#breaking news: the straightest man i have ever met in my life broke up with my sister

[mas-que-loucura-menina]

Yk when you have siblings so sometimes parents talk to both of you about something but it's obviously targeted to a specific sibling? Anyway, my mom was talking about how it would be okay if me or my sis were gay. My sister is in a 3 years old relationship with the straightest man I have ever met.

[theskyrimlibrary]

2920, First Seed, v3

First Seed Book Three of 2920 The Last Year of the First Era

by Carlovac Townway

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

15 First Seed, 2920 Caer Suvio, Cyrodiil

From their vantage point high in the hills, the Emperor Reman III could still see the spires of the Imperial City, but he knew he was far away from hearth and home. Lord Glavius had a luxurious villa, but it was not close to being large enough to house the entire army within its walls. Tents lined the hillsides, and the soldiers were flocking to enjoy his lordship’s famous hot springs. Little wonder: winter chill still hung in the air.

“Prince Juilek, your son, is not feeling well.”

When Potentate Versidue-Shaie spoke, the Emperor jumped. How that Akavir could slither across the grass without making a sound was a mystery to him.

“Poisoned, I’d wager,” grumbled Reman. “See to it he gets a healer. I told him to hire a taster like I have, but the boy’s headstrong. There are spies all around us, I know it.”

“I believe you’re right, your imperial majesty,” said Versidue-Shaie. “These are treacherous times, and we must take precautions to see that Morrowind does not win this war, either on the field or by more insidious means. That is why I would suggest that you not lead the vanguard into battle. I know you would want to, as your illustrious ancestors Reman I, Brazollus Dor, and Reman II did, but I fear it would be foolhardy. I hope you do not mind me speaking frankly like this.”

“No,” nodded Reman. “I think you’re right. Who would lead the vanguard then?”

“I would say Prince Juilek, if he were feeling better,” replied the Akavir. “Failing that, Storig of Farrun, with Queen Naghea of Riverhold at left flank, and Warchief Ulaqth of Lilmoth at right flank.”

“A Khajiit at left flank and an Argonian at right,” frowned the Emperor. “I never do trust beastfolk.”

The Potentate took no offense. He knew that “beastfolk” referred to the natives of Tamriel, not to the Tsaesci of Akavir like himself. “I quite agree your imperial majesty, but you must agree that they hate the Dunmer. Ulaqth has a particular grudge after all the slave-raids on his hands by the Duke of Mournhold.”

The Emperor conceded it was so, and the Potentate retired. It was surprising, thought Reman, but for the first time, the Potentate seemed trustworthy. He was a good man to have on one’s side.

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

18 First Seed, 2920 Ald Erfoud, Morrowind

“How far is the Imperial Army?” asked Vivec.

“Two days’ march,” replied his lieutenant. “If we march all night tonight, we can get higher ground at the Pryai tomorrow morning. Our intelligence tells us the Emperor will be commanding the rear, Storig of Farrun has the vanguard, Naghea of Riverhold at left flank, and Ulaqth of Lilmoth at right flank.”

“Ulaqth,” whispered Vivec, an idea forming. “Is this intelligence reliable? Who brought it to us?”

“A Breton spy in the Imperial Army,” said the lieutenant and gestured towards a young, sandy-haired man who stepped forward and bowed to Vivec.

“What is your name and why is a Breton working for us against the Cyrodiils?” asked Vivec, smiling.

“My name is Cassyr Whitley of Dwynnen,” said the man. “And I am working for you because not everyone can say he spied for a god. And I understood it would be, well, profitable.”

Vivec laughed, “It will be, if your information is accurate.”

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

19 First Seed, 2920 Bodrums, Morrowind

The quiet hamlet of Bodrum looked down on the meandering river, the Pryai. It was an idyllic site, lightly wooded where the water took the bend around a steep bluff to the east with a gorgeous wildflower meadow to the west. The strange flora of Morrowind met the strange flora of Cyrodiil on the border and commingled gloriously.

“There will be time to sleep when you’ve finished!”

