#but i think a lot about how daisys head was RIGHT THERE. right where hed see it when he got back to earth

[pikkish]

4I doomguy? Idk what would make him make that face, I don't know any doom lore lol :P Just pick whatever

Imagine for a moment that you have spent the last few days in Hell. It certainly wasn't nice- it was, again, literal Hell- but you're also strong as hell. So you fought your way out, and you taught those hellspawn jerks a lesson or two along the way. You even found the demon who was leading the invasion and shot it full of holes, just for good measure. It might'a been smart enough to think up Earth invasion plans, but that big brain of its still couldn't stop a hundred bullets or so, courtesy of your own trigger finger.

Now you've made it back to Earth, and you're feeling mighty badass, having curb stomped the whole of Hell itself. And it's the good old, demon-free blue skies and green fields of Earth as far as the eye can see... until you turn around. The city is burning on the horizon, but right here in front of you, where you were sure to see it, where they knew you would see it, on a fence post sharpened into a stake, is the decapitated head of your beloved pet rabbit.

And there is a bit of Doom lore for you, as well as what exactly I think might make Doomguy make that face :)

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How do you like your  🥚🍳 in the morning? Carly: no 🐣 Carly: ha Ali: 🐔 didn't show up in your roost later, did he? Carly: he must be scared of you Carly: 🔮 Ali: or my 🐺 Carly: maybe Ali: eggs aside, how you feeling, chick? Carly: 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: 👎👎👎👎👎 Ali: unacceptable! Ali: what do you need, kill or cure? Carly: cure forever Carly: im too young to die Ali: I'll swing by with my witches brew Ali: actually doesn't taste like ☠ either Ali: pure 😇 Carly: aw Carly: really? Ali: 'course, not gonna half-arse the job Ali: and it makes a full pot, no sense in not sharing the 💚 Carly: 💙 Carly: wat does it taste like? Ali: like Christmas 🎄🎅🤶🎁❄️🌨️☃️✨🌟 Carly: 😋😊🥰 Ali: it's got ginger and peppermint in Ali: the only other person hanging out their arse is my brother and he would rather die 'cos he's grumpy 👴 man energy so Carly: no 🦃 tho yea?! ha Carly: oh no he sounds like my da Carly: which cute bro is it? Ali: definitely not 😂 Ali: some greens but not sprouts Ali: the freckly one Carly: did u heal my heart to 💔😢? Carly: course itd be the most beautiful one Ali: oh no, you're delirious Ali: I'll come quick 😜 Carly: dont b jealous 👼 hes only the most beautiful boy Ali: 😏 My ma'll be gutted Carly: do u have a tea for that? Ali: 🍋 'cos she's so bitter? Ali: I'll see if she goes for it Carly: noooo 🍯 so she wont be Ali: you're too sweet yourself, Walsh Carly: aw Carly: but ur the 1 who saved me Carly: ur the sweetest Ali: anyone would Carly: nah ur the 1st Carly: not just saying it to u get ur fairy wings Ali: had to fly away from that particular 🐔 plenty myself Ali: harmless and flightless though he is, most the time Carly: yea Carly: he talks about u wen hes been on it Carly: the 1 that flew away Ali: uh oh Ali: can't let a boy ✂ your wings Ali: ever Ali: ever Ali: 👼🏽 🐔 🐧 🐦 🐤 🐣 🐥 🦆 🦢 🦅 🦉 🦚 🦜 🦇 🐝 🦋 🐞 🦗 🦟 🐓 🦃 🕊 Carly: im 😕💫🙃 but idk if those were the guests i danced with Carly: did get a cute lil 🎶🎤 to fall asleep to tho 💙🕊 Carly: 🌚🌝🌛🌜🌞 Ali: very 👸 of you though Ali: I can 👀 it Carly: my ma is trying to make me clean Carly: 🐇🐁🐀🐿🦔🐾 pls Ali: also unacceptable Ali: not 'til you're better Ali: use my wings to fly through and 🤞 he don't get the wrong idea about who I'm there to see Carly: [sends her a pic of whatever caravan mess she caused last night that her mum is raging about] Carly: so u can play a game of spot whats got her 😠 Carly: cuz idk Ali: Fun 🧐🤔🤨 Ali: angry mothers are my forte Ali: [does the circling the hazzards moment on the pic] Carly: making her angry is mine but nah to knowing y ever ever Carly: k ur cute & smart Carly: 🌟 Ali: it's rarely logical, but 🤫 on that or it's hulk levels in 0-60 Ali: how are you this nice when you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 Ali: that's a skill, rare one at that 💎✨ Carly: my da is looking green must of had his own 🎶🍻💃 ha Carly: idk i can b nicer? but k now i know ronan aint been talking bout me when hes 🍺 or 💊 Ali: can be a tea party for three Ali: have to bring his own 🎩 though Ali: not to me anyway Ali: but as you can tell Ali: 🐺 keeps all the 🐓🐓🐓 away Carly: 🐇🐇🐇♠️♣️♥️♦️🐇🐇🐇 Carly: she is fierce Ali: she likes to think so Ali: 🐶 really Carly: course ur not scared of her