#bro idk if this is angst or fluff or just waffle

[atlaswav]

DEVOUR ME ♢

INFO: 1741 words, itoshi rin x gn! reader SYNOPSIS: Rin had never known how to love, and what wouldn't serve him any purpose, he needed to devour - but how was he to devour a concept? Conversely, love may devour him. WARNINGS: uh kissing (LMAO), suggestion of alcohol consumption (reader literally holds a bottle of beer in her hand tf), gorey language and metaphors AUTHOR'S NOTE: uh yeah this is a product of 2(.5) insomniac nights and some delusions pls don't make fun of the emo monologue at the end I swear I tried. edit: rereading this I realised that the ending does not match the vibe of the start of the fic AT ALL but i'm too lazy to change it so good luck have fun be nice pls (likes and reblogs are so appreciated i will love u forever)

Love was a concept that eluded Rin’s realm of understanding. He never understood it, and likely never would. He’d seen it – the mimesis of it – all around him, but there was no telling the scorn that lay underneath each smile, each furtive glance, each word of affirmation that fluttered about aimlessly. 

Rin Itoshi is a cynic. He doesn’t believe, he never believes. He simply knows. He didn’t believe in love, not when it had betrayed him before, and he was a man that learned from his mistakes. He had no time to be wasted on salvaging the wreckage of his relationship with his brother, he knew that it was beyond his power. What had failed him, he would destroy – the world had no need for something as tepid and fallible as this – but how was he to destroy a concept? Intangible, yet looming and defiant, echoing throughout the world, entangling itself with rationality, parasitic in its own Sisyphean way.

Rin Itoshi wanted to devour love as he had the other obstacles obstructing his vengeful path. Yet unlike his conquests in vanquishing pests that shrouded his success, devouring love did not move him. It did not grant him the same satisfaction it did when he crushed his opponents and rivals, it would not crumble beneath him and succumb to his superiority. 

There was no way to best love, yet he found himself wanting to devour it more than he knew. The genius knew that it wasn’t within the realm of possibility, and yet he never thought that he’d wind up as the one love would feast upon. 

He would’ve never understood love if it weren’t for you. 

You, an impenetrable wall of reason and rationality to his egotistical mindset that simply wanted to take and take and take. He prided himself on his restraint and reason, yet when it came to you, he became a madman. 

Hence, you became his paradox. The being of all reason, yet the sole catalyst of his undoing. Your voice became the siren’s echo of his dreams, your whispering touch became the blessed curse that he wished upon himself. 

“Rin!” He barely had time to register your presence before you tackled him into a hug, smothering him in your arms. Your scent was hypnotic – clinging to your hair, your clothes – as he breathed you in, turning liquid in your hands. He shouldn’t be this malleable by anyone. This was his moment of weakness – you were his weakness, but he didn’t find himself objecting to this as he enveloped you with his arms in return. 

“I’m so proud of you.” And there it was, that swelling in his chest, that odd warmth flooding his senses. “You did so well.”

“I know that.” he deadpans. You should back off here, you should retreat, frown, ask him what’s wrong – but you don’t. This was his big game, after all, and if it wasn’t obvious enough, you’d follow him even over hot coals. 

You laugh, taking his face in your hands. “I love you, Rin.”

There it is. That word, love. The first time you used it – because it would’ve always been you to use it first, never him – he frowned. It was late December in Japan, his hometown, while you sat huddled beside him for warmth, the landscape of the sun setting over the sea golden as the paintings of rebirth. 

“Why?” 

“Why?” your turn to frown, as he met your eyes in question. “What do you mean?”

“Why use the word ‘love’?” It was already fatal that he allowed you to stay for this long, that he even kept you with him spoke volumes of his heart’s wishes. His icy facade seemed to falter at your hands, and you wanted to melt it away completely. A smile breaks across your face, and he finds himself wanting to drown in it forever. To drown in the depths of your mirth like a rich man and never face worries again. 

“Because I love you, stupid.”

