mean, if that’s okay.”

The officer’s face softens at Shawn’s obvious distress, and she passes him the phone. “Yeah, of course it is.” Planting her hands back on her hips, she looks from Sol to Kent, one dark eyebrows raised. “Who’s next? Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Shawn gets very shakily to his feet and wanders off a little down the hallway to call his mother in peace, using the wall for support. Sol looks expectantly over at Kent, who fidgets and then looks back at Sol for a second, and then down at the floor.

“There isn’t anyone I want to call,” he says, looking up at the officer.

Sol looks at him. There’s a muscle jumping slightly in his jaw. Interesting. Sol shrugs. “Me neither, I guess.”

The officer looks from Sol to Kent, frowning. Sol can’t really tell if she looks annoyed or— god— sympathetic. He looks away to keep from rolling his eyes. “You sure? Last call.”

Sol and Kent exchange a look almost without meaning to, and then they both look at the floor. Sol thinks of the look on Kent’s father’s face as he left the cafe. It isn’t an entirely unfamiliar one. “Yeah,” he mumbles finally. “I think we’re both sure, lady.”

There’s a long, awkward moment when the officer and the two boys listen to Shawn murmur shaky assurances into the phone and resolutely do not look at each other. Then Shawn hangs up the phone with a click and stumbles back over to hold it out toward the officer. “Thanks,” he croaks, swaying a little.

“Uh— no problem.” The officer looks from one pale face to the other, looking a little out of her depth. Then she sighs and squares her shoulders. “Okay. The sooner we get down to the station, the quicker you kids can go home. Are, uh— “ She falters a little. “Are you guys all okay to walk?”

Annoyed, Sol swings himself up to his feet, overbalances, and has to be stopped from falling by a hand on his shoulder he realizes to his mortification belongs to Kent. He wills himself not to blush and feels his cheeks and ears reddening anyway, and shrugs away. “Yes, we can walk,” he snaps, shaking his head to clear it.

The officer doesn’t quite laugh at him, but it looks like a struggle to hold it in. “Okay, sure, tough guy. Squad car’s this way.” She strides away, her non-concussed head held high, and the noisy clicking of her heeled boots drills straight into Sol’s skull, sounding much louder in his bruised brain than it probably is.

In his irritation he shoves Kent’s offer of a steadying hand away a little harder than he means to, and Kent winces away like he thinks Sol might hit him. Sol immediately feels guilty, but there’s no way to take it back, so he just stomps after the police lady, and Kent falls back to make sure Shawn doesn’t fall over, instead.

“You can call me Officer Santos, by the way,” she tells Sol over her shoulder. “I think that’s a couple steps up from ‘lady,’ don’t you?”

Sol grumbles at her.

It’s fucking freezing outside, but the fresh air feels good against Sol’s face anyway— the MRI machine had been so damn closed in, and he’d started sweating all over, and while he doesn’t feel clean and he aches all over, at least the icy wind snaps a little bit of clarity back into his poor overheated brain.

Then he sees the squad car, and cringes a little. “You’re— not gonna let one of us sit up front, are you? he asks Officer Santos halfheartedly.

“Couldn’t even if I wanted to,” she says cheerfully. “My backup’s already in the driver’s seat. Back seat’s not really meant for three people, but you kids’ll fit just fine if you get a little cozy, don’t worry about it.”

She grins at him, and then practically skips over to the passenger’s side. Sol grinds his teeth.

Sol turns back to glare at Shawn, who has a hand clamped over his mouth, and then at Kent, who seems to be half holding him up, although his face is very pale. Shawn’s shoulder is resting against Kent’s collarbone, and Sol can’t keep in a sympathetic wince before he schools his features back into a glare. “You’re sitting in the middle,” he snaps at Kent. “If anybody gets puked on, it ain’t gonna be me.” He slides into the driver’s side before either of them can protest.

It takes some doing to actually get Shawn in the car, and by the time everybody is seated and buckled in, Sol and Kent are pressed together from shoulder to hip. His head starting to spin a little, Sol notes that Kent has nice thighs— slender, but with more muscle definition than he saw from far away. Sol wonders dizzily if he works out.

Shawn, who seems to be sweating king of a lot, rests his head against the window and goes immediately to sleep. Sol kind of envies him.

Officer Santos’s “backup” turns out to be a twenty-something man with shaggy hair and a carefully cultivated smattering of stubble across his chin. Sol sees that the driver very briefly reaches for Officer Santos’s hand once she’s slid into her seat, but elects not to comment.

Kent looks around at the cramped interior of of the squad car with academic interest, and Sol rolls his eyes at him. “What, you’ve never seen the back of a police car?”

That earns him a quizzical look not just from Kent but from Officer Santos, too, and he immediately regrets saying it.

“Uh— no, never,” Kent says, but thankfully doesn’t ask any of the dozen questions written all over his dumb pretty bruised-up face. Instead he reaches forward and taps against the plexiglass divider between the back seat and the front, like the one in a taxi. The little sliding glass door stands open. “What’s this for?”

“It’s bulletproof, in case you guys turn out to be violent killers,” Officer Santos says brightly.

“Soundproof, too,” the driver pipes up. “For when we have to take noisy drunks back to the station.

Kent laughs, and the sound is awkward and strained. “Oh.”

Officer Santos elbows the driver in the ribs. “Come on, backup. Let’s get these kids back to the station so we can all go to bed.”

He laughs, and as soon as he starts the car, Officer Santos dives for the radio knob. Screaming metal guitars fill the cab, but the noise dills into Sol’s temples with far too much force for him to enjoy it even a little. He throws his hands over his ears. “Jesus!”

“I agree,” the driver says, grinning, and reaches for the radio himself.

If anything, the candy-coated pop he selects is even worse, especially because he grins widely and starts singing along. Sol’s head hurts entirely too much for him to judge whether or not the driver is any good. “Christ, will you shut up?”

When Officer Santos yanks the radio back to the metal station, Sol gives up and reaches forward around Kent to slam the sliding door in the divider closed, and although the sound doesn’t entirely cut off, it at least dies down to a bearable drone. Sinking back into his seat, Sol heaves a relieved sigh, mostly for the sake of his own pounding headache, but also because even in his sleep Shawn looks fucking exhausted, sweat visible on his forehead even from Sol’s seat.

Sol rests his head against the pleasantly freezing glass of his own window and basks in the silence for a second. In fact, he makes it a respectable forty seconds before he can’t resist shooting Kent a sideways glance.

The blond is playing with the bandage above his eye, and looking deeply uncomfortable. Sol frowns at him.

“You know,” Sol says abruptly, and doesn’t stop when Kent winces at the sound of his voice, “I don’t fucking get you, kid. There’s no way they’d take you to the station if you’d called him and had him pick you up. You’ve gotta be fucking loaded, right?”

Kent’s blue eyes slide over to Sol’s face, and then he looks down at his hands, smiling unhappily. “I’m not actually sure I am ‘loaded’ anymore. He may have actually disinherited me this time.”

“What, for— “ Winking at me? Sol doesn’t say. “What’d you do?”

Kent’s answering huff of laughter is pathetic enough that Sol almost doesn’t hear it over the hum of the car around them and the faint pounding of bass from the front seat. “Uh, I dunno. Something stupid, I guess,” he says softly, and twists his hands together.

For a second, his sleeve shifts up and Sol catches a fast glimpse of a single, deep scar on his left wrist, but he tugs it back down so fast Sol can’t be entirely sure.

There’s a very awkward silence. Sol wonders if Kent knows he’s seen it. Probably not.

“It’s like a twenty minute ride to the station, man,” Sol says, when he doesn’t think he can take it anymore. “Elaborate, dammit.”

Kent winces a little and shifts in his seat, poking at the thin scar on his forehead in a way that seems unconscious. “Uh, not that it’s any of your business, but I— broke up with my girlfriend.”

Sol blinks, and waits for him to go on. He doesn’t.

“What the fuck’s that got to do with you dad?” he asks blankly, and Kent laughs and looks away, really scrubbing at his scar now in a way that looks like it should be painful.

“Uh, well, I say girlfriend but I guess the real word is fiance,” he says, fidgeting, and that pulls Sol right up short again.

