#broken hearts and broken dreams

[watercolor-hearts]

For the prompt: Charles winning his first championship after the last race and Max being with him on the podium

This prompt fits really well to Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams in my charles wdc au tag so I kinda wrote it in a way it can be a third chapter to it but it can also be a single-chapter story. I hope you'll like it! 😊 (Also, please forgive me my one sentence of Google Translate Italian...)

You can read the previous two chapters here, if you're interested: First chapter, Second chapter.

Max/Charles • 1203 words • World Champion Charles • happiness • hugs • champagne shower • shoey • implied smut(?) • implied mpreg (at the end) • Ao3 link

-

Violins playin' and the angels cryin'

When the stars align, then I'll be there

“Il Predestinato, sei il campione del mondo!” Xavi screamed on the radio after Charles crossed the line on the last race of the season, “Charles Leclerc, you're the world champion! What a race, what a season, what a driver!”

“Oh my Goooood!” Charles screamed, tears filling his eyes, not waiting long until running down his cheeks. “We're back on the top, guys, we're back! Oh my God! I can't believe it! Thank you so much to everyone on the team, I couldn't have done this without you, guys. This is for everyone, team! I'm proud of you all. Thank you so much!” Charles said, his heart filled with emotions, struggling to put his thoughts together as he drove the car back to the pits after the cool-down lap. He couldn't believe he's finally reached his goal, his dream. World Champion with Ferrari. The Predestined put it all together and brought Ferrari back where they belong. The stars aligned and he was there.

“Did you see the fireworks?” Xavi asked before Charles got out of the car. “They're for you, Charles. Enjoy!”

“Unbelievable,” Charles said, smiling under the helmet as he prepared to get out, “Thank you so much!

As he got out of the car and stood on it to celebrate, pointing to the Ferrari logo on his suit over his heart, the cheer of the fans and the team became even louder than it was on the cool-down lap. They filled his heart with pride.

“Il Predestinato!” Daniel exclaimed when he went to Charles after getting out of his Red Bull at the third place spot, “Congratulations, mate!”, he said, pulling Charles into a bone-crushing hug, “Incredible season, incredible driver. Well deserved, Charles. Be proud of yourself, this one's for you.”

“Thank you, mate,” Charles smiled as he hugged back, “Oh my God, this is incredible, I can't believe it.”

When they let go of the hug, Max congratulated him too, first without words, only with a hug because he wasn't sure what to say. It hurt that he couldn't win but he was also incredibly proud of Charles because he raced clean, with almost zero mistakes all season and their battles were really enjoyable, they made Max fall in love with this sport again. It's not the same without having strong competitors to race with. And now he had one, again, after years of domination. It hurt him to lose but things change, the focus changes, and the better one wins. And this time it was Charles.

“Are you okay?” Charles asked when Max still hadn't said anything but kept hugging him.

“Yeah, sorry,” Max said almost too quietly for Charles to hear, “Congratulations, Charles. I always knew you would of course be a world champion one day. This is the day. You were amazing, it was very lovely to race with you,” Max said, squeezing Charles' shoulder, “I can't wait for you to step on the top of the podium and shine, I promise it will be an amazing feeling.”

Charles smiled and when Max let him go, he ran to the team to celebrate with them before heading to the interviewer to do the post-race interview and then to the cool-down room to wait there until they could go to the podium.

All the hugs, shoulder pats, touch, congratulations, and everything made him feel so loved and appreciated he couldn't even believe it. It was almost like he was waiting to wake up from this dream, but it wasn't a dream, it was the long awaited reality, the result of all the hard work, blood, sweat, and tears. He put everything in this season. Everything. And it was worth it.

A few minutes later they were standing on the podium, the Monegasque anthem just started and that was when Charles couldn't hold the tears back anymore. With his hand over his heart, he looked up to the sky, thinking about his father and Jules. He did this for them, too, because without them he couldn't be there today. He didn't care about the tears anymore, he didn't wipe them off. This moment was for the emotions.

After they've got the trophies, Max and Daniel gave an incredible champagne shower to Charles, it looked like he was bathing in holy water. When Max and Daniel stopped for a moment to drink, it was Charles' time to get revenge on them. First on Daniel because he was closer, and then he moved on to his boyfriend.

“I heard you like the champagne shower, Max!” Charles laughed when Max turned his back to him, not wanting the shower in his face.

“He likes it,” Daniel agreed, joining Charles, “But you know what he likes more? This,” Daniel said while getting his shoes off, to fill it with the rest of his champagne.

