#but im 100%%% changing the lore a bit because i really didnt think abt it lmao

[elfdyke]

Watched Saw 1-3 & thought of smth.. I genuinely believe that Amanda was better of dying in her trap. I don't think that she ever deserved to be there but what John did to her was far worse a fate than death. I genuinely believe that Amanda thinks this too and it's one of the reasons why she rigged her traps in 3 to always kill. I think she believes she shouldve died and that surviving from a saw trap doesn't fix you and is just worse than dying. Maybe thats like what the lore is am I'm just realizing that now but eh.. Just some food for thought ig

HSJDJFNG ok most times when ppl say my fave character should die i would disagree but no like youre right unfortunately. if the only 2 options were for amanda to be groomed by john or die, i think at least towards the end of saw 3 even amanda wishes she had just died back then...

i do think one thing thats very interesting is amandas extreme will to survive yk? she did what barely anyone could; i havent looked at the exact numbers but very few people actually do survive jigsaws games. the fact shes always been so desperate to cling to life is definitely something i think john admired + something he wanted to use for his advantage. also like... thinking about this, her will to live, it makes you think abt her decision to shoot lynn at the end of saw 3. i can think abt it from a few angles but my main ones are "she did believe john + knew they would all die, but couldnt bring herself to risk john knowing what happened. she was acting on a suicidal urge and had essentially given up" vs "she didnt believe john, and the reason she shoots lynn is because shes too terrified of john learning the truth. she'd rather betray him again than possibly face the full wrath of john". honestly i pingpong between these, going back n forth. it really is something im curious about and think about a lot! i do genuinely think she was terrified of john though, and believed if he found out amanda was complicit in gideons death, whatever he did to her would be so much worse than dying.

(side note , im PRETTY sure john knew of amandas involvement in gideons death? at first when i wrote this i was 100 percent sure and now i actually talked myself out of it a bit x_x i was thinking she was picked to play because john knew of her involvement but actually.. i feel like john would have mentioned it in the tape? but idk.. and maybe the trap ripping her mouth open could have had something to do with like.. irony about her asking her ex bf to get the drugs? IDK. these are thoughts fresh off the dome)

ALSO WHAT YOU SAY ABT HER RIGGING..!! is one of my top theories!! i genuinely do think she believed she had been reborn at first, and feverishly devoted herself to john, but i think it only became clearer and clearer to her how fucked up and unfair jigsaws games are. she clearly believed adams involvement was unfair, she was ridden with guilt over it and i think killing him to save him was a main catalyst in her losing herself + her will to live. then you have the gas house, she saw nothing but violence and suffering in there and clearly got a first person POV that no one was getting better, people were only suffering or hurting others. like she saw how close xavier got to winning!? if daniel hadnt killed him he might have actually won! at least in her eyes he didnt grow from this. he was cruel and violent and chose to hurt others when it was never needed. man didnt even do his own trap. 😭 + eric matthews whole shit?? he didnt change. or grow. he was violent and cruel as well. and of course her own personal hatred + fear messed with her in regards to him, hes the reason shes even here yk..?? as fair as amanda knows, jigsaw ONLY targetted her because she was am addict. and she can solely blame eric matthews for that happening. the was she collapses in pain after the fight. i just think amanda was really letting it sink in, just how badly her life was turning out 😓

but yeah basically i think her making her traps unwinnable because she didnt believe anyone actually changes from them (+knowing it can make you worse) is a super compelling theory and i honestly agree. i could honestly see it as an act of mercy on her part. ntm all her traps (iirc) killed their victims instantly, whereas john would leave people to just die of thirst in dark rooms 😐. honestly all amandas traps were pretty kind in that regard 😭

.....also also i DO think amamda had the potential to be rehabilitated even during saw 3 when she was at her most detatched and unhealthy, i know she could have been saved if there was any effort put into it on someones part, but i seriously do not believe that the police department + courts would show her any mercy for being a jigsaw accomplice. like. at all @_@. and i think serving more jail time instead of getting actual mental health aid, would only serve to make her that much more hateful and withdrawn and violent :( its extremely sad imo. amandas story is so compelling to me because at pretty much every turn, if she had just been shown more kindness, is someone had just stepped in sooner, maybe things wouldnt have ended up the way they did :( but no one really cared about her, save for the small kindness that adam showed her in the hallway.. and that was too late 😥

