#and i did fit the fun little checklist for depression to a T

[2024skin]

Also in hindsight I think it was fucked up that at my first mental hospital intake I described long lasting emotional reactions to living with a violent man who was no longer in my home and they didn't even suggest screening me for PTSD

[flying-elliska]

Hi Ellie!! I hope u dont mind this ask ❤Do u have any advice on how to do stuff on your checklist and not get overwhelmed? I can hardly do one thing out of my to do list and then i get severely depressed for not being able to do anything. i dont think i can function like a human being sometimes. anyway youre so cool ellie!!! i admire you loads!!! - help asked from one adhd struggling teen

HI anon ! I’m sorry for not answering sooner i had a beautiful answer ready and then Tumblr just ate it T_T anyway i don’t mind at all i think it’s awesome that you’re asking me ! this is honestly still something I’ve struggled a lot with. here are a few things that helped me (keep in mind i’m not a professional and this is only my personal, limited point of view) :

- ofc the first thing is to get as much help as you can, there are lots of people out there who can help. Generally talk to people around you about your problems ; often they want to help and just don’t know how : i know the tendency to feel ashamed and keep it in but that’s not good. Some people might be a bit ignorant so maybe keep a few ressources on hand you can send to people to educate them if that’s an issue ; and educate yourself so you feel more secure and legitimate in your opinions. 

- one thing that’s helped me lots is to go on #ADHDtwitter and #Neurodiversesquad because a lot of people on there are actual adults who are sharing both their struggles but also tips on how to actually manage the symptoms and have full and happy, if messy, lives. It’s very inspiring. It helped me a lot to feel understood, less alone and gave me a ton of ideas. Some accounts to start with : @ danidonovan - @ blkgrllostkeys @ ADHD_Alien (her comics are so cute) @ dustyexner plus lots of others

- regarding having trouble doing things, this is definitely a Big Damn Problem for adhd folks. the concept of the emotional Wall of Awful really helped me with this, you can find more about it in this Youtube video by the awesome How To ADHD channel (all her videos are so helpful !! have a look!) basically the idea is that we accumulate emotions linked to certain tasks based on unhappy past emotions that make it a lot harder for us to do things and that building it down takes a lot of time and effort but there are ways to work with/around that. learning to process, connect to and be more mindful of our emotions is a huge task, but it’s often a central one. 

- don’t try too hard to be neurotypical aka ‘normal’. find the solutions that work for YOU. If they’re a bit weird ? Whatever. The point is that it works. You will probably end up having weird routines that make no sense to others but it doesn’t matter as long as it helps you. Be creative and don’t be afraid to think outside the box. I’ll give you an example :  one of the reasons i hate going to bed early is because late at night is when i feel the most free of outside obligations and therefore i don’t want to give that up. So instead what i’ve been trying to do from time to time is a ‘clown hour’ where i basically give myself permission to do whatever the fuck i want (within reason lmao) but in an active way ; basically indulge my rebellious inner 8 yr old. Last time I ended up watching martial arts videos on youtube and practicing kickboxing kicks on the Mulan soundtrack and then put on funeral music and improvised my own eulogy by thinking about what i would like people to say about me after my death. Lmao that sounds completely wack when explained to other people but the point is - stuff like that really helped me reconnect to the idea that my time is mine to do with as i please, not just late at night. Anyway my point is : make it fun, make it a game, try things, experiment. Our brains crave novelty and if they don’t have it and feel burdened by shame, pressure and expectations of course they get depressed and stuck. Give your brain the fuel it needs to work. 

- just accept that sometimes you’re going to be a mess. it’s okay. you can be a bit of a mess and also live a fully, happy, joyous life. our society puts so much pressure on us to have this Perfect Instagram Life where everything is polished to unrealistic standards and gives us the idea that your morals are linked to productivity and if you are not constantly striving to be a Model Consumer Pretty Picture you are a Bad Person and a slob/lazy/unworthy/etc and all of that is...toxic garbage of the highest order that everyone should unlearn but especially us. related to that i would be careful with use of social media, tailor it to only give you content that makes you feel good/intellectually engaged/creative because it’s so easy for us to go into bad comparative spirals.

