#but even those domains with few soldiers are able to deal with this idiot

[darklordazalin]

Azalin Reviews: 'Darklord' Vlad Drakov

Domain: Falkovnia Domain Formation: 690 BC Power Level: ⚫⚫⚫⚫⚫ 0/5 Skulls Sources: Domains of Dread (23); Domains and Denizens (2e), Ravenloft Gazetteer II (3e); Secrets of the Dread Realms (3e)

Ah, Vlad Drakov, the impaling loving little hireling Darklord of Falkovnia. Falkovnia is a land of rolling lowlands, fertile fields, and lush forests...All these resources are the only reason any other Domain in the Core puts up with this miserable failure, never-was conqueror.

Though the story changes slightly from pre and post Grand Conjunction days, Vlad was originally from the Kingdom of Thenol in the realm of Talades. Not Oerth, so clearly unimportant. Vlad and his little band of ruffians, who called themselves the Talons of the Hawk, were mercenaries. Vlad being the “Hawk” and the rest of his band of brutality being the “Talons”. Vlad doesn’t have a lot going for him, but he managed to scrape up enough charm to convince these Talons of his to do whatever he asked of them, which mostly amounted to them brutally slaughtering people for coin and Vlad impaling captives and watching them slowly die while he took on his evening meal.

Eventually, these hirelings wandered into the Mists and found themselves in the southlands of Darkon. Believing he discovered a new land, Vlad set about slaughtering my people. This did not work out the way he thought it would as his murders only gave me more weapons to work with. I sent the newly fallen and many of the old against him and his men. They fled, like the cowards they are, into the Mists.

Our ever present Tormentors thought it fit to gift Vlad with the Domain of Falkovnia then. Oh there’s some nonsensical “history” about Vlad overthrowing a “wizard king” known as the “Falcon the Great” before he settled in Castle Draccipetri and became the leader of the realm, but I place little validity on that story. Vlad couldn’t overthrow an army of ants let alone a powerful wizard king. Castle Draccipetri stands in the middle of an island on the Lukar River, a single, narrow bridge the only entryway, making it easy to defend, which matters little as no one would bother to send forces against him in the first place. The victory would be too easy.

The hireling was always looked down upon by the mighty lords and leaders that needed his brutality to win their wars and he desired nothing more than to be their equal and earn their respect. He was granted a position of rulership by our Tormentors, but the rulers of the other Domains will never respect him if they even notice him. He is akin to a fly; annoying yet easily swatted away.

Vlad tries to conquer the Domains that surround his, yet fails at every attempt. He has his heart set on Darkon, my Domain being vastly superior and richer than his own. I have lost track of the number of times the little hawk as attemppted to graps my lands in his talons, only to be swatted away by a horde of zombies. These failed attempts are barely worth the effort of a moment's work it takes for me to utterly destroy his forces. But some men do not recognize the futility of their own actions. Vlad also fails to understand where he is and why he is haunted by unsuccessful campaigns...well, besides the fact that he is always overreaching.  King of the Dead here, stop sending your soldiers into my Domain and adding to my side of an utterly pointless fight.

Failing conquest and gaining the respect of his fellow lords, Darkov has little pleasure in life except impaling his victims and watching them slowly die. He also is quite fond of “hawking” and treats his hawks better than any of his mortal companions. He takes out his frustration on his people with oppressive and extensive laws, making life in Falkovnia about as meaningless and futile as Darkov’s campaigns against Darkon.

Vlad is a fearsome warrior, but given his curse is to never know victory or respect, I will award him zero skulls. Good day sir!