#but i am chosing to translate it as 'he wore so many masks that no one knows his face' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

themadauthorshatter · 3 years

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Guys? I know I just called Tiberias Calore VI, Flame of the North, King of Norta, and Ruler of the burning throne a terrible parent and an alcoholic(which he still is, and I have the time, so I'll call him a terrible parent and an alcoholic), but let's go back in time and get some happiness because that last Red Queen post was, admittedly, just brutal😢.

Hiding a pregnancy was, surprisingly, easier than hiding the affect of the nightmares.

At first, Coriane figured the game would be over as the child inside of her continued to grow more and become more noticable in the trim gowns she usually wore.

Hiding them- the child she didn't yet know- soon became a project, à la fixing a transport.

Rather than have her maids dress her, she had chosen to dress herself instead- a habit she'd picked up on doing since coming to Court. Loose clothing always made her appear smaller than she was, made her look approachable to anyone, despite her place married to a King. It also served her well in hiding the ever growing lump her baby was growing in.

She barely attended training, though, in light of the nightmares taking their physical toll on her body, Tibe had her examined by nurses and healers.

"Your Highness, are you sure you're alright? Your feet are swollen and you seem like there's a weight on you."

When she'd been asked that, she had to stifle the instinct to rub her stomach and instead wrap her arms around herself.

"I'm alright," she replied, more hesitant than she would have liked, but the words smoothing as she continued. "I tried training a while ago and tried a move I shouldn't have. I used some braces, though."

The Healer scowled at her, forgetting Coriane's place as Queen and seeing the stubborn girl that always chose to help herself instead of seek proper assistance.

"I got better. Maybe it's more like... a phantom injury."

"Or you should have come to a Healer when it happened. Can you imagine if you'd set them wrong and didn't know?"

To keep further questions from arising, Coriane only shook her head; Jessamine had taught her well in the art of knowing when to stop a fight from continuing. "No."

The Healer nodded at her and continued to check on her, noting that despite her feet and growing intolerance toward physical contact, she was fine, chalking it up to the Queen's nightmares attacking her body more than her mind.

Still, Coriane remarked as she left the infirmary, eying the bump hidden beneath her thin cardigan, a close call is better than someone finding out.

Another close call occured during a war meeting she attended with Tibe before he had to leave for the front. Even though he was expressionless upon hearing of the attacks on his people, beneath the table his fists shook, either out of anger toawrds the Lakelanders advancing or fear for the safe of what family he had left, fear of losing his mother, despite her prowess, brother-in-law, and wife to a seemjngly unending war.

"Should they make it past the Choke and cross into our boaders, there's hardly a chance we can stop them," the Legionnaire explained. "Our soldiers, although they're trained well enough, keep getting mowed down, as well. They aren't enough man power to hold off an onslaught."

Tibe, who had been sitting quietly in thought, finally spoke up. "For every Red soldier, how many Silvers are on the field?"

"Fifty to one."

When he remained silent, the Legionnaire paled.

"You can't be thinking..."

"If the Reds can't put up a decent fight against the Lakelanders, we'll send in more Silvers to make up the difference."

"With all due respect, my King, surely there is some sort of alternative."

The words drew no reaction from Tiberias, but Coriane lowered her gaze to her hands, picking at her nails to distract herself from the implication.

When Tibe's fingers laced with hers, she welcomed it, welcomed the warmth and closeness their current situation could allow.

"Reds are being conscripted by the minute, more than a hundred by the hour. They can be difference enough."

"Reds don't have power," Tibe seemingly spelled out, scornful as a teacher. "Reds don't have strength. Numbers be damned, if they can't fend off the Lakelanders, we'll have to start sending Silvers to fight."

"Silvers of High Houses? Have them open for slaughter when fifty Reds can get the job done with proper leadership?"

"Your general has trained, led, and been victorious with every Red soldier he's had, what better leadership do Reds have?"

"It is not his fault they're incapable-"

"Can't you just understand it's not working!?" Coriane snapped, drawing every eye to her, including Tibe's, the mask of a warrior King dropping when he took one look at her tear stained face.

"No matter how many Reds you throw at the Lakelanders, they'll be slaughtered without hesitation! You can't shoot down a Magnetron or drown a Nymph, if you have nothing to defend yourself with!"

"Cori," Tibe murmured softly, his tone gentle despite the earlier debate, "that's enough."

The words did their job in soothing the Queen, nodding and apologizing as her husband gently pulled her close to him.

"How soon can we have Silver soldiers sent to the front?"

The finality in Tiberias's words brought the Legionnaire back to the matter at hand.

"As soon as they're ready, though, from what I've heard, they've been training since three months ago."

"Have the most experienced and capable sent to the front while the rest continue training."

With that the meeting ended, and Coriane practically scurried away, if only to avoid the glances from those in attendance.

"If you don't mind my input, I don't understand why bringing the Queen to these meetings is one of your priorities. Do you expect her to keep you safe from unwanted news?"

Tiberias turned, eyes sharp and burning with a fire strong enough to kill.

"She isn't protecting me," he said lowly as he drew closer to the Legionnaire. "She's here to protect you."

In her room, Coriane lay on her side on her bed, her hand caressing her abdomen as her own words echoed in her mind.

Regardless of the fear of losing a fourth child to her nightmares, her emotions had still gotten the better of her.

It's no wonder I shouldn't have come here.

Usually Julian was someone she could turn to during these times, if not him, then Sara, but with archives discovered and needing to be translated, and Healers needed at the front, neither were around for her to talk to.

It was childish, but part of Coriane felt abandoned, even though her brother promised he wouldn't leave her alone.

But how can anyone be brave enough to say no to a King?

Sometimes it was easy to forget, see two people inhabiting Tibe at once: the lonely Prince she'd first met at the banquet and the King that sat upon a throne of flames and blood, strong enough to burn all of Norta to the ground, if he so desired.

And he'd married a poor girl of House Jacos.

What kind of Queen am I, if I can't even bear him a child?

A knock on the door stopped her from building on the thought further.

"Coriane?"

When she remained silent, he knocked again.

"Cori? May I come in?"

She hummed loudly and nodded, and Tibe walked in and shut the door behind him, missing when she grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest.

Despite his strength, his rank, the ability at his fingertips, the myriad of metals she'd seen him wear, even the control he held over a room of other Silvers, he seemed... smaller, unsure as he carefully sat next to her.

He's the King, and he's the one who's scared?

"Are you alright?" He asked as he rested a hand on her upper arm. "I know the meetings aren't easy to handle, but I don't think I've seen you get so upset."

Upset was putting it more than lightly. Three nights of waking up to blood staining the sheets and missing a child before it was born made her more than upset. Hiding her fourth pregnancy from her own husband, out of desperation for the child's safety more than her own, made her more than upset. Fearing for Elara Merandus attacking her mind, even with Arven outside her door, made her more than upset.

"Yes, I'm fine," was all that came out instead.

Neither spoke for a while, leaving them in cursed silence.

That was until Tibe's hand clenched around her arm, just enough to let her know she wasn't alone.

"Don't lie to me," he said, pleadingly so. "I know there's something you're not telling me."

Coriane held the pillow closer to her, the tips of her fingers just brushing against her stomach.

He knows. He knows. He knows. He found out, and now he knows.

But Tibe turned his head away, looking back as his brow furrowed.

"It's Elara, isn't it?"

Coriane met his eyes and pushed herself up. "I don't know. Maybe it was before, but now..."

Now, with Rane Arven outside her door, an attack from Elara didn't seem likely. It didn't quell her fears entirely, but it was a comfort she welcomed, all the same.

Tibe's hand glided to her own, the warmth of his skin and body a blessing.

"Do you think House Merandus would do well on the front?"

Coriane gasped and whipped her gaze to him. "Tibe, you can't make that happen, and you know it."

"And Elara knows you are the Queen. If she wants a fight, she can glady have one to write home about. Whispers usually do well in a war," he said with an averted gaze and a shrug.

"But Merandus is one of the highest Houses. You know as well as everyone else what could happen, if they became an enemy."

Hers words settled in Tibe, leading him to sigh and stare at the floor.

"You're right. Damn it."

Hearing those words, and seeing her own husband pout like a child, drew a small grin from Coriane.

"As usual."

Tiberias turned his gaze back to her. "'As usual?' What do you mean, 'as usual?'" He asked incredulously as a smirk grew on his face.

Coriane merely shrugged and buried her face into her pillow. "Nothing. Just that I'm always right."

Although his jaw dropped, his smile remained, and Coriane giggled as she lie on her side, her facing him.

