#but in this au he's caught between two worlds and i make him Nervous tm so he's a little less suave around me lol

[nadineselfships-archived]

Hard Decision

Pairing/s: John Seed/Nadine Sinclaire

A/N: FIRST REVERSE AU FIC ARE YOU EXCITED? John's had a long day and has an Interaction(tm) with The Baptist, let's go.

TW/s: drowning mention(very brief and vague)

It was another long hard day for John; running from peggies, getting attacked by wildlife and getting captured by James to top it all off. He never understood why James bothered capturing his siblings and himself, all he ever did was rant about how what The Mother was doing was for the good of everyone and how they'd be free from the pain if they just accepted her word.

His words never made much of an impact and they always escaped with nothing but bruises and lost time.

Michael's methods never really work on John either, no one's ever been able to get into his head and mess with him very easily so of course Michael can't either. Which just ends in John getting roughed up as Michael gets more and more frustrated with his witty quips and sarcastic comments.

The only member of the crazy cult that ever gets to him is Nadine, the self mutilating Baptist with the confidence of a lion. Whenever they speak to him on the radio or capture him John always feels himself get lost, he hangs off every word and follows every movement. They were probably his biggest threat, if them attempting to drown him didn't prove that, and yet he was utterly drawn to them.

He couldn't explain why his heart ached as they spoke about their childhood, or why he felt the need to reach out and kiss their scarred skin and comfort them when they looked at him with a shielded gaze. John never dared tell his siblings what really went through his head whenever he returned from an interaction with the youngest Sinclaire sibling. Joseph would be appalled, Jacob furious and Rachel ever so dissapointed.

He couldn't bear that.

So why, he wondered, was he currently crouched in a bush in front of Nadine's ranch watching them through a window? This was wrong in so many ways and John couldn't figure out what he was doing, there were patrols of peggies wandering the grounds and at any second one could spot him. Why was he risking being here? Why, when all he wanted to do was rest, was he risking his life to see a glimpse of the enemy?

The enemy that said his name in such a way that left chills running down his spine and a fire ignited within his ribcage. The enemy with eyes that so desperately beg for his attention and drown him in their intensity whenever he meets them. The enemy that is staring at him right now-

Shock washes over John and his body goes rigid. Nadine's now standing in front of the window and leaning against it, smiling at him in a way that showed their own surprise. Surely he wasn't so exhausted that he just threw himself straight into their lap this time? Apparently he was, and, apparently, he had.

John doesn't know what to do. He's afraid, he tells himself. The electricity dancing along his spine and through his veins from their gaze is nothing but his nerves screaming at him to run. He knew he'd been caught because the peggies began to walk to their cars and drive off. The radio in Nadine's hand being the culprit for the act he was sure. A different response than he was expecting but even more unsettling somehow.

The sound of static from his radio nearly topples him over, the world had been nothing but white noise a second ago and suddenly all he could hear was Nadine's dangerously inviting voice.

"Johnny what a surprise, I heard you saw James today, have fun? He told me you left in the middle of your playdate though, that was a little rude don't you think? After he went to all the trouble to set it up for you too."

Their voice was like honey as they casually walked through their home, John watching them with wide eyes as they dissapeared from one window and reappeared in the next. He couldn't find his voice to retort anything witty or sarcastic, he couldn't even get himself to stand and run like he knew he should.

"You look tired Johnny, why don't you come inside and rest your weary little head a moment? I'm sure your little 'friends' can manage without you for an hour."

John's heads snaps to the doorway as he hears Nadine speak but not from the radio. They stand on the patio so confidently, as if there were no possibility he'd take his rifle and put a bullet in their head. He knew even if he wanted to he couldn't. He wouldn't.

Nadine's eyes are peircing, he can see a demand in them, one that's always there. Say yes. That's all they want. John shouldn't be conflicted. He should shoot them and walk away, tell Joseph they can now move into their ranch and have one less cult member to worry about. But he can't. He can't say yes and he can't walk away. He was truly lost.

