Tumgik
#but hey! i am drawing again les go gang
splashyink · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media
The ✨Sillies✨
110 notes · View notes
kissjane · 4 years
Text
DELAYED DATE / Short(ish) fic
#12 from this prompt list.
TW / Mental illness, mention of suicide (but no actual attempt)
We dated in high school but then you moved away but now you’re back in town
“Have you guys heard?”
Basile came running towards them, ten minutes late for the gang’s weekly pizza night. As soon as he was near enough, he came to a skidding halt, bent double, his hands on his knees, his face red and ruddy, taking in gulps of oxygen while he tried to tell them his big news.
“Daphné told me, she heard from Imane, who had it from Sofiane, so that must mean it’s true, because obviously Sofiane would not just make something like that up, would he? Anyway, so Daphné heard it this morning when the girls went all shopping together, and she came over to my place to tell me just as I was about to leave, so that’s why I’m late, sorry about that, guys, have you ordered yet? You remembered to leave off the mushrooms on mine, right? Anyway, so what do you think about it, huh?”
He looked around expectantly.
“Baz, my man,” Arthur said, shaking his head fondly but exasperatedly, “why don’t you sit down first, and then tell us this piece of bombshell gossip Daphné thought was more important than pizza with your friends.”
Basile did as suggested, and then looked around again with aplomb, eager to share his news.
“Eliott is back in town!”
Silence fell, as Yann and Arthur glanced over at Lucas.
“Eliott Demaury?”, Yann asked after a long beat.
“Of course, Eliott Demaury, do we know any other Eliotts?”
Basile was so extraordinarily proud of surprising his friends with his announcement that he completely missed how Lucas suddenly had gone pale.
“We should text him, ask him if he wants to hang out again, like before!”
Lucas noticed how Yann elbowed Basile in the arm while Arthur frantically shook his head, and it made him feel bad. If the boys wanted to hang out with Eliott again, they should be able to. But Yann knew, and Arthur could probably guess, that Lucas would very much prefer not to. But whether Basile tried to set something up or not, chances were Lucas would run into Eliott at some point anyway.
“Yeah, sure,” he therefore said. Better to meet him with Yann there for emotional support, than running into him alone and when he was least expecting it. This way, he could prepare.
But not enough, it turned out, when Basile immediately took out his phone, and before anyone realized what was going on, announced gleefully, “That’s arranged! He’s coming over.”
Lucas choked on his own saliva, and a worried look appeared in Yann’s eyes, but the damage was done, and when a familiar figure walked up a few minutes later, Lucas took a big gulp of air and hoped for the best.
“Hi,” a hesitant voice came, and Lucas had to close his eyes against the memories crashing over him.
Eliott calling him late at night, his voice warm with sleep.
Eliott whispering nonsensical words in Lucas’ hair, against Lucas’ skin.
Eliott breathing out Lucas’ name into Lucas’ mouth, his lips taking on the shapes with Eliott’s.
“Hey,” he crooked, willing himself to act normally, to just greet him like an old friend he hadn’t seen in a while.
And why wouldn’t he? Of course, he had had the biggest crush on Eliott for most of the time they’d known each other, and Eliott had definitely given him the impression it had been reciprocated, until he had just disappeared – but nobody needed to know that.
Only Yann knew the full story – he had confronted Lucas one night, a few weeks after Eliott had left. Lucas had barely left his room for days, not speaking, eating only because Manon forced him. When he finally came back to school, he had been silent, withdrawn, and pale, and he snapped at the boys a couple of times for no reason. And then Yann had shown up, demanding answers, and Lucas had broken down and cried his heart out, telling his best friend about his whirlwind romance with Eliott, and the bitter taste it had left when Eliott had just packed up and left, not answering Lucas’ attempts at communication.
He would have sworn, only this morning, that he was definitely over Eliott Demaury, after three years – although maybe his glaring lack of any boyfriends in that time might suggest otherwise. Oh, sure, he’d kissed the occasional guy here and there, but nothing serious. And now, seeing Eliott, watching his grey eyes shine and his hands gesture wildly, he was forced to admit that the reason nothing ever went further was that he was the farthest thing away from being over him.
Basile was already jumping around Eliott like a young puppy, bouncing up and down, asking him how he was, what was going on, whether he was back for good, where he had been, why he had moved without notifying any of them – all in rapid-fire, without giving the older boy a chance to reply.
Finally, Eliott spoke up.
“It’s not the happiest story, but if you guys are up for it, I would like to tell you all.”
He stared straight at Lucas, and Lucas needed to turn his head, afraid of falling for Eliott all over at the slightest opportunity. He steeled himself not to believe any of his beautiful words this time, not to walk into his trap again.
But Yann nodded solemnly, and Eliott gangly sat down, folding his long limbs and hunching his shoulders.
“So, uh, I am bipolar. I don’t know if you guys know, but it’s a mental disorder…”
A silence fell. They all knew what that meant. Lucas had finally told the gang about his mom’s admission into the mental ward in their last year, and Basile had told them about his mom’s mental illness.
“We know,” Arthur said. “That sucks.”
“Uh, okay, yeah, it does. So we didn’t know at the time, but a lot of the stuff I did at my old school was due to episodes. It’s also why I failed my bac and got expelled from my other school and came to your high school. But like I said, nobody knew at the time and so, one day, I went into a manic stage and I tried to jump off a rooftop because I thought I could fly. A police agent managed to talk into me enough to get me down safely, and I got brought into the station. They called my parents, and they thought I had tried to commit suicide – which wasn’t true. I had everything to live for, and I wouldn’t want to give up –”
He looked at Lucas again. So did Yann. Both sets of eyes were trying to gauge what Lucas was thinking, feeling, but Lucas was numb.
“Anyway. They had me admitted into a psych ward near Le Havre, where they had moved to a few months earlier, that same night. I couldn’t keep my phone or anything, I couldn’t contact anybody, I –”
Again, his eyes found Lucas, pleading.
“I wanted to call you so badly, I swear, but they wouldn’t let me, and then when they finally gave me my phone back, it was weeks later, after they had diagnosed me, and I just – I thought you would be better off without me. Or that you would have forgotten me, or had moved on, and so I just… didn’t.”
Lucas saw Eliott’s eyes shine with something different now, as if he was blinking back tears. He wasn’t sure his own eyes looked any better.
It remained silent for a while. The boys looked from one to the other, unsure what was going on.
“So why are you back now, then?”, Yann asked, when nobody else made a move.
“The simple reason is that I finally got accepted into the Arts program at the University of Paris,” he answered, but his eyes still never left Lucas.
Yann nudged him with his elbow, willing him to ask the obvious reason, but Lucas was still too much in shock to do so.
In the end, it was Arthur who finally broke the heavy tension.
“And the complicated reason?”
Eliott took a deep breath.
“I had to leave something behind I never wanted to leave. Or someone, rather. Someone who I hadn’t even known all that long, but who meant everything to me. Someone who I missed every goddamn day I was out there. Who I have written thousands of texts to, and deleted them all, who I wanted to call millions of times, but never did. Someone I made so many drawings for over the years I could barely get them all to Paris with me – I just hope he gives me a chance to show them to him one day.”
“Sound like someone pretty important,” Yann said, when Eliott’s voice broke.
“The most important person I ever met,” Eliott agreed. “I loved him then, and I hate the fact that I never got to tell him, so I just hope I get to tell him now.”
“Do you – still?”, Lucas whispered. “Love him?”
Eliott nodded. “I never stopped. Please, Lucas,” he said, suddenly giving up all the pretense, beseeching him, “I swear I never meant to hurt you, it all happened so fast, and I know I am years too late, and you probably have somebody else by now, I just – I need you to believe me. I fell in love with you the first day I saw you walking the hallway at school, and I never stopped.”
Basile gasped.
“You are in love with Lucas? Our Lucas?”
“Oh, come on, Baz,” Arthur said as he stood up. “Let’s go get pizza. You coming, Yann?”
And as Basile still protested indignantly – “But I didn’t know! Lucas never said anything!” – Arthur and Yann dragged him along, the latter winking over his shoulder at Lucas.
As Basile’s voice finally died down, Lucas lifted his eyes to Eliott’s, and then dropped them to his mouth almost immediately.
“Lucas?”, Eliott said tentatively, gingerly reaching out a hand to Lucas’ shoulder.
“You drew for me?”
He didn’t know why he came up with that, after everything Eliott had said, but he was rewarded when Eliott smiled.
“Hundreds of times. Hundreds of happy hedgehogs and raccoons.”
Lucas smiled.
“Do you… I mean, maybe… If you wanted… You could come with me and I could show them to you?”
Eliott’s tone was hopeful, but cautious, and suddenly Lucas didn’t want to waste another minute. He’d pined over Eliott for years, and here he was. Nobody could predict the future, but tonight, he wasn’t going to let Eliott slip away.
