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sizzleitupwithmaria · 5 years

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here you go @baura-bear (i’ve also definitely done these before but i know i’ve changed so)

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

i’m kind of a hoarder so all of them?? but mostly mugs and water bottles

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

CHOCOLATE

3. bubblegum or cotton candy

cotton candy slaps

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

very shy but a good learner

5. do you prefer to drink soda from cans, bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda sounds really unappealing right now so none?

6. pastel, boho, tomboys, preppy, goth, grunge, formal, or sportswear?

a combo of boho tomboy and grunge

7. earbuds or headphones?

earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

i don’t have the patience for either, podcasts are superior

9. favorite smell in the summer?

i walked by this couple yesterday who had ice cream and just... the smell of sugared cream and waffle cones.... delicious

10. game you were best at in pe?

volleyball maybe, but i still wasn’t good at that

11. what do you have for breakfast on an average day?

a granola bar, which sucks bc my first period is choir this year so i won’t be able to eat first period!!

12. name of your favorite playlist?

“oh boy i’m pining for someone”

13. lanyard or keyring?

my keychain is so heavy that wearing a lanyard would slowly break my neck

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

GUMMI BEARS!!!!!!!

15. favorite book you’ve read as a school assignment?

either romeo and juliet, to kill a mockingbird, or and then there were none

16. most comfortable position to sit in

i like legs crossed but i also like just the ideal Leg Bounce position

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

my grey converse high tops

18. ideal weather?

like... 60 degrees and mildly cloudy

19. sleeping position?

on my side or occasionally on my stomach

20. preferred place to write?

in a notebook, writing on my laptop gets old after a while

21. obsession from childhood?

MAGIC TREE HOUSE or dolls in general

22. role model?

eva fucking noblezada

23. strange habits?

i like to shake my foot when i see something i like (is this stimming? probably and i kind of like it)

24. favorite crystal

emerald but just bc it’s my birthstone

25. first song you remember hearing?

probably something off of rumors by fleetwood mac

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

i hate warm weather but i like shopping

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather

go to school?? i kind of feel like my outfits are the coolest in winter and that gets me a lot of compliments

28. five songs that describe you?

just pick five random queen songs and it’ll probably be pretty accurate

29. best way to bond with you?

literally just talk to me. i can ramble for hours about shit you probably don’t care about

30. places that you find sacred?

my bedroom and the two giant woods in my hometown

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

basically just blue jeans a flannel and a black tank top. not very cool but i feel nice in it

32. top five favorite vines

all i can think of rn is i’m gonna munch i’m gonna crunch so there’s that (stream revolution lover)

33. most used phrase in your phone?

fdhslfhdjslkfdk or any other keyspam

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

i have adblock lmao

35. average time you fall asleep

like 12:30 now that it’s summer

36. what is the first meme you remember seeing?

ehrmagerd or however you spell it

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea

both, including when they’re combined (arnold palmers slap)

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

cake

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school

high school: this past year’s senior prank which did give me a mental breakdown but it was kind of hilarious

middle school: The Smell

41. last person you texted?

my dad

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

pants, i always feel like shit will fall out of my jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket, or bomber jacket?

hoodie and cardigan, Maximum Coze

44. favorite soap scent?

i kind of like dessert scents

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy, or superhero?

none of them??

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

my fav flannel which is very soft and underwear

47. favorite type of cheese?

the one that comes on pizza

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

....... a watermelon? i look pretty appealing from the outside but i’m actually 92% water

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

andre deshields’ three rules to longevity from the tonys :,)

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

i can’t remember but i’ve definitely peed myself laughing in like... elementary school

51. current stresses?