“Huh.” but before he can question further, you press a kiss to his lips, and all his questions die on the tip of his tongue, his rationality surrendering to you. His undoing.

It took him even longer to understand love, even after you’d said it the first time on that cliffside, overlooking the vast, infinite ocean. The light had shone on the water like ambers – opalescent and gleaming – he felt as if he could pluck the light from the ocean and string it into a necklace for you, ordinarily divine. The second time you said it, it was “just because”. You lay against his chest, curled up on the couch. If you listened hard enough, you’d be able to hear his heart racing. 

“I love you.”

Instead of inquiring, this time, he simply planted a kiss to the crown of your head, watching the woman on the TV sob, dark tears streaming down her face like ink. Onyx. Rivulets of Onyx. He thought you’d look far better with your mascara running down your cheeks than this second rate, lukewarm actor. 

The third time, it was new year’s eve. The snow fell in a light sheen across the balcony of the apartment – one of his team mates was hosting a party. He wouldn't have gone if it weren't for your insistence, and so he stood with you, leaning on the railing in favour of the pandemonium behind. The view was a quiet, dark sort of beautiful. Not the majesty of a sunrise or the tragic beauty of rain, rather quiet, sequestered. The park below was still, yet the escapism from the sounds of the party made the air all the more intimate. 

“Any new year’s resolutions?” you’d asked, a half finished bottle of beer hanging loosely from your grip. 

“Become the best in the world.”

You smiled. “Never change.”

“What about you?”

You shrugged, gaze distant. If he looked closely, he could see the dim moonlight reflected in your eyes. He inched closer. 

“I don’t know.”

He scoffed at your answer. So indefinitive, so irrational. The moonlight reflected in your eyes like tiny stars. If he dared, he would claim them for his own. But you claimed his before he could even try. 

Your gaze was heavy. A blanket of heat to combat the penetrating cold, the film of snow that dusted your hair, catching in your lashes. 

“You have snow on your eyelashes.” You reach out, brushing your cold fingers gently across his eyes. Almost absentmindedly, you mutter “I hate that about you.”

“What?” The word comes as a thin breath, and he hardly registers anything but your touch, your gaze, your breath warming his skin. 

“You're absurdly pretty.” you murmur, almost to yourself. Shaking your head in disbelief, a clamour rises from indoors, where the cacophony of the new years celebration presses on, into the intimate night. 

“Shut up.” and he brings his lips to yours, closing the centimetres of space left between you. You let his arms wrap around your waist, reaching up to place your hands on his face, entangling your fingers into his hair, lightly tugging at it as you pull away. 

“Happy new year, Rin.”

“Fucking shut up and kiss me.” he moves to press his lips to yours, but you evade his movement by a hair’s breadth. 

“I love you.” you whisper against his mouth. The words are swallowed in the kiss, and he doesn’t question your love, anymore. Because if anyone would love him against all odds, it would be you, wouldn’t it? Because of course, you knew what love was, and you would teach him. You wanted to teach him the meaning of love, show him its meaning through precarious action, allow love to finally become a constant in the churning sea of his person. 

Yet you knew that for Rin Itoshi, love was another paradox. 

To love was to be devoured. 

To be consumed from the inside out, to desperately hold in the guts that threatened to spill out, to drown in the metallic sweetness of your own blood, to hear the sickly beating of your heart as a siren through your mind, and to allow – enable – this grotesque discordance to rip at your disposition. It’s ruthless in its ruination, it tears out flesh and admires the way the blood gleams like rubies on its severed, screaming surface. Like fruits of its own endeavour, the masochistic, self wrought destruction of sense admires lovers such as him. It admires the victims to its siren wails, the eradicating, breathless declarations of devotion that pale in the grand scheme of love’s insatiable appetite. 

To love was to be devoured. Love was the devourer, and lovers their prey. Love was rich in tragedy, all consuming and death defiant. Love was deceptively gentle, practising the art of elusion with a lover’s seduction, the maestro of sadism. 

