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#its just hard to connect sometimes because i Know im femme but when the acknowledgement of femme existence centers mostly on the femmes who
forbiddennhoney · 1 year
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struggling very hard to feel connected to my femme identity and feeling big grief about that
#like idk#theres so many complex feelings and shit involved#but like i cannot deny that the femme community by and large equating the femme experience and struggle#to that of someone who is thin and on some level attractive is really fucking w me mentally#cause its like when there's femme positivity in general i cant relate#cause when its general femme positivity it focuses on validating queerness - but mine is never invalidated because ive always been Other#when its fat femme positivity its usually describing someone with a body still smaller than mine or only talks about rolls and tummies bein#good and often times the default in those is WHITE fat femmes#general positivity for femmes of color feels nice tbh#but even then i dont feel femme enough because femmes are always talking about being hyperfeminine and subverting femininity#and as someone who has never really quite fit in any manner hyperfemininity for me ends up being simply just wearing a dress#the amount of vitriol i get for just wearing a dress#hell even just a skirt#idk there's so much wrapped into these feelings and it feels liek the only ppl who ever understand are fat brown femmes who were also#masculinized/othered from the start and remain othered for the most part#which is such a small fraction of ppl ive met irl bc a lot of ppl like me usually just hide#and i get it#i do it too#its just hard to connect sometimes because i Know im femme but when the acknowledgement of femme existence centers mostly on the femmes who#are closest to the default......
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