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#but like i cannot deny that the femme community by and large equating the femme experience and struggle
forbiddennhoney
·
1 year
Text
struggling very hard to feel connected to my femme identity and feeling big grief about that
#like idk
#theres so many complex feelings and shit involved
#but like i cannot deny that the femme community by and large equating the femme experience and struggle
#to that of someone who is thin and on some level attractive is really fucking w me mentally
#cause its like when there's femme positivity in general i cant relate
#cause when its general femme positivity it focuses on validating queerness - but mine is never invalidated because ive always been Other
#when its fat femme positivity its usually describing someone with a body still smaller than mine or only talks about rolls and tummies bein
#good and often times the default in those is WHITE fat femmes
#general positivity for femmes of color feels nice tbh
#but even then i dont feel femme enough because femmes are always talking about being hyperfeminine and subverting femininity
#and as someone who has never really quite fit in any manner hyperfemininity for me ends up being simply just wearing a dress
#the amount of vitriol i get for just wearing a dress
#hell even just a skirt
#idk there's so much wrapped into these feelings and it feels liek the only ppl who ever understand are fat brown femmes who were also
#masculinized/othered from the start and remain othered for the most part
#which is such a small fraction of ppl ive met irl bc a lot of ppl like me usually just hide
#and i get it
#i do it too
#its just hard to connect sometimes because i Know im femme but when the acknowledgement of femme existence centers mostly on the femmes who
#are closest to the default......
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