#but AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH (*sobs and cries*)
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#moonlight rambles#personal#i might just be drunk and mentally ill and unmedicated but... now both of my best friends (the people that I've known since high school)#they both have a chronic disease and i am just inconsolable#this upsets me so much right now idk#i love them so much i just want them to have a HAPPY and HEALTHY live is even that too much to ask??#i know they're not going to die from what they have... they'll just have to use medication and insulin and whatnot#but AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHH (*sobs and cries*)#it's just NOT FAIR#I HATE IT. IF I COULD EXCHANGE MY LIFE TO CURE THEM BOTH I FUCKING WOULD#i wish i could just ... say or do anything to make it better. say anything else than 'i'm sorry'#and being told (and immediately forgetting) what to do in an emergency... i'm so sorry i forgot again I'll have to ask again ;-;#why do they get the chronic disease? why not me? all i get is suicidal thoughts :/#sorry i just love my best friends so much (even though i don't know if i can call one of them my best friend. idk. it's complicated.#I'll just call him that for the sake of the post)#i love you both so much and i am sorry you have to go through all that 💔#I'm definitely drunk but once i sober up the point still stands#you know what the best thing about this is? i don't think they would both feel the same way about me if i had something.#at least not so intensely...
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