#btb Hinata

[okamirayne]

(got cut off) the thought of hinata feeling guilty is now occupying my brain, and hanabi? I was actually a little surprised she agreed to drop food for naruto, but that gives me hope that from the events in UTS they are still in a good place but, Im still scared that neji's death has put a major strain on them. The hyuga clan must be a mess of emotions right now *cries*

Hey there Anon! 💜

Damn that sudden word restriction on anon ASKS 😑 how dare it eat this part of your message.

Ah, Hinata 😔 — yes, Neji’s death has definitely had an impact on her and Naruto. Though the Hyūga sisters have found some solidarity.

As for the clan itself…Oh indeed, there is much afoot in the Hyūga household…especially with their most severe lord and leader…

😬 Here there be a very pissed off white-eyed ‘Godfather’ 🫣🫢

Not a Happy Head Honcho at all.

[pikespendragon67]

Tagged by @hinatas-wife! GUREITO DASU YO

Star sign: Gemini (get Tumblr to stop hating Geminis 2kNow pls) Name: Pikes Height: 5′3″ 4 random songs: Dori Summa by Luvraw & BTB, The Wolf by SIAMES, The Sunlands from Octopath Traveler, and Can’t Wait Until the Night from Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow Have I ever had a poem/song written about me: I WISH (but probably if it’s not to insult me for the sake of getting a rouse out of me) When was the last time I played guitar: I think back when my brother was practicing it when he was 13? Other situation I can think of is playing Guitar Hero at a party some years ago and sucking at it Who is my celebrity crush: So I want to point out that these are still people and this will be me appreciating their work because I do not know these celebrities in real life, therefore I cannot fully judge them. THAT BEING SAID! Jason Momoa, Tom Hiddleston, and Crispin Freeman seem to be the top 3 What’s a sound I hate and a sound I love: Writing on chalkboards and the letter “S” Do I believe in ghosts: Yep, one I believe haunted me in 5th or 6th grade. My best friend told me she had a ghost in her house, she came over, I got a Spiritomb plushie at that time and had nightmares about a worm slithering on my finger & popping it off, gave it to said friend for a week, and then had it returned nightmare free How about aliens: Refer to said best friend for that answer (on a related cryptid note the Fresno Nightcrawlers and Hopskinville Goblins gave me the hibbity jibbities) Do I drive: Working on it! Just need to learn how to turn onto unmarked streets for my upcoming test (gosh I get scared of other people when I drive), then do stuff like parallel parking & night driving What was the last book I read: For class, Living with Our Genes. For fun, The Count of Monte Cristo Do I like the smell of gasoline: ...Yes What’s the worst injury I’ve gotten: I was a wee 3-year-old when I was hula hooping near a brick and accidentally got my forehead hit. There was a gash there that the doctors needed some kind of glue to close up. Only other things I can think of are emotional damage, me scraping my leg against a playground barrier (brushed it off like a champ tho), and wisdom teeth removals Do I have any obsession now: I CAN PLAY FINAL FANTASY GAMES AT LAST. And I’m getting stoked for October  Do I tend to hold grudges against people that have done me wrong: Big time, especially if they don’t show signs of improving themselves/our relationship Am I in a relationship: One day but I’m looking for emotional intimacy that I think not a lot of people my age are really into (at least in person because I know Tumblr likes to romanticize being in love)

Tagging: WHOMEVER WOULD LIKE TO DO THIS

[okamirayne]

*a wild friend raises a hand like a school kid*

So I can't believe I've never asked this before because it's been...not really bothering me but I've been curious about it for a while

Hinata...knows, right? Or at least suspects something long before anyone else. Cuz she's giving meaningful looks and comments from the very beginning that no one picks up on, especially not the Dumb Genius Duo, and I find extremely fascinating

Especially the whole thing about Neji needing someone to be there for him. You'd think she'd consider Naruto first considering the context of Neji slipping back into the behaviour Naruto beat out of him, but her first thought is Shikamaru

So, does she know?

*the wild friend keeps hand raised and waits for an answer patiently*

*snorts ceremonial matcha tea off Zachary (her laptop) and turns crazy eyes upon a Wild Friend*

Ah! Oh...wha?....Hinata...