“Only if I can stay the night,” he said, softly, and he laughed as Eliott’s eyes went wide and his breath hitched.
“I can’t wait until we get there to kiss you,” Eliott replied just as softly, when he was sufficiently recovered.
“Please don’t.”
And when their lips found each other again after all those years, they both knew it was going to take a while to get to the drawings – but neither of them overly minded.
19 notes · View notes
lallemcnt · 5 years
Text
go ahead and watch my heart burn (part four)
“When you look at him you see dark night opening, giving way to dawn.”
— Ibn Said al-Maghribi
-
“Talk to me.”
“You shouldn’t have to reassure me all the fucking time! I’m so sick of my brain and how messed up I am!”
“You’re not messed up, Lucas.”
Lucas is perched on the arm of Eliott’s sofa, head bowed and arms shielding his body. Eliott sits on the edge of the sofa at its other end, the exasperated expression on his face mirroring Lucas’ voice. The distance between them, a sofa separating them, feels like miles upon miles, an impossible space to close. Lucas understands his frustration, he even feels sorry for him, sorry that he has to deal with Lucas when he gets like this: frustrated and insecure, when Eliott hasn’t done anything to incite these feelings, when he has been nothing but understanding, nothing but absolutely caring, nothing but a flame in the dark on the days when Lucas’ anxiety has been particularly debilitating.
He knew this was going to happen, that he would mess it up, he just didn’t know he would only have a month of being with Eliott before it all blew up in his face. Abruptly, the frustration drains from him and he is tired. He moves towards the door, stuffing his feet in his trainers and pulling on his jacket. Eliott gets to his feet, following Lucas to the door, asking in a beseeching voice, “You can’t just leave, we need to talk.”
Lucas doesn’t turn around to address him, simply opens the front door and lets out a quiet: “Let me go” before shutting the door behind him and trudging down the stairs into a chilly late summer day. His shoulders instantly hunch up and he’s blowing hot air into his hands for warmth, not sure where he’s going exactly. Going, he scoffs to himself, more like running, like the coward you are. But the knowledge of his cowardice is not enough to make him go back to Eliott and explain.
Lucas recalls a conversation they had a few days after he told Eliott about his father. When Eliott asked Lucas about his anxiety and how it affected him. He didn’t push Lucas to speak about it or set up some kind of intervention. They had been watching reruns of shitty TV at Eliott’s, as usual, eating popcorn and drinking some kind of nasty-ass beer Lucas has brought over when Eliott had asked him:
“I- Can I ask you questions about your anxiety? I’ve been reading up on it and I know I’ll need to do more, but would you…would you mind that? Because I know it is different for everyone.” His voice was tentative, his hands clenched around his beer bottle as if he was scared he had crossed an unspoken line, entering into unknown territory.
It was completely out of the blue. Lucas wondered if this had been on Eliott’s mind the entire evening, he, himself, felt slightly uncomfortable and nervous, because talking about it never ended well, it only ever crushed his mood, his soul, leaving him disappointed. However, he knew, in his heart, that if this thing between them had any chance of survival Eliott had the prerogative to know, to decide for himself if Lucas was worth all the work, and to make this decision he needed all the facts.
Turning down the volume on the TV, Lucas had shifted to face Eliott, because he could be strong. Hadn’t all his years of quiet survival proven that? He could look Eliott in the eye when he inevitably concluded that it was all too much. That Lucas was not worth it.
“You need to understand that you can’t fix me, okay? I’m always going to be dealing with this and I want you to know that I won’t blame you or hate you if you decide to leave, okay? It is a lot. I know,” Pausing for breath, Lucas had taken a swig of his drink before continuing. “Sometimes I’ll get irritable for no reason, at myself and at you. I’ll be snippy. I won’t want to talk to you. When we’ve planned to go to a party or out for dinner, when the day comes round the thought of going may make me feel physically sick and I won’t want to go because I’m terrified of meeting new people or being left alone at a party with nothing to do or no one to talk to. Sometimes I’ll put off doing things and stay home for days because the idea is a lot more peaceful, comfortable and safe than going out.
“And you have to know, it won’t be your fault. I just need space sometimes. There’s something else, too. It’s hard to explain why…there are times when I think it’s because of my father, but I can be touch averse too, casual touches will annoy me and turn my mood sour. I used to be this really affectionate kid, and I still crave touch, but I also hate it at times.”
Eliott nodded thoughtfully along as Lucas spoke; being given the opportunity to explain how he feels and be heard was everything. Everything and more. More than he ever imagined he would be lucky enough to experience.
He doesn’t even know how this afternoon’s argument got heated so quickly, but when he reaches that level of frustration he can’t be talked down, no placating words can calm him, and Eliott contradicting him, telling him he wasn’t messed up made him more angry, and Lucas also knew that while his head was telling him to yell and slam the door and tell Eliott that he will never understand, that he doesn’t get it, that this will never work between them, his heart was whispering for him to get out of there, to cool off, before he said something he would regret.
He knew why Eliott was frustrated, Lucas had been closed off for the past week, refusing to confide in Eliott who had asked him several times what was going on. He was clueless, unsure if he was the problem. Lucas could have easily reassured him that it wasn’t him, but he was feeling mean and bitter. Communication. The age-old issue that tore couples apart on the daily. He knew Eliott would be struggling to understand if the issue was anxiety-related or if Lucas was just being an asshole, which he was want to be every now and then, but that only made Lucas more irate.
Walking along the Seine, Lucas kicks out at a rock and then another, physically exercising his annoyance. The thing was, deep down is wasn’t just anger he felt, it was fear and shock and insurmountable shame, and even the thought of explaining this to Eliott- it is enough to make him sink down on a bench in fatigue, because hasn’t he told enough secrets for once? Hasn’t even opened himself up to pain over and over again these last few weeks? So, seeing what Lucas saw in conjunction with someone else being worried about you and constantly asking if you are okay when you most definitely are not is too much. To be worrying about someone else’s feelings when you are consumed by your own mounting despair is enough emotional grievance to knock you out for a lifetime.
Today at 13:15
Le gang
yann: my dudes who’s up for a night of gaming at mine? bazzz: HELL YES I’M IN arthur: idk i’ve got this huge essay to get done by tomorrow arthur: and i haven’t started yet bazzz: yikes arthur: lucas!!!!!! have u done it yet?? bazzz: come on we haven’t hung out in ages bazzz: are you’ll really choosing work over spending time with ME?! yann: i have bEER arthur: bold of you to assume i’d bunk of uni work for beer bazzz: we’ve got arthur! yann: lulu! where u at? arthur: lulu! bazzz: lulu!
Lucas clicks off the chat, puts it on silent and pulls up Manon’s.
Today at 13:27
Manon
lucas: hey u around? Manon: hey!! Manon: yeah i am Manon: what are you thinking? lucas: ummm wanna go for a walk? Manon: i’d love to
After deciding where to meet, Lucas begins to stroll across one of the many bridges that cross the river. In an attempt to clear his mind of Eliott and their argument, he marvels at the beauty of his city, at all the history that these old and ornate buildings must contain; the grey water washing by them, dividing banks and creating islands. He walks by children already wrapped up in coats and hats but licking away at vanilla ice-creams. There are two men in suits locked in a heated exchange, jaws tight and eyes narrowed. A couple up ahead leans against the side of the bridge, entangled in each other’s arms, blonde hair whipping against their faces: Lucas looks away quickly at the surge in his chest. And just beyond them, he spots a red pea-coat: Manon. Dressed in woolly tights, her brown hair tied in a loose braid, she clutches a paperback book in one hand, her elbows rest on the off-white arm of the bridge, discoloured by the grim of urban life.
When they meet, Lucas falls into her outstretched arms as though this place, here, is a refuge amidst a storming sea. He doesn’t cry, but he remains there for a while. If Lucas had to describe Manon he would wax poetic about her. She’s closer to a sister to him than a friend, but then who ever said a person couldn’t be both to you?
Drawing away from each other, they smile and return to look over the bridge where Manon rests her  book. Lucas observes the cover and the authors name as recognition hits and he’s turning back to Manon, incredulously, as he exclaims, “No way! What the hell? Is that the last book?”
Manon is grinning and holding it up to Lucas’ face. “Yep! Had to pre-order it and everything. Just went to pick it up from the shop, actually.”
“I can’t believe it. We waited, what, five years for it and now it’s actually here? Fuck.”
When they were twelve, there was this fantasy book series everyone was reading about magicians and vampires, empires falling and rising, quests for lost artefacts and stolen celestial swords. Suffice it to say, Lucas and Manon were obsessed; they would queue up outside the bookstore for midnight releases with Manon’s older brother and parents, they would have reading parties together on weekends, but it was also one of those series where the last book kept getting pushed back until it’s release seemed a fallacy, but after seven years, the final book was out.