To love was to be devoured wholly – from the thick rivulets of blood dripping down the maw of the beast, the drying, flaking stains of it crusting the mouth and the torn flesh lodged in the beast’s throat. 

If to love was to be devoured, you would be next. Foolishly naive, eyes on the stars instead of which beasts lay behind. 

If to love was to be devoured, you gladly asked it to devour you. You surrendered yourself to the beast, allowing your heart – still beating – to be ripped out of your chest and be feast upon. You let love take your lips in a siren’s kiss and drain your body dry of supplement, leaving a husk of what remained, and yet you still have more to give. You’d let love reduce you to nothing – impoverished, emaciated and forlorn – for a glimpse of the glories that were of legend. To follow him to the true end, the one promised by fabled lips.

If love was to be devoured, Rin decided that he would let it take, because what was love, if not devotion? Love was devotion, and you were devout. Pious, devout and reverent in the pursuit of sating it's abysmal appetite. 

You devoted yourself to love – loving him. You let yourself be devoured, let yourself be reduced to ashes in the blaze of love’s fury, just to experience the sweet nothing of its aftermath. Hollow, void, fruitless. 

So Rin takes the dagger, and points it to his own heart. The fruit of love is still ripe within him, and the beast means to be fed. 

written by @atlaswav , published 25th of December 2023

[misterier]

Hello!! I adore your writing and I was wondering if you could do platonic yellow guy and reader headcanons?

For example yellow finds reader as their second parent and finds comfort in their company, is that ok for you?

| yeah fs!! this is adorable bro☹️ I sprinkled some angst abt you but it's for the sake of fluff ig, maybe short(?) Idk. I hope you like it tho <3 sorry if it got off topic💀

—

- yellow absolutely adores you and his attachment is almost immediate as your one of the only people to treat him even slightly respectfully

- once he begins viewing you as a parental figure he begins to doodle you constantly in his family portraits, or he just draws things you've done together like bake cookies

- you quickly take to the roll as yellows second parent, tucking him in at night (if he asks), reassuring him that nightmares are just bad dreams and everything will be back to normal in the morning, hanging up his drawings, having cute pictures of you guys doing things in the family wallet,

- you try to be the parent you never had and yellow guy loves you for it, he just latches onto you no matter what and looks up to you

- he often depicts you as a superhero

- sometimes he doesn't even realize he's having panic attacks, they just happen and the house (+ roy) brush over it

- you obviously do your best to help him

- poor boy is traumatized

- he needs someone to love him

- you do <3 /p

- because he's still young he tends to just run up to you, look up, and ask you the most confusing questions that he just expects you to know the answer to

- "why are waffles some times square, and sometimes round" "why did dad eat that weird family" "why is green not uh a creative color" "why do they make blue straws and green straws in one box"

- hell if you know 💀

- you do your best to give him half answers you hope will satisfy him

- also asks you huge math questions and gets confused when you don't know it off the top of your head

- loves when you read to him and constantly begs you to read him to bed just like on the tv

- if you do he gets super giddy and makes you read about four books before he finally passes out

- just likes hanging around you because he wants to savor every moment in case you get hurt or go away

- you try to reassure him you won't go away, he nods but never fully believes you

- just likes when your around honestly

- slipped up and called you "mom/pa/ (is there a gn version for parent? dose giddy count? Idk)" and never spoke of it again

- you get ecstatic but choose to pretend it never happened in front of him

- if someone asks if he's your child you either nod or pretend you have no idea who he is

- it depends on whether or not he likey committed some sort of crime

- he probably did

- if you parent him you probably get sucked into parenting his friends aswell but that's just who you are and he and his friends need someone's who's at least slightly more stable than them

- probably asks you to watch movies with him for hours

- loves when you draw/color with him

- he banned markers though, because he doesn't like the way they bleed through his paper

—

[babylon-cal]

Don’t Like Me? - Calum

Pairing : Calum x Reader

Genre : Angst & Fluff

Requested : by anon : Can I request something? I want a fic where the reader is dating Calum & the rest of the boys don't like them because they don't like the LA party lifestyle. Angst with fluff in the end (Calum reassuring the reader that it's ok to not like the LA party lifestyle because he doesn't like it either)? Make sure you write it with gender neutral reader in mind

Word Count : 1.7k

I haven’t written for the 5sos boys since 2018, so i hope this is better than what I used to write, idk honestly gjdshk i hope you enjoy it!! Tried not to make it too unrealistically dramatic because I know that in all facts, the boys would not straight up not like someone for not partying so I had to make the reasoning about more thought out. 

