#but I do think his interactions with Schrader would be fascinating

[stormflute]

Diabolical/Pandora's Box was the first Layton game I ever tried to play so it holds a special place in my heart. That being said, I never got very far as a kid so I mostly saw Dr. Schrader's introduction at the start ;-; I figured I could draw him (mostly) recovered for @layton-npc-appreciation-week

[woozapooza]

Breaking Bad: The Verdict

For many years I thought I would never in a million years watch this show. It looked intense and violent and depressing and I could handle those things in historical fiction and fantasy, but not in a story set in the real world in the present day. I credit It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia for making me realize that my tastes in media had changed, and therefore I ultimately credit IASIP for getting me to give Breaking Bad a shot. AND I’M GLAD I GAVE IT A SHOT! WHAT A SHOW! WHAT A LITERAL SHOW!

Favorite character: Jesse, obviously! Love of my life! He is everything Walt could never be. He is the heart of Breaking Bad and he deserves only good things ever.

Second favorite character: Saul! Every time he was on screen I was like YES IT’S THIS GUY AGAIN YES. I completely see why he got a spinoff. Also, I called his number and oh boy it was worth it. I highly recommend doing so if you haven’t already. 505-842-5662.

Even though he sucks so hard, Walt is undeniably one of the most fascinating main characters I’ve ever seen. And really, I shouldn’t say “even though he sucks so hard" because that makes it sound like his awfulness is an impediment to him being such a fantastic character, which couldn’t be further from the truth. The seeds of Heisenberg were present all along BUT you can also 100% see how he justifies every decision he makes and why he’s able to continually convince himself that he’s not the villain. And honestly, this might sound bad, but I found myself sympathizing with him a lot, even when I knew objectively that he had only himself to blame for whatever problem he was facing (which is the case most of the time). And I’m fine with that! It’s literally just a testament to how well written and acted he is. Part of me thinks it shouldn’t be allowed for an actor to win multiple Emmys for the same role because it’s not really fair, but part of me is like, no, actually, it is good and right that Bryan Cranston won four Emmys for playing Walt. He deserved every one of them.

And Walt and Jesse have one of the most interesting dynamics I’ve ever seen. “Dynamic” is a special word I like to employ when “relationship” just doesn’t feel strong enough to express the depth of what’s going on between two characters. Other “dynamics” include Uhtred and Alfred in The Last Kingdom and Flint and Silver in Black Sails. It’s pretty undeniable that Walt feels genuine affection for Jesse, however twisted his ways of expressing it are. Walt turning against Jesse in Ozymandias was one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen a show do. I was very relieved that their last interaction in Felina ended on a not-utterly-terrible note.

Skyler White has done nothing wrong ever in her life.

Neither has Marie Schrader.

Walter Junior is my son now. I adopted him. He’s mine. I kept wishing that he would meet Jesse, and I’m so disappointed that he never did. They have so much in common! Since finishing the show and reading stuff that other fans have said, I’ve learned that this is a common sentiment. Ah well, that’s what fanfic is for, I guess.

What a perfect blend of comedy and drama this show is. One example of BrBa’s comedy that stands out to me is in the second or third episode when Walt and Jesse are cleaning up after the bathtub incident. After they clean inside the house, there’s a shot of the two of them outside, each standing in an inflatable pool, passing a hose between the two of them, taking turns hosing the blood and gore off of each other. The most brilliant thing about this scene, the thing that elevates it from funny to hysterical, is that the pools are decorated with adorable cartoon sea creatures. The contrast between the horror of what’s happening, the cutesy pools, and the characters’ trance-like demeanor had me DYING.

Overall grade: A+

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Stick Together

@grodygabe

How long did this take me? I don’t know and I don’t want to think about it X3 But uuuuh, finally the fic fgor Damian and Flora meeting! I hope it’s good ^^’

There weren’t exactly too many people, but it was still difficult to not find the situation somewhat overwhelming.

Nine adults.

Six kids, not including him and his two siblings.

Damian mostly watched everybody, observed how they interacted with each other. It was still a rather curious thing that all three siblings had been quickly accepted into the family that clearly did not just stop here. It was a big family from what they had been told, only those that were directly related to their adopter had come, those being her parents, siblings, their spouses and their own children. Even then, it was still fifteen people as well as Damian and his siblings.