Lucas grabbed the book proffered to him and scanned the cover and back, flipping the book open like a fan. The smell of newly printed pages ready to be devoured and loved was an inexplicable bliss. He placed it in reach of Manon whose back was against the bridge’s sides and face directed towards Lucas, her blue gaze is searching. He pretends to be interested in the boats disappearing beneath him, but he’s forgotten Manon can out-wait him, she has the patience of a saint. What’s more is she has always thought of Lucas as a younger brother despite their birthdays only between two weeks apart — one week, six days, two hours and 19 minutes exactly if you ask Lucas — making her infinitely more willing to spend minutes, hours in silence until he is ready to open up or can’t stand the silence so he fills it meaningless words which eventually unwinds into the deeper stuff, because Manon makes the time to be there for everyone she holds dear. Lucas is one of those lucky people, he knows that.
In this way, while the wind insists on dispelling summer in favour of autumn, as Manon waits out Lucas and the sky grows grey in alliance with the wind and the Seine leads its placid journey, winding around the city, Lucas voices what has got him all twisted up inside for the past week, the catalyst for this argument with Eliott.
“I think I saw my father last week. At uni.”
This shocks Manon. Although he isn’t directly looking at here, out of the corner of his eye he sees her blanch at his words, she turns around, standing beside him as though in solidarity, as if she would be able to protect him from what has already happened. His heart clenches at this.
“How are you feeling?” She asks.
Bringing his hand up to chew his thumb nail, Lucas shrugs, which is ridiculous because he knows how he feels, he’s been sinking in this tumult of negativity for seven fucking days.
“You know what I wanted to do? I wanted to go up to him. I wanted to look him dead in the eyes and see if he would even recognise me, to ask him how he could do what he did and claim it was love? How you can do that to someone you’re supposed to love unconditionally? What did I do exactly to make him hate me so much? What did I do? I want to know so I never do it again, so I don’t provoke that kind of behaviour-”
“Listen to me, Lucas. No,” Manon is shaking her head and holding Lucas own between her hands so he is forced to look at her while she speaks. “You did not provoke anything, you hear me? I can’t explain to you why he did what he did to you, why he hurt you. But I do know one thing for certain, and I know you’re tired of hearing me say it but I will say it forever if I have to, this is all on him, nothing you did was wrong. It was all him. All him.”
Biting down on his lip, blinks back tears. “I don’t even know why he was there, and I didn’t want it to become this big thing but Eliott caught on to my mood, I mean, how could he not? And I didn’t feel like talking about it, not after telling him about my father, my anxiety. It would’ve just been overboard for him, you know?”
“No, I don’t know. Lucas, he’s there, right? Wanting to be with you. In relationships there are times where you don’t want to say how you feel and you don’t want to express the messy shit, but Lucas, if this is going on for an extended period of time you have got to let him in. It’s unfair otherwise. You’re part of a team now.”
Lucas sighs.
“Unless he’s been an asshole and said something-”
“No! He hasn’t-”
“-because then I’ll be having words with him.”
That brings a smile to Lucas’ lips. Hearing Manon threaten someone — even thinking it sounds ridiculous in his head — is always a shock because she’s Manon, always flocking to make sure everyone is okay, wearing their coats when it’s cold, ensuring everyone has a ride home after a night out.
“No, he’s great. I’m the asshole, but what’s new, right?”
Throwing an arm around Lucas’ shoulder, easily done because they’re the same height, Manon frowns. “Just talk to him, my love. For him, for your relationship, but, most importantly, for yourself. Now, say this together with me ‘I am not an asshole’.”
Lucas rolls his eyes but Manon is serious. She begins to open her mouth and when Lucas makes no effort to join her she stops and glares, full force, at him until he obliges with another sigh.
“I am not an asshole.”
“And again.”
“I. Am. Not. An. Asshole.”
“Whoop! That is so true, Lucas. You aren’t. Alright, let’s hobble along somewhere, it’s kinda chilly out here. I think my toes are about to stop working.”
“Okay, okay.”
Linking arms, the two friends find a coffee shop to sit at, a feat on days such as this when everyone is seeking the warmth of the inside, clutching warm mugs of hot chocolate between their hands they speak of lighter things, less serious but just as important.
-
By the time eight o’clock rolls around, Lucas is feeling hopelessly guilty about leaving Eliott’s place that afternoon. Manon’s words play on his mind: You have got to let him in. It’s unfair otherwise. You’re part of a team now. But because he’s the king of avoidance, Lucas has agreed to go to Yann’s for a gaming night and he’s rationalised to himself that that is okay, because he hasn’t seen the boys in a while and he misses them and Eliott is probably off hanging out with Idriss and Sofiane, so he’s okay and they can speak tomorrow. It can all be sorted out tomorrow.
On his way over to Yann’s, he begins typing an apologetic text to Eliott, it screams pathetic and cheap, everything he should say in person. Cursing in frustration, Lucas deletes it all, at least he tries to and he does erase most of it but his thumb slips onto the send button in his frustration.
Today 20:04
eliott
lucas: i’m
FUCK.
He shoves his phone into the front pocket of his grey hoodie, and of course this happened, he really can’t catch a break can he?
He gets no response. Radio silence. Hopefully hanging with le gang will be distraction enough.
For the first hour Lucas is caught up in the fervor of his friends’ excitement about a new season of a TV show about a family gang in Birmingham, England on netflix. They settle on Yann’s sofa, pulling up beanbags and lazy-boys to rest their feet on; despite their apparent enthusiasm they talk through the entirety of the first episode, making poor imitations of the Birmingham accent, Baz laments about how attractive the leading male is and Lucas can’t do anything but agree.
As the night goes by, however, Lucas becomes restless, he plays one game with Yann and then a team game with Arthur and Basile. He drinks flat coca-cola and chooses the music they listen to, but there, in the background of everything is Eliott’s face when Lucas left. When he is choosing the next song to play he thinks back to the many nights when they would talk on the phone before bed and Eliott would play Lucas the piano music he had grown to love, sometimes falling asleep to it, lulled by tender notes and impossibly smooth melodies. He should be there. With Eliott.
So he leaves, apologising profusely, promising to meet them at lunch on Monday, his mouth agreeing to anything while his one-track mind retains its steady focus on one boy. He is running in the dark, the sky jet-black where weeks ago the sunset was only beginning be set. Impossibly, a few stars peak through the light-pollution endemic to most cities and the moon is there, coaxing him on his way, as if to say hurry hurry you’re almost there. Out of breath and surely sweating Lucas does not stop. He doesn’t text Eliott; he will wait outside his place until he comes home, he will wait forever if that is what it takes.
Lucas is anxious now. He presses the buzzer for Eliott’s door, hoping against hope that he will be forgiven for walking out.
“Hello?”
“It’s me. Lucas.”
Silence.
Lucas is there on the steps, panting from his run, his heart galloping in his chest for more than one reason he can count. It feels like an eternity before he hears the tell-tale sound of the front door buzzing and he’s pushing it open, climbing up the stairs to Eliott’s door. It is down the end of the corridor, the last one on his floor, and Eliott is there, in the doorway, watching Lucas as he walks towards him and it is agony: he can feel the guilt’s full force curling in his stomach. Lucas is suddenly self-conscious, he wants the floor to swallow him up. His steps are hesitant. He stops a few feet away from Eliott. Wanting to hug him.
“Can I come in?” His words are stilted, coated in uncertainty.
“Why are you here?” Eliott looks tired.
“I want to talk.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t budge a single inch.
Looks like Lucas is going to have to do this here. In the hallway. Where any number of people can just walk by. At least Eliott hasn’t shut the door in his face.
“I’m sorry. For shutting you out, refusing to talk to you. For being mean,” At this, Eliott’s composure starts to falter, Lucas understands then that his annoyed posture was all an act, possibly an attempt to guard himself from hurt, and that nicks at his heart a little. “For walking out earlier, I should have stayed. I’m just really sick of feeling vulnerable all the time, I feel like I can’t catch a break and then I take it out on you by being cold.
“I saw my father last week, unintentionally, he was at uni and it’s the first time since he left that I’ve laid eyes on him. It brought back all the shame and humiliation. I wanted to walk up to him, like I’ve imagined doing multiple times over the years and confronting him, but all I could do was run the other way. I hate that this man still has this power over me. Anyway, that’s not the point, the point is that I hurt you-”
Eliott is stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Lucas, pulling him into his apartment and holding him against the door.
“Please don’t be mad.” Lucas’ voice comes out muffled against Eliott’s chest.
“I’m not mad. The truth is I’d rather be annoyed by you than not have you at all. I want to know when you’re in pain and why. And you were, I could see it and it hurt to know you were fighting something on your own. I am so sorry, Lucas.”