Unrelated, but I have some 2012 wattpad fic type requests in my inbox that are just giving me flashbacks that I’m not entirely looking forward to write but you know what we gotta pull through fam so

The air was cool outside the club and the cars that drove past would occasionally cause a stronger gust to blow against (y/n)’s hair, pushing it away from their face. The music from inside of the club sounded muffled from where they stood on the sidewalk that was cast with a soft orange hue from the streetlights, a half smoked cigarette nestled between their fingers. They took a drag from it, tasting the nicotine. They never particularly enjoyed the taste but it made them feel a little bit at ease, especially during the exuberant atmospheres of parties.

It was baffling as to why their boyfriend, Calum and his bandmates insisted on renting out clubs every other two weeks and indulging in exorbitant amounts of alcohol and dancing to deafening electronic pop until they were stumbling out of the doors in the wee hours of the morning. Calum had never made it too difficult on (y/n), trying not to get drunk too often. In all honesty he would rather stay at home with this partner rather than leave them while he was out, or even bring them along like they did tonight. (y/n) heard the music as it was unobstructed for a few seconds - assuming it was someone exiting the club, before the doors closed again.

“Mind a puff?” a voice said beside them and they turned to see Calum there, sporting his The Sensation t-shirt and a pair of black slacks. They handed him the cigarette and he placed it between his lips. (y/n) watched as the orange ring glowed and ate up the white casing slowly as he took a drag and how he blew the smoke up in a small cloud. “You alright?” Calum asked, as he handed the tab back to them, placing an arm around their waist and pulling them closer to his side.

“Yes, I just wanted some air, you know how all of this isn’t really my thing,” They dropped their cigarette, stubbing it out with their foot.

“Of course I do. Do you want to go home?” he asked, staring down at them as they continued looking out into the distance and at the bright neon from the 7-11 sign down the road.

“Actually, yeah,” they responded, looking at him once more, flashing him a small smile, which he returned before pressing a kiss to their forehead, mumbling an “okay”.

“We should say goodbye to the boys first, don’t you think?” Calum suggested and (y/n) felt their heart sink. They could never fathom why the other boys behaved somewhat hostile and cold towards them, whenever they met at parties most of the time. In the rare occasion they did meet at other smaller gatherings, the boys would only exchange a few words with them - only deciding to speak to them when Calum included them in a conversation. (y/n) would more often than not, stay silent by Cal’s side, disengaging from any conversation on the fear that they would dislike them more, in case their suspicions of their feelings were any way true.

Calum and (y/n) stepped into the club, immediately greeted by the strong smell of tequila and sweat, the cold air conditioning not really helping. Their fingers interlaced as they made their way through the stragglers, (y/n) feeling an awful discomfort at the unknown skin-on-skin contact with the strangers on top of the blaring of Physical by Dua Lipa through every corner of the room, the bass boosts giving them unsettling vibrations at the base of their throat. The couple approached a small booth where the other three youngsters sat with their girlfriends, sharing some drinks and laughing over the music. They set their eyes on (y/n) who was a few metres away with Calum, the girls giving them friendly waves which they returned with a grin which faltered quickly upon noticing the blank expressions on the boys’ face, especially Ashton.

