#but every time my (presumably) paranoid theory CONFIRMS I get a VERY strong burst of insanity
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#no context#personal#fandomry rambles#okay my theory got confirmed:#even people that hate me and have me blocked can get inspiration from my posts#there already were 4 very clear clues from another user but today I saw something so-#-blantant that it was worthy of all previous 4 coincidences at once#like I am honoured to still live in the walls of the fandom and help creativity despite being in permanent art block myself sure#but every time my (presumably) paranoid theory CONFIRMS I get a VERY strong burst of insanity#like.. every single time I settle with the fact that 'I am just imagining things' I turn out being right#it is a very mixed feeling#like I am glad that even people that keep the distance because they hate/fear me can find a use of me#but if my kinda 'drastic' assumptions KEEP getting confirmed I will never recover from my paranoia#I will never escape the cycle that feeds itself will I hahah#I am not going to make it through this autumn! if my sanity gets LOWER I'll learn how to teleport through the mirrors lmao xd
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