silly Carly: u love her Carly: im a 🐈 person ha Ali: [sends her a load of pictures of Bluebeard she didn't ask for rather than being like do I love her hmm] Carly: AW!!!! Carly: 🥰🤗 Ali: he's captain ☠🏴 but there's always room aboard Carly: thats the best offer ive had from a gentleman ever ever ever Carly: whats his name? Ali: Bluebeard Ali: and he is MOSTLY a gentleman if you can handle some toe nibbling Carly: 😍😍😍😍 Carly: into it Carly: ive done more for lads i just met who aint as beautiful so Ali: 😂 I feel that Ali: honestly, it's quite comforting, when he doesn't sneak attack you with it Carly: [sends her a selfie that shouldn't be as adorable as it is] Carly: now u can introduce us Carly: 👋 baby blue Ali: the 😍😍😍😍 are mutual Ali: I can tell Carly: yay Carly: 🧡 Ali: is there anything else you need/we want for the tea party? Ali: en-route at last Carly: ur really coming? Ali: yeah, sorry I was ages, it's a whole process brewing it Ali: also a dead giveaway you're 😷🤒🤕🤢🤮 which obvs my ma takes as her cue to be all Spanish inquisition about it Ali: 📚 of my mostly-fictional-but-which-are-and-which-aren't-mother exploits later Carly: sorry iou so much magic Ali: nah, don't worry about it 👸 Ali: who doesn't love a little scandal with their morning brew? she deffo does Carly: its too late im looking for 🍀 Carly: among the 🌼🌼🌼 Ali: awh Ali: I'm never turning down extra luck Ali: we can make daisy-chains Carly: its the dresscode Carly: soz da Ali: does he have a 🧔? Ali: that's a #look Carly: not rn Carly: my ma wasnt on @ me only to clean up Carly: he had his turn Ali: damn it Ali: maybe a nice belt Ali: I'll be 🤔 Carly: dont b 💔😢 he has bushy eyebrows Ali: same Ali: he's earnt his invite back Ali: your ma gonna have to chill though Ali: and it ain't that kinda tea 💔 Carly: you wont b able to tell if shes angry or surprised Ali: 😚 ⬅ I know the vibe Ali: you do you babe Carly: she used to let me sort em out but there was an accident Carly: which im sworn to secrecy about Ali: I'm so good with secrets 🙏🙏🙏 Carly: k Carly: my head zoned out but my hands kept going like Ali: you were meditating you can't help having  🌌🧠 Ali: I'll 🤭 now and never tell, don't worry Mrs W Carly: @ school yea im meditating on your q sir relax Carly: ha love that Ali: they just ask questions to answer it themselves, what is the point Carly: u coming for my ma again? Ali: 🤫 bad first impression, that Carly: shes heard it from ronan too sorry Carly: lad has loose lips Ali: honestly Ali: 🙄 can't keep up with my bad reputation Carly: ud think hed be better at kissing Carly: its talk talk talk Carly: more good things about u than ive made it seem like tho Ali: he was a big talker Ali: probably 'cos he ain't allowed with the lads Carly: if he talked about what a 👼 u are & how 💔😢 he is theyd uninvite him from the bonfire Carly: its sweet really how hung up hes got Ali: he only thinks I'm an 👼 'cos he took my virginity probs Ali: that's more suitable 🔥side chat Carly: he goes on about that alot but I thought he was lying Carly: oh no that sounds bad Carly: not calling u a slag ur obvs not its y he likes u more Ali: 😂 I'm fine with slag Ali: all definition dependent anyway Carly: yea same Carly: can be hot if ur in the mood Ali: right, and if I'm a slag 'cos I didn't marry him then I'll take it Carly: & hes not allowed to marry gorgers theyd wanna throw him in the 🔥 Ali: exactly Ali: we can't both be 💔😢 forever can we boy Carly: just me @ the party til u came to my rescue Ali: 🥺 Ali: What was he even on about then, like? Ali: dickhead Carly: idk i zone out wen he shouts @ me too Ali: I can always poison a cup and send it his way Ali: just say the word Carly: hes not that bad Ali: okay okay, just some laxatives Ali: 'cos he's a bit 💩 Carly: ha Ali: no 🌼🌼🌼 unless he says soz then Carly: but his beautiful curls 🥺 Ali: hmm, a good point Ali: be strong, baby Carly: ill throw one @ him & run away Carly: back to u Ali: you're so adorable Carly: says u Carly: 👼👸🏼 Ali: 💚 we're gonna have an adventure when the tea hits okay Ali: I've decided Carly: k thats the kinda 🎄🎅🤶🎁 it is Carly: i do want the energy of a kid on xmas morning Ali: that's the best Ali: how I'm tryna be every day Carly: 💫⭐️🌟✨⚡️☄️ 🚀🛸 Ali: if only 🚀 Ali: this bike can only go as fast as my lil legs can carry, like Carly: aw baby Carly: i shouldve asked u where u live before this 2nd rescue was launched Carly: im sorry Ali: No distance is too far for a fair maiden Carly: ill have to see what other 🔮 i can find before u get here Carly: dont love ious Ali: there's no ious Carly: [sending her loads