He made eye contact with them for a second before quickly blinking away, the eye roll not going unnoticed by (y/n) which took them back slightly, feeling a small lump form in their throat upon discovering that their suspicions may be true. Maybe I’m overthinking, they thought but the not-so-inconspicuous eye roll from Michael who saw the couple reaching the table, made the whole idea seem anything but farfetched. (y/n) stood at the edge of the table, while Calum leaned over to whisper something in Luke’s ear who nodded, giving him a thumbs up and fist bump. He did the same to the other two, before returning to (y/n)’s side and giving one last wave to the table, which they did, out of courtesy as well. Only Luke paid attention, even flashing a small smile.

The car ride was awfully quiet, not much being spoken between the two except in the beginning of their journey where Calum told (y/n) that they could choose the songs to play. They stared out the window at the settled down, LA city at 1 a.m. with some shops still having their display lights on, while some had them off. They liked the city streets at this time in comparison to the multiple traffic jams and hustle throughout the day and early nights. Most of the town were indoors or at the club, leaving the roads almost empty and calm. Wait For Me by KIngs of Leon played softly in the background, as Calum turned at the traffic lights right before turning to spare his partner a glance, worried at their lack of chatter.

“Are you alright, (y/n), you haven’t been talking much tonight,” he said, resuming his attention to the road, letting his hand fall softly on their thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. (y/n) blinked out of their daze at his contact, slowly turning to look at him while placing their hand on his wrist.

“Yeah, I’m fine Cal. Just a bit tired, that’s all,” He didn’t push it further, even though he knew that they weren’t being entirely truthful. He could read them like a book and he knew that (y/n) was only this quiet when they were upset because even when they were tired, they’d go off into pointless waffle that didn’t really make sense as much as it did in their head, which made Calum so curious to how their brain was wired in addition to finding it absolutely adorable.

(y/n) was quick to get into bed, having changed into one of Calum’s shirts that they always slept in and joggers. While he was in the bathroom, his phone pinged with a text and his phone lit up as (y/n) was scrolling through their own. They didn’t mean to but their eyes subconsciously glanced over to the strip of message that flashed on his lockscreen, covering the part of his background which was a photo - taken on their holiday to Venice - of them kissing on the Gondola as it floated under a bridge.

Mate, i hope this isnt rude

The first message read and it was from Ashton. Not long after, another message strip appeared under the other.

We think (y/n) is trying to control you bro

This hurt to read. At this point, every suspicion they had of not being liked by the rest of the band confirmed itself which broke their heart. These were his brothers. His soulmates. They were his forever before themself. What would he think of them, when his own brothers didn’t like them? Would he change his mind on how he felt about them? A tear slipped down their cheek but they quickly wiped it away, their throat tight from the lump that had formed in it. Their stomach churned and their skin burned as the phone slowly went black again. (y/n) didn’t say a word and continued scrolling through their instagram when Calum returned from the bathroom, a pair of grey joggers hanging low on his hips. He climbed into bed next to them, grabbing his own phone. They looked at him from the corner of his eyes, and saw him typing a reply to the text from Ashton, they looked away, trying to ignore it. It was difficult when his arm wrapped around their frame and he leaned down to their cheek pressing a kiss to it.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong and why you look like you’re going to cry?” his voice was deep but soft. It was their safety blanket. Hearing him was more than a reassurance that he was going to be there and be honest through all of their doubts. (y/n) sighed, locking their phone and placing it in their lap, leaning into Calum’s arm more causing him to nestle his chin in the crook of their neck and shoulder, his other hand rubbing down their arm comfortingly.

“Why don’t the other boys like me?” Calum’s heart sank at the intense amount of pain that they showed. “I want them to....they’re practically your family,” they added softly, their voice shaking, the tears forming again. Calum didn’t say anything at first, instead pulling them onto his lap, wrapping both his arms around their middle and pressing light kisses to the exposed skin at the top of their shoulder.