Funny enough, these weren’t even all of the new cousins they would be meeting. The youngest of them all had been sent off to the homes of their other grandparents, adding another five kids into this mere mix.

Damian sighed to himself as he stood in place, actually leaning against a wall as he saw the adults chatting with each other. Of course, his brother was amongst this crowd, eager to meet and learn everything about this new family.

In front of Felix were two rather tall and well built men, Atlas and Schrader were their names. They were apparently married to each other, but also married to his adopter’s elder sister who was much shorter compared to the two.

Felix was clearly already fascinated by the two men, one being a musician and carnival owner while the other was a book-shop owner, quite the scholar type.

That was another thing Damian learned about this family, business careers really coursed through their veins.

A few feet away was his younger sister, clinging onto Cordelia who was introducing her as best as possible to a couple: Cordelia’s brother and his wife. Next to them was a young boy, a smaller version of “Davey”, and the boy was clearly of the shy type like Margaux.

“Damian, honey?”

A woman’s voice was heard behind Damian, prompting him to turn around after removing himself from the wall to face the woman that had approached him.

“You don’t mind me calling you any names like that, right?” said the woman introduced as Coraline, Cordelia’s mother who also went by Coral or even...Jelly. Apparently, she really loved jellyfish.

“I guess not.” Damian slightly shrugged as he looked at Jelly, seeing that she gave him a warm smile.

“Would you care for some cheeseburgers or hot dogs? Or is there anything else you might want?”

“I’m okay for now.” Damian slightly waved his hand. 

“Do you at least want to take a seat?” she offered, motioning her hand to a lone table in the dining room beside the kitchen, this being apart from all the tables that had been set up for all of the guests. “I know how overwhelming meeting so many new people can be. Even though I’m a business-woman and a socialite, I understand the feeling. It’s nice to be alone sometimes.”

Damian eyed the table before looking back at Jelly for a bit.

“I can bring over some snacks for you, maybe a laptop or something so you can be entertained.”

He continued to look at her for just a bit, then giving a slight nod.

“I...I appreciate that.” he spoke up, Jelly nodding in response before Damian walked into the kitchen and took a seat. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” she gestured before making her way out, leaving Damian to sit alone in the kitchen.

He examined his surroundings, noticing the slight mess of dishes that were most likely left for after the family get-together. Besides the things meant for the cheeseburgers and hot dogs, there were some seafood leftovers. Clam chowder specifically, he had heard that chowder was one of the possible foods being served today.

Damian was then startled when he heard some scuttling, nails scraping against the floor before a flash of blue came into his sight. This blue figure nearly crashed into the doorway as it came into the kitchen, actually bumping into a chair after it practically ping-ponged around.

“Mana! Slow down!”

The boy stood up from his chair in an instant before he finally saw the blue creature near him: a rather...he actually didn’t know what it was he was looking at.

“Mana!” 

Damian brought his arms up in a sort of defensive manner as he felt something be placed on his lap, something that was wiggling in pure excitement.

“Oh Damian, I’m sorry. He just got too excited.” 

In front of Damian was the strange creature he had briefly seen earlier, wagging its tail as it gave him a wide smile with a tongue that lolled out in pure glee. On the creature were now the hands that belonged to Cordelia’s sister.

“What...what is that?” Damian blinked at Mana who wiggled with excitement, jumping around in Ula’s arms as he was eager to properly meet the new family member. 

“This is Mana, he is an al-, ahem. He’s an axolotl. A much larger one.” Ula explained as she settled Mana down, petting his head as he sat in a calmer manner.

“Why does he look like that?” Damian pointed at Mana who could only smile.

“What do you mean?” Ula gave a chuckle as she kneeled down to Mana’s height, holding him to make sure he wouldn’t jump up on Damian again. 

“Just...I don’t know.” Damian shrugged as he examined more of Mana. “I saw him earlier. He acts like a dog but...isn’t.”

“Because he’s an axolotl. Part of the salamander species.”

“I’ve never seen an axolotl that big.”

“He’s a big axolotl. From a totally different part of the world.”

“What part?”

“I see you’ve finally met Mana!” Jelly’s voice was heard from the doorway as the clicking of her high heels followed, Ula sighing in relief as she knew there would be more questions she needed improvised answers for. “How is the goodest of boys treating you?”

“Um...good?” Damian’s eyes remained on Mana who wiggled even more at the sound of Jelly’s words, clearly proud of himself for achieving such a title.