of pics of her with or just pics of the cat lady's cats that she's rounding up for this tea party and they're adorable] Ali: 😍💞😻 Ali: okay, non-debt fully paid though Carly: [just rambling about the names she's given each cat cos her and cat lady don't know each other properly til Ali comes along and like facts about each cat/her fave things cos she's a big nerd] Ali: I love them Ali: I'm gonna get them some 🐟🐟🐟 when I get tea party tings Ali: some cream, awh, okay, this is happening Carly: im picking enough 🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼 for everyone Ali: should've put Bluebs in my basket Ali: next time Carly: aw Carly: Humbug might try & fight him Carly: youd b there to protect him tho Ali: I can ref Ali: my little brother is always trying to play-fight everyone so I'm well-versed Carly: is he ticklish? that works for me Carly: broken up lots of fights Ali: big time Ali: his kryptonite Ali: reckon it's against the rules in professional fights but preparing him for anything like any good big sister Carly: ha Carly: aw i bet ur an amazing sister Carly: if i had 1 maybe id wanna be on site sometimes Carly: my ma's eyebrows r hardly a call to home Ali: he might disagree but he's 5 so what does he know 😉 Ali: feel that though Ali: home is just a base, whole 🌍 out there Carly: wen ur 5 you argue to argue Carly: yea if u dont use ur wings theyll think u dont want em 💔😢 Ali: flying is like riding a 🚲 though Carly: r we goin on a 🚲 adventure? Ali: definitely Ali: ugh, need one of those wagons for the 😻😻😻s Carly: ☺️its gonna b so fun! Carly: we might meet more 🐈🐈🐈🐈 Ali: way better than 🐔 Carly: ha Carly: do u have 🔮 left to help me find shoes? Ali: have you checked the fridge? Carly: [a pause while she do] Carly: theyre not there 😕🧐 Ali: damn, that'd be the last place I'd look though Ali: were they in the mess your Ma was sounding off about fr Carly: o mayb Carly: if i was wearing any when you dropped me off Ali: 🤔 I don't know if I recall any glass slippers Ali: I'll ask Lene hold up Carly: 👸 energy Carly: but idk if i wanna scary 🐺 at my door Ali: turns out she's actually your 👵 Carly: ha my grandma is 💍 to god Carly: its not close to the energy shes putting out Ali: she'd probably tell your actual that God is a gay girl Ali: nah she's well 😇 around fam, just hide behind your Ma and me, baby, you'll be fine Carly: ha that wasn't in any of the kids bible stories she sent me every 🎄🎅🤶🎁 Carly: her god is 😠 than Humbug Carly: he likes to shout so i gotta zone out Carly: aw that's sweet ur ma loves her too? Ali: Hooray for Catholicism, yeah? 😏 Ali: she loves my Ma, more like Carly: we spend our sundays on our knees nana but its 🚽🤮 or u kno a bigger sin Carly: u do look like her i remember Ali: that's not QUITE 🚽🤮 levels but close 😂 Carly: nah its nice u have the same 👀💙✨ Carly: idk who i look like Carly: postman maybe Ali: now I don't know whether to 😳 or be 🤨 you like my Ma too Ali: you look like you and that's Ali: 💛 😍 😘 🥰 😚 👸 👼🏽 🐰 🌼 🌻 🌞 🍓 🍑 🍨 🍰 🍭 🍬 🎆 💜 Carly: yea 🤞🙏🌠 the postman isnt my da cuz hes a ride Carly: aw now youve got me 😳 Ali: rude, my postman is not Carly: 🚫💌 then baby Carly: ill text u instead Ali: so grumpy, don't stick your hand right into our house if you don't wanna get bitten, sir Ali: not by me, whatever Ronan has said Ali: though I'm well flattered I'm getting a text back Carly: ha its k its not that u use too much teeth Carly: & course ur my hero Carly: tho 🤞🙏🌠 wont b an sos every time Ali: good, can't have him putting you off with blatant lies Ali: it won't be if I do a better job at the heroics and get there before any bad shit can happen Carly: its k i like it Carly: helps me remember what i did Carly: 💔😢 no lads r spelling their names out in bruises for the who Carly: 🐇🐾🐇🐾🐇 Carly: nooo theres no better u could do Carly: ur flying to me faster than anyone has ever ever Ali: amateurs, like Ali: so rude, ain't they heard you're 👸 Ali: I'm basically there now, prepare for the best tea party you've ever been to Carly: aint wat theyve heard but idc Carly: yay 💙 i havent had 1 since me & my 🧸🧸🧸 Ali: I'll be 🎶🔊 it so get in the know lads Ali: awh, can I meet them too? Carly: not too 🔊 or ur gf will bite me which could b fun but im not trying to do u like 💔😢 Carly: some r shyer than others but if u work ur 🔮 how u did for me ull make friends Ali: fill your boots, babe, I don't reckon she's your type, like Ali: I'll be on my best behaviour 🤞 Ali: the loveliest guest you've ever had 🤞🤞 Carly: be fun though Carly: not boring Ali: 😲😲 Ali: Is that the impression I give off? Ali: or