"You're always right?" He dared.

"Yes."

"You're the one who's always right?"

Coriane gasped, "You admit it?"

Quickly, and gently, Tibe pulled her back up until she was upright and hugged her close, her back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, Coriane yelping and giggling more than she thought she would, even when he gave her soft, butterfly kisses on her neck and shoulder.

"Who's always right?" He asked as he rested his chin on her shoulder, Coriane lightly chuckling after he stopped.

"Me."

"Wrong," he replied quickly before kissing her cheek and temple, driving his wife into another fit of laughter.

"Will you stop that!?" Coriane exclaimed, even with a smile on her face, "You're prickly and I don't feel good!"

"Then admit I'm always right and..." Tibe lowered to his side, Coriane nearly falling with him. Her heart skipped a beat as he cradled her body against his, one arm around her chest as the other rested over her upper arm. "Tell me what's wrong," he replied softly.

Coriane only grasped onto his arm with her hands.

I'm pregnant, she nearly said. I've been pregnant for a while now. I haven't told you or anyone else because I can't risk losing this one, too, or put you through more loss than you already have. Even if Elara is the reason I can barely sleep at night, I can't lose another child. Not for his or her sake, and not for yours, either.

She sighed, maintaining her smile from the onslaught of kisses moments ago.

"Fine. Yon win. You're always right. Happy?"

Tibe chuckled lightly and shook his head against her hair.

"That's not what I meant. Please tell me what's wrong."

It was like her uncle's funeral banquet, when Jessamine noticed her crying after dressing her for the occasion.

"Tibe, do you miss them? Julian and Sara?"

Tibe remained silent, his thumb rubbing her shoulder as Coriane continued.

"I know it hasn't been that long, but I do. I'm glad that you're here, Tibe, I really am. I don't know, I just miss them being here."

Tibe leaned up and kissed her cheek before nuzzling into her shoulder.

"I miss them, too, Cori. They'll be back soon, I promise."

Like in the meeting, their fingers laced together.

"In the meantime, I hope I can make up for them."

Coriane nodded and held her head against his. "You already do, Tibe," she replied softly.

Tibe held her closer, feeling his Queen's body effectively relax under his touch.

After a while of silence, blissful and welcome, Tibe kissed her cherk and sat up.

"Where are we again on sending House Merandus to the front?"

Coriane snagged the pillow she'd dropped and swatted him in the chest. "Stop that," she exclaimed.

The look of a challenge returned to Tibe's face as he took the pillow and tossed it back to the head of the bed. "Openly attacking your King? Whatever shall I do with you?"

Coriane inched back toward her lost weapon. "Don't you dare come near me with that prickly stubble or I'm shaving it off myself!"

Tiberias faked a gasp and held a hand over his heart. "And now you've threatened the King! You traitor," he chided playfully.

Coriane only reclaimed her pillow and held it back for another strike. "Try me."

Tibe fought a snicker and nodded, holding his hands up in surrender. "Alright. You win."

Coriane lowered her pillow as Tibe kissed her lips and held his forehead against hers.

"I'll tell anyone who asks you're sick and need to be alone while you heal. Just rest now, alright?"

Coriane nodded.

Tibe stood and turned to leave the room, brisk as he had been trained to do.

A King's work is never truly done, Coriane remarked before he stopped and looked back at her.

"Is there anything you'd like me to bring back later?"

Coriane blanched and shook her head. "You don't have to. I can... ask for the chef myself, in case you're..."

Tibe only returned to her and held her hands. "Cori, please."

Again, there was that desperation in his eyes, as if Tibe saw nothing but the girl he'd met many years ago and was willing to do anything to keep her alive.

He could have chosen someone else, someone stronger, but he chose you. You are his Queen.

Coriane nodded stiffly, uncomfortable and still unfamiliar with being served in Court.

Tibe placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her forehead, holding her close. "I'll try to be back as soon as I can. Please. Get some rest."

"I will," Coriane replied as she placed a hand over his.

With that, he exited her room, reluctant in spite of his promise to return.

Coriane could only smile as she rubbed her stomach, carefully unmarred and thankfully unnoticed.

It was a blessing she still had the boy she'd met, that the crown hadn't taken him away just yet.

#red queen #tiberias calore vi #coriane jacos #it's a rough start but the ending is worth it I promise #ship fanfic #never trust a prickly stubble #miscarriage tw #blood tw #angsty start #fluffy ending #i am an absolute asshole for putting in that last sentence!!!

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btskismet · 5 years

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Kismet (Chapter 10): A BTS Jin imagines fanfic

First ever fanfic. Contains fluff and some smut. Please read sequentially as it is a long story arc. Please provide feedback! My IG is btskismet.

1330. The shinkansen and train rides for 6 hours wore them out that much to make them sink into the bed at Hotel Sonia Otaru that afternoon. They both gave out a large sigh when they lay on top of the bed. The trip was beautiful and scenic from Aomori to Otaru, especially when the train was close to the seashore and the sea stretched out from the side of the train before the port city of Otaru came into view.

However, it was slightly stressful from Sapporo to Otaru. They didn't expect that there would be many people at Sapporo station, given that it was a Tuesday morning but there seemed to be a rush of people leaving to get to the airport.

Seokjin turned to her and started to move his hands across her body. She looked at him curiously. "Hmmm... ", she sighed. She gave him a soft peck on the nose when he moved up to face her. "I propose we stay in for now. This room looks so stately and refined and..." She was at a loss on the next word to describe the room.

"French?", Seokjin said as he lied flat on his back beside her, looking at the ceiling with her and noticing the gold chandelier she was looking at.

She smiled and said, "I didn't want to come off as too obvious but yes, French. Young, modern French. Not old, stuffy French."

"Neoneun wanjeon gwiyeowo!", she heard Seokjin say to her. It took her a couple of seconds to realize that she didn't get the translation to what he said and blurted out to him what did you say in English.

Seokjin's face looked confused and he realized too that he didn't get the translation. They both took their earpieces off and placed them on the bedside table as she took out the translator device and charged it.

They lied down again in the bed in silence. She ran through her head how important that device was to them. At any given time it had to be fully charged, they would have 30 minutes of silence together. This usually happened during the shinkansen trips wherein she would charge it and they would be asleep or using their phones. But she forgot to do so on their ride from Aomori to Otaru as they were constantly chatting about the places they would visit. Since they had 3 days to spare before they would separate, they discussed what they each wanted to do and what they can do together.

It felt a little awkward not saying anything as she knew they both depended on the translator. She was waiting for Seokjin to get his phone to play his games or listen to music but he didn't. Instead, he slid his arm under her head and cuddled her.

"I love you.", he said in English.

She knew that's how she felt about him too but she was a little scared to say it. What will happen on their last day? She would have to go back home and he would have to go back to SoKor. It made her really emotional thinking about it.

"I love you too, Seokjin. I'm scared to lose you though.", she admitted. Tears started trickling down her cheeks.

His fingers wiped away her tears. "Don't cry. I am here.", he said.

Seokjin then gave her a soft kiss. She was trying her best not to think of their last day. They were having so much fun together. Their travels were difficult but it showed them that they can rely on each other. Trips like these usually test couples to see if they could get along throughout the trip or tick each other off. The fact they were still smiling and alive proved to her they could go through even longer trips and more.

She experienced being with the real Seokjin: a crazy, goofy man who was also intense and sometimes stubborn and impatient yet nurturing and dependable. She thought he could do no wrong but his impatience and somewhat commanding aura, especially when he wanted something, irritated her sometimes.

He was so different from how he is onstage and she felt honored to know him this well. Then again, he felt somewhat familiar to her too so her adjustment to him wasn't so difficult.

He stopped kissing her to look at her. "No cry anymore, ok?", he said. She nodded and smiled at him. He smiled and closed his eyes and went back to kissing her.

In the number of times he kissed her, he was either so intense or passionate. But today, he was gentle with her.

He started making out with her on the bed, kissing her softly and breaking off from the kiss to lightly peck her eyelids, her forehead and neck. She felt a wave of calmness as he started to hug her tighter and continued to slowly kiss her lips and bury his face on her neck and cheek.

Seokjin took a deep whiff of her scent and said, "I will not forget...", and continued to bury his face onto her neck and shoulder.