“am i waiting too long to snap back my crush” and “OH SHIT I HAVEN’T STARTED ANY OF MY ESSAYS”

52. favorite font?

helvetica or comic sans if i’m in the mood

53. what is the current state of your hands?

i last washed them like 30 mins ago, my left hand’s nails are painted black, and my right pointer finger is bleeding

54. what did you learn from your first job?

i haven’t had one yet lol

55. favorite fairy tale?

i have no idea

56. favorite tradition?

i don’t really have any noteworthy ones

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

That Time In October 2017, The Week Of May 6 2019, and The Week Of Mamma Mia Auditions And The Week After (those are the official titles in my brain lmao)

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i have a good fashion sense, people tend to like my art?? i’m good in a choir?? and i guess i’m a bit naturally smart

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

something like “i’m gay”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

some combination of yuri on ice and ouran high school host club

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc?

i particularly like that one dude in hp and the sorcerer’s stone that was described as a toothless walnut

62. seven characters you relate to?

uhh my mind is really drawing a blank rn

63. five songs that would play in your club?

like... a combination of 70′s queen, cousin simple, and memes that’ll make people go buckwild

64. favorite website from your childhoos?

girlsgogames

65. any permanent scars?

(small tw) i have a scar on my left middle finger from when i tried to change razor blades and i just noticed today i have one single self harm scar left on my left leg and nnnnnnnhhhhhhh

66. favorite flowers?

roses and ik ferns don’t count but ferns are v pretty

67. good luck charms?

i have the shittiest luck lmao

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

i’m infamous for never trying new foods

69. a fun fact you don’t know how you learned?

idk, pretty much every fun fact ever?

70. left or right handed?

right

71. least favorite pattern?

like.... stripes of any kind make me look fatter than i am

72. worst subject

physical science, but it’s all bc of my shitty teacher

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

uhhhh fries and a wendy’s frosty?? or sometimes i squeeze a lemon into my coke

74. at what pain level out of ten do you have to be at before you take a pill?

hahahahahahaha i can’t swallow pills so i suffer

75. when did you lose your first tooth

i have no fuckin clue

76. what’s your favorite potato food?

fries!!!!! good!!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

ferns or cacti

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

neither?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

my school id but only bc i don’t have a license yet lmao

80. earth or jewel tones?

earth

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

fireflies

82. pc or console?

pc?? although all i play on is my laptop which isn’t technically a pc

83. writing or drawing?

neither rn, i’m feeling uninspired

84. podcasts or talk radio?

P O D C A S T S

85. barbie or polly pocket?

neither, i was a liv doll kid

86. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology but i can also dig some like... brothers grimm shit

87. cookies or cupcakes?

both but it depends on my mood (i could really go for a cookie rn)

88. your greatest fear?

experiencing eternal blackness after death

89. your greatest wish?

move into an apartment with my soulmate and act for a living

90. who would you put before everyone else?

nobody really rn

91. luckiest mistake?

coming out to my parents maybe? although it wasn’t a mistake, i would defo be in a bad place if i was closested at home

92. boxes or bags?

i have no clue

93. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight, or fairy lights?

fairy lights!!

94. nicknames?

none but if any future partners can come up with one for me i will marry them instantly

95. favorite season?

fall or spring

96. favorite app on your phone?

instagram or tik tok (KILL ME)

97. desktop background?

a nice landscape one of my fav artists painted

98. how many phone numbers have you memorized?

just my own lmao

99. favorite historical era?

60′s/70′s (i hate to be that bitch but that’s when music was at its peak)

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sonofadeanwinchester · 6 years

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Someone Like You

Summary: One invitation to change your entire life.

Words: 2744 (kinda got carried away)

Warnings: ANGSTY AS HELL; swearing; heartbreak; slight mention of cheating.

A/N: Based on Adele’s hit song. Not gonna lie, this is gonna hurt. I apologize in advance.

Tags: @221bshrlocked @marvelouslyme96 @shellymaesworld@titty-teetee @pawallday @chameerah @buckylicious@nerdywitch @teresaoliva20 @guera31 @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @ssweet-empowerment @jhangelface0523@sarahp879 @parkerrpeterr @bxxbxy @mrs-meghan-winchester @yknott81 @thejemersoninferno @yeahbutmarvel@kaleidoscopez96

I heard that you settled down

That you found a girl and you’re married now

I heard that your dreams came true

Guess she gave you things

I couldn’t give to you

Opening the mailbox had become a routine thing and every day it was the exact same things; bills, postcards from family members and other people’s shit, but today, there was a wedding invitation. My heart skips a beat as I squeeze it into my purse until I get home. The drive to my apartment seems to drag on as I find my spot, put the car in park and walk to the front door. My hands are shaking, unable to unlock the front door. Luckily for me, a friendly elderly man comes my way and opens it for me. “You okay, sweetheart?” The old man, I know as Gerald asks me.

