#but i don't even have to scrub it just works. holy moly.

[fishthegenderwitch]

I'm sorry, the Read more isn't working and this is long.

I'm fairly sure that I can't upload photos yet, because I've used up all my Fast Included data on my phone, and my PC is still in components at my friend's place. It's been some crazy past four days I tell you wHut.

Monday, I was stressing about getting the last bits of furniture and assorteds out of the old apartment. I texted everyone who had a car in my contacts list that lived in my city, including a list of what I needed moved. I asked if they knew anyone who could help. I got help!

A woman I know who I haven't talked to as often as she might like offered to help RIGHT AWAY so I was like "YES I'M READY," EEEEEeeven though I was not. Commence the Sweatiest of Packing Times.

We got a load packed into the carvanthing, drove across town to a gas station... My wallet's at the old place. Balls, well let's just get the stuff to the storage unit. Guess where the key is? Yup, back at the old place.

We finally got both loads of stuff over, including all of my furniture and a pullout couch mattress that I had been using as a short lounge couch. Magical. Last thing to move was the giant whiteboard and the cleaning supplies I was about to bust out, assorted bits of thing from the kitchen.

My partner came over in the aft and we CONQUERED the carpet stains. I vacuumed, he scrubbed with Folex and Goo Gone; my dog looked on with resignation. Take that, grunge! He had to go, so we took a break together at the nearby mall with my dog along. I have his Support Animal ID so he was cool. Once Lane left with his vacuum and other stuff, I finished up the cleaning. Super swiped the bathroom: glistening! Washed the handles of every door: antibacterial! Wiped every surface with disinfectant and Holy moly I utterly devastated all grime inside the fridge. Unstoppable! I then went and pulled every nail, thumbtack, and screw out of the walls, wiped the walls down, and once dry, painted primer over every scuff mark we hadn't been able to scrub off with Fast Orange.

Till 22:45. Couldn't do another thing. I'd been cleaning since 13:00, moving and packing since 09:00. I was Le Pooped. Well, my body was. My mind kept going. I needed to move this 8'x4' dry erase whiteboard and I knew nobody with a truck or car that could help. STREEEEAAASSS.

Finally I called a taxi company and told then the situation. They agreed to send a van at 07:00, and we'd figure it out from there. I set my alarm for 0:500, and tried to sleep. I slept a bit.

When the alarm hit, I jumped up and went back to work, cleaning up recycling I'd neglected on the balcony for a month, hauling it out with all the random jars I'd collected, and garbage from cleaning, along with stuff that was still good, I just couldn't use anymore. I finished up, took photos of EVERYTHING I'd done, and looked at the clock on my phone. 06:45. Hot damn.

Two minutes later I get a text. "Your taxi will arrive in 7 minutes." I start wheeling things out to the front if the building and I'm eyeing this van like.. it might not go. I might need to sit sadly in front of the building till some kind soul with a pickup took pity on me and helped me.. or maybe the woodworking crew could cut it in half? Not to worry! Cabbie looks at this massive board and goes "Ya, throw it on the roof. We got this." He opens the back of the van and it's a recessed accessibility van! I just wheeled my two little carts of stuff up into it and we're good to go!!

I'm jazzed. We get it all into the nearby storage and I text my landlord to tell him I'm awaiting the key. I can't see inside the place very well so I don't worry too much; even though I didn't see it well during my viewing, the pics of Kijiji were amazing.

Well.

They lied. Those photos must've been taken YEARS ago, or the previous tenant was an epic slobmonster. Food spatters and filth on literally every surface in the place. Including the ceiling. The stove was atrocious. The carpet was RUINED. Ripped, cut across the center of the room but not in a neat line, stained, I COULD SMELL IT, burned... List something you can do to a carpet, this had it. The fridge was gnarly, bathroom walls had hair, human bacteria growing on it (that orange scum), urine, snot. The baseboards had been chewed by mice but I don't know when. Some of my baseboard corners are just.. Gone.

So I'm sitting there reeling, landlord tells me, "This isn't too bad, a couple days cleaning and you'll have this place looking great!" Firstly, it's not my job to clean up after someone else, it's his or the last tenant. I tried though. He left to get lightbulbs and a new lock and I was in this place for 6 hours before I broke down and cried. I was so tired. I had just spent nearly three months looking for a new home, stress was my closest companion. I'd just spent the last week moving all my stuff, and 10 solid hours actually cleaning so the only thing that needed to be done in my old place was a coat of paint and Bam! Tenants could move in. And now this.

My landlord knocked on the door as I'm sitting there in despair, so I tried to stop crying. It worked for about 30 seconds, then it was like I turned on a faucet and it wouldn't stop. I just told him I couldn't do this, that carpet was so awful and unsanitary, and all the other things. He agreed to replace the carpet but couldn't give me a time yet.

I left. I took all my cleaning supplies and stashed them in storage, then I took my dog to my friend's place where I ranted and got sympathy and then a glass of wine, and salad.

Lane called me to get an update and I vented into his earhole, and asked if I could stay at his place that night, just till the landlord fixed things. I'd just texted the LL and told him,"Hey there. I can't move into the apartment as it is. It's too much to expect a brand new tenant to fix that much damage to make it sanitary. I can start moving things in once the carpet is replaced, the filth in all the rooms is cleaned up, and the baseboards are fixed. I understand You might not have a chance to do this right away, but if you hire someone to do it up that'd be covered by the portion of my rent for when I'm not using the apt, and would be much appreciated."

He called and says he's at the apartment, can have the carpet out in five minutes. I thanked him and asked him to keep me posted on progress. I went to Lane's.

He has a Swank place. And the whole thing is amazingly Him. It's tidy, and peaceful, and I got a shower, and he loaned me some clothes. We spent Wednesday together and it was wonderful. That evening I got a text from the LL, saying that it was 98% complete, and not to use the use yet as he needed to get a burner. Guys... This place is a whole new apartment. He fixed and cleaned it FAST and I am so grateful I have such a good landlord.

I got paint today, and food storage in case there ARE mice, and mopped the floor and disinfected things to my own satisfaction.

I just got my vacuum so I'm going to take care of the fibers situation (I can feel them in my throat), and tomorrow night I get a little of my stuff back so I can start sorting.

It was the most amazingly Rollercoaster Clusterfuck move of my life, but it was worth it for what's coming next.