The soldiers had been hearing that all morning. It was not enough that they had been marching all night, now they were chopping down trees on the bluff and damming the river so its water spilled over. Most of them had reached the point where they were too tired to complain about being tired.

“Let me be certain I understand, my lord,” said Vivec’s lieutenant. “We take the bluff so we can fire arrows and spells down on them from above. That’s why we need all the trees cleared out. Damming the river floods the plain below so they’ll be trudging through mud, which should hamper their movement.”

“That’s exactly half of it,” said Vivec approvingly. He grabbed a nearby soldier who was hauling off the trees. “Wait, I need you to break off the straightest, strongest branches of the trees and whittle them into spears. If you recruit a hundred or so others, it won’t take you more than a few hours to make all we need.”

The soldier wearily did as he was bade. The men and women got to work, fashioning spears from the trees. 

“If you don’t mind me asking,” said the lieutenant. “The soldiers don’t need any more weapons. They’re too tired to hold the ones they’ve got.”

“These spears aren’t for holding,” said Vivec and whispered, “If we tired them out today, they’ll get a good night’s sleep tonight,” before he got to work supervising their work.

It was essential that they be sharp, of course, but equally important that they be well balanced and tapered proportionally. The perfect point for stability was a pyramid, not the conical point of some lances and spears. He had the men hurl the spears they had completed to test their strength, sharpness, and balance, forcing them to begin on a new one if they broke. Gradually, out of sheer exhaustion from doing it wrong, the men learned how to create the perfect wooden spears. Once they were through, he showed them how they were to be arranged and where.

That night, there was no drunken pre-battle carousing, and no nervous neophytes stayed up worrying about the battle to come. As soon as the sun sank beneath the wooded hills, the camp was at rest, but for the sentries.

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

20 First Seed, 2920 Bodrum, Morrowind

Miramor was exhausted. For last six days, he had gambled and whored all night and then marched all day. He was looking forward to the battle, but even more than that, he was looking forward to some rest afterwards. He was in the Emperor’s command at the rear flank, which was good because it seemed unlikely that he could be killed. On the other hand, it meant traveling over the mud and waste the army ahead left in their wake.

As they began the trek through the wildflower field, Miramor and all the soldiers around him sank ankle-deep in cold mud. It was an effort to even keep moving. Far, far up ahead, he could see the vanguard of the army led by Lord Storig emerging from the meadow at the base of a bluff.

That was when it all happened.

An army of Dunmer appeared above the bluff like rising Daedra, pouring fire and floods of arrows down on the vanguard. Simultaneously, a company of men bearing the flag of the Duke of Mournhold galloped around the shore, disappearing along the shallow river’s edge where it dipped to a timbered glen to the east. Warchief Ulaqth nearby on the right flank let out a bellow of revenge at the sight and gave chase. Queen Naghea sent her flank towards the embankment to the west to intercept the army on the bluff.

The Emperor could think of nothing to do. His troops were too bogged down to move forward quickly and join the battle. He ordered them to face east towards the timber, in case Mournhold’s company was trying to circle around through the woods. They never came out, but many men, facing west, missed the battle entirely. Miramor kept his eyes on the bluff.

A tall Dunmer he supposed must have been Vivec gave a signal, and the battlemages cast their spells at something to the west. From what transpired, Miramor deduced it was a dam. A great torrent of water spilled out, washing Naghea’s left flank into the remains of the vanguard and the two together down river to the east.

The Emperor paused, as if waiting for his vanquished army to return, and then called a retreat. Miramor hid in the rushes until they had passed by and then waded as quietly as he could to the bluff.

The Morrowind army was retiring as well back to their camp. He could hear them celebrating above him as he padded along the shore. To the east, he saw the Imperial Army. They had been washed into a net of spears strung across the river, Naghea’s left flank on Storig’s vanguard on Ulaqth’s right flank, bodies of hundreds of soldiers strung together like beads.

Miramor took whatever valuables he could carry from the corpses and then ran down the river. He had to go many miles before the water was clear again, unpolluted by blood.

