#but looking at my top tags all im seeing is a callout for being mentally ill

[foggysirens]

I posted 3,690 times in 2022

That's 3,690 more posts than 2021!

307 posts created (8%)

3,383 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@surfing-on-a-soundwave

@rocktheholygrail

@skywalker-swift

@sadiebwrites

@transmascskywalker

I tagged 2,247 of my posts in 2022

Only 39% of my posts had no tags

#star wars - 1,369 posts

#art - 727 posts

#luke skywalker - 588 posts

#edits - 498 posts

#q - 390 posts

#din djarin - 382 posts

#dinluke - 265 posts

#mj.chatter - 261 posts

#the mandalorian - 229 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 181 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i was always taught that it’s better to buy one good thing that might cost you a bit more than something you’ll end up having to buy six of

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

obi-wan hiding leia under his coat in kenobi just makes me think that luke and leia would have definitely tried to pull off the ‘two kids in a trench coat’ thing if they had been allowed to stay together as kids

400 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#4

okay i just woke up but im still reeling from kenobi and all i can think about is bail organa and owen lars.

both of them having agreed to raise these children that mean so much to the galaxy. for bail, raising the daughter of one of his closest friends. owen, the son the brother he hardly knew, but knew was dangerous. both of them raising these children with such a fierce protectiveness.

owen, how when we see him with luke, the second that he’s not where he was supposed to be, owen is off shouting his name. how owen goes and tells obi wan to leave luke alone, leave him out of the jedi business because he’s seen what it can bring, can see luke is already too much like anakin. how then he literally stares down revas lightsaber, not speaking a word of his nephew. like not for a second there i thought owen would break.

bail, so overwhelmingly proud of leia already, of her free spirit. of how she can already stand up to those who treat others (and her) poorly. how he never tells her to change, only pinky swear to apologize after. how we won’t take no as an answer when it comes to getting her back. how in perfect contrast to owen who wants to keep obi from luke as much as possible, bail wastes no time travelling all the way to tatooine to make him help save her.

seeing them be character foils for each other while at the same time we get to see how similar luke and leia are and how they both handle raising them differently but with the same dedication and love is fucking beautiful.

633 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

watching din djarin constantly getting thrown around like a rag doll is so funny cause like yeah- he’s our main man, our badass bounty hunter with some of the best fighting prowess you’ll see, but he’s also the human embodiment of the question mark and does not think things through half the time- the man is smart but he’s absolutely winging it and putting himself in situations where, yeah, he’s gonna get sent flying across the room and i love that for him

665 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

#2

i love to think that sometimes luke will just casually drop the wildest, most unhinged pieces of lore about his upbringing on tatooine around the others and they'll all just look at him in slight fear like,

'oh yeah! that reminds me of when the kids from my school would all go jump into the womp-rat pit!'

and everyone is just like 'the fucking what pit?'

'the womp-rat pit! all the kids would go out to this outcrop in the dunes where there's this pit full of angry womp-rats and try to push each other in!'

or he'd go off about how pod-racing is fun, but pod-racing at night was even better cause it makes it harder to actually pilot- and oh that one time he even flipped but it was okay cause landing in the sand is mostly soft- and din would just be looking at him like 'how are you still living?'

764 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i think what made the last episode of kenobi, and the kenobi show as a whole, so special is because it really just reminded us that the heart of star wars is love.

we see it full force with beru and owen. both willing to do anything to protect luke. put their lives on the line for him. we see it in beru immediately jumping into action. we see it in owen's claiming of luke as his own. his son. their son. in the looks on their faces when they see luke again, the utter fear that he may be gone. because while obi-wan could most likely feel him in the force, for one gut wrenching moment owen and beru thought their boy was gone.

we see it in breha and bail. their odd, funny little girl finally home and you can just feel their joy. their pride when leia is unapologetically herself. and how when obi-wan talks to leia about her birth parents, she instead looks to them. those who have raised her with a fierce love and kindness. how when she looks to them, they look back with so much love.

we see it in obi-wan and anakin. obi-wan apologizing to anakin, and we have to wonder how long those words have been building inside him? and then the tragic acceptance that there is no longer that person there to love. that his ten years of grief, maybe longer, was over something that was not his fault, that he could have never succeeded in preventing. but at the same time, we know that obi-wan still holds his love for anakin. it's just that darth vader isn't him.

and don't even get me started on obi-wan and his love for luke and leia. how leia was the one to pull him from his isolation. become the man he was again. how watching over luke is his motivation to stay that way. how thinking about them literally is what gives him the strength to pull himself up from the ground. honestly obi-wan and the twins deserve their own post.

star wars has always been a story about love. it can, after all, ignite the stars. and the kenobi finale has captured that fully, making it feel like the most truly star wars show in ages.