“Charles needs to drink the first one,” Max stated, looking at Charles as he sprayed the fans and the team under the podium.

Max didn't care about his second place anymore. Seeing Charles this happy meant everything to him.

“The shoey is here for the world champion,” Daniel said, showing it to Charles.

“Oh my God,” Charles exclaimed, laughing, “I can't escape it anymore.”

“Yeah,” Daniel nodded, “It's time to try it. Max has the other one,” Daniel gave his other shoe to Max, “Make this one an epic moment.”

Daniel didn't need to say more, Charles looked at Max, Max nodded, and then both of them drank the champagne from Daniel's shoes while Daniel stood behind them like a wedding officiant. The champagne tasted awful but it still was a big thing for them.

“Now you have to drink one, too,” Charles told Daniel when he gave back the shoe. “You need to suffer with us.”

“It's not even that bad,” Daniel laughed before drinking out the last few drops of champagne from his shoe. At that moment he knew Charles was right, because yes, it indeed was suffering. Stinky and sweaty champagne. Delicious. But they all laughed and that was the point of it. Enjoying the moment.

And Charles enjoyed the whole night that day, celebrating with the team, partying, and then going home to his family with Max for a few calmer days. He needed it after all the celebrations.

One night, at Charles' apartment, Charles and Max celebrated together, in the most beautiful way possible, by making love. It wasn't fucking like what they usually do. No, it was making love. There's a difference and Max wanted to show this to Charles because special occasions require special treatment.

And even though they didn't know back then, they put the cherry on the top of their journey, because a few weeks later Charles started experiencing symptoms he has already experienced once back in the season. But this time it was happy news for them.

Before the winter testing, both Charles and Max shocked the world by announcing their retirement, revealing their relationship and, at the same time, also announcing that they're going to have a baby.

They both achieved what they wanted in this sport, it was now time to start a family.

[introspectivememories]

god i know i said i was tired of making eveerything sad but just imagine timber those first few months of reconnecting and they're both drunk on tim's boat, laying on the deck staring up at the stars and bear turns over to look at tim, his eyes are sad and wet, and he reaches out to touch tim's face as if to make sure tim is really there and not an illusion and tim whispers, "bear?" and bernard smiles a little brokenly and goes, "so how long do i have you for this time?"

[kuro-ousama]

Kinda funny how the fact that I don't have a lot of favorites boiled down to the fact that I was crushed by Atem's story and vowed to not get attached to other characters.

In other words, this little fictional character broke my heart so hard that I can't move on. That's how much he made an impact to my fandom life even 2 decades later.

[bleue-flora]

I’m losing my mind… sooo a little bit ago I was combing through the Revival Book video for my fic and I noticed something interesting — The map

What about the map? Look closely…

You’ll notice that marked by turquoise is none on than the - vine covered Doomsday’s grid over the water filled L’manhole! Confirming that this conversation and therefore the experiments on Vik and Lazar took place after prison.

Which means quite a few earth shattering things. Firstly, the revival book likely was not the main factor that drove him mad to the point of putting himself in the prison like we might have suspected. This also means that just in general, Dream is not as prepared, planned, well thought out and as mastermind as we thought, and a lot of things were actually more genuine after all.

Because if he didn’t know that the revival book worked (which is implied by the dialogue in this video over the map) then he really must have trusted the server and Tommy to not kill him permanently and the revival book mention was more likely a really desperate afterthought last card that he hadn’t even used yet (honestly he hardly had the time to be fair - but thankfully he memorized it I guess), which oh just really makes the server almost letting him die permanently sting so much more. Plus, this also suggests that maybe Punz did not have the revive book before prison (the dialogue in this scene certainly suggests as much), and it means Dream really was adamantly afraid of dying in prison, making his stubbornness to not give up the book and endure the torture make a lot more sense. Further highlighting that he also was likely not as prepared or thick skinned going into the prison as we might have thought. It also implies that he is likely being truthful about Tommy being his first revival. Oh and there’s also the fact that in this conversation he suggests killing Philza after Philza helped rescue him, which just… rude (but that doesn’t really makes sense anyways since I doubt he would want to piss off Techno but still)… and since we now know the experiments with Vik and Lazar happened after prison I’d say that if staged duo did experiments on eachother it’d would also be after prison because why would you test on yourself before knowing that it can bring you back from any death, that’s pretty risky, (which also aligns with Dream having his original 3 lives in the staged finale).

Oh and if that wasn’t crazy enough, I also noticed there are end rods in the laboratory!