- tied to that be careful of your own perfectionist drives. it’s veeeeery common for adhd people to want to overcompensate their perceived shortcomings by wanting to be perfect. aka you haven’t done anything in weeks and all of a sudden you have this insane to do list where you expect yourself to turn your entire life around in a week. well, not going to happen. i’ve found it so important to limit myself. for instance what i do now is i forbid myself to put more than 5 items on any todo list. once i’ve cleared items i can add more, but not before. it’s a lot less scary that way. also prioritizing is very important so you don’t get bogged down in details.

- try to be mindful of your own energy. a big tendency of adhd people is to overpromise and underdeliver because we are enthusiastic and we want to please people but we are bad at estimating time/energy it will need. learn more about your own boundaries, what things are hard for you to do (for me, it’s socializing in groups) and what gives you energy (for me it’s writing, reading and walking in the woods) and try to balance that. learn to say no, it’s tough but necessary. So that you have enough left for the tasks you need to do. 

- create an environment that is benevolent and helpful for you in which to work/do things and that generates positive emotions. Get yourself a cute notebook. Put on happy music. Don’t forget to feed yourself. Don’t give into the urge of punishing yourself. You deserve happy good things - not overindulgence as escape - but our brains thrive on short term rewards. Bundle the unpleasant tasks with more stimulating stuff (for instance i always listen to podcasts while cleaning/grocery shopping etc). Create pleasant little routines for yourself (for instance one of the first things i try to do in the morning is do a little drawing of my emotions, it makes me happy, then i have tea and i plan my day.). Put on alarms constantly so you don’t lose track of time, but with a cool song. Find yourself cheerleaders who can encourage you in a positive way. Stuff like the pomodoro technique, timing yourself while doing a task, etc, can really help. Or telling yourself you will do a thing for ten minutes and stop when it’s unbearable, etc. Prioritize joy, pride, affection, desire to help, altruism, love, curiosity, interest and passion as motivators, instead of anxiety, guilt and shame. 

- find ways to build self esteem and confidence in your own skills. it’s often a lack of that that can block you from doing what you need to because you might be afraid of screwing it up. what I did for a while, for instance, is to keep a record of the stuff i did everyday and then extrapolated the skills i displayed from that. another thing you can do is make a list of simple skills you want to learn and find ways to do that, like youtube tutorials, etc. especially when it’s practical stuff and quick to learn, it can really feel so good, and make you more familiar with a sensation of success (and if you fail it can be a fun experiment gone wrong, and self discovery, you don’t have to be good at everything.)

- find ways to challenge yourself. depression happens for adhd people when we let ourself stagnate, isolate ourselves because of shame, and get into this idea that we are subhuman and we don’t deserve good things. that is false. you deserve a happy life. and our brains crave novelty. find your passion and indulge in it, find the things that make your brain come alive (as long as they’re healthy ofc). if you’re not sure what that is, just keep trying. you will find it. but resist the temptation to make your life smaller and smaller. you might mess up but that’s okay. it’s human and it will make for interesting stories later. instead of trying too hard to ‘fix’ yourself, focus on developping your positive sides. it will give you energy, self-respect and draw you forwards like a rocketship. we thrive on passion, not reprimand. 

- anyways : i know how tough it can be. depression is really something i struggle with, too. and doing things remains Hard. but my point is, you are not alone, and you are not broken. chances are you too, like most adhd people i know, are a fun, creative, compassionate person with a heart of gold and so much to give. our main enemy is most often the shame that comes with living in a world that is not adapted to us. but the truth is we are just playing the game of life on a much harder setting than a lot of people, and we don’t even have the manual. of course it’s going to create struggle ! so i think the best thing to do for yourself is cultivate a sense of compassion towards yourself, self acceptance, and humor. 