2,098 notes - Posted June 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[getallemeralds]

apparently my brain wont let me sleep until i do this, so im sorry for any weird wording-- its 2 am (edit: now its 3) and im emotionally tired when I think about this. being vague abt ppl involved bc this isn't a callout its just me explaining what happened on my end

i guess you can reblog this if you want but please dont contact me about it, im stressed and my only thought is to just get this all over with so i dont need to think about it anymore

i was admin of a jsab discord that had a nsfw channel that could only be accessed with a role. before i was promoted, at least one minor had ended up with the role; i should've removed it as soon as i was admin, but didn't because im afraid of conflict and wasnt sure how to go about it. so, like, problem 1.

after events in the fandom (collin, minors posting nsfw art in main tags) i withdrew from jsab but stayed in the discord because i felt obligated to as an admin, and also because the other admin couldn't run it on her own. i ended up muting the nsfw channel, and eventually the server itself. i was starting to move on to other things and was engaging way less with the fandom than before

a few days ago i got a DM letting me know that an adult in the nsfw channel had been creating sexual content for a minor. i reacted really badly. for full disclosure, im a sexual abuse victim. i dont know how comfortable people would be if i went into specifics, but the situation reminded me way too much of it. on top of that, i was already stressed out and trying to recover from something that had happened with another friend totally unrelated to this. i also already disliked the person involved due to having to ask them to stop being "lewd" in the main channels but had been trying to set it aside bc they seemed nice and people liked them

i was brought into a group dm with several friends and... kind of had a total breakdown. at the time i think they thought i was just doing what had to be done after admitting id let it go on way too long, but the truth is i flew way off the handle and its terrifying to look back on. like, i legitimately haven't been that angry in a long time. it was not a state i should have been doing ANYTHING in, let alone trying to salvage a situation that was triggering me.

while this was going on, someone else was brought up in the group DM as grooming minors, and i was shown screenshots of a conversation in another server from before i joined where they were discussing an opinion along the lines of "i dont get the big deal with hiding nsfw art when minors are going to seek it out anyway" which... also made me very uncomfortable bc of my abuse. i ended up kicking them from the server as well with minimal warning.

at this point people in the server were reacting to an inactive admin suddenly kicking 2 active members and posting an announcement where i made no attempt to hide how furious i was. this part is kind of a blur to me but the group dm was reacting to it as it was going on and a person said something that pushed me over the edge. its kind of hard to describe it as "snapping" when i was already emotionally off the deep end but I pretty much exploded. the server fell apart after that

a day later i got contacted that there had been a psa in another server and people were upset at the friend who posted it because of things i said. im the one who called the people involved pedophiles. i dont think i was right to do that, but there was a lot going on in my head at the time and honestly i kept thinking about my abuse and about collin + when im that badly triggered theres not really any nuance to things

realizing that i broke apart a friend group + was leading to at least one friend getting harassed is why i left the fandom. not only did i fail at keeping people safe, i actively made it worse. i don't think the ppl in the dm are at fault for my actions or my mental state; i do feel upset about it bc of how much the situation escalated but i dont think they knew/understood what was going on with me (i wasnt exactly coherent about it) and how their cheering me on +encouraging me to take more action was making my mental state worse bc i had no opportunity to calm down or even fully process what was happening

im sorry for how i handled this entire situation. im staying away from the fandom (and from fandom discords in general), im trying to get my mental health in order, and i know this isn't a great apology to everyone that got hit by the aoe of my warpath. i just wanted to try and say my part of it because theres a lot of confusion over what happened and seeing as im a major player in it i need to say something

[littlebinkie]

why i left tumblr

hi everyone.

i’ve been gone for a long time and i’m not sure if anyone’s noticed, but i thought i’d probably explain why i haven’t been here.

i got sick of the hostility between rival communities. i was tired of seeing callout post after callout post on my dash when i only want a safe place to regress. i couldn’t make friends from this community, couldn’t join this community, couldn’t do this, that, had to be this, had to fit in, check a box to join a community. all of us regress different and i couldn’t regress how i wanted to. there are so many different guidelines to follow by that it got so tiring and so confusing.