Heeeeehhhhh?!!!….. Which means they went to The End (and I already kinda suspected that since they talked about it in the finale, but I certainly didn’t think they went before/(during?) the basic experiments on Vikk and Lazar.) And not only did they go to the End they went to an End City, which does that mean they have like elytras?…

Have I blow your mind yet? Because I’m losing my shit…

{This is all of course unless we are to take these as accidental inconsistencies and flaws in the video from a lack of due diligence (since I’m pretty sure the ccs hired someone to make it) and ignore it or retcon it, (which wouldn’t be the most unreasonable thing since the dialogue in that scene suggests that they don’t know it works at all - “but what if it does work?” which doesn’t make sense for them to say after he already brought back Wilbur and Tommy). Or alternatively, we could also go the route of disregarding things due to my other theory about the video [post] and say that since it’s from DreamXD’s pov it’s messed up because he misremembered the lore as he’s a god and wasn’t paying that much attention to detail…

[hollywood-sadcore]

I want you, so what if I’m dreaming.

[onebizarrekai]

the other day I remembered the first drawing in this comically edgy post from yonder 2017 existed and I had an urge. a long time ago, miles nightmare newton was the edgiest man alive, but we know better now

[feathered-serpents]

I think my favorite response to the "Crowley sleeps for months after the breakup" idea is "Crowley TRIES to sleep for months after the breakup, but he dreams about Aziraphale, and so after that he never sleeps at all"

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

I saw you in my dreams again today and I didn’t want to wake up. Now I’m awake and I’m crying..

[watercolor-hearts]

I'm not the anon who asked you to write it and stumbled across your work because I was checking lestappen tag. NVM. I JUST NEED A HAPPY SECOND CHAPTER. I just can't tolerate thinking about Charles losing and Max heartbreaking 😭

TIA ❤️

Hi, thank you for sending this ask, I wrote 2.1K words for you and for those who wanted a second chapter to it. 😊❤ It's important to mention that this chapter contains converstations about abortion and while there's no discription of the abortion procedure itself, it happens, so please only read this if it's not triggering for you. It's Charles' decision and he has all the support.

Please read the first chapter before reading this to understand this story better! | Third chapter.

Max/Charles • 2112 words • mpreg • hospital • examination • (discussions of) abortion • supportive boyfriend Max • supportive friend Andrea • comfort • cuddling • happy end • Ao3 link

-

The examining room felt cold as Charles lay down on the examining bed, waiting for the sonographer to start. He hated being there, thinking about why he was there. He just wanted to finish this as soon as possible and continue his life like this accident has never happened.

“All right,” the sonographer said, smiling as she lifted up the gel from the machine, “Are you ready?” she asked. Charles gulped.

“Yes,” he nodded, closing his eyes.

“You can watch,” the woman said with a kindness in his voice that made Charles feel a bit better and worse at the same time because he'd love to watch if it was the right time. But not now.

“I don't want it.”

“To watch?”

“The baby,” he said, heart racing a million miles, “I don't want it.”

“Oh...”

“Just do it, please,” Charles said, taking a deep breath to calm his body down.

“All right. It'll be a bit cold at the beginning when I put the gel on, and then you'll feel pressure but it shouldn't hurt.”

Charles nodded, and then the sonographer started the examination.

“Let's see...” she said as the picture appeared on the monitor, “It looks like we have a heal—”

“Please don't say anything about... About it,” Charles said, not letting her finish the sentence. Healthy fetus. Healthy baby. Healthy... something.

“Would you like to hear the heartb—”

“No!” Charles exclaimed, “Sorry, sorry,” he apologized right after because he didn't want to be that loud.

“It's okay, sir. I understand it and I'm sorry. I'll finish the examination and then you can discuss the next step with the doctor,” she explained, so Charles could know what happens next.

“Thank you” Charles whispered, letting the sonographer do her job in peace.

***

It was late evening when Charles and Max met again after Charles sent Max away from the medical center a few days ago. It was time to talk.

“Hi,” Charles greeted Max after opening the door and letting him in.

“Hi.”

“I—Would you like a coffee or—”

“A Red Bull?” Max asked with half a smile on his face. Charles smiled. He knew Max, he knew he was going to ask for a Red Bull like he always does. He's a simple guy.

“Okay,” Charles nodded, heading to the kitchen to get Max a Red Bull, “Take a seat somewhere.”

“Have you—How are you?” Max corrected himself, not wanting to jump on the sensitive topic just yet.