- as a teen you probably have a limited margin of autonomy to make your lifestyle fit your needs but - there is so much potential for it to get better ! as you grow in self knowledge and ability to make your own choices, you will find the right solutions and your life will get so much better. i have heard so many stories like this. since i got diagnosed, too, my life got a lot better. i won’t lie, it’s a lifelong process. but there is so much possible. give yourself time. you are so young, and you are definitely a human being. being human is struggling with being flawed and vulnerable and imperfect. i know the world can be shit sometimes, you probably got some negative messages - especially from your own brain bc depression definitely lies to you ! but don’t let yourself be guided by ignorance and fear. you deserve better. i bet you’re also super cool. the happier you are, the better off the world will be. so invest in yourself. educate yourself, develop your self knowledge, be kind to yourself, and keep making little steps. you’ll get there. <3

[wellnessroutines]

8 Natural Tips For A Better Sleep

Sleep. It's a crucial part of life, however while some individuals could drop off into dreamland the minute their head strikes the cushion each evening, others lay awake for exactly what seems like an endless time awaiting the sleep gods to ultimately take over their body. And considering that the quantity and also top quality of our sleep has a significant influence on our physical as well as psychological health, and consistent rest starvation can reduce our performance and also alertness, create us to put on weight, make us feel clinically depressed, and also damage our body immune systems, it's imperative that we make it a priority.

The just problem is that, despite having the very best intentions, a lot of us have a hard time to obtain a sufficient quantity of sleep each night. Hectic routines, unwell youngsters, chronic discomfort, life anxieties, and consistent sleeping disorders could as well as will make obtaining a strong 8-hour sleep sesh really feel impossible, yet with a little preparation as well as prep work, it is possible to make sleepless evenings an exemption as opposed to a rule.

I'm very fortunate that I don't usually have troubles in the sleep division, yet that had not been constantly the case. Actually, I spent the greater component of a year in my mid-20s seeing physicians and trying various sleep helps, as well as after investing an evening in a sleep center where nothing 'of passion' was discovered even though I was getting up 10+ times each night, I made a decision to take matters into my own hands.

I was ill as well as fed up with being unwell and also tired all the time, and also established out on an objective to cure my rest problems myself. I review countless sleep books and write-ups, and through a great deal of experimentation, I developed great deals of fantastic organic tips for a far better rest that have actually shown successful not only to me, but to a number of my friends and also household members over the years.

And given that I understand there are heaps of people available that struggle to capture an adequate amount of Zs each night, today I'm collaborating Yogabed ™ to share 8 of my ideal natural tips for a far better sleep.

1. ADHERE TO A RIGOROUS SLEEP SCHEDULE

While I have constantly been a little bit of a night owl, age as well as experience has proven to me that keeping a stringent sleep schedule, EVEN ON THE WEEKEND BREAKS, is paramount in maintain sleep problems away. The more unpredictable my rest schedule is, the a lot more tough I locate it to sleep as well as remain asleep. This was a little bit of a disappointment when I was a care free 20-something with late-night strategies every weekend break, today that I'm the mommy of a tough 5-year-old who wakes up at the daybreak every. solitary. day., preserving a normal sleep timetable is actually quite very easy for me. Certainly, I make exemptions for special events or when I'm on a due date, yet as a general policy, I aim to go to bed and awaken at the same time each day.

2. ACCESS LEAST HALF AN HOUR OF EXERCISE

Yup. As aggravating as it is, bodily activity, or absence thereof, truly does influence our ability not only to go to sleep, yet to stay asleep also. Obviously, this does not mean you should run a 10K race on your lunch break everyday, but the a lot more energetic your way of life, the much less likely you are to experience in the rest department.

3. LIMIT CAFFEINE AND ALCOHOL

If it depended on me, I would go after a glass of white with a cup of jo all evening long, but the reality of the issue is that this is not only extremely unhealthy, however it would have destructive results on my rest. As well as considering that I am an unpleasant human being when I'm not well-rested, I make a mindful initiative not to consume alcohol any kind of caffeine after 12:00 pm, and also on the nights I seem like enjoying a little vino, I aim to restrict myself to one glass. 2 tops.

4. ASSESS YOUR SLEEP ENVIRONMENT

If you have troubles dropping and/or staying asleep, opportunities are you have actually already read the significance of guaranteeing your bed room is conducive to a good evening of sleep. There are a variety of things you could do to aid - splurge on a comfy set of sheets, deny your thermostat, buy a white sound manufacturer, limit TV-watching as well as checking out to various other rooms in your house, etc. - yet the largest game-changer for me was purchasing a pair of power outage blinds. While I like getting up to all-natural sunlight, living in an apartment in a big urbane city indicates there are whole lots of sounds as well as lights throughout the night, and obstructing it all out really does create a much more zen sleep encounter for me.