“You have nothing to apologise for.”
“Remember what I told you, yeah? You are not alone.”
Lucas’ heart clenches at those words. How does Eliott think of and say things like that, so sincere like it is effortless, like it costs him nothing but the air he breathes to say them.
He pulls back from Eliott, head tilted up against the door. “You need to stop that.”
“Stop what?” Eliott cups Lucas’ face
“Saying those romantic things.”
“And you need to know that you have nothing,” He says fiercely. “To be ashamed about. You are not what happened to you. You are magnificent, and I can’t believe how lucky I am that you choose to be with me.”
“I love you.” The words slip out, Lucas widens his eyes and Eliott is laughing at Lucas’ brazenness. Simultaneously, his eyes shift and brighten, as if Lucas’ confession has changed the very colour of Eliott’s eyes, as if those three words have changed him.
A kiss, soft and tender. ”Not as much as I love you.”
Another kiss just as tender and slow, torturously slow. “Yeah, yeah. Now carry me to your bed, please.”
They stumble there, stripping off their clothes as much as they can while kissing and touching each other. As soon as Lucas hits Eliott’s bed though he is enraptured by the softness of his duvet and pillow and he sighs contentedly.
Eliott looks up from where he was kissing down Lucas’ chest and lets out a disbelievingly laugh when he sees Lucas snuggling into his pillows. He crawls up Lucas’ body until he is caging him in and looking directly down at him. Eliott, straddling Lucas’ hips now, plants a hard, searing kiss on his lips which Lucas is all too happy to reciprocate, clutching Eliott at the hips.
“You are ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously into you.” Lucas winks.
Eliott rolls over, laying his head on Lucas’ chest. “You’re tired.”
“Yeah…Your bed…Morning sex, instead?”
“Sure.”
From his position on Lucas’ chest, Eliott caresses Lucas’ lower stomach, running his fingers lightly over the skin, raising goose bumps in their wake.
Je t’aime.
Moi aussi.
24 notes · View notes
moonshroooms · 7 years
Text
Hey here are some OC questions I found and am now answering cause I’m a dweeb
I got the questions from here:
http://ocaskmemes.tumblr.com/post/152807102007/some-oc-questions
in case someone finds this random post and wants to do the same questions as well :3
1. Your first OC ever?
Ah geez. I mean, technically I made a story about a baby unicorn when I was like, 7, but we’re not gonna count that one really. I’ll say my first OC (who I roleplayed as on the official forums), was a cat based on the series Warriors named Moonshine. And yes, she’s where I got my nickname from.
She was a silver tabby with icy blue eyes, and yes she was essentially a self-insert, lol. Overtime she grew into her own person, namely being much more patient and wise than I. (And overtime I grew up to be less like her anyways). She was a medicine cat and eventually I tied in a Forbidden Love™ from her Old Clan™ and her being in love with him caused her entire Clan to go extinct. Which really wasn’t her fault in the end and would’ve later been revealed to be one of the evil ancestors of my evil cat. But whatevs. Eventually her ex-lover found her and they were allowed to be together and have two adorable kittens, one of whom is absolutely bonkers and lovely and the ancestor of two later cats who eventually became human characters. <3
2. Do you have a personal favorite among your OCs?
I could nevaaaaar. While they’re listening. But keep it between us, yeah?
From my Warriors OC (all of whom are RP characters), are two cats named Grayskies (originally just Gray), and Snowfeather (Originally just Snow), two sisters. Gray is super srs and uptight and the best older sister and makes sure Snow doesn’t accidentally kill herself and Snow is a silly and conniving and random and acts more clueless than she really is. Snow ended up having an unhealthy attachment to her sister due to their childhood and, understanding it was unhealthy, purposely pushed Gray away so Gray would open her heart to others and have a romance with my friend’s OC, and is slowly devolving into madness not being the one most important person to her sister anymore. In the end she knows being the only other person in her sister’s life isn’t good for either of them, and she loves her sister more than anything and strives to make her sister happy and healthy, but didn’t try to fix herself either. Something, something, she ended up being tricked/forced by her brother-in-law’s evil dead twin to having his demon kit baby that she tried to kill in the womb by starving herself, something something. We got really out there with our RPs they were so fun honestly. As a side note, Gray and Snow are also my two characters who were later turned into humans. My friend and I loved Gray and Will’s (her OC), relationship dynamic so much we made them human. We actually had them bust into our new roleplay (and I plan on adding Snow in too, albeit a much healthier and less-obsessed Snow).
From my own personal story that I’ve been working on since like, 2013 (really slow-going, since I want it to be a comic, and 2013 is when I started drawing). Geez. There’s six characters. I feel bad about choosing from these guys. I think Caimen is my favorite from all of them right now. It’s a constant toss-up between him and another character. He’s a red-headed half-wolf boy and he’s a sweetheart. Most of his/everyone’s story is they’re genetic amalgamations of animals (though recently been debating to rethink the story into a fantasy instead). Caimen’s sweet and thoughtful and mega-crushing with my other OC. He ends up being a bit co-dependent with her (due to the wolf genes and childhood trauma yadda-yadda), but I planned on having an arc where Kitty (le crush) and maybe the rest of the group are gone and he realizes that without her (and the rest of them), around he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He realizes he thinks of himself as part of a group rather than an individual and has difficulty making decisions without the other’s influence. He’s not 100% sweet-kawaii-desu though. Anyone he views as a ‘lower rank’ than him he tends to be incredibly hostile towards and even cruel in some cases. He and Kitty have a tendency to gang up on my other OC (and while that OC is an absolute asshole and deserves it usually, he doesn’t deserve that antagonizing all the time).
And from my current RP with my friends (though it’s been on hiatus for a long time. RIP), I think my character Kit (Kitchi), is my favorite. It’s not really a big pool to choose from, since there’s really only 2 characters I have (with another on the way, but I haven’t played as her much yet). He’s the most adorable werewolf you ever did meet. Upbeat, optimistic, respectful, friendly, playful. He’s one of my most fun characters to date. He was actually morphed from a story I made long ago about wolves with elemental powers. Originally he was a descendant of ice wolves who meets up with a wolf who was a half-breed between fire and earth (giving her incredibly dangerous lava powers), and something something they go on a journey with others to extra murder people who tried to murder the lava wolf. I never did finish that story. Kit later was refurbished into my old Warrior RP with my friend into Kit/Kitpelt. Same personality, sans magical powers. I ended up never being able to play as him (since back then basically anyone without a major plot or romantic interest was dumped by the curb and forgotten and nobody wanted to be sweet on the little sugar muffin), but I still really liked him. And when my friends and I started up a new RP after a like, 5 years hiatus, BAM I turned him into a werewolf. (She was even excited to see him around and learn that he’s the same Kit from our old RP). He’s been waiting to pounce all this time and his moment is finally here, and he’s a wonderful goblin that everyone loves inside and outside the RP, I’m so proud. He even has the ice powers from his original story (though he didn’t get them naturally. That’s due to his dangerous siren friend and all their hilarious misadventures and her almost killing him a lot).
 3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?
Noooooooooooooooope!
 4. A character you rarely talk about?
Mmm. Probably characters from any old stories I never finished. But of currently active OCs, I’d say it’s my character Emily. She’s a part of my big story with my genetically-spliced children and is a normal human. She was the last of my main cast I created, which means she’s the least-developed of them all (hence why I don’t talk about her much).
She’s a 28-year-old half-white half-hispanic (I haven’t discovered/decided specifically what race/nationality she is yet. I only ever decided: something that speaks Spanish, lol) biological/chemical scientist. She’s got wavy hair that’s all over the place, freckles for days, big body, and a big brain.
Her mother (who’s the Hispanic parent), is a CEO lady of a large company and is very Business and Pantsuits. Though she’s very much in love with her job her and Emily are close and she loves her family dearly. Her father (the white parent), is a car mechanic (or maybe a car designer, haven’t decided yet), with a passion for inventing anything he feels like at the time, productive or not. Him and Emily are incredibly dangerous together and there’s next to nothing they can’t create. Emily was raised mostly by her aunt (Tia in Spanish, right?), who’s a lady who loves children (based on my own mom, tbh), but never had any of her own. After Emily was born she coincidentally ran into financial trouble and moved into her sister’s house to help raise Emily and get back on her feet while her parents were working. After she picked herself up again (during Emily’s teenage years), she successfully opened a day-care business where she gets to look after all the children she wants.
Emily herself joined our story after being kidnapped by my animal children and forced into being their doctor after one of them gets Horribly Ill (which is later determined to be asthma). After spending time with them she feels even more guilt about the Illegal Experiments which birthed them (though she didn’t have a direct hand in it. They were already born long before she joined), and defects to their side (losing her job in the process which means she has to move back in with her parents). Emily landed the job at the place the children were made, because they were really secretive and basically like Everything Here is Confidential If You Can’t Handle That Go Away (I’m not exactly an expert on underground operations okay sue me my story’s not very developed either). But she was fresh out of college, couldn’t land a job or pay her bills, and didn’t want to disappoint her parents, so she took the job.