[hollowisthyname]

Tell me about your aro slut ocs

HEHEHEHEHE OK SO IM TRYING TO GIVE THEM A LOT OF DIFFERENT SEXUALITIES AND STUFF SO I ONLY HAVE ONE RN BUT ILL TELL U ABT THEM !!!!!!! :D

(rant under the cut , cw for some sexual themes but nothing explicit)

ok so !!!! this is onyx hart , amd they're alloaro , pansexual , and polyamorous !! it uses they/it pronouns and neos that i haven't decided on yet , theyre one of my favorites i think abt them a lot hehe

this is my most recent picrew of em , kinda a redesign but the only thing i really changed was the hair fghjhgfd the rest of its design is p much the same

onyx is a ghost , a performer , and yes 100% a slut >:] they struggle with getting close to people and forming connections but it's trying its best , and they've got a group of friends helping :D

theyre a v good actor and they know a lot of performance stuff (acrobatics , magic tricks , etc) , and performing is basically their entire life (escapism who?) it knows how to give people exactly what they want , so it has no trouble w being a slut but because of that they kinda have trouble letting down the facade it puts on around people bc its not used to being seen for who it really is and theyre just a teensy bit scared that ppl won't like them if they're not trying to make them happy all the time (people pleaser who ?)

(brief interlude just to clarify that it's not aromantic "because" of this , they'd be aro either way , and its aromanticism is actually a contributing factor to this fear or being known and feeling of isolation bc for a long long time they didnt have the words for their experience and it's internalized the feeling of its attraction being wrong and bad so all that just adds to the already prevalent attachment issues)

they feel very intense attraction to people sometimes , which isnt romantic it's just A Lot (probably closer to obsession than romantic attraction , and on the off chance that anyone wants to attack me for this i am truly just taking my own experience w attraction and slapping it on this poor character so please don't) , and all of that is p confusing and hard to figure out and deal with sometimes but they're learning to be honest w the object(s) of their affections so everyone can set boundaries and be comfortable ! healthy relationships :D

i think i will be done now bc im sleepy and u probably don't want me to go down the rabbit hole of explaining all their lore bc that will take many days and probably fill a couple novels (/ex) but i love talking abt this dude so if u ever want to hear more just say the word !! i am hoping desperately that this post is coherent bc im writing this at 2am and my brain is not quite running at full capacity FGHJHGF

tl;dr - onyx is a polyam alloaro w a complicated relationship to ...... relationships , but they're working stuff out and getting better at dealing with the difficulties they face !!

[erizee]

ok so since tma is over i can finally say everything abt all seasons so here are my opinions abt the tma seasons ig

basically i love angst

its also 3am so do with that what you want

best statememts: season 1

s1 has the scariest statements, especially since the first time u listen to it u dont have any info on wtf is going on yet. once the Lore comes in everything starts to make sense and i love that but it Does make it less scary for me

and i mean. the anatomy class?? jane prentiss' statememt?? lost johns' cave??? those are some A+ statements

could also be in part bc in later seasons i paid attention to the meta story wayyy more (since theres just more of it) and the statements just kind of became a background thing for me later on

some statements in s5 are also REALLY good though, especially the spiral doctor david, the plague village, the meat garden and the one with gertrude and gerry

best meta story: season 3

this is sooo hard

i love all of their meta stories too much to decide completely

but i had to choose 😔

i just love how in s3 you start to piece things together and jon is getting superpowers and hhhh its just so fucking good

theres just. some real connections between the statements and jon meets avatars and elias' bullshit gets a Little bit revealed and then u get gerry's info and you THINK you have it all together but you really DONT

theres more i could say but it all ties into the other categories so ill put it there instead

best character interaction: season 3/5

this is a full tie i canNot choose that

both of them have rly nice interactions with The Team but ALSO v nice interactions with avatars, which the rest of the seasons dont have that much

for the Team, they never Really do full teamwork ever but i think in s3 they got the closest to it, especially after the elias confrontation with everyone. especially the parts with tim and jon but also everything about melanie's & daisy's interactions with jon is just. chefs kiss.