“Good. I'm good,” Charles said, handing Max his drink and then sitting on the other end of the couch. “I went to the hospital today. For... For an...”

“Abortion appointment,” Max finished the sentence for him. His voice was emotionless, almost like he accepted what was going to happen.

“Yeah.”

“Did you—Did you see the baby? Or heard the heartbeat?” Max asked, not daring to look at Charles, instead, he stared at the energy drink in his hand.

“No.” The answer was short and cold.

“Okay.”

“I didn't want to develop feelings,” Charles started, “so I chose not to watch or listen. I only wanted the appointment but they needed to do an examination to make sure there's... something... a fetus... in me.”

“Okay,” Max nodded, taking a sip from his drink, “When is the appointment?”

“Tomorrow morning.”

“I can of course make myself free to be with you there.”

“No need to,” Charles smiled weakly, “Andrea will be there with me. Only a few hours stay after the procedure and then I can come home. A few days of rest, and then if everything's alright at the check-up, I can slowly start training again. If everything goes well, I don't have to miss a race.”

“Will you—Will you be okay without me?” Max asked, wanting to hug Charles but also wanting to give him the space he needed.

“Don't worry,” Charles moved a bit closer to him, “everything's gonna be alright. I'll call you after.”

“Thank you,” Max murmured, reaching out to hold Charles' hand. “I would like to apologize for everything I said in the medical center. I did not think, all that was in my mind was a picture of us having a kid, being parents. I did not think about racing, the title fight, your career, and everything... But I did, after. And if you really want this, then I am here for you to support you through it because I love you and I want the best for you. And I of course understand now that this is your decision, first and foremost. I want you to be happy. And we will have time to have children in the future when the right time comes. Now racing is the most important thing for you and I of course want to respect it.” Max said, drinking from his drink again as he waited for some kind of answer from Charles but when he didn't get any, he looked at him and his heart dropped at the sight; Charles crying silently, quickly wiping his tears off when he noticed Max was looking at him. “Charles, are you—” Max wanted to ask but in the next moment Charles buried his face into Max's soft hoodie, taking deep breaths to inhale the scent of it.

“I'm okay,” Charles mumbled into Max's chest, “It's just... I was scared you would hate me for choosing my career over this fetus. I want to win, I want to bring Ferrari back to the top, Max. I've put my whole racing career on it. It's not so far now, I can't let it go when I can almost taste the victory.”

“I would of course never hate you, Charles,” Max said, hugging Charles close to his chest to comfort him, “I needed time to think about everything, my point of view, your point of view, racing, private life, but now I agree with you and see things differently. This season is your strongest one yet and I love fighting with you on the track. If you win this title, it will be a hundred percent deserved and I will be of course incredibly proud of you.”

“Thank you for... For being there for me even when it's not so easy for you. I love you,” Charles murmured, closing his eyes. Max smiled, kissing Charles' messy hair.

“No need to thank me for it, supporting a loved one is a basic thing for me to do, Charles. And I love you too, so it is of course not a question that I am here for you and we will get through this.”

“We will, together,” Charles mumbled into Max's chest. “When the right time comes, I would love to start a family with you.”

“Me too,” Max agreed, closing his eyes, “When the right time comes.”

***

“How are you?” Andrea asked the next morning when Charles joined him in the car to go to the hospital.

“Nervous but fine.”

“Are you sure about it, about the...”

“Abortion,” Charles said. “You can say it. And yes, I am completely sure about it. We've discussed it with Max and he supports me.”

“I support you too,” Andrea said as he started the car. “You won't be alone.”

Charles looked at Andrea, a soft smile on his face. “Thank you. Max offered to be there but... I know it would be too painful for him so I said no because you'll be there with me and in a few hours I'll be home again.”

“It means a lot that I was the first one you called yesterday,” his trainer and friend said, “This is not something you'd tell everyone. I just... I'm glad to be with you and support you.”

“You're not my lover so it's a bit easier,” Charles smiled, “But I'm glad you're here with me. You're a good friend.”

“I try to be one.”

When they arrived at the hospital, a nurse guided them to a room where she did a quick check-up on Charles to make sure everything was okay and then left him alone with Andrea until the team was ready in the operating room.

“If anything happens...” Charles started and Andrea shook his head in disbelief.

“God, please, no...”

“Andrea, please,” Charles said, seriously, “If anything happens, call Max and tell him. He has all the right to know. Okay?”

“Okay,” Andrea nodded, “But everything is going to be alright, don't worry.”

“I told him I'll call him after but if I won't be in the right state, will you call him and tell him I'm okay?”

