#but literally what explanation is there for I haven't contacted you in five months that doesn't sound

[boyruggeroii]

Oh boy

[sunken-standard]

Can you do #4, 8, 9, & 10 (if they haven't already been done?). I love your writing so much. And I'm working on another chapter to Illicit, FYI. ;)

Remember how Isaid in a comment re: using three prompts in one ficlet, “Idon’t think I could do it again if I tried. (Someone will probablysend me like five now and I’ll have one of those ‘hold my beer’moments…)?”  It ain’t five, but…

Hold my beer.

“Who gave you that black eye?”/“Forget it. You fucking suck.”/ “Quit it or I’ll bite.”/“If you use up all the hot water again, I swear to god! You’re onthe couch for a month!!”

*

“Who gave you that black eye?” Maryasked in lieu of a normal greeting.

“I walked into a door,”Sherlock said shortly, giving her one of his plasticsarcastic-arsehole smiles.  He brushed past her into the flat toleave one somewhat guilty-looking Molly.

“Really was an accident,”Molly said sheepishly as she gave Mary a quick hug.

“This is a story I know I want tohear.”

“Newp,” Sherlock called overhis shoulder, already hefting the baby out of her seat.

There was something going on there, shewas sure of it.

“Well now I really want to hearit,” Mary pouted.

“Tell you later,” Molly saidquietly, barely moving her mouth.

“No you won’t,” Sherlockcalled.

If looks could kill, Marythought, watching Molly out of the corner of her eye.  She wonderedif she’d end her first date night since giving birth by depositingbin bags full of consulting detective in random skips all over thecity.  Or, well, at least being the one doing the driving.

*

“Just- do a quick check-in,”John said after the fourth time she sneaked a peek at her phone.  Sheknew he was just as anxious as she was, though for different reasons. Sherlock could handle Rosie and would have been fine even withoutMolly’s supervision, despite what her husband thought.

She excused herself to the Ladies’ anddialled Molly’s phone; straight to voicemail.  Sherlock’s was thesame.  She began to actually worry a bit when the landline rang andrang until finally Molly picked up with a breathless hello.

They couldn’t have been…?  Couldthey?  Maybe; Sherlock was clearly nursing a massive crush on her (ifnot more), but it would take nothing short of a gun to his head toever get him to act on it.  God only knew why, Molly’d been singlefor months and was probably gagging for it, it wasn’t like she’d turnhim down.  

“Hi!  Just wanted to check in, seehow things were going,” Mary said, listening intently to thebackground noise.  She could hear rustling, but wasn’t sure what itwas.

“Good!  Everything is good!”Molly said too quickly.  

“Why are you out of breath?”Mary asked.  Tact was for… well, anybody but her.

“Had to run from upstairs, eventhough someone was lying on the sofa right next to the phone,”Molly hissed.

“Clearly occupied,” Sherlocksaid breezily.

“Just couldn’t tear yourself awayfrom that staring contest with a three month old, could you?”

“I’m holding her gaze. It’s important for emotional and intellectual development.  Also,considering the duration of the eye contact, I think we can rule outa future diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder.”

Things were, apparently, fine.

“So we’ll be finishing up dinnersoon,” Mary said.  "Then it’s on to the theatre.  I’llcheck in before we go in and again at intermission.“

“Just go and have a good time,”Molly dismissed.

*

“Forget it. You fucking suck,”Mary heard as Molly picked up the landline for her second check-in. “Hey!  How was dinner?  How’s the crowd?” she asked,shifting from murderous to bright.

Mary thought it best she didn’t knowwhat was going on now.  She asked anyway.  "What’s going on?“

"Someone was putting an app on myphone, without permission, and now it’s bricked,” Mollyreplied curtly.

“It’s not bricked, Craig can fixit, or if not, he’ll know a guy.  This is why I stopped usingAndroid.”

“Well, I like Android.  Apple cansuck a bag of d—”  Molly was interrupted by Rosie’s wail overthe baby monitor.  

“I’ll get her,” Sherlock saidquickly, the phone clattering on the (probably) coffee table beforehe sprinted away.  

He was in for a treat; Rosie’spost-dinner nappy was always impressive.  Mary thought she saved upall day just for that.  That’s my girl, Mary smiled toherself.

*

Never one for musicals, Mary was almosthoping her third check-in would turn up some dire non-emergency andthey’d have to rush home.  She stood in the queue for the bogs andphoned while John did… whatever.  Hopefully he was at the bargetting her a Tom Collins.  Or just the whole bottle of gin.  She wasgoing to need it for the second act.

“Hello?” Molly answered onthe second ring.  She sounded annoyed again.  There was the sound ofsomething sliding over the plastic mouthpiece.  "Quit it or I’llbite.“

"Sounds like you two are havingfun,” Mary said.

“I’ve got a size ginormous foot inmy face and ugh, stop touching me with your monkey toes!  What iswrong with you?”

“If you’d just let me have theinside, this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“And if I let you have the inside,I’d end up half on the floor because of your stupid big feet.”

“Blame Mary, it’s her sofa that’stoo small.”

“So I can assume the baby’ssleeping in her cot and not roving the flat with a bottle of draincleaner in one hand and a screwdriver in the other looking foroutlets?”

“Out like a light, didn’t evenfuss.  Gran was right, a little drop of whiskey always does thetrick,” Molly joked.

“Molly!” Sherlock chastised. There was a scuffle and a soft ‘oof’ and then Sherlock apparently hadthe phone.

“We didn’t actually give the babyalcohol.  She went right back to sleep after her second bath—”oh yeah, good girl “—and she hasn’t made a peep since,”Sherlock said, somewhere between imperious and anxious.

“You’re on my hair,” Mollygrunted.

Oh my.

“It’s hair, it doesn’t hurt, itdoesn’t have nerves,” Sherlock said.

“My scalp does.”

“Going to venture a guess as tohow you got that black eye,” Mary said, trying not to giggle. Just watching (or, well, listening to) those two when they really gotgoing was so much better than a night at the theatre.

“And you would be wrong.  Thebaby’s fine, everything’s fine, go back to your date,” he bitout before ringing off.

Rude.

*

“I’m so sorry about the mess!  Igot most of it, but I didn’t want to keep Rosie up with hoovering…”Molly began as soon as they came through the door.  

Mary took in the pair of them, coveredin what was obviously baby powder by the smell; any other time she’dbe dying for an explanation of whatever hijinks had led to that stateof affairs, but she was still rather buzzed and John had been a bithandsy in the cab, so the sooner they left, the better.

“You can tell me all about ittomorrow,” she said, holding out Molly’s coat and giving her ameaningful look before tipping her head to John.  

Recognition dawned and Molly grabbedSherlock’s arm to steer him out the door, literally pulling him fromthe conversation he’d just started with John about who-cares-what.

Sherlock was indignant as hestarted to shake her off, but then Molly hissed something at him(Mary definitely made out the word 'sex’) and he settled.

“Thank you again for watchingRosie, you two get home safe,” Mary called, waving, as theystarted down the path to the street.

“Can’t wait for a shower,”Sherlock said, ruffling his hair and brushing the baby powder off hisshoulders.

“If you use up all the hot wateragain, I swear to God! You’re on the sofa for a month!”

“We could always share,”Sherlock said casually.

“Because you want another blackeye to match the first?”

Wow, Mary thought.  She really,really needed to hear that story, because two very differentmost-likely scenarios presented themselves.  Later, though; John wasgiving her that look.