“Huh? How old are you, man?”

Kent laughs again, looking everywhere but at Sol’s face. “I’ll be twenty this May,” he mumbles. “Sophie and I grew up together, and I think my father kind of decided I’d marry her when we were, like, nine. Her dad’s a business associate.”

“He what? What year is this?” Sol says blankly. “Who the hell does that?”

“My father does, I guess,” Kent says, and the way he says “father” reminds Sol of things he doesn’t really want to think about. Damn, he’s really going to town on that scar of his. Sol’s surprised he hasn’t just torn it right back open.

“So why’d you break up with her, then?” Sol says, because goddammit that’s enough with the awkward pauses. “Because you’re gay?”

Kent actually splutters at that one, and actually looks Sol in the eye for the first time in the whole damn car ride. He also colors prettily. Sol feels weirdly pleased with himself. “Uh,” Kent says, and then looks away, flushing. “Um… no, actually. Or not… entirely, anyway.” Oh, god, now he’s digging his nails against his scar. “I’m not really sure why I did it, exactly. I think maybe I just wanted— I wanted— “

Sol one hundred person does not mean to dart his hand up and wrap it around Kent’s and after he’s done it his brain catches up with him and they both freeze and sit there stock still for at least ten seconds, Sol’s bandaged fingers all tangled up with Kent’s.

Finally Sol drops their twined-together hands to the tiny space on the seat between his right leg and Kent’s left one, even though half of his brain is screaming at him to let go of the guy’s hand oh god.

“Fucking quit that before you tear your fucking face open, okay? Forget it, I’m sorry I asked.”

Kent is staring down at his hand, which is still trapped beneath Sol’s, and wow, he is red all the way down to his broken collarbone.

Sol stares down at their hands too, and is feeling his own face start to flush when he’s saved by Shawn apparently coughing up one of his lungs. They both jump like they’ve been shot, and Kent snatches his band back before turning to touch Shawn��s shoulder with admirable care.

“Hey, you alright?” Kent asks him, and Shawn, shaking with chest-deep coughs, shakes his head.

“Oh man,” he says faintly. “Dude. I feel like absolute shit right now.”

#whump #original whump #zombie apocalypse whump #close quarters #angry hand holding #suicide reference #disinherited #rejected by family #trans mc #classic you have a weird name I know im trans exchange #sustained injuries #scars #the café at the end of the world

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strykingback · 4 years

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ʌ: comfort after a nightmare - for Violet & Hermes would be nice!

Warning the following drabble will contain these trigger warnings: Gore, Abuse, Blood, Vivisection, etc. Please do not read this if you have the following triggers.

Hermes was resting beside his lover Violet softly sleeping with her in their room together. The warmth of the pillow covering Hermes so quietly and like an embrace was just so comfortable to be in. If only he could see in her dreams that Violet could be having.

Then what better dream for Violet than that of her holding her beloved Hermy in her arms kissing him whenever he was happy or sad. What better place than to be in than a field of flowers. “Mmm.. Hermy...” she softly spoke outside of her dream in such a tired voice.

However for Hermes, it was not a dream more or so.. his torturous nightmare of when he was being experimented on like a rat. Just how he remembered it all.. being cursed with immortality, having his light magic taken away from him, his body in penultimate pain every time he moved (Luckily the pain subsided after the first thousand years or two).

Being in his cave Hermes had not witnessed the End of Ancient Remnant, The Grimm Titan War, or the Great Resurgence, instead when he first walked out he had witnessed the blinding light of the sun for the first time in ages, and the floating city of Atlas.

Going to investigate his body was totally in the nude due to his clothes deteriorating and people questioning what happened to him. His malnourished state, and others asking how was he even able to survive for that long.

Hermes did not reply to no one but he was taken up by the Atlesian police and questioned, which he answered everything truthfully and honestly, but he also shown them that he was immortal. Their eyes could not believe it at first,.. just how fast he was able to heal. However if he held the secrets to immortality then the Atlesian military would want it.

Thus, instead of being released he was sent to an unknown facility, little did he know.. this was the place where his torture would begin. In the real world Hermes began to jerk and move around a bit softly moaning in anguished pain at the memories that were playing in his head once more. “PIECE OF SHIT!!!” “MOTHER FUCKING SACK OF BALLS!!!” “BEST MAKE US IMMORTAL!” “COME ON THEN CRAZY!!! ARENT YOU GONNA GET UP AND FUCKING FIGHT!” Those were the insults that was thrown at him by the Atlesian soldiers that had shouted at him and made him feel like shit. Each punch they swung a flow of blood came from his mouth and nose, from each kick he felt his ribs getting cracked, and from each stomp his hands and fingers were broken. Yet.. it always healed

Back in the real world Hermes kept moving around and this time what turned from moans turned to groan... yet he remembered something that he did not want to remember for so long.. his first Vivisection.

He could remember the surge of pain that he felt and how he screamed so loudly when waking up to see his own organs being pulled out and played with, rivers of blood just dripping from it leaving even Hermes horrified at the sight as he threw up and fainted back into unconsciousness.

Yet came the next part...of his first trial of being an experiment, the flaying of his skin, being hooked up to a machine that shot a stinging laser piercing into his soft tender like skin then just everything being pulled off... and Hermes witnessing his own muscle and veins.. all made him but horriefied as he fainted from the shock.

Y̬e̝̣̪̻̩t̖̳͠ ͓̣̳̣i͏̜͖̙̬͚ͅt̤͖ ̡̳̤̰̹͇ͅa̛͚̠̖͙̦̦̭l̠̤͙̝̬̙w͍̳͇a̡y̢̟̳̱̹̺s͕͕͟ ̟͕̣̼͜h̸̤̝̤e͟a̴̖̫̹̞̫͔̩l̜̮̦̦e̛͖̩̩d҉͖̲̬ ̙̬̟̻̝̻

Coming next was his the R&D testing for newer weapons, he was tested like a rab lat meaning to run before he got blasted to bits, and nearly dying of course. Sometimes he succeeding surviving, sometimes he didnt which lead to him witnessing his own limbs getting blown off or being poisoned by biological warfare.

Yͣ̏̚eͧ̈́͂̽ͭ͊̑҉͡t̛̂̆ͨͥͩͣ͏ ̿̓͠iͥ̈́ͩͧt̶̡ͪ̌ͣ̾ ̛͗ͣ͘a̓ͨͣ̏͋ļ̊̌ͬ̐w͌̐̒ͮͥ̅́a̴̴̎͛̃ͫ̎̋y̡͒͘͢s̸̓ͨ ͛̊̇ͫ͟hͫͧ̽̀͂̔̇e̢̾̊̇̐̌́a̸͑͂ͭ̐̾̊̏ļͩ́eͥ̈́̏ͫ̈́̓̉͆͜͞d̷ͪ̄̿́̾ ͛̊ͭ̃̈͛̆͢͝

Which out of Hermes’ dream he began to softly whimper and his breathing starting to quicken and his body growing goosebumps as his movement increased to the point where he was tugging on the blanket stirring Violet from her dream.

Next was the constant silence of being alone for years as Hermes was beginning to break down the voices of the past all of them damning him for abandoning them all for his quest for playing God. “Why Hermes.. why would you do this.” The voice of his wife spoke

“You have tried to play as God Hermes, However you must learn about the beauty of life.. your beloved will be far from your reach..” The voice of the God of Light said.

“Hermes please.. we want you to come home.. please... stop your experiments...” The voice of one of his fathers spoke in his mind.

“I must... stay sane...” Hermes said weakly breathing heavily in a sweat, he clearly remembered what his room looked like how he had markings of each day on there, equations of a possible escape in the Ancient Remnant language, tally marks of each and every day that had passed.

The next experiment was one that tested Hermes himself yet this experiment was so indescribable...even some scientists found it inhumane... and just.. a major violation of Hermes’ own human rights... feeding him to a Grimm Squid which not only took its time “playing” with Hermes.. but ripping him apart.. bit by bit. As always with his wounds and everything...