another Ronan tale, either way Ali: gonna have to prove otherwise now in the most extra ways imaginable Carly: nahhh Carly: he don't lie to me its his 1 saving grace Carly: its just like a pls Carly: to u & the universe Ali: I won't be boring Ali: trust me Carly: k Carly: i do ur a lifesaver Ali: nah Ali: just happy to help Carly: im happy we r mates Ali: me too Ali: idk why we weren't before, like Ali: too many people at school Carly: & i dont go much ha Ali: this is true Ali: lesser spotted walsh 🐦 Carly: oooh wat colours am i Ali: 💗💜💛🧡💗 Carly: cute Ali: very Carly: wats ur fave colour? Ali: It's a harder question than people reckon, that Ali: like, there's so many beautiful things of every colour Ali: if I can decide for the day, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to all the others Carly: sorry Carly: i havent decided on mine either Carly: when i was a lil kid it was 💛 for the 🌞 then wen i started goin out it was silver for wat i thought the 🌚 looked like Carly: but ive seen so many new colours since Ali: kids always know Ali: they're much smarter than adults about everything Carly: i bet ur lil bro is the smartest Carly: like u Ali: he likes red for 🚨❌🛑⛔️🚫💯‼️🥊🥤 Ali: and I see the appeal Carly: does he like 🍎? i kno somewhere that sells the reddest shiniest 1s Carly: or we cud just throw 🍅s Ali: he's at the anti-fruit stage Ali: but I reckon he could be convinced if we let him smother 'em in caramel and sprinkles Carly: its a date Ali: Me first

[carpecavill]

Facetime - Pevill

Katy sat on the living room floor with the girls playing around her and hit the video call button. ---- Things certainly hadn't gone how Henry had planned so fand so far. Megan and journey coming to surprise him was, well, a surprise and and he hadn't exactly anticipated anticipated the Fight with Katy.  And it wasn't exactly a surprise that she was upset about it, he could understand it it. But it was an accident. He hadnt intentionally forgotten to mail the license back. Then again he hadn't intended to do a lot of what he did.. And now, he was caught in the middle of what felt like having his son or his wife. Because Katy was his wife, paper or not. And truthfully he was irritated that she was so far away right then because he wanted nothing more than to snatch her up and remind her of that. He kept his phone near him and the volume up,  when she finally called, he stopped his attempt at unpacking and grabbed the phone, answering and leaning back against the dresser,  holding the phone out. "Hello, love" ---- Katy couldn't help but smile when she saw his face. "Hi," she pushed her hair out of her face. She wanted to believe that they were okay and that they would continue to be okay but her past traumas caused her mind to expect the worst. "Clearly we don't do well with this distance shit," she tried to joke. ---- "Yeah.." He chuckled a bit but the sound was dry because there wasn't anything really funny. "Which is kind of terrible because that's a lot of the future for us.." He sighed heavily, crossing one arm over his chest. ---- "At some point I could be over there more with you." She told him and meant it. She wouldnt have Vegas forever and her Idol schedule was flexible to an extent. The only obstacle was Chris but she was hoping it wouldn't be a problem. ---- "That would be nice" he commented lowly, nodding a bit. "Of course flying back and forth so frequently and being so far away from the girls isn't ideal.." technically speaking, he was the one that should move. Or spend most of his time there given that his son was there. But that meant switching a lot career wise and he had contracts for years already in place. "We'll figure it out' ---- "I could bring them with though. I could relocate to London and figure out some schedule for the girls and if I needed to work I have my own plane to get back here if need be." ---- "I know.." he lifted a hand to push through the loose curls atop his head. "The smartest thing is for me to relocate to the states." He frowned a bit. "I don't relish in the idea, but its what makes the most sense. Especially now with Journey being there too." ---- "Your work is there though." Until The Witcher was done hed have to be there to film the seasons. "I don't care where we are as long as we go to sleep together more often than not." ---- He sighed a bit, though the corners of his lips curved up just slightly. "I know. I know... just going to be an adjustment regardless i suppose" He grabbed the water bottle to the side and took a drink. "Hows it going over there?" ---- Katy flipped