#but like if you're a violinist than all offence

[icanttalkimhavingacrisis]

How I, a cellist, see certain instrumentalists

Violin: you are a pretentious hipster with a god complex and your head up your ass or you're a child or you're good at maths. No in between.

Viola: the true neutral of the orchestra. Y'all are more neutral than vanilla yogurt, and that's saying something.

Cello: gay gifted kid burnout syndrome with crippling anxiety and too much perfectionism. How's crying over your instrument been treating you?

Double bass: Y'all are the quiet kids of the orchestra. It's like because your instrument takes up so much room, Y'all decided to take up as little as possible.

Trumpet: I'm not saying I don't like you... But I don't like you.

Trombone: either a flamboyant mess or a depressed theatre kid. Or both. Most probably both.

Tuba: you seem chill, unlike the trumpet players.

French horn: I have never met one of you. You do not exist in my mind.

Percussion: chaos on wheels. If chaotic chaos was a DND alignment, you would be it's personification. Can we be friends?

Saxophone: perfectionistic bisexual who uses jokes as a coping mechanism. You are also most probably a fan of musical theatre, and identify with Alexander Hamilton, but only from the first act.

Bassoon: your instrument is cool as hell, but you are surprisingly bland. Your favourite crisp flavour is just salted, like bro. Where'd the creativity go?

Clarinet: you are short.

Flute: the chaotic good of the orchestra. You're either really theatrical and dramatic, doing a full on dance recital while playing your instrument, or a young white girl.

Picolo flute: you are the most flamboyant and glamorous gay person I have ever met. Respect.

Oboe: you use jokes as a way of hiding you're crippling anxiety and self deprecatory mindset.

Harp: you're a precious cinnamon roll and I love you or you're a pretentious prick and there is no in between.

Harpsichord : no way, you actually play this instrument??? Can we be friends???

Piano: you're pretty funny at times, but still basic. Like the neutral good of the orchestra. But I like you, so it's ok.