Y̸̔̍̂̑̔̂Ĕ̶̌͗ͤ̏͐ͪͨŢ̓͒ͦͭ̇ͤ̓̋͛̕ ̴̢ͬ͐̄I̢̍ͤ͒̇T̶̢͐͐͆͟ ̒̎͛͝Aͤͦͫ͒ͪ͌͂́L̢ͫͧ͐̓͂W͑̆̇͑ͯ͑͂͐́҉̸A̡ͣ̆͋̀Ẏ͐ͧͣ҉̢Ṡ͗͞ ͩͯ͠F̌ͬ͟U̒̚Č́͏́K͐͆̐̂̈I̛̽͐̒ͮ͊̎̾̓Nͩ̎̓ͦͮ̾̚G̴ͫ̎҉ ͥͦ̉̔̿҉̕͘H̡̾̂͑͜E̶̛̒͑̿͋̆ͭȦͨ͞Ļͣͦ̃̀E̵͗̂͋ͬ͛͊͒̓D̡͑̉ͫͯͦͭͯͩ͠!ͦ̿͆͠!ͩ́ͫ̍ͥ̆!̢̇̿̌̉͋ͥͩ͞!̔ͤ̋̂̿̅ͦ͏̕

Once again out of his dream Hermes, started to sweat profusely and move to the point where he began rip away the blanket as got on all fours... groaning with a bit of distortion to it... like a wild animal. Which when Violet stirred waking up moaning a bit. “Hermy... go to bed... ple- Hermy??”

Finally the final experiment that broke him... that destroyed his mind entirely. The Semblance Limiter project he remembered the cool steel being around his neck as he attempted to go full power and how he was no longer called Hermes.. only SUBJECT-731.

And when he tried to go full power... and that first shock came through his brain and mind..

“YES!!! AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAA~!!! MORE PAIN!!! FUCK ME!!! KILL ME!!! I WANNA SEE MORE OF MY INNARDS!!! YOUR GOD DEMANDS IT!!!!”

Hermes screeched at the top of his lungs causing every scientist to leave the room in horror... as he rushed the window slamming into it and licking it wildly like a wild animal. ...

Finally back in the real world, Hermes looked up to the sky and screamed loudly waking up crying and sobbing. “KILL ME!!! PLEASE!!! AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING GODS!!!!” Hermes screamed loudly causing Violet to wake up immediately and allowing herself to quickly hug Hermes tightly. “Hermes!! Hermy!! Come back its me! Violet.. you’re okay! You’re okay!!” She pleaded which Hermes’ insane laughter came to an end looking at her with his expression softening up with tears flowing out of his eyes and quickly hugging her tightly.

“It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts.. It hurts...” Hermes sobbed softly. “Shh.. Hermy, its all over now ok.. its over.. You’re safe now.. you’re safe now..” Violet spoke rubbing her beloveds head and giving him plenty of kisses on the head. Yet.. while the wounds of old has healed.. the mind never forgets. But that doesnt mean every memory was bad. Hermes meeting Team RNJR and BOUT (Blade and Outsider), Merlinda helping him and every Atelier scientist making working to find a way to safely remove the Semblance limiter from his neck, The kindness of Louvel reaching out to him, and even better Exaltia and Cashmere soothing his insanity giving him a chance to regain his sanity.

Finally the ultimate thing that truly helped his mind heal...being with Violet... thats what helped the most. He just stayed there until he was calmed down and sleeping again this time in Violets embrace.. just her embrace alone felt warmer than any blanket in the world.

#xbloodsoakedx #[The Sane God- Sane!Hermes]#tw: gore. tw :vivisection #tw: blood #tw: abuse #//Hermes has been through the SHITTER #//And theres a good reason why he resents Atlas a lot.

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crowsent · 5 years

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👶,⭐,💘, and💻. Love you!!

thank you for ask anon! writer ask game is here if yall wanna send in something. still taking asks for these btw

👶- advice for new writers =

yall this is hella fucking generic but PRACTISE. theres a reason almost literally every writer on tumblr gives the advise of “practise practise practise” and that reason is it works. practise doesnt mean ‘oh just write bc youll automatically get better over time’ it means ‘write bc if you dont, you wont figure out what you need to improve.’ did yall know that i literally had no sentence variation in the past? i started every sentence with [character name] or [character pronoun] and i didnt realise until i was 15/16 and i only realised bc i started writing a lot.

i think there’s a fear of failure with new writers. there’s this lingering doubt of “what if its not good?” and boy howdy i will answer that question right fucking now. it wont be good. when i compare my current work to my earlier work, my earlier work sucked fucking shit. i spelled soldier with a fucking ‘j’ and i had no idea what the hell a point of view was. and thats okay. whoever tells you that youre going to perfect writing is a fucking liar. there is no perfecting writing. 20 years from now, imma look at the writing from today and im gonna think it sucks shit. writing is a process. its a craft. you get better and better over time and the way you get better is by experimenting w different styles, different genres, different ways of writing.

and the only way you can experiment and improve is through practise. in video games, especially rpgs (which are my favourite kind of video games), you struggle in the early game. youre at a low level, you dont have good equipment, you have a hard time moving to the next area. but the only way you progress is by grinding, gaining levels, and getting stronger. same w writing. if youre a level 1 writer, just starting out, no idea what to do, just experiment. fuck around a bit. write crackships, write rarepairs, write niche self-indulgent reader/character fics. at the end of the day, you should write for yourself. its good and cool if other people like your stuff and validate all your hard work, but at the end of the day, the one who should enjoy your writing the most is yourself.

you WILL mess up and you WILL struggle, but thats the only way you can improve. i struggle with pacing the most. still do. but others might have pacing down pat and struggle instead with word choice or pov or something else. cant figure out where you need to improve if you dont write, so just practise and worry about all the fine print later

⭐️- how do you get your inspiration? =

this is definitely not universal, but i just sit on my bed, close my eyes, and meditate. cycle through all my emotions and thoughts and filter them out. then i just toss everything out the damn window. like. id just meditate for a while, focus on breathing, on experiencing the present, picture a field and a tree and myself and breathe. thoughts fly by and i let them happen but dont focus on it.

meditating gives me some semblance of emotional control bc i normally have none, and it gives me kind of this space. this safe space that only exists for me and me alone. so i use that space to let the world drift away. just me and my thoughts and sometimes, those thoughts end up being good writing ideas. but i usually meditate for a set amount of time. like 15 minutes or 30 minutes so i dont write until i finish meditating.

then when i get out of my headspace, i open up my laptop and see what i remember. thinking too hard about something causes it to muddy up. same with art. in digital art, artists flip the canvas to refresh their eyes, see if there’s anything weird or wonky about the illustration that they normally dont see bc theyve gotten used to it. flipping the canvas is like giving our eyes a jumpstart and lets us see what we could do better. in traditional art, its turning the canvas this way and that or repositioning yourself. meditating is like that. a break. a cleanse. a kind of pause where you dont think about anything and just try to process what you already have. you relax and kind of let yourself float down a river of thoughts and sometimes, a fish would jump out of that river and youd go “hey, thats a good idea. i should try that” so when you get out of the river, youre refreshed and ready to go.

same principle with showers. more ideas come to you in the shower when you dont have anything to write with bc youre not thinking about it. youre not focusing on finding inspiration or motivation so ideas naturally flow through you. you know that feeling when you want to do x then someone comes along and says “hey you should do x” and suddenly all motivation to do x leaves? same w your brain. focus too much on “i should be writing” or “i want inspiration” and its never gonna come. just let things happen. at least, thats how i do it. some people might get inspiration by reading or watching tv. everyones different so if thats not what works out for you, dont feel pressured to try my method

💘- what’s your favorite AU? Least favorite? =

magic au. specifically fantasy au set in like a pre-modern era. shows like avatar where theres all this magic and fantastical beasts and so on and so forth. semi-modern like six of crows and nevernight are great too. i want that magic to be woven into people’s lives. harry potter is okay but there’s like this separation between magic and muggle. there’s this feeling of “magic” but like as a tool. like a spoon or a gun or a shovel. i want magic au’s that are INTEGRATED with the world its set in.