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

29 First Seed, 2920 Hegathe, Hammerfell

“You have a letter from the Imperial City,” said the chief priestess, handing the parchment to Corda. All the young priestesses smiled and made faces of astonishment, but the truth was that Corda’s sister Rijja wrote very often, at least once a month.

Corda took the letter to the garden to read it, her favorite place, an oasis in the monochromatic sand-colored world of the conservatorium. The letter itself was nothing unusual: filled with court gossip, the latest fashions which were tending to winedark velvets, and reports of the Emperor’s ever-growing paranoia.

“You are so lucky to be away from all of this,” wrote Rijja. “The Emperor is convinced that his latest battlefield fiasco is all a result of spies in the palace. He has even taken to questioning me. Ruptga keep it so you never have a life as interesting as mine.”

Corda listened to the sounds of the desert and prayed to Ruptga the exact opposite wish.

The Year is Continued in Rain’s hand.

✲•······················▃🖋️······················•✲

[videogamefiles-blog]

First Seed Book Three of 2920, The Last Year of the First Era

By Carlovac Townway

15 First Seed, 2920 Caer Suvio, Cyrodiil

From their vantage point high in the hills, the Emperor Reman III could still see the spires of the Imperial City, but he knew he was far away from hearth and home. Lord Glavius had a luxurious villa, but it was not close to being large enough to house the entire army within its walls. Tents lined the hillsides, and the soldiers were flocking to enjoy his lordship's famous hot springs. Little wonder: winter chill still hung in the air.

"Prince Juilek, your son, is not feeling well."

When Potentate Versidue-Shaie spoke, the Emperor jumped. How that Akavir could slither across the grass without making a sound was a mystery to him.

"Poisoned, I'd wager," grumbled Reman. "See to it he gets a healer. I told him to hire a taster like I have, but the boy's headstrong. There are spies all around us, I know it."

"I believe you're right, your imperial majesty," said Versidue-Shaie. "These are treacherous times, and we must take precautions to see that Morrowind does not win this war, either on the field or by more insidious means. That is why I would suggest that you not lead the vanguard into battle. I know you would want to, as your illustrious ancestors Reman I, Brazollus Dor, and Reman II did, but I fear it would be foolhardy. I hope you do not mind me speaking frankly like this."

"No," nodded Reman. "I think you're right. Who would lead the vanguard then?"

"I would say Prince Juilek, if he were feeling better," replied the Akavir. "Failing that, Storig of Farrun, with Queen Naghea of Riverhold at left flank, and Warchief Ulaqth of Lilmoth at right flank."

"A Khajiit at left flank and an Argonian at right," frowned the Emperor. "I never do trust beastfolk."

The Potentate took no offense. He knew that "beastfolk" referred to the natives of Tamriel, not to the Tsaesci of Akavir like himself. "I quite agree your imperial majesty, but you must agree that they hate the Dunmer. Ulaqth has a particular grudge after all the slave-raids on his lands by the Duke of Mournhold."

The Emperor conceded it was so, and the Potentate retired. It was surprising, thought Reman, but for the first time, the Potentate seemed trustworthy. He was a good man to have on one's side.

18 First Seed, 2920 Ald Erfoud, Morrowind

"How far is the Imperial Army?" asked Vivec.

"Two days' march," replied his lieutenant. "If we march all night tonight, we can get higher ground at the Pryai tomorrow morning. Our intelligence tells us the Emperor will be commanding the rear, Storig of Farrun has the vanguard, Naghea of Riverhold at left flank, and Ulaqth of Lilmoth at right flank."

"Ulaqth," whispered Vivec, an idea forming. "Is this intelligence reliable? Who brought it to us?"

"A Breton spy in the Imperial Army," said the lieutenant and gestured towards a young, sandy-haired man who stepped forward and bowed to Vivec.

"What is your name and why is a Breton working for us against the Cyrodiils?" asked Vivec, smiling.

"My name is Cassyr Whitley of Dwynnen," said the man. "And I am working for you because not everyone can say he spied for a god. And I understood it would be, well, profitable."

Vivec laughed, "It will be, if your information is accurate."