I nod my head, smiling my pain away. “Just fine, Gerald. How’s your wife?”

He smiles sweetly at me and tips his hat. “She’s doing just fine. Thank you.”

I wave at him as he leaves me on my own. But as soon as he’s out of view my stomach does a nose dive and my knees grow shaky.

I had to force myself not reach into my bag and rip open the invitation before getting inside my well-locked apartment. Dropping my keys into the bowl, hanging up my coat and grabbing a glass of wine before gathering the courage to open the plain white envelope with my name on the front in perfect black lettering.

“Dear Miss (y/f/n) (y/l/n), you are hereby invited to the wedding of Sarah Terrance and Sebastian Stan.” My mouth grows dry, my knees shakier than before and my stomach one large knot instead of a few small ones.

My eyes prick with tears as I continue to read the invitation, informing me of the date, time and location. “Sunset Terrace at Chelsea Piers.” That was my place, that was the place I had told him since the beginning where I wanted to get married. It was beautiful and it was mine. Until now. My throat swells up and my cheeks grow damp with tears. I throw the invitation onto the kitchen table and chug back my glass of wine before pouring another.

Old friend, why so you shy

Not like you to hold back

Or hide from a lie

Standing in line at the Starbucks just minutes from my apartment, I hear a familiar voice two or three heads away from me. The mystery person orders a coffee with no sugar and four milk. My heart sinks, he use to order that. Every day we were together, he’d make his own coffee and complain about how he could never get it perfect like Starbucks did. So, I’d kiss his forehead, dump the coffee down the drain and skip down here to grab him a coffee.

The line moves away quicker than my thoughts and I’m standing in front of the barista while she’s staring at me like I have three heads. “Ma’am? What’re you getting?”

I force a smile and order my usual, an Americano. She smiles back and minutes later the drink is in front of me.

I sit down at my usual table, taking out my sketch pad to draw a few things before work. “Hey.”

I feel my stomach toss and turn into a bundle of nerves and my chest grows heavy. I look up and all I see are those big blue eyes, my big blue eyes. Not anymore, I remind myself. I chew my lip before smiling. “Hey.”

He points to the seat and without thinking twice I offer him to join me. “How’ve you been?”

I chuckle to myself. “Been fine.” That had been true up to three days ago when I received his wedding invite in the mail and my life shattered, like a mirror, into a million broken pieces.

He nods, smiling because he’s polite but I can tell he has something he’d like to say. I take a sip before speaking again. “How’ve you been?”

He clears his throat. “Uh, great, thanks for asking.”

I take a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. “I got your invitation in the mail.”

He winces and sighs. “I told Sarah not to send it.” Ouch, that hurt. “But she insisted that whatever happened between was ancient history so it couldn’t possibly be weird.”

I roll my eyes. “If being together for six years and two months from a wedding chapel is ancient history than sure.”

He shakes his head. “I was trying to save you the pain of this, (y/n).”

I stand, tucking my sketch pad away and grab my drink. “I’ll just move to another state then, maybe that’ll help.”

“(y/n), come on.”

I close my eyes, gathering my thoughts. “Seb, I hope you two the best, really. You use to say to me about couples splitting up and moving on that sometimes it lasts in love and sometimes it hurts instead. I just want you to be happy. And for years, I thought that was me but I guess not. So, have fun at your wedding.” I smile tightly and turn on my heels. And I could’ve sworn he muttered under his breath, “you are my happy.”

Hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it

I’d hope you see my face and that be you reminded

That for me it isn’t over

Nevermind I’ll find someone like you

I wish nothing the best for you two

Don’t forget me, I beg,

I’ll remember you said

“Sometimes it last in love and sometimes it hurts instead”

The evening before the wedding I lay on the couch, a big bag of Doritos on my lap and a bottle of wine in my hand. My eyes hurting and red from crying, my cheeks crusty with my tears. I had done this to myself. I had tried talking myself into calling him or finding his apartment but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin his happiness. Sarah’s I’d be willing to ruin but I still love Sebastian.