“Of course, I will,” the trainer nodded, patting Charles' hand. “I already have your resting and workout plan for the next few days. We'll do it slowly so your body has time to regenerate.”

“I don't want to miss a race—”

“And I don't want to risk any injuries,” Andrea interrupted, “So we're going to do it slowly. Trust me, Charles, please.”

Charles sighed, nodding, because he knew Andrea was right. “I trust you.”

“Are you ready, sir?” the nurse asked as he came back.

Charles nodded. “Yes, I am ready.”

“All right. I'll now show you the way to the operating room, the team is waiting for you there.”

“Okay,” Charles nodded, getting up.

“I'll wait for you,” Andrea said, squeezing Charles' shoulder, “Everything is going to be alright.”

“Thank you,” Charles whispered, hugging him quickly before leaving the room with the nurse.

***

Max was having a break between the videos they were recording for sponsors when his phone started ringing. When he looked at it, he saw Andrea's name on the screen. His heart quickened as he accepted the call.

“Andrea—”

“I'm calling to tell you that Charles is out of the operating room and is okay but still needs time to fully regain consciousness,” the trainer said, making Max sigh in relief.

“That is good news, thank you for calling. For how long he needs to stay there?”

“A few hours, I'm not sure yet. They keep an eye on him, I'm also here with him so I'll text you if I know more.”

“Okay, thank you, Andrea. Can you please tell him I love him and I'll be at home with him for the next few days? And also, please make sure he is not in any pain.”

“Of course, Max, I will,” Andrea reassured him, “He's slowly waking up now, I have to go.”

“Thank you for calling. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

After a few minutes, it seemed like Charles was fully conscious again.

“Hi,” Andrea smiled at him.

“Hi,” Charles did the same. “It's over. Finally.”

“Yeah,” Andrea agreed, “It's over. How are you feeling?”

“Relieved. Happy. And a bit tired.”

“Max asked me to tell you that he'll be at home with you in the next few days. Also, he said he loves you.”

Charles smiled. “Thank you for calling him.”

“It's okay. Are you feeling any pain?”

“No, not yet. I guess the anesthetic is still working.”

“Yeah, probably. They'll check you on soon and tell you how long you'll need to stay.”

“I wanna go home as soon as possible.”

“I know,” Andrea nodded, holding Charles' hand carefully not to hurt it because of the IV in it. “You'll be home soon.”

***

“Hi,” Max murmured as he saw Charles was about to wake up from his nap, now finally in his own bed after Andrea took him home and stayed with there until Max finished working with the sponsors. “I am here with you and I'm going to stay. If you want to, of course.”

“I missed you,” Charles said, slowly turning to let Max cuddle him. “I of course want you to stay. The doctor said I need to do things slowly in the next few days and then go back for a check-up. But I feel okay,” he said, smiling. It was freeing for him to know that he could concentrate on getting back to racing and that he didn't have to worry about the accident anymore. It was the past, and the future was what was important for him and for Max too.

“I am glad you are okay. It is nice to see you smile. You have a very pretty smile, Charles.” Max's compliment made Charles blush, so he hid his face in Max's hair.

“I'm happy again because soon I can go back to racing,” Charles said, caressing Max's face, “I feel free again and it means a lot to me. I can't wait to be back on the track and do what I love and what means the life to me.”

“You will be back soon.”

And you will be on the top.

[fieldbones]

It's been ten hours and I still can't stop crying. I haven't slept. I haven't stopped feeling that heavy weight in my soul.

Meeting him and being able to shake his hand in 2016 was a literal once in a lifetime opportunity and I'll never take it for granted. Fuck.

[autobotmedic]

[ I am once again hyperfixated on one of t.fp comics that are incredibly hard to find in english (this is google translated and thus likely imperfect)

undoubtedly this was supposed to be a haha funny grumpy old man is unhappy in various examples (in not one but TWO of the situations he got bored ahkfhjfkd HE NEEDS ENRICHMENT!!!)

but instead I am emotionally crushed by the strong implication that ratch hasn't experienced true happiness nor has any idea what true happiness would be to him for some kind of psychological creature to use against him

like... sir.....

[tempo-takoyaki]

Of course my favorite is the "protagonist" who gets a corruption arc.

[rainintheevening]

Caspian IX & Caspian X

There was a time / I used to look into my father's eyes / In a happy home / I was a king, I had a golden throne / Those days are gone ... I remember how it all changed / My father said / Don't you worry, don't you worry child / See Heaven's got a plan for you /Don't you worry / Don't you worry now

- 'Don't You Worry Child' cover by Kurt Schneider & Sam Tsui

For @an-angels-fury because this song has been making me feel things.