"Me too...", she whispered, bringing him closer to her, as she etched into her memory that moment of their embrace.

~~~~~

A few travel blogs mention that it is best not to travel to Otaru in November. Otaru is known for being a picturesque city when blanketed in snow. So, the absence of snow makes the town pretty but not as Instagram worthy as how it would be if it was winter.

This was one of the reasons she chose this place as the destination for their trip instead of Sapporo. People would still flock to the city if they were interested to look at the quaint, historical buildings around but the snow is the biggest draw. Though Otaru would be chilly during Autumn, it may snow or not. As expected, there were less crowds today which allowed Seokjin and her to walk with ease and without masks.

She was happy that Seokjin was interested to see most of the architecture and was eager to visit the music box museum. She had to bargain this destination initially with him but after he saw the photos, he was sold. The Mt. Tengu ropeway is still a place they had to discuss about if they have time to go there the next day. He also had to decide if they would still go fishing at Shakotan sea on their last day or just go through the beer and sake tasting. JHope and their manager would be flying in to Sapporo in the afternoon so he wasn't sure if it was best to meet them right away when they arrive or not. Either way, Seokjin had to decide soon so they could book the fishing trip if ever.

They rented a car this time so they could go to places faster. Since Seokjin had a license, he also thought it would be the best time for him to drive without any of the members scolding him. "Yoongi thinks I'm too brazen as a driver. Not really paying attention to the road."

"I think I remember this. He was scolding you when you were driving around Malta for the missions.", she said.

He started laughing hard and nodded. "Ahh, Yoongi was nervous but he was trying to act cool about it. He couldn't complain so much on camera."

As they were approaching the car, Seokjin asked, "You also wanted to visit that temple, right?"

"Shrine and temple. Please?", she said sweetly. She was referring to the Suitengu shrine that had 100 steps to the top with a beautiful view of the sea and the Tenjoji temple, which was close to Sakamichi shopping street.

"Let's choose one. Honestly, I'm not too keen about the 100 steps to that shrine. It'll tire us out too much!", Seokjin exclaimed.

She said a soft aawww ok as a response. "What is it with you and these temples? You really like going to them a lot.", he asked as he was starting the car.

"Well, during my solo trip to Kyoto, I went to almost all the shrines and temples I could visit and prayed. I'm not really a religious person though I'm Catholic. But I prayed and wished for the same thing in each of these shrines and temples and my wish came true. Since then, I try to visit as many as I can. Plus, I like how soothing it is to go to one and just unload all your negativity there because you feel calmer after."

Seokjin was nodding as she shared, making sure to follow the GPS on his phone to the Otaru Shukutsu Panorama Observation Deck. "Ok, but your last visit wasn't so peaceful."

"Yes. I'd like to treat that as an exception. I hope we can leave at that.", she said quietly, not really wanting to discuss it further.

Seokjin stopped at a red light and looked at her. He reached out for her hand and squeezed it before driving forward when the light turned green.

~~~~~

The Otaru Observation Deck is 70 meters above sea level and has a beautiful view of the Sea of Japan. Hotels Neuschloss is right brside the deck and it was one of the hotels she was eyeing for their trip. Unfortunately, it was fully booked for their dates. So, a trip to the deck was the closest thing to do to enjoy the view.

The hotel, the Otaru Aquarium and lighthouse could be seen on the deck but the seaview is the reason people go up there. It stretched out as far as the eye can see and its blue water had a similar color as the blue sky, as if they were connected as a seamless piece of blue cloth.

Seokjin placed his arm on her shoulders and pulled her close. They stood on the deck, admiring the sight silently, listening to the waves, the sounds of people from afar and the birds around the cliff.

She looked at him and saw his eyes were closed, breathing in the salty, fresh air. "I'm glad you're here with me to see this.", she said. "I was close to doing this alone but I'm happy I'm not."

He looked at her and smiled, "I wouldn't even be here if I didn't meet you. I wouldn't even think of doing this. You made me experience a lot of things these past few days. I'm grateful."

"Didn't you ever travel a lot before being a part of BTS?", she asked.

"Well, when I studied in Australia, I got to visit a couple of places. Also a few areas in my country. I travelled with my Dad to other countries during his business trips but I was younger then so I don't remember everything. But the most amount of travelling I've done that I really remember is with BTS.", he shared. "I like staying at home, I guess. But it's great to travel without so many people telling you where to go and what to do. I like it that you asked me what I want in this trip and we did them. It felt... refreshing."

She smiled. "I could put up my own travel agency then. So glad that you are a satisfied customer."

He laughed and hugged her. It was heartwarming to know he was enjoying the trip. She worried about the commute, the room and everything else. Knowing he would remember this as a happy vacation made her feel content.

"Ok, so I am getting really hungry . Where are we going to get some food?", Seokjin asked, rubbing his tummy.

She smiled slyly and said, "Are you up for some all-you-can-eat buffet? There's a buffet restaurant near the canal that serves lobster."

Seokjin's eyes grew wide and he took her hand to walk her back to the car. She was laughing all the way as he dragged her quickly and kept asking her to hurry.

--- to be continued ---

#bts imagination #bts imagines #bts fanfction #bts jin #btskismet #bts fic #bts

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god--baby · 6 years

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satisfaction brought you back ch 3 (nsfw)

kylo ren x ambiguously gendered reader

chapter one, chapter two

previously on: the morning after the first night you spend with Commander Ren, you discover him to be different than you’d believed. food is wasted, a nap is taken, and the Force is abused.

summary: the next day, you confront the Commander about his behavior. a surprise, an old friend, and a hard day. warning: choking.

word count: 5230

tag list: @bowers1989 @bisexualbitchbabe @neciafire @yaboicringe @paper-queer-plane

When you woke, the Commander was gone. You rolled over, looking out at the kitchen and dining area of the sizeable chambers, looking for him.

Nothing. But you heard the shower in the refresher shut off. And then a faint tune. He was humming to himself.

You got out of bed, stretching, pushing your hair around until it was something more presentable.

And then the memory of the night before hit you.

Again, he had used the Force to get what he wanted. He made you eat, he. He made you have sex with him. You’d have done anything under the influence of his Force command.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You could deal with this. You were plenty strong, you were… possibly not strong enough.

But you’d be damned if you weren’t going to try.

You walked over to the open door of the refresher, leaning against the doorjamb, watching as he meticulously shaved his face.

You opened your mouth to begin, then shut it and sighed, forcing air hard through your nose.

“Good morning, little one,” he said, beating you to the punch.

“Good morning,” you said, strategically keeping his chosen title out of your mouth. “Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” he asked, dragging a razor over his neck, his jaw.

“You know what,” you said, voice hushed.

Like someone had punched you, you had little air to lend itself to this situation.

“I’ve done many things since you arrived,” he said, easy. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

You took a deep breath, held it, let it out.

“You used the Force on me,” you said. “To get me to eat. To get me to have sex with you.”

He finished the long drag of the razor against his skin, then looked at you.

“I had to,” he said. “You were going to starve yourself.”

You looked at your feet.

“It was just breakfast,” you said.

“You went without lunch as well,” he pointed out.

“I slept through it. I wasn’t even aware lunch was brought to me.”

He sighed and set his jaw.

“Are you saying,” he said slowly, “that had you been awake, you would have eaten? Are you saying that I made the wrong choice?”

“I’m saying that you’ve made many wrong choices when it comes to me,” you said.

He picked the razor back up again and set to finishing his face.

You took a shaky breath, just watching him.

“When you want something,” you explained, “you should ask. And wait for the answer. And respect it.”

“I’m not a child,” he snapped, pulling the razor away from his face and glaring at you.

“Of course, you’re not,” you said. “That’s the problem.”

His face contorted and then went back to impassive in less than a second. It was more of a strange twitch than anything else.

“If you had asked me if I wanted to eat dinner with you,” you said, “I may have said yes. But as it is, I don’t know what I would have said, not for sure. You took my choice from me.”

He huffed out a breath through his nose.

“And the sex,” you continued. “I don’t know if I would have wanted it or not. You took that from me. You just take what you want.”

“Go away,” he said, his voice easy, a mask not unlike his helmet. A mask of perfect control.

You knew it so well because you wore one of your own. You were wearing it right then.

You went away.

Faced with nothing else to think about, you found you were still in the robe you’d fallen asleep in yesterday morning. You went to where your bag was still sitting on one of the tall dining area chairs, and pulled out the shirt and trousers your handlers had chosen for you to put on when the plan was one night only, when you were supposed to finish with whoever chose you and put your fresh clothes on, and go back to your house, fucked out and a little more rich than before.

The shirt and trousers were both silk, the shirt white and billowy, the trousers black and tight. You pulled on the clean undergarments you’d brought with you and then changed right there, in the dining area, into your clean clothes.

Less than a minute later, the Commander came out of the refresher with a towel still around his hips. For a bare moment, he looked surprised to see you dressed. Then his face went back to being as impassive as it could be.