Hinata...knows, right? Or at least suspects something long before anyone else. [...] So, does she know?

*grins manically, salutes, and goes back to snorting ceremonial matcha off poor Zacky*

[okamirayne]

OMG <3 So about this bit ''I can confirm that they had been very successful at concealing it, although by the time Heaven Hold Us starts (post War), these surviving characters know for certain:...'' - is it possible that you could give us some more details about how they found out/figured it out? <3

Hey there, @barasai 🧡

Regarding details! I can tell you that all the characters are going to reveal how they found out/figured it out in the upcoming chapters of HHU. That said...

Hinata knew first, before anyone else, as she suspected back in BtB, though never explicitly stated it to Shikamaru. Though it was implied in Break to Breathe when Shikamaru was getting ready to chase after Neji again (after the Gentle Fist head-trauma the Hyuuga gave him 😅 )

BTB CHAPTER 36 EXCERPT: [...] "I…I said he needed someone to help pull him back, but…" Hinata trailed off, recovering with a frown. "But I didn't think it would cost this much." "There's always a price." Shikamaru shrugged, the nonchalance so forced it felt like hefting rocks on his shoulders. "I knew that when I got into this." "But it's not the same…" Hinata said, her eyes blinking doe-like. "It's different now." Shikamaru arched a brow. "Nothing's changed." No sooner had he said it than Hinata's gaze took on a quality of calm understanding that struck him numb quicker than any lick of chakra to his nerves ever could. "Yes it has…" she whispered. Fuck…

So, there was Hinata's moment of "gotcha". Though she had grace enough not to announce it or disclose it to anyone else throughout the rest of the series. Sakura didn't cotton on in that scene, as it was so far beyond the scope of possibility or credulity given the urgency of what was happening.

As for the others: Kakashi, Genma, Ibiki, Temari, Sai, Tsuno, and Choza.

Their knowledge will be revealed in HHU (at least that's what my plot bunnies are showing me 😅...it's almost Easter, the bunnies can't lie...right? 😆 Right.)

Thanks for the ASK, luv! And for your interest in the BtB madness. Love and appreciate the awesome support! 🫶🏼💜xxx

[okamirayne]

Hi Rayn, I love spending time in the BTB world and have really enjoyed your style of writing through the years, and I'm so curious if we will see more of the Hyuga clan in the future should you return to this space. I loved Hitaro in all of his nastiness and love how you added meat to the Hyugas. Will we get a glimpse into more of the hyuga household or neji's experience in it while alive then when he returns *hiding* if thats more spoilery would love to hear thoughts on hyuga dynamic generally

Heya @virginhawks💜

Aww, luv, thank you for this lovely message. I'm so happy to hear that you've enjoyed the BtB-verse throughout the years. To know it's something you've given time to makes me a very happy and humbled storyteller. 🥰

The Hyuga clan! Well how could I resist if returning to that world? They're a fascinating political entity as well as a family community, what with their hardline traditions and customs.

I loved Hitaro in all of his nastiness and love how you added meat to the Hyugas.

Oh awesome! Thank you 🥰 I'm really chuffed to hear that, as you never quite know how OCs will hit. Hitaro was fun and interesting to write. I'd certainly enjoy revisiting his presence post-UtS. I'm really pleased you felt the Hyugas were fleshed out a bit. Again, like the Uchiha, Kishimoto drew them a pretty complex portrait...I do love filling in the details as they play out in my crazy noggin, and I'm delighted that brings you entertainment and enjoyment.

Will we get a glimpse into more of the hyuga household or neji's experience in it while alive then when he returns *hiding* if thats more spoilery would love to hear thoughts on hyuga dynamic generally

Oh, if I were to return to the BtB-world then I would certainly like to say I'd be keen to explore that. Both via Neji and through some of the other Hyuga members. Don't worry, it's not spoilery per se as a lot of stuff tends to unfold organically as I write it, unless I have very set plot points that I know for certain need to happen. Specific conversations etc. between certain characters.

Regarding my own thoughts on the Hyuga dynamics, generally speaking? Hmn. That's tough, as there are lots of different players involved. And a lot of emotions...especially post War. I mean heck...this happened..