This wasn't a normal situation, he wasn't tied to a chair and he didn't have a gun to his head. He could leave whenever he wanted. But the way Nadine leant against the railing of their patio had him hypnotized. He stood shakily and the way Nadine's eyes lit up when he did caused nothing but more indecision.

His hesitations cause Nadine to move, they walk to the stairs of the patio but each step down them is a step John takes backwards. They pause at the foot of the stairs, dissapointment flashing in their eyes but quickly being hidden with amusement.

"You've come all the way here John. Why come all the way to my home if you're just going to sit outside and watch me? What's the goal? Was this a stake out? Collecting information for your brothers? Planning to take over my ranch?" Nadine slowly saunters forward as they speak, anger flashing in their eyes as they let their theories run wild in their mind.

John is backing away as quickly as his lead heavy legs will let him, his blue eyes are fixed on Nadine's intense gaze and before he knows it his back is against a tree and they're standing three feet in front of him.

"It wasn't a stake out. Joseph and Jacob don't even know I'm here." The words clumsily stumble out of his mouth before he can think. He curses himself as a sly smile stretches across Nadine's face. Why did he lose the inability to make good decisions or think clearly when they were near him? It's like he reverted back to before he was able to form a coherent thought process.

"Now I'm even more intrigued, you're here alone and you didn't tell anyone were you are. I really thought you were smarter than that Johnny, or, maybe you've just finally come to see the truth. That I'm right. And you're here to finally give in, it would be nice to end our little cat and mouse game wouldn't it?" Nadine took a large stride forward and smiled giddily up at him.

They were close enough that John could faintly smell cedar wood and mint, an odd yet intoxicating mix that was so uniquely them. Or just their choice of bodywash, a small detail John didn't linger on for long.

"Sorry to dissapoint doll, but I'm not here to confess my sins." John quips back, finding a small surge of bravado to hold onto as he straightens his back and looks down at them. A frown wipes away their smile and John feels uneasy under their glare.

"Then what? What could you possibly be here for?" Nadine snaps, the aggression and irritation the same as it always was when he refused them. He should be more afraid, should have flinched at their quick spark of anger but instead he softens. Amidst the anger is always floating specks of rejection and hurt and John can't help but want to take back his words and say something else.

But he can't. His family needs him.

Nadine needs him. He thinks he might need Nadine.

He shakes his head, begging the intrusive thoughts to leave him alone so he can section Nadine back into the bad guy box with their siblings and be at peace. But life's not that easy and not so black and white, no matter if Joseph or Remiel wanted to beleive it was.

"Bath." John can't think of any other lie and he feels embarrassed as Nadine's brows furrow and they stare at him in confusion.

"I was going to wait until you left and have a bath." John expands the lie, hoping it was close enough to being somewhat believable. Nadine looks unimpressed.

"I see." The mutter plainly. John is just relieved they beleive him.

Until they're moving again and reaching out their hand to tuck a loose strand of his hair back into place. John's face is on fire, their hand grades his forehead for a second and John can feel his mind racing.

"You do look like you crawled out of a cave this morning." Nadine hums, eyes dragging over him from head to toe and leaving him feeling vulnerable and bare even though he was well armed and fully clothed. They turn and walk away, back to their ranch and John tries desperately to ignore the cold empty feeling they leave in their wake.

"You can use the bath, I've got no where to be however so if you plan on waiting me out you may be here a long while." Nadine walks effortlessly back into their home, not turning back once and leaving the door wide open for him.

The only thing left for him to do was make a decision.

[akalei]

Today’s The Day

I’m not dead and neither is this AU! Thank you all so much for the love and as always I hope you enjoy and please feel free to send me asks for more info :)

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Today was THE day and Marinette was a complete mess. She barely slept but still managed to miss her alarm. While getting dressed she not only banged her knee on her desk but also fell down the stairs. 