the camera so he could see the girls playing with their dolls. "Im being ignored," she chuckled and flipped the camera back to her. "How're things over there?" ---- "Of course you are. You're quite clearly not fun enough" He chuckled but then lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "Alright. Positive both of them are asleep now. Journey helped me with lunch and some food shopping before that. Got him pretty tired." ---- "My husband thinks I'm plenty fun," Katy told him and handed Daisy her juice cup when she came looking for it. "How does he like England?" It bothered Katy slightly that she hadnt met his son yet but she had no control over when it would happen and it made Katy feel like their family was separated. "Maybe you could talk to Megan while you're both there face to face about when I can meet him." ---- He chuckled a bit at her words and nodded, though the smile only played on his lips a few moments before a faint frown replaced it. "He seems to like it alright so far." He was quiet a moment. "It won't be for awhile.." he finally spoke, deciding honesty was the best policy. "She doesn't want him around you for..I don't know awhile. Ill do what I can" ---- Katy took a deep breath, "She has until August and then I'm not sitting around waiting anymore. We should be able to celebrate Daisy's birthday as a full family. Or May if you want to celebrate your birthday with your wife and kids." She shrugged. ---- His brows furrowed slightly at her tone, and then the words.  "What exactly does that mean? Not sitting around waiting anymore?" ---- "Id probably message her at that point and say something to her." ---- "OK well I don't disagree, august is plenty of time for her to see that you aren't a bad person..but I'd rather you not start a fight with her. Shes just very protective of her children' ---- "Im not trying to fight with her but im your wife. Right now shes forcing you to live two lives and it's not right. Either he's going to wonder why you kept him from your family or the girls will wonder why you kept them from your son and either why it doesnt sound like it'll end well." ---- He wasn't a fan of how aggressive she was being, but it wasnt like she was wrong. Eventually it would be a difficult topic for conversation but right then it was fine. "We're still all adjusting to the changes. I'm sure once things settle it'll be fine." ---- Katy didn't think that results would happen on their own but she also didn't want to fight again after they had been fighting all day. She just wanted things to be easy, like they had been in the beginning. "And in the meantime I'll have to figure out what to do with my constant anxiety." Once upon a time he took her anxiety away and now she had it more often than not. ---- "I don't know what to tell you, sweetheart." He murmured, frown still ghosting his visage. "I wish I did.. I wish I could do more to help. This entire thing is..messy" ---- "Yeah, nobody ever does. It's fine. Im always fine. I don't have a choice." Part of the reason she had chosen Henry over Chris was the fact she rarely had anxiety issues but lately that wasnt the case and she wondered if things would go back to normal or if this was the new normal. "I'll be fine." ---- "Are you honestly going to be upset with me over me not knowing the right thing to say right now?" He scowled. "Its not my fault anymore than its your fault. I simply meant i wish I could do something more" ---- "Are you constantly going to think I'm blaming you for something when I'm just stating a fact?" ---- "If you continue to state them in accusatory ways, then yes" He lifted his shoulders in a faint shrug. ---- She felt herself getting emotional again because he was misunderstanding her and she didn't know how to get him to understand her tone. "I wasnt blaming you for anything, I wasnt accusing you of anything, I was just saying that nobody ever knows what to say." She paused, "Maybe I should just stop saying anything so you cant take anything else the wrong way." ---- "Could it be that you don't know what you need to hear?" Honestly he just didn't know what to say. Because he wasn't in control of most of her problems. Their problems, which they seemed to have more and more of lately ---- She shrugged, "I don't know." His presence usually calmed her but he wasn't there to hold her she had to figure it out herself. "Ive done this most of my life, consoled myself and gotten myself out of my anxiety ridden hole of depression. So i will be fine and i dont know if theres anything anyone can say since Im used to handling