#but given i am a thinker this is making me go crazy tbh

[delusionalblfan]

what got me the most in the 10th episode (apart from the Alan x Dean scene that i was not expecting and was phenomenal) was Babe kissing Charlie's forehead. i had to stop watching to have my moment and to just breathe and give me time to cry. when Babe kissed him it was a moment of pure and raw pain, no more loud crying, or screaming, but a silent cry filled with care and love and deep engraved-for-life pain. and i feel like the kiss on the lips was the first impact, Babe's need to touch him, to see if Charlie reacted and was really dead, but those three kisses on the forehead. for the love of!! the care mixed with all that hurt and loss. Babe is so hurt by Charlie's death as it's expected but it's more than 'i lost him' or 'he is dead'. it was much more like 'he did not deserve this'. but not a cliche. it was like a film passing through: 'this man was treated as a nobody because a lunatic thought he was a normal alpha, hence 'unusable'...he could try to live a rather normal life but he knew i was in danger and i would be used…so he left that idea of a normal life behind and risked it all for me…he really entered my life with that sole propose...he lied willingly but also solely for my own good...he did not make fake excuses based on self pity...he ended up being part of my found family and he was a good person to all of them even for the one that was constantly criticising him...he loved me more than he loved himself…and now he is dead…he did not deserve this'. when you know the extent of someone's life, choices, willingness, that last statement will have a much bigger impact. and Charlie embodied that. so… my question is, how can Babe be sane right now? how is he even walking? talking? eating? i would be so depressed to the point of manifesting psychotic traits. i wouldn't have the courage to unalive myself, but i would just let my body be still and exist quietly somewhere while rewinding memories and regrets and untold words and just speaking to him and apologising and saying how much i love him, and i would do it until i perished

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 13 - “So its been a dayyyyyyy Jayyyyyyy” - Jack

Timmy

How in the fuck am I still here?!?! I'm overjoyed and this is incredible. Tbh Jack totally just fucked his game but this is so good for me, even if I get out at 6, I still made it a little further than I thought I would've. Also, Raffy really popped the fuck off and it was so funny to watch. I'm just in a really good mood right now.

Maynor

I cant believe idol play was amazing but it wasnt needed. Sjdbsb it was 4-3 for Jack to go is crazy. And im so happy that Timmy stayed in the game. I dont want to play the game without him. So im super happy that he’s still in. We need to win this immunity and keep it away from zoe and Raffy. We need those options open. And also try n keep the idol away from them.

Raffy

Last night was a wild trip. Firstly, I cannot believe Ellie would betray us like that when Maynor is still in this fucking game. No one, except me, seems to think that he's going to win if we keep letting him have control of the game. It's as if I am in a game with a bunch of sheep where I am the only free thinker. This applies to Jack too since he voted out Ellie instead of Timmy in the revote. Like imagine keeping Timmy in this game when he has done so much!!! Like we just keep letting them get away with things and we just keep letting them have control of the game. I'm sick of it!!! I can only trust Zoe now since apparently everyone else is too brain dead to see the obvious threats in this game. I pretended to be fake mad to Jack in order to keep him on our side. I told him that my aggression was a ploy to make them think that he's on their side. I mean I was real mad, but he doesn't need to know that. I don't know whether the lie worked or not, but I just need to find an idol or win immunity because I am sick of Maynor and Timmy being like cockroaches in the nuclear fallout. Like??????? And don't get me started on the goat Joseph who doesn't even know how to talk to people properly. All of them can go fuck off for all I care. 

Raffy

Well I didn't find the idol, and I know that Jack is on the other path with that BS rotating puzzle. So, tomorrow I'll be doing the tundra and hopefully find it before anyone else, otherwise my time in this game is running out. I don't know how well I will do with the immunity challenge, but I have to be confident to do well. I'm praying that Zoe found something because we desperately need it if onyl to prevent Maynor from having it.  

Raffy

Also this is the mood for the rest of the game for John and Ellie and maybe Zoe if she doesn't make it to FTC with me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0U_Cdrbols

Timmy

Raffy is so fucking smug. He laughed whenever someone messed up in the challenge and basically almost cackled when Maynor and I got it. Like don’t fucking kick me when I’m down. 6th is my Achilles heel and I’m already freaking out. 

Jack

So its been a dayyyyyyy Jayyyyyyy. First Zoe comes in here like, "hey my idol still works" so my and raffy and zoe are like okayyyy we have to freaking one of us get immunity so its at least 2/3 and then zoe wins, and then moments later i finished the HELL PUZZLE WITH THE POINTY IDENTICAL LOOKING PIECES AND BACKGROUND and whoops i found the idol, so theoretically the three of us are like 3/3 safe and can vote out maynor. He's a sweet guy but like yeet. Raffy might be in trouble if zoe like wigs out and doesnt use the idol on him/ was like totally bullshitting about it? but i hope she aint cause yeah

Raffy

I'm glad that Zoe won the immunity challenge because it keeps safety away from both Maynor and Timmy. I wanted to win it, but I am proud that Zoe was able to either way. Her idol will be extremely useful going into this next round as we are planning to use it on me in order to make sure that 2/3 of us are safe tonight. Additionally, if the votes ends up tying 3-3, we can make sure that Jack is safe by revoting and keeping him in this game. Although, I doubt it has to come to that because Jack has also found an idol from the rehidden hunt. This means that all three of us will be safe going into this next tribal council unless they have an idol nullifier. Even then they still can only nullify one which means we're still the dominating force. Basically all is looking on the bright side for Raffy in this vote, and I hope things go smoothly in spite of my confidence.