“Mana is a long time family-member, always been there for your Auntie Ula and now her own kids.” Jelly pet Mana’s head. “Ula, how about you take him outside? Your dad prepared some squid for him.”

“Sounds good.” Ula nodded before standing up, still making sure that she had a hold on Mana so that he wouldn’t jump Damian again. “I’ll talk to you later Damian, I hope you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Thanks.” he replied as Ula made her way out, leaving Damian alone with Jelly who was setting down a few things she had brought over. He noticed that it was a few plates that she had perfectly balanced over her arms, but she also had been carrying a box that aided her in bringing everything to the table.

“I brought some of the food from the grill as well as desserts. There’s a cheeseburger, hot dogs, some cake and cookies. Before you eat those, eat the other things, there’s also fries that I made earlier so they should still be at a decent warmth. You’re not vegetarian or anything, right? No allergies? I know I should have asked earlier.” Jelly stopped herself before Damian shook his head. “Oh, that’s perfect. However, Damian, if there’s anything you don’t like, you can just leave it here and I’ll come back later to pick it up.”

“Okay.”

“Also, I didn’t know what you wanted to drink. Is there anything in particular you’d like? We have extra soda cans stored in the fridge as well as lemonade.”

“Some soda would be alright.”

“Got it.” Jelly nodded before opening the fridge and taking out at least three cans of soda. “You can have more than one if you want. I’m not sure if you’re like your brother who has had quite the few already.”

“Felix tends to go a bit overboard with food.”

“I noticed, he’s just like your cousin Rowan. Those two immediately clicked.” Jelly gave a chuckle before giving a sigh, excitement having gotten to her just at the sight of Damian. “If I’m being too overwhelming, or anyone is, you just make sure to tell us, okay?”

Damian stared at her for a moment before softly shaking his head, his gaze remaining down before his eyes trailed on over to the box Jelly brought with her. This was when he realized that it was perfectly wrapped in a paper that had teal waves on it. To finish it all off was a shiny, golden ribbon and bow that almost glistened under the kitchen light.

“I didn’t want to give it to you with everyone all over you, it does get uncomfortable when all eyes are on you.” Jelly ran her fingernails over the gift, eventually scooting it closer towards Damian who now looked up at her. “You open it when you’re ready, it’s just one of the welcoming gifts I got for you and your siblings. They have their own now, Felix just couldn’t help but rip the box to shreds.”

“I can imagine.” Damian breathed out, carefully reaching out to grab a hold of the box that was slightly heavy, and he gave it a slight shake as he wondered what was inside. “Um, thank you, again.”

“No need to thank me.” Jelly reassured him with one last soft smile before she made her way out of the kitchen again, making sure to close the pet-proof fence Damian just noticed in the doorway. That was something that was clearly needed often after Damian and his siblings learned that this home also happened to be an animal sanctuary of sorts.`

After making sure that he was completely alone, Damian once again shook the gift box before setting it down in front of him. He slowly began to peel back at the wrapping to then see a cardboard box he began to open once finding the appropriate spot.

The box was a bit heavy indeed, and Damian could now see why. There were a plethora of gifts inside the box, each one individually wrapped up as well. He decided to go for the biggest one first, tearing away at the shiny paper before his eyes widened.

On the box Damian read the words “NINTENDO SWITCH”, the boy not being able to resist a slowly forming smile as he realized this really was being given to him. He had to stare at it for a good while, almost not believing that he was actually holding this device in front of him. This couldn’t be a joke.\

Damian carefully peeled off the tape to then open the device’s box, realizing that it indeed was there along with everything that came with it.

He remembered that there were other gifts yet to unwrap, so he began to do just that.

“Protective case, backpack, game case, stand, rubber grips, earbuds...this is insane.” Damian looked over everything before coming to the last of the gifts, a rather thin and rectangular box that was very light. Once the wrapping had been ripped off, he blinked a few times as he read the title of what he knew was a game in his hand. “Animal Crossing?”

A game where he could create almost anything he wanted...he could grow all the flowers he ever wanted and not a single one would die on him. Oh god...this was perfect.

“I see that smile.~”

Damian slightly jumped at the sound of a voice, gaze now on the doorway as the little door opened up to reveal a girl not much taller than it. She looked a lot like that one man he’d met before, Schrader. 