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was a complete and utter mess and she was only a bystander. 

“Marinette, why don’t you sit down and have some breakfast?” her mother asked, looking at her daughter, concerned as she got up from the ground. 

Marinette bit her lip as she glanced over at the empty bowl and plate of croissants on the table, “I don’t know Mom,” she placed a hand on her stomach already filled with knots, “I’m too nervous to eat.”

Sabine shook her head, “I know you’re worried about Adrien but there’s nothing more you can do to help him,” she reached out and kissed Marinette’s forehead, “just have faith and eat.” 

Marinette raised an eyebrow, it wasn’t like she didn’t have faith in Adrien or his Justice League approved lawyers, she just doesn’t trust Gabriel Agreste to keep things lawful. 

Thankfully she was interrupted by a knock on the door, “sit down Sweetheart, I’ll get it,” her mother said as she lightly patted Marinette on the shoulder. Marinette did as she was told but didn’t touch the croissants. 

“Marinette, Sweetheart it’s your friends from your club!” Sabine called out. Confused Marinette turned around to face the entryway to see Dick, M’gann, and Connor in her house. 

“Today’s the day,” Dick said with a smile, “are you ready?” 

All Marinette could do was just stare at him, it even took her a minute to realize her mouth was open, “what are you guys doing here?”

“We came because we were worried about you,” a voice said, belonging to a young man with forest green eyes who was standing apart from the rest of her friends. 

“D-Damien?” Marinette squeaked, surprised to see him here. The boy didn’t give more than a shrug in response, his attention on anywhere but her. 

“Are you done with breakfast Mari?” M’gann asked glancing at her empty plate, “because all of us were planning on watching the broadcast together in our hotel room,” 

Marinette was still in shock, unable to form a complete sentence. Why in the world would they be here? It wasn’t their problem-

“We came because we’re friends,” Marinette glanced over at Connor, who always seemed to answer her unsaid questions, “we wanted to support you, both of you.” 

Marinette felt the tension leave her shoulders, and she smiled, “Thank you,” she stood up and tugged her bag over her shoulder, ready to go,  “I mean it.” 

 * * *

Marinette was overwhelmed, first by the size of Dick’s hotel room, and then by how many of her friends came to show their support. Perhaps she and Adrien weren’t as much of outsiders as they believed they were in the Justice League. 

As soon as the broadcast started Marinette had plopped herself on the edge of one of the seats within the hotel room. She sat tall and rigid, her nerves as clear as day to Damien who had settled in the seat next to her. Damien didn’t pay much attention to the TV screen, his eyes trained on Marinette and her ever-changing expressions. As the court case progressed, Marinette’s knee bounced in anticipation and she gnawed on her lower lip with nerves. Caught between concern and annoyance Damien placed his hand on her knee to cease its bouncing. 

Surprised, Marinette tore her gaze away from the screen to look at him. Her face red with embarrassment, “Sorry,” she apologized, her lower lip still caught under her teeth. 

Damien grunted in response and left his land resting on top of her knee, keeping it from bouncing. Marinette quirked an eyebrow, unsure whether or not he was annoyed with her or just concerned in his own way. Soon the court broke for recess and the live broadcast switched to commercials. Without uttering a word, Damien pulled Marinette up by the hand and led them outside of the hotel room. 

“What’re you-?” Marinette started to ask but trailed off as Damien stopped in front of a vending machine. He angrily fed it some euros and punched buttons, after, the machine spat out a bag of chips.

“Here, I know you haven’t had anything to eat,” he thrust the bag of chips out to her, “and you’re beginning to stress me out.”

Marinette gently took the bag from him, “sorry and thank you,” she smiled at him. 

Damien wouldn’t meet her eyes, “no problem,” he leaned back against the vending machine, “anyways who is this guy to make you this worried?” he looked back at her almost reluctantly, “is he your boyfriend?”