like in atla, earth kingdom people have trains they move with bending while fire nation people have machines powered by heat and steam. both correspond to their bending and makes sense for the world they live in. but if your plot is like harry potter and its less worldbuilding and more action, then there’s this book series called seasons rising (read it. so good) where there’s a bunch of spells but the spells have character. the people using the spells GIVE it character and it feels much more intimate. pokemon does the whole fantasy mixed w reality better. give two trainers the exact same pokemon and by the time that pokemon reaches lvl 50, its gonna have a different moveset, different fight style, etc bc it was shaped by the world and people around it. i like harry potter but tbh it could have been so much better

for the least favourite au, it’s A/B/O i dont like the whole “omegas are only good for breeding hurr durr” and “alphas are violent and aggressive and cant control themselves around omegas” thing and it squicks me out. major squick. i read the original harry potter squick (THAT one. yeah. you know the one) and i still hate a/b/o more. i get why people like it, and there are one or two fics set in a/b/o au that i enjoy reading, but as a whole, i severely dislike a/b/o fics.

the themes are squick, the character dynamics get so messed up, and shipping dynamics (bc a/b/o fics usually have shipping) just get so blown out of proportion. there are so many a/b/o fics that turn ooc or the character interpretations radically change or something else. no hate against a/b/o fans bc yall are amazing for writing/drawing yalls au. there are things that you can only do in this setting and exploring those things can be incredibly fun for people, but for me personally, its not an au i like to visit.

💻- three works of yours that are must reads =

i. dont know what fandom youre in anon or your genre preferences. so ill just rec you one fic for a different fandom each with kind of different genres. ts masterlist is on my side @hufflepuff-deceit and regular fanfic masterlist is on my writing blog @crownonymous

(BNHA) Viper. its my first serious attempt at fanfic in YEARS and its my baby. currently has 7 chapters, i havent updated it in a while bc im hyperfocused on ts rn, but i love it to bits. its just all of my fav bnha fics crammed into one fic. quirkless kind of villain izuku with stain as a mentor as they work together to bring light to the injustices of hero society and where bakugos bullying has visible and long-lasting repercussions? sign me the fuck up. you can read it on ao3 HERE bc its not on tumblr. kind of fast-paced, has a lot more action scenes than anything else ive written. heavy plot-wise but has a lot of humour and comedy to break things up

(Kimetsu no Yaiba) I Pray To God He Hears You. not related to my other kny fic oleander which is a multichap retelling au. iptghhy is a standalone one-shot and kind of a character study on one giyuu tomioka. i love him so much. giyuu is my baby and i adore him. so of course i wrote a sad fic focusing on him. well technically, the fic focuses on giyuu AND his relationships. SPOILERS for chapters 130 and 131 of the manga. focuses mostly on giyuu and sabito, but there’s a fair bit of giyuu and tanjiro and urokodaki. you can read it HERE bc this is also not on tumblr. also deals with heavy things but more emotion-wise since it doesnt have that much of a plot. loss. grief. moving on. survivors guilt. that kind of stuff. very sad. hurt but with comfort, especially at the end.

(Sanders Sides) Logan’s Birthday Fic: Logicality. just what the title says. i wrote 5 different fics and published them all on logans bday but the logicality one received the most feedback and honestly? the cutest of the bunch. its gonna be crossposted onto ao3 but for now, you can read it HERE on my ts sideblog. theres no plot since its literally just domestic and relationship fluff. and puns. patton is in the fic, theres gonna be puns. nothing but good things and warm feelings bc logan deserves it.

thank you so much for such interesting asks anon! i enjoyed answering these. have a lovely day!

#crowsas answers #kny #bnha #sanders sides

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jellybeanbeing · 5 years

Text

A Reaper at the Gates by Sabaa Tahir *UPDATED*

Synopsis:

Beyond the Empire and within it, the threat of war looms ever larger.

The Blood Shrike, Helene Aquilla, is assailed on all sides. Emperor Marcus, haunted by his past, grows increasingly unstable, while the Commandant capitalizes on his madness to bolster her own power. As Helene searches for a way to hold back the approaching darkness, her sister's life and the lives of all those in the Empire hang in the balance.

Far to the east, Laia of Serra knows the fate of the world lies not in the machinations of the Martial court, but in stopping the Nightbringer. But while hunting for a way to bring him down, Laia faces unexpected threats from those she hoped would aid her, and is drawn into a battle she never thought she'd have to fight.

And in the land between the living and the dead, Elias Veturius has given up his freedom to serve as Soul Catcher. But in doing so, he has vowed himself to an ancient power that will stop at nothing to ensure Elias's devotion--even at the cost of his humanity.

REVIEW WITH SPOILERS!

So I read A Reaper at the Gates again and I have new thoughts.

This re-read for me was surprisingly pleasant. I wasn’t planning on reading this but I had a sudden urge to read it so I just picked it up and it was really good. And don’t get me wrong, if you read my other review for this book, you will know that I loved it the first time around, but this time I just noticed a lot of different things that captured my attention and made the story even more complex and better. But I will be honest and say the true reason that I picked up this book again was because of Helene and Avitas. I just really love those two and their slow burn romance. I was really looking forward to it and it was just as I remembered if not, better. Anyways, onto the review!

Starting off with Elias, I know I said I didn’t like his chapters the first time around, but I’ve grown to really love them and appreciate them and his character. But his chapters still weren’t my favorite. Anyways, I found that his chapters were the most emotional and heart wrenching because Elias, this dude who loves so much, has to learn not to love anymore. We can see his slow progression into his detachment to the human world and it is so sad to read. I also really liked that with his chapters, we the readers got to see the true complexity that is this novel. The story is essential set up in the beginning as good vs evil, but with the stories of the jinn, we see that all sides have done their damage so the big question is put out there: who’s right and who’s wrong? And I absolutely love this because it strays away from the black and white of things and shows the true realities of war and the world.

Laia kind of annoyed me this time around. I love her with all of my heart but, she kept doing things she was told not to do, and it bothered me. I was so frustrated with her because I felt like she kept playing hero at the wrong times. She kept trying to save every one person she saw suffering, and I know her reasoning for it (because she wants to save just one life if she can or something like that) but THINK OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. Yeah, she can save that one child, but she can also save thousands of others if she just kept going instead of stopping for every one person. And don’t get me started with how easily this girl gets distracted. When she found out that Cook was her mom and they were reunited, she literally stopped and said that what happened between them was more important than their mission TO SAVE THE ENTIRE EMPIRE. HELLO? MORE IMPORTANT? *sighs heavily* I will say though, that I love that Laia makes mistakes. It makes sense for her character because all the others are more experienced than she is, with all the killing and other stuff. It also makes her more real.

Helene Aquilla is my girl. I love her so much. I just love seeing her growth, though it is heartbreaking. Her chapters were (again) my favorite, and I think that really has to do with the amount of different characters in her chapters. She is really the only character in this book who interacts with more than four people throughout the entire book. Through Helene’s chapters, we the readers can really grasp at how serious and more complex the war is. Also the “villains” were most present in Helene’s chapters and boy, are they written so well. I’ll get to that later. I guess all I really have to say for Helene though, is that I just loved her and her chapters. There’s nothing more to say.

Now for all three of these characters—Elias, Laia, and Helene—the one absolute thing that bothered me was that they didn’t seem to use their brains or common sense.

For Elias, he kept fucking around when Shaeva was trying to teach him his role as Soul Catcher and she even told him that she didn’t know if she would have enough time but still he kept skipping out and not learning. And what did that result in? Shaeva dying and then Elias barely having clue on how to pass on the ghosts all because he didn’t fucking listen.

For Laia, she kept passing over the minuscule details that later turned out to be crucial. In the beginning, she notices that the town where she’s trying to free Mamie, is empty and she’s like, that’s no concern of mine. WELL IT TURNS OUT THAT THAT WAS CRUCIAL BECAUSE YA GOT CAUGHT. She also kept assuming things that were later on not true, like when she thought she was the ghost and was so certain of it but it turned out that Cook was the ghost.

For Helene, she used her brains at bit more like with the figuring out the ships and what not, but she kept playing into the Commandant’s hands unintentionally, even when she was warned so many times not to. I think she just kept thinking about being one step ahead of Keris that she literally played into her hands and was like, ARE YOU SERIOUS? And let’s be honest, Avitas was a real big help in helping Helene try to take down Keris.