So there'd be no shortage of perspectives to explore - in light of all that ugliness and tragedy. From the old-school elders, to Hiashi and Hitaro's generation, then of course Neji and the Hyuga sisters. In the background of those immediate choices, I would be tempted to look at the Hyuga mothers belonging to both castes, Branch and Main House. The pain those women would go through? Ouch. The impact that would leave on Hinata and Hanabi regarding having kids of their own? Double ouch. Yeah, it's a big fat angsty abscess wanting to be popped. Gross, sorry.

Thank you again for your message, luv. For bolstering my spirits and reminding me why I love storytelling and why I so deeply appreciate the kindness of readers such as yourself. 🥰😘

[okamirayne]

*a wild friend calmly walks over and dumps a mountain of cried through tissues on the ground*

I blame you and I know you're not sorry! How dare you ruin my taste in romance, I can only truly enjoy the genre now if its as painful and raw and tender as these two

The end of Requiem? I just can't even, you beautiful beautiful monster you! The ache, the blood and sinew in the way they crave each other, the gentle flow of time when they're at peace together...*adds another tissue to the mountain*

I mean, everything about this series is good, like Kakashi and Genma and that world weary heaviness, or just Ino and Choji being good beans, the lead in to Kusagakure...but honey, I am as addicted to you ShikaNeji as they are to each other

And when I put it into perspective it gets even more heart-rending because they're just kids! Like, the depth of their feelings is already incredible on its own but when I think that these are teenagers...in a better world they'd be so fucking lucky to find each other that young...but in this one...

Puuh!

I'd also like to point out that one of my favourite recurring elements of this whole series is Shikamaru and Neji instinctively and simultaneously leaping to each other's protection. I live for stuff like this!

Also the fact that you found a way to get Neji hammered twice is absolutely incredible, I take my hat off and pull out snack and tea from it for you because that's some heavy magic

Anyway, onto the next!!!

*the wild friend dives into the mountain of tissues like Scrooge McDuck and doesn't emerge again*

*a wild friend calmly walks over and dumps a mountain of cried through tissues on the ground*

I blame you and I know you're not sorry!

Only because you shared that super sad dream with me and now we're both weighing the impact of the pain trains that we clearly enjoy driving...*sniffles subtly into teacup*

The end of Requiem?

DUDE! Like, how the hell are you reading this fast? I mean seriously, are you absorbing words through osmosis...I am...honestly astounded...but also, deeply touched that you're so engrossed in the BtB madness...wow....

I just can't even, you beautiful beautiful monster you!

I do try...

Now, if I step out of my amusement into the overgrown territory of warm fuzzy feels...I gotta say I'm a tangled hot mess -- as in, nuclear meltdown coloured by Hinata's complexion.

Thank you so much for what you shared here...I get hit all at once with the overwhelming gratitude and it's humbling and heartening in ways that result in me repeatedly failing to translate my feelings into words. Just know, it hits. And I feel it. For a long time.

It was a treat to be able to write that bond as you described it, and I'm so happy that you've connected with it and are impacted by it as a much as I was whilst writing it.

I'd also like to point out that one of my favourite recurring elements of this whole series is Shikamaru and Neji instinctively and simultaneously leaping to each other's protection. I live for stuff like this!

YES!

Also the fact that you found a way to get Neji hammered twice is absolutely incredible, I take my hat off and pull out snack and tea from it for you because that's some heavy magic

Ha! Well...just can't resist a drunken, drugged, or heavily dosed and dopey Hyuga! Shikamaru needs some of that himself, I think. *evil plot bunnies hatch*

Whoa. Godspeed, my dear Wild Friend. Though I don't think you need it at the rate you are powering through those chapters...bloody hell, what are you running on? DO TELL ALL.

*leaves out tea, treats, tissues and a bucket of grateful tears* 💜💜💜💜💜💜

[okamirayne]

Hiiii, so I'm hijacking that super Btb ask from December 2018 about were the others supportive/accepting of ShikaNeji, given their rocky past together? (Like, Kiba, for instance)... Could you maybe, possibly expand a bit on your answer there that his reaction holds big one-shot potential? :D I would love to hear some details and any tidbits you'd be willing to share regarding this! I just love being immersed in your Naruto-verse, as it basically my headcanon now. Wishing you peace and rest! <3

Hey there, @inarvm! 🩷

Hope my response finds you well, luv. Cheers for dropping in on yours truly with this ASK ^_^

Ah yes, the potential reactions from the rest of the shinobi crew to the ShikaNeji ship they didn't even know was sailing.

