#but like half-requited semi-one-sided wincest?

[dyed-red]

#sometime i really need to write my 'john and Mary are both resurrected by amara' fic #just so i can write their discomfort at sam and dean being more domestic and settled than they ever were

outsider pov john AND mary my goddamn fucking adored i just wanna torment them a little bit there's so much you can do with them tho obviously my fav thing is them being really worried about sam and dean and then finding out they're literal fucking soulmates like oh they were never gonna be normal huh

literally it's so --

like i go back and forth on it, but tbh the way it exists in my head as an ongoing draft has sam and dean as Not (Yet) Together in a weird state of like - semi-unrequited, semi-requited attraction mess.

i picture it similar to their dynamic in Architecture of Choice (shameless self-plug sorry not sorry) in which they've always helped each other with a kissing curse or sex curse or with incubus venom or what-have-you, but are actually in a gencest state, for all intents and purposes.

but dean's (canonical) obsession with sam shines through in this dynamic even more extreme, slanted with attraction that's hard not to notice. does he want sam or want to consume him and keep him safe inside his ribcage? hard to say! but john and mary can see it's Not Normal.

meanwhile sam is like :) it's fine :)

and john hasn't put together yet that sam is unhinged in a complementary way to dean and that he actually feeds on this obsessive dynamic between them. john is too busy being guilty about what he told dean to do before dying and too busy seeing his vulnerable little kid sammy and stubborn teenage son turned very obviously ptsd-affected nervous stranger in sam's skin to really click that like, this grown ass man isn't a victim, he's actively choosing to play brotherwives with dean in this manner.

mary, on the other hand, is Weirded Out and she doesn't know how to set aside her guilt to simply talk to the son she sold to the devil so she observes sam and is like Oh, He's Making It Worse. if anything she understands dean's side more readily like, you were raised to be a protector and you sacrifice it all just to be at his side. i (unknowingly) sold my own son to get my husband back, I Get It.

mostly i want to write this fic because i have this one scene that i keep replaying in my head from different angles of john confronting dean about it in the library room with the tables and lamps, about his attraction to his brother and how he keeps him here and whatnot (you're supposed to be a good little soldier dean, you're not supposed to have wants and needs of your own, you're supposed to protect sam in the way i see fit, not the ways you see fit) -

and dean is standing his ground because if there's one thing that has confused john since being resurrected it's that dean gives him the cold shoulder and argues with him whereas sam is patient and happy to talk, and wincing but accepting of dean's moods (this, above all else, makes john's jaw clench as he tries to reconcile the son he left behind with the flinches he witnesses now).

and their argument draws sam, who is pissed that his father is laying this at dean's feet, and he swoops in and shuts john up by kissing dean right there and avowing that he doesn't care if dean wants him 'like that' and what makes him think it's just dean, anyway, and what makes him think sam doesn't choose dean above all else in every possible way he can have him?

dean, more awed than smug, because They Don't Do That. and before john can even react, it's mary who drops a cup or plate or something that shatters because that room has uh, a lot of entrances, and she's been standing there for a while unnoticed, and where dean was struggling but standing his ground (scolded little boy) under his father's disapproval, it's now sam who locks eyes on his horrified mother and now worries that she'll look at him and see nothing but a freak.

and dean grabs him and says they're going for a drive to let dad (and her) cool off, and they have to actually Discuss what just happened :)