She had long, black hair as well as hazel eyes that sparkled under the kitchen light. Skin slightly darker than her fathers that was tinted by rosy blush on her cheeks, no doubt something she always had.

“Hee hee, sorry if I spooked you.” she giggled to herself before giving a curtsy that took Damian by surprise. “You might have seen me earlier but I was busy with my sister. She’s the one with dark brown hair and blonde streaks. She can be shy at times so I try to help her out with people.”

“I noticed.” Damian blinked at her, finally snapping out of it before the corners of his lips ever so slightly curled up as he recognized the sweet gesture.

“You’re Damian, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s a nice name, I like it a lot.” Flora continued to smile as she made her way into the kitchen, Damian now taking notice of the two baskets she had with her. “I have something for you Damian!”

“Is that so?” Damian looked over the baskets as he saw that one was smaller than the other.

“Yeah!” 

“Oh.” Damian blinked once, somewhat expecting this to be some joke. “R-Really?”

“Uh huh.” she nodded before making her way to Damian, standing beside his chair to present him with the larger basket that he eyed. “I brought lots of cookies! My mommy likes to make toooons of different types of cookies. And we made some candy apples, some are chocolate-covered, some have actual caramel and stuff. Also, my mommy runs two cafes, though one is more of a tea shop, so she also let me put in some of the drink stuff she makes; you can make your own tea! And then, and then...oh...I’m rambling. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” Damian soothed the back of his neck as he felt himself flustered,it was a surprise to get gifts...especially this many thoughtful ones. The large basket was placed on the table beside all of Damian’s gifts as he tried to ignore his flustered state.

“No, no. I need to calm down, I don’t want to get as hyper as my brother Rowan. He can be a bit much at times.”

“Yeah?”

“Oh yeah, I live with him.” Flora playfully rolled her eyes before giggling to herself. “Hey, you wanna know a fun fact?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Rowan and Basil are twins. Just like Willow is my twin!”

“That’s cool.” Damian nodded. “Not identical ones of course.”

“Nope!” Flora laughed as Damian continued to nod, slowly coming to a stop as he realized...these girls and boys had different fathers. Both married to the same woman who was their mother but...they were twins...how was such a thing possible. “It might sound weird, but we’re twins for sure. It’s a thingy called superfecundation I think? It’s real, I swear.”

Damian had to process everything for a moment, eventually wagging his head before paying attention back to Flora who continued to smile up at him.

“Hey Damian?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you mind if I sit next to you?” Flora pointed to the chair beside Damian with a hand he realized was gloved. “It’s okay if you don’t want me to.”

“I…” Damian straightened up in his chair, packing up all the gifts back into the box they had been placed in. “Go ahead, I don’t mind.”

Flora’s smile widened at his response before she placed her smaller basket on the table, pulling out the chair before her short frame climbed onto it. She adjusted the poofy dress she wore until she was comfortable, smoothing out the fabric on her lap before she went back to grabbing the basket she had set down, grinning as she stared at Damian.

“I also wanted to introduce you to my friend.”

“Friend?”

“Uh huh.” Flora nodded before scooting the basket towards Damian, allowing him to peek inside as he saw a bundle of vines and plant tendrils. “This is my friend Twoey. They never leave my side.”

“Twoey? Like, from Little Shop of Horrors?” Damian brought a hand up, motioning with his finger to the plant as Flora nodded in excitement.

“Yes! I’m so glad you caught onto that.” she softly caressed one of the tendrils that was draped over the basket. “I love that movie a lot, I like both of the endings. How about you?”

“I enjoy them both.” he tilted his head in thought. “The happy ending is pretty nice, though the cycle will no doubt start again because of the baby plant. The bad one seems a bit more realistic honestly, capitalism causing all that disaster.”

“Oooh definitely!” Flora continued to stroke the plant. “But yeah, this is Twoey. Twoey, say hi to Damian.”

Damian looked down at the plant, not expecting any sort of movement from it, so he wasn’t surprised when he saw no kind of motion as tendrils merely hung loose around the basket’s edges.

“Hi Twoey.” he actually smiled, carefully grabbing the tip of a tendril to shake it like he would a hand. “My name’s Damian. You look very lovely and green.”

Flora watched the interaction, having to stifle a giggle before she spoke up.

“They appreciate the compliments.” she gently pet another one of the tendrils. “So...do you have a favorite song from the movie?”

“Hm?”

“From Little Shop of Horrors. Is there any particular song you might really like?”