Could you maybe, possibly expand a bit on your answer there that his [Kiba] reaction holds big one-shot potential? I would love to hear some details and any tidbits you'd be willing to share regarding this!

I can most certainly try...

Well, given Kiba and Neji's whole 'will-they-won't-they' throw-down (and not in the let me love you kinda way) the ShikaNeji reveal makes for an interesting wtf-revelation for our dog-nin. Though it's less of a shock than a dawning realisation for Kiba. He clocks on, shall we say.

He considers Shikamaru his friend, his buddy, his childhood compadre, whereas Neji is mostly relegated to the comrades-I'd-like-to-KO-but-can’t category. I mean sure, Neji gained some serious clout with Kiba for saving Shikamaru's bacon, and the ongoing game of 'defrosting Mr Cold Shoulder' sometimes amuses Kiba, but he usually always clashes with Neji — and that isn't something that really changes, even in the lead up to the Hyuuga's death.

All that considered, you can imagine Kiba’s confusion over Shikamaru choosing to hang his heart on a Hyuuga that isn't Hinata lol. There's also the Temari equation which hasn't been solved for the dog-nin.

So you've got a few things going on here:

Protectiveness towards Shikamaru

Wariness of Neji

Confusion over Temari

His one-sided enemy o' mine drama

...Possibly other crap that hasn't yet been disclosed to me and may come out whilst writing Kiba.

I hope that gives a little bit of insight into Kiba's potential response — always hard to fully say for certain until I'm writing the scene, but these are the strong impressions that come up, given how he feels or thinks about Neji.

I just love being immersed in your Naruto-verse, as it basically my headcanon now. Wishing you peace and rest! <3

That's so kind and supportive of you to say — and it's hugely appreciated. 💜 Thank you, sweetheart 💜

[okamirayne]

Hi Rayne! 😘 This is a no-pressure ASK so don’t worry if you don’t want to answer! Also please don’t see this as pressure for you to write (and appease this lurker lol) but only as interest 🧡. Even if you never write more for BtB/HHU, when u said u had the plot worked out I had to ask b/coz I have no self control (ha ADHD FTW!) and my btb headcanons are screaming for info. Was so psyched about Naru & Sas, any more new / POV characters u had planned on appearing/writing? Mwah! 💋 Lovings!

Hi Anon! Thank you for your ASK and your curiosity🥹 You sweet people who show interest are helping heal the third degree burns on my writer’s spirit from burnout. ❤️‍🩹🙏🏼 Thank you. You’re all just so awesome 🫶🏼

Thank you also for the no-pressure caveat. I truly appreciate that understanding 💜

[…] when u said u had the plot worked out I had to ask b/coz I have no self control (ha ADHD FTW!) and my btb headcanons are screaming for info.

🤣😂 Love this. Well I’ve got it worked out insofar as I usually do (the big plot points) with huge wiggle room for surprises and shifts…I’ve already had a few and that’s only from 8 chapters 😧 Writing certain characters always throws such delightful or disturbing curveballs!

Was so psyched about Naru & Sas,

Ah yay! 😮‍💨 I’m chuffed you’re happy to see Sasuke and Naruto as MCs. Being in their headspace is very interesting, challenging, and humbling. And as always I hope to do them justice 🙏🏼 with narrative license within the BtB world. So thank you for the thumbs up! 👍🏼

any more new / POV characters u had planned on appearing/writing?

Oh, ho, ho! It’s gif time. I have no self-control either in this realm 😆 Not sure if they’ll all be in POV capacity but some may very well be.

Characters lined up:

Possibly others? That’s where the wiggle room comes in. Others may pop up. Or pop in. Not sure these next ones class as new but they’re in there:

Again, possibly more. Other Hyūga members too…ah, and then there’s the OG Konoha 11 chūnin that’ll be popping up 🥰 Unresolved issues abound! Especially for Tenten, Lee, and of course Ino & Kiba…Chōji 😢…Hinata…Sakura (re: Sasuke)…it’s a messy aftermath…

Thanks again, Anon for your interest and your understanding 💜

[okamirayne]

I love btb cause yes I live for the ShikaNeji content but, I personally am not a fan of SasuNaru and I sometimes like Sasusaku.