He passed you and went to the panel on the wall that opened to serve as his closet. He put on boots, trousers, an undershirt. The base of his usual uniform.

When your interest in what he was doing waned, around about the time he settled on the long couch facing the bed with his datapad in hand, you dug in your bag, finding your hairbrush and taking it to the refresher.

You spent an inordinately long amount of time fixing your hair, mussing it up and fixing it again.

And then you found that you were avoiding him. Sighing, you made your hair obey you one last time, and then put down your hairbrush, and went out into the rest of the chambers.

He was sipping a glass of water, his datapad set on the couch to his left, staring out into the air above the bed.

Without realizing you were doing it, you walked over, sitting tentatively on the couch beside him. On his right, the side not taken up by his datapad.

“Am I allowed to touch you,” he began, “or would that, too, be an invasion?”

You huffed out a breath through your nose and then leaned on him, your head on his upper arm.

He looked down at you with surprise, then shifted, putting his arm around you.

“I don’t understand why you’re upset,” he said.

You sighed.

“I have faith that you will,” you said.

A small ding! came from his datapad, and he picked it up. He unlocked it and scrolled, tapping here and there.

“Your house has sent you some clothes and other belongings,” he said softly. “And I have been granted an hour away from work this morning to take you to collect them.”

“Oh,” you said, surprised. That was fast. They must have spent a lot of gas to deliver them all the way out here, so far from home. Lightspeed gas. “Oh.”

“Are you not pleased?” he asked.

“I am,” you said. “I’m also… surprised. I didn’t know I was worth such great effort.”

“You underestimate yourself,” he said.

Shocked, you looked up at him. But you had nothing you felt you could say, so you remained quiet.

A tap came at the door, and then it opened. The same droid as yesterday morning came in, seemingly relieved to find neither of you in compromising positions.

As if this wasn’t intimate enough, your head on his shoulder, his arm around you.

As if this wasn’t compromising, too much of your heart showing.

The droid said, “Hello, Master Ren, hello…” and its scanners fell on you.

“You can call me El,” you said. “And you are?”

“KN-10,” it burbled. “At your service.”

You smiled.

“KN-10,” you repeated. “It’s a pleasure to officially meet you.”

It gave a bow, jerky and graceless.

“I brought the two of you the breakfast requested,” it said.

“Yes, thank you, KN-10,” said the Commander.

KN-10 deposited the plates it carried on the tall table and bowed again. As it stepped back away to the door, it said, “if you are in need of further assistance, I am assured you know how to alert me.”

“Actually, KN-10,” said the Commander, “we will be needing assistance this morning. In forty-five minutes, meet us at the landing bay. We will have baggage that will need to be brought back to my chambers.”

“As you wish, Master Ren,” said the droid, putting one of its metal hands to its chest plate.

It bowed one last time and left the chambers.

“Will you eat with me today?” the Commander asked, voice soft.

You made a small smile.

“I’m not particularly hungry,” you said, “after last night’s meal. But I will eat some, and I want the rest to be saved.”

“Why?” he asked, not hiding his bewilderment.

You made the most valiant effort not to laugh.

“For lunch,” you chuckled. “If I can’t eat it all, I want the rest to be saved for later.”

“Aren’t courtesans supposed to be wasteful?” he asked. “Living such a luxurious life?”

“It isn’t all as luxurious as it seems,” you said, teasing. “Besides, isn’t the Commander of the First Order supposed to be more sensible?”

For a moment, you saw something flash behind his eyes, and you shrunk away, sure you’d made a mistake in teasing him. But then his gaze softened, and he laughed.

“If you insist,” he said. “Come, let’s eat.”

You stood first, him quickly following you. You both got settled at the table, and you began silently picking at your food, eating the fruit and little else. He ate all of his food, then gestured for you to take your food to the refrigerator. You did, and then stood by as he put on the rest of his daily uniform. Realizing that you were barefoot, you put on your sandals.

He picked up his helmet, seeming to weigh in his mind whether he should wear it or not. Then he made his decision, putting it on. And he gestured at the door, for you to follow him.

And follow him, you did. Through long hallways and around quick turns, into and out of elevators. You listened closely to his breathing, how it translated through the vocoder. You didn’t like it, not one bit.

He seemed to be less than human, less than a man whose bed you’d shared, when he wore his helmet.

You wondered, briefly, as you were in the final stretch before the landing bay, why you were trying so hard today to like him. After he’d abused your mind, used your body.

What was it about him that drew you in? Was it that you got glimpses of a man that no one else had seen? Was it that you saw him without the helmet more often than not?

Or was it that you were far from home, with no one you knew to save you from having so much time alone, or alone with him?

You rounded the corner into the landing bay, and you scanned the wide space for your bags and found a surprise. You broke into a run, practically sprinting across the large room, into the arms of Ay. She laughed, and you picked her up, spinning her around.

“Ay!” you cried, happy tears coming to your eyes. It may have only been two days ago that you saw her last, but for some reason, it felt like an eternity. “What are you doing here?”

“All right, all right,” she said, pulling herself from your embrace, “that’s enough maudlin emotion for a lifetime.”

“You didn’t answer me,” you laughed as the Commander finally arrived, having walked possibly to spare his dignity.

“Well, we were going to just send your stuff with a droid, you know. DT5 had no maintenance to do, so we thought we’d send her. But then, the General requested my presence for the night,” she explained.

You glanced at the Commander. One of his eyebrows was up.

His eyebrow was right. That was interesting.

“What a lucky girl you are,” you said, hiding a laugh in your voice.

“Not as lucky as you,” she said, pointedly looking at the hickey on your neck, still purple and not going anywhere.

“Ay,” you warned.

“All right,” she said. “Where are we going?”

You looked up at the Commander. Then back at her.

“The General hasn’t provided you with a space?” you asked.

“No,” she said. And then she lowered her voice. “I get the feeling he doesn’t want me in his quarters alone.”

Just then, KN-10 arrived, bumbling and apologetic.

“So sorry, Master Ren,” it buzzed. “There was a small mishap in the kitchen.”

The Commander’s mouth twitched with displeasure.

You spoke before he had a chance.

“That’s all right, KN-10,” you said. “We understand. Please, meet my friend Ay. She’s also a courtesan.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mistress Ay,” KN-10 said, holding out one of its shiny hands.

Ay let out a small laugh, you were sure in reaction to being called Mistress. But still, she shook the droid’s hand.

“KN-10,” said the Commander. “Get a cart and help us carry their bags back to my chambers.”

You looked up at him in surprise.

“Are you sure you want Ay to come back to your chambers with me?” you asked.

“I said what I said,” he said stiffly.

You looked away.

“Yes, sir,” you said.

The Commander watched KN-10 take Ay’s bag from her, and Ay lifted an eyebrow in your direction. You made the smallest shrug possible, something you were sure she caught. You and her had been communicating like this in front of clients for years. You were assured that she could read what you were silently saying.

When KN-10 was done loading the bags onto a cart, the Commander turned on his heel and led the way out of the landing bay.

“Are you hungry?” you asked Ay, slipping an arm through hers as you followed the Commander. “I still have most of my breakfast left.”

“I could eat,” she said. “Why?”

You knew she was asking why you had food left over.

“I’ll explain later,” you said.

You could tell by the tense shape of the Commander’s shoulders that he was listening. And that he didn’t like what he was hearing.

“You don’t have to,” said Ay, eyes on the Commander’s back.

You both spoke slowly, drawing the conversation out.

“Okay,” you said, knowing perfectly well that you would. “How’s everyone?”

She laughed.

“Gee is mooning over Captain Phasma. Seems she didn’t get enough.”

You heard a well disguised laugh fall from the Commander’s vocoder.

“Poor girl,” you mused. “I was thinking — when you go back home, tell her she can have my ladies. I don’t know when I’ll be back, and if any of them ask for me, she can have them.”

Ay smiled at you.

“I’m sure she’d love that. Your ambassador, especially.”

You smiled back. Your ambassador was a point of pride. She always paid more than asked, and tipped well. She even brought you gifts and often fed you when your session was over.

“I’m sure,” you said.

“But what about your men?” she asked. “And everyone else?”

“Well, there’s a gentleman — you know the one — that you should take. He’s more your type, anyway. And Mx. Black, xe would be perfect for Jay.”

“Mm,” she hummed as you finally arrived at the Commander’s chamber door. “Hir kinks would fit nicely with him, honestly.”

“I know.”

The Commander punched in the door code as both you and Ay looked away. And then he walked in, placing a hand on the doorjamb so it wouldn’t close before all of you were inside.