“Oh...there’s the dentist one...and the one that Twoey sings before eating Mr. Mushnik.”

“Suppertime is a good one, and Dentist is very funny.”

“Do you have any you like?” now Damian asked, catching Flora off-guard, smiling nonetheless.

“I like Mean, Green Mother From Outer Space. Also Somewhere That’s Green.”

“Is that when Audrey sings about her and Seymour?”

“Yes, I think it’s very sweet.” Flora shrugged as she set her basket aside, noticing the food that Jelly had left earlier. “Have you eaten yet?”

“Not really. I was focused on opening these gifts.”

“Ooooh! Did you also get Animal Crossing?” Flora peeked up at Damian’s gift box as he nodded, taking out the gamebox of said game.

“I’m excited to play this.”

“I’m excited to add your friend code! I can give you so many flowers if you want! I have so, so many on my island, even the hybrid ones.”

“I would actually like that.” Damian smiled a bit more. “Do you like to garden?”

“Of course! It’s probably all I do. Okay, well, maybe not. Maybe yes.” Flora shrugged. “I really, really love plants. How about you?”

“I love them, I also like to garden.” 

“Do you happen to have a favorite plant?”

“I like...white egrets…”

“Those are so lovely!” Flora quietly clapped her hands so as to not create a ruckus. “Maybe we could grow some of those together one day, I know my mommy has plenty of supplies for those. If you’re okay with that stuff.”

There was a new silence between the pair as Flora smiled up at Damian, grinning before she brought a finger up to her chin to tap it.

“Do you happen to have any favorite movies Damian?” she questioned. “Is Little Shop of Horrors one of them?”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Damian replied as he pondered at the question. “I guess Halloween is another one. And...well, nevermind.”

“No, no. It’s okay, you don’t have to be shy.” Flora reassured him. “I’m not here to judge.”

“Well, I also do like the movie Anastasia.”

“That’s a very nice one.”

“Yeah...do you have a favorite movie?”

“Besides Little Shop of Horrors…” Flora tapped a finger on her chin, then shrugging. “I don’t really know!”

“Okay, I can understand. Picking out movies can be a little hard.” Damian nodded as he shifted in his seat, already feeling a bit more comfortable as he thought to himself. “Do you have a favorite animal?”

“Elephants! I love elephants!” Flora practically slammed her fists on the table before realizing how hyped she was getting, then clearing her throat before she smoothed out any possible wrinkles from her puffy skirt. “I really like elephants, they’re so cute. How about you? Do you have a favorite?”

“Raccoons.”

“Raccoons are so cute too! We have a pet raccoon.”

Damian made a bit of a surprised face at the sound of this, blinking for a moment as Flora giggled to herself. 

“Well, we don’t. But my great-great grandpa does, it was my great-great grandma’s raccoon. His name is Nikolai.”

“Wait, wait…” Damian held a hand up as he processed the addition to Flora’s words. “Great...great grandpa? Is he alive?”

“Yeah!”

“How...how old is he?”

“Ooooh...I’m not really sure.” Flora shrugged with a smile. “But my mama Jelly told me that it’s rude to ask about someone’s age, so I never try to find out. She does get upset if somebody asks her that.”

“She does look pretty young for being a grandma to this many kids.”

“Oh yeah, mama Jelly is so beautiful. She’s like the queen of the sea.” Flora fawned at the thought of Jelly, clearly an idol of hers. “But anyways! What’s your favorite color? Do you have a least favorite?”

“Oh. I like green. I’m not big on navy blue specifically.”

“Green is so lovely, it’s also my favorite...our family really loves green, my daddies like to wear it often while my mommy loves wearing teal. Do you have any favorite desserts?”

“Hm, dulce de leche ice cream is one. I enjoy crepes and funnel cake too.” Damian answered before making a bit of a face. “I’m not a fan of yogurt though.”

“That’s understandable.” Flora nodded before a grin came across her face. “But hey! Speaking of crepes and funnel cakes, do you like carnivals?”

“I love carnivals.” Damian gave a soft nod. “I don’t mean to brag, but I haven’t lost a carnival game since I was 8.”

“Whoa, really?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so cool! You should come to my daddy’s carnival!”

“Your dad owns a carnival?”

“Yeah! It’s horror themed, so many people are pretty scared of it.”

“That’s pretty cool. I’d totally go if there were no actors touching me.”