it myself." ---- He nodded at her words, letting a silence fall between them a few moments. "Okay.." he murmured, clearing his throat and leveling his gaze at her  "I love you" ---- She stared back at him through the phone, "even though i'm crazy?" His text calling her a crazy women standing out in her mind. ---- He chuckled a bit, giving a slight nod of his head. "Even though you're crazy" ---- She sighed, "I trust you, for the record, it's life I don't trust. Something always happens to ruin my relationships so im used to thinking the worst will happen." Henry — Yesterday at 7:11 AM He nodded again, lips pressing into a thin line before taking another drink of the water. "Its just the distance" although he wasn't exactly sure that was just it. There were a lot of problems they had ---- She shrugged, "i think im still waiting for the other shoe to drop. I cheated and we've never been the same. Sometimes I feel like what I did is going to be the thing that breaks us up. It'll always be a wedge between us." ---- He couldn't disagree in the slightest. It was the one thing that he couldn't let go of. Like a cold splash of water in the warmth he'd found in their relationship.  "Thats a thing I can't let go of" ---- She nodded, "How do we do this if you can't let it go? Things will always be tense if there's tension between us." She wiped the tears from her face because she really did feel like they weren't going to work out. "How do I fix us before I lose you?" She was trying not to cry too loudly because she didn't want the girls to see but of course Abby did and came over to give Katy a hug. She saw Henry on the phone and jumped excitedly, "My Henry! Hi!" ---- He sighed yet again, giving a faint shake of his head. Mostly because he just didn't know what to say again. Because truthfully, he didn't know. He didn't know how to let it go, to trust her. And it was frustrating because as the time went on, he certainly felt it growing more and more and it was the opposite of what he wanted. He opened his mouth to speak, but stilled as Abby appeared. A smile stretched over his features and he chuckled a bit. "Hello there, beautiful. I miss you ladies. Can you give your mum another hug for me? A really tight squeeze, tight as you can" ---- "Miss you," Abby told him and then wrapped her arms around Katy and squeezed her tightly. "No fair, using the kids," Katy told him, but she honestly thought it was sweet. It made her feel like he wanted to hug her himself and he was doing the best he could. He was trying, and that mattered. ---- "Using what I can, sweetheart," He commented lowly, sighing again. "I miss you. All of you.." He shifted the phone to the other hand. "I wish I was there." ---- "Abby, go back and play please," Katy told her daughter and waited until she was back with her sisters before speaking to Henry again. "Are you planning on staying with me forever even if you can never let it go?" ---- "Of course I am" He confirmed, nodding his head just slightly. "I plan on being able to get over it though, for the record. I just..don't quite know how." He didn't want to speak about it right then, simply because he wasn't sure if the girls were close enough and he didn't want them to overhear anything. ---- She let out a breath she hadn't realized she had been holding and with that one answer she seemed to relax. "I wish I could take it back. It really wasn't worth it. It was the worst mistake of my life." ---- "I know you do" He said, faint smile on his features.  "We'll figure it out" ---- "I'll carry this guilt with me always." ---- "I know.." he repeated, frowning slightly and changing the subject. "Whens your next show again?" ---- "My next show is Wednesday so I'll be going back to Vegas Tuesday evening. I'll be there until it's time to go to go to Dublin for the trip." Henry — Yesterday at 3:04 PM "Oh, fuck" he sighed. "I forgot about the trip. I may just meet you there" ---- "That probably makes the most sense. No point coming back here to fly there. Unless you want me to stop and pick you up and we can fly to Ireland together?" ---- "That would be fine with me, whenever youre ready. That's.. mid march?" He stopped for a moment to think before just nodding. "Yeah, that should work. We can finalize plans a little closer as far as dates and times." ----

She nodded, "Mid March." Katy let out a yawn but tried to hide it from him because she knew he'd make her go rest, even though the kids were still up and Chris was still due to come over to help put them to bed. "I had to move some shows around for the trip."