Now for the “villains” (The Commandant, The Nightbringer, and Marcus), I personally really liked how well they were written. The complexity and human qualities they have make them such interesting characters.

First off, Marcus: What he became at Blackcliff and after that was truly disgusting. He deserved to die, but I can’t help but feel sad for him. In Elias’s last chapter, there’s a line that explains this perfectly: “I take their darkness—that which Blackcliff found within them and nurtured—and Mauth consumes it...When I look back at the twins, they are boys once more, untainted by the world.” It’s so real and it’s sad. I will admit that I cried at his death scene and the last scene where he is with his brother. After Zak’s death, we see the more human side of him leaking through and it gave his character more complexity than just being this stagnant jackass.

For The Nightbringer, we see in his own two chapters why he wants to bring the jinn back. With his character’s POV and the jinn’s story, it really shifts the image of his character from being just evil into this morally grey character. He’s doing what he’s doing because he wants his family back and they were betrayed. He wants vengeance. I really love this because it gives reason behind his doings. It doesn’t make him out to be this bad guy, just to be the bad guy.

And for Keris, I am the most intrigued by her. I find the meaning behind her tattoo so fascinating and so well done. I read that part again and my jaw was completely dropped. Slowly, we’re uncovering the secrets of her past and it’s so good. I am wanting more, especially with that cliffhanger at the end where the Wisp is actually Keris’s mom. There are so many unanswered questions and I want them now. She did get on my nerves though. So much.

The romances in this book weren’t very heavy but it was a good amount. Laia and Elias’s relationship was meh, for me if I’m being honest here. The one thing loved though was how they kept referring to each other as friends or that they just really cared for each other. I was like, yeah, yeah, shut up, y’all love each other.

But Helene and Avitas? My favorite! Slow burn and hate to love romances are my absolute favorite tropes and that’s what this couple is. I love the slow build up of their attraction for each other and the subtle flirting that happens. It’s so darn cute and I’m shipping this so hard.

I cannot wait for when Elias finally tells Laia what he said in the caravan before he left: “You are temple, you are my priest, you are my prayer, you are my release.” I AM READY TO CRY WHEN IT HAPPENS.

Also, I cannot, I repeat, CANNOT wait for when Avitas finally says “Helene” instead of Blood Shrike. I WILL SCREAM FROM THE ROOFTOPS WHEN IT HAPPENS. He’s been so close to saying it and I just can’t wait. God, these romances kill me.

One last thing before I wrap everything up. The one thing that really had me thinking was, does Blackcliff Academy not train their students in things other than combat? Because Elias, top student of Blackcliff Academy, seemed to lack in skills like strategy and stuff like that. And whenever he mentioned about going into Mask-mode, it was to always fight and be emotionless. And if the answer is yes, Blackcliff does teach things other than combat, then why and how the hell did Elias become the top student? IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE. Also, does Laia have a last name? Where is Spiro Teluman? That man literally up and left. What are the rankings for the soldiers? (Auxes, centurions, masks, all that jazz). Okay, that’s it. 4/5 stars!

Definitely go check out my other Reaper review!

#an ember in the ashes #a torch against the night #a reaper at the gates #sabaa tahir #books #book review #book reviews #spoilers #book spoilers #elias veturius #laia of serra #helene aquilla

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roseamongroses · 5 years

Text

Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”

[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.

[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,

[Tags/mood:] highschool au, fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)

(Ao3) (Previously)

(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)

(16) (17) (18)

L: I May Have Lost Roman

V: nice

P: not nice :)

V: i feel vaguely threatened

Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details

L:I don��t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious

L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri

V: why is he there

L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?

V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension

Rem: that’s pretty fair

P: it really is tbh

V: Send. Pictures.

L: Okay L: Slight Issue

V: you lost the snake too

L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling

Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking

L:...Where? The bathroom?

Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)

V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy

L: Alright time to find them

Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))

L: Remy.

Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop

L: Thank you.

V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company

L:Huh L:Found them

L: Roman….found a katanna…

V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword

Rem: drop the location of that store man

L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it

L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned

V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword

L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one

V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.

L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman

Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)

---

“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.

Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.

Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.

“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”

Oh.

Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.

It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.

“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.

“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.

“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”

“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.

Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”

Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.

His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”

Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--

“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”

Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.

She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—

He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.

He felt sick.

---

R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF

L: Roman?

R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???

L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?

R: why are YOU up mm????

L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?

R: well fuck got me there

R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep

L: Any particular reason?

R: u m

L: Private chat?

R: please

- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]

TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot

Cowboy:it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it

Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it

TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind

Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us

TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?

Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it

Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy

Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!

Cowboy: when i fuck up i

Cowboy: god it's stupid

TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.

TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.

Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman

Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes

TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away

Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows

Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool

Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????

Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???

Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know

TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics

Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??

TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.

Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page

TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?

Cowboy: i think so

TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you

Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue

TheWalkinMouth: Wait

Cowboy: nothing nothing continue

TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.

TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans

TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner

TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out

TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.

TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.

TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end

Cowboy:

[...Cowboy is typing…]

---

@daflangstlairde

@ace-anx

@cataclysm-al

#Roman sanders #Deceit Sanders #Roceit #ts sides #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #ts virgil #ts logan #ts remy #Antithesis

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actualbird · 7 years

Note

BIRD BIRD BIRD I JUST THOUGHT OF AN AU IDEA ok ok mind reader michael. jeremy is in class one day, thinkin dirty thoughts as per the usual, and he suddenly gets paranoid like we all do when we do that shit and he thinks "if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me." and he. he hears a cough. and jeremy freezes and turns around to face michael mell, this kid he's had a crush on for a while but never talked to, and he thinks "cough if you can hear me," again. (cont)

EDIT: anon is @transtarks!!!! this au baby was created first and foremost in his wonderful brain

oh my GOD!!! wow so im very in love with mind reader!michael. before tackling that hilarious scenario, theres like. so much to explore here

MICHAEL who can READ MINDS. in ur sitch, you imply that he cant talk back into minds, which is just so lonely, i think. he’ll learn pretty early that what he’s got isn’t Normal after many instances of him answering questions that werent asked or him knowing things he shouldnt. his mom needs to sit him down and tell him that they’re a little different. not bad. just different. but that other people dont like this and you have to be quiet about it.

which michael find endlessly unfair. he has to be the quiet one when he has to deal with the constant chatter of minds all around him that never stops? it sucks, but he’s read enough xmen to understand why.

but it is NOISY. his headphones are godsend and music does a lot to help, but those can only go so far in drowning out the noise.

some thoughts are quiet and michael needs to strain to hear the words past the soft murmurs. things like his mom making a grocery list in her head or some kid he passed by on the sidewalk counting red cars as they drove by. mundane things are quiet, but the more emotional they get, the louder they become. happy thoughts are loud thoughts, but so are angry ones and terrified ones.

and it doesnt just equate to sound. to a certain degree, michael can feel thoughts, if they are strong enough. which is pretty much hell on michael’s senses. happy thoughts feel nice, but too much is overwhelming. dont even get him started on negative thoughts. those feel like bile and nails against a chalkboard.

against all odds, michael gets used to it. he finds his own ways to cope with the side effects of being plugged in to everybody else’s mind, but the one thing he couldnt deal with was the loneliness.

constantly, he feels like he’s intruding. while mind reading comes with so many cons, michael sees himself at an unfair advantage concerning everybody else. after all, he knows things about people before they say it. sometimes he knows things about people that they maybe didnt want anybody to know. it’s hard to make friends in that kind of situation.

and it’s really hard not being able to tell anybody at all.

ENTER JEREMY “SEX THOUGHTS IN CLASS” HEERE

oh boy okay so. michael probably knows jeremy. not knows-him-as-a-friend, but he’s heard his mind before. jeremy’s head is…a bit of a mess.