You and Ay walked in together, followed by KN-10 and the cart of luggage. Ay pulled away from you, and the both of you helped the droid unload the bags. She spared a glance around the chambers, showing no emotion.

When the bags were unloaded, the Commander picked up his datapad, tapping at the screen.

“I have ordered a routine check-up for you, KN-10,” he said. “And a shining.”

“Oh, Master Ren, you are too kind,” the droid burbled, putting a hand to its chest plate.

The Commander took off his helmet, smiling.

“That will be all, KN-10,” he said.

The droid bowed to all of you in turn, then exited the chambers with the empty cart in tow.

“Little one,” the Commander said. “Come here.”

You obeyed, walking up to him, putting yourself into his open embrace. He bent down and pressed a short kiss to your forehead, and you forced yourself to think kind thoughts about him.

It wasn’t actually that hard, to think kindly of him. Especially with how tender he was in that moment.

“I trust you will be awake for lunch today?” he asked, pulling back and looking your face over.

“Yes, sir,” you said.

His brow furrowed.

Before he had a chance to say anything, you said, “yes, Daddy.”

“Good, little one. I’ll see you when I’m through with work.” And then he turned to Ay. “And if I don’t see you again, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

“The pleasure was all mine,” Ay said, inclining her head.

And then the Commander put on his helmet, and left.

As soon as the doors were closed behind him, Ay absolutely crowed.

“Daddy?” she laughed. “Really?”

“Stop!” you insisted.

“No, I’m sorry,” she laughed. “I just… I should have guessed. You’re such a bottom, you attracted the absolute nastiest, kinkiest man here.”

“Kinkiest?” you asked. “Really? What about the General? He choked you!”

“You say that like the Commander wouldn’t want to choke you. Like he wouldn’t, given half the chance.”

“He’s had several chances,” you pointed out. “And he hasn’t taken them.”

“Hm,” she hummed, the laugh falling from her face. “Well. We’ll see, I guess.”

“You guess,” you teased. “Whatever. Did they pack my cologne? I haven’t showered since the first night I was here.”

She chuckled and pointed at the smallest of your bags, the one you assumed was for toiletries. You opened it and dug around, finding your cologne and more — your favorite bath soap, your shampoo and conditioner, a glove made of exfoliating fabric. You sighed happily, taking the whole bag with you to the refresher.

Over your shoulder, you said, “don’t touch the bed. I’m not allowed to be in it when he’s not around.”

You saw Ay give you a shitty little salute before you got in the refresher, starting the shower.

It was one of the damn best showers you’d ever had, luxurious and slow. When you were out, you dried off with the same towel the Commander had used. That in itself was such an intimate gesture, that you stopped halfway through and got yourself a fresh towel, finishing off.

When you were done, you stepped out into the chambers again to find Ay half sitting, half laying on the long couch. She was tapping away at her datapad, and didn’t look up when you went to your bag, taking out a soft pajama set and a new robe.

“I’m telling everyone they can have your clientele until further notice,” she said.

“Good,” you said, dropping your towel and getting dressed.

It didn’t matter to you if she saw you. Of course it didn’t. Why would it? She knew all of you, inside and out. You’d changed in front of her before, and she’d returned the favor in kind.

“Really?” she asked as she set down her datapad. “You’re just going to wear pajamas all day?”

“Better than wearing nothing like the last day or so,” you said, belting your fresh robe.

“Explain.”

You did. And then you told her everything else, how you’d been sleeping and he’d come and woken you up, used the Force on you so you’d eat, so you’d sleep with him. As the story went on, her anger grew until she was bouncing one leg, eyes full of fire.

“That absolute bastard,” she ground out.

“I know, Ay, but what can I do?” you asked. “He’s got me for the foreseeable future.”

“I hate myself for even thinking this, El,” she said, propping her chin up with one finger, “but maybe you should just do exactly what he says. Don’t give him a reason to force you to do anything.”

You flushed and looked away.

“You think that’ll help?” you asked.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I hate it, but it might be your only chance. Eventually, he’ll get bored and let you come home.”

“I want that so much,” you said, small tears welling up in your eyes. “I miss all of you so much. And the house. Even our handlers.”

“Well, they don’t miss you,” she said, voice teasing, trying to get you to stop crying before you’d really started. “You’re off earning the most credits we’ve ever seen. They want you here as long as you can be here.”

“You’re awful,” you sniffled.

“Oh, I know,” she said.

And then you both looked at each other and collapsed laughing.

You spent the afternoon happy together. Talking about the gossip from home, the client she’d served while she was there for just a day. About how his mustache had tickled horribly, how she’d had to hold in laughter as he’d gone down on her. Lunch arrived, and you ate at the table, side by side. You video-called Gee and teased her about Captain Phasma for a while.

It was good.

And then Ay had to start the long process of her getting-ready routine. Showering and meticulously shaving, curling her hair, oiling her skin. Touching up her nail polish and exfoliating the soles of her feet.

Around dinner time, a knock came at the door. You went over and opened it. A short droid beeped at you.

The General’s courtesan, it said. It’s time.

“Of course,” you murmured.

You retreated back into the chambers and told Ay. She picked up her bags and awkwardly hugged you goodbye, then left.

You were left in the empty chambers, waiting.

And you stayed waiting, for hours. Hours passed as you laid on the couch, then moved to sitting at the dining table, then set to pacing around the chambers. You got yourself a glass of water. You gulped it down.

But the anxiety that was building in your stomach wouldn’t go away. What was taking him so long? Where was he?

It grew so late that you had resigned yourself to another long sleep on the couch when the doors opened and the Commander swept into the room. He still had his helmet on, and you could tell by his ragged breathing that something had happened. He slipped off his helmet and threw it onto the couch, rushing over to you. You held out your arms and he went into them, letting you throw them around his neck, standing on your toes to reach that high.

“Daddy,” you murmured into his shoulder. “Where were you? I was worried.”

“You were not,” he said, voice gruff. “Don’t lie to me.”

You sighed and pulled back so you could look him in the eye.

“I give you express permission to read my mind,” you said. “You’ll see. I was worried.”

“Minds are not read, little one,” he said, even as you felt something brush up against your mind. “They are not books.”

You ignored that comment, saying, “so you see? I was worried.”

“You were,” he said, lifting a hand to rest at the base of your throat. “Fascinating. Good, little one.”

And then he gave your throat a squeeze. It was not gentle, not even a little bit. You gasped, hands shooting to his.

“Daddy,” you said, voice just a touch strangled.

Holding you by the throat, he walked you back towards the bed, pushing you down on it.

“Daddy had a very — hard — day at work today, little one,” he said. “And you’re going to help him with it. Aren’t you?”

You nodded, hands still on his where it wrapped around your throat.

“Of course,” you whispered.

“But first, I need to punish you, little one,” he said. “For telling your little friend all our secrets.”

You whimpered and squirmed.

“I trust her,” you said.

“I don’t,” he growled.

And then he dropped his hand from your throat, and stepped away from you.

“Take your clothes off,” he said. “And get over my lap.”

You blanched. But you got up and did what you were told, walking away and laying first your robe and then your pajama set down on the couch, then coming back to where he was now sitting on the side of the bed. You scrambled into his lap, not laying over it, but straddling him, winding your fingers into his hair. You pressed your lips to his, and he growled into the kiss, hands going to your ass and squeezing.

“Little one,” he scolded when the kiss was over. “I told you to get over my lap.”

“And I want a kiss,” you said simply.

“Unbelievable,” he sighed.

“Hush,” you said, putting a gentle hand to the side of his face. And then you pulled him in for another kiss. He sighed into it as you nibbled on his bottom lip, as you pulled just slightly on his hair.

“That’s enough, little one,” he said, pulling away when you tried to take a breath. “Get over Daddy’s lap, right now.”

You sighed, pecked him again on the lips, and then adjusted so you were only straddling one of his legs, laying forward so your chest was on the bed beside him.

It was then that it struck you he was still fully dressed. Entirely dressed. Boots and gloves still on.

And as he landed the first strike on your ass, you gasped. It felt… different when someone did this with gloves on. Leather gloves, to be exact. You’d been spanked by a woman wearing silk gloves, and that was nothing like this, if you were honest with yourself.

He laid into you, strike after strike, holding you still with one hand wrapped around your hip. He said nothing, just grunting and breathing hard as he spanked you. Then he slowed, three slow strikes, no less powerful than the last. And he stopped. And he reached between your legs.

“Does that get you going, little one?” he asked. “Does a good spanking turn you on?”

You nodded, frantic, as one of his fingertips played at your hole.