---- "At least your schedule was flexible enough to be able to do that. A little getaway would be nice, tiny break from work." He shrugged a bit, mind running over the schedule. He'd need to get exact dates and make sure to let the team know he'd be gone for a few days around that time. ---- "It really wasn't. I'm not sure if I'll be able to actually reschedule the shows that I'm cancelling. Right now it's a temporary cancellation but we'll see how things go." ---- "Ahh" He nodded, humming a bit at the end of his words. "Hopefully they'll be able to be rescheduled. I'm sure they will." ---- Katy wiped her face again and looked at the phone, "Do you think I'm going to do it again?" ---- He grew silent at the question, mostly because it wasn't one he wanted to answer. He didn't want to upset her but he also believed that honesty was the best policy, always. "I don't think you want to do it again.. but you also reassured me the first time, multiple times, that you didn't want to at all.. So.. I don't know." ---- "I don't want to at all. You're the only person I think about that way. You're the only person i ever want to do touch me that way." ---- "I know..You've said that. It just.." he sighed, shaking his head a bit. "I need to figure out how to believe that.. its on me now." ---- "I really do hate myself for it," she started crying harder and put the phone down on the couch behind her because she couldn't hold it steady, giving him a view of the ceiling with her cries as background noise. ---- "Sweetheart.." he sighed a bit, pushing his hands through his curls. "Please don't cry.." he hated that he wasn't there. ---- "I ruined everything," she said through her tears. We were perfect and I ruined it." She had been talking with her therapist but so far nothing had worked to help the way she had been feeling about herself since the incident happened. She hated that she allowed Chris to weasel his way back in when she had been doing so well. She felt like an addict who relapsed after a long dry spell. ---- "We weren't perfect..we.." he paused, frowning a bit deeper. "Things were also still extremely early on..we jumped into it all rather quickly..now we just have to figure out what the settle looks like" ---- Hearing him say that only made her feel worse because she had thought things were perfect when he clearly did not. Was their whole relationship a lie? She kept finding out that he was keeping things from her. She started to cry harder and stood up, picking up her phone and walked to the nearest bathroom, not wanting the girls to see or hear anything further. She put the phone on the counter and turned the faucet on to splash cold water on her face. ---- Hed really only meant it in the form that nothing was ever truly perfect, though it certainly felt like it. She was the one he'd broken his not settling down rule for. The one that made him want to be a family man. "Sweetheart..." he murmured ---- Splashing cold water on her face a few time calmed her down and she soon stoppwd crying. This was the first time she let anyone be around in any way during one of her anxiety attacks and she was nervous how he would react. "I need a minute." ---- "Okay" he murmured,  nodding just slightly. "I'm here whenever,  love" ---- If he had been anyone else Katy would have ended the call, but she felt safe around Henry. "I have to....stop this.....before Chris gets..here. He doesn't...like this...behavior." katy couldnt be herself around Chris and that was another reason why she didnt choose him. "I cant....breathe right..." she knew this was anxiety, she knew she didn't need a doctor, but it was scary. "The cold water...is supposed...to help." She splashed more on her face. ---- His nose crinkled just slightly at the words and he shook his head slightly, scoffing. "Chris can fuck off.." It was anxiety, not something she could control or do on purpose. He stamped his agitation down and calmed his voice. "Pick up the phone sweetheart.. let me talk to you.. see you.. I can't be there but I'm here.." He leaned back against the counter, shifting the phone to the other hand. "I love you." ---- Katy let out a chuckle at words, "Yeah...he can.." the laugh calmed her down even more and she was able to pick up the phone. Her face was dripping with water, parts of her hair that bordered her face was too. Some of her makeup had started to come off as well, "I probably look like a mess." ---- "This is one of those times where I want to say that you do look a bit of a mess, but don't want to upset you." He chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "You still look beautiful though." ---- "I'm in emotional distress, I'm allowed to look like a mess," she looked up at herself in the mirror, "Or a clown." She laughed a put the phone back down, but leaned it up against the back wall so he could still see her as she began cleaning all the makeup off her face. "I don't want to do this every time we're separated for work." ---- "I don't think you look like a clown, for what it's worth." He chuckled a bit. "I agree... It's a mess each time we're apart. But I doubt it'll continue on forever" ---- "I still like that idea I had last time of us having a video call going at all times on a device we leave in the bedrooms. You can always see our bedroom here