My phone vibrates, informing me of a text message. I glance at the screen. Seventeen missed calls and forty-five unread messages. I sigh as I toggle through the texts, mostly from my family and sister but a few from my best friend, Caleb. He was the only one that knew I still had feelings for Sebastian and he was the only one who was pushing me to break them up. I swallow down a fistful of chips before dialing the number back. “It’s about damn time.” He picked up on the second ring. “Do not tell me that you’re sitting on your couch with a Costco sizes bag of Doritos and cheap wine.”

“Fine, I won’t tell you.”

“Jesus, girl! Get with it. This man, who I might add is the love of your life, is getting married tomorrow.” He put more emphasis married. “Not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone who they can truly say is their soulmate.”

“You know I don’t believe in soulmates, Cal.”

He huffs. “Yeah, I know and it fucking depresses me. But listen to me, Sebastian is your soulmate. I don’t care at all if you don’t believe it because I do and that’s all that matters.”

I sigh, fresh tears breaking my voice. “I’m not going to destroy his marriage because I’m still in love with him. I’m letting him do this because I’m still in love with him.”

“You make no sense.”

I groan. “If Sarah makes him happy, then so be it.”

“Uh-uh.” I could mentally visualize him shaking his head and tsking. “No. Don’t you fall down this ‘oh, he’ll be happier without me’ rabbit hole. Don’t you do it.”

I groan again, changing positions. “Too late. Besides, maybe he will be happier without me.”

“See, even you say maybe.”

I shake my head. “Caleb, I can’t do this to him or to myself. What if I get down there, run up the aisle and express my undying love for him and he just nah.”

He chuckles. “He’s not going to say ‘nah’ to you, sweets.”

“How do you know that?”

He speaks softer, his voice growing quieter. “Because he’s still in love with you.”

I shake my head, my gross non-washed hair falling in my face. “No, he’s not.”

“You said it yourself, (y/n/n), he said ‘you’re my happy’.”

“No, I thought I heard him say that. My mind is just playing tricks on you.”

He screams silently. “Listen to me, bitch, if you ain’t up and dressed by 12:30 tomorrow afternoon, we gonna have a problem.”

“And if I’m not.”

“Then I will march my sweet little ass down to that wedding and express your undying love to the gorgeous man myself.”

I laugh. “No, you won’t really.”

“Try me, bitch.”

I sigh. “I can’t afford to have my heart broken again.”

He sighs, his voice soft as silk. “Just take my word for it, babe, it’s gonna be fine.”

You know how the time flies

Only yesterday was the time of our lives

We were born and raised

In a summer haze

Bound by the surprise of our glory days

That night, all I could dream about was how it was when we were together. How we met, how we grew to be in a relationship, how we said our first ‘I love you’. Every dream, I’d wake up in a burning sweat, my heart thumping loudly in my chest. I’d shake it off but return to yet another dream. The happy times were the best ones to dream of, but the one that kept looping in my mind was when we broke up. How he ripped my heart out and said he had met someone new. He had met her while on press tours, she was an interviewer for one of the conferences and he fell head over heels. I remember crying myself to sleep for weeks after that, throwing his stuff out onto the front yard, burning most of it in tin barrels as he screamed at me to stop.

“What are doing?” He was screaming at me, his eyes large.

“This is a representation of what you did to my heart, my life, our life.”

He shook his head. “(y/n), come on.”

“NO! You come on! You broke my heart, Sebastian. You fucking broke my heart.”

He grew silent. “I’m sorry.”

“Shove your sorry up your ass.”

And that was the last time I had seen him. I refused to acknowledge his phone calls or text messages. I made Caleb speak to him about gathering his belongings.

He’d sit at my bedside after each visit and hold me while I cry. “He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He’s gonna regret this one day, I promise.”

“You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”

He’d shake his head. “No, but he’s gonna marry the wrong girl and he’s gonna hate himself because of it.”

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited

But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.

I'd hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded

That for me it isn't over.