“They don’t dislike you, (y/n). They’re just a bit bothered by the fact that we always leave early whenever you come out to parties with us,” he spoke again almost immediately. “There’s nothing wrong with not liking clubs or any of that shit ok? I’m not one of those crazy party people either to be fair, and you have nothing to worry about anymore. I explained everything to them,” (y/n) looked at Calum as he finished his sentence, looking him smile back down at them. “If you like, we could invite them to lunch maybe? Somewhere that can help them have a proper conversation with you instead of just at the club all the time?” he offered and (y/n) smiled a little bit, trusting Calum.

“That sounds lovely, thank you Cal,” they shared a kiss before he hugged them tightly again, swaying them to the side slightly, making their mind feel at ease which (y/n) could not be more grateful for. 

END

[okay-sammy]

Hi, I was tagged by @samgirl2552

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. 1. Coke or Pepsi: coke

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Disney

3. Coffee or Tea: Tea is my addiction, but I’ll drink coffee too

4. Books or Movies: BOTH

5. Windows or Mac: I have windows but I want a mac lol

6. DC or Marvel: marvel

7. Xbox or Playstation: I don’t have either but I’ve wanted an Xbox for years

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: dragon age

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: Night Owl

10. Cards or Chess: cards

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

12. Vans or Converse: vans

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: I don’t know what this is lol

14. Fluff or Angst: angst

15. Beach or Forest: beach

16. Dogs or Cats: dogs (although I have both)

17. Clear Skies or Rain: either one is fine, I’ll still be outside probably

18. Cooking or Eating Out: I really only get to eat out on special occasions so I prefer to, but cooking can be fun too, especially when you’re cooking with someone

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: Mild food… I’m pretty wimpy when it comes to spicy foods

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: Christmas

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot : A little too hot cause where I live, winters are very mild and summers are hot so I just prefer warmer weather

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? I would love to be a shapeshifter thing that can turn into any animal so I can swim in the deepest oceans and also fly

23. Animation or Live Action: Live action

24. Paragon or Renegade: no idea what this means but renegade I guess??

25. Baths or Showers: showers

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: TEAM CAP

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Sci-Fi, but I love fantasy too

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they: I love “I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are much more fun” from Billy Joel’s Only The Good Die Young. Also “never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game” -Babe Ruth (I actually know that quote from watching A Cinderella Story which is the best movie ever ahaha)

29. YouTube or Netflix: Netflix

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Harry Potter, although I looove Percy Jackson too

31. When You Feel Accomplished: When I conquer an everyday fear

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: Star Wars all the way

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: paperback is so much easier to hold when reading and they give off that new book smells so much better

34. Handwriting or Typing: typing is more fun

35. Velvet or Satin: satin

36. Video Games or Movies: this is hard. How dare you.

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? BE THE DRAGON

38. Sunrise or sunset: sunset

39. What’s your favourite song? What the heck there are so many amazing songs out there… these are my favorite right now though: Walk Away by LANY Feelin’ Satisfied by Boston Death and All His Friends by Coldplay Jukebox Hero by Foreigner

40. Horror Movies yes or no: Hell yes

41. Long hair or short hair: long hair

42. Opera or Theatre: Theatre

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? Supernatural

44. If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? Idk I love food so much… I’m thinking waffles but it would have to be loaded with fruit and whipped cream and doused in syrup

44. Are you scared of thunderstorms? Why? Not at all… I love storms

45. What instrument would you like to learn? Drums (I already play piano and guitar a bit)

46. If you had to be an animal for the rest of your life, what would you be? It’d be pretty sick to be a hawk cause they look so cool and you can fly all the time

47. What toppings do you put on pancakes? I’m more of a waffle person tbh

48. How do you take your coffee? Milk and sugar (I wish I was badass enough to take it black but I’m just not)

49. What is your dream job? I think it would be so cool to train dolphins or to be a photographer for National Geographic because you can take pictures in there coolest places and then get paid to do that. Bro.

NEW QUESTION: 50. If you could go back in time, what era would you live in and why?

I’m not gonna be able to tag 49 people lol but I’ll tag @willingwinchester @paosam @lizblogging @wellcometothedarkside @anotherwinchesterfangirl @seeyouinfiveyearsdean @randomfulness