After joining the group of misfit children she becomes a bit of a co-leader with the ‘actual’ leader Talon (who is incredibly grateful for her presence because despite being 18, he’s still a child who needs guidance himself and isn’t really qualified to care for 4 other genetically-altered children alone. Or at all). Emily’s very smart, curious (almost to the point of being nosy), and a bit of a worrywart. She gets a little into the children’s personal space when she starts investigating their anatomy or behavior and rambles way too much. She’s also not good with blood and bruising. Drawing blood from a needle or other female-related blood situations are fine, but someone gets a papercut or a bruise from kicking the table and she just flips the fuck out.
Emily is also incredibly protective of Caimen against his girlfriend Kitty, mostly because Kitty is incredibly Hand-sy and Flirty and Em acts like she’s gonna corrupt him.
Overall Emily tries to atone for what the Facility did to the kids and what they forced their lives to be like, and certainly gets flak from the children when they find out how much/little she knew about the Facility’s underground operations. I really need to develop her personally and her relationship with the other characters, as well as a bunch of other things.
 5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?
Kit, because he’s a lovely sausage that needs to be shared with the world.
 6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?
Kitty and Caimen. I made them almost back-to-back when I first started drawing and Wasn’t Good At All, thusly they have similar design. Later on I got waaaay more diverse with both facial and body type. And down the road Kitty and Caimen got more noticeable differences, but they’re still pretty similar and on more than one occasion someone assumes they’re siblings. I’m probably not going to majorly change their designs just for the sake of making them different either. If I suddenly come up with a design that fits them better, I’ll do that. But I won’t do it for differences-sake, not when the rest of the cast is as diverse as it is. Two unrelated people looking alike isn’t unbelievable either – me and my one friend are often asked if we’re sisters.
Kitty’s a small, bony little thing that’s more muscle than anything else. Tan skin, dark brown/mottled hair, bright yellow eyes. I’ve debated whether or not she gets a normal collarbone or not since cats don’t get any o’ that. Her facial shape is very angular, with more of a triangle-shaped face and tiny nose.
Caimen’s in the middle between gangly-14-year-old and starting-to-fill-out-more. He’s got no noticeable muscles or fat, but isn’t bony either. Light skin, strawberry blonde hair, and I’m not sure what his eye color is yet, surprisingly. I have a hard time deciding between green and hazel. I’m probably gonna go hazel, tbh. Caimen’s got a rounder face and soft features.
One of the biggest things that’s similar with them are their animal-inherited parts. Kitty has the classic slitted pupils of a cat that expand and contract. And Caimen has slitted pupils that stay one size, but yo 2013 me, you remember that wolves don’t have slitted pupils right? I know it looks cool and you like the more feral look to it, but that’s anatomically wrong ya dingus. I can’t bring myself to give it up though, it doesn’t look like Caimen without it.
And yeah, they do have the basic cat/wolf-ears-and-tail design. I fretted over the basic design a lot when I first created my story, but personally? I really like these designs. And I know it’s not incredibly creative, but I wasn’t really striving to have a child with the body of a human and the upper torso of an actual wolf, or one of their legs is feline or it looks human but is shaped like a bobcat. I wanted my character to have some opportunity to be amongst normal humans, and them looking ­too inhuman would ruin that. (Though Kitty and another character Snake Eyes are the most animalistic out of all of them and really have to cake on the disguises to get by). And overall I like these designs. I know they’re everywhere but I don’t mind it much. This is the kind of story I’d want to read. Surely someone else has the same taste as me. And if someone drops the story because they’ve seen the design before and find it boring then they’re really not the audience I was looking for anyways.
And more than that, the one thing I’m proud of with specifically Kitty’s design is that my cat-girl has whiskers. Do you know how much that bothers me? Why don’t more cat-girls have whiskers they’re like the biggest staple of cats people name their cats Whiskers. I named my cat Whiskers. And I mean actual protruding whiskers, not lines painted on the cheeks like Naruto.
 7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?
All of them, personal stories or RP stories. Absolutely none of my OCs were born in a void without at least a semblance of a larger story. I don’t understand how people make characters but not even have at least a vague idea for a story? Like they’re just there?? Are you magic??? How????
 8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!
Tons of them! No like literally, back when I RPed Warriors my friend and I had literally hundreds of characters (many of which were dropped by the wayside honestly).
But that was years ago so we’re not gonna talk about them.
Instead we’re gonna talk about Cara (who I briefly mentioned earlier), my lovely little siren.
Cara’s a red-headed and very dangerous 22-year-old siren. In a strange turn of events that almost resulted in child murder, Cara befriended a young 16-year-old werewolf boy (they were 19 and 13 respectively, when they first met). In order to continue being friends Cara promise to stop literally eating humans and devouring their souls and lives a ‘normal’ life on land.
As a siren she can enchant men with her voice and hates women (though not because she’s a siren. There are reasons and experiences as to why). She is the depiction of a siren that usually crisscrosses with mermaids, but I do have a little history planned out that some original sirens (which are birb women), were saved from drowning by mermaids and mermen, who they fell in love with, and down the line aquatic sirens were born (and there’s still a distinction between aquatic sirens and mermaids, and boy do sirens hate mermaids).
Cara is very superficial, flirty, bombastic, a tad crude, and very dramatic. At the very least, on the surface. Sirens live in a kind of animalistic world, and only a few of them have some semblance of a society. The first human Cara ate was her father, a kind sailor who was dragged to the depths by her mother, and kept alive to raise the future child (though in her defense Cara was like, 6, and didn’t really understand the implications of sucking out his soul until after he was dead). When Cara was 13 or so her mother chased her off after they got into a spat over some food and Cara was on her own since. Because of multiple reasons that I won’t explain now, Cara believes that she (as a siren and as a female), is an inherently evil creature, and even if she does good things it really doesn’t change who and what she is at her core.
Despite her very loud personality, Cara desperately wishes to be someone people can view as a lady. Currently she tries to act more sophisticated and lady-like than she is, an act that comes across more like a child playing dress-up and quickly falls apart if someone triggers her quick temper.
Currently in our big supernatural RP, Cara has a romantic interest in the form of my friend’s fairy-banshee half-breed. Whether or not Cara would be able to ‘love’ him honestly is up in the air. I suppose we’ll find out :D
 9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?
So my friend often draws my character Gray (which includes any tiny, funny comics she might’ve drawn), since she’s rather woven into her character Will’s story. In fact she came up with a drawn design of her before I did (since I didn’t draw at the time, though I did tell her what the human version would look like) and she’s got her character pretty spot-on. One day it came to our realization that I had never actually drew her human version. Anyways, while I never ‘gave’ Gray to her, if I were to give someone a character, it’d be Gray to my friend.
 10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
Eh, I don’t know if I really have that tbh. I suppose one OC I had back when I first started drawing; a girl named J.C. who could turn into a raptor-like beast. That raptor was so fricken hard to draw and I only drew like one, shoulder-up drawing. But it’s easily one of my most proud creations.
 11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?
Kit, hands-down. And human-Snow.
 12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot
I love my friend’s OC named Dante. And I literally know next-to-nothing about him, but he’s just a little unhinged and loads of dangerous and oooOOOh boy is that my favorite combination of traits! And he’s a cutie too :P
 13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?
Absolutely. Troublemakers are the best kinds of people.
My character Kitty is pretty chaotic, and Snake Eyes is an asshole for the sake of it. Another character of mine, Hex (short for Hexagon), is a troublemaker, too.
 14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory
Hex, the character I mentioned above, has a pretty sad backstory (at least of characters I haven’t already mentioned. They pretty much all have a weird or sucky backstory). It does get a happy ending though.
Hex was created by J.C. (through a lot of magical power mumbo-jumbo that’s too long to explain here). J.C. turning into a raptor caused her mind to start forming two halves. Eventually the other half began to have a conscious until one day Hex said one word: “I”. And in that moment she realized she was a thing, a someone. And she desperately tried to find a way to get J.C. to hear her and know she existed. J.C. was all that she knew of the world. She was everything.
But unfortunately Hex’s voice were perceived as dark and evil thoughts, since Hex often disagreed with J.C. not killing people who tried to harm her. Eventually Hex grew powerful enough to change J.C.’s physical form. She greeted J.C. as a reflection in a puddle, turning J.C.’s face into a scarred, half-beast monstrosity. Since Hex was manifested from J.C.’s frequent transformation into her raptor form, that’s half of what Hex looked like.
