#but i camt force myself to eat

[jonny-b-meowborn]

When I'm stressed out I either binge eat to calm myself down, or I just can't eat. I could have my favorite meal in front of me, but if I'm stressed for any reason it feels like my throat is closed. Or even I completely stop feeling hungry. Fuck

[whyme-anamayi]

***VENT***

Oh everything is my fault yall? I dont do as much as I should be? I shouldn't disrespecting adults with swearing? I can use anything as an outlet? I'm not allowed to have time for myself by myself? I am forced to talk to my significant other and friends and or family mwmember but no God forbid I get alone time to recover from fucking spending time with a person(s) since that's how i retain mental clarity and gain patience? Oh my friends like me more than a friend? Of my bf doesn't understand me or anything I say and he's right/I don't get a say/don't bother adding any of my opinions since its just not worth the effort to not blow up in his face? Been bitchy as of late? I'm not allowed to keep what i buy with my own money? I should grow up and act my age? I'm still act like a child to you? I'm not allowed to express myself? I'm not allowed to have friends? I'm not allowed to have an education? I'm not allowed to drive/and or have my license? I'm not allowed to have an id at age 21 going on 22? You're too passive? You're easily persuaded? I shouldt be lacking inspiration? I should work on what I have and not start a new project and finish what I've started? You say you know me better than I know myself?

Ho hoo..

Now.. dont get me even started- Everything is not my fault. Its not my fault I have eating disorders, depression, anxiety, bpd, d.i.d, aspergers, add, autism and more. I never asked to be born. Its other people's faults that either lead to it being my fault or you're the victum making so you won't hurt as much as you do i. Im doing everything I'm capable of doing so. I'm not able to drink nor smoke, I cant use unhealthy habits. I have nothing to let out my rage on. I camt run in my neighborhood since in the past year 5 vans and guys ahve tried to kidnap me thinking im a fucking child. I camt even catch a break with family or friends. One of my friends is super fucking clingy and likes me and I dont in that way on top of it hes a minor. Hes from UK and says 16 is legal age. No. 18 is legal age. 16 is of concent, even if his parents do, I do not consent and on top of it im taken so ima about to fucking cut ties since its so annoying saying he will kill himself or leave me every time something doesn't goes his way. He gets so frustrated and when it does he screams bloody murder having a temper tantrum. I never asked to fucking baby sit damn it. I see family almost every single day now a days and I hate it. I lost most of my friends irl so fuck them. They're fake. Fuck fake people. My bf doesn't want to see things on my perspective nor walk in my shoes. Yoy don't know what I've been through or done.

I'm bitchy due to the fact I have 0 patience anymore and I get annoyed easily. I've gained so much weight. I'm going to relapse again. Its not going to be selfharm. So dont worry. I recently baught clothes a month ago with my own money and now my mother is taking it back. She won't allow me to get my ged, ID, nor drivers liscence.

I'm not passive. I'm passive aggressive. I'll be aggressive when I need to be. I'm not easily persuaded. Sometimes I just don't want to deal with the conversation or it doesn't peak my interest. I dont want to speak.

I have issues. I get distracted. I can never concentrate on one project at a time or I stop entirely thats why i have multiple projects. No one knows me. They just want to say that do they do when they don't. They only see what I show. I dont understand the most of what I do nor say.

In the end I'm my own person.i should be allowed what I want to do as an adult. No back seat driving nor child restraints.

Sorry. This was only to get off my chest

[mrfoox]

I wish i wasnt Like This ™ :)