#but i dont think any version of bipolar explains my situation at all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

2024skin · 7 months

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Also in hindsight I think it was fucked up that at my first mental hospital intake I described long lasting emotional reactions to living with a violent man who was no longer in my home and they didn't even suggest screening me for PTSD

#i think. if long periods of depression crop up after repeated exposure to violent or dangerous situations #then mayhaps it is your job as a mental health professional to Look Into those situations and perhaps even other behaviors that the patient #displays #like perhaps the intense anxiety and extreme behaviors like running away and attempting suicide #which are allegedly difficult things for depressed patients to do on account of low energy (bc of the depression)#of course i dont think at ages 13 and 14 i was able to give an accurate description of my behavior #partly because at that point i had still agreed with my mom not to disclose a lot of information about my home life to people #but also because at the time a lot of people suggested i had depression so That was the only disorder i looked into #to explain my feelings #and i did fit the fun little checklist for depression to a T #but since then ive had several ''manic'' episodes (as described by other teenagers)#but i dont think any version of bipolar explains my situation at all #ive had so many panic attacks and emotional reactions brought on in situations where i was perfectly safe and Knew it #like yeah i was depressed while living in a fucked up household as a child. duh #why i cant be well adjusted in the wake of that is the unusual thing. the thing that i cant get over

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