Having half her face morphed against her will into a creepy abomination understandably terrified J.C., especially when she connects that this monster is where the thoughts of killing others comes from. J.C. calls Hex a demon and disgusting and Hex is completely confused and heartbroken. And eventually that pain grows to hatred. She was rejected from the being that created her and that she loved and admired with all her existence. And when the one thing you know rejects you, what do you have left?
Hex began to grow stronger over time, gaining more dominance over J.C.’s mind and body. Eventually she used the extra power that built when J.C. transformed to create a body of her own. Hex looks like J.C., but with pale, almost gray skin, and darker hair. The left half of her body being a mix between skin and scales, her hands devolving into a more claw-like shape. The left side of her face is scaled and scarred, with a shredded and veiny fin-like ear and much too-large eye that’s the same as the raptor’s eye. She runs off after separating from J.C., later returning in multiple attempts to kill her unintentional creator.
Eventually J.C. realizes from stuff and things and events, that Hex isn’t actually evil or a demon, she just wanted J.C.’s acceptance. And she’s hurting and doesn’t know what to do to make it stop. She’s almost a child in this world she leapt out into, and doesn’t know how to act and communicate what she needs. And when J.C. finally accepts her all the malice melts away. Hex quickly joins the group J.C.’s in and becomes a powerful ally with very strange powers and abilities.
Shortly after she joins the group, J.C. and co. realize Hex had no name. And after they tried to put their heads together for a name for her, Hex asks if she doesn’t get a say in it. She reveals to them her name will be Hex, and when they look at her for more indication and to why the flip-flap did you name yourself Hex of all things, she just tells them it’s short for Hexagon. And then she leaves like that didn’t just spawn more questions than it answered.
And as a side note: Hex where’s an outfit that’s very akin to a stereotypical genie outfit, because that’s exactly what it is. After shoving herself out of J.C. in the weirdest birth ever, she runs around naked for a while before realizing human people where clothes. She walks into the first clothing store she finds, a Party City Halloween-costume type place, grabs a genie costume, and leaves.
Dang this character is great why did I drop this story
 15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?
No, because no one ever asks me. Which is very sad and also why I’m doing this ask thingy myself XD I do wish my friend’s would ask me questions though. I always ask them questions about theirs, even when it’s small, cause I know I’d want someone taking an interest in mine, ya know?
 16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?
Other than Emily, the literal biology scientist? Talon (a character I think I mentioned but didn’t name), would be a wiz at biology + have a passion for it probably.
 17. Any OC OTPs?
All of them. Everyone. Everyone that exists all at once.
Kitty + Caimen
Snake Eyes + Arachnea
Talon + Emily (though for poor Tally it’s his one-sided crush on her and isn’t reciprocated).
J.C. + a character I have an idea of but never created/named.
Gray + Will (does it count if it’s not my OC?? It does now)
Snow + Lewis (Will’s evil twin, with whom they’re in a mega dysfunctional relationship A+)
Cara + Bishop (my friend’s OC)
Kit + Anna (my other friend’s OC)
 18. Any OC crackships?
Naaaaaaah. Well wait.
Yeah.
Cara and Kit. Cara is very defensive and protective over Kit, and while they’re explicitly just friends seriously, it hasn’t stopped me from writing a piece or two where they end up in a very close Predicament. Cara didn’t grow up in a human society and therefore has no qualms or care about Minors = Off-Limits, so she did attempt to instigate something once or twice (though it was out of habit rather than interest), but miraculously Kit managed to keep things strictly platonic.
HOW-E-VER
I do have a few other pieces, which is the result of a never-gonna-happen-this-is-just-for-my-eyes-and-a-random-guilty-pleasure-cause-I’m-dumb AU where, due to whatever reason I never bothered to explain, Cara takes ahold of the siren magic she’s been subtly smothering Kit with over the years to ensure that he doesn’t turn against her (like she fears will eventually happen). She convinces him that he’s in love with her, which he believes. However he can’t stop the feeling that something is off. He knows that he does love Cara and she’s very important to him, but it just feels off.
In a different instance, (which is more true to their canonical history, but ultimately never happened and is still just for me cause I’m a dweeb), Kit kisses Cara out of anger from being dumped by a girl he really liked (and Cara’s subsequent unrefined attempt at comforting him). And when Cara kisses him back and it gets a bit heated, he immediately regrets it (thinking to himself that he’s not treating Cara like a human and hates the kind of person that uses someone as a rebound), and stops everything. To his surprise Cara isn’t upset (with either the kiss nor breaking it off), and only asks him if it helped. And when he admits it didn’t Cara gives him a hug and lets him cry and mope.
That second one is less of shipping and more solidifying how important Kit is to Cara (mostly in the ensuing conversation. He’s the first friend she’s ever had, after all, and she wants to help him however she can), and random sexual tension is there cause I’m complete garbage.
Yes I’m melodramatic for no reason and a complete trash gremlin fite me
 19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)
Eh. Honestly I’ve mentioned all the ones that mean a lot to me honestly.
Moonshine is the first OC I’ve ever made. Kitty, J.C., and Caimen are the first OCs I made when I started drawing. Kit is just a loveable fuzzball.
Wait I thought of someone.
Ami, a wolf from a large story I made and the first story I’ve ever completed (and also the only story I’ve ever completed, not including shorts/oneshots XD). She was the leader of a pack of wolves who were forced out of their territory due to encroaching humans. It’s only of the few/only story I have with absolutely no supernatural/magical elements (if you’re not counting the fact that the wolves speak to each other like humans, lol).
Honestly it’s the story I’m most proud of, simply because I actually finished it. It’s pretty unrefined and I was kinda young when I wrote it. It’s obvious there are heavy influences from the Warrior Cats series, and also the wolves don’t run like a wolf pack does realistically at all.
But Ami’s story actually came to a close and a happy ending, and so she (and the rest of the cast), are very important to me.
 20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?
Cara, my siren, obvi.
For Cara’s voice, though she’s crass and rude and loud, I imagine the type of singing you hear from Celtic Woman, for example. When she’s doing her enchanting than it’s more sounds that words (and any words she does sing are usually in foreign ‘siren language’). It’s a haunting voice, like a singing spirit, beckoning you to investigate, to find out who, who is that? Her enchanting specifically focuses on instilling emotion rather than a command. It’s an invitation, a suggestion, to do what she wants.
Other than that she really likes R&B.
Caimen too. I imagine he really likes to sing, and has a fantastically high voice for it too. I don’t have any type of headcanon for his voice, however. I imagine he’s the type to like all types of music, but especially softer songs with a lot of emotion.
 21. Your most artistic OC
Arachnea, who I’ve only mentioned by name. She has a passion for makeup, fashion, and hair, and basically anything attributing to your appearance. Looks at a face like a sketch, and all she needs is to add a little color to finish it off. She loves being able to dress herself up (though her circumstances rarely allow her to do so), and be able to express her style and personality through her outward appearance.
 22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?
Nah, because no one ever asks me about them.
 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?
Oh geez, a few. I think the character with the most drastic change was Caimen.
Originally Caimen was created mostly as Kitty’s romantic interest (though it wouldn’t be all he is, obviously). In all honestly, Caimen’s ‘personality’, if you can call it that, was strikingly similar to Kisshu my long-standing OTP from Tokyo Mew Mew. I’m embarrassed to even think about it. Ugh. Originally he was cheeky and mischievous and flirty, and Kitty was not having Any Of It. Kitty’s personality was pretty different too back then, actually. Anyways, as time went on, Caimen quickly got a personality of his own and nOT ridiculously similar to my guilty-pleasure anime, and Kitty went on to be the cheeky asshole instead, which was honestly who she was from the beginning if it weren’t for me shoe-horning what I ‘wanted’ them to be like.
 24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?
AlL OF thEM.
But if I had to choose, probably Arachnea or Kit. They’re the ones who are honestly the friendliest and the ones I’d probably get along with best.
 25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)
AlL OF thEM.
No but, while they’re not self-inserts, it’s easy for me to pick out any part of me that might have slipped into the character (or that we just happen to share), even character that I share mostly nothing with.
Either way
Other than Moonshine, who was basically a self-insert (at first), Arachnea is the character I share most in common with personality-wise.
She’s shy, and not very confident in herself, but strives to be good to others in the same way she hopes others will be to her. She’s rather self-conscious, more in her abilities than anything else, and can get discouraged quickly, and takes other’s criticism to heart way too easily. Sometimes she needs someone to push her, even when it’s something she wants to do. Underneath she does have her own backbone, and if it comes down to it, she’d rather be a subject of ridicule than do something she doesn’t want to do. Arachnea is working towards being a more confident and assertive person, and is making great strides to being as bright and shining as she wants to be. Arachnea’s much more extroverted (despite her shyness), than I am, probably 10x nicer and calmer, and much more interested in fashion than I could ever hope to be, lol. But she’s a lot like how I was a couple years ago. I like to think I’m a bit more of the person I want to be, like hopefully Arachnea can be the person she wants to be one day.