19 First Seed, 2920 Bodrum, Morrowind

The quiet hamlet of Bodrum looked down on the meandering river, the Pryai. It was an idyllic site, lightly wooded where the water took the bend around a steep bluff to the east with a gorgeous wildflower meadow to the west. The strange flora of Morrowind met the strange flora of Cyrodiil on the border and commingled gloriously.

"There will be time to sleep when you've finished!"

The soldiers had been hearing that all morning. It was not enough that they had been marching all night, now they were chopping down trees on the bluff and damming the river so its waters spilled over. Most of them had reached the point where they were too tired to complain about being tired.

"Let me be certain I understand, my lord," said Vivec's lieutenant. "We take the bluff so we can fire arrows and spells down on them from above. That's why we need all the trees cleared out. Damming the river floods the plain below so they'll be trudging through mud, which should hamper their movement."

"That's exactly half of it," said Vivec approvingly. He grabbed a nearby soldier who was hauling off the trees. "Wait, I need you to break off the straightest, strongest branches of the trees and whittle them into spears. If you recruit a hundred or so others, it won't take you more than a few hours to make all we need."

The soldier wearily did as he was bade. The men and women got to work, fashioning spears from the trees.

"If you don't mind me asking," said the lieutenant. "The soldiers don't need any more weapons. They're too tired to hold the ones they've got."

"These spears aren't for holding," said Vivec and whispered, "If we tired them out today, they'll get a good night's sleep tonight" before he got to work supervising their work.

It was essential that they be sharp, of course, but equally important that they be well balanced and tapered proportionally. The perfect point for stability was a pyramid, not the conical point of some lances and spears. He had the men hurl the spears they had completed to test their strength, sharpness, and balance, forcing them to begin on a new one if they broke. Gradually, out of sheer exhaustion from doing it wrong, the men learned how to create the perfect wooden spears. Once they were through, he showed them how they were to be arranged and where.

That night, there was no drunken pre-battle carousing, and no nervous neophytes stayed up worrying about the battle to come. As soon as the sun sank beneath the wooded hills, the camp was at rest, but for the sentries.

20 First Seed, 2920 Bodrum, Morrowind

Miramor was exhausted. For last six days, he had gambled and whored all night and then marched all day. He was looking forward to the battle, but even more than that, he was looking forward to some rest afterwards. He was in the Emperor's command at the rear flank, which was good because it seemed unlikely that he would be killed. On the other hand, it meant traveling over the mud and waste the army ahead left in their wake.

As they began the trek through the wildflower field, Miramor and all the soldiers around him sank ankle-deep in cold mud. It was an effort to even keep moving. Far, far up ahead, he could see the vanguard of the army led by Lord Storig emerging from the meadow at the base of a bluff.

That was when it all happened.

An army of Dunmer appeared above the bluff like rising Daedra, pouring fire and floods of arrows down on the vanguard. Simultaneously, a company of men bearing the flag of the Duke of Mournhold galloped around the shore, disappearing along the shallow river's edge where it dipped to a timbered glen to the east. Warchief Ulaqth nearby on the right flank let out a bellow of revenge at the sight and gave chase. Queen Naghea sent her flank towards the embankment to the west to intercept the army on the bluff.

The Emperor could think of nothing to do. His troops were too bogged down to move forward quickly and join the battle. He ordered them to face east towards the timber, in case Mournhold's company was trying to circle around through the woods. They never came out, but many men, facing west, missed the battle entirely. Miramor kept his eyes on the bluff.

A tall Dunmer he supposed must have been Vivec gave a signal, and the battlemages cast their spells at something to the west. From what transpired, Miramor deduced it was a dam. A great torrent of water spilled out, washing Naghea's left flank into the remains of the vanguard and the two together down river to the east.

The Emperor paused, as if waiting for his vanquished army to return, and then called a retreat. Miramor hid in the rushes until they had passed by and then waded as quietly as he could to the bluff.

The Morrowind army was retiring as well back to their camp. He could hear them celebrating above him as he padded along the shore. To the east, he saw the Imperial Army. They had been washed into a net of spears strung across the river, Naghea's left flank on Storig's vanguard on Ulaqth's right flank, bodies of hundreds of soldiers strung together like beads.