new communities sprouted up constantly to the point where i didn’t know what was okay and not okay, didn’t know what communities were shifting and new communities started clashing, even communities that i was in, and i didn’t know who was “safe” or what was okay anymore. if you do something wrong once, on either side, you’re attacked and singled out and that’s JUST in the regression communities.

now i know it’s not okay to group yourself in with c. g . l . at all. i know that, and im absolutely not okay with ki..nk in age regression whatsoever. and communities like c. g . l (re) made sense to avoid, because they use the ki..nk tags and it’s not safe and i get that. but in the end who are we really fighting?

we’re going against ki..nk.. and that’s the point. we’re separating ourselves from that and that’s fine. so why is there fighting between us? when all of us recognize we’re not ki..nk? we’re not d . d . l . g and c . g . l and we’re not using those tags. that’s our common enemy and it makes sense for us to avoid them at all costs.. but each other? why? all of us want to be small. we all want to make friends and have a great impact and do fun, creative things and take back what it means to be little. D.I.D littles included too! we all want to reclaim what being little means. so why aren’t we one? we aren’t we on common grounds? we’re all safe and ki..nk free, right? what’s the point in fighting each other and taking even bigger tolls on people’s mental health when all we want is happiness and safety?

i know i couldn’t take it, for one. and i’ve seen so many people crumble and so many people leave yet their voices remain silenced by the hatred and i couldn’t stand it anymore. we congratulate telling people to die because they’re in ki..nk or even from a different community that’s pretty much the same as the one you’re in and i can’t take it. if you don’t agree with people in ki..nk, don’t tell them to die. don’t tell people to DIE. that’s so unacceptable and horrible. i was insulted and attacked so many times by so many different people, even people who were my own friends, because i made simple mistakes. we all make mistakes like reblog from the wrong community.. even though that community was safe too??

you have to see my side and the logic that is here. i was so stressed and scared to be here. walking on eggshells with every little thing i did so much so that i just couldn’t do it anymore. all i want is to be myself and be small separated from ki..nk. that’s what we all want.

so many hate blogs popped up, baiting people and attacking people and ruining their reputations and for what? what does it do for you? it feels like we’re all trapped in a prison, and we can’t see past our cells. we can’t look past things, like simple mistakes and the hatred we have, and that’s the problem in this world. spreading hate. fighting hate with hate. that’s what’s wrong with the world now, and why should we have the same problems in a place that should be a place for SMALL people?

i couldn’t even get away from people making inappropriate comments and using extreme curse words on my own dash, and i sure as heck was very careful with who i followed and yet, there was constant screaming fights and cursing and insulting people - people who used to be friends or from the same community who switched communities and it was so much. it made me honestly more depressed being on tumblr than it did make me happy.

there was enough stress to block every single c . g . l account i saw, but also to block out other safe regression communities and keep up with them and be on top of the drama? that was so hard. and even worse? if you chose to avoid it and were left out of the loop, people were suddenly angry at you too and you became a part of the problem for not.. being a part of the problem. people were mean. they wouldn’t tell you what was going on. so you were left confused and scared and .. alone.

it would go on and on and on and on and it made me sick and pained me each day. i was addicted to looking at tumblr to make sure nothing was wrong. my heart fell in my chest every time i posted something for fear that it would be the wrong thing. that i wouldn’t be good enough. and then i’d lose everything. i’m even terrified writing this to post it, because i know my words won’t matter, and this vicious cycle will continue, but i implore you to see it through my eyes.

now i don’t know what’s happened since i’ve been gone, im confused and scared. i don’t know if it’s okay for me to come back. i haven’t kept up with what’s happened to the communities im in. i don’t really know what to do. but i’m posting this regardless of what’s happened because i’d like people to know what this has done, and i hope you understand.

i really want to come back. i loved tumblr. i loved reblogging things that were cute and customizing my theme and above all making friends, but i haven’t been able to sustain any permanent friendships because of all this drama and my fears and i just don’t want to do that anymore.

i really hope that all of you understand what i’m saying and please don’t get mad at me… i’m only saying how i feel and why i haven’t been here.. i just hope that these words may open someone’s eyes.

and i don’t mean to bring negativity, only an explanation. i’ll make sure to tag this for anyone who may be uncomfy with heavy things. i still hope everyone’s doing okay despite this and that you have a lovely day. because no matter what, i love each of you that’s followed me and stayed with me through the moments i’ve had here and through the drama. i really appreciate you.( ^ω^ )