(see, michael has come across a lot of minds in his life. some minds are more organized than others. some are bustling with energy while others a bit more subdued. some are bright and others are so dark michael has to stop himself from crying in public. often, he wonders what his mind looks like, but he cant really trust his mom when she only says nice things because she’s his mom. )

anyway, jeremy’s mind is like being inside a washing machine. things tumbling everywhere. jeremy’s head does not shut up. ever. the kid is always thinking about stuff like “oh, im walking pretty weird, i gotta fix that” or “she’s looking at me. what did i do? is there something on my face? is it my face?” or, and this one pops up a lot it makes michael’s heart hurt, “i wish i wasnt like this”

(so many times, michael almost speaks to jeremy out of nowhere to just. compliment the guy. he’s really not as bad as he thinks himself out to be. jeremy’s head might be self destructing 24/7, but he’s a good person. and he’s cute too WHATEVER. but michael is pretty sure that if he tells jeremy that his hair is nice, jeremy will spiral into paranoia where he’ll think michael is fucking with him. so michael doesnt say anything. he just silently hopes that maybe jeremy gets a day or two where his mind can stop beating himself up over every tiny thing)

michael gets to know jeremy’s anxiety before he gets to know jeremy, and thats mostly because in addition to never shutting up, jeremy’s brain is also very loud. maybe it has something to do with how jeremy is always on edge, but michael doesnt know. what he does know is that jeremy heere, professional anxious teenager, decides to spend this math class just thinking about sex. LOUDLY.

it starts with a stray thought about the porn jeremy watched last night then it spirals into various random fantasies and michael wants to jump out the window. not because any of it is weird!!! but just because this is WAY TOO PERSONAL. michael tries his best to concentrate on parabolas, but jeremy throws up an image of GAHHH!! he tries to concentrate on trisha in the front row who’s got a bad case of song-stuck-in-head, which is the next best thing to real music but then jeremy goddamn heere derails him with LOUD MOANING. (which might??? be his????)

record scratch. jeremy’s head goes eerily quiet. then, very deliberately, he thinks “ if anyone in here is a mind reader, cough if you can hear me.”

it’s RIDICULOUS but it’s also the first time he’s ever been addressed in this way. it’s kind of incredible, and all the “dont tell anybody” momentarily disappears in the face of jeremy “sex thoughts” heere talking to him using his head.

so he coughs. and jeremy turns his head. they make eye contact and michael very deliberately starts coughing.

jeremy’s head is quiet for a tense few seconds

then jeremy thinks, “well fuck”

and thus starts the very awkward beginning of michael and jeremy’s friendship. the possibilities for this are endless but this answer is already too long khfkjdfh

#bmc #mind reader au #ANON THANK U FOR THIS IT'S A FANTASTIC CONCEPT WITH SO MANY POSSIBILITIES #asks

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tumblunni · 7 years

Note

How do I write an autistic villain without demonizing autism by accident? ;-;

I’m not really sure why you’re messaging this to me. I’m really sorry but I’m not an expert on like.. political stuff about autism stereotyping, just because I’m autistic. And it depends on which country you live in, I know that america has a far more visible sort of cultural presence for stereotypes, due to the whole Autism $peaks controversies. I dont live in america and I’m not super smart or anything, so yeah this is a disclaimer that this is just my opinion and you should probably research answers given by other people too. And maybe ask people about the specific circumstances of what you’re writing, like the context of the setting of the story and what the villain is like, etc. I’d be happy to chat to you about that if you need help! (but again, im no expert, lol)

ANYWAY!

My opinion on the subject is that having an autistic villain is perfectly fine, as long as you’re not villainizing autism. Like...* Don’t make the autism the reason theyre a villain.* Don’t make people scared of them because of the autism, rather than because they’re a villain.* Don’t treat their autistic traits as scary or inherantly villainous.* Don’t make anyone insult them for their autism and act like its justified because they’re evil.

And similarly its bad form to do any of that stuff in regard to any sort of minority really. An example that always bugged me is how Excellus from Fire Emblem Awakening is scary and evil because he’s a murderous monster, yet everyone in the game constantly insults him for the fact he acts ambiguously gay/transgender/effeminate. Like, there’s way too many jokes about people finding him ‘disgusting’ because of some random thing he can’t change, like a sexuality, race or mental illness which plenty of non-evil people have too! It also lessens his impact as a villain because the characters barely even address the actual villainous things he does, and he doesnt seem to have any motive at all. They just ride on the whole ‘the audience will find him gross’ thing as a crutch and forgot to bother writing a good villain.

Oh, and your concerns are indeed valid, yo! Sometimes it is important to think about the context you created a character in, even if you didnt intentionally create any negative messages within your writing.It’s just that the case where a character will be seen as villainizing [minority trait] for being a villain... that’s kind of only in a very specific circumstance? its just that this specific circumstance is very very common in mass media nowadays.It’s ‘The Smurfette Principle’.If you only have one character of a minority in your cast, its easy for an uninformed audience to pick up messages that you’re saying ALL members of that minority are the same as them.If you only have one autistic character and he’s the villain, then you might accidentally be villainizing him. In a world where autistic characters being villainized for their autism is already very common, people could just assume you made them autistic for the same reason all those other writers did- because they think it’s ‘scary’. It feeds the stereotype even if you didn’t conciously intend it that way.

So a very very easy way to fix this problem is just to add multiple characters of a minority into your story, filling various roles from villain to hero to helpful npc. or anything you can think of!

Another good quick fix is to have your villain be autistic, but portray their autistic traits as sympathetic/relateable/a humanizing aspect of them. Not just portraying it as something neutral that doesnt make them scary, but going out of your way to add some scenes showing how they’re just like anybody else. Or even making it one of their redeeming traits!It doesn’t have to outright be something like ‘yo being autistic makes me inherantly good and childlike’, which is a stereotype all to itself, lol. But you could show them experiencing predjudice from another character, in a way that makes the audience sympathise. Honestly having a character attack them for being autistic instead of being a villain would be a good way to do this, as long as that character is actually shown as being wrong for what they’re doing. Or simply showing the villain having common autistic traits, facing common problems, doing common everyday things... that can be enough to portray autism positively. Have them shown doing this stuff outside of the situation of them being villainous. It makes them feel more human and less of an abstract symbol of evil. And because these small glimpses of normality are lightening the mood, they become seen as a positive aspect!

KIND OF AN OFFTOPIC TANGEANT SORRYJust my personal experience as an autistic kid experiencing this story... I personally headcanoned Cyrus from pokemon as autistic. Not because he’s ‘scary and emotionless’, but because his backstory was relateable to me as an autistic person. It’s said that his parents were emotionally abusive, and that he had nobody to turn to because everyone thought he was ‘a creepy kid’. And he was able to find solace by obsessing over repairing machines in his bedroom, and apparantly has trouble understanding people because they can’t be fixed as easily. Stuff like maths and science are kind of a stereotypical Special Interest for autistic children to be given in fiction, I guess because it makes you seem more intelligent when you obsess about that instead of video games, norse mythology, or collecting tiny novelty spoons from around the world XD (Yeah i was a weird kid.)So yeah sorry I went a little offtopic there, but the point is that it might have been by accident instead of intention but that villain has a lot of traits that read as autistic. And when i first played Diamond and Pearl I actually disliked him a lot because of that, I felt like they were villainizing someone who seemed relateable and potentially redeemable. I mean, he seemed pretty depressed too! Give that man some therapy! But when I played Platinum and got to learn his backstory I started to feel like the writers actually did want us to feel sympathetic to him, because of how all those ‘scary’ traits were presented so sympathetically. Like.. the backstory isn’t that he became evil because he was an autistic kid who did creepy things like obsess about machinery and suck at social contact. No, he became a villain because he was abused by his parents, him being ‘weird’ is just intended to make it clear here that he didnt deserve it. It makes him pitiable, it makes him relateable, it makes you feel so much more frustrated that nobody listened to him and saved him from that hell, and nobody even seems to remember him fondly, just because he was ‘weird’. And hell, even his ‘emotion is evil’ philosophy seems very relateable to me as an autistic child. It seems like he learned to seclude himself to avoid angering his parents. That’s the impression I got from his final scene in Platinum, where he finally acts angry at you for beating him, then gets angry at himself for expressing emotion and forces himself to go back to how he usually talks. I get a bit pissed off whenever I see fans of the series claim he actually IS emotionless, lol! This scene made it clear to me that this is just a guy who WISHES he was emotionless, somehow seeing it as the only way to be free of pain. Someone who struggles to deal with his own emotions, or feels like he’s disgusting when he expresses them. And this is VERY relateable specifically to an autistic kid who suffered from an abusive parent! “Quiet Hands” is a kind of common concept that autistic kids might experience, that’s the name for a popular ‘parenting technique’ that really fucks people up. Focusing on making your kid never ‘act autistic’, rather than actually helping them understand things. ‘Quiet Hands’ is specifically about slapping or smacking your kid whenever they show stimming behaviour. (Hand flapping being a common way this symptom can manifest.) We’re taught never to be too loud, and to always always have to restrain ourselves to avoid embarassing our parents. We have to try and learn how to act like ‘normal people’ and become scared of harmless parts of our own brain just because theyre ‘embarassing’, leading to even worse emotional problems as an adult. i mean seriously how is it logical to tell a kid who has troubles with social interaction that they shouldnt even practise it?? Plus its a huge mess to teach these kids to do way more emotional labour than neurotypical kids are expected to do, and then treat them like they’re below average intelligence for not being able to do twice as much as everyone else...

