#but ive like. really full committed to the bit yknow? like esp irl. all the ppl ive introduced myself to in the last 2 years have known me

[polaraffect]

venting in the tags yippeee

[trickstarbrave]

actually yknow what heres a list of complaints i have abt kink communities as someone who is kinky and heavily criticizes them but everyone keeps dumbing down everything i say as “you just dont like how they have sex”

overuse of slurs. just like everywhere. not in play where u carefully negotiate it just like in casual settings and meet ups. why. and especially slurs they cant complain i see non-romani ppl over use the g slur so much. why. 

oversharing. again in usually casual settings saying things their dom/sub would be cool w but Definitely Shouldn’t Be Shared With Strangers No Context. joking abt how u can hit ur sub as much as u want and its not abuse isnt funny to total strangers thats fucking horrifying 

not respecting boundaries. like all the time. even in kink spaces. i esp see this with male subs bombarding dommes w shit, demanding stuff from them, not listening when she isnt actually doing anything with them atm, or demanding free labor. it happens to multiple performers but dommes esp. 

not behaving OUTSIDE of kink spaces. yes kinky ppl have dif hobbies. yes other ppl are allowed to block u if a majority of ur social media is kink centered and they don’t like it. or they can block u if u think u can make sexual jokes w them they don’t like. you can be asked to remove kink gear in public if its not a kink friendly space. not everyone is okay w every kink 100% of the time. most ppl arent. why do you feel the need to constantly push this boundary w ppl who never asked? just bc ur not doing smth sexually explicit around them doesnt mean they have to deal with it. 

a large influx of young ppl into kink spaces online. like ur 18 years old w a set dom of 4 months???? thats a bit of a red flag for me personally. maybe on occasion there are ppl who have just gotten into it and met a partner they really connected with, or their romantic partner got into kink at the same time. but also this doesn’t happen all the time and i think newbies should rly explore the kink community, esp if they are younger, and not jump into making commitments before they really understand their community and what they like or dislike or what might be an issue. like either you havent explored it enough, or you were all in kink spaces well before you were 18. either way is a :/ from me

ppl genuinely thinking reading kinky writing/fanfiction makes them an active participant in kink. im.... there is a LARGE gap between liking something in fiction and liking it irl. fiction can be a great way to find new things to try out, but if you have never been tied up, how are you sure you like it? youve never been cut with a knife, how are you into knifeplay? do you even understand the safety precautious in full? you dont know what its like to stop a scene and worry if someone needs to go to the hospital. you’ve never been there. stop claiming you get it when you have simply never done it. you can say ur interested and participate in conversations to an extent but ive seen ppl acting like experts bc theyve read about it in a fanfic before. bro. 

dom men going after dominant women. “ill make you submit” sir that’s a domme her job is to not do that. if you want a difficult sub you can find a fucking brat or something. why are you acting like this. this i just dont get but i see it every time w/o fail at least once. who let you in here.