[monikamonik]

Good night eyes, beautiful, deep and clear. Good night to lips that draw smiles, make words and poems. Good night hands, because everything starts with the hands. Good night rain and melancholy. Good night to those who are not afraid of their imagination. Good night to you and your dreams wherever they are. Whatever name they have. Good night to your scattered sky, to your hidden silence. Good night to your broken heart. Good night.."

~Daniela Sasso

[samantabrzozowska]

"Be yourself is to be paradise in this world."

~ Sam

Thank you guys for support and all these gifts of your love! I am so grateful… Thanks to God. Together we can change the world into garden of paradise! With all my love Sam

DONATE ME AND MY ART HERE!

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/samchildofparadise21

[briaberri]

“I dragged a hand over my face before going to Elain and touching her too-bony shoulder. ‘Can I set you up in the garden? The herbs you planted are coming in nicely.’ ‘I can help her,’ said Azriel, stepping to the table as Elain silently rose. No shadows at his ear, no darkness ringing from his fingers as he extended a hand.”

I'm entirely pro Elain. But, before she was much featured in the text, I lived in the shadow camp. Full of questions, curious about details, intrigued by what was left unsaid, wondering about the quiet depths of a character born in the dark and held close to the chest.

Most the characters are on an arc of self-acceptance, self-worth, self-redemption. They're trauma-processing through the internalized lessons they've learned, that grind all of that into dust. They're trying to become heroes of their own stories. Az' captivated me with cues about the subtle subtext sensitivities in his character. He's not just looking for redemption, he's looking for an expression of his inner self that doesn't have an outlet in the world he lives in. One line sank him and his journey home in my heart: "I can help her." <3

Azriel is a character whose most noted trait is his reserve and restraint (until it's not). Why? A sense of unworthiness, shame about his lineage, complexity regarding the blood on his hands, wrapped in a desire to nurture and shield others. He's a character that says a lot of love with very few words. I imagine the seeds of revelation and release that start to bud -- ripping the flesh of their long germination and turning their reach their tendrils to the sun -- when he not only tells the room but realizes to himself that he can help her. Not, 'kill for her', not 'torture her enemies', not 'avenge her', not 'burn down cities to her feet'. He can fight for her though peace, through resonance, through shelter, through soft care, through patience and companionship, through simple domesticity (yes please!), through the absolute opposite of every tool he's typically got access to exercise. His shadows are gone because this is Azriel, shining.

Call back to the vulnerability hinted at when he states that he'll teach Feyfey to fly.

Call back to Feyre, noticing how relaxed and at peace Elriel are in the garden, but his attire is so at odds with the naturality of their companionship there.

I wonder what a release it is for his character to finally take that restrained, true self -- not the one he developed and honed to survive the world as the creature he is -- and pour it into well-being, into life -- for someone vulnerable. Azriel wants to take care of a person with tenderness, gentleness, to shelter space for a shared blossoming wholeness that isn't proven by the ability to spill blood, banter, and hold it's own. This tells me mountains about his character, and how he sees value in others. I think he needed what he pours into her, in those early disorienting days. I think Az sees a kindred spirit without the help of a warrior's body. He wants to be a warrior for her broken spirit. Her broken spirit doesn't need bloodshed. I don't know what's more loyal than when love is born of empathy.

I imagine how deeply it impacted him to realize that he could help Elain, and what kind of slow dam rupture of hope began to spill. He couldn't help Mor. He was too young to help his mother. He couldn't help Rhys. He couldn't help the sisters facing the Cauldron. He feels responsible. Azriel doesn't condescend Elain. He feels awed by the gift of a chance to help her.

I see the moment a very young child holds a newborn for the first time with all the sacred, instant sense of responsibility, desire to help, and recognition that adults have words for, but they may not.

I see those cutsie photos of fawns curled up with dogs and such.

Azriel wants Elain to to restore and thrive, knowing the chaos, violence, and overwhelm of their world and all it's powers. He recognizes that for once, he can be instrumental in care. and that is irresistible, not just because he cares for Elain, but because this lets him walk in his true self. To not restrain. That's not selfish... it's truthful. So, he steps forward on the cusp of exposure, full of the reverence and hope at the advent that he's free to release shields, and offers his hands. It has with all the tremulous hope of a childling waiting for that crack of light under the door of a dungeon to open to sunlight -- who realizes this time, he can open it.