People may agrue that Sasuke tried to kill Sakura but he did the Same to Naruto. I guess sometimes Tumblr ruins some ships for me because I personally used to like Sasunaru before Tumblr. But I also don't like Sasusaku on occasions because of Kishimoto. He made them end up together but made their first date 1 fucking minute and instead of animating Sakura hidden or Sasuke hidden. To give more insight on the couple like shikamaru hidden. He just left it as a book. I swear sometimes i just hear the name kishimoto and I wanna face palm.

I also love the way you write KibaIno because it is just so sweet that it makes my heart melt they way Kiba is so protective over her like so cute. But ShikaNeji just gives me fireworks.

Hey there, Anon!

Thanks for your message! Ah yes, the various ships and where and why they sometimes run aground for us...

Big love for Kishimoto for creating such a wonderful series in its strengths, but yes, I feel you supremely where the weaknesses in character development are concerned -- specifically with the women and the romance (though I appreciate that's not his genre-target -- that said, if you ARE going to do it, please do right by the poor characters...I just want to weep for Hinata sometimes).

I also love the way you write KibaIno because it is just so sweet that it makes my heart melt they way Kiba is so protective over her like so cute.

Daww! Thank you, lovely. They are wonderful to write. Kiba, yes...protective and besotted he is indeed...

...though sometimes he wants to take his stormy wildcat by the throat.

But theirs is a special match.

But ShikaNeji just gives me fireworks.

Well hell, I'll toast to that, Anon. ^_^

[okamirayne]

aaayyy.. Late night Naruto thoughts again. Been searching my mind for an hour already but did anyone know or atleast ended up figuring out about the Shikamaru and Neji thing? I dont remember reading anything about it... maybe implied? did I miss anything like that?

Late Night Anon!  Those zzZZz’s still not finding you? 

[...] did anyone know or atleast ended up figuring out about the Shikamaru and Neji thing?

The long answer is...all has yet to be revealed?? That being said, I’m pretty sure there is a former ASK where this is addressed...I just can’t for the life of me find it at this moment. Also, as is often the case, writing in the BtB-verse often uncovers things I didn’t expect. Yes, other characters do find out. But on the grounds of further spoilers, I’ll leave it hanging until I get the chakra to continue on in HHU. I CAN tell you that Hiashi and Shikaku knew. Hinata too. And Ibiki strongly suspected before Neji’s death. Thanks for the ASK, luv! <3

[okamirayne]

I wonder, if you were to indulge us with another hetero pairing within their circle of friends in BtB series apart from KibaxIno who would it be and why? or maybe are you open to writing a love triangle and such?

Hi there, Anon!

I wonder, if you were to indulge us with another hetero pairing within their circle of friends in BtB series apart from KibaxIno who would it be and why?

Oh wow. Okay.  This is one of those times when my brain freezes on the spot and I’d need to be writing again to see what developed. Hinata would be interesting to work with, as would Sakura for that matter; moving them away from their canon obsessions that don’t seem to pay the women half as much attention as they do each other...

I’d probably pair them outside of the friendship circle though. I’d really need to get into their skins for that. Touching on Sakura’s heartache over Sasuke was really quite sad to write...it’d be interesting to explore her growth through that.

or maybe are you open to writing a love triangle and such?

Oh yes. I’m open to going wherever the characters take me on the ride. Though I don’t always know beforehand where that will lead. Part of why I love going with the flow when in the writing process rather than pre-planning/pre-empting too much insofar as relationships (unless it’s absolutely pivotal to the plot, then I have to give it time to saturate in my brainpan). For example, while I knew Genma had a past big love, I didn’t expect him to be sweet on Kurenai -- which would’ve caused one hell of an issue with Asuma had the Sarutobi known. Then there’s Shizune’s unrequited feelings for Genma.  Ibiki’s casual ‘no-strings-attached’ with Anko. Hmn. The older Jonin seem to be coming up a lot more.  I’d need time with Shino, Lee, Sakura, Hinata, Tenten, Kankuro (if you include the Suna bunch) etc. to really do them justice. <3 Thanks for the interesting ASK! <3