 26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?
I’m not even sure what this question means. Like. Their design was too similar to someone else and I had to change it? Nah. Thankfully all my characters look like I want them too. And since I’m not legally publishing anything, no need to worry about legal anything ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
Naaaaah. But plenty of songs that resemble my OCs.
 28. Your most dangerous OC?
Cara, definitely. And not just the male enchant-y powers either (though there is a dragon nearby she’d have total control over should she utilize that power). My sirens, on top of their singing, have another feature. By consuming human souls (and the souls of incredibly powerful creatures, or each other), they starting to grow pearls in their skin. These pearls are vessels of power, be it physical or magical (with different colored pearls having different levels of strength). A siren could, theoretically, become infinitely powerful by growing enough pearls (since consuming the souls of others expands their lifetime. Indefinitely, if they keep eating). Cara went on a massive killing spree before meeting Kit and has enough pearls to consider her incredibly dangerous to other supernaturals most other siren she might come across. Powers tend to develop based on personality and other traits. Cara’s actually an eel-like siren and has electricity powers that she was born with. She later begins to develop heat ability (not fire, heat), that she has trouble controlling due to her inexperience. She’ll actually burn herself if she uses it outside of water for too long/too hot, but she’ll be able to control it eventually. She used to have ice powers, but (from circumstances I won’t explain), those powers were transferred to Kit.
Either way, while Cara’s not infinitely powerful, she’s my most dangerous character currently and the character that has the potential to be the most dangerous creature on the planet.
 29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?
Kit, seeing as he investigated a siren that already tried to eat him once.
 30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?
Talon, Arachnea, and Kit. But Talon and Arachnea would totally own up to it and Kit would be embarrassed to the moon and back.
 31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)
Kit would probably run a supernatural blog, full of both real and fake supernatural sightings, information, discussions, jokes, and more.
 32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?
Probably Kit or Arachnea. I don’t play many (or any), horror games, so I don’t know what the stereotypes are. But Kit would be the type to get himself into dumb situations over curiosity alone, and would probably be creative enough to get himself out of some sticky predicaments. And Arachnea is a beast when push comes to shove. Though she prefers to not fight physically, she’s literally my most muscular and physically strong character (not counting supernaturals), and if it came down to it she’d sock a zombie right in the face and probably knock its head off.
33. Your shyest OC?
Arachnea
 34. Do you have any twin characters?
I do actually, though they’re hardly fleshed out at all (I haven’t even decided on names). Kit has adoptive twin sisters, a couple of were-foxes his parents found abandoned in the wild. They managed to find them early enough in childhood development so they wouldn’t grow up into completely feral children (though they tend to prefer their fox forms to human forms).
 35. Any sibling characters?
Yes, yes.
Kit, as mentioned above, has adoptive twin sisters.
Gray and Snow are sisters (though I haven’t decided if their human versions are twins or not).
Cara likely has dozens of unknown siren sisters.
 36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?
Gray’s husband Will belongs to my friend, Snow’s boyfriend Lewis belongs to the same friend, and Cara and Kit’s romantic interest belong to my friends!
 37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human
Almost all of them. Let’s talk about one I haven’t said much on. Snake Eyes.
Yes, the characters in one of my stories have names that are almost all animal puns and there are actually reasons for it. Kitty was often taunted by people shouting ‘here Kitty, Kitty’. As a child she assumed it was her name. Talon was an uncreative kid who came up with his own name and relating it to the fact that he’s part bird. Arachnea read about the Greek mythology of Arachne and named herself Arachnea after her, since she’s part spider. Snake Eyes didn’t have a name until long after he met the main group. Arachnea used gambling to survive and explained at one point what snake eyes were pertaining to dice. He decided on his name based on that. And finally Caimen, who chose his name not based on what animal he is but what his favorite animal was at the time, a caiman. Keeping in mind that literally all of them are/were children when they named themselves and let’s be honest how many people would have the stupidest name if their 13-year-old-selves were allowed to legally name them? That was my point :D
Anyways back to Snake Eyes.
He’s part snake (black mamba, specifically. Fun!), and is an asshole. The biggest asshole around. You could see this asshole from space.
Physically he’s so fun to draw. He’s of Asian descent (haven’t decided what specifically though), but due to his snake-genes and him being the most animalistic-looking of the group, it’s not easily apparent. I did draw him if he wasn’t gene-spliced though and maaaan, Asian eyes (elapids? Or something like that. The folded quality they have to them?) are a little difficult to draw. I don’t know if it’s because it’s actually difficult or because I never drew them before, but it’s clear I’d have to work on it a bit. His limbs are a bit long for his body, as is his neck. I draw the back of his head a bit differently as well. There’s not much of a hook to it, the back of his skull goes straight to his neck in a smooth slope, and it gives him a more snake-like quality to the shape. He has fully functional venomous fangs (which I always draw reallyreallyreally big, though I should probably think about making them like, not saberteeth XD).
Coloring-wise, Snake Eyes is actually albino. His eyes are indeed pink rather than the usual human albinism coloring of light blue, but since his eyes are ‘snake eyes’ they’re pink and red. He’s also got himself a nifty, super skinny forked tongue and that weird tongue-hole snakes have. His skin is very fair and hair is light blond. Also he doesn’t have eyebrows, because snakes be hairless. So no eyebrows, eyelashes, or body hair (when he gets to the age of body hair doom), but I just couldn’t bring myself to make him bald though. I couldn’t. XD
Snake Eyes, as I’ve mentioned, at the beginning and end of the day, is an asshole. In the place him and the group grew up he was basically deemed everything they wanted him to be. They way they lined up for his genes to go went all exactly to plan, he had the perfect temperament and attitude, no major health problems. Except one: the albinism. So rather than being told he was perfect he was constantly told he was almost perfect. Cancer, eye problems, the albinism made him a risk factor for all that (and more, for when I do more research on albinism). Now, in actuality, the albinism didn’t really put him at a disadvantage for anything they needed him for. The reason they told him that was specifically to make him feel inferior, like he had something to prove. So he’d always, without fail, do everything he was told with little need for restraint because he wanted their approval. And it worked. Snake Eyes grew up with a massive inferiority/superiority complex (I’ve done little research on the two, and thusly am unsure which one fits his behavior more accurately). He constantly put down the other experiments in the same boat as him, antagonizing and reminding them that they’re more flawed than he is, lower ‘rank’ than he is, and completely expendable unlike him; that if it came down to it they might just be used as a guinea pig. All the while he feared his own flaws and needed to remind himself that there were others who were horribly flawed (which they hardly were, but he acted like it anyways to comfort himself).
Eventually, after the facility disapproved of a failed mission of his and his near-death experience because of it, Snake Eyes decided he’d never gain their approval, and that it wasn’t worth it to never hear that he was perfect. And he successfully escaped due to their belief in their control over him and thinking they needed no devices to ensure he didn’t leave. He did stab a tracking chip out of his arm with a dirty sharp rock and nearly bled to death as a result, but he gets saved by lo-and-behold, our ragtag group of escapees that he failed to catch in the first place. And, being a person who will do anything that benefits him regardless of pride or morality, saw fit to join them when Arachnea was willing to put up with his bad attitude. Eventually he comes around and is legitimately on their side, but Arachnea is definitely the main reason he stays, as Kitty and Caimen hate his guts (and he lovingly reciprocates), and Talon and Emily are mildly agreeable towards him at best.
Eventually he grows more confident in himself with some support from Arachnea. Unfortunately for everyone this didn’t result in him putting others down less or becoming less of a pain, but instead becoming completely self-absorbed and convinced of his own greatness. And I honestly love every second of it. And the worst part is that he is as great as he often spouts he is. He’s very intelligent, physically capable, and dangerous to-boot. He’s snarky, sarcastic, and intentionally antagonizing to Kitty and Caimen (purely to prod a reaction or violence from them only for him to smirk that he could enrage them so easily). The only person safe from his prickly tongue is Arachnea (though he was certainly cruel to her at first). He came to admire her quiet backbone and endless compassion (and learned at some point her fist is very painful), and fancies her the only person he doesn’t find annoying and he’s genuinely fond of.
I do have a bit of a romance with him and Arachnea, but there’s a 3-year age gap, so that doesn’t happen until they’re at a much more acceptable age. That, and Snake Eyes is asexual, so it takes him a while to figure out. And though doesn’t fancy Arachnea physically, he enjoys her company and knows she’s the most important person to him and wants it to be reciprocated. Arachnea on the other had is a big fat romantic sap and, while she’s the one that gets a crush first, doesn’t push him to do more than he’s comfortable with. There’s a bit of angst on her side at first after she realizes her feelings for him and her believing it would be completely one-sided. And *cough* when they’re both ConSEntiNG adULtS and whatnot, while he’s completely neutral to the deed, he does ‘pamper’ her from time to time iF yOU kNoW what I’m SAYiN’.