Miramor took whatever valuables he could carry from the corpses and then ran down the river. He had to go many miles before the water was clear again, unpolluted by blood.

29 First Seed, 2920 Hegathe, Hammerfell

"You have a letter from the Imperial City," said the chief priestess, handing the parchment to Corda. All the young priestesses smiled and made faces of astonishment, but the truth was that Corda's sister Rijja wrote very often, at least once a month.

Corda took the letter to the garden to read it, her favorite place, an oasis in the monochromatic sand-colored world of the conservatorium. The letter itself was nothing unusual: filled with court gossip, the latest fashions which were tending to winedark velvets, and reports of the Emperor's ever-growing paranoia.

"You are so lucky to be away from all of this," wrote Rijja. "The Emperor is convinced that his latest battlefield fiasco is all a result of spies in the palace. He has even taken to questioning me. Ruptga keep it so you never have a life as interesting as mine."

Corda listened to the sounds of the desert and prayed to Ruptga the exact opposite wish.

The Year is Continued in Rain's Hand.

[twentyonepilotsficlibrary]

ADMIN FAVES

I figured now would be a good time to compile all of the admins faves (minus Ren’s) into one post, there may be repeasts but i didn’t want to take them out since it kinda defeats the purpose of it being our personal faves.

Madi - 

Wicked Games by  heyitsbabz & youngvolcahoes (19/19 | 145220 | Explicit)

Josh didn’t mean to be rude to Tyler. Sure Tyler abandoned him in high school when Josh told him one of his dirty little secrets, but Josh didn’t hold grudges. He didn’t.

OR, the one where Josh is an idiot, Tyler is a bigger idiot and they both end up fucking shit up.

In Clover by TheDyingSun (1/1 | 12242 | Mature)

Not everyone can afford to drop everything for a two-man band in it’s infancy. So for three weeks, across the belly of the country, Josh and Tyler are forced to tour alone. Just the two of them.

They do okay.

Tyler -

Bold & Fearless In The Risks We Take by marsakat (14/14 | 42176 | Mature)

The first time they met, Tyler made Josh bleed.  But as blood brothers, the friendship endures all life’s growing pains.

//underage drinking //underage sex //homophobia

Elle -

Ex Ovo Omnia by stalksoftly (5/5 | 19,352 | Mature)

Tyler Joseph is, by some definition, famous, but not in the way he’d like to be. Open up any medical journal on the subject of 5-alpha-reductase deficiency and you’ll find his picture, head shorn, limbs hanging awkwardly on the sides of his exposed body, a black bar hiding wide, tired eyes in a mock attempt of anonymity.

Can’t Spell Without A by edy  (1/1 | 17,532 | Mature)

By September’s end, they’re living together.

By January’s time, Tyler’s lips will turn blue.

Josh doesn’t know that yet.

Eaten by Birds by edy  (1/1 | 19,877 | Mature)

In which Josh loses his lower jaw and Tyler is the lucky paramedic who finds him.

Mack - 

Mustard by edy (1/1 | 14,827 | Explicit)

The one where Tyler sits on street corners and plays his ukulele for money and Josh hates his life.

Joy to the World by edy (12/12 | 95,906 | Explicit)

Summary

Fires will consume soon.

Leave while you can.

I heard Greenland is nice.

Everything will be okay.

This last message is sprawled across the front of the bakery, two suns for the dots of the i. Josh reads and believes the message

million dollar man. by fkeyouout (12/? | 28,087 | Mature)

josh just needs a good story to keep his less than thriving journalist job, and tyler probably has enough dirty laundry to break the news.

Another Western Vampire (Different Time, Same Place) by stalksoftly (11/11 | 37969 | Explicit)

Tyler Joseph is a mysterious cowboy. Cityslicker Josh Dun doesn’t know what he got himself into when he agreed to be his ranch hand for the summer.