Marinette’s eyes widened and she let out a small laugh, “no, no we’re not dating,” she paused to figure out how to phrase their relationship, “he’s my partner, my person.” She opened the bag of chips and popped one into her mouth, “We met when we were 13 as civilians and had no idea that we were partners,”

Damien’s brow furrowed, “what do you mean you didn’t know?”

Marinette smiled, “just that, our master told us that we could never reveal our identities. That we could never trust anyone with that secret,” she shrugged, “and at the time we were so overwhelmed with everything going on we didn’t second guess the rule.” 

“Sometimes it’s easier not to trust others,” Damien said crossing his arms across his chest, “you’re safer only trusting yourself.” 

Marinette shook her head, “I disagree, when your fighting to protect others and risking your life,” she paused to catch Damien’s eye, “you don’t want to be alone, you want to have others supporting you and you have to be able to trust that they’ll have your back. And if that isn’t an option, you have to trust that they’ll make sure everyone else survives.”

There was a gravity to Marinette’s words that Damien wasn’t expecting. He knew that she was a hero, like his father, his brothers, like everyone in that hotel room but he didn’t realize how serious she was. She wasn’t a hero because it looked cool, she was a hero because she wanted to protect everyone even at the cost of her life. Uncomfortable with the sudden realization he changed the topic, “back to Adrien, how did the two of you go from not knowing anything to becoming partners that you’d risk everything for?”

Marinette huffed out a laugh, “we had to grow up,” she popped another chip into her mouth, “we learned what being Miraculous holders meant, that we were cosmically linked and the responsibility that we have to bear forced us to reevaluate what was important to us. And after what happened with the invasion, Adrien and I were done with secrets. If we were to be heroes we were going to do it our way, on our terms.”

“So what happened to land the two of you in this situation?” Damien asked, “I know bits and pieces from Tim and Dick but-” he trailed off.

Marinette folded her half-empty chip bag, “well, it’s a bit complicated. Adrien’s home situation was never the same after his mom died. His father pulled away from the public eye and Adrien was completely isolated in his own home. He was only allowed to go to school after some major convincing from our friend Chloe Bourgeois who is also the mayor’s daughter. And even then if he didn’t live up to his father’s expectations he was immediately confined back home. Long story short he was being abused and thought it was normal,” Marinette looked up from the chip bag, “and then we found out that his father is Hawkmoth,”

Damien’s eyes widened. 

“So to the public today is all about exposing Gabriel Agreste’s shitty parenting but for the League, the Team, for me it’s about ensuring that he’s safe.”  

Damien nodded, not knowing what else to say.  

Marinette just smiled as if sensing his unease, “We should get back, don’t want to miss the verdict.” 

Damien followed Marinette back to the hotel room. He watched her stare at the screen, hands wrinkling the chip bag. But his mind was elsewhere, when he first met the girl he thought he had her all figured out. It was in his training to observe and read people, to determine if they were threats or not. And Marinette seemed like an idealistic hero, just like the other kids he met through his father and brothers. Sidekicks who were training to be heroes because of a dream or because they somehow obtained powers. Kids who didn’t know the harsh reality of the world they live in, the reality that Damien had been trained and prepared for since his birth. He thought Marinette was one of those sidekicks, perhaps a little less idiotic but she was so kindhearted, so idealistic. But he was wrong, about many things. About Marinette’s strength, the reason why she’s a hero, and about her partner. Damien didn’t want to admit it but the little rich boy he had written off as a joke, as a poor excuse of a hero was actually a lot like him. 

“It’s over!” Marinette shouted and startled Damien. He looked up at the television screen to see Adrien with a look of relief on his face, and a scowl on Gabriel Agreste’s. The entire room erupted into a ruckus and suddenly, Marinette pressed a kiss against Damien’s cheek. Shocked, Damien lifted a hand, and lightly brushed his fingers against his cheek. He looked down to see Marinette with a big grin on her face, wondering what the hell had happened.

“Adrien won, we won!”