Down the road him and his group will probably get tighter bonds (or at least a somewhat positive relationship), but I haven’t really thought that far ahead in the story. Or at least, I haven’t found the trigger that starts the slow process of them working together better.
P.S., Snake Eyes being an albino black mamba means he’s a white black mamba and that amuses me to no end.
 38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?
Caimen and a side character in the same story as him named Candy (Candace). Caimen is already pretty in-tune to music and rhythm anyhow, and while he doesn’t ‘know’ how to dance, were he ever to take classes he’d be A+ bomb at them. And Candy is a big party girl and, while she’s certainly no professional, knows how to shake it how she likes, albeit she may look silly from time to time :P
 39. Introduce any character you want
Hey, let’s introduce a couple of side characters I have!
Amy and Candy (Candace). These are a couple of minor characters in the story I’m writing with all my half-animal children. They’re part of Talon’s co-workers and a large backstory for them happened to crop up despite me not intending to make one.
Amy and Candy met in the 4th grade. Amy Luong is a very shy Vietnamese girl with a love for writing stories. She’s always alone with her nose stuck in her notebook. One day Candace Carter, a very outgoing Welsh girl, snatches her writing from her hands and reads it. Candy quickly falls in love with the story and characters in the little she scans and makes Amy a deal: They’ll be best friends and make a team. Amy writes the story and Candace plays the roles. They’ll become a famously successful and beloved duo in Hollywood!
And Amy’s reaction is: ‘what the fuck who is this girl give me my notebook back ur rude the hell?’ And calls Candy out on her rudeness, the fact she read her notebook without permission, and is angry that Candy thought any of it would be okay. Candy counters that she’d seen Amy turn people away before when they asked to see the notebook and this was the only way she’d see what’s inside. And while Amy admits to herself that it’s true, it doesn’t make it okay. And she flatly turns down the ‘plan’ Candy laid out for them.
After a lot of pestering, a bit of stalking Amy to her place of residence, a lot more pestering (much to Amy’s chagrin), begrudging hanging-out time at recess, and a fantastic display of acting talent, Amy finally opens up and the two become friends.
And the two work towards the dream little Candy decided for them long ago. Candy works towards the big-screen and Amy strives for a spot behind-the-scenes. They both know it’s a lofty and risky dream, but it’s a dream they want to work for and a dream they have passion for. And with their personalities clashing and working together, there’s certainly no shortage of stories and ideas that have a real chance of getting them into the film industry.
Amy’s very much a shrinking violet kind of person. And while she definitely didn’t appreciate Candy trying to forcefully barge in her life, she’s happy to have her as a friend in the end. She likes all things with a story, from comics to cinema to anime and reading. She’s a very smart and creative girl, but a bit socially awkward and very stubborn.
Candy’s almost the exact opposite; a social butterfly, confident, bullheaded, and a bit manipulative. She loves being in the spotlight and being in charge. She could get behind not only acting, but directing as well. Hollywood is her ideal fantasy and she has the looks, talent, and drive to make it a reality.
These two characters are just fun to write, especially the way they work off each other. Candy especially is a bit odd in that one quickly learns to not make promises or play along with Any of her ‘pretend’ schemes, no matter how ridiculous, cause you never, ever know when she’s serious. Amy accidentally made a blood pact that if they’re still single the day before one of them turns 40 they’re going to elope and marry each other so, as Candy puts it, “no one can call us old spinsters.”
In a little side-story I made, after Amy comes out to Candy, Candy asks if Amy had ever had a crush on her. Amy admits that (while she’s like a sister to her now and couldn’t possibly think of her that way) yes she did have a crush on her when they were younger, a little bit after she’d started warming up to her. She recalls that she squashed the feeling since she was embarrassed by not just a crush, but a crush on a girl, and what Candy or anyone else might think of her. And as time went on she matured and accepted and was happy with herself, and happy her family and friends were accepting and it didn’t matter to them who she was interested in if she was happy. And she tells Candy:
“You were pretty, and clever, and inspiring. And you still are, honestly. And later on the closer we got, the more I got to know the real you, I realized,”
And Candy’s gushing at this point because who doesn’t love compliments?
“That I dodged one hell of a bullet.”
Candy: :|
“Like, Candy I love you, but you are the hot mess of a hot mess. I’d probably pull my hair out if I had to be your girlfriend.”
Candy: :/
“Like my god I feel so bad for your boyfriends. Remember that one time with Andre when you—“
“AlRiGHtY theN hOneSTY hOur’S OVER.”
 40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!
I think my fondest memories are when my characters slapped me in the face and said ‘no that’s not how I act I do things like this’ and go completely opposite of what I envisioned.
Most notably was Kitty, who was originally a design I drew that would represent me and was a blank model I could use for vent art. I didn’t even get to draw her a second time before she seemed to grab me by the collar, shout what kind of person she was exactly, and chucked a random story and two other characters at my face. It’s certainly a decision I’m perfectly happy with, as the result birthed many characters I absolute love and a developing story that’s kept me going for years. It’s definitely the story I’ve stuck with the longest, despite it all not being fleshed out. It’s so much fun.
Second is my character Snake Eyes, who I originally had as a pure villain character and was slated to die. But at some point all these ideas started cropping up about how he’d interact with the other characters in a non-hostile setting and hmmm, I bet he might actually get along with this character. And at that point it felt like he was completely offended I planned to kill him, like, did I even know who he is? How dare I, lol.
 41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)
Yes, I suppose! My friend has drawn my OCs and aaaaaah I die whenever it happens it makes me so happy! She’s a much better artist than I since she’s been at it since she was little, but I love her art style so much and love seeing her take on the characters! AAAAAAA~
 42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?
Arachnea, considering her namesake is based on some Greek mythology. And my character J.C., who’s very lost and doesn’t know what she wants to do in life, but has a passion for history and lore and legends.
 43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favor some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess
Oh dear I do believe so >~< For one I have a bit of a bias towards drawing somewhat attractive people in the face department. I’m not gonna say every one of my characters is Aphrodite or anything, but I certainly haven’t drawn anyone that’d be considered unattractive, at least by my standards. On that note, Emily is probably the most average-looking I’d say, though she’s not unpleasant to look at. I don’t know man. They don’t all have the same face or anything and have a mix of traits that people might consider conventionally attractive or unattractive. Kitty for example is very bony and angular, with a small button nose and very thin lips. Arachnea controversy has a big/wide nose, with full lips, sort of half-lidded eyes and thick eyebrows. Snake Eyes has a very long oval-shaped head, a flattened face, and large eyes. Emily’s got kind of a baby face, with a little nose and eyes, and a really big forehead and freckles all over. Talon has a very square jawline with a prominent nose and wide chin. They’re all different. I guess it depends on your taste on whether or not they’re all attractive? Snake Eyes, going by the description, seems like the most ‘unattractive’ person, but I think he’s one of my cutest ones tbh but eeeeh maybe I’m not the best judge of faces.
Second, in the personality department, I definitely favor my characters that are more animalistic, or have a primal side to them (see: Kit). I mean, I have so many beasty characters for a reason; animals are my passion. So when a character sees the world in the way an animal might, or whose priority in everything is survival, or has a trigger in which they become more beast than man, I get so invested in their psyche. And while not all or even most of my character have that, I certainly favor the ones that do. It’s so interesting to think about.
 44. Something you like about your OCs in general
How fun they are. Even my character Gray, an uptight pantsuit all-professional type lady, is fun to write. And though much of Gray’s humor comes from her being a straight man, she still can roll with the punches and dish it out occasionally. They’re all just a joy to write and watch, mostly when they interact with each other. And I have a blast making their day or breaking their spirits. I love when they do something unexpected that deviates from what I originally imagined.
 45. A character you no longer use?
Tons, I’ve listed a bunch already. Moonshine and 99.99% of all my old Warrior OCs. Plenty of OCs from stories I never and will never finish. There’s so many. I only regularly think and write about a handful of them now.
 46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?
Nope, because no one ever talks to be about my OCs.
 47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?
See above answer.
 48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure
Arachnea and Kit. They deserve nothing of what I do to them. And there’s nothing they can do to stop me.
 49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes
Kit is confirmed to like memes. He’s 100% garbage. He and my friend’s OC write ship fics about the other characters in our RP and send them to each other. Their favorites are the crack pairings and genderbend AUs.
 50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want
Blah I was gonna talk about my OC Kitty, since I’ve mentioned her a bunch but didn’t introduce her. But I made the mistake of going to bed before answering the question and now I’ve lost my motivation so pbbbbbbth. Maybe I’ll go back and edit this one day, but that day is not today!
0 notes