Emma - 

Someone Else’s Dreams by SpookySad (31/? | 135699 | Mature)

Josh has a great life, but that doesn’t mean he’s happy. He’s spends all his time working at Guitar Center, being a loner at school, and pining for the unattainable Tyler Joseph who probably doesn’t even know Josh exists. Except that, unbeknownst to either of them, they’ve started sharing dreams.

Get the tissues. We’re going to face our issues.

//depression//self harm//suicide attempt//

In Clover by thedyingsun (1/1 | 12243 | Mature)

Not everyone can afford to drop everything for a two-man band in it’s infancy. So for three weeks, across the belly of the country, Josh and Tyler are forced to tour alone. Just the two of them.

They do okay.

Sweet Creature by olgushka (13/? | 49844 | General Audiences)

Apparently being a single parent and a drummer in one of the most popular bands in the world is not as easy as it seems.

What Are You Made Of? by PastelMess (1/1 | 2020 | General Audiences )

“What are you afraid of?”The two of them are pulled over somewhere in the Arizona desert, their backs against the windshield of the van.

Dreamers at Best by flightlessnerds (17/17 | 94946 | Mature)

Josh decided that he loved everything about this band. Well, no, that wasn’t quite true. He loved everything about it, except that he wasn’t part of it.

In which Josh goes to see twenty one pilots for the first time, and finds that he can’t seem to tear his eyes away from the lead singer.

Caitlyn - 

From the Dining Table by chevycoop17 (16/?| 36631 | Mature)

Tyler and Josh broke up two years ago. Josh has moved on, but Tyler hasn’t. Things happen and Josh sees Tyler walking down the street. Josh wants to be friends with Tyler again. Will Tyler let Josh worm his way back into his life or tell him to go away?

Based off of Harry Styles’ song From the Dining Table. It’s cute, go listen.

Fuck You, Joshua Dun. by LoudandDangerous (1/1| 2041| Mature)

“Joshua Dun, you little motherfucker.” Tyler glares to the trash man beside Josh. “And you…Have you ever wondered how antifreeze tastes?” He smirks, holding up the drained empty bottle of blue liquid.

Sweet Creature by olgushka (17/?|  65187| General Audiences)

Apparently being a single parent and a drummer in one of the most popular bands in the world is not as easy as it seems.

Be careful sweetheart, there are wolves like me who will eat sweet things like you alive. by BlueNightShade (14/14|  24711| Explicit)

Tyler Joseph is a 16 year old Sophomore in high school. He’s running away from his home in Ohio, planning on traveling from Columbus, to Oak Hill. He desperately needs a ride. What’s the worse that could happen while hitch-hiking? That’s when he meets Josh. A man who’s older than him, has a mesmerizing warm smile, and bright yellow hair.

“What’s the worst that can happen?” Tyler thought.

Glo -

Hole by Edy (1/1| 13,031 | Mature)

“I swear to fucking God, Tyler,” he yells at the top of his lungs, from his own apartment. His voice is loud and right above Tyler’s head. “If I have to smell this shit wafting through the air vents for one more day, I’m gonna fucking report you.”

Mustard by Edy (1/1| 14,827 | Mature)

The one where Tyler sits on street corners and plays his ukulele for money and Josh hates his life.

Christie -

Tell Me Now by edy (1/1 |11,929 | Explicit)

Tyler hasn’t left the house in almost ten years.

//self harm //anxiety //depression //suicidal thoughts

Wild Geese by flightlessnerds (1/1 | 20,598 | Mature)

“No offense,” Josh replied, unfolding his arms. “But the straightest thing about me is my middle finger.”

In which the summer before college becomes the summer of Tyler, and Josh learns how to care.

//implied/referenced self harm //homophobia

Webcam by Marasa (1/1 | 5,334 | Not Rated)

Tyler shouldn’t trust people he meets on the internet.

//major character death //suicide //violence

million dollar man. by fkeyouout (19/? | 52,648 | Explicit)

josh just needs a good story to keep his less than thriving journalist job, and tyler probably has enough dirty laundry to break the news.

It’s not weird by Dun_with_Life (6/6 | 9,082 | General)

I was watching Family Guy last night and this episode reminded me of Josh and Tyler.