[okamirayne]

You totally super-duper undeniably would deserve it but I am a nice Friend so I shall share the few details I do remember cuz dreams are fickle and like to be forgotten and also, since when are dreams totally coherent

It was around the time of the anniversary of Neji's death which meant everyone who knew about them was getting really careful around Shikamaru, which made him more aware of it. And Neji has the great timing of being revealed alive around that time which makes Shikamaru's life go completely off the rails with trying to figure out how he feels, what he wants, where he wants to go and even his brain is totally overwhelmed by the emotions he's feeling

The added bonus of Neji still being essentially the same as he was when he died while Shikamaru's had several years to mourn and be formed by that made it even more difficult to get a foothold. Not to mention Temari was a thing here too so she had to struggle with the fact that she had been the second after the deep, inescapable thing between Shikamaru and Neji and now Neji is back and alive and she doesn't know where she stands now

The thing is, this was a dream so it was mostly just emotions and no concrete timeline or canon so I can't even tell you how old Shikamaru was or if he was a dad yet or if it was even set in either canon canon or BtB canon or both?

What really stood out to me was how at ease Neji seemed with the whole thing. Like, sure, he was sad about everything he missed, about the pain his death caused (especially to Shikamaru, Hinata and Naruto) but on the other hand he was glad that despite everything the people he cared about lived on without him, didn't stop moving forward. He was mostly willing to step back, accepted that the place he occupied in the world right now was that of someone long gone, and to let others decide how to deal with his return and go along with that

I think I woke up around the time Shikamaru hugged Neji and broke down but man, how that happened is beyond me

Anyway, it was very emotional and sad and still somehow beautiful and entirely your fault. Not sure how, but it was

I'm gonna go eat now and then hug my dog *flies away*

FRIEND...

Well shit.

You sharing the dream. Me consoling -- at risk of bodily harm (again, justified).<3

Anyway, it was very emotional and sad and still somehow beautiful and entirely your fault. Not sure how, but it was...

Yeah. No. I got nothing. You layeth the smackdown on my candy ass with the ShikaNeji feels, Friend. I asked for it. I deserved it. I’m tapping out. *crawls away to drown sorrows in teacup* Could I borrow your dog as an emotional support buddy?

[okamirayne]

Late night anon here doing my daily rounds in your account. Oh gosh.. That sounded creepy didn't it? Anyways.. yes those zzZzZzz's aint even making the effort to find me too. What is sleep? 😅

Probably not gonna have the chance to have any again tonight especially now that you reminded me. Of course Hiashi had the "talk" with Neji in UtS. In my understanding it was like a "Are you sure about what you're getting into?" kinda talk. ahhh it slipped my mind. As for Shikaku I suddenly remembered back then when I first read BtB my foolish self was, out of respect for Yoshino and the Hyuga wives, trying so hard not to make it a headcanon that there once was a Hizashi-Shikaku-Hiashi dynamic out there. I mean that's just me. BtB didn't really indicated it. Or did it? Implied maybe? *smirk* Haaa.. you already know I have craaaazy thoughts. Also, after finding his son beaten up that night, I imagine Shikaku having thoughts like "OMG! Hyuga love is really though. I should know. " As for Hinata and Ibiki.. well I wouldn't have assumed if you didnt tell me. I mean ahhhhh... I need to think about this real hard. Sorry I didnt intend for this to be an essay. 😅✌️

Ha! Late Night Anon, the struggle is real.

[...] trying so hard not to make it a headcanon that there once was a Hizashi-Shikaku-Hiashi dynamic out there. 

I mean that's just me. BtB didn't really indicated it. Or did it? Implied maybe? *smirk* Haaa.. you already know I have craaaazy thoughts. 

Ha. Crazy is all the rage in my glorified nuthouse, my dear. But seriously, I won’t tease on that. No. In BtB it was strictly platonic regarding Shikaku and the twins. Doesn’t mean a girl can’t daydream...;)

[okamirayne]

(1) Hello! I don't want to sound passive and aggressive and I've been thinking for a long time how to formulate this question so as not to offend you. Is there anything you don't like about the btb series? Or is there any particular criticism that affects you more? I mean, I am among people who are impressed with your writing and your work is quite popular among fans of this ship.