“Answer me,” he snapped, and you realized he hadn’t seen.

“Yes, Daddy,” you said. “Please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” he said, a hint of teasing in his voice, a flash back to the first night you’d spent with him.

“Daddy, please, I want — I want you to finger me,” you begged. “I want you inside me.”

“Like this?” he asked, slipping one leather-clad finger into you.

You sighed, a sound that turned into a sob as he pulled his finger out of you, slow, then added another.

“Or like that?” he asked.

“Like that,” you said, tears in your eyes. “Like that, oh stars, Daddy.”

“So good for me,” he growled, looking down at you. “Look at you. I’ve barely touched you, and you’re crying.”

“More,” you begged, unable to think of anything else to say. “Please, more.”

He pulled his two fingers out and added another, a quick push that had you sobbing.

Then he pulled them all out and picked you up, putting you on the bed, arranging you on your shoulders and knees, ass in the air and face on the bedspread. He climbed on the bed behind you, and you heard fabric rustle. You craned your neck and looked to see — he was taking his cock out, leaving his clothes where they were.

And then he pushed into you. Your hands shot out, gripping the sheets, knuckles turning white as he held your hips still, pumping in and out of you at a blinding pace. He grunted and groaned, and you moaned, loud and long as again and again, he pushed all the way into you and pulled out.

“Daddy — oh, stars — Daddy!” you cried.

He reached under you and put a hand to you, stroking hard and fast.

Again, tears came to your eyes. You wiped them all away with one hand, the other desperately holding onto the sheets in front of you.

“That’s it, little one,” he said. “Let it out. Let Daddy make you feel so good.”

“Daddy,” you moaned. “Can I come?”

“Yes, little one,” he said. “You can come.”

You came, squeezing your eyes shut tight as you did.

“Good, little one,” he grunted. “Squeeze my cock.”

You looked over your shoulder as he took his hand from you and licked your cum off of it. You wanted to come again just seeing that, but you couldn’t. You could barely hold yourself up on your knees.

As if he heard that thought — which he probably did — he pulled you up with a hand on your throat, holding your back flush with his front as he continued fucking up into you, squeezing your throat, his other hand going back to stroke at you again. You put your hands to the one he had wrapped around your throat, just resting there.

“You’re going to come again,” he said. “But Daddy’s going to come in you, first. Understand?”

“Yes, Daddy,” you whined.

“Good, little one,” he grunted.

Three strokes later, he came in you with a groan, pushing you off of him and onto the bed again. He turned you over and moved back so he could lay in between your legs. He licked at you, eating his cum from you, swallowing it, hot and messy. He stroked you with one hand, and you came again, impossibly soon after the last time.

Breathing hard, you watched as he got off the bed and picked up his datapad. He tapped around on it for a minute, then set it down. He undressed, and came back to the bed, laying beside you, taking you into his arms.

“What happened?” you asked, voice small.

“My subordinates are incompetent,” he said, voice blank. “And the General and I… do not get along.”

“I’m sorry,” you said, nuzzling closer to his chest.

“You’re sweating again,” he said, running a hand down your back, changing the subject.

“Mm,” you sighed. “I don’t care if you don’t.”

“As luck would have it, I don’t,” he said. “How’s that for some choking?”

You huffed out a laugh, and you found him laughing with you. It was honestly nice, his laugh.

“See?” he asked. “I’m not a complete monster.”

“No, not completely,” you agreed. “I still haven’t forgiven you for yesterday, however.”

He hummed, running a hand over your hair. Then he ducked his head, nudging your nose with his. And then he kissed you, short and sweet.

He pulled back and looked you over.

“So,” he said slowly. “You’ve come, twice. You have clothes from home, and other things as well. Is there anything else I can give you to make you happy to be here?”

Tears pricked in your eyes and you pulled your face away from his, ducking your head under his chin.

“I don’t know,” you said, blinking the tears away.

“When you think of something, just ask me,” he said. “I don’t… want you to be unhappy with me. I want you safe and healthy.”

You squeezed your eyes shut tight.

“Are we understood?” he asked.

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Good, little one. If you want to sleep, do so. I’ll save your dinner.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

You went to sleep.

#kylo ren x reader #kylo x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo x you #first order fic #kylo ren daddy kink #mine #star wars fic

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yourheartsaremine-blog · 7 years

Note

Scenario request: A bit of angst, what if Akechi have a huge crush on someone because they were always very kind and caring to him and gets genuinely worried about him but before Akechi could confess to them Akira already asked them out (they also go to Shujin Academy) and they agreed to go out with him? How would Akechi react to that? Thank you!

SDFGJKSDFGDF SORRY FOR THE WAIT

Kind of brought in a phrase that is commonly used in Japan as a theme for this one! “Shouganai” is typically just translated to “It can’t be helped/nothing can be done”, and though it can be interpreted in a bunch of ways, it kind of just reflects a sort of helplessness in the face of things that are apparently beyond your control (i.e. fate).

APOLOGIES FOR MY WEIRD, JUMPY WRITING STYLE but I hope you enjoy ;;;;;

Shouganai. “It can’t be helped.”

Akechi couldn’t even begin to count how many times he hadheard that phrase, but he could recall that the first time he had ever heard itwas when he had been taken in by his first foster family. “It can’t be helped,”the couple had said, gazing at him in a manner that betrayed their distaste, “Thisis the one we got stuck with, so we’ll just have to deal.” When he was young, the concept of “fate” seemed unwelcoming and foreign; hefeared that if he chose to believe in it, it would be like saying that everythingin his life was prewritten—that being unloved and abandoned had been pennedinto his life. It was for that reason that hearing that dismissive phrase beinguttered by the adults around him had been so unsettling; the sheer resignation intheir voices never even hinted at the desire to fight. What ever happened, he had wondered, to trying to seize control of your ownlife?As he became older, Akechi’s belief in being able to control his own life grew,peaking at the point when he first gained his Persona. Suddenly, he no longerhad to walk down a singular path; other options had been opened up to him, andhe was free to pursue whatever he wanted.He refused to allow some sort of higher being or stupid “fate” to dictate whathe could and couldn’t do.For a while, everything was going well. He had managed to get close to Shido, andhe slowly began to accumulate fame and admiration throughout the country.Everything he had wanted—everything he had been striving for—was slowly comingto fruition, and even the unexpected appearance of the Phantom Thieves wasn’table to completely throw him off. He was determined to succeed so that one day,he would get everything that he wanted—everything that he deserved.Perhaps that’s what made it all so strange. In the face of these large, granddesires of his, Akechi never thought that his longing for a single person couldtemporarily eclipse all other feelings. He had always been fueled by passionand anger, but his unexpected friendship with S/O prompted a different feelingin him—one that was almost unsettling in the way that it made his heart ache.

The mask that he wore in his daily life usually led to people gushing over him,so the fact that S/O failed to do so during their initial meeting had been unexpected.When they simply offered him the handkerchief he had dropped with a smile, hehad wondered if they didn’t recognize him. However, that assumption wasimmediately dismissed when, upon hearing the announcement overhead, theychirped a hasty, “Akechi-san, right? Hope you have a nice day!” shoved thehandkerchief into his hand, and then hurried to catch the train without so muchas a backwards glance.That marked the day when it all began. From that point onwards, he began tonotice S/O whenever he was transferring lines in the mornings to get to school.He’d catch a glimpse of them as they made a mad dash through the station intheir Shujin uniform, apparently perpetually on the verge of being late. Thoughhe’d considered saying hello, the fact that they were always in a hurry—and thatthere was really nothing to be gained from acquainting himself with them—alwaysstopped him.That was the second thing about them that had surprised him: the fact that oneday, they abruptly stepped up beside him and greeted him while he was grabbingsome water at a vending machine.“Good morning, Akechi-san. On your way to school?”He didn’t immediately answer, his eyes having grown round as he gazed down atthem wordlessly, his lips slightly parted. Then, clearing his throat, he offeredthem a pleasant smile. “My apologies. Yes, I’m on my way to school.” He paused,looking them up and down as he arched a brow and grinned. “And you are notrunning late for once, I see?”His teasing words were met with a startled look and an embarrassed excuse aboutmorning clubs, and a part of Akechi was amused to see how easily this personcould be throw off by a simple comment. Howcarefree, he mused, the smile still plastered on his face as he vaguelytook in S/O’s rapid-fire explanation, Iwonder what it must be like to be so simple?“Anyways,” S/O continued, clearly eager to change the subject, “I’m notkeeping you, am I? I still have some time to kill until school starts, but I’mnot sure if your school starts at the same time.”Akechi lifted a hand and gave a dismissive wave. “Ah, don’t worry, I’m fine. Ihave some extra time as well.”“Oh! Do you want to chat for a bit, then?”It was an unexpected offer, and once again, Akechi was left wondering howanyone could be so carefree as to want to spend time with a high stranger.Internally, he grimaced at the thought of making small talk; there was neveranything to be gained by chatting mindlessly about the weather or whateverother thrilling conversation they were bound to engage in.No, he thought in response.But for whatever, stupid reason, his traitorous mouth formed the word “sure”instead.