Jack

I don't remember if I already made a confessional on this, but i found an idol, so now Zoe has immunity, she's gonna play her idol on Raffy, and imma play mine on me. Timmy's been hitting me and Zoe up about flipping on Raffy but we ain't doin thatttttt. Also Joseph was like "what happened in the challenge," and then was like what you thinkinnnnnnn. Maynor in general is like kinda accepted fate vibes. Hopefully everything goes well tonight.

Timmy

I’m distraught and upset. I guess it’s pretty much guaranteed that either myself or Maynor will be leaving tomorrow. I’m so sad and he deserves to stay so much and deserves to win and if he stays, I will not regret anything I did in this game. I want him to be happy and I know he belongs in this game and seeing him happy makes me so happy. 

Raffy

The plan right now is for Zoe to use her idol on me and for Jack to use his idol on himself so that we are all safe at tribal council tonight. My FTC plan right now is Zoe, Joseph, and I. I love Jack, but he needs to go because I feel like he beats me at the end. He has an amazing redemption arc, and he has pulled off so many things in his short time here without many social connections. That's pretty impressive. However, I want to take him out at F5 or F4 because I still need him on my side. My boot order currently is Maynor -> Timmy -> Jack. However, Jack is also good at challenges which means I have to pry the immunity necklace from his hands. I know I can beat him. I just have to go out there and do it. 

Maynor

Tonight might be my last night in the game and its bittersweet. I feel like i played a good game. I also feel like i was given credit for the moves Ive made. I am very proud of myself, and usually im always very hard on myself. I feel like this was my most out there game play ive had and im still very in aw that i was able to pull off a 4-3-3, vote 3-2-2 vote, able to flip Jack to vote Ellie saving Timmy, found an idol and many things. This has been a favorite game even though i might be out tonight. Like they know Ive played hard and i kept fighting to stay in this game. Tribal is going to be 3-3. We are voting jack (me timmy joseph) and (zoe raffy jack) are most likely voting for me once again. I hope. Jack has the idol cuz he did the trees path were i knew it was going to be at but my dumbass decided to do mountain instead. Jack is either going to use his idol on Raffy to try n avoid a tie or of jack plays it on himself and he negates all his votes. Either way. We are going to lose someone and they arent. So whatever happens tonight i will be content with cuz ive done everything that i could to try and survive. ❤️ Jay for having me back. Youre the best. Love you. ❤️

Maynor

My thoughts on 5 of the Final 6 people in the game: 1. Jack- oh the second boot. Was very paranoid early of this game and its understandable. Did good in EOE and returned to the game. Seemed to fall into place to Raffy’s side by not even talking to me or people who were working with me. Made his own ‘move’ by doing Ellie during F7 vote. But honestly it was not a good move for him. Even though I preached Jack has his own story. Honestly, he is still kind of a goat. No one would vote for him to win over others left in the game. Going to the end with Zoe and Raffy is his death sentence but going also everyone else in the game is his death sentence. 2. Joseph- people are saying he is a goat but that is not necessarily true. He has made moves in this game to help his position in it. He took the opportunity at f10 to make a move. Again with John vote. Dylan vote as well. Same with Jack that turned to Ellie vote off. The moves he has made were to help him make it to the end. People are underestimating his game play and if he makes it to the end then he really deserves to win it. Especially over like Jack. Also Raffy and Zoe tbh. 👀 MaynorPart 2: 3. Zoe- Zoe is a good player. But gameplay this season, i dont think she deserves the win. She was already voted out. All her strategic moves did not go according to plan. Was over confident and cocky and comfortable in the game. Wasnt going to make it to the final 7 anyways because her allies Raffy and Dylan were going to take her out. Her game play after making it back into the game due to eoe has made her into a goat. Like if someone votes for her to win its due to them being bitter over everyone else. She didnt try to make connections with everyone. She went right back to the people she was working with. And you can feel the ooze of over confidence when she said “im fitting in perfectly” when her as only talked to Raffy and ellie and Jack. So 🤷‍♂️ Honestly social game aint that good either. 4. Raffy- oh boi. Raffy raffy. Were do I start. None of his plans have happened besides the Stephen vote and even that he said it wasnt his move. Gave it to Dylan. So 🤷‍♂️ What moves has he done really? Hes been rude to a few people here and honestly leaves a bad taste in my mouth (game wise) cuz its been more game talk from him. He gets mad when things dont go his way and just starts yelling at people that they made the bad decision. But he still fought in this game. I would gove my vote to him over people like Zoe and Jack. MaynorPart 3: 5. Timmy- can i say how proud i am with Timmy this season. His social game was amazing and strong. He had people wanting to work with him and was in a good spot for a bit. He felt in the bottom and made a move. Since then has been fighting to stay in the game. Got ellie to flip on her alliance. Said Dylan’s name for the target. He played an idol on me instead of himself. He really did all that in this game and he has a big shot to win this game. He just has to reach the final 3. I feel that he can do that. He’s a great person and honestly gunna be sad now going to be able to finish this game with him. Would have been amazing to be able to sit with him at the end of the game. But alas ive made myself into a huge target that no one would want to work with me to get to the end and i understand. It just sucks i wont be able to finish this game with him. But he would be a great winner. And he deserves it with the game he has played. Im wishing him the all the luck and sending him good vibes for the rest of the game. ❤️