and in s5 obviously jon & martin interact with everyone on The Team thats still alive (which it Should since its the last season tbh) and its just so nice that after s4 they were all talking and being rational abt things. love that.

and with the avatars, s3 is i think the first to introduce them as more than Those Weird Evil/Monster people since jon is becoming literally one of them. and theres sooo many cool interactions, i mean jude, mike crew, nikola, michael, daisy again, etc etc its just so fucking cool

and again same goes for s5, they interact with avatars and talk to them like theyre extremely fucked up people but still people and its soo cool. in the earlier parts of the season its also cool to see jon literally distance himself from the avatars again by killing them (only to fail by becoming to pupil oof).

i think with that i might rank s3 a bit higher than s5 actually, just because i loooove the angst of jon talking to these people he thought were monsters before thinking hes becoming like them. im SO here for the angst lmao

best jonmartin: season four

yess s5 had the most Actual canon jonmartin and it has them working through problems together and being in love but like. im always a slut for mutual pining and angst

i literally stop reading fanfics once the characters get together sometimes lmao

i also love the jonmartin in s5 but u know. Pining.

there was also some in s3 & before but yea jon had other things to do so it was less Big

best angst: season fourrrrrr

i knowwwww martin Literally kills jon in s5 and yes it did make me cry. BUT.

one of my ABSOLUTE favourite tropes in any media whatsoever is betrayal. any kind of it (except cheating that just sucks). i love it when characters go evil. i love it when they do sth fucked up they shouldnt have. and i ESPECIALLY love the way other characters react to it

i mean theres a reason why hannibal is one of my favourite shows (& why 6x20 is my favourite spn episode but shh)

and s4 has soooo much of that.

i dont rly get the story of s4 tbh its mostly just dealing w the end of s3 for me and thats not doing much for me tbh idk

and i feel so bad for jon because he was literally manipulated into everything but FUCK all those scenes where he has to confront What hes become, and especially the episode with the statement from the woman he met irl and took a statement from.

it hurts but its SO good

im very very glad all that was resolved and apologized for and everything, that actually kind of makes the actual season even better for me since i know its temporary but its still ANGST

best lore: season 3/5

another tie 😔 cant decide between worldbuilding lore and monster lore

s3 definitely has the most worldbuilding lore with all the avatars and rituals and all that. i mean gerry literally gives so much lore in his episode i cant ignore that

its just so nice after so many episodes to FINALLY get some actual information

but also s5 has lore on the actual fears behind the stuff that got explained in s3 so thats ALSO a thing.

i just. cannot decide lmao

FINAL RANKING

season 3. best meta story, best lore & best character interaction. just. yea this one is my favourite

season 4. best angst & best jonmartin. i can barely remember the meta story for that season, i dont think there was rly one outside of dealing w the end of s3? but the angst & jonmartin easily make up for that

season 5. best lore & characters + one of best statement seasons. i didnt add that category but also immaculate vibes. its lowkey tied with s4 too but Monster!Jon is just too good not to rank it in 2nd place

season 1. best statements and also immaculate vibes. this is 100% the scariest season and i rly like that abt it. it doesnt have much of a story yet which makes sense (no lighter for automatic tapes yet 😔) and theres less characters which means i cant put it much higher but when it Does happen its Great

season 2. its definitely good and the supplementals are hilarious but its not on the same level for me as the other seasons. maybe thats just me but i also feel like s2 should have introed jon becoming an avatar more since i already got spoiled but jon asking leitner if hes "one of them" still lowkey came out of the blue for me. plus his character changed so much to the beginning of s3 i was legit shocked to find out in ep 81 that jon was younger than 50 lmao. it IS still a v good season though!!!