ANYWAY! That’s a thinG! Sorry I went rambling off there about how a particular fictional character touched my heart, lol!I just kinda wish he could be canonically autistic, or if I had similar canonically autistic characters to relate to, instead. So i think having more autistic villains can’t be bad, we’re so badly in need of more autistic characters in general! And villains have a unique perspective of being able to hit our emotions the hardest. I think its easier to cry over someone who has a sad backstory of how they became evil, compared to anything else!So yeah what I was trying to say before I went offtopic is that if the backstory is ‘became evil because autism’, then people will complain. But if the backstory is ‘became evil because someone mistreated them because autism’ then that’s a good way to make people sympathise with autism. Aaaaand I’m bad at explaining this, because autism XD Well, i mean, my personal symptoms and lack of diagnosis til I was an adult means that I’m still working on learning how to communicate correctly, I don’t mean every autistic person writes terrible tl;dr advice posts that degrade into pokemon XDOh man i feel embarassed now, you asked me such a polite question and I didnt know how to answer it very well...I just hope maybe I inspired you to go out and do more research, rather than putting you off with my nonsense!

#im sorry this is incoherant and bad #i didnt know what specifically was making you worry so #i tried to explain all the common problems and solutions i've seen from different villains #if this didnt help would you mind sending me another ask with what i got wrong?#or more info on your villain so i can figure it out a bit more #i hope your storywriting is going well and you have a great day!#A Nonny Mouse #ask

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jesliey · 7 years

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Character Design Questions that i really just wanted to do because they looked fun

Tagged By: No one. I do what I want.

Most of my characters started in D&D but ill list em all for context:

��Aliphos Gardwin, effectively ex-military Ranger from a what is now a frozen wasteland. Hes like a puppy in my eyes.

Anastasia Shepard, actual military. From my ME binge days. Probably the only one who’ll ever have an actual solid visual depiction

Alistair Shepard, twin brother to Ana. Technically not my character, but he punches things and hes such a dick i love it.

Unit 2038, mass produced celestial war machine with severely stunted emotional development. Had a REALLY long nap a while ago.

Firo Schwartzstein Avanezo, sleazy brat who likes to pickpocket and flirt. Closer inspection might catch a glimpse of some of that old money in his blood though.

Morgenstern, funny how dying from several impalement wounds makes a demonic deal for vengeance seem like a good idea. Might know Aliphos eventually im still pondering that...

Sacha Julian N’Doul, THE RICH PRETTYBOY IS JUST HERE TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

THIS IS REALLY LONG SO UNDER THE CUT IT GOES!

Who’s the oldest character of yours that you still use?

oh man i dont really use them as much as id want to...im not a great writer so i dont really do anything with any of them until something comes up like a d&d game for instance. Id still use all of them given the chance.

Aliphos is the one i can always fall back to though, ive had him the longest

Who’s the oldest character of yours, defunct or not?

Im gonna go ahead and assume this means physically. Pretty sure its Unit...either Unit or Firo. Ones a robot, and the other doesnt age, but i dont exactly remember whos older...

Pretty sure its Unit

Has creating a character ever made you realize something about yourself?

There hasnt been a “realization” per se...

Each character ive made has been some kind of manifestation of what i was feeling creatively at the time, with the exception of Aliphos. Hes straight up my first character who i made not realizing how self-inserty he was all the way back in grade 9 of highschool.

Any minor characters that have either taken over or branched off into their own stories?

See now this ones a bit more interesting because i didnt really have a side character until very recently. Sacha is a backup character for the wandering mess that is the party Morgenstern belongs to, and he acts as chief sponsor after they saved him from bandits. He isnt SUPPOSED to come into the spotlight of the adventure, but he will if Morgen becomes otherwise unavailable

Do you prefer to make human, animal, monster, or _____ characters? Why?

Well i mean “human” is very loosely defined here but yeah. These are characters i know and relate to best and im not a furry, so “human” it is!

ignoring the fact that only four of them are actual humans, and one of those four isnt even mine

When creating a character, do you come up with the visual concept or the written concept first?

written concepts, easily. when im sitting down trying to make a new brain-child theres a list of questions that goes through my head to get a better idea of what im going for.

where did they come from? what is the most important thing that has happened to them this far? how do they react to waking up on just a regular day? what is the most common thing they feel both physically and mentally? how do they handle being in a group of other similarly skilled people?

i find that answering just these gives me a better idea of what im working with than trying to get a picture going before having at it

Do you have characters that you know you’ll never use, but can’t bear to get rid of/recycle?

Im honestly having a hard time envisioning using Ana anywhere. shes a bit of an alcoholic downer, and she doesnt play well with others. Morgen doesnt either, but hes currently in use and even then i have to creatively stretch his personality quite a bit just to keep things rolling

i dont like the idea of just getting rid of characters though. a few of them have died. multiple times in some cases. continuities are a thing that doesnt really exist for me, but it is hard to find a scenario where those two in particular would click in well

Is there a character that embodies your good traits, or traits you wish you had?

Aliphos is generally up-beat most of the time, and Firo and Sacha love a good time more than anything else. in general, theyre my more happy characters and i like holding onto that.

Is there a character that embodies your bad traits? Several characters? Which ones and what traits?

Ana and Morgen are definitely some pretty negative characters at their cores. Morgen less so simply because i felt like i was in a bit of a creative rut and i wanted to try something new, but Anastasia came around back at the end of highschool during the Depression Years™ and it shows...

Morgens definitive characteristics are nonchalant detachment and disdain and anger, where Ana is a depressed alcoholic with a death complex. Theres nothing happy here.

Is there a character that explores your interests or fetishes (orrrr is that just all of you characters)?

The most interesting things i can do with my characters is something that i think is unexpected of myself. I had Ali for YEARS before i tried making another character, and while it was fun making a new one, she boiled down to a drunk depressed version of what came before. The more varied and exploratory i can get with my characters the better.

One of my best experiences with a character was developing Unit. I played out the inner conflict of realizing you are able to take a hold of personal freedom now that you know you can have it while simultaneously not wanting to because youre still holding onto the faith that the higher powers know whats best and you should still be awaiting further instruction. those instructions would never come, and Unit is just another forgotten soldier stuck fighting the war, but it was SO MUCH FUN to play out the moral dilemma and ponder the philosophy! that was such a new experience for me, and i loved it! so i made a point to try and spice it up with whatever i try and make next

If you have characters that embody certain traits of yours—good or bad—has writing them changed how you view those traits? Has it affected you in any way?

In truth? not particularly. i just sorta vomit ideas out onto my characters and whatever sticks sticks. i pay no real mind as to what those ideas mean. its just fun to me.

Do you fantasize about being any of your characters, or are you more detached?

Oh there is no way i can play a character and stay detached...

When im in it? Im in it.

Do you create playlists for your characters?

HELL YEAH I DO. SPOTIFY iS A BEAUTIFUL THiNG.

When writing for specific characters, is there anything you have to do to get into the right mindset?

I will ask myself all the same questions from above as when i come up with the character design, i listen to their playlist if i made one yet, and i picture whatever it was that they just got through experiencing.

a quick crash course refresher on how this character ticks.