Akechi was no fool; though he loathed admitting it, he knew that these feelingsswelling inside of him had sprouted from the loneliness that lurked deep insideof him. It came from his desire to be needed by someone—anyone—and his weakness at being bathed in any sort of positiveattention. S/O’s friendliness had been unsettling at first; for the longesttime he had been suspicious of them, wondering just what it was that theywanted from him. Although they had not reacted to his fame during their initialmeeting, he refused to believe that they were just being nice for the sake ofbeing nice. He had no idea how anyone could be so stupidlyhonest and kind (Maybe they actuallyhave people who give a shit, he had thought bitterly at one point), but hesoon came to realize that that was simply how they were. Worse yet, Akechi foundthat he was growing fond of it—of them.The rush that came from being on the receiving end of their warm smiles andattention had become almost addictive for him in nature; he felt happy in theircompany, and the fact that they were always checking up on him made him feel asif someone genuinely cared about his wellbeing. He wanted to keep a hold on these awkwardly fluttering feelings; he craved moreattention, more affection. Akechiknew that his neediness was almost childish in its intensity, but he didn’tcare, and after a long, almost agonizing internal debate with himself (You don’t need this, you don’t deserve this—),he decided at last that he would take the dive and ask S/O out. Although Akechihad never been interested in pursuing a romantic relationship, for the firsttime, he found himself desiring the possibilities that it could bring.

He had everything.When Akechi saw Akira, he was reminded of everything that he lacked in hislife. Despite the rumours that floated around the dark-haired boy, he hadsomehow managed to flourish like a weed in this concrete jungle; he had aclose-knit group of friends, had rapidly built relationships with multiplepeople throughout the city, and had planted his roots in the mere months thathe had been here.So how could the boy who had far more than Akechi ever did—the boy who seemedto have everything—somehow take evenmore?The shock that registered on Akechi’s face lasted only a moment before hisexpression suddenly fell flat, his eyes dimming. He watched blankly as S/O laughedjust a few feet ahead of him, their lips curled in a familiar smile—the one thatthey had always directed at him. The sight would have ordinarily elicitedwarmth to spread through his chest, but when the source of their joy was theboy whose lips were presently being pressed to their forehead, Akechi couldfeel nothing but the heaviness that had suddenly overtaken his limbs. Despitehimself, he let out a choked laugh.Had he honestly expected any differently? There had been one thing that he hadhad that Akira hadn’t.Maybe “fate” existed after all; maybe it was fate that he and Akira lived theirlives as total opposites. The dark-haired boy would get everything Akechi wouldpossibly want, and as for Akechi himself…Shouganai. “It can’t be helped.”Perhaps there was just no changing the fate of someone who was unwanted.Akechi stood there wordlessly as the couple was swept up in the crowd anddisappeared from his view.

#Goro Akechi #Filled Requests

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who-contest · 7 years

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LJ Entry: The Gates to Paradise ("Heaven's Gate" Entry)

Title: The Gates to Paradise

Rating: G

Word Count: 1713 words

Characters: The 11th Doctor, Amy Pond, and OCs

Spoilers: Not really

Warnings: N/A

Episode Setting: Before “The Lodger”

Summary: The Doctor is given a chance to go home, but he must pay the ultimate price for it.

He lightly kissed Amy’s forehead and rubbed her back. She had fallen asleep in his lap while crying about Vincent. He told her it might not have helped, but humans get their hopes up so quickly and then fall so far down. The Doctor hated letting his friends down, but it always seemed to happen. And soon enough his friends would leave him. All his friends had left him eventually. Maybe it will be different with her.

The Doctor carefully lifted Amy in his arms and quietly exited the Tardis’ main room. The corridors seemed darker than usual to the Doctor so he began to sing softly.

All the single ladies

Now put your hands up!

“Oh no …” The Doctor sighed. “Jack has been rubbing off on me. Well, at least you didn’t hear that Amy. Even though I am a pretty talented singer if I do say so myself.”

The Doctor looked down at his sleeping ginger and smiled. He liked Amy. In many ways she resembled him. She was resilient. She was caring. She was free. She waited a long time for him and most people wouldn’t do that.

As the Doctor turned the corner, a bright, white light blinded him. He held Amy close to his chest to protect her. After a few seconds, he lifted his head and Amy began to stir. The Doctor kneeled down and gently laid her against the Tardis’ hallway.

“Doctor …” Amy mumbled. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, I promise.” The Doctor whisper. “Just a little … lighting problem. Go back to sleep.”

Amy smiled drowsily and closed her eyes. The Doctor sighed in relief and stood up. He pushed back his hair, straightened his bowtie, and squinted as he looked into the light.

Doctor …

The Doctor leaned closer to hear the mysterious voice again. No one else should have been in the Tardis or at least that’s what he thought. The Doctor moved closer and saw the outline of a man.

Doctor …

“Hello …” The Doctor edged towards the outline. “If you’re here for the Harry Potter party, I’m sorry but you missed it. It ended a few years ago.”

Doctor …

“Yes?”

The Doctor shielded his eyes as the outline began to move closer to him. Suddenly, the Doctor heard the snap of fingers and the bright light vanished. He could now clearly see that it was an old man who wore long robes like a wizard. The man’s eyes were hidden by his long, gray hair and in his hand was a long and silver scepter.

“No!’’ The Doctor shouted in glee. “Is it my birthday and I forgot? Oh, clever me! I got myself a wizard!”

“Doctor, control yourself.” The Wizard spoke, softly. “I am here on my own accord.”

“Oh,” The Doctor replied, slightly disappointed in himself. “Okay, but next time ask me! I can’t have people, or wizards in your case, running in and about the Tardis’ hallways. Now, what are you doing here?”

“I came to give you back what you desire most.”

“And what would that be?”

“Gallifrey.”

The Doctor froze. He hadn’t heard that word in a long time. Gallifrey. His planet. His home. As he thought of Gallifrey, he saw the flames again. All around him was fire and his ear began to fill up with screams. He clutched his forehead and shook away any other memories of Gallifrey. His words caught in his throat.

“What? Gallifrey is gone.” The Doctor cleared his throat. “Gallifrey burned to the ground. I … destroyed it.”

“That is where you’re wrong, Doctor. I can restore it.”

“Pfft. That’s impossible!”

“I’ll prove it to you.”

Suddenly, the corridor erupted in an iridescent light and it faded away into an orange field. The Doctor’s hearts stopped when he looked around. It was Gallifrey. It was a Gallifreyan field. The Doctor’s eyes began to well up. It was his home. He was home. He bent down and a chill ran up his spine as he touches the carrot colored grass.

“I’m home.” The Doctor smiled then frowned. “What did you do? This can’t be real. Gallifrey is gone.”

“Not necessarily. I was gifted the power by my Master to open bridges to parallel universes. In this world, there was no war. Gallifrey was never harmed. No one ever died.”

“You mean-”

“Yes, they are all here.” The Wizard pointed behind the Doctor.

The Doctor turned around slowly and he fell to the ground once he saw them. He couldn’t believe it! They were all there. His whole family. His parents. His wife. His children. His granddaughter. He looked up again they were all around him this time.

“Darling! I’m so glad you’re back. How was your trip?” The Doctor’s wife asked.

“Genevieve!” The Doctor embraced his wife and she combed her fingers through his hair. “I’ve missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you too … ” Genevieve smiled.

“Grandfather!” Susan shouted, excitedly. “You’ve regenerated!”

“Susan!” The Doctor cried and pulled her into his hug. “My Arkytior! You’re here! Is that Campbell boy here too?”

“Father!” His children exclaimed. “We are so glad you’re back. You’ve been gone for so long!”

“ …., you have a lot of explaining to do!” His father shouted. “Leaving all of us in the blue, as the humans say, like that!”

“Oh hush!” His mother muttered to his father. “Sweetie, we’re all glad you are safe.”

“No, I’m glad you all are safe!” The Doctor exclaimed as he looked at his family once again. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to see you again.”

“What do you think Doctor?” The Wizard spoke.