“Hee hee, well…” Flora glanced to the side for a moment. “There is a section where the actors can interact with you more...but for some reason, every time I go, they never scare me too much. I don’t understand why.”

“That’s...scary.”

“It’s especially scarier with all the music they put, my daddy writes most of it. He’s very musical.”

“What’s he play?”

“Almost any instrument you can name.” Flora stated in a proud manner. “In fact, my mommy is also musical. They two used to be in a band together, she was the lead singer.”

“What?”

“Yeah, yeah! It was called Cin-O-Surre. It consisted of them and three of my uncles. They were sooo cool, I wish they were still a band.”

“Like, a band-band?”

“Yup.”

“Wow...did they ever make it big? What’d they play? Wait, were they big enough to go on tours?”

“They could have been more famous but they all agreed that they never wanted to do that sort of stuff. They preferred to play in small places, do small performances, only do big events if it was to help someone out.” Flora now held a cell-phone in her hand, no doubt hers with how cute-sy it was accessorized. “They would play emo stuff, rock I think? I heard my mommy also developed a ‘heavy-metal- voice after a while and they tried that out, but that’s a legend hehe.”

“My kind of music.” Damian peered down at the phone that Flora now handed to him, having found old pictures in old posts, no doubt from years before even Damian was born. “Is this them?”

“Uh huh!” Flora let Damian scroll through the pictures of Flora’s parents at a much younger age, so different yet so...the same. They looked exactly as they did now. Just less adolescent. Flora’s no doubt had a big change in style, looking like a goth in some pictures or the typical teenage girl to...dressing in a much more sophisticated style. Minus the facial piercings, but those weren’t anything bad of course.

“Wow. This is interesting.” Damian handed the phone back to Flora. “So...why’d they disband?”

“I actually don’t know...I’d have to ask my parents. My deer dad might know too, he was never really part of the band but he was always there.” Flora put her phone away as she thought to herself for a moment, then pushing those thoughts away. “Now my daddy owns a carnival, my deer dad owns a bookshop, and my mommy owns a cafe but also does painting in her free time. I have seen her post singing videos every now and then though, people do definitely miss her.”

“She paints?”

“Yes! If you ever see a really cool and pretty painting somewhere around here, it was most likely her who did it. She and my mama Jelly really love to paint. I’ve been learning. How about you?”

“Me?”

“Yes, do you like painting?”

“I do actually. Just like gardening, and I like to play video games.”

“I think you’d get along with Basil, those are basically some of his favorite hobbies too.” Flora clasped her hands together as she hoped for another friend for her brother. It wasn’t until she realized that Damian’s eyes avoided hers that she realized that maybe this wasn’t one of those cases after all. In fact, not even that was necessary to know how Damian was feeling about her brother, he wouldn’t be the first to react in such a way.

“Damian?” she called his attention before he looked back at her, offering a soft smile in an attempt to comfort him. “What do you think of our family so far?”

“Your parents are nice...I like them all.” Damian shared as he clasped his hands together on the table, fiddling a bit with his thumbs. “Your mom’s really sweet, she makes me feel very calm. So does Atlas...why do you call him deer dad?”

“Because he really likes deer.”

“Ah, I see. But yeah, I guess they’re cool.”

“What do you think of my daddy?”

“He seems awesome. Especially with what I’ve heard about him. He looks cool, acts cool. I like talking to him...that’s somebody I’d look up to.”

“He really is awesome.” Flora agreed, thinking of very many things Schrader had done that perhaps Damian would learn of some day. “What about Uncle Davey and Aunt Ally?”

“I like Davey, he seems cool too. Is he...a pirate? He seems to really like pirates?”

“If only you knew about his pirate ship.~”

“So he is.”

“I guess so.”

“He makes me a bit anxious...he looks very…”

“Grumpy?”

“Yes?”

“Uncle Davey isn’t grumpy, but he kinda is. He was such a grumpy baby and then child from what mommy has told me. He usually looked so grumpy that they called him the Scrunched Creature.”

“Oh gosh.” Damian quietly laughed at that. “I hope there’s some picture of that.”

“I could always ask my mommy, she has so many pictures of her siblings. She still calls my uncle her baby brother hee hee.” Flora snickered at the thought of it, even the times when her mother managed to carry her uncle like a child. Golly how embarrassing that must feel like. “How do you feel about Aunt Ally? I know you haven’t properly met Finnian and Celeste, but that can always wait.”