5. UNPLUG

Life as an independent, work-at-home mom is wonderful and also versatile, yet it also makes it incredibly difficult to turn function off at the end of the day. I constantly really feel like I must be doing MORE, when I recently found myself looking at the ceiling agonizing over my relentless checklist of points to do a couple of weeks ago, I determined to try and disconnect myself an hour prior to bed each evening. It made such a difference! By giving myself time to properly relax as well as loosen up prior to creeping into bed, I discover I have the ability to clear my mind as well as sleep quicker. Give it a try!

6. ESTABLISH A BEDTIME ROUTINE

When my child was a child and also waking up a million times a night, every person told me I needed to develop a bedtime routine for her to ensure that her body would certainly concern recognize that as soon as we began to do specific points - change right into our jammies, brush our teeth, checked out a publication together, etc. - it was time to wind down and go to rest. I've adopted a similar regular myself, as well as it truly does help send the proper signals to my body that the day is pertaining to a close.

7. KEEP STRESS AT BAY

Even though I don't battle with sleep problems on the routine, I absolutely have difficultly dropping as well as remaining asleep when something is worrying me. I believe this is typical of the majority of people, and also could be extremely tough throughout times of intense stress. Unfortunately, it's not constantly feasible to limit these situations, however several of these ideas to soothe stress normally may aid keep points workable so you could obtain a far better night of sleep.

8. SPEND IN THE RIGHT MATTRESS

While every one of these suggestions really assisted me locate my means back to a good evening of rest when I was knee-deep in severe rest starvation, one of the important things that aided me the most was buying a good bed mattress. I had been sleeping on a bed that was older than I care to confess, and also constantly discovered I slept much better when I was taking a trip on business, and also when someone suggested the concern may be my cushion, it actually obtained me thinking. I eventually decided to use my annual bonus to spend lavishly on a brand-new bed, and also it made such a big distinction. I have considering that updated my cushion a few times, and each time I do, I am impressed at the results.

So when the outstanding individuals at Yogabed ™ asked if they can hook me up with a brand-new mattress when we relocated right into our brand-new residence last weekend, I hopped at the possibility. The stairs of our brand-new residence has very little swing room, and since my other half and I decline to sleep on anything various other than a king-sized mattress, we were a little stumped as to exactly what we were going to do.

As it transforms out, the Yogabed ™ comes packaged in a box, and also we had absolutely no concerns obtaining it up the stairs, so it was a win!

Now, I understand what you're thinking.

How does a king-sized mattress fit into a box that size?

We wondered the very same thing, but after reducing open the box as well as removing the air-tight plastic covering, we were entrusted a high-end foam mattress that is perfect comfortable.

The bed mattress is comprised of the Yoga exercise Comfort System ™, which is an advancement split system specifically developed to efficiently sustain the body by dispersing weight evenly and also minimizing pressure factors that create thrashing. It also featured 2 totally free Yogabed ™ Pillows, has a Zip-n-Wash removable cover featuring THERMOCOOL ™ high efficiency fabric, and also with a 101 evening no-risk trial and also a 1o year guarantee, you truly cannot go wrong.

Oh, and did I state I'm supplying $75 off a cushion? Just see the Yogabed ™ website and utilize the discount coupon code 'Meraki75' during the checkout process!

Moving is never ever fun, but we're so thrilled to have formally relocated right into our new residence, as well as thanks to our brand-new Yogabed ™, we're well-rested and delighted and also prepared to go explore our new area and make brand-new memories as a family.

Don' t fail to remember to capitalize on the $75 off voucher when you get your Yogabed ™ utilizing the code 'Meraki75' throughout the checkout process!

If you found these all-natural tips for a better rest valuable, please share them on Pinterest!

Optional brand accepted language you may use in or after the article:

 Yogabed is consisted of the Yoga Convenience System ™, an innovative layered system particularly designed to optimally support the body by dispersing weight evenly and also lowering pressure points that create throwing and also turning.