Tumgik
#but like. there isn't another option? me doesn't count as disabling for disability living support and i can't get a job
camellia-thea ยท 1 year
Text
.
#vent#i realised that i had a routine as soon as i was not able to do it.#was very upsetting#feels kind of like. i've just been having a... semester? basically? i think it started in like. may.#and i've just been having dips where i come out and go ''okay i'm finally fine again''#then i'm just clinging until the next thing takes me out#and it's just. searching desperately for things that give me control and make me feel at least vaguely a little better#and so losing a routine like that was really upsetting because having some videos each week to look forward to#god. i finally hit somewhere i think i have a baseline for with physical health and my mental health goes to absolute shit#i just want to be done with uni#but that comes with other problems#need to do things. feel like i can't. stressed either way.#feel like the world is falling on my head 24/7#constantly aware of how much it costs to be disabled and unable to work#and not wanting to live that way#but like. there isn't another option? me doesn't count as disabling for disability living support and i can't get a job#so i'm dependent on study to live and like. i want to work! i want to have a job!#and like. my life wouldn't be perfect with better support in that area#but damn would it be better.#all i do is think about it or being sick or feeling guilty about something that was completely fine actually#i just. want to not worry. i want to be taken out of my brain and body for a bit. not forever. just. for a while.#i just want some peace.
0 notes