and I can always see our bedroom there and if we happen to catch each other it'll be a pleasant surprise." she was trying to focus on anything but her anxiety. ---- "I actually completely forgot about that." He nodded at her words. "We were going to look into it and get it all set up, and never quite did. I like the idea." ---- Katy remembered that they did it one day but then it didn't last because he came back soon after. "I think I need it. For me to feel calmer." ---- "Ok. Well we'll get it set up then. I should still have everything that got delivered for it around. I'm going to take Kal out for a walk before bed but I'll get it set up after." ---- "Does that mean you're hanging up now?" ---- "Not yet, unless you'd rather I do" He shrugged a bit. "He's napping right now so i'll wait until he gets up and wanders in to head out." ---- She shook her head, "I don't want to hang up until we absolutely have to." ---- "Ok" He nodded slightly. "Then that's what I'll do." It was quiet in the house anyways, with J asleep there wasn't really anything he could do. "I'll be here." ---- "I was hoping you'd never see this side of me. I'm sorry." Everyone always made her feel bad for this part of her and she never wanted it to push him away like it did everyone else. "This is the side of me that causes everyone to leave." ---- "Well.. here I am regardless." His lips curved up just slightly in what he hoped was a warm smile. "It's kind of the point of all of this though, to support each other, see the rougher sides." ---- "I know...and I feel safe to be this vulnerable around you. That's why you're different, that's why you're the one meant for me." ---- His lips curved into a faint smile at her words and he nodded a bit, wishing he could reach through the phone to give her a hug as a comfortably silence fell between them ---- When Katy was done cleaning off her face she grabbed some lotion to apply. "I actually have a crush on Megan," Katy admitted after a little bit of silence. She smoothed the lotion out over her forehead. "When I found out you two had a son I was almost giddy at the fact that she'd be in our lives. I thought we'd become friends and be parents together and now I feel like she's always going to keep a distance and you're always going to have two families. Even Chris wants to get to know you better. That's how it should be." ---- He twisted his lips just slightly at the mention of Chris wanting to get to know him better. He'd seen something about it, and honestly assumed it was a joke. "I've got no interest in getting to know Chris any better. I've got no interest in even being in the same vicinity as him.. I'll remain civil for the girls but as far as anything else goes? No.." He shook his head. "Megans.. she'll adjust. I'm sure. Once things settle and we all fall into a rhythm it'll be fine. Maybe you two will be friends one day" ---- Katy rolled her eyes, "Well now you're no better than her. It's not about what we want, it's about what's best for the kids. I made a big mistake taking Chris away from them just because I couldn't be around him. We're all going to be around each other during birthdays and holidays and graduations and important stuff for the girls. It'll be weird if you two barely speak while in the same room." ---- "You're joking, right?" He laughed but then stopped, realizing she was serious. "I don't exactly care how 'weird' it'll be. I'm not making friends with the man that KNEW you were engaged and still pursued you anyways. I've got no interest in it. At least not for some time" his voice raised a bit and he paused, taking a deep breath and lowering it. "I can be civil to him, for the children. But if I haven't forgiven you for fucking him a week after we got engaged, i certainly won't be buddying up with him" ---- She was kind of offended that he laughed at her and started took her hair out of the messy ponytail to fix it. "I wasn't saying be friends or buddy, buddy. I was saying just getting to know each other so he knows the character of the guy helping to raise his children. I thought Megan would want to do the same." she shrugged. ---- His words came off more callous than he'd planned and he audibly groaned at the realization of it, though it didn't seem to make things worse. He shook his head just slightly. "Right, because I should be concerned that he doesn't know what kind of guy I am. Want to make sure he's comfortable." He was going to point out that Megan didn't want to do the same because she had no intention on Journey actually meeting Katy/being around her but he stayed silent, realizing that his own irritation was bubbling too high and he didn't want to make things worse with smart remarks ---- "They're his kids," she reminded him but suddenly it felt like they were about to fight again and she honestly couldn't handle it. "Well, this call did absolutely nothing to calm me down and I feel fucking worse so I'm going to go before I tell you not to come back." She reached for the phone and ended the call. ---- He wasn't exactly surprised when she ended the call, just irritated. Though honestly it was good before they actually fought again. "Right, well fuck me then" He murmured, rolling his eyes and locking his phone, tucking it in his pocket and heading off through the house // @katycatkpxo