Hello, luv!

Wow, not at all passive aggressive and very constructively and tactfully posed. Oh my god for sure.  There’s a fair bit about the series that I don’t like and/or would want to revisit and/or re-write.  When I look at the first instalment of BtB and the final instalment of UtS (and I guess HHU too), the huge growth in my writing style makes me want to scrap the first instalment and rewrite it all over again (OtC too).  

It’s only natural. 

I can’t speak for all creatives, but I’d think that as you develop, you sometimes look back on earlier pieces and think -- oh dear lord, no, please hide it from the light of day.  

I had no idea at the time the story was going to grow so exponentially or that the reviewers would push me to up my game constantly.  Initially, I was playing it safe, writing very much with the canon-character humour and dialogue during a lot of the first instalment before I really grew into the confidence to take the characters in a different direction and darken and mature the humour to fit the way I naturally write it, whilst hopefully staying true to the characters.  But yes, there’s a lot I’d have changed. God, I’d definitely want to re-write Hinata...ugh, poor Hinata. Naruto too.

 [...] is there any particular criticism that affects you more?

Hmmn, affects me negatively or positively, luv? 

Someone pointed out the “wise man” trope to me in BtB (the first instalment), which made me concede and consider the use of the monk.  A very valid critique.  Sometimes tropes are inevitable, or indeed, deliberate, but that made me really re-consider how I’d have written or re-written that part of the first instalment.  I appreciate constructive pointers like that.  There was another comment about the overuse or belabouring of a metaphor here and there -- again, totally valid.  My writing runs the risk of “purple-proseing” sometimes, so I’ve grown to watch out for that.

Some critique is of course very subjective and about more about personal tastes and preferences -- you’re never ever going to please everyone. I had people writing to me asking why Neji wasn’t the typical “uke”...which had me doing a “face-to-the-palm-to-the-WALL” -- not because I was offended by the person asking or even by the question, but more because I hate to limit or define characters by pigeon-holing them into a set sexual preference dynamic. Don’t get me wrong, I totally appreciate that this dynamic exists and is very much concrete for some pairings -- but chances are, you won’t be finding it in my works where both males are very much in their male energy, which is why I tend to use the term “slash” rather than “yaoi”.  Yaoi comes with its own tropes and expectations and I think some readers were disappointed not to find the standard dynamic as black-and-white as they’d hoped. Sorry my lovelies! Wrong show. But thank you for taking the time to find out.  Different strokes for different folks and all that.

But yes, I see a wealth that I’d change in the earlier BtB instalments; but that comes from time, experience, confidence, feedback and practice. It would be weird as hell if I didn’t look back and cringe or critique my works -- I’m extremely harsh with myself that way. But the cringe-factor (healthy cringe-factor, not the unhealthy perfectionist self-critic -- which I also possess) shows growth and I’m very honoured and deeply humbled that I was granted a kind, warm, supportive and hugely encouraging audience to help me develop my writing, test my style and find my voice.

[okamirayne]

I'm thinking about break to breathe again and have a few questions. When did shikamaru first start crushing on neji? When did he first realize he liked guys, or at least was wondering if he did? Did he ever tell anyone that he was into guys?

Hello, Anon!

Firstly, I’m so happy to learn BtB has been on the brain.

Secondly, thanks for taking the time to drop me a line over here on my tumblr haunt.

When did shikamaru first start crushing on neji?

The night he chased him down.

When did he first realize he liked guys, or at least was wondering if he did?

When he met “Shin” (flashback shows this in Under These Scars) at age 15.

Did he ever tell anyone that he was into guys?             

No. Given that he was equally attracted to women, it wasn’t something he felt the need to share -- however, if he hadn’t gotten involved with Neji two years after “Shin”, he’d perhaps have had to have faced it later down the line when his peers started to couple up and the pressure to disclose his personal life was on...said pressure resulting from the persistence of a certain Yamanaka loudmouth. ;)  That being said, Asuma, Shikaku, Hiashi and Hinata are aware by the last BtB installment...not counting Heaven Hold Us, in which other characters are also aware.

Thanks for the questions, luv! <3