As promised, 12:30 came around and Caleb was at my front door, banging on it like a madman. I had been in bed until twenty minutes ago, contemplating whether to do this or not. I march to the door and swing it wide open. “YES! There’s my girl.” He claps his hands together as he takes in my fully dressed attire, purse on shoulder and attitude to boot. “Let’s go get your man back.”

The wedding was at 1:00 and of course, we were stuck in traffic until almost 1:30. “How long are wedding normally?”

Caleb groaned. “I don’t know but if we gonna make it, we gonna have to run from here.”

“Caleb, I’m in high heels.”

“Take them off.”

“It’s New York streets, Caleb, I’m not runn-”

“How much do you love this man?” I smirk and take my boots off, throwing the cabby some money. “Damn right. Let’s go.”

I ran down those New York streets like I was in a marathon. I turned corners and skidded most of the way and left Caleb in the dust. Before reaching the building, I tug my boots back onto my aching feet ignoring the pain as I stepped into them. “What floor is the Terrance and Stan wedding on?”

The receptionist cocked a brow. “Are you a guest?”

Caleb, short of breath, speaks. “She’s his ex-girlfriend and we think he’s still in love with her so we’re gonna crash it.”

“Ma’am, I can’t let yo-”

I slam my hand on the counter. “My entire future is in that room. Tell me where it is.”

She shuffles some papers around. “Room 4450.”

Caleb smiles. “Thank you.” She nods quickly as we run to the elevator. I bust into the room with a mission but what I see in front me is enough to make my heart skip a beat. It’s Sebastian standing there and Sarah is looking at him, shaking her head. “Sebastian, come on.”

The priest nods. “Do you take Sarah Anne Terrance to be your wife?”

“Don’t do it,” I yell from the back of the room, making every eye turn to me. My face turns beat red and Sebastian looks up at me. “Seb, please, don’t do it.”

Sarah’s eyes grow dark. “Get her out of here, now.”

“I’m not leaving until Sebastian tells me he doesn’t have any feelings for me.”

“He’s marrying me! Why would he have feelings for you?”

“He’s only marrying you because you’re a controlling little slut.”

Caleb walks in behind me, only hearing the last part. “Jesus, what did I miss?”

Sarah picks her wedding dress up and marches down to stand in front of me. “What did you just say to me?”

I snort. “I think you heard me. You’re a controlling little slut.” That’s when the palm of her hand makes contact with my face. I shake the pain away and chuckle. “You think slapping me is going to make him love you? Make him want you?”

“Get it through your pea-sized brain, bitch, he doesn’t want you.” She growls.

“Sarah, don’t” The voice comes from the altar. Sebastian has his ring in his hand.

“What?” Her voice turns from menacing to kind in almost a split second.

He sighs. “I said don’t. (y/n)’s right.”

“I am?”

“She is?” Caleb and I speak in unison.

He nods his head. “You are a controlling person, always have been.” Sarah rolls her eyes. “And I don’t love you, not like how I should.”

“What does that mean?” She whining at this point.

He steps off the altar and comes to us, handing her the ring. “I’m sorry but I can’t do this.”

She takes a deep breath, shaking her head. “Why are you doing this for her?”

He scoffs. “I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing this for me. And for you. I could never make you happy, not truly happy.”

She yells like a child and stomps out of the room, all eyes now focused on Caleb, Sebastian and myself. “Sebas-”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

He smiles. “For helping me realize that I didn’t want to marry Sarah, that I never truly loved her.”

Caleb smiles. “But you love (y/n).”

He clears his throat. “I do.” Cheering all around. “But-” it was cut off quickly. “I’m not ready to jump back into a relationship.”

Tears flood my eyes. “What?” It’s a whisper.

He cups my cheek with a hand. “I’m sorry. I’ve been in a relationship with someone for the nine years of my life. I need some time to myself, to see what I want.”

I feel a sob form in my throat. “So you don’t want me then.”

He furrows his brows. “Of course I want you, I’ll always want you.”

I scoff, tears falling down my face. “Just not right now.”

He shakes his head. “I’m sorry.”

Nothing compares

No worries or cares

Regrets and mistakes

They are memories made.

Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

#someone like you #sebastian stan #seb stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fandom #sebastian stan fanfic

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