All of a sudden, his family disappeared instantly and he was back in a dull Tardis corridor. The Doctor’s hearts ached as he realized he had only been holding air, not his family. An uncontrollable rage started to well up inside him. He wanted his family back. He wanted his old life back. He wanted Genevieve back.

“I can give you back this life … if you so desire. I can give you your family and old life back again.”

“What do I have to do?!” The Doctor shouted. “Give them back to me!! I’ll do anything.”

The Wizard smiled from under his gray beard. He dropped the bottom of his scepter on the ground twice and an ivory and gold gate appeared. The gate was engraved with ancient letters that even the Tardis couldn’t translate. And the letters moved. Everything moved, creating new letters and sometimes the letters were merged together to form a person or create. It seemed to the Doctor as if the gate was depicting a story.

“All you have to do is walk through the Gates to Paradise. And I’ll take her.”

The Doctor stepped forwards and his fingers wrapped around the golden handle. But something on the gate’s door caught his eye. The letters on the gate had formed into three people: One person was next to a gate about to open it, the second person was farther away trying to stop the first person, and the last person wore a mask and had grabbed the second person. Suddenly, everything clicked and the Doctor let his finger unwrap from the handle.

“What do you mean ‘her’?” The Doctor called out.

There was no answer.

The Doctor turned around and saw the Wizard. And in the Wizard’s arms was Amy and a knife was held against her neck through some kind of magic. “Amy!” The Doctor cried out. “Let her go!”

“What?” The Wizard smiled. “You wanted your other life and I’d like someone to keep me company.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Don’t want what?”

“That life.” The Doctor sighed, deeply. “I will never give someone up for my pleasure. Not even for my old life. I don’t deserve that. I don’t deserve her, but she chose to be my friend. My first friend in this body. And as much as I want to see my family again, as much as it hurts to push them away, I need Amy. I promised her I’d show her the stars and even if that gate would give me back Genevieve, I will never give up someone I care about for it. ”

“Such … determination.” The Wizard pondered the Doctor’s words. “Fine. I can’t force you to do something you don’t want to do. But my Master will not be pleased.”

Without warning, the Wizard dropped Amy and disappeared. The Doctor ran over to him, trying to catch her but ended up tripping and falling on his face. Luckily, because he tripped Amy landed on his back safely. The Doctor grimaced and Amy shouted.

“Oi!” Amy rubbed her head drowsily and looked around. “Doctor? What are you doing under me?”

“Long story,” The Doctor wheezed. “Would you get off me, please?”

********

The Doctor returned to the corridor after he had fibbed to Amy about what had happened. He didn’t want her to worry so he gave her common, clumsy Time Lord excuse. She willingly walked herself to her bedroom which gave the Doctor a few extra minutes to go back and check if the gate was still there.

To his surprise, the gate was still there. He meandered slowly to the gate and wrapped his fingers around the handle. Before he pulled on it, her remembered Amy. He remembered River. He remembered Rory. He remembered everyone in this life. He wouldn’t have them in the life beyond the gate. Could he live without them?

The Doctor stepped away from the gate and turned around to walk back to the Tardis’ main room. He couldn’t live without his companions. They kept him going. They kept him on the good side. Without them, he would be just as bad as the other Time Lords.

Suddenly, the Doctor noticed a piece of paper lying on the ground where the Wizard had once stood. He picked it up and read the words.

Happy Birthday! Hope you had some fun on your little trip.

See you soon!

The Master

The Doctor crumbled up the paper and shoved it in his pocket angrily. Of course, it was him. What other person would offer him Heaven’s Gates and make him choose Hell’s Highway instead?

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couturecandigirl · 7 years

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“Be nobody’s darling; Be an outcast. Take the contradictions Of your life And wrap around You like a shawl…”

— Alice Walker

The contradictions of my life include walking around on a daily basis wearing a mask. Today I was in Pinterest and I found a quote by the Joker that states “Give a man a mask and he’ll become his true self.” I was diagnosed with depression a few years ago while being stationed in Georgia. I wore (and wear) that mask to this day ~ there are days where I just don’t want to deal with life, people, myself so I put on my mask and run on autopilot. I smile when I have to, say the right thing, do the right thing, take care my kids, do the dishes, etc when all I want to do is hide in my bed and sleep under my covers all day or better yet lay in the lap of my momma or my Grams and have on them rub my temples as we watch tv and eat tea cakes and drink milk.

I am not sure that if I ever had postpartum depression or not as I was completely happy being pregnant and I was fine after they born even though I was home alone after each birth since he had go fight overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan. Don’t get me wrong I knew that when I met him and he was in the Army what I was signing up for, but I never wanted kids at that point. It wasn’t until moving on post and living on Ft. Hood and seeing all those women with kids and babies after a year or so that I got hit with the baby bug. Then once he was home on leave I told him I wanted a baby. The funny thing is that is around the time my MIL said that we should not have kids our own (he has two already) and frankly I was so out down from comment I just walked out their house called my bestie in Austin to vent!

Well, anyway we tried for a year the old fashion way and nothing was happening and I cried every single day. I so many pregnancy test under my bathroom cabinet and each time it came back negative the more my spirit was crushed. That is when we went to the doctor to get tested and it was determined that the reason we were not getting pregnant was because of me. Could you imagine how I felt? As a woman that I can do the ONE thing I was put on this Earth to do I can’t!

I am guessing that is when I started to wear my mask. I had to start taking pills and stomach injections (TriCare does not pay for other infertility methods) and then we went on leave to visit his family here in Louisiana and we visited our church Zion Hill. It was then that Pastor Joshua Joy Dara Sr. preached a sermon about Hannah and her need to have a son. About how she was mad fun of by her sister wife who many children. And how her husband who loved her more than anything; yet the one thing he could not give her was a child. Then one day she took her desire to the alter and the minister saw her talking to God, but he thought she was drunk because there were no words coming from her mouth. So he told her stop drinking and go home and sober up.. she told him she was not drunk but pouring out her heart to God and he told her continue. (1 Samuel 1:9-28New Living Translation (NLT) After we got back on base I prayed that prayer word for word and year and half later I got pregnant with our daughter! I still had to use science, but God was the one that blessed us not once but twice! Because I prayed that prayer again and two years later I pregnant with twin boys!

It wasn’t until we moved to GA that I started wearing the mask, because he was always gone either in the field training, deployed, doing things at church (he is also a ordained minister) it was like he would find things to stay away from home. Work was something he had no control over, but the rest he could say no too, but he chose not too. Granted, he would ask if he could go do something and if it looked like I was going to form my lips to say no I could see his mood change. So I would say go ahead and have fun. Most time he would not even ask he would not come home he just go after work to whatever thing was happening then come home afterwards. I raised our kids alone so that changed me alot, my guard went up, the mask went on, and things changed. In GA I had a few friends, but only one that would come over and hang out with me and we could goof off and chill out. She would bring her kids and my kids would play while we talked and did played on the Wii LOL…

My saving grace was when he invited my mother to move in with us. It was his downfall and that I do believe was when it really caused my depression to deepen, because he would put me in the middle of their arguments and want me to put her out on the streets and I refused to do so. He would quote the Bible about “husband and wife becoming one” and I would tell him how the Word saying “children are supposed to take care of their parents in their old age.” and that would just set off and only cause me to retreat more inside myself.

This caused me to reach out to psychologist and my on post pcm for help. Talking to someone helped and my pcm put me pills that helped for a while, but now they not really helping at all. Of course now that he is retired I have to talk my new pcm because now I am tired all the time no matter what time I go bed, I live on automatic, I have constant migraines that my neurologist can’t diagnosis, I wake up with neck pain. I stay in prayer not for just for me, but others. Despite that I hate this town because it’s small, has not life, so closed off, my family and friends are not here, no jobs and the only bright light is my church Zion Hill.

Oh did I mention that the house we rent the roof leaks and we have told the owner I don’t know many times and each person she has sent over has either lied to her said nothing is wrong and did not go on the roof (none stayed and talked to us) or they did go up for five seconds said they could not find anything. Did you look? Nope you didn’t!I sent her pictures and she asked me what was it I sent her… I said these are buckets in my office catching rain leaking from roof… no reply back…..Therefore, we just gave up on getting it fixed. I am waiting for it cave and fall in ruin all my shoes, both laptops, tv, clothes, etc so that she replace it all. It will cost her a lot mula, cash, dinero, duckets, dolla dolla bills ya’ll!

Through it all the mask is on… and rarely comes off!

OUTCAST “Be nobody's darling; Be an outcast. Take the contradictions Of your life And wrap around You like a shawl…”

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