“She’s clearly very sweet. I like her macaroons, they look so detailed.”

“She hopes to sell some one day, she has done it and lots of people have purchased them! She’s just not too confident she could make a business boom. I think she could though.”

“They are tasty treats.” Damian nodded in agreement before letting Flora continue.

“How do you feel about my brothers and my sister Willow?”

“Willow is...so sweet and kind...I don’t think I’ve ever met such a good child besides my sister.”  Damian commented as he remembered the shy twin of the two. “She’s almost so...fragile. She’s Atlas’ daughter, right?”

“Yes. Just like Rowan and baby Dahlia are, but you haven’t met her yet.” Flora used her fingers to count, having lifted three fingers for now before more lifted as she counted more names. “Meanwhile, Basil, me and Frankie are Schrader’s, but we all share the same mommy.”

“Okay…”

“Anyways, how do you feel about Rowan?”

“He’s...um, not my type exactly, he’s more suited for someone like Felix. Heck, they’re perfect for each other.” Damian widened his eyes for a moment. “It’s nice seeing someone closer to Felix’s age bonding with him, they just immediately clicked.”

“I can see them having so much fun.” Flora gave a nod before her smile slightly faltered. “And...how do you feel about Basil?”

“Basil?” Damian turned to her, releasing a sigh after a moment of silence. “Well...he’s, uh...he’s...he’s family…?”

“Good try.”

“Thanks.”

“But really, how do you feel about him?” Flora questioned, hoping that she wasn’t prying. “I know some people tend to be scared of him upon first meeting. He’s actually a nice person...I know it doesn’t seem that way, but he is nice. You would never expect him to hang out with someone like Rowan, but they’re twins! They’re always together. He can be nice after a while.”

“Basil...does scare me a little.” Damian’s voice quieted down before he leaned in closer towards Flora, feeling the need to whisper. “Is it true he carries around a knife?”

“...yes.” Flora also leaned in to whisper, making sure to wave her hand a bit. “But it’s only for like...self-defense. He’s not allowed to use it unless it’s necessary. My mommy doesn’t allow it.”

“That’s...ha...got it.” Damian nervously chuckled to himself, ready to lean back before Flora motioned for him to stay close.

“You wanna know something funny about Basil?”

“Sure…”

“He’s a mama’s boy. Ever since he was born.”

“Really?” Damian breathed out before Flora nodded with a smile, this in turn making him give a slight chuckle.

“Yup! You can ask anyone and they’ll confirm it.”Flora quietly giggled as she sensed a part of Damian’s nervousness slightly leaving him, but it was still a good amount that would clearly not be disappearing any time soon. “When he was a baby, he had a costume of Audrey II. It was one of his favorite things to wear so that he could get her attention.”

“That is funny.”

“Yeah.” Flora gave a nod before continuing on with her previous questions. “How do you feel about my Auntie Cordie? I assume you like her, right?”

“Oh, Cordelia?” Damian started as Flora gave another nod. “I honestly can respect her. I didn’t care too much when I talked to her the first time, until she mentioned that she wanted to adopt all three of us. It’s a really good thing what she did.”

“Family sticks together.” Flora added in before Damian softly nodded.

“Yeah, that’s what she said.” he slightly smiled. “She said she didn’t want us separated...who knows what would have happened if that ever came to be.”

It took Damian a moment to speak again, having to rub his eyes as he sighed to himself.

“I’m really glad that she took all of us in, that it was her initial plan and we all kinda got along with her. I don’t know how she did it, but it’s greatly appreciated.”

“She was able to do it with the help of our family.” Flora mentioned with a tiny giggle. “Mama Jelly is a rather...popular person around here, so is the rest of the family. I think she might have helped my Auntie Cordie. But then again, how could a place like that ever say no to such a cool family?”

“Yeah, I wonder.” Damian made a bit of a face. “But like I said...I’m glad we’re all here and not in that place anymore.”

“Well Damian,” Flora gently took one of Damian’s hands into her own, giving him a soft smile. “I’m glad you guys are here.”

[penniesforthestorm]

First Reformed (2018)

“Even Jesus was not always in the Garden.”