Which character is your guilty pleasure?

Oh Sacha easily....hes the first character i think ive made where his entire backstory is hes from a rich family and he likes to try new things. Theres no intricacy here, hes just a simple start to a character and hes fon loving. Hes super refreshing to play around with.

Is there a character of yours who’s a real struggle to write/draw? Why do you think that is?

Award for hardest to work with is probably going to Firo. I just wasnt as invested into making him as i have been for other characters. When i think of characters id like to play around with, hed be on the bottom of the list purely because he has the least amount of my interest

Which character is the easiest to draw/write?

The self insert. Next question.

Is there anything you really wish you could do, character-design-wise, that you feel is outside your current skillset? A concept that you wish you could pull off but are uncertain about?

BRO LITERALLY EVERYTHING. I love coming up with the concepts and flushing them out as i go along, but i am not the greatest at writing and they all just sorta stay in my head. also i cant draw. its a bad time for everyone involved.

What’s more important to you: visual design, unique personality, a trendy character aesthetic, etc? If you’re not sure, then what’s the first thing you usually nail down in a character?

well the first thing i always nail down when i think id like to entertain the thought of a character is their origin. so in a way i guess the aesthetic? though as i said above i like to keep things anything but trendy

Do you ever plan to do anything (comic, animation, etc) with your characters? Or are you just happy to have them?

dude i would love to make something big out of my characters! the problem becomes then that i would need someone who is as in sync with how i perceive my characters to be artistically inclined with, because god knows i cant do shit out here. until that day arises? in my head they stay.

#long post #characters #character building #character design #ill rebagel it and tag a bunch of people later

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foodoliplife · 5 years

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grimeymisanthrope · 7 years

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So...updates.

It is not within the capacity of my current psyche to detail the relationship I have with a young man my friend and I have nicknamed VM (vending machine because he provides what I need in a given moment). I just need to start with tonight, but first last night as well.

First of all, I switched shifts with another one of my co-workers for the sole reason that VM was closing and if I had done so, we would have been the only two of the ‘youngins’ left at the end of the night. Mind you, I made this decision when I was so called “over” him, which lasted for all of last week, but I still remain proud of those few days where I went to work and he wasn’t constantly on my mind and I wasn’t constantly looking around for him. I remember feeling so at ease, especially compared to that day I was boiling with anger, because of him, for no reason. So fast forward to yesterday. I washed and twisted my hair on Friday to wear it out on Saturday so I was feeling myself and my fit was cute so I was feeling undeafeatible, honestly, but I was also feeling a little anxious about seeing VM and how I would react to him.

I get to work at 2:45 and my supervisor tells me to pick any register on express to open up on so I decide to go next to one my favorites of the older West African ladies, who honestly has the biggest heart of anybody I’ve ever encountered. I’m next to another one of my favorite coworkers, a middle aged introverted white man who honeslty does not give one f*ck about a lot of things. He’s very delightful in that sort of way. VM arrives around 4:45 and as he enters through the back of the express lanes to do his initial greetings to everyone, I find myself annoyingly eyeing him as he’s still greeting my coworker as if I can’t wait my turn. He says wassup to me, hugs me, asks how I’ve been I say good and ask about him, and that’s all, he walks off to finish hi

I got to work at 11:45 and I’m put on the express lane where you saw me. Vm got there at 2 but we didnt get the chance to speak to each other until after I had come back from my break when I was bagging for a big lane register and he walked up behind me and said “Wassup wit yu cuz” I heard him clear as day but chose to ignore him, instead I stupidly and goofily smiled into space and waited for him to then say “So you just gon ignore me” and I said “I thought you were talking to (who he had gone to bag for)” and he just looks at me funny and continues to make faces at me that I make to other people (!) I think I say my bad, hello and whatever but whatever that was died right there and didn’t pick up again until I had moved to another register and he came to where I was bagging to take out bags to refill and I said to him “I thought about what you said” and he said “Oh yeah” smiling, goofy, gotta add my two cents for DC accents and especially coming out of the mouth of a hood nigga. So I say “Yeah, and...I need to talk to you.” And he asks what time I get off, I tell him 7:45 and he says okay and we leave that there. He eventually goes on break and while he’s on break I continue to bag and then go onto the register at 5:45 for one of my coworkers. Shortly after I’m put onto the register, VM comes back from break and is instructed to go in for my coworker behind me so here it is day two, that we are working side by side. I honeslty don’t really want to be next to the nigga but I knew it was the universe forcing me to follow up on all that talk I was talking yesterday, saying, “I need a nigga that’s the plug so I don’t have to keep paying for weed” and him entertaining me is how we got to the situation I have now.

We’re quite at first and he eventually says “So you gon say what it is you have to say” and I just say “Yeah” and then I don’t say anything for a while but then I say “First, what did you mean by I’m always playing with you” and he says “Kori, that’s a question that’s not what you had to say” and I say can “Can you just answer the question” but halfway through articulating the sentence I had dropped the subject, long before he added “I was just playing” so I then say “you know thats a hard question to answer, Wassup?” And he was like how and I said because you just threw me off and I really didnt know what to say. And he was like “But I should have been gotten my answer by now” and I was like “Yeah and I have one for you” and he’s looking at me like okay so I’m like I wanna do what you said yesterday and I dont know if I’m sure if he heard me because of course this conversation is happening amidst our lovely customer service so we’re catching ends of conversation or at least he is. I cant remember what few words we exchanged before he eventually asked “Are you sure you want to mess with me, you know I’m a whore, and I’m being honest” (If I remember correctly he said I’m being honest like you said, as if referring to yesterday). I honestly consider his question and express that I really didnt know because the logical thinking portion of my brain has already created a case file on this nigga with pros, cons, worst case scenarios, best case scenarios, like there’s a part of me that honestly and truly knows how I guess we could say difficult of a situation I’m getting myself into, especially considering my own feelings because VM has already established that his feelings play not part. You know what he said tonight to explain how he can separate feelings from sex? He said after he has sex he views it as “thank you, thank you for busting that nut, then I’m going about my business”. But back to the story, conversation doesnt move for a while after that until I say “So you said I’m young, I have a lot to learn and I don’t know if you have the time and patience to be what I need you to be and do what I need you to do” and he looks at me like he wants to look at me crazy but I know and saw it on his face that he knew exactly what I meant. Or did he because he proceeded to ask me what I was looking for in a man and I say to this man “You’re not my nigga so it doesn’t matter what I’m looking for in a man” and he says he knows he’s not my nigga (I wonder if it was important for him to express the fact that he wasnt my nigga) “but still”.

We drop conversation shortly before he starts to tease me, absent-mindedly thinking I’m a virgin so I’m just ignorning him, working, smiling and not saying anything so he says “What is it?” and I’m literally like nigga “It’s what you just said” and he in shock and I’m embarresed, dont really know what to say so I leave it to him to think about.

He asks “So you’ve never done anything no sex, no head, you never talked to a nigga that tried to have sex with you” and we started a little off track conversation about niggas but then I’m starting to feel the power I have in the situation or whatever levrage I have and I’m trying now to flip the table and put it on him. He probably asked me once or twice whether not I thought I was ready and we were just going back and forth about sex and how it affect guys and girls differently and thats when he said all that he had to say about not attaching emotions to sex and I guess I was trying to make it seem like bet okay I can do that too because I’m not looking for a relationship I just want to get this overwith, are you going to help me out?

I noticed his expression changed, he’s kinda dumbfounded now like I can tell he’s actually considering it versus the more playful talk we had earlier. At this point I only have a couple of minutes left of my shift so we havent really come to a conclusion other than smiling and looking at each other stupid. I felt so much better not being the only person under question because now he is too, whether or not he’s going to participate in my deflowering. He did say “I don’t know if you ready, I eat pussy too good” and in my head I’m like well then nigga that means youre staying like no way I’m about to let you go now so I say “You’re supposed to be the best so I can spend my life searching for somebody better” and then he was like you right.

But the last thing I said to him was “You left a question for me now I’m leaving a question for you” and tried to play dumb and say what question but he said it knowing he wasnt going to get a reply because he turned back toward his register soon after EVEN THOUGH I was walking away ignoring him anway

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