There are a number of ways I could write about First Reformed, the latest film from Paul Schrader, which stars Ethan Hawke as the pastor of a sparsely-attended church in upstate New York. From the previews, and the surrounding buzz, I got the idea that it resembled Ingmar Bergman’s Winter Light, one of my all-time favorite movies about faith and doubt. As it turns out, the two films do resonate with each other in interesting ways, but First Reformed is thoroughly its own story. It’s also a deeply frustrating work, that’s perhaps more fascinating for its flaws than its numerous successes.

Let’s talk about the good stuff first, though, because I want to make it very clear that I didn’t dislike this movie. In fact, I want to watch it again. (And since I haven’t watched Winter Light in a while, perhaps someday I’ll do a double feature...) So. First of all, this movie is beautiful to look at. The titular church is a marvel of Dutch Colonial style, with its white steeple and gracefully austere interior-- dark wooden pews, discreet stained glass, walls painted pale blue. Characters are often framed in interesting ways: in mirrors, through doorways, and shot from behind. The film is set in the true ‘bleak midwinter’-- that seemingly endless stretch of January and February (how is it that the shortest month of the year always feels so long?) when the skies are grey and the trees are bare and the snow has settled into a muddy crust.

Secondly, there are the performances. Ethan Hawke is magnificent as the soft-spoken, introspective Reverend Ernst Toller. The reverend is a deeply unhappy man-- he has suffered the loss of his son and his wife, and the slow decline of his health, not to mention his congregation. And yet, unlike the embittered Pastor Frovik in Winter Light, Toller has not cut himself off entirely. When a young, pregnant parishioner (Amanda Seyfried) asks if he will counsel her troubled husband, he approaches the task with genuine care. At the nearby megachurch, when a teenage girl shares her frustration over her father’s lost job and unanswered prayers, Rev. Toller admonishes her that Jesus’ teachings did not come wrapped in dollar signs and the American flag, but he says it kindly. Some of the best scenes in the film are Toller’s interactions with the leader of the megachurch, the jovial Pastor Jeffers (Cedric Kyles, a.k.a. Cedric the Entertainer). Despite a certain degree of mutual skepticism toward each others’ methods, there is also a mutual respect. Jeffers is effusive, even goofy, but his efforts to reach the increasingly frustrated (and, it must be said, frustrating) Toller are sincere.

It’s Seyfried’s character, Mary, that spurs the action of the film’s first half. Her husband Michael (Philip Ettinger) was an activist for a Greenpeace-like environmental organization, until his recent incarceration. Now, he works a temp job at Home Depot, and spends the rest of his time isolating himself at home. He is not particularly religious, but has agreed to speak to Reverend Toller, perhaps sensing that this quiet man is no stranger to ‘dark nights of the soul’. So Toller meets with him, and in their earnest discussion, the sparks that will fuel the rest of the film are lit. Only a few days later, Toller finds Michael in the woods, dead from a self-inflicted gunshot, and a flame begins to burn inside of him-- a flame propelled equally by anger and guilt. Toller’s deceased son was a field chaplain in Iraq, who enlisted at his father’s insistence, and it’s not hard to connect the two young men.

This is where I think First Reformed runs into a problem. It shows Reverend Toller diving into environmentalism, looking up online conspiracy videos at the dead hour of night and holding Michael’s memorial at a nearby toxic-waste site, but the cause feels almost arbitrary. Which would be a solid narrative choice-- as stated above, Toller’s crisis has been brewing for a long time, and would doubtless be pushed to the edge by almost anything. But the film doesn’t quite commit to either Toller the newly-radical convert or Toller the depressed agnostic going through the motions. There are several scenes that seem to settle at a natural resolution and then they just... keep going...occasionally veering into outright silliness.

So what are we left with? It’s not that I don’t want people to watch this film, or that I don’t think it’s worthy of the buzz it’s gotten. If that were the case, I wouldn’t be writing about it. It raises a lot of interesting points about the nature of faith, of a particularly Protestant variety. I was raised in the Lutheran church, and my constant re-evaluation of my own beliefs draws me inevitably toward stories that present an earnest, clear-eyed examination of Christianity in modern society. I wanted to love First Reformed, and for the first half, I was with it completely. It approaches greatness, even in the messy final act, but it just doesn’t stick the landing. Toller says that wisdom is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas in our minds at the same time, and I don’t disagree, nor do I dislike narrative ambiguity, but it doesn’t feel earned here. It feels like a choice that was made to avoid making other choices, and that bothered me. But still: go see it, and maybe you’ll see something that I missed.